Secrets: Mine, Yours and Ours
by raok
Summary: Bella and Edward are both in serious relationships that have found their way to a couples counselor. What happens when Edward finds out something that could destroy them both? Will he tell Bella, or keep the truth hidden? A/U, fruitbaskets, BxJmz & ExT
1. Chapter 1

Hey Kella Kella!! Wanna come out and POV with me?

Hells to the yea! Look it's our second adventure of Bel&Kel!

Hehe, it sounds like a cheesy 80's movie, but... not gonna lie, this shit is oh-so good, dontcha think?

Not to be redundant, but Hells to the yea!

Kels, you're not redundant, just completely and hopelessly enthusiastic. Which I love. So hey, is this the bit where we tell people that SMeyer owns this?

Yeah, it's just too bad we can't have a perma-disclaimer on our info page. Having to remember to do that shit every chap is lame.

Fact, not fiction. I'm legit excited for this one though... anything else before we get to it?

Umm.... reviews will keep us motivated to continue, even though this is such a good story I don't think we could stop if you asked us to. But fuck, why would you? We're awesome :P

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**BPOV**

My leg was twitching up and down uncontrollably as I looked up at the clock. _Where the fuck was he_? We had our appointment at 6:30 on the dot. This was just like him, not fucking caring where I needed to be, only where _he_ wanted to go. I sighed in frustration as I clamped my hand over my thigh to stop the nervous tick. The door creaked open at 6:28 and my head snapped back to look at who walked through. There he fucking was, thank the fucking heavens. He sauntered in like it was no big fucking deal; like we hadn't agreed to meet at the coffee shop across the street at 5:30 to catch up since we'd barely seen each other since last week. No of course I didn't actually miss my boyfriend James, and really there wasn't even a point to us going into couples therapy. Nope, just something else to fucking do because we both weren't busy enough as is. Ugh.

"Hey Babe." He said aloofly, taking the seat beside me and pecking my cheek.

"Really? 'hey babe, that's it?" I asked staring at him pointedly

He shrugged. "Um... I love you?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, 'I'm sorry for blowing you off and meeting you an hour late?'"

"Isn't our appointment at 6:30?"

"We were supposed to meet at 5:30 at the cafe across the street, remember?"

It was like the light bulb finally went off. "Oh, shit! I totally forgot. I got hung up with the guys at the garage and we were just talkin trash, you know how it is babe." There was a beat before he turned to look at me, confused. "But why didn't you call?"

"I _did_, three times. I thought you were dead in a gutter or something." I snapped. Just then the doctor's door squeaked open and a couple walked out. The woman was absolutely fucking stunning - tall, leggy, blonde hair and blue-ish/green eyes. Fuck it was like her eyes were matched to the waters in Hawaii. Behind her, her boyfriend/husband appeared and if possible he was even more attractive. My breath actually hitched as I saw him look up. His emerald green eyes stared into mine and I felt my cheeks flush at the gaze. He stood taller than his spouse by quite a few inches and his long, lean body was accentuated by the tight fitting black tshirt and dark wash jeans he had on. Fuck, was it wrong to want to hump someone you've never seen before?

"It'd probably be more fucking fun that dealing with you right now." James said under his breath. I sighed and shook my head. Why the fuck did I even bother? Oh right, I loved him or something.

I stood up as the doctor waived us in, glancing over at James. He was eye fucking the blonde as she leaned over the receptionist's desk to pay. I cleared my throat, "James?" He didn't say anything as he licked his bottom lip and pulled it into his mouth.

"JAMES!" I shouted a bit too loudly for the small, quiet room. His eyes flickered to me before back to the blonde and finally settled on my face. "What?"

**EPOV**

My head snapped back to the little brunette, sitting in the corner with a murderous gaze in her eye.

"What?" The guy next to her said, looking back at her a bit impatiently. Hell, she just wanted his attention. What the fuck could be more important than... oh. I looked back at Tanya, my fiancée, and realized why. We were in a couples counsellor, and he was checking out my girl. I rolled my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. I told her that I hated it when she wore those tight dresses. People stared at her, and she was gorgeous, but that didn't mean I didn't hate it. In fact, most times I was downright disgusted. I put a ring on her finger. Lay the fuck off.

"Edward, next week?" She said to me as she casually flipped through her datebook.

"Same time." I said, turning my attention back to the brunette. She and her boyfriend were talking quietly--but forcefully-- to one another. She was a real spit fire, I could tell. She was really letting him have it. I was almost proud of this complete stranger. She looked up at me again and met my eye. I sucked in a breath quickly, and even though I wanted to look away, I couldn't. It was like I was being sucked into the vortex of those chocolate brown eyes. In the seven years I'd been with Tanya, I'd never been as enamored with a pair of eyes. I felt Tanya's hand scrape down my chest.

"Ready, Baby?" She asked.

"Yeah... Yeah." I grabbed her hand and marched out to the parking area. We got into the car and I drove in silence, unable to get that poor girl out of my head.

"So what did you think?" Tanya asked, looking out the window.

"It was... good." I sighed and adjusted my grip on the wheel. Tanya'd been complaining for some time now that we haven't been connecting during sex. Hey, my cock found her pussy. That's a connection. I loved her; of course I loved her, and that's why I was doing this. She was unhappy, and I didn't like that. Especially when it was so obviously my fault. I reached out with my other hand and brushed the hair back behind her ear once we got to a red light.

"I love you."

She pulled out her blackberry and began scrolling through menus. "Mhm, you too, babe. You wanna grab dinner?"

I sighed, and pressed down on the accelerator. "Yeah, sure. Anywhere in particular?"

"Mmm, what about the burger joint just up the road?"

"Okay."

She was just so... cold sometimes. It was like she didn't want to be with me, even though I would always give her anything she asked for. I bent over backwards for this girl, and she hardly ever acknowledged me anymore. When we met in college, she was a completely different person. She was fun and vivacious, always going. But once we graduated and she got a job, she started spending less and less time with me. I don't mean to sound like an abandoned housewife; I was really anything but. I'd been working as a free lance photographer since we graduated, and I fucking loved every minute of it. It was amazing to watch someone be transformed simply with the click of my shutter button. Tanya even bought me my first professional camera for our first anniversary. I used to call her shutter bug, too. I exhaled slowly as I turned into the parking lot of the restaurant.

I wanted her back. I only hoped that she wanted me, too.

**BPOV**

Our first session with Dr. Carlisle went about as well as expected. I talked about my issues with being able to count on him and how that was becoming a bigger and bigger issue, while James' only complaint was that we didn't fuck enough. The good doc gave us homework our very first session. He wanted us to work on spending more time together. He let us know that it was perfectly normal for a couple who begins dating in college to get too busy for each other after graduation and once our "adult lives" kick in. He thought it'd be great for us to do a date night Saturday. He recommended a restaurant in downtown Seattle that he said he asked all his patients to go to since it was very quiet and romantic. From there, he said to be open minded and let it take us where it may... which I deducted was his way of helping James with his complaint.

The week went by and I saw James even _less_. There were times it didn't even seem like we were dating and after nearly 5 years together, you'd think that we'd be more in synch. But nope, not James and I. So when Saturday night rolled around half of me was excited to see him for the first time in days, and the other half wanted to bail on the evening and sit at home eating ice cream and watching the latest netflix movie that was sitting in my mailbox.

But I did love James and I wanted to work through all this shit to either get better or to get to a point where it was clear there was no point left in trying. So I tried; I put on my little black dress - the only semi-nice dress i had in my wardrobe and a pair of flats so I didn't ruin the evening by landing myself in the ER. I took a cab to the restaurant, figuring that I'd wind up spending the evening at James' or at the very least, he could drive me home. Part of me was anxious; it almost felt like a first date. And technically it was. This was the first _real_ date we'd had since our first date back in college. James wasn't big on romance, or being sweet, or doing the 'little things'. He was big on the "let's be real" and didn't have any pretenses. He did what he said and didn't skirt around issues, even difficult ones. Those were qualities that I admired; he was very true to who he was and never pretended to be anything else.

I walked into the restaurant and my eyes scanned the room quickly, trying to pick him out. I didn't see him at a table and then I spotted the bar. Of course he'd be there; My eyes went from face to face as I walked over, not one of those faces being James. My eyes focused on a familiar bronze haired man and I smirked to myself, Dr. Carlisle really _did_ advise all his patients to go here. Maybe he owned the restaurant as a side business? I took one more glance around the restaurant for my boyfriend before walking towards the green eyed god and taking a seat in the bar stool beside him. "Popular spot for Dr. Carlisle's patients, eh?" I said to him as I waved the bartender down.

I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye as he chuckled. "Seems to be. I'm Edward."

My body swiveled to face him. "Bella." I stated, returning the smile.

"So what brings you all the way out here tonight?"

The bartender finally came our way, and I ordered a vodka tonic. "A homework assignment. Doctor's ordered date night." I took a sip of my drink before looking up at him and getting momentarily drawn into his eyes. "What about you?"

He laughed lightly twirling the bottle of beer along the bar top. "Guess our doc's not too original. My fiancée's running late though."

I knew he had someone else, but that didn't stop the twinge of pain from shooting to my heart at the word _fiancee_. "Mine appears to have forgotten."

He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side, seemingly confused. "Forgotten? Have you called?"

I laughed a little, shaking my head. "Calling James has no effect. Even if he did by the grace of god pick up, there's no guarantee he'd leave whatever he was doing if he thought it was more enjoyable than the alternative."

"Well, he's an idiot then. Nothing would keep me from my girl."

Is it considered epic heart-fail if your heart breaks because the guy saying what you wish the man you loved would say, aren't one in the same? "Your girl's really fucking lucky then." I said with a half smile playing at my lips

He took a swig from his beer and set it back down on the counter. "I wish she thought so." His eyes caught mine and for a brief moment I could have sworn everyone else just faded into the background. His words snapped me back to reality: "Guess that's why we're in counseling though, huh?"

I nodded, taking a big sip of my drink. "So did your fiancee give you an ETA? Is she just running a few minutes late, or one of those 'honey I have to run home and change, see you in two hours' kinds of late?"

"Mm, more like 'we're having an emergency strategy meeting, and i'll call you when I"m done kind of late" he peeked down at his watch, glancing at it casually. "Actually, in about five minutes, she'll call and say she's not gonna make it."

"That kinda sucks." I said frowning sympathetically. "Well," I began, sliding off the seat, "if she does wind up bailing - which I sincerely hope she doesn't - and you want to still get some food, I'll be over there." I motioned to an empty 2 person table over looking the bay.

"Well, if you don't mind I'll join you now?" He asked, looking at me like a wide eyed lost puppy.

Not going to fucking lie, my heart sped up a bit at his request and I nodded, trying to hide the gigantic fucking smile that wanted to spread across my face. "Sure."

**EPOV**

I smiled back at her bewildered face and felt this weird cramp in my stomach as she looked at me. I must have eaten something. I thought that tuna sandwich earlier tasted fishy...

I followed her over to her table, and took the place across from her picking up the menu. "So your sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind walking in on us?"

She laughed a little and folded her napkin in her lap. "James won't be here. If he had any intention of showing up tonight he'd be here already. What about your fiancee? Won't she be a little peeved if she does come by and sees you eating with another girl?"

I laughed at (first) the thought of Tanya actually showing up and (second) how red her face would be if she saw us. "Yeah, probably. But what's wrong with me wanting to have dinner with my new friend Bella?"

"I don't know. I know I'd be a little _worried_ if you were my boyfriend and I saw you at a fancy restaurant like this eating dinner with another woman."

I folded my menu back down and looked at Bella. She was attractive, definitely; beautiful even. She had this sort of... kind thing going on that definitely made me take a second look. But I had a fiancée, and no matter how unhappy we were, I wouldn't cheat on her. I loved her. "If you were my finacée, you wouldn't have to worry. I wouldn't leave you alone long enough to get into a situation like this."

"I - I don't mean to be rude, especially because I've enjoyed your company. But then why not go to her? Surprise her with take out or something. You don't need to be here now that the homework experiment has gone awry for us both."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. It was complicated, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to get into it now with a girl a just met. "Listen, I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. Maybe I should go home."

She put her hand over mine on the table. "No! I mean... please don't. I didn't mean to pry, I'm sorry."

My eyes shot down to her hand over mine and I was baffled by the electric tingle I felt passing between us. She retracted her hand quickly and folded them in her lap. "Hey," I said, dipping my head down to catch her eye. "It's fine. It's just that Tanya and I are a bit... complicated. It's not as simple as wanting her, and going to her." I wanted it to be that way; fuck if I didn't want it to be that way.

She tilted her head to the side. "Why not? Shouldn't it be? Shouldn't love be 'I love you, you love me. Let's be together and just enjoy it for as long as we're fortunate to have it'?"

I sighed and saw the waiter coming at us out of the corner of my eye. "I should be. But if it were like that, what the hell would we be doing in therapy?"

She quirked an eyebrow and we gave the waiter our order. When he left, I figured she owed me.

"So you and your boyfriend. Why won't he come and sweep you off your feet?"

Bella laughed a little, taking a sip of water. "I don't think he even knows what that term means, let alone how to do it."

"Why stay with him then? It seems like he lets you down a lot."

"Why? Because despite everything I do love him. James may not always say or do the right thing, but he is always who he is. I like having a constant like that. Not many people are genuine these days. I can live with a little let down every now and again, and no romance. It's not like I've ever had any before. Can't miss what you never had, right?"

I looked at her and her solid indifference and instantly felt sorry for her. I really just wanted to take her away from that. "You deserve that, though. Everyone does."

She shrugged. "Like I said Edward, I can't miss what I never had. I can _think_ of all the romantic things I wish he would do but I can't dwell on it. It's not the type of person James has ever been and for me to discard him for being anything but the man he is would go against every reason that I love him."

I didn't make sense to me. She seemed to want all of the things that she was talking about, but didn't see herself as worth them. She loved this James for god only knows what reason, and clearly she was hell bent on staying with him. Just like Tanya and I when I thought about it.

There wasn't really a chance to dwell on anything, because our food arrived and we talked about everything but the reason we'd met. It just seemed weird to be sitting across from someone who was iin exactly the same situation as I was. She could probably sympathize and understand, but for some reason I was still reluctant to talk to her. It just didn't make sense. After a short scuffle for the check (which I insisted on paying) we were heading outside, and I pulled out my keys.

"Where's your car?" I asked, clicking the lock on the volvo.

"Oh, well, I was just gonna walk for a bit. I don't feel like going home right away."

I shifted and pushed my hands in my pockets. "That's probably not such a good idea. There's a ton of wolves around here."

She laughed a little and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'll be fine, Edward, but thanks. And for dinner, too. It was really nice."

She started to walk away, but I felt this weird pang in my chest. "Hey, Bella, WAIT!" I called after her. She turned slowly, her eye brows knit together in confusion. "Lemme walk with you."

"Oh... no, it's okay. I'll be fine. No worries."

I looped her arm through mine and continued walking. "I insist."

**BPOV**

It was all too tempting to rest my head against him as we walked and talked about everything and nothing. But I refrained. It was weird enough that this felt like a date and we both had respective significant others. Couple that with the fact that I was far too comfortable with him considering we'd only officially met a few hours ago, and it was getting to be too much. I pulled away from his arm and walked over to the water's edge, leaning against the wood railing. "I really think Gargamel was just being racially profiled for _not _being a smurf." Edward said as he caught up and leaned against the railing beside me. My body shivered as a gust of wind wizzed by and I laughed. "Racially profiled, huh?" I said turning my face to his and smirking. He nodded adamantly removing his jacket and draping it over my shoulders without a second thought. "Yep, think about it. Were there any villians that were smurfs?"

I thought a moment and shook my head. "I don't think so; I don't remember any."

His face beamed as he took in my thoughtful expression. "You were really thinking about it weren't you? Trying to think of the smurf bad guys?"

I blushed and laughed to myself, looking down at the ground. "Maybe."

His fingers curled under my chin and lifted my face up to his. "That's kind of awesome." He said, grinning. We stood there looking at each other, smiling like dopes for what felt like ages. Slowly, I felt his hand slide from my chin up to my jaw and cup my cheek. His touch felt amazing, it spread heat throughout my body.

"Bella..." he whispered, gazing down at me. My heart was thumping at a million beats a second and I leaned towards him, closing my eyes as I lightly brushed my lips against his. I went back over them, letting my lips linger a little longer. The third time my lips came into contact with his, he kissed back. His lips pressed against mine and my arms looped around his neck. He tasted amazing.

**EPOV**

First we were talking about smurfs and now I was... kissing her. How one had led to the other, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted it, and fuck, it kind of felt like she wanted it too. Her hand came up and tugged at my hair, so I pulled her closer to me, fully and completely in the moment. But then Bella moaned. It wasn't the usual, half bored moan that Tanya usually gave me, but rather an incredibly aroused and ready to go moan. That pulled me right out of it. I pulled back and my eyes snapped open. But Bella... Bella, stayed where she was, her lips slightly parted and puckered, and her skin flushed. It took every ounce of strength in me to pull away. I dropped my arms from around her and her eyes snapped open and she turned the most beautiful shade of red as she blushed.

"Fuck, Bella, I'm... I'm sorry." The thing is though, I wasn't. That scared the shit out of me.

"No... no, it's fine."

I put my fingers up to my lips, then looked back at the parking area. "So, I... I'd better be going. We'll get together again though, right?"

She twisted her fingers in front of her self as she bit her bottom lip. "Uh, yeah. I guess so."

I nodded and started walking away. "Okay then."

"Okay."

"I'll see you later, Bella. " I said, watching her eyes close off and her body go rigid.

"Bye, Edward."

"Bye."

I turned away from her and jogged back to my car.

What the fuck was I doing?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:  
Listen up hoes. we've spent all weekend POVing, quite literally. You all should give 'lala here a huge fucking round of applause for staying up til 5 am TWO nights in a row to get this done for you guys. Give her love.**

**Oh, kella kels... it's no big deal. If I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't do it. And technically, we could call it 2 am...**

Nonsense, stop arguing with history. You know what, i'm not even going to try and segue this shit... SMeyer owns these characters and obviously our souls, so props to her.

**Mhm, evidently. Uh, I'm at a loss today. Maybe just leave us some love?**

Yes, please and thank you.**  
**

**EPOV**

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

What the fuck did I just do?

I swung the volvo onto the road, and started barreling toward my house. I couldn't believe I'd just done that. What the hell was I thinking? I had a fiancée who would be absolutely crushed if she knew what I'd just done. She'd be... fuck. I stopped at a red light and leaned my head against the steering wheel. Ugh, what I mess I'd made. And Bella? Poor Bella. I'd just left her there, so freaking confused. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have her number or anything to apologize, which meant that she'd either think that I was an asshole who makes out with random chicks or just that I was an asshole. Not gonna lie, I definitely felt like one.

I lifted my head when I heard a honk from behind me, and proceeded. They both deserved better. Tanya. My poor Tanya. I loved her with everything I had, and now look at what happened to us? I was making out with random girls who I'd just met. What a pathetic excuse for a man I turned out to be. I sighed when I turned into our drive way and saw her car already there. I should tell her; I knew I should, but at the same time I didn't want to upset her, and I didn't want to lose her. I was definitely in danger of losing her. I couldn't let that happen. But then again, I shouldn't have fucked up in the first place.

I got out of my car and sprinted up the walk and through the door. The house was eerily calm. Tanya would usually have the tv going, at least, and the blender. She liked to make smoothies after work. I heard a groan coming from somewhere upstairs and I instantly panicked. Great. My fiancée was at home, sick and I was making out on a dock with some chick. Great, Edward. You're made of fucking win. I took the stairs two at a time, and followed the methodic groans to our bedroom.

"Guuuuhhhhh, fuuuuccccckkkk." I heard Tanya moan. Geeze, she didn't sound too sick right now.

"Fuck, baby..." Wait. That was a man. Tanya was _definitely_ not a man. Maybe she was watching porn?

I pushed our bedroom door open slowly. Wishful thinking. Tanya had her arms and legs wrapped around a naked blonde guy who was thrusting into her and his mouth attached to her neck. I wanted to die, right then and there. It felt like my heart was being ripped and shredded into tiny pieces. I couldn't take this... I couldn't.

"Fuck, James..." James? Not... no... it' couldn't be--

"God, you ride my cock so much better than Bella ever did." Whelp, guess that answers that question.

"mmmm, I love your dick inside me. Fills me so much better than Edward ever could."

Okay.

No.

That was it. You brought my junk into this, and now I was officially over it. I raced back down the stairs and to my car, not really caring if they heard me or not. It didn't make a difference at this point. I was dead on the inside anyway. I began to wonder if I'd ever feel alive again. Then it hit me. Bella. I'd felt alive when I was kissing Bella. And apparently, I was downright PG compared to my... fiancée. I made a quick left back toward the docks where I'd left Bella. I could only hope she was still there. I parked my car quickly and bolted down the walk way, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her petite frame still wrapped up in my jacket.

"Bella!" I called, running over to her.

She turned to look at me, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly opened. It was then that I knew what I had to do; what was necessary to make Tanya pay.

"Edward? What are you doing here?"

I made the last few steps over to her and took her face in my hands. It was perfect. "This."

I leaned in and crushed her lips to mine. At first, I expected her to pull away, or to slap me. But, no. She merely moaned into my mouth, and wrapped her skinny little arms around my neck. My hands moved from her face to her waist, and I pulled her into me. I swiped my tongue against her lips and she pulled it into her mouth, sucking gently. It was my turn to moan now. I wanted this; I needed this. But more than anything... I needed to seduce Bella Swan.

**BPOV**

I'm not sure what Edward was doing. What made him come back, or what made him kiss me like he was but I wasn't about to ask questions. It felt too good to ask them and risk losing the moment. My fingers knotted in his hair and I pulled at his strands. He groaned into my mouth and tilted his head more to kiss me deeper. I'd never been kissed like this before; I'd never had this _reaction_ to a kiss before. It was like my mind went from kissing Edward to wanting him buried inside me. But I'd never been kissed like this; James had never kissed me like this. FUCK! James! I pulled away abruptly and gasped. What the fuck was I doing? I was kissing an _engaged_ man, knowing he was engaged, while I had a boyfriend whom I loved.

Stupid fucking Bella.

"I... w-what..." I stuttered. I closed my eyes briefly and took a deep breath before reopening them. "Why did you come back?"

"I... I... Would you believe me if I said it was for my jacket?"

I laughed a little to myself, and bit my lip trying to hide my smile. "No, not really. Normally when people get their coats they don't kiss the attendant. Unless I've been doing it wrong all these years..."

He laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, seems that way. But... um... I guess I just wanted to see if it would be just as good the second time." He said turning his lips up in a shy half smile.

My eyes looked down towards the pavement. "And?" I asked quietly.

His hands rested on the sides of my face and I looked up. His lips brushed over mine again feather light as he whispered, "It was better."

I sighed contentedly and smiled a little soaking the moment in. This would be my moment; the one I could look back on in 50 years when I was going old and senile and smile at. The single most romantic moment to ever happen to me - nothing could ever top this. I could just selectively forget the whole 'he's not the person who should be saying them' thing... yeah that could work.

My body pulled away from his hesitantly. Every part of me was saying to stay but I couldn't; I'd already done too much, and who knows if James would or could forgive me for this. I shrugged out of his jacket and folded it in half over my arm, extending it out to him. "Here you go."

He looked from me to the jacket and back to my face. "Um, thanks?"

My lips curved into a smile and I nodded. "You said you came back for your jacket. Sorry I hogged it, and sorry twice if it smells like me. Maybe you should wash it before you wear it around Tanya."

"I'd rather not. What if I never see you again?"

A chill went down my spine and I shrugged, trying to keep myself from full on pouting at the thought of never seeing him again. "Edward I can't... _we_ can't." No joke, my heart fucking tightened at my words.

He took a step towards me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and letting his fingers gently slide down my cheek. "Why not? I want this... I want you."

Fucking hell, I wasn't strong enough to handle this kind of temptation. "Because," I sighed, "You can't want me. You have a fiancee, a very beautiful one if I remember correctly, waiting for you after a long day at work. And you're _engaged_ Edward and in love. So you _can't_ want me. Just like I have a boyfriend whom I've been completely faithful to for 5 years, so I can't want you."

"How could you know that? Tanya and I are... she and I aren't even together anymore. Bella, the reason I didn't surprise her with dinner tonight is because she refuses to buzz me up to her office. She always says she's too busy for me. I don't... I don't feel for her what I'm feeling for you. You have to understand... you have to know what I mean." His eyes begged me to understand but it was just... too much.

I let out an exasperated breath. "Edward, you've known me what... 4 hours at best? You can't _possibly_ say that you don't feel for her what you're feeling for me. It's impossible."

He hung his head and let out a breath. "Then I apologize, Bella. I didn't mean to... make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

"You didn't make me uncomfortable Edward." My hand reached up to cup his cheek and he looked directly into my eyes. "I just wish we'd met under different circumstances, at different times." I smiled and laughed softly. "I'd probably be dragging you back to my place."

He leaned his face towards me, whispering in my ear, "You have no idea... how much I want that." He dragged his lips lazily against my cheek murmuring, "But I suppose you're right, Bella." He lifted his face up and looked directly at me, smiling sadly.

If I was so _right_ then why did I feel like I was going against nature by denying this? All I wanted was to think of some logical reason why this would work, how this could work... but I couldn't. As I gazed up at him, I'm sure with a similar melancholy grin on my face I nodded. "Swan." I said.

His brows furrowed. "What?"

"My name is Bella Swan." I clarified, pulling away and walking backwards slowly, trying to avoid tripping over myself. "If you're ever single again... look me up." I lifted my hand to waive goodbye before spinning on the balls of my feet and walking away. As I felt the magnetic field die down the further I walked from Edward, the more my heart felt like it was breaking. And all I could think was: would it hurt this much if James and I broke it off?

The scariest part was my immediate reaction: no.

**EPOV**

I watched her walking away, and I knew I couldn't let this happen. Even though, Bella was just a pawn in my game, there was definitely something between us. It wasn't the comfortable, everyday thing I'd had with Tanya, but something else. It was like I was being consumed by a fire, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. This girl had me in her clutches. I brought one hand to my chest, trying to ease the annoying as fuck aching thing I had going on.

"Bella, you don't know how long I've waited for you!" I called after her.

I was breathing heavily as she turned back to face me.

"What?" Her eyes were narrowed at me, and I knew then that she still didn't get it. Well, thank fucking god, cause I didn't get it either.

I took a few steps over to her, my arm still plastered to my chest. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you."

"Waiting for _me_?" she laughs a little pointing to herself.

"Bella, c'mon, you're completely ruining my moment. I'm trying to make you feel wanted and you're laughing at me." I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face if I tried.

She snorted a little and covered her hand with her mouth. "Sorry... I just..." she giggled, "this is kind of surreal. People, men... attractive men, like you don't say stuff like this to me. It's all very... surreal - like I said." She dropped her hand with a slight flourish, that silly smile still in place.

I laughed a little back at her and pulled her into my arms. "Well, I want you. Please, believe me when I tell you I've been waiting my entire fucking life for someone to make me feel as alive as you do. And so what if it's only been four hours? So fucking what? I know that I've never felt this way about anyone. Not one single person. Just you, Bella... only you."

She looked down at her hands pressed on my chest. "Me too..." She glanced up to look at me, then kissed me softly.

I pulled away after a second, still holding her tight to my chest. "Bella, I want this, but if you're unsure--"

Her lips hovered over mine as she whispered: "I'm sure. I want this, you have no idea _how much_ I want this. Whatever it is, wherever it goes, I want it." She pressed her lips to mine, and my body instantly responded. I let her lips move against mine, and even though I knew I was playing a game, I couldn't help but get lost in her taste and her smell and just fucking... her. It was _never_ like this when I was kissing Tanya. I could never lose myself this way in her. It seemed like it was... only Bella. I pulled away slowly, resting my forehead to hers.

"I should go... she might be back."

"Don't... not tonight. Tonight, come back with me..."

I sighed and kissed the tip of her nose. I couldn't say no to her; for some reason, I just couldn't. "Did you drive?"

She shook her head, "I thought... I wasn't expecting to not have a ride."

I grabbed her hand and led her over to the volvo. "Oh, you'll get one, alright."

She gave me directions to her house, and as soon as we pulled out onto the main road, I called Tanya. The call went straight to voicemail, and I told her that I'd be at my studio tonight to prepare for a shoot tomorrow. I'd done it before, so I wasn't worried. Actually, I was more worried about not feeling guilty. It really didn't feel like I was doing a bad thing. This felt like the most natural thing in the world to do.

"W-will she be suspicious?" Bella, asked, tapping her fingers nervously on the arm rest.

"Uh, no. She shouldn't be. What about yours?"

"James and I, lately... we haven't seen a lot of each other. He's a paramedic and I have a typical 9-5 so our schedules don't always mesh."

I nodded and turned down her street. "This is it?" I asked.

"Yeah, this is me."

She looked over to me, and I smiled at her before leaning over and kissing her full on the lips. It felt so fucking perfect... and right. Why the fuck didn't I feel like this was wrong?

"We should go in." She breathed, pulling away.

"Okay. Let's go."

I knew this was the beginning of the end.

**BPOV**

His arms wrapped around me from behind as I fiddled with my keys. His lips found my neck and my knees turned to jelly. What the fuck was he doing to me, and why did I have no urge to stop him?

I finally managed to open the door and sighed with relief, never more thankful of spending my Saturday cleaning the apartment. I turned around in his arms so I was facing him. "Baby, this is your last chance. We can stop now, if you want." My eyes looked into his begging him to not have changed his mind.

"I just want you, Bella... all of you." His lips pressed to mine and I smiled under the kiss, letting a breath out I hadn't realized I was holding in.

Any worry or doubts I had in the back of my head vanished when his lips hit mine. This felt right, there was nothing about it that felt wrong. We stumbled through the door and his lips broke from mine to turn and shut the door, locking it up. In the time it had taken him to close us in for the night I had unzipped my dress leaving it in a puddle a few feet from him and had begun making a trail of clothing articles towards my bedroom.

"Bella?" He asked, his eyes following the path I'd made. My back was facing him and I looked over my shoulder, standing in only a pair of underwear and covering my bare chest with my forearm as I stood a few feet from my bedroom door. "You coming?" I purred.

**EPOV**

Was I coming? Hell, I was about to cream my pants.

I went to her, pulling off my shirt on the way. I pulled her into my arms, and kissed her hard as we walked back toward the bed. I flopped on top of her and ran my hands up and down her bare torso as she moaned into my mouth. It was perfect, _she_ was perfect. She was the only thing in my mind. I kissed my way from her mouth and along the lithe column of her neck, licking and sucking along the way. Her hands thrust into my hair and I smiled against her skin. "Edward... Edward..."

Fuck, I loved it when she said my name. My lips found their way down to her perfect breasts, and I traced circles around them with the tip of my nose. "You have no idea, love, how wonderful you feel under me. It's perfection."

I placed a hot, open mouth kiss over one of her hard nipples and she gasped, arching into my touch. You have no idea how great it was to be with someone who was responsive. It was like... heaven. My hand found her other breast, and began working it in time with my mouth before switching off. Once I was satisfied that her breast knew how perfect they were, I kissed down her body, tracing circles around her belly button with my tongue as my fingers began to tug her underwear down. She kicked it off and I let my hand slide back up her leg to the wet heat of her core.

"God Bella, you're so fucking wet for me. I can't wait to see how good you'll feel wrapped around my cock."

She moaned a little and started kissing me as I dipped two fingers into her. Her hips bucked down into my hand and I kissed her harder. Slowly, I began thrusting my fingers in and out of her, watching as she shifted and writhed under my touch. This was better than anything; almost better than cumming myself. Something about being able to do this to someone like Bella... fuck. It just made me feel more like a man. Speaking of manly things, Bella's leg started to lift up and rub methodically against my raging hard on. I groaned into her mouth and thrust another finger into her. She gasped and replaced her leg with her hand cupping my junk through my pants and stroking me.

"You're wearing too many clothes," she murmured. I dropped my head to her shoulder, never losing the pulsing rhythm of my fingers as she undid my pants and rid me of them and my boxers. She kissed me hard once she wrapped her hand around me. "Perfect," she whispered against my lips. "Just like I know you'd be."

God that shit was hot. Her hand started moving in time with my fingers, and I started curving them on the way down as she swiped her thumb over the head of my dick and swirling around the precum. I felt her walls begin to flutter around my hand, so I let my thumb find her clit mand I made gentle circles around it.

"Bella, Bella, Baby? Can you cum for me?" With each word, the pressure from my thumb increased. She was ridiculously close. "Please, Baby, I want you to cum all over my hand. Please..."

"OH FUCK EDWARD!" She yelled as her walls clenched down around my fingers and she arched off the bed in the most delicious way. I have never seen anything more erotic in my entire life. I kept thrusting my fingers in and out slowly as she caught her breath.

"Edward... Edward..." she said softly. "Please... I need you in me. Please... fuck me."

I kissed the spot just under her ear, "I need that, too. Do have a condom?"

"Nightstand." She said breathlessly.

I leaned over and pulled one out quickly tearing open the package. But then I realized her hand was still on me. I tapped the top of her hand. "Baby, if you want me in you, you gotta let go."

She hummed a little, taking one last stroke before releasing me. I rolled on the rubber and crashed back down on top of her, positioning myself at her entrance.

"Bella, are you sure?" I asked. This was her last chance; if she wanted out, this was the moment to say so.

"Yes, I'm sure... please, Edward, please fu--- OH GOD!!!" I cut off her sentence as I thrust into her tight heat, groaning almost immediately at the sensation. I held still for a minute, letting her adjust to my size, even though I was pretty sure it would kill me. I bided my time, waiting for her to be ready by planting light kisses on her face and neck. Then she wiggled her hips, and I figured it was time to get moving-- literally. I dipped into her slowly at first, letting her get used to me, but after a while she started thrustin her hips up to meet mine, pushing me to go faster and harder. And who was I to deny her?

"Fuck, Bella, you feel so fucking good." I moaned. "I could be in you all the time."

Her hands pulled and tugged at my hair, and I bit down on her collar bone. I reached down in between our sweaty bodies and pinched her swollen clit. That was when I felt her start to quake again.

"Shit, baby. Are you gonna cum for me again? Please baby... can you do it? Cum for me, baby."

"Ungggggggg, EDWARD!" She yelled, "I"m gonna,... shit I'm gonna... FUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!"

I felt her clamp down around me, and after a few more thrusts, I was cumming, too, buried deep inside of her delicious depths. I kissed her all over as we caught our breath. She heaved a sigh, and I rolled off of her, pulling out in the process, and pulling Bella into my chest.

"So we're really doing this, " I mused, playing with the ends of her hair. "Are you sure?"

She laughed and pressed a kiss into my chest. "I'm sure. Now make me cum again. I have five years to make up for."

I laughed as her lips met mine, and I felt my dick trying to get hard.

Yeah, this girl would definitely be my demise.

**BPOV**

My eyes blinked open slowly as I sighed and focused in front of me. Edward. We were laying facing each other and his arm was wrapped around my waist. He was so fucking sexy, even sleeping. Honestly, it was kind of ridiculous. I brushed a couple stray hairs off his forehead and watched him sleep. He looked so at peace, so relaxed. My lips pressed against the corner of his mouth gently and he grumbled. I really didn't want to wake him up (okay maybe I did a _little_) but I couldn't get enough of how he tasted. I kissed the other corner of his mouth and his head turned as his lips parted and pulled my bottom lip between his.

I pulled my face back and saw his eye flutter opening. "Morning." He whispered groggily, smiling shyly. I matched his grin, "morning."

He moved his hand up to cup my face and leaned in closer, brushing his lips against mine again. "Condom," I breathed into his mouth. He chuckled and pulled away smirking at me. "From a kiss to that?"

My face fell. Maybe he didn't... after last night. Was that... a one night stand? He noticed my reaction and moved closer kissing my nose. "I want to Bella, and I'm definitely _ready_ to. I just didn't think you'd be up to it after going all night."

I felt my cheeks fire up and I bit my lip. "Is it bad that I am?" I'd never been this sex-crazed before, but Edward and the way he touched me, the way he smelled, the way he _felt_ inside me was driving me insane. He kissed me quickly and laughed to himself. "Bella, you wanting me inside you will never be a _bad_ thing."

I turned my lips up in a half-smile as he pulled me even closer. My abdomen pushed against his erection and he groaned. "Fuck, Bella.."

"What?" I whispered in his ear as my mouth nipped its way down his neck.

His body twisted as he reached for a condom on the nightstand and I heard him rip it open with his teeth. "It's like my body fucking wants you all the time." My hand slid down between us and wrapped around his dick, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Ungh..." he breathed out. I smirked into his skin and began pumping in slow, hard strokes.

"Fuck..." he gasped, tilting his head back against the pillow. I collected his precum in a tiny pool and massaged it up and down his length. His breathing had picked up and his hips thrusted into my hand. My other hand reached up and took the condom from his grasp, fumbling a little as I slid it onto him.

He turned to roll me onto my back but I pushed against his shoulders. "You gave me a ride last night. Now it's my turn," I whispered into his ear. "Fuck.. god yes baby." He let out in a single woosh of breath. I moved to straddle him between my legs with his cock still in my hand. I slid his tip up and down my slit and we both moaned at the contact.

"Fuck Bella, you're so wet and I haven't even done anything yet."

"This is just what you do to me. You and _only_ you..." I murmured more to myself than him. His hands reached up and grabbed my hips, his eyes raking over my body. "Christ, if it's possible you're even more beautiful in the morning sun."

I bit my lip, smiling as I ran a hand through my hair and slowly slid myself down onto him. "Unghhhhhhh..." we sighed in unison as I began moving up and down on him slowly. I started circling my hips as I moved on him and his hands began to run up and down my sides, holding me tightly.

"You feel so fucking good... you look perfect riding my cock Bella."

I didn't say anything but I picked up the pace a little, my breasts starting to bounce at the added speed. His hips bucked up to meet my thrusts and he was hitting spots in me I didn't know existed. "Edward! Edward! Fuck! OH GOD!" I screamed as I slamed onto him and he pounded into me.

His breath was ragged as he spoke, "Fuck, yes God Bella... mmm. SHIT! I'm so close, I can't wait to spill into your warm tight pussy." One of his hands slid around my body and his thumb began to furiously rub against my clit.

My head flew back at the added sensation and I moaned over and over again. It all felt too good.. "Edward, shit... fuck I'm going to..."

"That's it baby, cum for me. Cum all over my throbbing dick!" He commanded.

And I did. Wave after wave my orgasm washed over me. His hands clamped down on my hips tightly as he thrusted into me a few more times. My orgasm was just settling down when he thrusted one last time hitting my sweet spot so hard I came undone all over again as his body went completely still as he went over the edge.

After the orgasmic fog lifted I rolled off, laying on the cool sheets beside him. We were both trying to catch our breath, but he sat up and swung his legs over the bed, taking off the condom and throwing it into the box of condoms where the other used ones had been disposed of the night before. His body shook as he laughed a little and reached for the remaining unused condoms. Out of a brand new box of 12 there were 4 left. I sat up watching as he stood up, holding the box of used condoms and walked around the bed towards the door to the master bath that was connected to my bedroom. "I'm just gonna.." he said pointing towards the bathroom. I nodded and flopped my head back down onto the pillow.

I'd never had an orgasm from sex before, and in the last 12 hours I'd had _nine _including that photo finish double orgasm. Holy shit, Edward was going to be the death of me.

**EPOV**

This was all going a lot better than I expected. I flicked the shower on and looked at myself at the mirror. I knew that sleeping with Bella was wrong, and really I'd only done it to get back at Tanya. But that was just the first time. Every time after that, it was all about being buried in Bella. And James must have been fucking some other Bella, because shit. She really knew how to work my jock. Fuck, I was starting to get hard just thinking about it. I stepped under the spray and shut my eyes as the warm water hit me. I didn't feel guilty about this; not about any of it. Something about being with Bella made everything fall indescribably into place, and it was almost as though she and I were meant to be together; meant to fit together.

The one thing I knew was that I wanted to see Bella again. I needed to. Just the thought of not being able to made my stomach twist uncomfortably. I didn't want our shit to go down like that. I wanted to... fuck. I _wanted_ to be with her.

But you know what? I didn't regret it. I couldn't find it in myself to... deny Bella.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and leaned over the sink studying my reflection. I was cheating on my fiancée. This was the face of a man who cheats. My mother had raised me better than this; to respect women, but here I was cheating on a woman I was supposed to be in love with. But was I? Was I really in love with Tanya? I wasn't sure anymore. I willingly went after Bella, and instead of leaving her after the first time, I spent the night wrapped up in her arms and inhaling her scent. I really, really wanted to be here. I wanted to do this. I didn't want to think about the repercussions or any of it. I sighed just as there was a knock at the door. I didn't say anything before Bella was there, naked in the door frame.

"I was getting worried about you." She said, smiling up at me. "Are you okay?"

I smiled over at her, "Yeah, I'm fine." I straightened myself out and pulled her into my arms, burying my face in her shoulder. "You smell good." I mumbled.

She laughed, tangling her fingers in my hair. "I smell like stale sex and Edward."

I inhaled and sucked on her skin. "It's the best."

"Mmmmm." She started to sway, and I pushed her up against the counter top. "Edward..."

I loved it when she moaned my name. Those sounds went straight to my dick, and I fucking needed her to fix it. We'd been having fun fixing shit like that. I slid my hands down her body and lifted her up onto the counter, kissing her lips roughly. I pressed my hard on into her center, and she moaned again, tugging a little bit harder at my hair. I wanted more of this. I wanted to make her feel good. I pulled my lips from hers, and kissed my way down her body, making a quick stop at her breasts before continuing south. I was so, so happy she didn't put on any clothes. I spread her legs a little bit wider and knelt down. I looked up at her and I almost died right then. Her chest was heaving with every breath and her eyes were half closed and hooded with lust. Fuck. I leaned in and kissed a path up the inside of her thighs until I reached her center.

"Fuck, Edward." She said, gently guiding my face to her dripping cunt. I parted her lips and licked all the way up from her entrance to her clit. She bucked down into my face and squeezed a chunk of hair in her hands. "Shit..."

I sucked her clit into my mouth as I pushed two fingers into her, curving them a little as I moved. I felt a new rush of fluid come out of her, and I groaned into her.

"Shit, Edward... so fucking good..."

I wanted more; I needed more. I needed her to cum. I pushed harder and harder, sucking on her more fervently as I felt her begin to tremble at my touch.

"Edward... Edward... close... cum.... please..." I grinned into her and hummed. I was fucking her beyond resonable thought processes. I loved it. I curved my fingers and pressed down into her sweet spot as my tongue moved quickly and precisely over her clit.

"EDWARD!!!!" She screamed, bucking into my mouth and holding my head in place as she came on my hand. She was so fucking perfect when she came. I stayed in place until the hand in my hair relaxed, and then I made my way back up her body.

"You are so fucking sexy when you cum for me." I said, just before pressing my lips gently to hers. I broke away first dropping my head to her shoulder as she ran her hands lazily up and down my back.

"Do you want to shower with me?" She whispered in my ear.

I shook my head, and pressed a kiss into her shoulder. "I'll wait for you outside."

I backed off and she hopped off of the counter. "You... you'll still be here, right? When I get out, you'll still be here?"

I smiled softly at her, and kissed her forehead. "I'll be here. Don't worry."

She nodded and gave me the biggest smile I'd ever seen before I disappeared through the door. I flopped down onto her bed, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands.

She was definitely going to kill me.

**BPOV**

What the fuck was I doing? Edward was engaged. _Engaged_, I repeated in my head. And I was in love with James, or at least that's what I kept telling myself. Truth was, I was feeling things for Edward after knowing him one day, that I'd never felt with James - at least physically. Maybe Edward and I were just more sexually compatible. Yeah, that was probably it, nothing else, nothing more. James and I had history and history beats sexual compatibility every time, right? Right.

I stepped out of the shower, firm in my decision: I had to stop this, whatever _this_ was with Edward. James and I were happy and together. Edward and Tanya were about to be married. This wouldn't end well otherwise; it would be better to part as friends than have it end in flames, right? I stared at my reflection in the mirror and nodded in agreement with myself.

The minute I opened the door all of whatever the fuck I had just told myself went right out the window. Edward was sitting on the edge of my bed full dressed except for his shirt, and scrolling through his blackberry. His eye shot up and he smiled in my direction. "Squeaky clean?" He teased. Taking a deep breath, I nodded and walked over to him.

"You work weekends?"

"Sometimes. Depends on when they need me."

"Gotcha." I said, standing in front of him. He looked up from his phone and smiled, running a hand under my towel up and down my thigh. I bit my lip sighing. "I don't know how to do this."

His brows furrowed. "Do what exactly?"

"_This_. I mean, unless this was a one night thing..." crap I hadn't even thought of if this was only a one night thing. Shit, fuck.

His face fell. "I wouldn't want that. I... I want to see you again. But only if that's what you wanted."

"Isn't this going to get complicated Edward? I mean, I barely have time to see my current boyfriend; I definitely don't have time for the drama this could cause in both our lives. And what about you? You're some sort of artist right? I heard you tell Tanya you were staying at the studio, last night. You've got to be busy, plus with planning the wed--"

"We're engaged, Bella, but that doesn't mean we're planning a wedding. When I proposed to Tanya, it was more my sister telling me that it was about time. I guess, back then we were in love, but I would have been perfectly happy to keep going the way that we were. As far as being busy... it comes and goes. I'm a photographer, so I make my own schedule and I know that I could make time for this... for us. But I won't force myself on you. I could never ask you do something that you don't want to do."

I smiled and pressed my lips to his, whispering "I want this."

**EPOV**

She was making my heart do cart wheels in my chest. I didn't understand it. One minute she was telling me that we couldn't do this, and the next we were making out on her bed. I pinned her underneathe me and broke away.

"You're sure?" I asked, panting against her skin.

She nodded. "Yea, we'll... we'll make it work." She said with a laugh. "I think my body may revolt if it doesn't get to feel you after today."

I smiled down at her and smoothed the hair back from her forehead. "We can't have that now, can we?"

She grinned up at me and shook her head. She was too beautiful for her own good. I pressed my lips to hers tenderly again, "Bella, I should go."

She sighed and ran her hands up and down my sides. "I know."

I sat up and pulled my shirt back on, then picked up my phone. "Listen, put your number in." I said, tossing her my phone. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and glanced back from me to my phone.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean what if--"

"Hey, hey" I said, putting my hands on either side of her and leaning in. "None of that. I want to be able to call you whenever I need you. I don't think I could stand it... not being able to hear your voice."

Fuck, where the hell was this shit coming from? My mind was screaming at me; telling me to back the fuck up and go home to my FIANCEE. But my heart (and, let's face it, my cock) was telling me to stay here; that this was where I belonged. And the scariest bit? I wanted to be here. I wanted to stay with Bella. I kissed her one more time as she giggled then entered her number.

She passed it back to me with a smile. "So..."

"I'll call you during the week. We can get lunch or something?"

"Lunch sounds good."

I smiled again, and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." She called as I walked out the door. My arm flew to my chest and I had to take a deep breath. Something was wrong... this... this didn't feel right. I swung a quick right and hurried over to the hospital where my mother was the chief of staff. I parked, then rushed through the doors.

"Good Morning, Edward!" What'sherface the receptionist called. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled at me, but I wasn't in the mood. "Can you page my mother? I need to see her immediately."

Her brow furrowed as she took in my frazzled expression. "Is everything--"

"Please!" I said forcefully, "Please just page her!"

"There's no need Andrea." My mother said. "Edward, sweetheart? What's wrong?"

I stumbled over to her, panting slightly. "Mom... mom... it's my... chest. I can't... it feels like I can't breath."

Her eyes were closed of to me, and I could tell she was trying to focus on my problem and not the fact that I was her son. "Come this way, sweetheart. We'll get you fixed up."

After taking my pulse, checking my lungs, hooking me up to an oxygen mask and giving me an EKG, my mother said I was fine.

"It could have just been a panic attack, Honey. Or anxiety. Is everything okay with you and Tanya?"

My shoulders slumped when I thought about it. My mother didn't even know we were in therapy, and I don't think she would like it if I told her that I'd just started sleeping with someone else.

"I... I don't know anymore." I couldn't bring myself to say that things were fine. I had no idea what was happening now. I didn't know if I would be going home to an empty house, or if Tanya would be throwing her engagement ring in my face and telling me she was leaving.

My mother put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. "Honey, I'm sure whatever it is, you two will work it out."

I nodded slowly when something occurred to me: what if I didn't want it to work out?

**BPOV**

I spent the rest of the afternoon on cloud 12, and really the feeling went into the early evening when James' name flashed on my cell phone. Ugh. Was it terrible that I wished it was Edward instead? Probab-fucking-ly.

"Hey." I said, snapping my phone open.

"Hey Babe. Are we still on for tonight?"

"Um..." I racked my brain trying to remember what the fuck we had plans to do.

"You forgot didn't you?" He said teasingly

"Well, yeah... kinda." I admitted sheepishly.

"The date."

"What date?"

"The doctor's ordered one, Bella."

My face reddened. "That was _last_ night." I spat into the phone.

"Shit... really?" He asked completely surprised.

"Yea James. And you'd know that if you ever checked your messages because I called you twice to remind you!" He was re-fucking-dicious sometimes.

"Well, let me take you out tonight to make up for my fuck up then."

I sighed heavily. "Fine, yeah, okay. See you in an hour?"

"Actually..." he began. "I'm out front now."

Of fucking course he would be. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. "I'll be out in 10."

Every part of me wanted to text Edward and ask him to save me from dealing with James tonight, but that was pointless. For one, I shouldn't be doing that to James no matter how irritated I was at him. For two, I didn't have Edward's phone number. And for a third great fucking reason... I wasn't Edward's to save.

**EPOV**

After taking a shower at the hospital, I drove home in a funk. Part of me just wanted to break it off with Tanya because she'd hurt me. But then again, wouldn't that mean that I'd just wasted the last seven years of my life? But... But... fuck there were too many but's. And then on top of it all, there was Bella to think about. I didn't want to hurt her, but then again that's what would happen. As much as I liked spending time with Bella, and as much as it sucked, I knew that she and I couldn't ever be together. I belonged with Tanya, and she belonged with James. That was just the way of it. As good as it felt to be with her, I knew that it would fade. Maybe that would make it easier to walk away.

I pulled into my drive way, and sighed. She was home, as I had expected, but that didn't mean that I was rushing in to her. I went up the walk slowly, then pushed open the door.

"Tanya?" I called.

"In here, Baby!"

I went slowly into the kitchen where she was sitting at the table, her paper work spread out. She smiled up at me when I came into view. "Hey. How was work?"

I sighed and leaned up against the counter. "Fine. It went... well."

"Good. Hey, listen, I was thinking we could order in and watch a movie?"

"kay." I wasn't into this. At all.

"You okay?" Tanya asked, getting up and coming over to me. I nodded and she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing the spot just below my ear. "You're so quiet."

"Yeah... I'm fine... I'm just tired, I think." I put my arms around her and pushed my face into her hair. She smelled like old lady perfume, and I never noticed how boney she was before. She didn't feel like-- No. We couldn't go there.

"Well, go lie down and I'll call, okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good." I said, planting a kiss in her hair and going upstairs. But I paused when I got to our bedroom door.

"Oh, Baby, I forgot to tell you... I had to wash the sheets. Try the guest room."

All of a sudden images of Tanya and James in our bed flooded my mind, and I just had to get out of there. I couldn't be here... I wasn't ready. I bolted back down the stairs, where she had just lifted the reciever.

"Don't bother. Rosalie just texted, she needs my help with something."

Tanya furrowed her brow and looked at me. "But, Edward, I haven't seen you in almost a day. What about our movie?"

"I... Tanya, I'm sorry. I'll take you out tomorrow night. We'll get dinner. Whatever you want." I leaned in as I kissed her cheek and grabbed my keys off the counter.

"But you'll be home tonight, right?"

"Yeah, Babe." I called as I walked out the door. "I'll see you later."

Shit.

What the fuck was I doing?

**BPOV**

James and I had a quiet dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant near my apartment. We talked about our upcoming weeks and James mentioned switching shifts.

"Yeah I think they're going to put me on the 4/3 instead of these fucking grave shifts. It should be good, I'll be around 3 full days on your schedule so we'll have more time together." He said grabbing my hand on the table. Images of how I'd done the exact same to Edward the night before flashed in my head and I recoiled my hand.

His brows knit together. "Everything okay babe? I thought the news would make you happy. We'll have a more steady schedule. That's good, right?"

I smiled faintly and nodded. "Of course that's a good thing. It'll be great to see you more. I've missed you." But had I? Had I _really_?

He grinned and slid his credit card out of the billfold and shoved it back in his wallet. "You ready?" He asked rhetorically as he stood up.

"Oh, yeah.. sure." I said jumping up to follow his lead.

He grabbed his hand in mine and guided me out of the restaurant. In comparison to Edward's, James' hand was rough and dry. He squeezed too hard and instead of walking with me, it was more like he was pulling me along.

You are NOT with Edward, I repeated in my head. You HAVE TO stop comparing them. That's like comparing a vacation in Fiji with a can of tuna. They are incomparable; one of these things is kinda _not_ like the other. Sigh.

No fucking kidding.

We got to my apartment door and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. "I really am sorry about last night babe. If I would have remembered, I swear I woulda been there." He cooed kissing down my neck.

My stomach was doing flip flops - and not the good kind - at the feel of his lips. Maybe Edward had ruined me for any other man because my mind once again went to compare the two. And once again Edward was Fiji and a can of tuna was trying to give me a hickey.

"Well that seems to be the common problem right?" I asked pulling away a bit to look at him.

"What does?"

"You not being dependable and being where I need you to be."

"Bella, christ!" He said, frustratedly. "I SAID I was sorry! What more do you want?" He took a step back, releasing me completely from his arms.

"What do I _want_ James? What do I _want_? I think that's the first time you've bothered to ask me that in FIVE years!" It didn't slip my mind that it was the first time I had bothered to ask _myself_ that question in just as long.

He rolled his eyes and looked at me as if wanting an answer _that_ minute. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well what fucking more can I do? I agreed to go to therapy, I even found us a guy! I'm TRYING Bella, but you need to give a little too. If I have to do all these things for you, you need to give a little!"

"Oh, okay, so all I have to do then... to be like YOU and GIVE like you is apologize the next morning when I don't put out?! That'll make up for it, right? Cuz that's all that you do! You keep the same pattern, you're NEVER there and you think all is fine and well because you say 'Bella I'm sorry' and... no, just NO!"

"What the fuck is your problem tonight? You said it was fine, after I apologized!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did, and then we talked about going to dinner."

"No, you blew it off and asked if you could take me to dinner. I agreed. I NEVER said it was fine. Last night was really fucking important to me, to US and if you can't even show up for dinner with your girlfriend on a Saturday night then why even have one!" I shouted, feeling like a weight was lifting from my shoulders.

"Because I love you, and just because I forget shit sometimes doesn't mean I don't." He said, his voice lowering to a normal level.

"Then you need to show it. You need to be there for me when I need you. I need to be able to depend on you. You can't say you love me but never be around me. We've been doing that too long. I won't date a ghost anymore." I said, defeatedly.

He took a few steps closer, and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I know baby, and I miss you too. This new schedule will fix everything." He kissed my lips softly and I sighed, but not out of happiness.

Would the new schedule also make him more dependable? That seemed like a lot to ask for from only a time difference.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

**Hey... so... smut fic... kinda fun, right kels?  
shh... the smut is a secret. peeps gotta search it out, duh.**

***giggles* oops.  
way to go. but seriously folks. bels here is a trooper.. a bagillion days of staying up POVing til 5am. that's some fucking dedication. AND she doesn't let me fade to black... even as a joke. So seriously, thank her.**

**Good Lord, kels... when are you gonna stop hounding me to sleep? :P  
Um, I dunno. Never? And I don't... I mean look it's like.. 5am there now.**

**Shhh... they don't have to know that. But they do need to know that Steph Meyer owns Twilight  
And that we love reviews.**

**Oh right... leave us some!**

**

* * *

  
**

**EPOV**

I came home late, only to have to hang my head and crawl into bed with my fiancée. I clutched her tight to my chest all through the night, trying to squish the feelings out of me and was still doing so this morning, as we woke up. It was one of those moments when I wished that my father was around to help me out. But after he'd left my mother, he moved to some random town in the middle of fucking no where. I pulled Tanya closer to me, and groaned. I didn't want to be like my father. That was the one thing I'd worked hard at. But now, here I was, teetering dangerously close to that.

"Baby, you okay?" Tanya said sleepily, pushing the hair off of my forehead.

"Yeah." I kissed her lips softly, as an unsolicited shot of kissing Bella entered my mind.

"Where do you want to get dinner tonight?" She asked, nuzzling into the crook of my neck.

"Where ever you want, love. It's your dinner."

"So it is," she laughed. "Then I'll pick you up after work."

"What about my car?"

She grabbed my ass, pulling me closer and sucking on my jaw. "I can drive you in."

_So much for trying to see Bella today._ Fuck. I had to stop thinking like that. Ever since I'd left her, she'd been clouding my mind. It wasn't good... it wasn't right. I was where I was supposed to be, but it felt all wrong. "Okay. That sounds good. Lemme just get cleaned up and we can go, okay?"

She kissed me again, and let me go. I went quickly through my shower/shave then went downstairs to rush through breakfast.

"Ready?" Tanya called. I could hear her putting on her shoes in the foyer and I met her out there. I knew I would be early to my studio, but it didn't really matter. I needed to figure my shit out and get back on track. If I was playing a game, I had to work on my plan.

After Tanya dropped me off, I spent my day developing shots from last week and trying to figure out how I was going to do this. Did I want Tanya to find out I was sleeping with Bella? Or would it be better if I walked in on her again? I didn't think that I could handle that. As much as I hated her for doing it, I couldn't bear to watch that again. But then what about Bella? Should I have told her that her boyfriend was sleeping with my fiancée? Probably. That would have been the right thing to do. But instead, I jumped on top of her and had the best sex of my life in the process. And as much as I wanted to, I didn't regret it. It was too good to regret. I texted Bella a few times monday afternoon to try and set something up, but she never responded. Maybe she was over it? I felt that searing pain in my chest again, and I had to push the thought out of my mind. Apparently it was too difficult for me to think about.

Seven came around quickly, and I was back in Tanya's car, speeding our way across town to her favorite restaurant. "I'm so glad we're doing this. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

I put my hand over hers and squeezed. "I know."

"Our session with the therapist is on Thursday. You won't forget, right?"

"No, no. I'll be there."

"Good. I really think we're getting somewhere, don't you?"

I quirked an eyebrow and looked out the window. "We're somewhere alright."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean."

I sighed a little and turned back to her. "Tanya, we've been engaged for two years now, and we haven't even begun to plan the wedding."

"So?"

"So don't you think that's a little strange?"

She adjusted her grip on the steering wheel. "Edward, what does it matter when we do it? We're going to be together forever. What difference does it make when we actually say I do?"

My stomach got a bit queasy at the thought of spending eternity with Tanya. "Well, I would just think that you'd want to do it. Get it over with."

"Well, gee Edward, when you put it like that--"

"That's not what I meant!" I said with a huff. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the head rest. "That's not what I meant. It's just that we've been doing this dance for so long... why shouldn't we make it official?"

She sighed and pulled into the parking lot. "Baby, it's only a piece of paper. What does it matter?"

"I guess it doesn't." I said, getting out of her car, then following into the restaurant.

I was completely defeated. But like Tanya said, what did it really matter? I would tow the line and do what I had to. That's what people were expecting, after all. And maybe if I didn't have to marry her, I'd never have to...

Well, if we didn't get married, what would be the point? Really, in thinking about it, we were no more engaged than we were six years ago. In fact, I think we were happier then. Maybe I could spend some time with Bella as a little bit of... stress relief. We could have fun together and escape real life, and then when it stopped being fun, we could stop. It would be easy, clean and simple.

A little simple was what I needed.

**BPOV  
**  
The week went by agonizing slow. It seemed like I spent more time checking to see if I'd received a call from Edward, than anything. On Monday, I'd received a few generic texts with "hi" and "hope ur ok" but nothing to confirm it was him. I thought that at least he would have made some reference to the past weekend in his message so I knew who it was. But not a peep from him.

I arrived at work on Wednesday morning and checked my cell phone for the hundredth time since I woke up. It was seriously bordering on obsessive, but I couldn't help it. Edward had consumed my mind; I'd had to consciously _not_ say his name the night before when James was jack hammering away and getting his.

Work dragged on and I was convinced the management was setting the clocks back to make us work 12 hour days instead of 8. A little after 10, I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through my text messages to the mystery number. Before I could rethink it, I replied:

**Week is dragging. How're the smurfs?**

I shut my phone and tried to focus back on my work, but I kept looking at my cell sitting on the desk out of the corner of my eye. Even though I'd been glancing at it, I jumped when I hear it rattle against the fake wood of the table. Reaching for it immediately, I flipped it open.

**Missing you, but fine otherwise. When can I see you?  
**  
The smile that spread over my face could probably be seen from space.

**I can take lunch at noon, if you're free.**

I hit send and took a deep breath. It was him... he or at least his smurfs, had missed me. I had missed him

**I'll be there. Can't wait to see you.**

If someone were to have asked me what I did at work after I'd sent him the address to my office, I wouldn't have been able to answer.

At a quarter to 12, I sent him another message telling him I'd meet him in the lobby. After a pit stop in the ladies room, I made my way down to the main floor. My eyes locked on him immediately and my mind went to the x-rated vision I had of the body that was currently clothed and standing in front of me.

"Hey." I said, tapping his shoulder.

He spun around, grinning broadly. "Hi. How was work?"

My heart was racing and I debated jumping him then and there. But instead I took a deep breath and smiled shyly. "Couldn't tell you. I've kinda been unable to think about anything except seeing you since this morning." I blushed as I heard the words tumble out of my mouth.

He leaned forward kissing my temple tenderly. "I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since I left on sunday."

I laughed a little and looked up at him. "Oh thank god, me either."

He chuckled a little and rested his forehead against mine. "You ready to go?"

I nodded against him. "Lead the way."

We walked down the street side by side. "I saw a hole in the wall Italian place on my way over. Is that okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "Mhm. That works."

He turned to look at me, and turned his lips up into a smirk and he reached for my hand as we turned the corner nearing the restaurant. I felt the familiar warmth spread up my arm and through my body. We neared the alley where the dumpsters for a few local restaurants sat at the end of the dead end road. I tugged on his arm and pulled him into it.

"Bella what-"

My lips attached to his without a moment of hesitation. After a second of what I assumed was shock, I felt his lips move against mine. One of his hands ran through my hair gripping the back of my head and pushing my mouth harder against his. His body rotated and mine followed as he pinned me against the brick wall. My tongue slid along his bottom lip and his mouth pulled it inside, sucking gently. He moaned as our tongues fought for dominance and his other hand wrapped around my waist pulling me flush against him. My hands wove through his hair and pulled. He groaned louder and pulled his lips from mine slowly, staring down at me.

**EPOV**

I smiled down at her, squeezing her tighter. "We should probably go in." I leaned in and kissed her again, slower this time.

"Yeah... yeah, you're right." She said, pulling away then leading me into the restaurant.

"Two, please." I said to the hostess. She raised an eyebrow as her eyes roamed over my body, and I had to choke back the vomit in my mouth. I was so confused though. I used to be the guy that could handle a ton of female attention and remain faithful, but here I was on a lunch date with my other girlfriend. What a failure I'd turned out to be. Bella slid into the booth first and I sat across from her. She snapped her menu up almost immediately. It was almost like she was... hiding from me?

I pulled down the top of her menu until her eyes met mine. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, just... isn't this part, I mean... isn't it a _little_ weird for you?"

I smiled a little at her. "Kind of. Should we... do you think we should take things slower?" I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. But I found myself willing to do whatever Bella wanted in the end.

She pulled her bottom lip back into her mouth and shook her head. "No, I mean... not unless you want to. But I don't..."

My smile got impossibly wider as I looked at her. "Then don't worry about it. Yeah, our situation's fucked up, but... you... you're worth it." Fuck, I sounded like such a fucking sleeze. It really sounded like I was just trying to get in her pants. But wait, wasn't I? I didn't know any more. Being with Bella made me remember what it was like to have fun with someone again, without worrying about consequences and due dates. I didn't owe her anything, nor she to me.

The waiter came and took our orders, and I couldn't help but notice the way her nose turned up when I ordered mushroom ravioli. "What?"

"Nothing. I just hate mushrooms."

I laughed a little. "Why?"

She shook her head and tapped her fingers on the table. "I don't want to tell you."

"No. C'mon. You have to tell me."

She laughed and looked up at me. "Well doesn't it freak you out that you're about to eat a fungus?"

I cocked my head to the side and looked at her. "I guess I never thought of it like that."

"Well, I mean... you wouldn't scrape the mold off of a loaf of bread and stick it in a pasta pillow, would you?"

"No, I suppose not." I was so, so confused.

"So then how come you find mushrooms on EVERYTHING? I mean, sandwiches, pasta, it's its own side dish even. It's insane how this fungus is taking over the world."

"Yeah... insane." I said, still looking at her. Honestly, though, the only insane thing that I saw was that this girl was wrapping me around her little finger. I wasn't running away from her odd confession, I was sitting across from her with bated breath for the next one. I'd never been through anything like this in my entire life.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry. I was rambling." She was chewing on her bottom lip and her eyebrows were pulled together in worry. I put my hand over hers on the table and ran my thumb across her skin.

"It's fine. I love knowing what you're thinking."

She smiled at me and started into another story, and by the time we were through with lunch, I found out that Bella hated the texture of velvet, didn't understand the concept of relative humidity, and that her guilty pleasure were Golden Girls re-runs.

I loved every single second of it. It was like everything she said pulled me closer and closer to her, and I found that to be the only thing I wanted. And that scared me more than anything.

**BPOV**

He was listening to me ramble and I tried shutting up, numerous times even, but he kept encouraging me. "You know you're going to be a terrible influence on me. You're going to make me think I have interesting things to say." I laughed as we walked back towards my office.

His forehead creased and he stopped to turn and look at me. "But you do; I don't know why you'd think anything different."

I laughed harder as I faced him. "Edward, having an irrational borderline insane fear of mushrooms is hardly interesting - unless it's being said to a shrink."

"Well, _I_ thought it was insightful." He said, a smile tugging on his lips as he began walking again.

We turned the corner and neared my building. My face fell as I realized this was the last time I'd probably see him for at least a few days; I didn't like that thought at fucking all. "So... when do I get to hear about your tv habits and crazy ideas?"

"This weekend maybe? I have to spend most of saturday at the studio, but I might be able to tear myself away." His face turned and he smirked down at me.

"No, no.. your work is important. You shouldn't leave work to spend time with me..." my voice trailed off as I stared down at the ground. I wait a beat before looking up at him again. "Um, I know this is kinda... weird, considering we just spent an hour together, but... what about tonight? James is working grave again. I could... I could make us dinner?"

"I'd love that."

I bit my lip trying to conceal the beaming smile that was spreading rapidly, but it was no use. "Okay, great.." I giggled. I was fucking _giggling_ what the fuck was that? "Um.. so I guess I'll see you tonight? How about, 7ish?"

"I'll be there."

I took a breath, trying to slow down my rapid heart beat and nodded. "Well I better get back. I'll see you tonight then," I finalized slowly walking back towards the doors.

**EPOV**

I watched her disappear into the elevator and I smiled to myself. I was completely in with this girl and I had no idea how it had happened. One minute I was in control, and the next I was wrapped up in a chocolate brown, strawberry scented blanket. I didn't want to be anywhere except there. Too bad I had an obligation to my fiancée. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out quickly.

"Hello?" I held my breath and hoped it was Bella.

"Hey, Baby, it's me." Tanya's voice was bored, and I knew what was coming.

"Hey," I said, letting out my puff of air.

"Listen, I have to work late tonight. I probably won't be home til... three or so?"

Yeah, she'll be working... working James' cock. "Mhm."

"So, Don't wait up for me. I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay, Tanya. I'll catch up with you tomorrow."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you too." I hung up the phone with a sigh, but then smiled at my luck. I could spend the night with Bella, and not worry about Tanya. I should just break up with her, huh? She was already seeing someone else and so was I. To go through with a wedding at this point... it seemed wrong. I couldn't bring children into the world with Tanya, and I definitely didn't see myself as happy with her. I sighed, and went into my building, which was conveniently located only five blocks from Bella's. Bella. Shit. What the hell would all of this do to her? I had to talk to Tanya... I had to figure shit out. I just... I knew I had to make this situation less fucked up.

By the time I was pulling into Bella's, I knew what I had to do, but since Tanya was 'working late' I couldn't talk to her until the morning. So for now, things would stay the same. But only for now. I knocked on Bella's door, and she threw it open with a flourish, smiling brightly at me. "Hi."

I grinned at her. "Let me in so I can greet you properly."

She stood to the side and let me in, and as soon as the door was shut, I scooped her up into my arms and kissed her. I groaned the second her lips touched mine, and it felt like it had been too long since I'd tasted her. I didn't know how I'd even made it the last three days without this. Her hands found their way into my hair and she pulled me closer to her. Fuck, I loved it when she did that. I wrapped her legs around my waist and stumbled back into her bedroom, tossing her down onto the bed.

"Fuck, Bella... " I said, as I watched her start to strip.

"Edward... Edward... c'mon..." she said as she lifted her shirt, leaving her in her plain white cotton bra. "Please, I need you in me."

Her hair was already tousled around her face, and her eyes were wide. I was panting at the sight of her. She was the sexiest thing in the world and she wanted me. I went to her, pulling off my tee shirt in the process as I pulled her into me. My mouth flew down her neck, nipping and sucking where it could before I found a spot just above her collar bone to leave my mark. She gasped and thrust her hands into my hair. "Fuck, Edward..." She moaned. I felt my cock get hard as her hands found their way to my pants and began undoing them, and not wanting for her to feel left out, I began to do the same to her. I pulled them down as far as I could without her help, so we separated and got rid of her pants. Once she was done, I jumped her... literally. I crashed down on top of her, smashing my lips to hers as my hands roamed across her smooth skin.

"Fuck, Bella, you have no idea how much I've been missing you." I whispered, just as her hands began moving south.

"Then show me."

**BPOV**

He was _right there_. It had been too fucking long and I need him inside me. My hands wrapped around to his ass and squeezed his cheeks. He looked down at me, and puffed out, "Condom?" I tilted my head to the left where the 4 remaining condom packs and a brand new box laid. He raised an eyebrow at the sight. "Planning on getting some tonight?"

"Not just some, _a lot_." I replied as he tore the pack open with his teeth. One of his hands reached up to to grab the condom, but my hand was quicker and grabbed his wrist. "Allow me..."

He audibly gulped and nodded, handing the condom over. My hand slid down between us and wrapped around his shaft. At the sudden contact he bucked into my hand. "Shit, Bella." His lips rammed against mine and his tongue shoved its way inside my mouth, dueling with mine. I slid the condom on and we adjusted so he was positioned right at my entrance. He tilted his head up slightly, effectively removing his lips from mine. "Is this okay, are you ready?" He asked as one arm brushed up and down the side of my body affectionately.

I moved his dick along my slit and let out a sigh. Fuck he felt good. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and let out a breath. "Fuck Bella, you're so wet."

"There's your answer. That'll always be my answer." I said kissing his temple as I felt him thrust into me in one hard motion. His lips swallowed my surprised yelp, and he began moving against me immediately. My hands trailed from his ass, scratching my finger tips up his back and finally finding their comfortable position in his hair as he pumped in and out of me.

"Shit Edward," I breathed against his lips.

"God, I know... it's like..." he swallowed in a heap of air before continuing. "It's like you're pussy was fucking made for me. You're so tight and warm... fuck Bella, you're perfect."

I moaned and bent my knees up further, my hands trailing back down to his ass to push him further inside me. He groaned and pushed hims mouth against mine roughly, gripping my hip as I ground them in time with his. He began picking up the pace and I could see sweat glistening from his forehead and arms.

"Move," I panted.

"What?"

"I want to ride you. I like the view of watching you cum better from there." I admitted.

He slid out of me and rolled onto his back. "I'm never going to tell you not to get on top of me Bella," he half panted-half laughed as I straddled his cock and sank down onto him. We both moaned at the new angle and we picked up the same fast tempo we'd had moments ago. His hands moved up my sides to my chest and he began palming my tits. "Fuck Bella, you have the most beautiful fucking body.." I hummed in appreciation and slammed down on his dick grinding into his pelvis as roughly as I could.

"Shit!" His hands dropped to my hips as his head flew back. He began thrusting wildly into me as I picked up my speed. "Shit. Fuck.. Oh God, Edward! Edward, fuck! Fuck!" I screamed as his hips bucked frantically against mine. The thumb on his left hand moved and he stuck it in his mouth lubricating it before pushing it against my clit and tracing frantic circles around it.

"That's it baby... Bella, I need you to cum for me. Milk my dick.. shiiiit." He growled with labored breath. "OH FUCK EDWARD! FUCK, OH GOD YES! EDWARD! EDWAAAARD!!" I moaned loudly feeling my walls clamp around his cock as the waves rolled through my body. He thrusted into me once more before spilling into the condom, in me. God, I wanted to feel him cum in me _without_ the condom. We both sat there for a minute, catching our breaths. I slid off him and stood on the floor beside the bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked sitting up and leaning against the headboard. I grabbed my bathrobe that was flung over my desk chair and wrapped it around myself.

"Hm? Oh. I wasn't kidding, I made you dinner. And you should eat something; we have a whole new box to get through before morning." I said with a wink as I pulled my hair up into a loose bun.

I turned to walk out the room, but his arms encircled my waist before I could get to the doorway.

"Now now, Bella. I think I have enough energy to make you cum at _least_ three more times before dinner is served." He whispered in my ear, nipping at my neck. I leaned my head back against his chest as he sucked on my pulse point.

Dinner could wait a little bit longer...

**EPOV**

Six fucks and eight orgasms later, Bella and I were sitting in bed with the TV on, twirling spaghetti on our forks and watching Law and Order re-runs on USA.

"What I don't get," Bella said, chewing thoughtfully. "Is why all of these crimes can be solved in an hour long span. I mean, that's not realistic."

I laughed a little, and twisted one of my legs with hers. "Well, love, they only have an hour long time slot."

"True," she said, jabbing the air with her fork. "But they could, like, make it a serial."

"Come again?"

"You know, like... umm, something like Desperate Housewives where each show plays into the next."

I shook my head, "But you'd get bored. A show like this needs to have different characters and constant drama."

She rolled her eyes at me, "Edward, have you _seen_ Heroes?"

I nodded and twirled more noodles around my fork. "Okay, fine point taken."

"Edward?"

"Bella?"

"What's your favorite Indiana Jones movie?"

"Hmm, Raiders, obviously."

"Good answer. Did you ever find it weird that the same guy who played Han Solo played Indy?"

I laughed a little and smiled at her. "No, not really. Why?"

She shrugged, looking down at her plate. "I dunno. I mean, those are two huge characters."

"Yeah, but Harrison Ford's pretty versatile. I think I could believe him in any part."

She smiled over at me, "Me too."

She was doing something to me, this girl. She was sucking me in and making me fall for her and need her. Honestly that was the last thing I needed to happen, but ironically, the first thing I wanted to happen.

"So how did you and James meet?" I asked.  
She swallowed her mouthful before answering. "The short answer is college. The longer one is he pretty much pursued me relentlessly everyday for months until I said yes." She paused for a second then looked at me. "What about you and Tanya?"

"Same, basically. She lived on my floor when we were sophomores. My brother set us up, actually. Do you have any siblings?"

"Mhm. An older brother, Emmett. Complete opposite of me - loud, well coordinated, big, blonde hair/blue eyes... people don't even guess that we're related." She laughed a little. "But we're pretty close. What about you, oh and what are your parents like?"

"Older Brother, Jasper and older sister, Rosalie. My dad split when I was twelve, so my mom raised us pretty much alone. You?"

"Mom's in Florida - remarried to a guy who plays pro baseball for Tampa Bay. Grew up with my dad, he's a cop in a town just outside Port Angeles. Least favorite vegetable both as a kid, and now?"

"Hmm, as a kid: cauliflower, but that was until I was introduced to collard greens. Favorite of Snow White's seven dwarfs?"

"Duh, the only logical and best answer... Sneezy. I mean imagine being the 'voice over' for him? All you'd do is go 'AH... AH... ACHOO!' over and over again. He definitely had the most profound effect on the story." She looked at me seriously before breaking out into a huge smile. "Favorite moment as an adult - to date?"

I really wanted to say meeting her. My heart was beating faster as I watched her smiling at me as though we hadn't a care in the world. I wanted to keep it that way. I wanted her to know that I wanted her. "Well, there was this girl I bumped into one time. I ended up having dinner with her."

"And..." she pushed.

I shrugged, letting my gaze meet hers. "I don't know. But I can't wait to see what happens."

She took my plate and hers and put them on the nightstand before straddling my waist. "First thought in your head right.... now!"

I laughed softly. "I want to kiss you."

She tilted her head to the side, pretending to mull it over. "Hm..." Her lips were hovering above mine. "I _guess_ that could be okay."

I leaned in a pressed my lips to hers; softly at first, but then getting harder and harder as she fisted her hands in my hair. Her tongue plundered into my mouth, and she began massaging mine, which in turn made me moan into her mouth. We kept at it for a few more minutes, until we had to pull away and catch our breath. I had my forehead to hers, my arms wrapped securely around her waist and as much as I wanted to stay with her, I knew I couldn't.

"Love, I should go."

She grumbled, and pulled me closer. "No."

I dropped my head to her shoulder and rocked her in my lap. "I'll see you this weekend, remember? It'll be here in no time."

"I thought I told you, I didn't want you blowing off work projects for me, Edward?"

I laughed and pressed my lips to her shoulder. "I won't. I promise. Just... come see me, please?"  
(nods against him, running fingers through his hair) "Okay, I'll be there. Just let me know when; I don't want to disturb a genius at work" (smiles)

I lifted my head and looked at her. "As soon as you can be there, I want you."

She smiled back at me, and brushed her lips against mine. "Okay. I'll call you."

I planted one last kiss on her forehead before we disentangled, and I got dressed. I leaned back over her, half asleep and naked in her bed. "I'll see you later, Love. And please; don't make me wait a whole three days before I hear your voice again."

She smiled and ran her hand down my face. "You won't."

I moved my head to kiss her palm, then leaned down to kiss her. "I'll see you this weekend."

"Bye," she murmured as she rolled over and curled up. I would have given anything to have her curled up around me. Once I got to my car, reality set in, and I knew I couldn't avoid my reality any longer. I was falling for Bella Swan. As much as I didn't want to, and as much as I resisted, it didn't change the fact that I craved her; her presence, her voice, even her smell. I wanted it all. I didn't know what I would do if I couldn't have it.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

**Well hello all you potential reviewers! This is the mighty chapter four... gonna be one hell of a lemony ride, huh kels?**

**Def. But who doesn't like to ride the lemoncoaster? Hahah... pun... get it.. lemon... riding...**

**Ohhhhh Kella... Good thing SMeyer (who owns this) doesn't know about us. She might get mad**

**Maybe. Or maybe she'd cheer us on for having the ballsacs to do what she couldn't because of the demographic she was writing for. But hey reviews are kinda awesome, yea?**

**Kella, reviews are better than a Golden Girls marathon on lifetime... or WEtv, as it were :P**

**

* * *

BPOV**

The next morning I woke up and stretched. God I was sore, but good sore. The kind of sore that comes from a night with a sex fucking god. I went through my morning routine slowly as my body adjusted to moving around with the dull ache. I wasn't sure if it was just from the sex, or from missing Edward.

God I missed Edward. I glanced down at my cell phone, 7:23... too early to call, he was probably still in bed with Tanya. This was getting complicated, just like I had hoped it wouldn't. I was developing feelings for Edward; and come on.. waking up missing him after just seeing him less than 12 hours ago but not missing James whom I hadn't seen in days, just as much? That wasn't right; it wasn't fair to Edward, James or Tanya.

I headed to work trying to push Edward as far out of my mind as possible. I had to end this before I couldn't walk away. The truth was, I was scared it was too late for that.

The ringing of my phone snapped me back to reality as I sat in morning traffic.

"Hello?" I asked, not looking at the caller ID

"Hey Babe." James' voice echoed through the phone.

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"Not much, just missed you. Wanted to apologize again for the other night."

"Oh, yeah. Me too, it's fine. I just overreacted I guess."

"Yeah, a little." He replied offhandedly.

I rolled my eyes, brushing it off. "So how's work? Did you find out when the new schedule goes into effect?"

"Mhm. It starts this weekend, so I won't be around from tomorrow til Monday night - so really Tuesday. But then we have Tuesday to Thursday together."

"So will I see you before then?"

"Um, Bells? It's Thursday, I'll see you tonight at Dr. Carlisle's right?"

I couldn't help but laugh. James actually remembered; not only that but he was reminding _me_. "Yeah, tonight at 6:30."

He was chuckling a little too and his voice was soft as he spoke. "See Bells, I'm trying."

"I know, I see that."

"And I was thinking, maybe we could do a real re-do of my Saturday night fuck-up date, tonight. If you're around?"

"James, I'm _always_ around. You know me."

"Yeah, I just didn't want to assume. Maybe you had plans with Angela or something."

I smiled. There were times when James was a decent guy, this was why I loved him. "Nope, I'm all yours."

"I love hearing you say that." He replied. "But listen Bells, I gotta get some sleep so I'm up in time for our thing tonight. I'll meet you there, yea?"

"Okay, sounds good. See you at 6:30?"

"Uh-huh. I love you Bells."

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone just as I was pulling into the office parking garage. I had to stop this thing with Edward. James was a good guy, he was trying. And I'm sure Tanya was a lovely woman. Neither one deserved what we were doing.

Through my morning staff meeting, I debated texting Edward and just ending it. I thought about calling him and telling him over the phone. I ran through every scenario, but not one involved me communicating with him and sticking to my guns. I was wrapped up in him and if he asked me not to go, I wouldn't.

I was discussing product launch ideas with my coworker Becca after our staff meeting when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out - Edward. "Becca, sorry - just one sec." I said holding up a finger.

"Sure no prob. I'm going to go put some of these ideas on paper, just swing by later today and we can narrow down the ones to pitch to the management team."

"Sounds good."

She turned and walked back towards her office and I flipped open my phone.

**My afternoon just cleared up, are you free for lunch?**

As much as I wanted to say no, to stick with the idea I'd had this morning of slowly letting this go, Edward was an addiction.

**Sure, I'll meet you at your studio around noon?**

He replied back with a confirmation and his address. What the hell was I doing? I was going to wreck everything with James, and Edward and I were going to ruin everything for all of us.

I had the mental tug of war argument playing in my head the entire walk to his studio and nothing became any clearer. What felt right was actually wrong, and what felt wrong was still the right thing to do.

I took the freight elevator up to the 5th floor and looked at which of the 2 doors were his. Well, if that wasn't a metaphor for everything going on...

His studio turned out to be the one on the left and I knocked on the solid steel door, before I could talk myself out of it. The door swung open and he pulled me in by the wrist, slamming the door closed and shoving me against the wall beside it. His hands cupped my face and his lips attacked mine before I could speak. My tongue slid between his lips and he moaned into my mouth. I let out a whimper as his hands moved from my face, around to my back and under my shirt. They splayed across my skin and I felt the familiar warmth that I had grown to crave, spread through me. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him even closer to me and he groaned into my mouth. My mind kept asking the same question over and over again as our tongues swirled around each others', "how can this be wrong, when it feels so fucking perfect?"

He let out a big exhale through his nose and pulled away, panting. He rubbed his nose against mine playfully and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "I missed you."

"Couldn't tell." I replied, grinning.

His forehead rested against mine as he laughed quietly. "Yeah, sorry about that."

I shook my head. "Don't _ever_ be sorry for doing what you just did. I loved every minute of it."

His lips turned up into a smile before pressing against mine again, a little less frenzied.

We stayed kissing against the wall for a bit before my stomach grumbled and ruined the moment. He laughed against my lips. "Guess that's my hint to feed you?" I nodded, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth and sucking lightly. "Mhm."

"Good thing I ordered practically every item on the menu from the Chinese place down the street then." He said, pulling away and taking my hand in his. We walked through the wide open space towards a squared off area that housed a leather sofa, plasma TV and coffee table.

"Welcome to my studio within a studio." He said fanning his arm in front of the area.

"Very nice. And the rest? Do I get a full tour?"

He kissed my temple. "Soon. We should eat first, before your stomach decides to pull an _Aliens_ and pop a gremlin out." I laughed a little and walked around to the sofa, kicking off my shoes and grabbing an unidentified container from the table. He followed behind, sitting on the sofa square on the other side of the couch, leaving the middle square as a makeshift table. He handed me a pair of chopstick and I dug in.

"Mmmm..." I said closing my eyes. I heard him laugh. "What, did you not have breakfast?"

I opened my eyes and waited til I had swallowed before answer. "Nope. I'm not a breakfast person. I don't get hungry til 11, but that's not really breakfast or lunch - unless it's Sunday. So by noon I'm usually starving."

"So Sundays are perfect for you then; with brunch and all."

"Yep. Sundays are my favorite eating days." I said lifting up another bit of the chicken in the container.

He puffed out a laugh. "Favorite eating day?"

"Mhm. You know how restaurants have like, specials based on the day of the week? Well, based on my _extensive _research, Sundays typically have the best options. Plus the whole, Sunday brunch thing which is just, the best fucking meal ever."

"You do realize you can have brunch on other days, right?" He teased, grinning at me as he shoveled some noodles into his mouth.

"Yeah, but it's like a fake brunch. Brunches are for Sundays." I said adamantly. His body shook with laughter. "Fair enough."

"So what about you? Favorite meal?"

"Do you mean, breakfast lunch or dinner or a specific entree?"

I shrugged. "Let's go with both."

"I'm a big fan of breakfast. But I cook the best dinners - I think I'm just better at cooking heartier things. But I love lasagna, even though it's not breakfast food. I could probably eat it every meal every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it."

I laughed a little at his enthusiasm. "So if you're so good at cooking dinner. Why did I cook last night?"

"Because you offered." He grinned.

"Oh, right." I said, blushing a little.

"But I'd love to cook for you sometime. We could do it here." He pointed to the left, and sure enough the wall of of floor to ceiling windows led to a full kitchen.

"This place is great..." I said, looking around in awe of the size and decor of the place. "Why didn't you and Tanya just move in here?"

He chewed on more noodles and held up his chopsticks asking me to wait. "Because," he said swallowing the last bit in his mouth, "she doesn't like lofts like this. She says they're too industrial and unsuitable to live in. So while it's huge and far bigger than our house right now, she'd rather live somewhere less noisy, and more warm."

"I think you could make this place a warm home..." I replied, still looking around at all the detail.

"Yeah well, maybe for another couple. Tanya doesn't want to, so we won't. It's not a big enough deal for me argue with her about; if she's happy, I'm happy."

My heart tightened at his words, but I let out a slow exhale to relieve the pressure.

"These noodles are really good. You should try some before I eat it all." He said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had permeated in the air. He pulled some through his chopsticks, holding it up for me. I smiled and put my container on the coffee table, before moving to sit closer to him. He dropped the noodled into my mouth and I worked to get them all in. I held my hand out near my chin to catch any stray pieces and laughed along with him at my attempt to get the noodles into my mouth without making a big mess.

I chewed them, nodding my head back and forth.

"Well?" He asked, once I had swallowed them.

"Not bad."

"Not bad? They're fantastic!" He exclaimed. At his once again, completely out there enthusiasm, I lost it. I started laughing and couldn't stop. He laughed too, shaking his head. "Really, you just... you're not understanding. Here try some more." He said pulling out another couple of strands. I slid my mouth around the noodles again but just as I had grabbed them all in my mouth he pressed his lips against mine. We proceeded to do this weird, but not all together unpleasant, kissing/chewing motion, while we both giggled through it.

"And now?" He said pulling away, grinning from ear to ear.

I pretended to think about it, and tapped my finger against my chin. "Definitely better the second time."

We continued to talk about the most inane things. I found out that Edward had a puppy named Wednesday growing up because his brother Jasper was in love with the Adams Family. He also ran track through high school and college, and he had planned to go to Med School and follow his mom's footsteps but photography called to him the end of his junior year of college and he threw away a year's worth of classes to change majors. Oh and his TV guilty pleasure? Walker, Texas Ranger reruns.

I glanced down at my cell phone and realized it was nearing 1. "Well, I should head back..." I said looking over at him.

"Yeah, I should get back too. The more stuff I get done between now and the weekend, the more time we'll have Saturday."

I stood up, sliding back into my shoes. "Edward, I told you; if you have a project to work on we can always meet up later."

He stood and moved towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Bella, I told _you_ that I want to see you Saturday. I'll get everything taken care of. Just, stop by, okay?" His lips brushed my forehead and the tip of my nose as he repeated, "okay?"

"Okay," I whispered pressing my lips against his softly.

We kissed a little longer before I reluctantly pulled away. His hand quickly found mine and he walked me over to the door.

"Can I call you later?" He asked as he opened the door for me.

"Well, we have therapy - I mean, James and I." I blushed at my obvious statement. "And after... he wants to try and make up for missing Saturday night."

"Oh, yeah. Okay." He said, his voice almost robotic.

"But I'll call you tomorrow?"

He pressed his lips against mine again, and sighed. "Yea, tomorrow."

**EPOV**

I closed the door behind her, and smiled to myself, touching my fingers to my lips. But then I realized that she would have her lips on him tonight. She might even sleep with him tonight. I got this weird rumbling growling thing in my gut when I thought of them together, and her acting the way she did when we were together with him. But wait, what right did I have to her feelings and what she did with the man she was supposed to be in love with? None. None at all.

This all started as revenge, but now Bella was like... she was like a friend. Who I happened to fuck and make out with. Shit...

She was starting to grow on me. The way she looked and smelled and tasted; it was everything that I had been missing with Tanya, and that scared me more than anything. I used to want that with Tanya. A spark, an attraction, or even just a fucking hug. But I didn't get any of that from her; not anymore. I fell asleep every night in a cold bed, despite the warm body beside me.

A few hours later, Tanya and I were in Dr. Carlisle's office. Arguing. What else is new?

I rubbed my forehead with my hand. She just didn't fucking listen to me. Ever. "Tanya, maybe it'd want to sleep with you if I actually felt like I _meant_ something to you."

"Edward how can you say that! I've devoted 7 of my best years to you!"

I sighed, and looked at her. "Devoted? Please, you devoted three quarters of those years to your job! You're never home on time anymore, you never return my calls. Fuck, I'm not your housewife!"

"I love my job Edward. I love you. I don't get why you're trying to be all caveman and say that my job isn't important!"

I groaned and fell back into my seat. "That's NOT what I'm saying! I'm trying to tell you that _I_ should be just as important to you as your job is. I put everything on hold for you when you ask me, but if I want to see you during daylight hours during the week, I have to make an appointment with your fucking secretary!"

"Hmm," Dr. Carlisle said, "Let's explor--" Too late. Tanya interrupted.

"I have a REAL job Edward. Adults, you know what those are? The people that you hire yourself out to - yeah they have REAL jobs. With meetings during the day and secretaries to keep them from being overbooked! It's not my fault you didn't go to med school! You'd know what I was talking about if you had."

I actually growled at her. That was a low blow and she knew it. "I _have_ a real job; a job that I love doing. Once upon a time, you didn't seem to mind it, either. Does it really bother you that much that I didn't go? Because I seem to recall a conversation where YOU TALKED ME OUT OF IT! YOU told me I was doing the right thing by NOT going!

Dr. Carlisle shifted in his chair and looked between us as Tanya fumed. I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of her ears.

"It was cool when we were 20 and 21 Edward. Dating the 'artist' was fucking sexy. I just thought you'd fucking grow up by now and realize that it's a fucking hobby and not a career!"

"What the fuck do you want from me?" I said sadly. "It's not like I'm mooching off of you, or I need your paycheck to survive. So tell me what the fuck you want."

"Wants and needs are often--" The good doctor wasn't getting a word in edgewise today.

"What I _want_, Edward?! What I WANT! I WANT to not have to skirt around the issue when my colleagues and friends ask what my fiance does for a living! I WANT to be able to say that my boyfriend has a CAREER and not a 'gig'! I WANT you to better yourself because I know that you could be SO much more." She took a deep breath, and calmed down slightly, before turning to me and saying sadly, "Baby, you could be so much better than this. Do so much more.."

"But what if I don't want that? What if I like what I do? What if it makes me happy? Can't that work for you, too?" I didn't understand how one person could change so drastically in front of my eyes-- and I didn't even notice.

"But you haven't even tried anything else. How do you know you wouldn't be happier with a regular job?"

I scoffed, "Like what?"

"Like anything!" She yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "Like a fucking paramedic or crime scene photographer... just Jesus anything but being pent up all secluded like a hermit in your cold studio taking pictures!"

"But that wouldn't be me!" I yelled, noticing that Dr. Carlisle had long since stopped actually counseling us. "Would you really still want me if I were miserable every god damn day of my life? Would you really want that?"

"How do you KNOW that wouldn't be you?! How do you KNOW you would be miserable!? You've never even TRIED anything but pressing a fucking camera button!"

I just looked at her in disbelief. "What happened to you? What happened to the girl I fell in love with? Cause I'll tell you right now, you aren't her! You aren't the girl who once told me she would love me unconditionally, nor the one told me that I should always do what I LOVED. I... I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

She actually rolled her eyes at me. "You're being a tad over dramatic don't you think? I'm still the same person only... grown up. And I still love you, with all my heart. I just wish you would try and grow and be better and see how great you COULD be."

"Why can't I be great at what I do? Why can't that be my niche? How come I have to push paper in order to be successful? And you aren't the same person; not at all. There's all this... shit between us now, and I feel like you don't even want to get rid of it." I was so unbelievably sad at this point because I realized that being with Bella wasn't this complicated. It was a fucking breeze.

"I do! That's why I'm here - why we're here. Because baby, don't you wanna work on this too? For us? For our future? For our future children?"

I compelled every sperm in my body to die instantly. "Do we even have a future? Because at this point, if you keep acting the way you are, it's not going to happen. I don't care how long we've been together."

She froze, and I watched as tears filled her eyes. She looked between me and the doctor before she spoke. "We'll work through it Eddie. We just need time, please baby."

"I love you," Did I? "But... the things you do to me suck. If I didn't have a relatively steady income, I'd get it, but since I do... baby, this just doesn't make sense. Are you embarrassed by me? Cause if you are, why would you want to marry me? If I make you uncomfortable for the rest of your life, why put yourself through that when we can just walk away."

And just like that, I was this much closer to Bella. I could feel us on the edge of something, and hopefully it would put me in Bella's arms.

"Because Edward, I love you. And if you are truly happy and really don't think that you would be happier doing something, _anything _else I can learn to be okay with your choice of work. I just don't want you to look back in 20 years or 40, when we're old and gray and regret it. I don't want you to regret anything, baby."

"And I won't." I said, calming slightly. "But you didn't answer the question: are you embarrassed by me?"

She smiled at me, and took my hand in hers. "I have the sexiest boyfriend on the fucking planet. Why would I be embarrassed by you? All my friends are _envious_- even after I tell them what you do for a living."

I snatched my hand away, "SEE! SEE! It's THAT! Why the fuck do you have to take a perfectly good moment and say something like THAT?"

"What'd I say? I'm saying that your looks outweigh any potential smudge that your job would have! That's a good thing!"

"YOU FUCKING DID IT AGAIN! Tanya, my job is not a smudge! It's my _job! _My looks shouldn't have anything to do with it! At this point, since we've been together for seven years, you should love me for the person I am. I mean, fuck, I'm 27 years old; do you think I'm going to look like this forever?"

"I do love you for who you are Eddie, but it's hard to try and figure out who that is anymore since whenever I'm around you disappear like I'm the last person you want to be with!"

"Maybe that's exactly how I feel," I mumbled to myself, but I could tell from the look on her face that she'd heard. I regretted that, but not enough to take it back or apologize.

"Well," Dr. Carlisle said, standing. "I think that's enough for today. Why don't we work on communication for next week, okay kids?"

We mumbled in his general direction and filed out not talking to each other. Oh, and of course Bella was outside with James. Of fucking course. She didn't see me watching her at first, as she read her magazine and traced her hand up and down James' thigh absent mindedly. That killed me even more. She was happy without me, and I was miserable. Why was I letting myself fall so deep for this girl? Wasn't one girl mistreating my heart enough? I accidentally walked into Tanya, and she turned to me quickly, glaring. "Watch it. I am not happy with you."

I sighed and rolled my eyes-- unfortunately in Bella's direction. Her eyes met mine, and they went from happy to sad to confused to worried in one beat. I wanted her to hold me and fix it, and tell me that she wanted me to come away with her. But she didn't. Almost a second later, James sat forward and started to kiss the side of her neck. I wanted to fucking kill him right then because I wanted that to be me.

Why the hell did I think this was a good idea anyway?

**BPOV  
**  
I was blatantly staring at Edward as Tanya wrote out the check to the receptionist. I felt James' lips press against me and I instinctively leaned back away from him. "What's the matter baby?" He whispered in my ear. My eyes locked with Edward's and I saw his jaw clench. "Nothing... nothing. I think Dr. Carlisle's ready for us." I replied, nudging my head towards his open door. James' eyes followed my line of sight and he shrugged and stood up walking ahead of me towards the door. I bent down to grab my purse before making my way to the door. Edward was still looking at me, and I bit my lip smiling sadly. I wished I could kiss away whatever the fuck was making him so upset. I knew I couldn't cross this space, staring at him like I had been, with him just as focused on me and _not_ touch him. As I approached where he was standing just a couple of feet from where James and Dr. Carlisle were waiting, I brushed my hand against his, scratching his palm. I felt his fingers curl up to wrap around my hand but I moved out of his grasp before he could get a firm hold. He exhaled audibly and I bit the inside of my cheek willing myself not to run out of the room and into his arms.

How the fuck did this get so messy so soon? Oh right, I was starting to care about him.

I took my seat beside James on the couch. "So how was your week?" Dr. Carlisle asked, turning to James.

"Fine." He said sinking into the leather of the sofa.

"So you and Bella's sexual relationship is strong, and you've become more dependable? Fantastic! Quickest work yet!" Dr. Carlisle chided.

"Uh, no. I didn't say that. Bella's still not... uh, well. She leaves something to be desired in the sack, if you know what I mean."

The doc nodded and turned to me. "This is a good place to start. Bella how are you feeling?"

"Like he expects me to spread my legs whenever he wants me to and I should thank my lucky stars that he's even around."

"You should! Who else would take care of you the way I do? hm? What the fuck are you waiting for, Bella?"

"You to be the person you were a couple of years ago, when everything was better!"

He sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest like an angry child. "Yeah, and that was when we fucked on a regular basis! You don't even go down on me anymore!"

"Yeah and we fucked on a regular basis because you treated me better. You were reliable and we did stuff together. Now what do we do? Watch movies while your hands try and grope whatever you can on me?"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T GET ANY ANY OTHER WAY! Just FUCK me occasionally, and I'll back off!"

"Then BE THERE when I need you, and I'll feel more inclined to want to have you in me!" I scolded. That wasn't even true. Just the idea of him plowing into me was disgusting and made me mentally cringe. Edward was who I wanted buried inside me. Fuck, Edward.

"Whatever, Bella. You'll just find something else to nag me about if I do change, so what the hell is even the point?"

"Then why do you put up with it? If that's really how you feel, if you only think that I nag and withhold sex then why be with me?"

"Because I love you. Because you make me happy-- most of the time. Because you have a good heart." He mumbled quickly.

I really wanted to say he didn't make _me_ happy anymore, but that would have just been out of spite. I did love him, he did make me happy sometimes. "I love you too James. I just wish you would do more than just say it; I need you to show me you love me - and not by thrusting in me with your dick."

"I do show you! What about the other night when I took you out! Or... or when you needed milk and I got it for you!" he replied grinning triumphantly.

"You 'took me out' by telling me to meet you for happy hour and you were already plastered with your friends when I got there. And I needed milk because you drank the entire carton I'd bought all in one afternoon while eating the cookies I'd made for Angela's baby shower."

"You still asked me and I did it! What the hell's the difference?"

"It matters! Would you have gotten the milk, if I hadn't asked?" I questioned, looking at him pointedly. I knew the answer, I just wanted to see if he'd lie to make himself look better.

"It's not my fucking house! Why would I buy your groceries?"

I looked from him to Dr. Carlisle and began laughing. Seriously? I had really put up with _this _for 5 years? Why again? "Exactly James."

He looked at me bewildered, unsure of what to say next. Fortunately he didn't have to say anything. "It looks like it's about time." Dr. Carlisle's voice boomed. "I'll plan to see you both next week at the same time. This communication... the two way street.. it's a good road. Let's drive on it some more next time."

Really? We were paying $150 bucks an hour for road analogies? Neither one of us said anything as we walked out of his office.

"Well I'm gonna head home." James said as he shut the door behind himself. "Unless you want me to come over and we can make up...?"

I looked at him and sighed. My mind drifted to Edward and how sad he'd looked earlier, but he was hanging in there. He was trying to make it work - and maybe so should I. "Yeah, let me just pay and then you can follow me home."

An hour later we arrived at my apartment. Eight minutes after that we were laying naked in my bed and James had that smug 'I just got laid' smirk plastered on his face; is it even worth noting that the 8 minutes _included _what he deemed 'foreplay'? I curled up in a ball with my back towards him and sighed. I felt his hand reach over and begin scratching my back. My eyes shut and all I could think was _it felt like I just cheated on Edward_.

**EPOV**

"Edward, I just don't want to be around you right now!" Tanya said, running around the kitchen, attempting to make a tuna sandwich.

"Baby, I--"

"No, Edward. Not this time. Just... go, okay? You really hurt my feelings and I don't want to be around you right now. Just leave."

I sighed and looked at her skinny little back. I'd hurt her, but at the same time, she was hurting me. "Okay, I'll go. I'll call you in the morning." I kissed the back of her head and turned to leave, when she called me again.

"I do love you, you know. Regardless."

I nodded, but kept going toward the door. "Love you."

I drove around Seattle for a little while until I found a hotel and got myself a room. I got upstairs and collapsed on the bed, never having felt more alone in my entire life. I wanted... I wanted.... fuck, I didn't know what the hell I wanted. I pulled out my phone and texted Bella, wanting to at least read some friendly words. But none came. I ended up asleep in my clothes, curled up in a ball trying to remember why any of this seemed like a good idea.

But who do you turn to when everyone could turn against you?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

This is my new favorite story bels. FYI.

Lol. I couldn't tell Kella... but can you keep a secret? (no pun intended)

Sure, what's the haps?

Mine too... but there is one person who wouldn't like it. Can you guess who?

The pope? I'm pretty sure he's against pre-marital sex, birth control, adultury and fic cliffys

Well, okay... maybe him, too. But I was thinking Smeyer... who owns these guys

Oh right, yeah... I get the feeling she's against everything that the Pope is aside from maybe the cliff. But you know who loves all of the above, like us?

(Points to you--Yes you!) THEM!

DING! DING! DING! And you know how we KNOW they love it?

REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, I TOLD YOU you were the brains of this op. Duh.

uh, no... tots you :P

Whatevs, lies... let's let them get to the love and reviewin, eh?

yup yup :)

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke up to James' snoring and groaned. Ugh, another day. Fantastic. I rolled out of bed and pulled out my blackberry to check my work email to get a feel for what kind of day I was going to have. A smile spread across my lips as I saw a text from Edward from... last night? Weird, I thought he was with Tanya last night? I opened the message folder and read it.

**I miss you.**

My heart melted a little and I deleted the message before getting ready for my day. With the added pep in my step thanks to the text I managed to be ready to go a lot sooner than normal. I smirked as an idea popped into my head and I grabbed my purse & keys, dashing out the door.

It was nearing 9am and I knew I'd be cutting it close for my 10am meeting, but this was far more important. I tapped my foot waiting impatiently as the elevator came to a screech and finally stopped. I gripped onto the carrying tray more securely as the doors opened and I walked out, knocking on the door to Edward's studio.

"Coming!" I heard him yell after a beat. He swung open the door quickly, his head snapping back in surprise. "Bella?"

I grinned from ear to ear and held up the tray. "Breakfast!"

"Oh... thanks" he replied, fairly monotone as he opened the door wider and ushered me inside.

My face fell, and for a minute my heart stopped. Was this not OK? Did this not fall under the guidelines that people having affairs were expected to follow? I walked through his door, trying my best to hold up the smile as I placed the tray on the bar-counter top that separated his kitchen from his live/work area.

"Blueberry or cranberry apple?" I asked holding up 2 individual bags holding muffins.

"Uh, blueberry's fine." He said reaching for the paper bag with the pastry.

I furrowed my brows, placing my bag down and taking a step towards him. I brushed the hair away from his forehead gently. "Hey? You okay?" I asked softly, looking up into his eyes.

He shrugged out of my reach, taking a step back. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"I- I'm... fine?" Was I? He was visibly upset and it was making me hurt too. "Edward, would you like me to leave? I didn't mean to intrude, I just... I got your text message this morning and I felt the same so I thought... but apparently it wasn't..." I trailed off shaking my head and looking down. I took a deep breath, looking directly at him. "Do you want me to go?"

"If I didn't want you here I wouldn't have let you in." He sighed, tugging at his hair. He clenched and unclenched his jaw before continuing. "Look, I just... I have a lot on my mind. It's a lot to handle, you know?"

I nodded. I knew _exactly _what he meant. "Yeah, I know." I didn't know if it would help in the slightest or cause more shit to pile in his head, but I closed the gap between us and reached up to cup his jaw. "I just wanted to say good morning and that I missed you too." I whispered.

"Did you?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

He shrugged aloofly and looked towards the window. "You don't answer to me; you aren't expected to."

I laughed a little, leaning my forehead against his. "Guess what? I don't answer to anyone. And yet, funny thing... I still missed you."

"Where were you last night? I got a little worried after I didn't hear from you?"

I tensed up and bit my lip. Why did I feel like I was about to confess that I'd cheated on Edward with... my boyfriend. "Do you really want me to answer that?" I asked hesitantly.

He pulled away from me and tossed the muffin onto his couch carelessly. "Therapy went well then?"

"Not really, but it wasn't like I could have run to you afterward; you were with Tanya."

"Was I? Good to know."

"Weren't you?"

"Doesn't matter."

I wasn't playing games with him. I played enough fucking games with James and the last thing I needed was another relationship like _that._ I turned, walking back to grab one of the coffees in the holder and readjusted my bag on my shoulder. "Edward, I don't want to play games. I came here to surprise you with caffeine, pastries and an 'I miss you' because I did, and I do. That was it."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm glad you came. I did miss you."

"What are the chances I can get a good morning kiss then?" I asked, smirking.

**EPOV**

I leaned in and kissed her lightly. I knew she was with him last night, which made her being here with me that much harder. She could have texted me back last night; she could have called me after she got out of her appointment. But she didn't. She went home with him. I sighed against her lips and pulled away. She didn't answer to me, I said to myself, she wasn't mine. I didn't have the right to know how she spent her evening, nor with whom. And yet, it got to me. I didn't want her to be with him.

"What?" Bella asked, looking up at me and smiling.

Shit, I'd been talking out loud. I sighed and pulled away from her, leaning back over the counter top. "You don't have to worry about me, Bella. Okay?"

"I know I don't have to, but I do."

"But..." Shit, she wasn't getting it. "But, you shouldn't. It... complicates things."

"I know it does." She said, looking down at her feet. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just... God, I don't even know anymore." I put my head down on the cool counter top and tried to make it clear up my head.

"I'm just going to go. I think that may help. I'm sorry for coming by, it was... inappropriate; I see that now." She turned away from me and walk to the door.

So I let her go. It was getting to intense for me, and obviously for her, too. Not gonna lie, her lack of communication last night struck a chord at a very inopportune moment. I got a taste for what my life would be like once I had neither Bella nor Tanya. I'd be alone in a bed at a hotel with no one to call and no one to hold me. Perhaps solitude was what I deserved, after all of this.

I quit trying to work around lunch time, and I turned off my phone because I didn't really want to hear from either one of them. Not that either would be looking for me anyway. I walked back to the hotel and took out my room for another night. I couldn't go home and sleep with Tanya. It would be more of a lie than it already was, and the studio... it literally reeked of Bella. I couldn't be around that if I couldn't have her. The sterile bed in the generic room was what I needed to numb my mind into complacency. I turned my phone back on, and plugged it into the charger, before getting into the shower and ordering room service. This wasn't what I wanted, I realized as soon as I was alone in my room, with some random cable movie blasting in the background. I wanted someone with me, I wanted... love.

I was shaken out of my delusion when I heard my phone clanging noisily against the night stand. I reached for it and answered.

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

_BELLA._

I seriously didn't think that I'd be hearing her voice again. "H-hey."

"Am I... Am I bothering you?"

"No," I breathed, clutching the phone as tightly as I could to my ear because I didn't want to miss a single breath. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just... I really missed you."

I sighed with relief, and sank down on the bed. "I miss you."

"Are you busy tonight? Can I see you?"

"Are you okay?" If he'd hurt her, I'd cut his dick off. With a piece of glass.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She laughed. "I just... I'd rather have something complicated with you than simple with anyone else."

But I didn't want it to be complicated. I wanted it to be effortless. "I'm at the Republic. Downtown. How soon can you be here?"

"Give me five minutes; I'm just driving around downtown now. What room are you?"

"334."

"OK." she paused. "And Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I've decided I'm going to continue to worry about you and care about you. So you'll just have to deal with it." I could feel her smile threw the phone, and I couldn't help but feel even guiltier about what I was doing.

"I wish you wouldn't," I lamented.

"Turkey or chicken?"

"Chicken, why?" I was so lost.

She laughed again, "Subject change."

"Oh." I said, not enjoying her joke as much as she probably hoped I would.

"Talk to me on the phone, or kiss me."

Too Easy. "Kiss you."

She laughed lightly into the phone. "Then open the door."

I dropped my phone and flung the door open, pulling her into my arms and kissing her. I missed her, really I did, but I just didn't know how I was supposed to work our relationship (which is what it was now) in tandem with my other. I hated that Bella was a secret and that we were stuck in this weird limbo, but that was the way it had to be. Bella could never be mine forever, but she could certainly be mine now.

**BPOV**

His arms wrapped around my waist and bunched up my sweater in his hands. I sighed into him as his tongue slipped past my lips and slid along my own. This was what I'd been missing, just... this. The way his lips moved perfectly against mine and the way his skin both cooled and heated my own. I kicked my leg back and slammed the door shut, as his hands moved back around my body to my sides and slowly dragged my sweater up and over my head. His hands roamed all over the front of my body as our lips reconnected. My hands moved from his sides to my back, so I could undo my bra. I let it drop between us and one of his hands shot up, beginning to massage one of my breasts. His hand alternated to the other, rolling my nipple between his fingers. I moaned into his mouth and he in returned, groaned and pulled my body closer to his. My hands slid down his chest, tugging his shirt up as we momentarily separated our mouths so he could lose the shirt. He lips searched mine out hungrily. My body was reacting to his touch, unlike anything I'd ever experienced. It was like his skin, his lips, his... everything, called to my body. Like a flute to a cobra it awakened me and made me feel alive. I was beginning to realize that there was no part of me he couldn't have if he asked, and that was petrifying. But here, now, in this moment it only set fuel to the fire and made me even more sensitive to his every caress, whisper, and kiss.

We blindly stumbled over to the bed, unzipping each others' pants and stepping out of them as we made our way to the mattress. The back of my knees bumped against the edge of the bed and he leaned over guiding my down so he was hovering above me. His lips slowly released mine as we both panted and looked at each other.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He whispered. I nodded and he moved off me to grab the condom from his pants pocket. He stood in front of the bed, his raging hard on standing at full attention. He ran one hand nervously through his hair as his other hand slid the condom on.

There would never be a sexier image than him in that moment.

He knelt down on the bed, moving over me. He positioned himself at my entrance and I bent my knees up, spreading them apart as far as I could. He leaned forward, moving his lips against mine as he pushed himself deep inside me. I let out a whimper as I felt him stretch me. He was perfect; he felt perfect inside me. After a brief pause, I arched my hips up grinding against him and he began moving in and out with slow, deliberate strokes. His lips moved from mine as he trailed kisses down my cheek, jaw and down my neck.

"Edward. Edward. Edward." I breathed his name like a prayer as his pace began to pick up. My hands moved down his back to his ass, pushing him into me even deeper. He grunted into my neck and bit down. God, that felt good. I moaned and arched my back in response which only drove him to slam into me harder. "God Edward... Edward, Edward... I'm so close."

He murmured something I couldn't decipher into my skin. I felt his slick forehead push against my shoulder as one of his hands slid from my hips down to my swollen clit. His index and middle finger began rubbing frantic circles on it and I squeaked out in pleasure.

I felt him laugh a little into my neck and place a few kisses against the corner where my neck and shoulder met. "Bella please, I need to feel you squeeze around me. Please I need you; please baby, just let go."

"Edward. Edward. Ungh! Edward.. oh god.. I'm .... EDWARD!" I screamed as I felt myself let go and grip his dick as I exploded around him. I leaned my head back into the pillow and felt him thrust into me a couple more times before stilling inside me as my name fell from his lips repeatedly.

He gulped audibly and kissed along my collarbone. My hands slid into his hair, teasing it with my fingers. I moved my head down and felt his lips press to mine reverently. "You're amazing." He mumbled against my lips as he slid out of me and moved to my side, pulling me against him. His lips pressed into my hair and his nose nuzzled against the top of my head. We laid there in comfortable silence for awhile until we began shivering and moved to crawl under the covers.

His arms pulled me to him immediately and I wrapped my arms around him, draping a leg across his lower torso. He adjusted so he could hold me as close as possible and I felt him breathe me in as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

This wasn't love, of that I was sure.

But that didn't mean it wasn't something great.

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning, not completely better but close enough so that I was able to smile into Bella's hair. I kissed the top of her head, and realized how close i came to losing her yesterday. Why should it matter? After all, sleeping with Bella had begun as a game. It was revenge. Screw the girl who's boyfriend was fucking my girl. But what if... what if somehow in the last week Bella and Tanya had switched places? That scared the shit out of me. I never thought of myself as the guy who cheats, because that was my father. I saw what a cheating spouse did first hand, how it tore families and people apart, and yet here I was in bed (naked) with a woman who was not my fiancee. I was becoming a man I didn't recognize, and someone I couldn't be proud of. But could I give up Bella? NO, my mind screamed, berating me for even the suggestion of leaving her. Tanya, then, could I leave her? I was shocked when the answer didn't come as readily.

I leaned over again, this time kissing across her face until I got to her lips. She smiled after a moment, then pulled me tighter.

"Hey, you." She mumbled.

"Hi," I replied, kissing her cheek before rolling her onto her back and kissing my way down her body.

Her hands found my hair, and she started massaging my scalp as I got lower and lower. "You could say good morning like this everyday."

I smiled into her breast and flicked her nipple. "I would, too."

I saw her arch into me and I slipped my hand down to her core and found that she was already sopping for me. "Baby... Baby, you're--"

"Only for you," She whispered.

My lips found hers again, and in an instant I was inside of her. She moaned and pushed her hips down into mine as I thrust against her. This was what it was supposed to be like, I realized. Sex was supposed to be with someone you want to be with, not just because you owed it to the other person. Being with Bella felt different. She made me want to please her, and be a part of her. I didn't... I didn't want those things with Tanya, I realized. That was yet another reality to freak me out. Soon enough, she came followed by me and once I pulled out I realized that I hadn't worn a condom. Shit.

I quickly turned back over to her, panic in my voice. "I didn't wear a condom."

She laughed a little, shifting a bit on the bed. "I thought it felt different." She looked over to me and sighed softly, then put her hand on my cheek. "It's okay. I'll just stop by the pharmacy and get one of those plan b things." She sat up and kissed me. "It'll be fine."

"You sure?" I asked, then looking down. "That's not gonna mess up your... parts?"

She laughed again, shaking her head. "I don't think the FDA would allow it to be on the market if it made me sprout a 3rd tit or turned my vagina into a scrotum. I think I'm safe."

I shivered and kissed her. I didn't want to think about that. "Bella... ew."

She just laughed, and kissed me again. Okay, fine. As long as Bella didn't grow balls, we'd be okay. "Hey, don't you have to work today?" She asked, pulling away.

I pouted. "I thought we were spending the day together." I really didn't want to let her go.

She pushed the hair off of my forehead, "But you have work"

"Come with me." Impulsive, yes, but necessary all the same.

"Well... I want to... but I don't think it's--"

"No. Come. I won't go if you don't." I knew I had her, and she knew it too. I leaned in and kissed her again, a triumphant smile on my face. "Come on, then, we have to get going."

She laughed and pushed against me. "Then move your naked ass!"

I got up and walked to the bathroom. "You think my ass is sexy."

"Yeah, yeah hot stuff. Keep telling yourself that."

A shower, breakfast, a stop at the drug store and my studio later, Bella and I were at a huge white house in the suburbs setting up my equipment.

"Just be careful, okay?" I said as she attempted to adjust one of the lighting fixtures for me. "It's heavy, don't hurt yourself."

She rolled her eyes. "Easy, Edward, I got it."

I shook my head and unpacked my camera, and put it together.

"Ta Da!" She called, plugging in all of the lights and wearing an accomplished smile. I snapped her picture. "Hey!" She yelled coming over to me. "Don't--"

"Shh." I said, smiling at her. "Get over there and let me check the light."

She eyed me, disbelievingly but relented, standing beside the huge floor to ceiling window that was there. "Tilt your head up." I asked as she looked out onto the lawn, her shy blush coming up her cheek. she was so beautiful that it literally made me ache with desire for her. I wanted her to be mine; to wake up with her, have sex with her, kiss her... but I couldn't. I knew we couldn't. We had an expiration date, of that I was sure.

"Bella, look at me." I murmured and she turned slowly. Her hair was like a halo around her face and she smiled a little when she looked at me. Her eyes were so warm and open; it was like she was asking me to stay with her. She would give me anything. I took a few more shots before I went and kissed her.

"Thank you. You're perfect."

She smiled against my lips then tapped my hip with her fingers. "You better hurry, though. Your real model just showed up."

**BPOV**

I watched him spin around as he came within inches of kissing a ridiculously tall and thin red head. "Natalie!" He said, taking a few steps back. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him and for a brief moment I felt pangs of jealousy.

"It's great to see you. It's been far too long." She said pulling away and smiling. He nodded "It has..." He turned around to face me and waved me over. "Natalie, there's someone I want you to meet." I walked closer to both of them and smiled as best I could.

"Bella, this is Natalie. I've worked with her for god... two years now?" He said, forming it as more of a question. The girl nodded a confirmation glanced at me smiling, sweetly. "And this is Bella, my..." his voice dropped off for a moment as he looked at me. "My Bella." He said matter-of-factly. Both she and I laughed a little as she stuck her hand out towards me. "Nice to meet you Edward's Bella." I shook her hand expressing the same sentiment. And just like that, any unmerited jealousy I had flitted away.

He called me _his Bella_. And however technically untrue that statement was, it didn't matter because he said it so effortlessly it felt like he really meant it.

For the next few hours I sat back and watched him work. He was so methodical yet random in how he photographed Natalie it almost looked like a science. The way he worked so steadily, but at the same time quickly.. moving from one shot to the next, it was really impressive. He truly made it look like an art. _Duh Bella, photography _is _an art_.

After over three and a half hours worth of shots, poses, wardrobe changes and re-shoots Edward put his camera down and smiled towards Natalie. "I think we're set."

"Really? Even with the re-shoots?" She asked sounding surprised. He nodded and was already starting to pack up his equipment. "Yeah, you did great... made my job a lot easier." She laughed his compliment off and headed back towards the dining room that had been designated the wardrobe station.

"That wasn't _too _boring for you to sit through, was it?" He asked me, not looking up from where he was packing up some of the lighting. I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "No, not at all. You're fascinating to watch. I'd love to tag along again sometime, if it's not a problem."

His head shot up, looking at me. "What? Really? You're not being sarcastic?"

I laughed lightly. "No, really. You're like... I don't know; you seemed like you were in your element during the shoot. It was amazing to watch."

He shook his head, grinning. "Thank you, but I don't see how watching someone take pictures can be in the least bit fun."

I stood up walking over to him. "Is that a no to tagging along then?" I whispered, hovering my mouth over his. His lips tugged my bottom lip inside his mouth and he sucked on it lightly before letting it go and murmuring, "you can come anytime you want." I smiled broadly and leaned my lips against his again, as Natalie's voice echoed through the room.

"Edward?"

He pulled away quickly, looking in the direction her voice came from. "Yea?" I turned around to face her as well, a blush spreading across my cheeks. Fuck, we'd been caught. To my surprise she didn't look upset or disgusted by it, in fact she was grinning.

"I just wanted to let you know the clothes are all packed up and everyone back there has gone home, so I'm going to head off too."

He nodded, still scratching at his scalp. "Oh, okay thanks for letting me know."

She nodded and looked over to me. "It was nice meeting you Bella. I hope I get the chance to see you again at one of Edward's shoots; maybe next time we could do a couple shots together." I laughed outright and nodded. "Sure, right..." Her brows knitted together and she crossed her arms looking back at Edward. "Edward, I don't think you tell your Bella she's pretty enough. She's beautiful." I felt my blush deepen and looked up at him to see a smug smile spread across his face. He glanced over at me. "Yeah she's the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

And that would be the moment my heart stopped beating for James and began humming for Edward.

The drive back to the studio to drop off the equipment was fairly quiet. We talked about our childhoods, and Edward said he really hoped I could meet his older brother some day. "I think you'd really like Jasper; he's really laid back and mellow. His wife is pretty kooky though." He said chuckling.

"How so?"

"Oh she's into all that eastern medicine, acupuncture stuff. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but they have a newborn who's been fighting this bad cold so she's got him going to baby acupuncture or something. It's kind of silly."

I shrugged. "Well, if it works then why knock it?"

He turned to look at me, grinning. "That's exactly what Jasper said."

We parked in his assigned space underneath the building and loaded up the elevator with all of his equipment and rode up in silence, taking chance glances at one another until it was empty and it was only us and his stuff. Before I could prepare myself his lips were on mine, moving against them fluidly as he pressed me against the wall of the elevator. He pulled away slowly as we approached the 3rd floor. "Thank you for coming today." He breathed against my lips. I nodded and smiled, kissing the corner of his mouth, "thank you for inviting me." He backed away from my body and started loading up his arms as the lift dinged and we came to a stop. The doors opened and he held the door open so I could walk through carrying the few bags I'd been able to grab. I nearly dropped everything as I turned towards his door.

"Edward!"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N:

Kella? I have to admit, the smut in this chap? Epic, no?

Totally. Epic win. There's variety... there's epicness... there's just... everything you could want in a smutfic.

Mhm. Tots. S Meyer, who owns all apparently, prolly would frown alot if she read this.

Prolly. But I love our reviewers because they enjoy it just as much as we do, me thinks. But there's only one way to find out, so review! :)

Yes, please and thanks you!

* * *

**EPOV**

Shit.

What the fuck was she doing here?

"Hey, Tanya." I said as Bella and I walked toward her down the hall. "What are you doing here?"

She pouted, but her eyes were mischievous. "I missed you. You didn't come home last night, or the night before. I was lonely without you, Eddie."

I sighed as I got closer to her, putting down a couple of bags as I fished out my keys. "I left you a message."

"Who's you're little friend?" She asked, eyeing my poor Bella in the worst way.

I stepped in front of Bella a bit, blocking her from Tanya's view. "This is Bella, my assistant. Bella, my girlfriend Tanya."

"Fiancée." She corrected.

"Either or." I said, opening the door and gesturing for Bella to go in. Once she was safely inside, I shut the door behind her.

"Edward, who is she?" Tanya asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"My assistant. I had a shoot and she assisted me."

She raised an eyebrow, "You sure?"

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously?"

She sighed and looped her arms around my neck. "I missed you."

I pulled her into me and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you tonight. I have to develop these shots, then I'll be home."

"Well, that's what I wanted to tell you. I'm leaving tonight for Hong Kong."

I looked down at her. "Hong Kong?"

She nodded. "Emergency strategy meeting. "I'll be back by next Friday."

I leaned down and kissed her. "Be safe, okay?"

She hummed into my skin, smiling slightly. "I will. And Edward? Despite everything, I really do love you."

I kissed her forehead lightly. "I know. I love you too. Call me when you get there."

"Okay." She said, as she turned down the hall and left. After she was in the elevator I slouched against the closed door, sighing. I couldn't believe that this was happening. I was completely torn when it came to where my loyalties lay. One would think with my fiancée, but instead, I found my mind preoccupied with Bella. With my Bella. She was probably feeling hurt and jealous, and all I wanted to do was make sure Tanya never came anywhere near her again.

That was the moment I realized that I was now living for Bella.

**BPOV**

She was even more beautiful than I remember her being from the little I saw of her at Dr. Carlisle's office; she was even prettier than Natalie. Of course Edward would be with someone hotter than a model. I rolled my eyes and walked into his designated "studio within a studio" zone and flopped down on the couch, eying the door. They were probably fucking in the hall. I felt my stomach churn and I reached for the remote turning on the TV and blaring it loudly to drown out any possible noises and to attempt to drown out the voice in my head that was reminding me why this was such a bad idea.

I tried repeating what I knew, the truth about our situation in my head. One, Edward loves his fiance. Two, Edward doesn't care about you as more than a friend. Three, Edward and you have mind blowing sex, but that's all outside of a friendship. But wait, wasn't that what a good relationship was supposed to be? A friendship with great sexual chemistry? Ugh, this was no good. I lolled my head back against the couch and sighed in frustration.

My eyes clamped shut even tighter as I heard the door creak open.

**EPOV**

"Bella?" I called, pulling my bags into the room with me. "Bella?"

I saw her lift her head slowly, "Hm?"

"You ready for dinner?" The door shut behind me and I walked over to her, resting my arms on the back of the couch on either side of her, and my chin on top of her head.

"You sure you want to do dinner still?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. Tanya came over here; you said she doesn't do that often. I figured maybe you two would want to..."

I put my cheek to her head and sighed. "She's going to Hong Kong until next week. She just wanted to tell me."

"Oh, okay."

I moved my arms to wrap around her and dropped my head to her shoulder. "You okay?"

She let out a soft sigh, and nodded. "Yeah, I just... I wasn't ready for that. To see you and her, like that. Which is silly because she's your _fiance_."

I sighed nuzzling the side of her neck a little. "But you're my Bella."

I heard her sniffle a bit, then her cheek was resting against my head. "Yeah."

"So please, just... know that? Don't let her get to you. She's not worth it."

"No... no, it's fine. It just surprised me is all." I felt her take a deep breath to try and shake off the feelings. "So dinner?"

I kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder. "Wherever you want."

She twisted her head around and put a hand on my neck, kissing my lips fully. She pulled away slowly, her lips hovering above my own. "Um, I'm okay with whatever you want."

"No, no. Your choice, love. I'm taking you out, so you get to pick."

"Can I choose to skip dinner and just take you here now?" Bella asked with a smirk.

I furrowed my brow and kissed her fully on the lips. "I'd love that. But, I think you'll need real food. Besides, we have all night for me to show you why you put up with me."

"All night huh? In that case, we need carbs."

"Italian, then?"

"Lasagna?" She suggested, smiling.

"Okay. There's a mom and pop around the corner. You interested?"

She leaned in an kissed me again. "Definitely."

She went to stand up and I grabbed her bag. "Hey, baby?"

"Hm?" She asked, coming over to me.

"Do you have your iPod in here?"

"Mhm. It's in the the pocket."

I pulled it out and started scrolling through her music. "Baby we should make a play list for fucking. We could call it 'fucking each other'" I said, with a grin.

She rolled her eyes at me. "If you're going to talk about us having sex then we're never going to get food, because I'm strong and I'll just drag you back there" She said, nodding her head in the direction of the bedroom.

I turned and followed her out the door. "But we wouldn't have any music to fuck to cause I haven't made the play list yet!"

She swished over to me, and brushed her lips against my cheek as she whispered. "Do you really need music to drown out the sound of me _moaning_ your name?" Finally her lips made contact.

I groaned and closed my eyes, pushing her into the elevator then folding her in my arms. "Baby, dontcha know? You could use it when you're with James and think of me."

"How do you know it's not the other way around already, and I think of James when you're fucking me?" She quirked an eyebrow. "That's mighty presumptuous of you."

I saw bright blazing fucking red. But instead of getting mad, I got even. "Why would you be with me if you really wanted to be with him? You have him, but face it love, you want me."

"You know, you're pretty arrogant for someone who almost just got caught." She smirked and kissed the corner of my mouth.

I sighed and leaned my head against her shoulder, thinking about Tanya and James. Would Tanya be going to him tonight? "Are you saying you don't want me?"

She sighed, then pressed a gentle kiss to my temple before whispering, "I'm saying I want you all the time, even without a play list to set a pace to; in fact, I kinda prefer _our _rhythm."

The elevator door opened and I extracted myself from her before leading her from the lobby to the street. "I think... I think you might be perfect."

Bella laughed a little, curling her hand with mine. "Maybe for you."

I kissed the back of her hand, "Always. Always for me."

I watched as she began to blush and, looked down at the ground shyly. I laughed and shook my head, opening the door to the restaurant for her and letting her step inside. "Hel-looo" The hostess said, as I put my hand on the small of Bella's back and started rubbing small circles.

"Two, please."

"Right this way..." The hostess said, locking her eyes on mine, then leading us to a table in the middle of the room, shaking her ass a bit. "If you don't mind, something a little more private. I haven't seen my girl in a while."

I felt Bella curl into me a little and the hostess raised an eyebrow and grunted before taking us to a booth in the back. I let Bella slip in first, and I sat next to her pulling her under my arm protectively.

I think the hostess said something, but I was too busy trying to hold Bella to pay attention. She kept inching farther and farther away from me. I didn't like it.

"Something wrong, love?"

"Just making room for the waitress."

I furrowed my brow and looked at her. "Excuse me?"

"The waitress was saying how she wished she had a boyfriend who took such good care of his sister as you did of me. You didn't respond, so I thought I'd be nice and let her experience it."

"Baby..." I shook my head, confused. "What? I... I'm here with you. I'm only looking at you. Thinking of you. I wasn't paying any attention to her."

"Oh, well good then." She said, smiling brightly up at me.

I laughed and kissed the side of her head. "Baby, you're ridiculous."

She grinned and picked up the menu, looking it over. "Don't even lie, you love it."

I hesitated. Did I? No, not really. I... cared for her, definitely, but I couldn't say that I loved her... yet. I looked back down at her and smiled before kissing her forehead again.

She laughed lightly, "Lighten up Edward, I didn't mean _love love_." I felt her hand slip under the table and over my thigh, rubbing it a little.

I sighed and put my head on her shoulder. "What looks good?"

"The spaghetti and meatballs looks good and you can't go wrong with a classic." She murmured, resting her cheek on my head. "Did you want to split it?"

"What? Like Lady and the Tramp?"

"No like you get a side plate, I get one too and we put what we want from the big plate onto the little ones. Duh." She replied, laughing lightly.

"I liked my idea better," I said, pouting a little and kissing the side of her neck.

I felt her hand slide dangerously up my thigh. "Well, I liked my original thought best. So can we just skip to dessert? All this nonsense of eating is just wasting time when you could be inside me."

I sucked on the side of her neck for a minute. "Baby, I'm a growing boy-- literally. Feed me."

She let out and exaggerated sigh, feigning annoyance. "Fine fine. Where's the waitress that wanted me dead so she could get inside your pants?"

I sighed and lifted my head, then saw the waitress shimmying her way over to us, a 'come fuck me smile' on her face. I pulled Bella's hand off my thigh and placed it over my hard on. "Yours."

**BPOV**

I smirked smugly at the waitress as she sauntered over swaying her hips so widely I was worried she'd hit someone with them. "Baby you ready to order?" She asked, staring right at him. I squeezed him and began moving my hand up and down his shaft through his pants.

"Spags and balls. Please."

She smiled at him, and licked her bottom lip. "Perfect. And to drink?"

"Bella?"

I smiled at him and didn't think twice before pressing my lips to his for a quick kiss. "Um, water will be fine." I look up at smiling as sweetly as I could, "thanks."

She tried her best to hide her scowl but it was all over her face - bitch wanted me dead. Whatever. I wrapped Edward's arm around me and snuggled up against him, kissing his neck softly. "Being too hot or too cold?"

He sighed, kissing the side of my head "Baby, right now I do not fucking care."

I laughed softly and stopped moving my hand against his crotch as my fingertips tiptoed up to the buttons of his jeans, popping them off one at a time.

He growled under his breath, tilting his head back against the booth's wall and shutting his eyes. "Oh, God..."

I smirked against the skin of his neck and placed a hot open mouth kiss against it as my hands pushed his jeans down a little and pulled his dick through the slit of his boxers. "Baby?" I whispered into his ear.

His was breathing so heavily through his nose I could hear every inhale and exhale. "What's up, love?"

I gripped his cock in my hand spreading his pre-cum around his length for lubrication. "Baby, if I beg you to, will you cum for me?"

"If you keep it up, I'll cum right now."

My lips fastened to his neck, sucking at his pulse point as my hand slid up and down his shaft in fast hard movements. He began panting, gulping down air audibly as my thumb grazed over his tip.

"Cover your lap with the table cloth." I breathed into his ear.

"What?" He said quietly.

"Just do it. I want to see if you can fuck my mouth as well as you fuck me between my legs."

He groaned and I heard his breath quicken. And just like I asked he lifted the tablecloth over his lap and I bent down, to wrap my mouth around him.

"Fuck Bella.." he hissed, sliding his hand under the cloth and gripping my hair as his hips thrust into my mouth. I hummed against him and I heard him gasp as my hand slid down past his shaft and I cupped his balls, pulsating my hand around them. I moved my mouth as far down on his length as I could go, feeling his tip tickle the back of my throat. He groaned again and murmured something I didn't quite understand. A few seconds later his hips thrust up, shoving his cock even further into my mouth and I felt his cum shoot off down my throat. I continued to moan against his erection as the last droplets of cum escaped his tip. I pulled my mouth away from him, and licked him clean and dry putting him back in his pants and buttoning him up before reemerging from under the tablecloth.

I sat up and straightened my shirt, running a hand through my hair and facing him.

He looked at me wide eyed and shook his head slowly. "Don't... Don't ever leave."

I laughed and nodded my head towards the waitress who was bringing our food. "Perfect timing."

We ate in a comfortable silence, periodically asking a random question, or making a comment about a good restaurant we'd been to in the city.. I picked at a meatball and took a couple bites of pasta, but the rest was all him. Note to self: don't drink your pseudo-boyfriend's cum right before your eat. He asked for a to-go box for what was left when he was done and we made quick work of paying then leaving.

I didn't see the waitress come near us after she dropped off our food and take a glance Edward's post-cum glow. That's right, _I _can do that, I felt like saying to her. Though, a tiny voice in the back of my head did wonder if Tanya couldn't and didn't do it better.

"Thanks again for today Edward. I had a lot of fun." I said as we began walking back towards his studio.

His lips grazed my temple as he spoke, "I loved having you there."

I leaned my head against him as we walked slowly, hand in hand. I loved this and hated it all at the same time. The guilt when I acknowledged its existence, was killing me. How could I be doing this to James? What was worse was it wasn't even strictly sexual; I genuinely enjoyed being around Edward. That just made the guilt multiply. But I liked that I could feel like this, like I wasn't a total prude. I evidently did have a sexual side, a ferocious one at that. Only, it wasn't directed at the right person.

Edward's arm wrapped around my shoulder protectively pulling me closer to his side as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and sighed, stopping in my tracks.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe it's me."

"Hey James. What's up? I thought you were at work?" Did that seem too rushed? Too accusatory?

He chuckled into the phone. "Yeah, I am. I'm just on a break. I thought I might swing by for a minute; I haven't really seen you much since Thursday night - which was AWESOME." God he sounded like such a meat head sometimes.

"Oh, well um... actually I'm with a friend right now. I won't be home til late."

"A friend?"

"Yeah, James. You know people outside of you that I socialize with?" Ugh, the guilt was misfiring and hitting him.

Fortunately he just laughed it off. "Chill out Bells, I was just asking. Anyway, so I'm done here at 5, can I swing by your place with breakfast around 6?"

"James, tomorrow is Sunday. You cannot wake me up at 6am on a Sunday."

"But baby, I haven't seen you in almost half a week."

I sighed. This was something that I had issues with - his lack of being around. It didn't slip past me that I had stopped caring if he was there or not, since I'd met Edward. "6am is early... and I think I may spend the night at my friend's. But what if we meet up for your dinner around 9?"

"Okay, babe. That sounds good. Do you want me to pick you up at your friend's place?"

"No!" I practically shouted into the phone, looking at Edward who had alternated between looking at me and the floor the entire conversation. "I mean... no, I'll just meet you at my place."

"You sure?" He said laughing again. "You aren't staying the night at your other boyfriend's house are you?" He asked, jokingly. Nevertheless, my face paled.

"Bella?" He echoed.

"Oh, no I'm here..."

"God I was just joking. You and your friend should go out for drinks so you can loosen up. Tell her to buy first round. But hey listen - I just wanted to call and say hi. We're on for tomorrow, yea?"

"Yeah, tomorrow, 9am."

"OK, love you Bells."

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone, staring at it for a moment before glancing up at Edward. His jaw was clenched and he didn't look happy.

**EPOV**

I couldn't be pissed. It wasn't right. She wasn't mine. She didn't answer to me. She belonged to... him. I sighed and let Bella into the elevator ahead of me. This wasn't going the way I wanted.

"Are you leaving?" I asked curtly, folding my arms across my chest and leaning against the wall. I couldn't look at her. She wasn't... fuck.

I could feel her watching me as she took a step closer. "Not unless you want me to."

I shook my head, "I don't. But I thought you might need to."

I felt her hand come up to cup my cheek, and I could see her smiling happily at me. "Then I'm yours until you have to go home."

I looked down at her, still not feeling quite right. "Until next Thursday?"

"Next Thursday?"

I nodded.

"Oh, um... well then, no. But I'm yours until 8 tomorrow morning."

I sighed, and leaned my head against the side of the elevator. "Are you sure you want to spend the night, then? I wouldn't want to get you in trouble."

"Edward, it's fine. But if you don't want me to stay, just let me know. I promise I won't be offended."

I shook my head and furrowed my brow. "I do want you to stay. I'm not asking you to leave, I just want it to be what you want. You sounded like you wanted to get back to someone on the phone."

"The only person I wanted to get back to when I was on the phone, was the person in front of me."

I sighed and the elevator opened onto my floor. We walked to my studio in silence, and I walked around the space thinking. "I'm sorry. I just don't know how to handle him... with you.... together."

She laughed coldly, and I almost shivered from the chill of it. " I know the feeling. When I saw you and Tanya interacting earlier, I came in here and just about had an aneurysm." She started, taking a deep breath. "But, I don't want to walk away from this."

I turned to her in disbelief. "I wasn't saying that."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at me. "Then I'm confused. What are you saying?"

I ran my hand through my hair turning back away from her. "That... I want that with you. As fucked up as this is, Bella, I don't regret it. And maybe that's why I react the way I do to you and... him. It just sucks when I realize that that's not what we have."

"You want what with me?" She asked, holding her breath.

I shrugged, watching the last bits of sun disappear over the horizon. "Something normal... something right. Something you don't have to hide. Something where it's me calling you on a break, and me having breakfast with you in the morning. Something where it's only you and me."

Shit I'd gone too far. It was too much and now it was too late to take it back.

I felt her move closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her cheek to my back. "Edward, what we have may not be normal, but it feels more right than anything I've ever felt before." I felt her suck in a shaky breath. I really didn't want her to cry. "But would you really be willing to leave a girl you've been with, been in love with for 7 years... for someone like me, who you don't love and barely know?"

I put my hands over hers. She was right; I didn't love her. But I felt like I could, someday. "If I knew we would last, there wouldn't be anything to keep me from you. Not even a seven year thing. But don't you wish it were different? Do you ever think about what would happen if I hadn't come back that night?" I did. I thought about it all the time. And in each scenario, I was miserable without her.

I felt her nod. "Of course I wish it were different Edward. I wish I could wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you every night, and have sex with you in every restaurant in Seattle without worrying about one of us getting caught by a significant other." She added, pressing a kiss into my back. " But I'd rather have _this _for all it's fucked up elements, than not have known you at all. So I thank my lucky stars that you did come back that night and I try not to think of the alternative."

That was the moment I realized I couldn't leave her. If we were destroyed, it would be because it was what she wanted and I'd let her go. I knew I didn't love Bella, but what scared me was that I realized that I might get there, and it wouldn't take any time at all. I turned around in her arms and tucked her head under my chin. "I want you to be comfortable."

"Then don't let me go." She whispered.

I kissed the top of her head. "I never want to."

She looked up at me and I kissed her fully on the lips. I was hers, fully and completely for now, as she was mine. I pushed her up against the window, letting my hands roam across her body and tugging at her skin, needing desperately to be close to her. "Mm, Edward..."

My name falling from her lips made me harder than ever, and I pushed my hips forcefully into her. "This.. this is what you do to me, Bella. Only you. Only ever you."

She moaned and tossed her head back, so I kissed my way down the column of her throat and across the cleavage that was peeking out of her v-neck top. "I think you're perfect, you know. The way your blush wanders down you neck and onto your tits... fuck, Bella. You're beautiful."

I reached down and pulled off her top, tossing it to the side, and leaving her in a white cotton bra. Sexiest piece of underwear on the planet. I wrapped my arms around the middle of her back, forcing her to arch into me so that my mouth could work over her. "Bella... baby... your skin tastes so fucking good-- like vanilla. It takes so much strength for me to tear my lips away from you."

Her hands pushed into my hair and she started rubbing my scalp, pushing me closer and closer into her chest. I undid her bra, and pulled away enough to toss it to the side before kissing across the same path as before, but this time pulling her nipple into my mouth and teasing it with my tongue.

"Fuck... Edward... Shit..."

I pulled away and switched to the other, letting my hand come up to keep company with the abandoned one. "Edward... Edward, please... no teasing. Please..."

I hummed against her breast, and smiled into her flesh. "If that's what you want, love."

She nodded vigorously, her eyes half hooded with lust.  
"I want that... I want you in me. I want... I want part of you."

I didn't know how to tell her that in that moment she had all of me. I pulled back and tore off my tee shirt, then pushed down my jeans, groaning as my hard on sprang free. I look up at her, and she was looking down at my cock. "Condom?" I whispered.

She nodded, never taking her eyes off me. "In my bag."I kicked off my jeans and rifled through her bag until I found it, and started to open it.

"Wait," Bella called, and when I looked up at her my breath caught in my throat. She'd disposed of her jeans, and was still pressed up against the window, her mouth slightly agape. She curled her fingers and motioned for me to come over. "I wanna do it."

I nodded, and went to her, handing her the package. I watched in awe as she removed the rubber, first blowing out the tip then putting it into her mouth. _Oh, god..._

she sank down on her knees, and put her hands on my ass and leaned in, taking my cock into her mouth and rolling on the condom. I closed my eyes and my head fell back as I felt her nose graze my pubic bone before she came back up, and released me with a pop. I pulled her up again and smashed her up against the wall. "That was the sexiest fucking thing you've ever done for me."

Her forehead found mine, and my cock brushed the inside of her thigh. "Hotter... hotter than the restaurant."

I nodded, and leaned in, delighting in the sensation of her lips brushing against mine. "Hotter. But you're perfect."

She moaned and I pressed my lips to hers, and hitched one of her legs over my hip and the tip of my cock pushed against her entrance. "Bella... Bella... my Bella. I want you... Always."

Her head leaned against mine and she dug her heel into my ass, pushing me into her. "Then have me."

I groaned as I felt my cock stretching her, and the way she was pressing her tits into me, was pure bliss. I gave her a moment to adjust before I started to thrust into her, not really easing into it, but trying to give her anything she's ever wanted in a lover. I wanted her to feel wanted, desired, and I supposed... loved. I groaned and grunted into the skin on her shoulder as she panted in my ear. "Oh, Edward... Edward... Oh... shit... I... baby, I'm gonna... fuck..."

I thrust into her harder and in every thrust I moved my pelvis in a circle against her clit making her shiver. "Come on, Baby... please, Bella... cum... on... my... cock... give it to me, Bella, let me see you cum."

Just like that, she tossed her head back and her pussy clamped down on my cock; so hard I could barely move. She started to relax a little, so I kept pushing into her, seeking my own release. "Fuck, Bella... so tight.." I moaned as I exploded into her, her head lolling against my shoulder. I eased my softening cock in and out of her, not completely ready to leave her warmth, and definitely not ready to leave these feelings behind. I reached behind me and gently released her leg, then pulling her down onto the ground with me. She wrapper her arms tightly around my neck and I held onto her for dear life. It felt like if I left her, I wouldn't even know who I was anymore. She was panting into my shoulder and reached up to push the hair from her forehead, placing a small kiss on the newly exposed skin.

"Don't ever leave."

"I can't walk away from you Edward."

I laughed a little, kissing her lovingly (_lovingly?!)_ on the forehead. "Well, I know that. I'm still inside you."

She ran her fingers through my hair, smiling up at me. "And that's where I'll always want you to be."

I leaned down and kissed her again, passionately as though kissing her was necessary for me to keep breathing... to keep living.

So what the fuck was I going to do when this all ended?


	7. Chapter 7

Sooooo, Kels. Am I a bad Twilightaholic because i laughed when I found out that Roberto got hit by a taxi? And the right after that I wondered if his junk was ok?

no because right after I saw the Life & Style that said that RPatz and KStew were an official couple my immediate thought when I heard about the cab incident was "insta-karma" for taking someone else's girl.

K good, cause if I had to stop writing because of that... I would cry.

Dude never. Don't even speak such blasphemous words. Or type... as it were.

Well, you know. Can't write this without you, though.

Psh you could write this shit without me, and blindfolded with one hand. It'd just take you longer to type it out :P But hey let's get down to business shall we? Last I checked SMeyer still owns these characters. What say you?

Uh, yeah. Mmk. Read yonder stuff... I heard it was good. Maybe good enough for you to leave a review? :)

* * *

**BPOV**

The alarm on my cell phone startled me awake at the ungodly hour of... 7:30.I groaned and stirred against Edward's chest as I tried to wake up. The grip his arms had on my waist tightened, and I felt his cheek scratch against my hair. He grumbled into my scalp and I tried to nudge myself away. I had an hour and a half to run home, shower, and pretend I hadn't had the best night of sex in my life the night before. I had almost pried all his fingers off my stomach when he reattached them and tugged me closer.

"Edward," I whispered as I turned my head in his direction. "Edward I've got to go home."

He mumbled something and dropped his head down to my chin. I couldn't help it, he looked too cute. I brushed my lips against his lightly. He eyes opened slightly, and I saw a hint of the green that I found myself getting lost in regularly. His lips curved into a tired smile. "Morning." He muffled through a mouth of sleep.

"Morning." I repeated, kissing his nose. He let out a puff of laughter and snuggled me closer to his body. I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stay... could I? No, of course not. _Remember Bella _I said to myself, _your BOYFRIEND is going to be at your apartment soon. You have to leave, stat. _I sighed, arguing with the voice in my head.

"Edward?" I whispered a little more loudly.

"Hm?" He murmured, his eyes back to being fully closed.

"You need to let go; I have to go home."

He murmured, his voice thick with sleep. "You are home."

I felt a tingle run down my spine at his words, and I melted. This man was both destroying the life I knew and making it shine in ways I never thought were possible. "Edward, I have to go back to my apartment."

He pulled me even closer to him and nuzzled my neck. "No. We're comfortable. Go back to sleep."

I laughed softly and sighed. I _was _comfortable and I did want to go back to sleep or at least continue enjoying the feel of Edward and I's skin-to-skin contact.

I closed my eyes, wishing what I was about to say wasn't true. "Edward, I have to go meet James."

He groaned and dropped his arms away from me rolling over and curling up to his pillow. "Okay."

It broke my heart, literally made it ache when I felt him pull away from me. And it fucking sucked that I was being pulled in two different directions and the one I wanted to follow wasn't the right decision. I couldn't do that to James, especially since we had been trying to work on things. _And apparently cheating on him was part of the healing process_. I cursed and berated myself as I gathered my clothes.

I sat in the bathroom, door open, staring at my phone then glancing towards Edward's bedroom.

There was only once choice I could live with.

"Hey babe! Did you want me to get you early?" I heard James' voice greet cheerfully.

"Um, no actually." I said staring at the tile floor. "Something came up, I can't meet you for breakfast."

"Something came up at 9 in the morning on a Sunday?"

"Mhm."

"Like what?" He asked, scoffing in disbelief.

I wanted to tell him then and there. James, I'm leaving you. I found somebody that cares about me and makes me laugh and puts up with my shit and blows my mind in bed.

"Just something, alright?" I snapped back rudely. Yeah, great answer Bella, way to go.

"Jesus Bella, all you had to say was that you got your red baron and that you'd be a nag all day." He replied. What? He thought... he thought me snapping at him was because of PMS? I almost laughed into the phone.

"Yeah, well for working at a hospital you're not very sensitive to it."

"That's because I think PMS is a load of horseshit that women use as an excuse to be bitches." I rolled my eyes. This, _this _is what I was ultimately stuck with once Edward and Tanya got married?

I just sighed into the phone. "Anyway, I gotta go. I'm sorry about this morning."

"Don't be." He replied coolly. "Thanks for the heads up. The last thing I need this morning is to put up with you being a hag." Yeah, he was made of gold; cheap, fake gold that turned your finger green.

"I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah I'll call you in a couple days once I'm back to a normal sleep schedule. Love you."

I hummed into the phone, still staring at the same piece of tile I'd been fixated on all conversation. We hung up and I shut my phone, taking a deep breath and looked up.

Edward.

He was propped up against the door frame, scratching his jaw. "I thought you were leaving."

I shook my head. "I, um... just had to call James... to cancel."

He sniffed as if completely apathetic to my decision. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I decided that the only thing I wanted to do this Sunday, and every Sunday as long as it can happen... is spend the day under the blankets with you."

Before I could argue, his arms wrapped around me, hoisting me up to his chest as we walked back towards the main hallway. "Then come back to bed." He replied, walking us into his bedroom and plopping me down onto his bed as he moved around to the other side and pulled me to him.

Yeah, definitely the better decision. I sighed, turning to face him. His fingers tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear and his thumb gently moved along my cheek, while his other arm wrapped around my hip, pressing me tightly against his body.

"I want you to stay."

"I'm not going anywhere." I responded, looping my arms around his neck and pressing my chest against his. I felt him take in a sharp breath and I softly brushed my lips against his. No, this was definitely the only place I wanted to be.

He swept a few stray strands of hair away from my face and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Go back to sleep. It's too fucking early."

I tilted my head up pressed my lips against his decidedly, swiping my tongue along his bottom lip. Despite his request, his mouth responded immediately pulling it in and sucking on it lightly. Our lips moved against each others' effortlessly. It was like my lips were meant to mold against his. After a few moments, he leaned his head back, pulling his lips from mine as his chest heaved up and down. His eyes looked down into mine affectionately as he whispered, "This... is not sleeping."

I raised one of my eyebrows. "So you oppose the action?"

He smirked pulling me closer to his body and rubbing his face into my hair. "No. I've just noticed that it isn't sleep."

"Good observation there, captain obvious." I laughed quietly as my lips kissed along the column of his neck, lightly sucking on his Adam's apple.

"I think... I should keep you till Thursday."

"You do, huh?" I smirked into his skin, kissing his clavicle.

I felt his arms pulse around me as his hands began tracing lines up and down my spine. I shivered from his light touches and mumbled, "mhm. Definitely. I'd miss you too much if you left before then."

My heart melted and I sighed softly, pulling my head away from under his to look at him at eye level. I needed to feel him, not inside me but just... _him_. I secured my arms around his neck, my hands almost touching my elbows as I moved to press all of my skin against all of his. I hitched my thigh over his hip and pressed my hips into his lower stomach. I felt his arms grip my back tighter and I exhaled slowly as he traced circles soothingly on my back with his thumbs. I buried my face in his neck nuzzling it with my wasn't about fucking him, or how amazing it felt when I came around him. This was about needing him, needing to commit to memory the feel of his skin against mine, because who knew when this would end.

**EPOV**

Something felt right about being wrapped up in Bella, and that something had me completely scared. As I held her in my arms, and the morning light became harder and harder to ignore, I tried to think that at some point I'd felt this way about Tanya. I had to have. I felt Bella sigh into my skin, forcing her face even farther into the crook of my neck. Tanya never held me like this while we slept. She'd start out in my arms, but travel away from me over the course of the night. Not Bella, though. She clung to me as though I'd leave, were she to loosen her grip. It made me feel like she needed me, like she wanted me to fix the things that were going wrong in her life.

Too bad her problems weren't mine to fix.

I pulled away enough so that I could kiss the top of her head, to which she seem to cling tighter. I smoothed my hands across her bare back, and nuzzled into her hair. "Baby? You up?"

"Mhm."

I smiled into her hair, rubbing her legs against mine. "I'm glad you stayed."

I felt her lips press into the skin on my shoulder. "Me too."

"How come?" I asked, kissing lightly across her forehead.

"The idea of leaving you this morning... I couldn't... it was easier for me walk away from a day with James than a morning with you."

Fuck, that said some shit. She was... into this; into us. What the hell was going to happen when we had to give it up? Fuck. "You're only staying the morning?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I guess I just assumed you had plans today."

"Do you want me to have plans? Do you have to meet him later?" Just the thought of him being near her made my stomach turn.

She shook her head, inadvertently nuzzling into the crook of my neck. "No, he works tonight and tomorrow night."

I squeezed her tighter. "You'll stay then?"

"Til when?"

Forever? Was forever too long? Probably. I kissed a spot just in front of her ear. "Until you absolutely have to leave."

"Well... your studio _is _closer to my work. Maybe I'll go grab some clothes later at my place for work tomorrow and stay the night? Is that OK?"

"That's more than alright." I adjusted my grip on her and realized that I was slowly becoming dependent on Bella and her company. Just the mention of her leaving was enough to make my chest hurt all over again. I didn't want to be apart from her, but at the same time I knew that eventually I'd have to be. She wouldn't want me forever, and I probably wouldn't want her either. This would turn into exactly the same thing I had with Tanya, and I really didn't need two of those.

"Favorite romantic comedy?"

"Serendipity. You?"

"Uh, How to lose a Guy in Ten Days. Bra or no bra?"

"No bra whenever possible, which is pretty much only in bed, the shower and at the beach. Favorite actor? dead or alive."

"Steve McQueen. Ultimate bad-ass. Cuddle me or Fuck me."

"Ah, the question of the ages..." She said, laughing softly. "How about either one, as long as I get to feel your skin against mine?"

I smirked and pushed myself into her. "I like being with you, you know. Despite everything, I really do love it when you're around."

She pulled away a little and smiled up at me. "Despite everything? Am I normally a complete 'tard to be around?"

"No, I just meant... with our situation. It could be tough, you know? But somehow, we keep making it back to each other."

"I'd like to think that if it was tough to be around each other, we'd have the sense not to risk as much as we are for a fuck."

I shook my head into her hair, "No, that's not what I meant. I was only saying that the... sneaking around, it could be tough. I really... I like spending time with you Bella, and even if I wasn't getting laid, I'd still want to spend time with you." Fuck, did that sound okay?

She smiled and turned her head so that her lips were hovering over mine. "Then I guess you're just lucky that you get a decent lay on top of good conversation." She said before kissing me.

"No. I'm lucky because I get you."

She laughed and rolled her eyes a little at me. "That's sweet Edward, but you already got me naked and in your bed. You don't have to say that."

I sighed and rubbed my nose to hers. "I don't have to; but I want to."

She leaned in and kissed my upper lip. "So do we get to hide under the blankets all day?"

"If you want."

"Well since I'm intruding on your day, is there anything you needed to do?"

"Hold you. Kiss you. Fuck you." Love you. Wait, what?

"All of which can be done while hiding under the blankets." She said with a wide smile.

I grinned back at her then pushed my face into her shoulder, kissing and licking at the skin there. The more time I spent with Bella, the more I realized that this is what my life had been missing all along: someone to talk to and someone who wanted me for who I was, not just because I looked pretty beside her. I kissed the side of her neck, tracing my nose over the spot. "Baby, thank you."

"For what?" She asked, her voice heavy with impending sleep.

"Being with me."

She sighed and snuggled into me, resting her head on my chest. "Always, Edward. I want to... always."

I rested my cheek on top of her head, and let sleep take over as I began to wonder just how long 'always' might be. "Always could be a long time, love."

**BPOV**

I twisted my body slightly, slowing waking up. My eyes fluttered open as they adjusted to the bright gray of the Seattle day streaming through the curtains. Somehow during our little post first way up nap, Edward and I had managed to untangle ourselves and readjust with him holding me. Laying there, I really didn't think I could ever grow tired of waking up to him holding me like this. I leaned forward, trying to take a peek at the clock on the nightstand. His arms quickly tightened around my waist, just as a I got a glimpse of the time. "Hey, where are you going?" He mumbled into my hair with a mouth full of sleep. I curled back against him, putting my hands over his on my stomach. "No where, just checking the time." He hummed into my hair, placing a soft kiss on my head. "Okay." I laughed quietly against him, "it's almost 11."

"You got a hot date?"

"Obviously," I breathed out as I felt his lips scrape against my neck.

He smacked his lips together loudly and rolled over, his back facing me. "'Kay. Bye."

My head turned to look at him, staring at the ceiling and smirking. I shrugged. "K, well thanks for last night. I'm gonna go sleep with my other other boyfriend now." I chided, scooting towards the edge of the bed and sitting up.

"lock the door on your way out, baby." He replied chuckling quietly.

I stood up and started dressing, all the while facing him. His face seemed to drop a little more as I layered the clothes on. When I was done, I knelt over on the bed and kissed his cheek because I didn't trust kissing his lips. "OK, I'll see you soon yea?"

"You will?"

"Well, soon-ish. We'll talk in a few days?"

"Wait, what? No, Baby, I didn't--"

I laughed internally. He wanted to start this, it was my job to see it through. "No, it's okay. I should get going. Maybe we can plan to hook up in a week or two?" No joke, my heart dove into my stomach at saying that, even though I was just joking. The idea of not seeing Edward for that long made my skin crawl.

He sat up, propping himself up on his elbows looking confused. "A week or two?"

"Mhm." I confirmed, edging off the bed and walking towards the door.

"But... but... the bed and the blankets... and the fucking..." He said as his eyes shot from me to the bed back to me as if trying to find the disconnect.

The reminder of our plans for the day almost had me turning around. "I'll see you later Edward!" I yelled as I approached the front door. "I'll lock up like you asked!" And with that left his apartment and raced down the stairs to grab us sustenance.

**EPOV**

Wait... what?

I flopped back down on the bed, and ran my hands over my eyes. She just... left me. For a week or two? What the hell?

What a tease. She taunts me with beds and blankets and sex and then leaves me. For someone else? For... James? Or really, someone else. I groaned and rolled onto my side, burying my face in her pillow. It never occurred to me that I wasn't the only one, but then again why would I be? Wasn't she just as capable of playing me as I was her?

Yes, definitely.

**BPOV**

It occurred to me when I was in line at the cozy little brunch place I often visited when Emmett came to visit and I had someone to go to brunch with, that I didn't know anything about Edward really. Did he drink coffee or tea? Pastry or bagel? Bacon or Sausage? Eggs or no eggs? I decided to forgo the eggs when I ordered but I decided to get just about everything else. Bacon, sausage, thick sliced grilled ham, toast, bagel, muffins, pastries... the entire kitchen sink. By the time I left nearly half an hour had passed and I had two very heavy bags full of food. I made my way back up to his place in the elevator, thinking of how amazing Edward was. How could Tanya not see that? I couldn't get enough of him and yet, she seemed to never be around. Or maybe it was him that was evasive and never around her. Maybe I was just a side project to steer him from boredom but still an excuse to duck out from Tanya? I shook my head, trying to clear it as I approached his door and knocked.

None of the 'whys' mattered; the important thing was the 'who'. And when the who began and ended with Edward, nothing else seemed to matter.

**EPOV**

I opened the door slowly, and was completely shocked to see Bella on the other side with two big bags in her hands. I shook my head and took them from her, tossing them to the side, then pulling her into my arms "Don't ever do that to me again." I whispered into her skin.

Her arms wrapped around my neck and she started kissing lazily across the bare skin of my shoulder. "You really think I could go two weeks without seeing you?"

I sighed and pulled her up a little so that her toes barely grazed the floor. "Maybe. But I know I can't go that long without you."

"Edward," she whispered, her breath hot against my skin. "I don't want to have to go two days without you."

I leaned into her, and kissed her neck. "Then don't."

I held her like that for a little while longer, then set her gently on her feet. "What'd you buy?"

"Breakfast." Her face fell slightly. "But I didn't know if you wanted coffee or tea."

I rolled my eyes, smirking at her and took the bags over to the counter and started unpacking them. "Bella... what the hell did you do? Rob a farm?" She literally had everything you could possibly think of in these bags.

"Well... I just didn't know what you liked. After today I'll know so when I grab breakfast for us next weekend I won't order everything."

I raised an eyebrow and looked up from a plastic container of... grits? "Next weekend?"

She blushed immediately. "I mean... I was hoping.. never mind."

Alright. That was enough of that. I hoisted myself up onto the counter and crawled over to her. I was on my knees in front of her, and I took her face in my hands. I smiled down at her, running my thumbs over her cheek bones, trying to push down her blush. "I just told you not to go, didn't I?"

"For today, yeah."

She could be ridiculously stubborn when she wanted to be. She wanted think that I didn't want her, and nothing I could say would pull her out of it. "Hmm, what can I do to make you see that I never want you to leave?"

"Then just tell me you feel the same way I do." She said, looking down at her lap, but smiling nonetheless.

I smiled down at her, completely in awe of the girl in front of me. It really made me wonder why I'd wasted so much time with Tanya. I leaned it, brushing my lips against hers. "Bella, I'm holding everything I've ever wanted in my hands right now. Don't ever go. Not ever."

She closed the gap and kissed the corner of my mouth. "Edward, don't tell me that you have a King Henry the 8th complex and like your girls best beheaded."

I dropped her face and rolled my eyes. "Oh, God, Bella!"

She laughed then wrapped her arms around my neck, crashing her lips to mine. I smiled into her lips and put my hands back on her face trying to get as close to her as I could, seeing as I was sitting on the counter top. Eventually, I sat on my ass, and pulled her in between my legs so that she could hold onto my waist and move with me. In those moments, I realized that this could end up breaking us before she ever found out about Tanya and James-- if she didn't think I wanted her, we'd never survive.

But wait.

Why did I want us to?

**BPOV**

I wished I knew how to better express my hesitation when he said things like he wanted me to always stay, never go... etc. It wasn't insecurity on my part; it was the reality of our situations. And the reality was that he was engaged. Not simply in a relationship, but on the brink of committing to a life forever with someone else. So how could he say those things to me too, and mean them?

I pulled my lips away and pressed my forehead against his. "We should eat something before my stomach decides to challenge you to a duel for attention."

He smirked, hopping off the counter as he proclaimed arrogantly. "I'd win."

My arms wrapped around his waist again, looking up at him with a grin. "You're mighty sure of yourself."

He nodded pressing his forehead to mine. "When it comes to you."

I laughed, taking a step back. "Oh yeah? And why's that?"

"Cause I want you." He replied with a shrug as his arms pulled me back to press flatly against him.

"Well... good then." I replied unsure of how to respond to his words. I brushed against his shoulder and walked around the counter to pick at a container full of fresh fruit. "So, coffee or tea?"

"Coffee. Please."

I laughed quietly, looking up at him from where I had been glancing at the vast array of food we had. I did really buy every thing on the menu - except eggs and beverages. "You sound like I have some to offer. I didn't know which you wanted and I didn't have enough hands to carry all the food plus drinks, so I didn't get anything."

He sidestepped around me and walked over to a row of cupboards opening one and motioning to it with his head. "I have some. What would you like, love?"

"Coffee for me too, please." My eyes raked over his boxer-clad form as he went to work making the coffee. He caught me ogling his barely dressed body and chuckled shaking his head. "See something you like?" I nodded, biting my lip. "Should I turn off the coffee then?" He asked, turning the corner of his mouth up into a devilish smirk. I shook my head 'no' but waved him over by flexing my index finger. He pressed the 'on' button for Coffeemate and took two strides towards me, pinning me against the counter top.

His lips were on mine in a flash and I mewed into him as I felt his tongue glide along my lip, begging for entrance to which I quickly complied. My hands roamed up and down his sides tenderly as his hands cupped my face. My fingers wandered down to the edge of his boxers tugging at the waistband and dragging them down until they fell and pooled at his feet. My hand gripped his shaft tightly, squeezing the pre-cum from his tip; my thumb swirled it around his head and down his cock as my hand began pumping up and down on his length. He groaned into my mouth and pushed my back harder against the counter. His lips pulled away from me and he rubbed his nose against mine as his breath became shorter and shorter.

"Baby... I don't have a condom here. We have to go back--"

"Edward, let me please you. Let me do this, just for you. Please." I whispered as I continued to stroke his hard on in a quick, firm motion. He let out a whoosh of air against my shoulder before I felt him nod against it. I smiled and began to pump faster. "Edward, tell me you want to cum for me."

"Baby, you..." I heard him gulp down a mouthful of air before he finished, "you make my dick twitch just by looking at me, and when I cum - when you _make me _cum, it's always harder than any other time before." He panted into the crook of my neck. My thumb swiped along his tip again, drawing circle firmly against his head.

"Edward, you make me so wet all I want is you buried in me constantly. Thrusting in me with your amazing cock as often as you can because there is no better feeling than when you make me cum and I explode around you." I murmured into his ear as my hand tightened its grip around him.

"Fuck, Bella... shit... I'm so close." He moaned, thrusting his hips into my hand. My hand picked up speed around his shaft, and my lips attached to his neck biting down. "Then cum for me Edward, do it... cum for me. I need to feel you cum, please baby. For me." I cooed before sucking the spot on his neck I had just bitten.

"Bella... FUCK!" He groaned pressing his forehead roughly into my shoulder. He let out a few short gasps and thrust his hips up into my hand one last time before I felt his cum spurt out and dribble down my hand and forearm. I smiled into his skin and placed a soft kiss just below his ear. "You're incredible Edward."

**EPOV**

I was panting into her shoulder like an idiot and she was telling me that I was incredible? Uh, no. "Love... Love, you are. That's... that was... amazing, Bella."

She smirked into my skin and released me, "Yeah, still you."

I looked down at her cum covered arm and quickly cleaned her up. "What did you want to do today?" I asked, tossing the towel as she washed her hands.

"I thought we had a plan... cuddling... fucking..."

I smiled to myself at the mention of our plan. It was the best fucking plan of all time. Literally. I turned back to her, and her eyes went wide as she took me in. "W-why are you looking at me like that?"

I grinned and walked over to her, slowly. "Baby..."

She quirked and eyebrow. "Edward..."

"I'm gonna getcha." With that I lunged for her, quickly hauling her over my shoulder as she squealed and carrying her to the bedroom. I threw her down on the bed and her eyes grew dark. I wanted to play. She was my mouse.

"Bella, you got me off in the kitchen." She gulped and nodded. I leaned over her, pressing my body against hers and traced the tip of my nose along her jaw as I murmured, "So tell me, love: Did that make you wet?"

I moaned and pushed her fingers into my hair. "So... so wet. So wet for you Edward... only you."

Fuck, I loved it when she said that. Only me. Only _I_ could do this for her. I felt my cock desperately attempting to come alive. I leaned back into her, my lips grazing her skin as I spoke: "Then strip, Baby. I want to see."

I backed off of her and she quickly threw off her sweater and bra while I pulled off her underwear and jeans. She was sexier than she ever fucking knew. Her legs were up, bent, and spread as she lay in front of me, her chest rising and falling quickly in anticipation. I think... I think that this might have been my favorite part; just knowing that I was about to make her mine... it was a fucking awesome power. I leaned back into her and kissed the inside of each knee before hiking both of her legs over my shoulders so I was perfectly situated in front of her sopping wet pussy. "Oh, my Bella... so, so wet..."

"Ung.... Edward..." Her hands moved to my hair and she flexed her fingers. I kissed her wet lips softly at first before parting them with my fingers and diving in. I licked my way from her tight entrance to her clit, circling it before cycling back down. I went slowly and surely, making sure I spread around as much of her wetness as I could before moving my mouth to her clit and sucking on it. "Oh.... Edwardddd..." She moaned, bucking off the bed as her nipples hardened.

I smiled into her skin and deftly pushed two fingers into her, starting to thrust once I felt her tight heat relax around me. She was so fucking perfect and she didn't even know it. The way she moaned my name, and moved with me while I was inside her was indescribable-- it was far more powerful and awesome than anything else I had ever experienced.

"Edward... Edward... faster... harder... FUCK!" She wailed as I started pressing my fingers even more fervently into her, curling them as I found her G-Spot and pressed into it. I kept sucking greedily on her clit as she bucked into me even faster. I knew she was close; I could taste it on her.

"Mmm, Bella..." I murmured, replacing my tongue with the fingers from my other hand and pressing down on it. "Baby, I want you to cum on my hand. I want to feel your juices come dripping out of you and down my hand as you moan and scream for me. Please, Baby... give me that. Baby, cum for me."

"SHIT EDWARD FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed, pressing her core into my face as I sucked hard on her clit and pressed my fingers to her G-spot. I loved making her come undone. It was the best. Hands down. I slowed my fingers inside of her, eventually pulling them out completely as I placed light kisses on her quivering lips, then up her stomach to her breasts, then neck. I reached her lips and hovered there, taking in the lust filled gaze she was shooting my way. "You have no idea how much you make me want you."

She leaned up and pressed her lips to mine, and I could feel her tongue licking at my lips. She pulled away, licking her own thoughtfully. "So that's what I taste like..."

I stared at her in disbelief. She just... tasted herself on me. Fuck, that shit was hot. I pushed myself back over to her, smashing her lips to my own hungrily.

"You're perfect, Bella." I whispered after pulling away. "Absolutely perfect."

She rolled her eyes, smiling as she ran her hands through my hair. "We've been over this."

I leaned down and kissed her cheeks, then traced the line of them with my forefinger. "I know. But it's true every time."

She laughed and I let her push me over so that she was straddling my hips and her face was centimeters from mine. "And what makes you the authority?"

I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, before I gave in and pulled her to me so that I could feel her heart beating against my chest. "I have you, and you're sheer perfection."

**BPOV**

I blushed, hiding it by pressing my lips against his. _This _was what being intimate was supposed to feel like. My body was consistently on fire whenever Edward's skin would touch mine; his lips sending chills down my back from every kiss. "Baby.." he whispered against my lips as he pulled ours apart, "I don't think my dick knows that it needs recovery time when it comes to you." I laughed softly, "oh really?"

He nodded, taking one of my hands that had re-tangled in his hair hair, and moved it down to his cock. Yep, he was right, hard as a rock. His hand moved from where it rested over mine and reached for a condom. "Last one," I said as I watched his hand blindly feel for the wrapper. We'd had sex 12 times in a little over 12 hours, not counting the break time we took for sleep. He groaned as he finally grabbed it. "We'll have to make another run then, because I'm not ready to stop after this." I loved that; it seemed like his body craved mine the way mine did his, it was like we were meant to fit.

He sat up suddenly, resting his back against the headboard and pulling me with him. "I want to try this way, that way I can be closer and feel more of you." He whispered, brushing his lips over my neck. I sighed and nodded, lifting my hips so he could slide the condom onto his shaft. I bent my knees higher up, closer to his lower stomach and wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers immediately shooting into his hair and tugging. He closed his eyes and let out a quiet growl as his hands roamed my sides and back, finally cupping my ass and lifting me so I hovered just above his cock. One of his hands dropped to his length as I rubbed my lips against his tip, adding lubrication. Even just the slightest feel of him like this had my pussy dripping with anticipation.

"Fuck Bella... so wet." He puffed out, tilting his head back against the bed frame. My lips trailed hot open mouthed kisses up along the column of his neck and across his jaw. "Only for you Edward. Only you make me this wet, only you get me _this _turned on. Always for you; this, me... my body is always and only for you." I panted into his ear as I slowly sank onto his pulsating cock. He grunted and thrust his hips up, impaling my pussy and forcing me to take him in hard and deep. I let out a loud moan and felt him still, allowing me time to adjust. Even after our marathon night, he still seemed to stretch me out. "God Bella, you're so tight." He said into my shoulder, lowering his lips to suck on my collar bone. With the new sitting position, I could press my chest against his fully and still hit every one of my sweet spots, so I did.

His head lifted and he rammed his lips against mine hungrily, not waiting for permission as his tongue dove into my mouth and grasped for my tongue. I began moving on his shaft in quick shallow thrusts, as we alternated moans. My hand fisted his hair, occasionally tugging on it - eliciting a growl from him each time. That was so amazing; that I could do that to him, that I could turn him on like this. His hands slid up to my hips and he shoved me down onto him, taking all of his length. My lips tore from his and I tilted my head back, screaming, "UNGH!! EDWARD!!!" He stilled me there for a moment as I circled my hips, feeling him in every part of me. "Fuck baby, you feel so good... you're perfect." He panted, rubbing my hip bones with his thumbs.

Our lips reconnected and I began bouncing on his shaft hard and fast. I was getting closer and closer to the edge, and I think he sensed it. "Baby, cum for me. Let me feel you squeeze all the cum from my cock. Baby please, I want to go over with you." He breathed between planting featherlight kisses on down my neck. I hummed against his temple. "Baby cum with me, explode in me... I need your cum Edward." His hips started pumping against mine faster. His hand laid flat against my pelvis as his thumb dipped down and rubbed frantic circles against my clit. "SHIT EDWARD! I'm... I'm..... UNGH!!!" I screamed, arching my back as I felt my walls tighten around him. "FUCK BELLA!" He yelled, as he continued to thrust into me. "Shit... I'm... fuck... I'm cumming for you baby. Shit... BELLLLLLA!" He groaned, before devouring my lips and going completely still as he spilled into the condom. That was the best sound in the world. Hearing Edward moan my name, hearing that I could make him cum that hard... it was the best thing ever. I rocked my hips against him methodically, letting both of us come down slowly from our orgasms.

I rolled off of him slowly, finding myself back in his arms in an instant. His lips pressed into my hair and he nuzzled his nose into the top of my scalp. "Are you sure we have to leave the house today?" He murmured. I nodded. "We need condoms, and I need clothes for work tomorrow."

"Well should we make a go of it then? I'm not sure how long I can have you pressed up against me naked, and not have my dick respond." I let out a puff of air and rolled my eyes, turning to face him. "You're ridiculous, you know that?" I smirked. He grinned back and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Maybe so, but it's only because I can't resist you."

I felt my heart flutter and my cheeks pinken. One of his hands slid up my body and cupped my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. His bright green eyes stared into mine as he whispered, "god Bella, how did I get this lucky?" I felt my cheeks go a shade darker and his smile grew as his lips lowered to mine and ghosted over them lightly, teasingly, before going back over them and kissing me more fully.

A heavy make out session, two separate showers (both cold) and some time later, we were finally pulling out of his studio's parking garage on the way to my apartment. His right hand was on my thigh, scratching it lightly. I put my hand over his and clasped my fingers between his. His face turned to mine for a moment and he smiled, pulsing his hand. He moved our hands together to turn on his car's stereo which was connected to his ipod. I heard a familiar intro and he slid his hand from mine to skip ahead. I pulled my hand off of his to smack his hand away from the mp3 player.

"Edward, stop. I like that song." He chuckled, seemingly amused. "You like Black Sabbath?"

I nodded. "Yeah I grew up on 70s rock. It's all my dad listens to." When we had reached a red light he turned to look at me, with raised eyebrows. "Really?"

"Mhm. Black Sabbath, Journey, Kiss, Aerosmith... all of it." He laughed to himself and shook his head. "Wow, impressive. Your dad and I should trade collections some day."

I bit my lip and nodded. "If you like 70s rock, then he would definitely love that."

"Would you?" He asked sounding hesitant, as his eyes fixated back on the road and he drove through the green light.

My fingers laced with his again and I brought his hand up to my lips, kissing it tenderly. "I think I would." He glanced at me again for a split second and I saw the relief in his face. "Then it sounds like a date."

"Oh so now you want to date my dad too?" I joked, trying to lift some of the thickness from the conversation and everything it had so far implied.

"If he's just as amazing as you, I might have to." He chided, squeezing my hand and smirking. He reached over pressing play and resuming the song on his iPod.

I once again heard the familiar intro and couldn't help myself. "I feel unhappy, I feel so saaaad, I've lost the best friend... that I'll ever have. She was my woman, I love her so... but it's too late now, I've let her goooooo." I sang, laughing to myself at his visibly shocked expression. "Will you ever stop getting more perfect, Bella?"

I shrugged. "Listening to Black Sabbath hardly makes me perfect."

"You're right, alone it wouldn't. But when combined with who you are and everything I know about you so far, it just adds to my conclusion that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me; and thus, perfect."

I felt the blush reappear on my face, and looked down at my lap where our hands were entwined, smiling to myself. How do you respond to that? I pulsed my hand in his and leaned my head against the window. All of this was getting better and better but at the same time even messier.

The realities hadn't changed; I was still with James and he was still engaged to Tanya. But how much longer could we keep doing this? How much longer before it reached the point where I began to fall in love with this man beside me? It'd just been over a week, and yet it seemed like months or years. Everything seemed to be moving too fast. Why wasn't he slowing us down? Because I sure as hell didn't have the strength (nor desire, if I was being completely honest) to do it myself.

**EPOV**

She got quiet after I told her she was perfect for the thousandth time. Yeah, it was probably over kill, but at the same time, it was definitely the truth. At least, she was my version of perfect. I pulled into the parking area of her apartment and she tugged my hand to get my attention.

"There's a CVS down the road. Why don't you go grab the condoms while I get my stuff."

I nodded and leaned over to kiss her. I almost said no, I realized. I almost didn't want to let her go anywhere without me. What the hell was happening? She smiled at me one more time before getting out and heading in. I waited until she was out of sight before I pulled away. Part of me was freaking out that I was so dependent on her for things; that I wanted Bella around as often as possible. But the other part-- and I was starting to feel this part becoming more dominant-- felt like this was right. It was almost as though things with Bella were falling into place, and that was exactly the way it should be. As I pulled into the CVS parking lot, I realized that if I didn't do something now and Bella did leave that I wouldn't be able to stay with Tanya. I knew now what being with someone was supposed to be like. I couldn't go back to nothing; not again.

I quickly found my way to the family planning aisle when I felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out quickly, thinking it was Bella, but instead I was just confused.

"Jasper?"

He laughed into the phone. "I hope you don't answer the phone like that all the time."

I shook my head and picked up a box of trojans. "No, just when it's you. What's up?"

He sighed, and I could almost see him leaning back. "Not too much. But listen, you up to anything tonight?"

Fucking Bella. "I was going to take my new assistant to dinner or something. She was really excellent yesterday, despite me." I'll say.

Jasper laughed again. "Your assistant, huh? And how does T feel about this?"

It always gave me kind of an uneasy feeling that Jasper and Tanya used to be best friends. That is, until Alice. Alice told me once that she'd seen it, too. That weird chemistry that was between them. It made me wonder for a while if I hadn't been with my brother's sloppy seconds all along. "I'm assuming she doesn't care. She's in Hong Kong."

"Hong Kong, huh? Well, listen, if you'd like I have two tickets to the Mariners game tonight. Maybe you could take your... assistant."

I grabbed two boxes and headed to the check out. "Uh, yeah, Bella would like that I think."

"Would she now? Interesting. Why don't you come by and pick up the tickets. Say, an hour from now?"

I rolled my eyes and put the boxes on the counter and the kid started cashing me out. "Yeah, sure. See you then."

"Be good, now, little brother."

I hung up on him. I did not need a lecture as I was buying condoms so that I could continue the three day sex-capades I had going on with my... Bella. I paid the kid and realized I had no clue what Bella was. I had a girlfriend, so she wasn't that and it didn't seem right to call her my mistress because she was definitely more than that. But it felt weird calling her my Bella all the time. First off (technically) she wasn't and secondly, not everybody had a Bella. It wasn't like a universal thing.

Honestly it's kind of embarrassing when you can't even spend fifteen fucking minutes away from the other person without thinking about them constantly. But that is what Bella had done to me. I'd grown completely dependent on her company.

I had let myself get in too deep.

I drove back to her apartment, and she was waiting out side, bag in hand. She got in and immediately wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. "I missed you." She told me as she pulled away.

"I missed you," I countered, turning out onto the street. "Hey, Bella? You wanna go to a baseball game tonight?"

She turned back to me and smiled, "Yeah, sure. How did you get tickets so fast?"

"My brother. He has season tickets, and he can't go tonight so he called and asked if I wanted them."

"Sounds like fun."

I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "Love you'll be there; of course it'll be fun."

**BPOV**

"So did he leave the tickets at will call?" I asked as I noticed he was hopping on the freeway.

"Not exactly," he began a bit apprehensively. "He wants us to go pick them up at his house." I felt my heart rate double, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He paused for a moment, as if rethinking his decision. "Yeah, no... it'll be fine. Like I said, I think you and Jasper will really get along." Not if he knows I'm sleeping with his brother who's engaged to his friend from college, I thought to myself. I mustered up the biggest smile I could and nodded. "Okay then, I trust you."

He smiled and reached for my hand, resting it on the console between us as his thumb drew lazy patterns on the top of my hand. "Are you sure you're okay with this? If you'll e uncomfortable, I'll go by myself."

"No, no. If you think it'll be okay then I'll go. I just don't want to make you uncomfortable." I took a deep breath, relaxing and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was about to meet his older brother and his family. "So... how much does Jasper know exactly?"

He shrugged as if this was no big deal, me meeting his family. "I told him you were my assistant. So my friend, I would say."

I nodded, trying to ignore the stabbing sensation in my chest. So this was the lie; it was spreading not only to our significant others but friends and family now. "Okay."

His thumb traced calming circles over the back of my hand as he turned to glance at me quickly. "Hey, are you sure you're okay? Cause really, I want you to be okay. That's all I care about. I can call him back and say no, if you want."

"No, no it's okay. I'm good." I replied, smiling faintly as Edward turned into a driveway that was lined with two steel-rod gates. He drove up a ways towards a huge blue-jay colored home, pulling up right to the porch and shut off the car. "You ready?"

I gulped down the vomit that had risen my throat and nodded. "Mhm... your assistance slash friend... got it... I'm ready." He squeezed my hand reassuringly, "good because they're watching you through the window." He commented offhandedly before unlocking the doors and stepping out quickly. He practically hopped to the front door, ringing the bell before I had even had a chance to comment. I got out a bit more slowly and walked up the few steps to the porch to stand a little more than arm's length away. I really wanted to reach for his hand, to seek out that comfort, but I couldn't. Not now that the game had begun.

The door swung open and a petite black haired girl stood in the doorway, holding a baby on her hip. "Edward!" She squealed as her face lit up and she gave him a quick one armed hug, readjusting the baby on her side. He smiled, "hey Alice..." he greeted before turning to the baby boy in her arms. "Hey little man!" He cooed, reaching out for him. Alice lifted the baby with both her arms handing him over to Edward, who cradled him in the arms lovingly. "And who's this?" Alice asked as we stepped through the foyer and her eyes fixated on me. "Alice, um, this is my assistant Bella. Bella this is my sister-in-law Alice." I extended my hand but instead her smile grew and she lunged at me, wrapping me up in a hug. "It's great to meet you Bella." I patted her back awkwardly as she pulled away. "You too Alice. You have a beautiful home."

"Oh god, don't go around complimenting her like that, she'll just give you a full tour and point out all the designers she stole ideas from." A soft voice echoed from a room beside us. All of us turned, though Alice was the first to speak as the tall, curly haired man stepped out into the hall where we had all gathered. "Honey stop, I would not. Though a tour would be great for our guest, don't you think?" She asked looking up at him playfully. He lowered his head, kissing her forehead. "Whatever you want darling." She beamed, and for a moment I wondered if that's how I looked, when it was just Edward and I.

"Bella, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Jasper, Edward's brother. He's told me so much about you." He introduced, extending his hand. I shook it smiling as I nodded. "Likewise. Edward speaks very highly of you. In fact, you were the primary topic of conversation yesterday after Edward wrapped up his shoot."

"Oh, so you really are his assistant then?" He laughed, glancing at Edward and giving him a knowing look. I turned to see Edward who was obviously trying to avoid the conversation and was paying full attention to the baby. "Edward?" Jasper repeated, trying to get his attention. His head shot up and looked over at his brother. "What Jas? Sorry it's just Max has gotten so big since the last time I saw him."

"I know, I can't believe he's almost two!" Alice exclaimed, wrapping her arms around herself. "We're planning a big party for the event. Oh Bella you should come!" I laughed a little bit and smiled. "If it's okay with Edward, and he doesn't have a shoot that day."

"Oh pish! I told Edward the date months ago, and made him promise not to have anything booked for that weekend."

"The entire weekend?" I asked in disbelief. She nodded. "We're going up to our lake house for the weekend for 4th of July and having the big birthday party for Max there. But you should definitely come, especially now that you know Edward won't have any gigs."

I smiled towards her, unsure of what to say. "I don't want to intrude, and I'm not sure how comfortable everyone would be with Edward's assistant hanging around."

"Oh you mean Tanya? Nonsense! She's a bag of sour grapes, but she's fine."

"Alice--" Jasper began, but she interrupted.

"I know, I know Jas but she's seriously just that - sour grapes. I still don't know why either of you put up with her." She replied shaking her head. "ANYWAY! It will be tons of fun, plus you can be my decoy to avoiding Edward's fiancee." She giggled grabbing onto my forearm. I laughed a little, thankful that I wasn't the only one who seemed to want to avoid Tanya. "Plus, you seem lovely. And I need an extra lovely person like yourself to balance out the negative energy from a certain blonde."

"Alice!" Edward scolded. "That's enough about Tanya." She turned to him and shrugged. "Edward you know how I feel about her. That hasn't changed in the 5 years I've known you and her nor despite Jasper's protest for me to change my opinion." She stated firmly. "Now Bella," she said turning to me once again, "let me give you a tour of the house, then I'll show you photos of the lake house and you can decide which guest room you want to stay in." I tried to argue, but quickly realized there was no use. This peppy little mother of one and almost number two, as I saw looking down at her belly, was a fighter and there would be no point in wasting my breath to disagree. Instead I shrugged and nodded, smiling. "Sounds good, lead the way."

**EPOV**

I was still holding my nephew as I felt Jasper's eyes boring into me from across the room. When I finally looked over at him, he was grinning at me. "So how long have you been sleeping with her?"

I almost dropped Max. I came _this close._ How the fuck did he know? As I felt my mouth begin to move, an attempt in vain to form a response, Jasper laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Edward, you're my brother. I can read you like a book. You're into that girl, and you're either boning her or whacking off to her."

Both.

"Jas, I--"

He sighed, and came over to me, lowering his voice. "Listen, Tanya was my best friend for a while, but Edward, you're my brother. Your happiness is more important to me. SO what happened?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Tanya's cheating on me."

"What?" He asked, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline.

"With Bella's boyfriend. I caught them in our bed." He gave a low whistle, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"So you and Tanya are--"

"Still together." I said, shifting Max in my arms. "She doesn't know I know."

He cocked his head to the side. "Why not tell her? Break up with her? I'm sure once you told Bella, she--"

"I haven't told Bella." I said, ashamed.

"What the hell do you mean you haven't told her? She has the right to know, Edward! You're making her feel guilty about sneaking around with you! Can you just... even for a second, imagine what you're putting her through?"

I sighed, "It was only supposed to be a one night stand, but Jasper... there's something between us. Something more. I don't know what to do anymore."

I looked into his cold eyes as he spoke. "Edward, I don't care what you do. Be with Bella, be with Tanya, but you have to tell Bella. She deserves to know."

I nodded and sighed. I'd completely fucked up, and each passing second made it harder and harder to tell Bella. "I'm sorry."

Jasper, scoffed and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's fine, short stack. If she makes you happy, then be with her. It's your life. Don't let Rose or Tanya talk you into anything. Do what_ you _ want."

I nodded, "Thanks, Jas. It means a lot."

He smiled back at me, "It's my job. If you need to talk, you know where I am okay?" He moved his hand and reached into his back pocket. "Tickets. Great seats."

I rolled my eyes and took them from him. "you have the same seats every year."

"I know. But that doesn't make them any less great."

I rolled my eyes, just as Alice and Bella came back into the foyer. Thank god she was still in one piece. She smiled at me and I handed Max to Jasper. "You ready?"

She nodded and said a quick thank you before I ushered her out the door and into the car. Once we were in and a safe distance away, I grabbed her hand and kissed it all over. "You okay?" I murmured into her skin.

"I'm fine Edward. Alice is really sweet, thank you for letting me come along."

I dropped her hand, and looked at her out of the corner of my eye. "What's wrong?" My heart skipped a beat. Had she heard?

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes, "Nothing, I swear. Are _you _okay, though? You seem a bit frazzled."

I sighed and took her hand back, playing with her fingers in my lap. "I'm fine. I just thought I lost you for a sec."

I felt her fingers scrape across my palm before she turned to me, "Nope, if anything I think I like you more. Alice wouldn't stop gushing about you. It was really cute."

I laughed a little, and turned back onto the highway. "What'd she say?"

"Just how you were really passionate about photography and how Tanya didn't understand the first thing about passion, and that why she didn't like her. She said that you'd stick with Tanya til the very end even if you were unhappy, if it meant Tanya would be. She said you've always been selfless like that, and all you wanted was for people to understand why you lived as you did. Maybe not approve but accept; she said that Tanya didn't but you loved her regardless - even if she couldn't give you what was so obvious you wanted." She squeezed my hand, "Oh and she said she saw you naked once and you had a nice package." Then she added, with a laugh: "I'd have to agree, completely."

I laughed at the last part, but felt my heart clench with everything that came before. Was that really me? Would I really put Tanya's happiness before my own? Not anymore. I had Bella, and knowing about Bella would make her unhappy. I sighed, and pulled the back of her hand to my lips. "I have another passion, you know."

"Oh?"

I laughed, not moving her hand from my lips. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Obviously not."

I rolled my eyes, then kissed the back of her hand again. "You, obviously."

She shook her head and laughed, "I didn't realize a person could be a passion."

"Passion for a person; that's possible." I exited and we were stopped at the light at the bottom, so I leaned over and brushed my lips against her cheek. "I have a passion for making you cum... making you laugh... making you smile... and even for making you blush." I laughed to myself as I saw the familiar red pigment travel across her skin and pulled away.

**BPOV**

We drove the rest of the way to the stadium with our hands clapsed together in his lap. We pulled into the parking garage and Edward showed the lot attendant the parking pass he'd picked up from Jasper with the tickets. The lot was nearly full and it seemed that everyone had already arrived for the game. "What time does the game start?" I asked glancing at the clock on his dashboard.

"Oh about 5 minutes ago." He said circling around, looking for an available spot to park. "Hm," I said thoughtfully, as I moved our hands that were resting on his lap, further up his thigh, rubbing against his crotch.

"Plans, love?" He asked whipping into a spot between two parked cars at the opposite end of the stairwell that we need to go through. He turned off the ignition and looked over at me, smiling.

"Scoot the seat back a bit?" I asked, tearing my hand from his so I could wrap my hand around his shaft through his pants. He let out of a deep breath and reached under his seat, moving the chair. I undid my pants and slid them off, before crawling over the console and straddling him. His hands slid up under my sweater massaging my back as I ground into his pants, creating friction. His eyed burned into mine, darting their gaze towards my lips as I felt his mouth envelop mine. I kissed him passionately, threading my fingers through his hair as everything around us faded to black...

We didn't make it to our seats until the bottom of the 5th. The Mariners were leading Oakland 3-1 with a runner on first and 2 outs. Edward guided me down the steps with one hand on the small of my back as we inched our way towards the first base line. "Lower box?" I asked, turning my head slightly, keeping my eyes on the steps in front of me. "Yeah, Jas has had these season tickets for a few years now. They're fantastic."

We took our seats and huddled under the jacket Edward had brought with him as the wind began to pick up. My head rested against him as we sat, cheering for the players and booing at the umpires for bad calls as the game continued. During the 7th inning stretch we stood, stretching with the rest of the stadium. Edward poked my midsection as my sweater rose and I lifted my arms, showing off a sliver of skin. I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Good job Edward, thanks."

"Well it was either my finger or my lips." I felt his words hit directly between my legs and I smirked. "Next time go for the latter."

During one of the field changes, Edward got up to scour for some food for us since we hadn't eaten anything except for the fruit and coffee this morning. I watched the game some, but mostly people watched. There was a couple one row in front of us and a few seats over that seemed like they were crazy in love. He kept kissing some part of her every few sections and I saw him mouth "I love you" at least three times in the span of 5 minutes. She would lean in and kiss him after every time, and he would pull her hopelessly closer as if he could break the armrest between them if he tried hard enough. I wanted that; I wanted that with someone, with Edward. The realization nearly knocked the wind out of me. I didn't want that with James, he hadn't been the first person to pop into my head as I watched the lovebirds. Shit, we couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't and wouldn't be what tore Edward and I's relationships apart. My feelings had to take a step back. After all, James and I, Edward and Tanya... all of us were trying to work on our relationships in therapy. What good was any of that if we continued to do all of this? Especially Edward and Tanya who were engaged and probably in the process of planning their wedding day. I sank into my seat, disgusted with the person I had turned into. Edward returned just after the top of the 8th started, carrying a soda and a box of nachos. "Food or beverage?" he asked weighing the two items in his hand as he stood beside me. I took the cup from his hand and sipped on the cola, watching him sit down. I put the cup in the holder in front of us and he put the box of nachos below it on the floor. His arm looped around my shoulders and pulled me in, just as the boyfriend had done with his girlfriend. I sighed into him, my eyes focused on the game but my head and heart were fixated on the man leaning into me and pressing his lips into my hair.

This was the only place I would ever want to be, but what do you do where it's the last place you're allowed to stay?

**EPOV**

Something was off. Something was not right. I pushed my nose into her hair and ran my hand up and down her arm. "You okay, love?"

"Mhm, just getting cold."

She pulled herself tighter against me, and I reached up running the back of my hand over her cheek. "Are you tired? Do you want to head back?"

"No, not unless you want to."

"I'm ready when you are." I didn't care. Something was up with her. I wanted to fix it. At this point, she could have told me she wanted to play in the god damn game, and I would have found a way.

She kissed my shoulder before putting her cheek on it. "Let's just stay then."

"Okay," I said, sighing into her hair and settling even closer to her. As we watched the rest of the game, I started thinking about the times when I would come here with Tanya. Jasper and Alice were expecting Max, so they weren't using them. In the beginning, the first few times, we'd had a blast. She would get so into it... it was so much fun to watch her get excited about things. She and I used to have so much fun. But now, here I was with Bella, cheating on her. How the hell did I get to this point? How had I let it get this far? This was supposed to be... a one night stand, but now I was feeling things for and about Bella that were just... too much. But the thing was, I didn't know what to do.

We ended up watching the Mariners win in the twelfth, and I decided to take the back roads home to avoid the crowds. Somehow, we ended up at the docks again.

"Pull over." Bella asked, her voice small and her eyes trained on the water.

"Baby, you okay? Are you going to be sick?" I asked, pulling into a spot and then turning to her.

I stopped the car, then she unbuckled her seat belt and turned to me. "What are we doing?"

I furrowed my brow and looked at her. "Going home?"

She shook her head and looked down at her lap. "No, I mean this... us. Edward, you love Tanya. You're going to _marry _Tanya. And I'm jeopardizing that for you."

This is true, she was. But then again, I was too. It wasn't just Bella, after all. I'm the one who came back for her that night. It all started because of me. "Bella, it's not just you. It's me, too. I can't... I can't let you take it all. But you're right."

She nodded decisively and took a deep breath. "Then, we need to stop. I'm already... I feel... I can't keep doing this, like this. We should stop before it gets any messier." She said, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth and avoiding my gaze.

I looked straight ahead, my eyes trained on the horizon. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. She was right. Of course she was right. But... is it weird that that was exactly what I didn't want? I sighed and leaned my forehead to the steering wheel. "You're right. I don't want to hurt you, Bella."

"Don't worry about me Edward. Think of Tanya. She's off in Hong Kong thinking that you're slaving away at work while in reality you're off fucking some girl you met at a restaurant. Just like James is working his 4 night on 3 off shift thinking that I'm hanging out with my friend and not sleeping with someone else."

"You're right... we should... It's the right thing to do." Why did I feel like shit then? "We can... we can be friends?"

She laughed sadly. She sounded so broken it made my heart hurt. "Edward, we can't... I can't... I can't be around you and not want to touch you. I don't know if we can be friends, at least not yet."

I lifted my head, and turned to her. "yeah... yeah. Okay. I understand."

She heaved a great sigh, then spoke: "Right... yeah... this is good. Right?" She asked, turning to look at me for confirmation.

I sighed, and nodded. "Yeah... this is... yeah." I knew that this was what I was supposed to be doing; I knew that Bella and I couldn't continue the way we had been. But I couldn't voice it, for some reason. I turned the car back on and started driving back toward my studio.

"You're gonna go then?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll just get my car, and--"

"Right." I said, not taking my eyes off the road and pushing the volvo faster. We were at her car in no time. I got out slowly, twirling my keys around my finger and watching as she got her things and put them in her car. Once she was finished, she turned back to me and eyed me nervously.

Bella took a few steps over to me, her voice hardly a whisper. "Would you mind if I..." She put her finger to my lips, chewing on her own.

I sighed and pulled her hand from my lips, before crashing them to hers. They were moving feverishly against each other, as if we were both trying to pull as much feeling out of this last kiss as we could. This would be it. My game had come to an end. I pulled away slowly, resting my forehead to hers.

"This is it then." She said in a hushed whisper.

"This is it."

She nodded slowly against my forehead and kissed me one last time before pulling away. She turned quickly, but walked slowly to her car, head hung and her shoulders slumped. It took all of my will power not to stop her. I watched her pull out and I stood in the same spot for a minute before I finally gave in and did something I hadn't in nearly four nights.

I went home.

Surprisingly enough, I saw Tanya's car in the drive way when I got there. She was supposed to be in Hong Kong. I sighed, and prepared myself. I pushed open the front door and followed the lights to the kitchen, where she was in a silk bathrobe and some fancy underwear. Bella's were all cotton. "Expecting someone?" I asked, putting my keys on the counter as she stared at me like a deer in headlights.

"Uh, no... just you, Baby." She seemed to smile almost instantly, wrapping the robe over herself before coming over to me.

"You're home early?" I asked, wrapping her in my arms and almost clinging.

"Yeah, it got cancelled. But by the time I got the news, I was all the way at the airport and it was late so I spent the night at a hotel. Sorry, Babe, I should have called."

I kissed the top of her head. It was hard to call when you were all wrapped up in your lover. I should know. "it's okay. You almost ready for bed?"

"Yeah, let's go. You okay?"

"Mhm. I'm fine. Just tired. I had a long weekend."

She pulled away from me and took my hand, leading me up stairs. "C'mon then. Let's put you to bed."

I let her take me upstairs, and after I'd undressed and gotten into bed, Tanya crawled in beside me. I pulled her into my arms and she started to pepper kisses across my collar bone and shoulders. "I really have missed you, Eddie. A lot."

I kissed her forehead, and gave her a squeeze. "Well, I'm all yours, baby." And I was. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I was all hers.

What the fuck was I supposed to do now?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

**Bels, not gonna lie it's definitely a toss up between this and mylife for the best fic ever.  
**

**Tots. I'm not sure which I like better, but at least they're both with you! :)**

**I think the reason they're so awesome is cuz we're writing them together. GO TEAM! :P  
**

**Def better than anything that SMeyer could come up with, even though she owns these guys.  
**

**Yeah, but I think it's cuz we use real lemons, not fake fade-to-blacks.  
**

**Duh. Fade to black isn't known in these parts.**

**Well maybe... hah. There was that **_**one **_**time. But I digress, shall we let the peeps read on?  
**

**Yep, yep! **

**

* * *

  
**

**BPOV**

Monday was the longest day of my life. After I had fallen asleep in my bed and alone for the first time in days, James thought it would be perfectly appropriate to ring my doorbell at 3am. He claimed he was trying to be "sweet" and stop by on his break. I appreciated the effort, however much I wanted to just be unconscious and wallow at losing the man I never really had. By 3:15 he was getting grabby so I made some offhand remark about being exhausted and needing to wake up in a few hours so he stomped out of my apartment like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum. I fell asleep and didn't wake up til an hour after I was supposed to be at work.

I finally made it in at nearly 11, with all eyes on me. That was when it dawned on me that I had scheduled a 10am meeting to go over the market research data I'd pulled for our latest client who was a big name, based out of New York City. They were a high end retailer that had just created a new line of more affordable clothing and wanted to flood the market with campaigns without damaging their coutoure reputation. I went to my office and closed my door, banging my head on my desk.

Fanfuckingtastic. This was marvelous, first I let Edward go and now I was about to let the biggest campaign I'd ever been in charge of managing, slip through my fingers. I took a deep breath as I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I responded, hearing the door click open.

"Morning Bella." My manager, Michael Newton's voice rang out. I pinned on the biggest fake smile I could. "Good morning Mike, how can I help you?" He moved to take a seat across from me and clasped his hands in his lap. "Bella, you had a meeting this morning." He said, trying to sound calm.

I nodded. "I know, I'm really sorry. I was just about to call and reschedule."

"No need, you don't need to call back. I spoke with the team in New York this morning and got an earful." Ugh, my stomach rose into my throat as I prepared to be cut from this project. "Oh?"

He nodded. "Yes, it seems as though they love you and, well," he scoffed, "frankly, they hate me."I stared at him in disbelief. "What?" He nodded again, "yes, apparently they love your dedication and attention to them, but they feel I'm spreading you too thin. They want you there to see this project through completion of the next phase." My jaw dropped. "What?" He laughed a little. "Bella, you're supposed to be a slogan guru, a marketing maven... I'd like to think I hired you to get more of a response than 'what?'" I let out a puff of laughter and shook my head. "I-- I'm sorry. They want me in New York?"

"Yes ma'am. They've already purchased your ticket. You leave on a red-eye tomorrow night and you'll be there through the weekend. They didn't book your return, because they wanted to leave it open ended, in case you wanted to completely wrap up the project working out of their office in Manhattan, rather than flying back with the possibility of having to return. I said that would be your call. They didn't seem to like my idea of sharing you with anyone else." Just like I didn't like the idea of sharing Edward, right? I took a deep breath, letting it soak in. I was going to New York, for work.. to launch the biggest campaign of my career. I smiled, looking at Mike. "Thanks Mike, really." He nodded smacking my desk and standing up. "You do great work Swan, it's why we keep you on board... even when you miss your own meetings." He replied with a chuckle, walking out of my office. He stopped in the doorway, not turning around as he spoke. "Since, you'll probably be working nonstop through this weekend, why don't you take the rest of the day off, as well as tomorrow. Work from home if you need to, to prepare for the trip but otherwise just pack and enjoy your early weekend." He tapped the doorfame with an open hand and turned walking back towards his own office.

I spent the rest of the day preparing for my trip, so that I could do nothing but relax on Tuesday. I wound up staying at the office until nearly 10 that night, gathering all the data, files and charts I would need to present to the team first thing Wednesday morning. My phone buzzed in my purse just as I was walking to my car. I flipped it open not looking to see who it was.

"Hello?"

"Bellazoni!"

I laughed into the receiver. "Hey Emmett, what's going on?"

"Nothin, just checkin up on my baby sis. I hadn't heard from you in awhile and I wanted to make sure you were alriiiiiiights."

"Em, are you drunk?" I asked, rolling my eyes even though he couldn't see me.

"Maybe but I'm not drinkin alone. I'm here at the bar with Jake and Paul. Say hi guys!" He yelled into the phone. I heard a roar errupt on the other end and I shook my head. "Em, do you have someone to pick you up?"

"Bells! I live in PORTLAND, not in our assbackward town. We have CABS! They're great.. and YELLOW! Isn't that an awesome color for a cab? YELLOW?!"

I laughed at his absurdity. "Yeah, Em. Yellow's the best."

"Yeah, it is..." he said trailing off thoughtfully. "So how're you and that guy doin? Not the asshole, the one you actually like?"

Fuck. I forgot I had told him about Edward. "Oh... well... he and I stopped seeing each other."

"What?! WHY BELLS?" He scolded. "You really liked him! Don't tell me he cheated on you?!" I laughed coldly. Hardly, I was the one he was cheating on someone with - and Emmett knew this. "No Em, he didn't cheat on me."

"Well... GOOD! Because I would have --" he was interrupted by his own round of hiccups, "would have had to kick his ass like James' that one time in college."

I sighed, remembering that horrible fucking Halloween. "Right, Em. Hey listen I'm going to New York for the next week or so for work. But I'll call you while I'm there ok? I have to go and pack."

"Wooo! Did you hear that guys? My sis is movin up in the world... she's traveling FOR BUSINESS!" I heard another round of hoots and hollers from the other end of the phone and laughed. Right, and he was the older one?

"Okay Em, tell everyone I said bye because I really do have to go."

"Okay Bellerzotti. Call me when you get there. Love you."

"Love you too Em. Get home safe."

"Will do -- in a YELLOW cab!" And with that he broke out into another fit of laughter and I shut my phone, shaking my head. By the time I had grabbed dinner and gotten home it was almost midnight. I pulled out my cell after I had finished dinner and had settled into my pjs, and called James.

"Hey babe, you're up late." He answered on the second ring.

"Yeah, I'm packing."

"Oh? I didn't realize you were going somewhere."

"Yeah.. I kinda got told today at work that I have to go to New York to finish up that Chanel line I was telling you I landed."

"Channel? Like Channel 4 news?"

Yeah, I knew he wasn't paying attention when we went to celebrate me landing the account. "No James, Chanel... like Coco Chanel, the famous designer?"

"Yeah, whatever. So you're going to New York? For how long?"

"At least a week. They might want me to stay and wrap up the entire campagin, so I won't know til probably next Monday."

"And when do you leave?" He asked, sounding distracted.

"James are you busy? We can talk about this later..."

"No, no me and Laurent are just playing cards while we wait for our next call in."

I took a deep breath. he could multitask playing cards and talking on the phone but, thrusting into me and playing with my clit? Like asking him to do a jig and juggle hot coal at the same time. "I leave tomorrow night."

His breath cut off and there was dead air. "Hello? James?"

"So you're going away just when I start my 3 days off?"

I... guess I was? I hadn't really thought about it. "Yeah, I guess? It just got thrown at me this morning. I didn't really have an option to say no. Plus this is a huge deal for me James; if I do this right, this'll mean building up my career in the direction I want it to go."

"You _always _have a choice Bella. You're just not choosing me."

Oh. my. god. Stop being such a fucking baby. "James, I'm sorry you see it that way, but I have to go. There's no way around it."

"There's _always _a way." He repeated in the same tone. What the fuck ever.

"James, again I'm sorry if you think that's the case, but it's not. And I'm going."

"What about Dr. Carlisle Thursday?" He asked curtly. Shit. "I'll call him to cancel."

"Good, because you're the reason we're not going. Hey I'm gonna go finish up this game. Call me when you land okay?"

"Okay." I replied totally confused by his 180 mood.

"Love you." He said, not waiting for me to respond before hanging up. Well that was weird.

**EPOV**

"Edward? Baby?" Tanya asked, running her hands over my face and waking me up. "Would you mind terribly if I met you at Dr. Carlisle's tonight?"

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. How the fuck had I made it to thursday? The whole first half of the week, I couldn't bring myself to go to the studio because there was to much Bella all over the place. I missed her terribly, especially when I was home alone. Now that I knew Tanya was seeing someone else, it all felt so obvious. She wouldn't come home until 2 or 3 in the morning, if she came home at all and she never took my calls during that time. I think I wanted to believe that James and Tanya were only a one night thing; but the more time I spent here, the more I realized it wasn't.

"Yeah, baby, that's fine. I'll see you there." I rolled over in bed and she started going through her routine and pressed a small kiss to my forehead before she left. I stayed in bed until noon, then decided to shower and change before heading into the studio. I still had film to develop and the pictures were due by friday. Seemed like I should get a move on. I held my breath as I went into my studio, trying not to think about all of the ways I'd been happy with Bella in this space. I just couldn't stop thinking about her, no matter how hard I tried. I went into the dark room as quickly as I could, trying not to look at the discarded clothes, or think about the breakfast dishes that were still in the sink. All I could see was Bella. I attempted to push her out of my mind as I started going through the photos. The first twently or so were of Natalie, posing against the window, beside the fireplace and across the sofa. But then I came to my undoing: Bella. I had completely forgotten about the pictures I had taken of her that afternoon.

As I began to develop them, I realized just how much she had come to mean to me in just a week. She had become almost... a part of me; a part I wasn't sure I was ready to leave behind. I watched as she appeared on the paper, still completely in awe of how beautiful she was. I had had her; she had been mine, for how ever brief a period. It was in that moment I realized I needed her back in any capacity. I could control myself (or at least attempt to), and if she couldn't see me, then I'd have to talk to her-- the phone, online, whatever. I just needed _her._

By five I was being ushered into Dr. Carlisle's office with Tanya's hand in mine as we took our seats on the couch.

"So, you two. Last week got a little heated, but lets try and move forward from here. Edward, how has the last week been for you?"

Miserable. Dysfunctional. Stupid. "Fine. I... I got some work done." I heard Tanya sigh, and I caught her rolling her eyes. "What was that for?"

"Edward, Tanya, I'm going to stop you here so we don't have a repeat of last week." He looked between us both, then turned to her. "Tanya is there something you'd like to say about the way Edward spent his week? Not a judgement, but how you felt about it?"

"He wasn't working anything but his dick over his new _assistant_."

"Uh, Excuse me? You're the one who stays out until three in the god damn morning!"

"Well you two, this isn't--"

"What the hell have you been up to? And I don't for one fucking second think you've been at work the entire time!"

"For my JOB Edward, not because I'm banging my assistant in my 'office'" She did those stupid fucking air quote things around the word office, "And what else would I have been doing? Edward, I have a job that soaks up most of my time. I'm sorry that I have to travel sometimes but again, it's not like I'm fucking my clients!"

"No, you're just banging someone else, right? And for the last fucking time, I'm not banging her." At least, not anymore.

Dr. Carlisle cleared his throat. "Well, the point isn't who's banging-- I mean sleeping with whom--"

"Excuse me? Just because I work late does NOT mean I'm sleeping with someone else. However, not coming home at ALL after our fight last week proved that you and your little SLUT are using your dark room for more than developing pictures!"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "You, darling, told me to leave last week. Friday, I didn't want to see you so I stayed at the hotel. Yes, I was at the studio on saturday but that was supposed to be when you fucking LEFT! Oh, and let's talk about what you were wearing when I got home sunday, hm? Who was that for? Oh, and if I was fucking my assistant, how come I didn't stay with her until Thursday? Why the fuck would I have come home?" I didn't want to; if I had had it my way, I would have been with Bella right now. But it didn't matter. This was my reality.

"I was wearing it for you baby! As a make up gift, I TOLD you! But you didn't even appreciate it! Further proof you're fucking the little tramp -- when was the last time we fucked? Hm? When?! A long god damn time ago. Probably cuz you're too tired from ramming her with your dick!"

Even though I had been boinking Bella, that had nothing to do with why I wouldn't sleep with her. "Tanya, you fucking belittle me every chance you get. You tell me I'm not man enough for you, so why would I even bother? It's been seven fucking years of trying to fix this, and you just keep pushing me farther and farther. What about you? Shouldn't you be willing to change too?"

"Good point, Edward." Dr. Carlisle said, "Now, Tanya, how does it make you feel to hear that Edward feels he's doing all of the work in your relationship?"

"It makes me feel like he doesn't see me trying. Like I'm just stringing him along for no god damn reason." (looks at him sadly) "Like he doesn't get that I love him."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead with my fingers. "Because I don't see it, Tanya. You... you avoid me when you're at work; you won't even get lunch with me when I ask. You don't ever come to the galleries when I display work, you hardly ever make it to dinner at my mom's or Jasper's." I sucked in a deep breath and looked down at the floor. "you make me feel like a joke." Bella didn't. Bella never once made me feel like I wan't worth her time.

"I work Edward; I work _hard_. Most of the time during lunch, I'm in meetings! And when I'm not it's rare and usually because a meeting got cancelled. If we worked closer then we could probably meet for lunch more often. but it's hard to schedule when I spend most of the time going over contracts. And you mother hates me, so does Jasper's wife. I don't like being thrown in situations where I know I'll be uncomfortable; your family dinners tend to be one of those places."

"But couldn't you try? For me?" I had to make this work now... it was important that I could make this work. Then letting Bella go wouldn't have been in vain.

"That doesn't sound unreasonable." Dr Carlisle said, "Tanya?"

"I can compromise with lunch, but your family dinners... Edward, please don't put me through those. Alice is a horrible woman, especially when she's pregnant which is what she always seems to be."

I sighed, and shook my head. "But... they're my family. You can't ask me to give them up."

"I'm not. I would never. Just please don't force me to attend your monthly family dinners, that's all I ask."

I didn't know what to say to that. Would it be forever? Would I be going to them, alone, when I was sixty while she stayed at home?

"Tanya, as soon as you and Edward tie the knot, his family will be your family. I think it would be advisable to at least try and get along with them."

"Yeah, but we have time for all that. Just right now... at least until Alice stops being a hormonal baby making machine, can't I be given a repreive from seeing them?"

"Until when? Menopause?" I shot, suddenly angry that she was taking jabs at my unborn niece or nephew. "Are you going to stop my mother from seeing my children? Or from having Max over? How far would you take this?"

"All valid questions. Let's try to work them out constructively." I rolled my eyes. I was going to punch the doctor in the face.

"Just until she stops popping them out. I have no problem with Max, just his MOTHER!"

"Look, I--"

"Uh, sorry kids. That's all I have. Let's try this for next week: Tanya, I want you to make a list of all the things that make you unhappy in your relationship with Edward's family. It seems we have something else to work on."

I rolled my eyes and stood, letting Tanya head out before me. My heart skipped a beat when I realized I'd be seeing Bella. She'd be in the waiting room, and I would start living for this moment. But as we walked out into the fluorescent light, she wasn't there. There wasn't anyone in the waiting room. That was when it hit me.

I'd lost my Bella.

**BPOV**

Evidently, Chanel _loved _me. They had booked me a room at the Peninsula right in the heart of New York City. Wednesday passed in a blur. The driver who picked me up from the airport, said he would be dropping me off directly at the office and would personally see that my bags were brought to my room. Fantastic, no time to freshen up before stepping foot into the US HQ of one of the biggest fashion names in the world, after an over night flight. Fucking peachy. So I touched up what little I could with makeup, a brush, mouthwash and body mist. None of that seemed to help or hinder me once I actually got there. Everyone seemed anxious to meet with me, tell me their ideas... hear mine. It was mind blowing. Apparently I had actually made them believe I was a competent marketing manager. I was in various meetings until nearly 6, when the VP of product development verbally patted my back for a first day well done and told me to enjoy the evening. Enjoy it, I would... in bed.

When I got to the hotel and finally into my room, I barely had time to be in awe of the space, before I flopped down on the bed and let out a breath of air. I was proud of myself, proud that I'd gotten this far on my own, but as I swiped my hand over the empty side of the bed I realized what was missing: Edward. The familiar ache that had hit me like bolts of of lightening since Sunday evening struck again and I was gasping for air and fighting back silent sobs as it dawned on me once again that I could not have who I really wanted, who my heart really wanted. For always. And for the fourth night in a row, I fell asleep with a tightened chest and curled up in a ball, missing the feel of Edward around me.

I woke up early on Thursday morning feeling like crap. I couldn't sleep without Edward, it was kind of pathetic. I went about my morning, making phone calls to Em, James, my dad and a voicemail for Mike, letting them all know I'd arrived safely and that I would be ridiculously swamped for the next few days, but I'd try to call them soon. When I arrived back at the office, it was another jam packed day full of concept meetings, contract negotiating, scheduling photographers, speaking with copywriters, and organizing a launch party a few months out. At around 6:30 the same R&D executive came up to me and told me to leave for the day. I politely declined and stayed with a few others on the team until nearly 9, drafting tag lines, getting rough numbers for the items, and calling manufacturers in Asia and Europe.

By the time I arrived back at the hotel, I was amped rather than exhausted and decided to change & go for a walk around Manhattan. After almost 2 hours of roaming around, I was back in my hotel room ordering room service. I took a quick shower, and was catching up on the news, when I heard my phone buzz. I flipped it open staring at the TV.

"Bella Swan." I answered reflexively.

"Bella?" My heart stopped and I searched frantically with my eyes for the remote, fumbling with it before flipping the TV off. Edward.

"Bella?" He repeated. I cleared my throat.

"Edward," I breathed into the phone. Just saying his name made my heart ache five times less.

"Oh, Baby, thank God. Are you okay?"

"Um, yeah... I'm fine?" I asked, completely confused. "Why, is everything OK there?"

"No." He said, quickly stumbling over the rest of his words. "I mean, yes... I guess. I was just worried about you. I didn't... I didn't see you at the doctor, so I just... yeah."

"Oh. Um, well we didn't go today - obviously. I... I'm in New York."

"What, why?"

I smiled into the phone. "The Chanel account, this huge project I've been working on... they wanted me out here to wrap some of it up." I took a breath before scooting back, leaning up against the headboard and folding my arm over my stomach. "So you were worried about me?"

"Shit, Baby, that's awesome." He laughed a little and sighed, his voice dropping as he continued. "Of course I was worried. I haven't heard from you in a while. I just... I needed to make sure you were okay."

My eyes closed at the sound of his voice. This, him... was all I needed. I didn't need Chanel, or New York, or big accounts, I just needed... him. I sighed, "Edward I thought someone said it wasn't okay to worry about each other. That it would just make it harder." I tried to get through my sentence steadily, but my voice cracked a little at the end.

"But Bella... it's over. What's there to make harder?" There was a moment of dead air before I heard him let out a breath. "Oh. right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I... I'm sorry I bothered you, Bella. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you."

My body shivered at the thought of this call ending, I couldn't. He'd started this again, just by dialing my number. "Edward..." my voice dropped to barely above a whisper as I felt the tears stinging my eyes, "I miss you. Do you miss me?" God I sounded pathetic, even to my own ears.

"Every damn second, Baby." He answered, exhaling slowly.

"It's dumb..." I started, laughing sadly as my hand moved to my forehead. I was losing it and about to confess shit that would make him run for the hills. "...but I sleep for shit without you now. And we only slept together a handful of times."

"That's not dumb. I can't even go to my studio anymore. I went to work for the first time since sunday this afternoon."

"How was it? Did it smell? Oh god, was the food still out?" I covered my mouth, muffling a laugh as I bent my knees up towards my chest. This felt right. Us, like this... even thousands of miles away we fell back into step with each other without a stumble.

"It was... horrible. There were clothes everywhere, and the dishes were still in the sink, but the food was away. Seems we had one brain cell between us." He chuckled faintly.

"Right, well to my braincells' defense, they were too preoccupied by being hyper aware of you touching me, if I recall correctly." I replied, smiling into the phone.

There was a beat of silence before he cleared his throat. His voice dropped to a whisper as he breathed,"Bella, I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't. I'm sorry. I... I think I should go--"

My heart began racing and I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I had to go through this _again_. "Edward, please... don't go. I won't bring it up, just... don't go. I'm sorry."

"Bella... fuck. I just... I miss you so much, and even now, even though I'm hearing your voice... it hurts, baby. It just fucking hurts." He admitted, his voice cracking at his last few words.

"Me too Edward. It took everything I had not to go back to your studio Sunday night and beg you to forgive me for being such an idiot. I can't... not anymore... I can't be without you." I took a deep breath, shoving my head against the fluffy pillow. "There's not one part of me, not one inch of my body that is okay with us not being together. You make it... me Edward, you make me... come alive. Only you."

His breath was erratic and ragged as I waited with baited breath for any kind of response from him. "But what about them?"

"Edward, this is your decision. Nothing has changed for either of us, I assume. But I need you to know, that regardless of your decision no one else will ever make me laugh like you have, or feel as carefree or safe at night... or wet like you do. All of it, all of me... is yours."

**EPOV**

Wet.

She had me at 'i miss you' but then she had to go using words like wet.

"Baby, you want me?" I said, grabbing my keys off the counter, and locking up my studio.  
"Always Edward." She said, breathlessly.

"I'm on my way." I ended the call and pulled the volvo out onto the road, before pulling out my phone again to make a slightly different call. She picked up on the first ring.

"Hey... uh, Edward?"

I laughed a little as Tanya hesitated. "You have another fiancée I should know about?"

"No!" She practically shouted, "No. What's up?"

"You remember that shoot with Natalie I had last week? Well, the company that was for wants me to shoot her again! Isn't that great!" Wow, who knew that seeing Bella would make me so giddy.

"Oh, yeah, Edward... that's great." Gee, Tanya, gimme a little less enthusiasm. "Why are you telling me this?"

Um, cause you're my fiancée and you're supposed to love me and shit? "I have to go to New York for a little while. I'm taking the red eye tonight."

I heard her push the phone away from her face and whisper, "He's leaving. We've got time." I groaned into the phone, then cleared my throat. "Oh, right... Edward. So yeah, you do that. Call me when you land." And then she clicked off.

Whatever. I had to get to my Bella.

$1,432, fourteen hours, and three jack and cokes later I was in New York, and so much closer to my Bella. It was like my body knew she was coming; like it knew exactly why I was here. I could literally feel myself trembling in anticipation. I was walking toward the line of cabs outside when I heard my name.

"Edward?"

I turned quickly and saw her. My Bella, about three yards away, in some jeans and my white tee shirt and her hair pulled back in a mess. She was perfect. "Bella." I whispered.

In a flash she was moving. She launched herself on me and I caught her, quickly wrapping her arms and legs around my body as her lips started in on my face, kissing any spot she could find. "How... did you... know... when I'd be here?" I asked, in between kisses.

She pulled away, panting slightly before leaning in and pushing her face into the crook of my neck. "I've been here since five. I didn't want to miss you."

I sighed and hugged her as close to me as she could possibly get. "I'm here. I'm here. Fuck, I missed you."

I felt her nod against my skin,"Biggest understatement of the decade." She lifted her face and smiled, then pushed her lips to mine. It really hit me in that moment just how much I missed her. I needed her so badly it scared me.

"Don't... let's not do that again, okay? I don't think I could do that again. I was miserable without you."

She put her forehead to mine, her cool breath washing over my face. "definitely. that was quite possibly our worst idea ever." I adjusted my grip on her, making her flush to my chest. "Are you okay to come with me back to the hotel? Unfortunately, I do have to go into the office for a bit today. I hope that's okay?" she asked worridly.

I leaned in and kissed her again. "Baby, it's fine. Don't worry. I'm here."

She nodded and I kissed her one more time before I put her down so that she could lead me over to the car.

"Dennis, this is Edward. My boyfriend. Edward this is Dennis, he works for Chanel."

I shook his hand then scooted into the car with Bella, then pulled her against me. "Boyfriend, huh? Moving a little quickly, aren't we Miss Swan?"

She put her chin on my shoulder, looking up at me with wide eyes."Well, yanno.. I kinda like calling you mine."She kissed me quickly, throwing one of her arms over my shoulder.

"I like it, too.' I whispered against her lips. Trust, it didn't escape my notice that we still had the same problem ahead of us, nor that we were still in this messy... thing with each other. But the one thing that had changed was the one thing that mattered: Bella Swan belonged to me.

And of course, I was hers.

**BPOV**

We stopped at the front desk and I politely asked for a second key. Fortunately, it seemed that since my name was attached to such a well known organization, nothing was an issue. The conceirge gave us an extra key immediately and said that a second bathrobe and set of towels would be brought up at our convenience. We stood in the elevator riding it up to the 15th floor, my arms wrapped tightly around him, breathing him in. I could believe he was here... that this time yesterday I was running around frantically trying to get ready and missing him so much I could barely breathe and now, he was... here.

"I can't believe you're here." I murmured into his chest.

His fingers brushed a few stray strands off my cheek as he whispered, "Would you like me to go?"

"Obviously, I'm clinging to you like a koala to a tree, because I want to see you try and escape." I replied kissing his chest through his tshirt.

"I won't , love. I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

My hand reached for his as the doors opened and we walked out towards the room, testing his keycard to make sure it worked. We walked down the short hallway to the main living area that was divided and split between a living room and bedroom. I walked up the two steps towards the bed and flopped down. I felt the bed shift and curled up towards Edward as his arms wrapped around me pulling me even closer. "God, I'm so glad you're here. I wouldn't want to have shared in this with anyone else."

"No one?" He asked inquisitively, turning his lips up into that smirk that made my panties wet. "Not even... uh... Jude Law?"

I shook my head looking up at him, and kissing his chin. "I would pick you over Jude any day of the week - just don't tell him I told you." I whispered as my lips hovered over his.

"I won't... I promise." He kissed my lips quickly and leaned his forehead against mine. "Don't leave any more okay?"

"Don't ever let me think that is the best solution." I sighed "I know we're going to have one hell of an issue eventually, but I can't do this without you now. You mean too much to me."

"I... I didn't realize that you thought that leaving would be a solution." He stated, his brows furrowing with confusion. "But I can't be without you, Bella. I just can't do it."

"Good." I sighed as I kissed him again. I pulled away hesitantly, sucking his bottom lip lightly before releasing it. "Ugh, I wish I didn't have to go in, but alas, I do. You okay here? Do you need anything? Can I get you anything before I leave?" I asked brushing a few strands of hair from his forehead.

He shook his head, kissing my cheek. "I'll be fine. We'll talk later." His lips moved, hovering over mine teasingly before closing the gap and placing them against mine firmly. "Come back to me."

I brushed my lips against his one last time, smiling against them. "Always Edward. I'll always come back to you." I sighed, pulling myself away from him and slowly undressing, padding off to the bathroom to get ready. By the time I had finished showering, Edward was fast asleep on the bed. I walked over to him, watching for a moment as I grabbed a pair of underwear and bra out from my suitcase. I slid them on and walked over to him, kissing his forehead. His face tilted upward and his eyes opened halfway, a tired smile on his lips. "Hey," he murmured. I smiled, whispering, "hey there." His hand reached up behind my neck and pulled me down to him, crashing his lips against mine. Fuck this felt good, this is what I had missed. "Baby... I gotta... go to work." I let out as I pried my lips from his. His eyes opened a bit more and raked over my body. "Okay, just one more kiss?" I smiled and nodded lowering my face but he pulled away. "No," he began as his hand moved to my hip pulling me closer. His lips brushed against the skin just below my belly button. "That, is for the baseball game." I let out a slow exhale as I felt the heat pool between my legs. "And this," he continued as his mouth hovered over my underwear and slid them to the side with his fingers. He then laid an open mouth kiss on my wet lips, "is so I can taste you all day while you're gone."

I kid you not, hottest fucking thing anyone's ever done to me.

I peered around him looking at the clock: 9:37. How upset would they be if I came in at 11? Probably furious. I took a deep breath trying to calm my racing heart. "You are amazing. How long are you here for?"

He shrugged, wrapping himself up in the blankets like a burrito.

I laughed a little and turned around to grab the rest of my clothes. His fingers hooked in my underwear and pulled me back as his lips grazed against the small of my back, nibbling lightly. "Fuck Edward..." I breathed..

"What?" He asked innocently, as I felt him lips curve into a smirk against my skin."What time are you coming back?"

"If I leave relatively soon, I'm hoping 7ish. But can I call you later to give a more exact time?"

He nodded against my lower back, nuzzling his nose against the spot where his lips had just been. "I'll talk to you later, Baby."

I grabbed my purse and made my way downstairs and over to the office. I walked in a little after 10 and tossed my purse onto my chair, leaning over to power on my laptop.

"You don't seem giddy." Danielle, one of the marketing coordinators observed, peering over her cube that shared a wall with my little workstation. I looked up at grinning like a crazy woman. She smirked and nodded. "Better, but I was still expecting more. Didn't you say your boyfriend flew out here this morning?" I nodded, moving my purse and taking my seat. "Yeah, a little after 7."

"... and was he originally supposed to come out here?" She pushed. I felt my smile widen as I shook my head. "No, we were talking last night and I said I missed him and he took the next flight out." I glanced up at her, and her face completely melted. "That is _the _sweetest thing ever!" She cooed. "Mary, Josefine! Come over here. Bella has herself a Prince Charming!"

So for the next hour and a half, I spewed a mixed bag of truths as to Edward and I's relationship - conveniently leaving out the fact that 1) we technically _weren't_ a couple and 2) we were coupled with other people. There were a few sighs and the occasional "aww," but as a few more women started walking over, I clammed up and wrapped up the Edward and Bella story.

It was nearing noon and I had barely gotten through a quarter of my e-mails. Danielle and I were hard at work trying to pull data on the top companies that had put in offers to carry Chanel's new line of low budget clothing and we were scrambling to make the 5pm deadline so we could start our weekends.

I kept peering at the clock and noticed it seemed to be moving unusually fast; typically the days - especially Fridays - went on forever. But not today, it seemed like everytime I looked up thinking it had been 10 minutes it had really been 30, and before I knew it it was almost 6:30.

"Bella." Francois the Marketing Director greeted casually, his French accent so thick I almost didn't understand my own name. I looked up from my laptop. "How's everything going? I've barely seen you today."

I sighed and nodded. "Busy plugging the numbers that we extracted from the data pulled over the last few days into the reports so we know what things are looking like." He nodded, and smiled a tight lipped grin. "Good, though it sounds like the team will be pulling a late night?" My face fell and I nodded. "Yeah, we're still trying to imput the data into the fields we need to compare." I turned to look over at Danielle's desk. "Danielle, what do you think another hour or two to incorporate the info and get the reports ready?" She stood up looking at both of us and nodded, "at least that long."

"Dinner and Friday night group date on the company dime I guess." Francois said, trying to joke about the tiresome journey we had in store for the evening. Danielle and I both smiled before turning back to our computers to hustle through and get to the reporting. A few minutes before seven I knew I wouldn't be home anywhere near the time I told Edward I would be, so I reached for the phone on my desk and dialed the hotel asking for my room. On the third ring, Edward picked up sounding surprised. "Hello?"

"Hey baby, it's me."

I heard him chuckle lightly. "Oh, yeah I probably should have figured that. I was thinking, 'who the fuck knows I'm here?' " I laughed a little and wrapped the phone cord around my index finger leaning my head back. "So listen, I have some bad news."

"What's up, love?"

"I spent all day talking about you and your awesomeness and didn't get any work done, so now we have to stay late."

He laughed into the phone. "Talking about me, huh? Sorry, love. But that's okay. I'll... uh... well, I'll... hm. I'll think of something."

I bit my lip, letting out a breath. "W-would you, I dunno... want to come here? To my office?"

"YES TELL HIM TO COME AND BRING HOT AMAZING FRIENDS JUST LIKE HIM!" Danielle shouted loudly over the cube wall. Ugh, mortified table for one?

"Love? You there?"

I laughed a little and sighed. "Yeah, sorry that was Danielle." I glanced over towards the main doors that lead to the elevators. "So, um... did you want to come by here? I think we're ordering pizza so it'd be free food." I replied trying to persuade him to come over.

There was a beat of silence and I could hear the hesitation in his voice. "You're inviting me to your work place?"

Shit, was that not okay? "Um, yeah but I mean... it's completely fine if you don't want to, I mean we're in New York City and it's Friday night so _obviously _there's better things to do then come over here and hang out eating pizza and listening to a group of monkeys talk product launch." I spat out quickly, nervous that in asking him, I'd done something wrong.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm there if you want me." He said talking over my last few words. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I murmured, "I'll always want you Edward, always."

"Where are you?"

I gave him the address and instructions on how to get to my office from the hotel, giddy with anticipation of being able to see him soon. "Baby, can you give us like an hour or so? We still have to wrap up some data analysis."

"You got it, love." He said, laughter filling the line.

"Perfect. Call me when you're downstairs so I can meet you by the elevators. I can't wait to see you." I sighed, looking back towards my laptop.

"Me either, Baby. I missed you." He replied exhaling loudly into the receiver.

"I miss you too." I admitted as we said our goodbyes and hung up. Even as I closed my phone I ached to hear his voice again, to reaffirm that I was his and he was mine. I huffed, shaking my head as I glanced back at the spreadsheet open on my computer and set back to work.

A little over an hour later, my phone buzzed on the fake-wood table of my desk and I smiled, flipping it open to a text from Edward. "I think I'm here. 8th floor?" I replied with a confirmation and tried to walk as casually as I could (without sprinting) over to the main doors and the elevator. I tapped my foot on the hard floor, waiting. After what felt like a year, the doors finally opened.

Edward.

He stepped out of the elevator, and my breath hitched in my throat. Even in jeans and a t-shirt he looked like walking sex. He smiled at me as he approached, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"God, baby I'm so sorry about having to stay this late. Thanks for meeting me here, though." I said before kissing his lips softly.

"it's okay. No worries, Love."

I grabbed his hand as we walked through the big black tinted doors with the infamous C's and down the hall towards a big conference room where 6 of us had been gathered.

"Hey, guys? Look who dropped by..." I announced, unable to hide the stupid smile that spread on my face.

"So this is --" Danielle asked and I nodded. Her face spread out into a huge smile and she walked over to him. "I'm Danielle. Do you happen to have a single brother who can wow me like you did to our Bels?"

He laughed, flashing her the Edward-tastic smile. I bit my lip trying to get the NC-17 mental images of the things I loved that he did with that mouth, out of my head as he spoke. "I'm afraid my brother's married. Sorry." She shrugged and I about died from blushing when she winked at me, "guess we can't all be as lucky as Bella then."

We walked further into the room and I introduced him to everyone. As we took our seats I laced my fingers with his under the table, eating my lukewarm pizza slice with my left hand. "So Bella tells us you're a fantastic photographer. Who do you freelance with right now? We're always looking for good candidates."

"Umm, pretty much who ever will hire me. I do a lot of work for local businesses-- mostly Seattle and Vancouver."

We ate for a few more minutes while making small talk, before I moved my hand from his and stood up. "Okay guys. It's late, it's Friday night and I know we all want to leave soon so let's wrap this up. We've narrowed down 5 retailers who are bidding to sell the new line of C 2 by Chanel. Can we narrow it down to 2 by tonight so we can all go home happy and do any and every kind of research we can on the 3 companies from now til Tuesday?" Everyone pow wowed and tossed around ideas. Occasionally it would veer off topic and someone would throw out Bloomingdales or Neiman Marcus which is where their cotoure line was already being sold, and I'd have to corrall them back into the world of mid-low budget. By the end we had narrowed it down to H&M or Macy's; unfortunately it was past 10. "Okay everyone, great job today. Enjoy your weekend or what's left of it and we'll see everyone at 10am Monday for the final round of meetings." Francois, the marketing director announced as we all stood up and stretched.

We all filtered out of the conference room and I walked over to the makeshift workstation that they had set up for me, feeling Edward's eyes on my back.

I fanned my arm over the plain table that housed my laptop and a few files. "Ta Da! Home away from home." I said, putting my workstation on display. Edward's arms wrapped around me from behind and his chin leaned against my shoulder. "I thought _I _was your home away from home." I shook my head, "no you're just home."

The truth in those words, almost knocked me over. Edward was home and everything home represented. Comfort, protection, freedom... _love_? I shook my head out if it's daze as I heard my name being called.

"Earth to Bella!" Josefine, one of the girls from the meeting, yelled out across the floor. I focused in front of me a ways where she was standing. "We're all going down the street for drinks. Do you and your boyfriend want to join?" I didn't even have to think about it. "I think we're good!" I yelled back over the cubicles. She smiled and nodded, waving as she threw her purse over her shoulder and turned around towards the exit. "If I haven't told you a hundred times already, I'm so glad you're here. I'm just sorry you had to be bored while we worked everything out tonight."

He pressed his lips against my neck softly. "Love, I'm here with you. We had a free dinner, I got to spend part of the evening with you and best of all?"

"Hm?"

He leaned in whispering into my ear, "You're mine."

**EPOV**

I felt her breath hitch as I spoke, and I knew instantly that I was just as much hers as she was mine. I didn't want anyone else to have this with her. She was _my_ home, she was _my_ perfect. She was mine.

"Baby, let me just get my stuff, and we'll head back, okay?" I nodded and let her go, moving back a little as she got her things together. It was so weird to be at work with her; to watch her at her job... accomplishing shit. I don't think you understand just how monumental this was to me. Tanya never even let me in the goddamn building, and I was sitting next to Bella while she talked shop with a bunch of her co-workers, and not once did she make a jab at me or my job. Fuck, that shit was sexy.

My eyes snapped back to where Bella was bent over her desk, and I just... had to have her. It had been too long. It had been four fucking days. Or rather, four fuckless days. I walked up behind her and grabbed her hips, pulling them forcefully into my hard on. She gasped a little and turned her head ever so slightly. "E-edward? What are you doing?"

I pushed the hair over her shoulder and began sucking on her neck. "I missed you, Bella." I murmured into her skin, "Don't you want me to show you how much I missed you?"

She pushed her hips back into my crotch and groaned, tossing her head back onto my shoulder. "Y-yes."

I slid one of my hands down her body and cupped her mound over her skirt and the other found its way to her breast. "I bet you're already wet for me, aren't you? I bet you're already thinking about my hard cock pumping in and out of you." Her hips started to move against my hand and I smirked. "You are, aren't you? Fuck, Bella. Tell me what you want."

Her breath was coming out in short pants against my skin, and she placed a hot kiss just under the corner of my jaw. "I want you to fuck me."

I kissed her forehead gently, because she was my Bella and right then only my Bella, then hiked her skirt up around her waist and pulling down her underwear. I actually fucking growled when I saw her pussy, already sopping wet for me. I cupped her heat again as I undid my pants and pulled my cock out through the slit of my boxers. "Edward... Edward... please..." She panted.

I took my hand away and traced my cock up and down the line of her slit, getting it nice and wet for her. The more and more I teased her, the wetter she got and that made my cock twitch. I was going to blow my load before I even got inside her. I carefully positioned myself at her entrance and kissed the back of her neck as I thrust into her. I couldn't suppress the groan if I tired, and my face found itself buried in her hair. I gave her a second to adjust before I began thrusting into her wildly, trying desperately to feel close to her again; trying desperately to make her mine again. My hand glided up her side, under her shirt and bra to work at her nipple. I could feel her body responding eagerly to mine, and I knew it wouldn't be long. Good, cause I wasn't going to fucking last. My mouth found it's way back to the juncture of her neck and shoulder and I began to suck on her skin again. I felt her start to flutter around me, and I wanted to see her cum; I needed it.

"Baby... Baby... it's been too fucking long... baby...fuck... I need... I need you to cum all over my cock, Bella. Bella... please...I--"

I never got out the rest of my sentence because she picked that precise moment to clamp down on my cock, toss her head back and cum. Hard. I groaned and shut my eyes, realizing in that moment that I wasn't wearing a glove. Holy shit, how could I have been so dumb? I kept breathing (heavily) through my nose, praying to everything that I wouldn't cum as she had probably the biggest orgasm in our time together. Fuck. "ShitEdwardShitEdwardShitEdwardShit..." She kept going like that for a few more minutes until finally, _finally_, she calmed down But I kept completely still, terrified that with one movement, I would completely ruin everything. I was panting against her back when she turned her head slightly. "You... you didn't cum." She breathed.

"No... I couldn't... I don't have a rubber."

"Edward," She said, turning to me quickly. "You have to cum." She ground her hips into me and I moaned, squeezing her tit and her hip.

"Bella... Bella... please, Baby we can't--"

"Yes, we can. Give it to me, Edward. I need your cum... please... give it to me..." I groaned as she began to flex her pussy around my cock and roll her hips at the same time. I couldn't deny her anything, especially when she was doing shit like that. I pushed myself into her and moaned loudly as I came inside her, letting out what felt like four million years of cum inside her. By the time I finally finished I leaned back against her, my cheek pressing into her spine and my hands running up and down her sides. I kissed the fabric of her shirt and traced my nose over her vertebrae, "Baby... Baby... I'm sorry. So fucking sorry."

Gently, I felt her twist so that I slipped out of her and she turned, pulling me into her arms. "I wanted it, Edward... I asked for it. I knew what I was doing. It's okay. I'm okay. You're here... Baby, I'm better than okay."

I sighed, and pushed my face into her shoulder. If something happened to her... If she... fuck. I felt her arms come and wrap around my neck, and she kissed my jaw. "hey, it's okay. i'm so happy you're here, Edward." I nodded into her skin. Her hands traced their way up my neck and into my hair as she said, "And I'm yours."

I smiled into her skin, and kissed her shoulder again. It's funny how three little words can put things back in perspective.

Bella was mine. That's all that mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey Kels? You know what might be better than this fic?

What?

Dude, you were supposed to have a witty way to say 'nothing'... but then again, you did update 7 yrs. which is chocked full of greatness

Haha. Whatev, this fic is way better than 7 years. I was expecting you to announce that you had started another fic. Now THAT would stand a chance at beating this greatness.

haha... no. I like, can't write two POV's anymore, that's how much I've come to depend on you. But then again, the founder of all things Twi (SMeyer) only did one, too. We have to block Jacob out... we just have to

And we've done a pretty good job so far, not letting him near either of our collaborations. Sooooo... to wrap things up: SMeyer owns, we had Jacob and reviews are almost as good as dating E.C?

ooo... def :)

* * *

**BPOV**

We got cleaned up a bit and walked out of the building hand in hand. It was amazing how just Edward's presence gave me a wave of calm. There could be utter mayhem circling around and as long as Edward was there, I wouldn't feel a single flicker of it. Yeah so maybe I had been a little caught up in the moment when I let him shoot off in me, but it felt amazing; I needed to get on the pill stat so that could become a regular thing.

We walked out the building and down the bustling streets of Friday night Manhattan pressed tightly together. His arm was wrapped around my waist and my head rested against his chest. He hailed a cab after a few minutes of comfortable silence and we headed to the hotel. "Have you had a chance to sight see at all yet?" He asked as he played with my hand in his lap as we rode back to the hotel.

"No, not really. Just a short walk last night. Work has pretty much wiped me out. I'm just glad we get the weekend off; my boss back in Seattle thought I'd be working through it."

"Yea, well we should do something then. Like go on a real date or something." He suggested aloofly, shrugging.

"A real date?"

"Yeah, you know," he began, looking up at me and smirking, "since we don't have to hide here I want to treat you like I should, but can't when we're home..." he said trailing off. He sighed, looking down at our entwined fingers before glancing up. "I want to treat you like I should be treating you all the time if everything wasn't so fucked up."

I cupped his jaw with my free hand and smiled at him softly. "Baby, you treat me like a princess; never think that I don't appreciate everything you do. I mean, you flew across the country for god sakes! Edward if that's not the epitome of a prince charming I don't know what is." My head leaned in towards his, and I swiped my lips across his mouth. "Plus you not only accept, but seemingly encourage my weird eating habits." I murmured against his lips. He laughed quietly and pulled me closer to him, kissing my temple. "I just don't want you to regret this Bella, when everything is said and done." He whispered into my hair.

The only thing I would ever regret would be not asking for one more day, once we finally had to part ways.

We sat curled up in one another until the driver swung around and pulled up in front of the hotel. Edward and I bantered over who should pay, but he ultimately won... by cheating mind you. He kissed me and I lost all sense of time and space, and he snuck the money to the driver while sliding his tongue into my mouth.

See, cheater. Okay, maybe a bad choice of words.

We walked through the lobby and got in the elevator, tapping the 'close doors' button frantically. He sighed, with what sounded like satisfaction as the doors began to shut and turned to face me. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me flush against him. He leaned his forehead against mine and pulse his hands around my body, looking down at me. I stared up at him smiling as my arms hung loosely around his neck. And I don't know if it was the exhaustion of the past couple days at work, my still semi-disbelief that he had flown all the way out here at a moment's notice and had been excited for me at the opportunity I was given, or just from missing him so much and realizing that I hadn't lost him as I thought I had; but in that moment it didn't matter that I'd known him two weeks, what I was feeling felt a lot like love.

And the best part was the way he looked at me made me think that maybe he was feeling the same.

The elevator dinged, sending me back into reality and out of my spaced out happy every after daydream that I'd gotten lost in by getting lost in his eyes.

The doors creaked open but neither of us moved. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, but closed it quickly and smiled, kissing my nose. "You ready?"

I wanted to tell him no. That I wanted to stay in this elevator with him, daydreaming as I had been, forever. I wanted to say that I didn't want the reality of our situations, that I wanted to be a petulant child and demand my way; demand that we be allowed a redo and go back in time and meet when we were both single so that this wouldn't ever have to end. Because outside of this elevator, maybe not right that instant but eventually... outside of that elevator it would have to.

But instead I nodded and watched him pull away, grabbing my hand and leading out to the hall and down the carpeted path to our room. He unlocked the door, pushing it open for me to walk through. I stepped inside, immediately kicking my heels off and turning to him as he locked the door.

"So,Bella..."

"Hm?" I asked, moving towards him and wrapping my arms around his torso.

His arms snaked around my body and he pulled me closer, placing a kiss against my forehead. "I don't think I'm ready to sleep."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh really? Then what, praytell are you ready for?"

His head dropped to my shoulder and his lips immediately attached to my neck, sucking gently. "You. Please tell me we can sleep in tomorrow?"

I let out a breath as I felt his teeth sink into my skin. "All day, if you want...why?"

His breath was warm against the cool wet spot on my neck as he whispered, "I'm not ready to let you go."

"No one's asking you to baby." I breathed into his ear, running my fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp.

"No one?" He asked, kissing along the curve of my neck and along my shoulder through the fabric of my shirt.

"No, and anyone that does can go fuck themselves. Because I never want to let you go."

**EPOV**

She was with me, wasn't she?

We were doing this together, and even though we both knew that it would have an end we were going to make the most of it. In the back of my mind, I realized that this was all Bella and I would ever be; we would never get past this point. But really, what did it matter? I was enjoying her and she wanted me here. At this particular moment, there wasn't anything more important than that. I leaned in and kissed her softly.

"Baby, let's just stay here." Impulsive, yes. Well thought out, no.

She laughed a little under my lips. "What?"

I traced my nose along the soft skin just under her eye, keeping my own closed. "Let's not go back. We could just stay here, and... and... be together." Wait... wait. Did I really want that? Did I really want to be with Bella... indefinitely? The answer shocked the hell out of me.

"Okay." She whispered.

My eyes snapped open and I looked at her. I took my face in her hands, pulling away a little. "Really? I mean, you... you would do that with me?"

Bella nodded slowly, her eyes ablaze. "Of course I would Edward." She said, smiling adoringly up at me. I so didn't deserve this girl.

I squeezed her tightly to my chest, tucking her head under my chin. "Then let's do it. Let's run away, and... and... make shit happen." Fuck, what the hell was I talking about? And why wasn't anyone stopping me?

She laughed into my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist. "You sure about this? You sure it's just not the jet lag?"

I shrugged, and focused my eyes on the wall behind her head. "So what if it is?"

She pulled back and I watched her face fall. "Then, it's just your exhausted state and doesn't mean--"

I put two fingers up to her lips and shook my head, "Bella, I want you. That doesn't change-- ever."

She smiled sadly at me. Fuck. "Wanting me is a little different than wanting to run away with me and and leave everything behind."

I leaned in and tried to kiss the sad away. This wasn't supposed to be sad. "If it's you... if I get to have you, and be with you... that's what I want. So let's do it. Let's just... fuck it."'

She left my arms, but took my hand, leading me farther into the suite and toward the bedroom. "Edward you're just exhausted; you admitted it was jet lag. It's okay; wanting me is enough, you don't need to say things you'll wish you could have taken back in the morning." She pulled me closer, cupping my jaw and running her thumb over my cheek. "I want you, for as long as I can, even if it's not forever. Okay?"

"I don't regret us, Bella. Not any of it." I pulled her into me by the waist, furrowing my brow and looking at her intently. "There isn't one fucking thing I would ever want to take back. Well, except for the last four days." I felt myself start to fall apart just thinking of being without Bella. "Baby... Baby, I can't do that shit ever again. I can't. I need to... I need to be with you. If staying here forever gets me that, then that's what I'm gonna do."

She let out a breathy, exhausted laugh. "Edward, you have me. You just do, no stipulations, no requirements, no limitations. You have me, all of me. I don't need you to promise me forever because I already know that I will be yours... that I want to be yours, for that long."

I sighed and looked down at her. "Bella... Bella... you don't seem to understand how much you've come to mean to me." Hell, until that moment, I didn't even realize how much she meant to me. "Bella... I'll give you anything... do anything for you. No questions asked. Name it, and it's yours. That's all." I dropped my hands from her face and pulled her into my arms. "Baby you're all I want... always. All I'll ever want."

"Edward, I don't want anything from you... aside from you. You're perfect." She pressed her lips gently to mine, and I felt myself get lost in her.

I sighed, leaning against her, and trying not to think too hard. I couldn't really be hers if I was still with Tanya. I mean, I was with Bella and I belonged to Bella but when we got home... i would have to pretend. Why was I doing this again?

"Baby, I... Bella... fuck..." What the hell was I trying to say? None of this was coming out right and now we were in this weird like... limbo thing. It fucking sucked. "Bella..."

She smiled and kissed me again. "Edward, don't stress about this. I'm happy; I'm here with you, we're alone and for the next however many days we don't have to pretend or hide. Just let that be enough for now, I'm trying to."

I nodded into her shoulder, then lent up to kiss her cheek. "Bella, it's always enough. Just you holding me is always enough."

"Good, for me too." She pulled away and began unbuttoning her shirt. "I need to take a bath and get rid of the 12 hour stench of work on my skin. Do you want to join me?"

I leaned in and started kissing the skin on her neck and chest as she worked on her buttons. "Yes."

She laughed a little, but pushed me off. "But you have to bathe, okay? No funny business."

I let her go, laughing after her before I began to strip off my clothes and follow her into the bathroom. My Bella. She would always be my Bella.

**BPOV**

He filled up the tub, while I finished stripping down and sank into the hot water. He winced, but slid in and took a deep breath. I stepped inside, situating myself between his legs and pressing my back against his chest. I sighed and leaned my head back as his hands shot up to my shoulders and began massaging the flesh there.

"Baby, we... we need to have that conversation. The one we'd otherwise be avoiding the rest of the time I'm here..."

I sighed and nodded a little. "Okay, if we must."

"How are we gonna do this now? I mean, Baby, I love that I'm with you... I want this, but really nothing's changed."

"I think we should see where this goes. I can't lose you again Edward, that's just not an option for me. What do you want, and don't say me, because I don't think wanting each other has ever been the question..." I exhaled slowly turning to look up at him. "I just need a legit answer, with some kind of solution."

"I think... I think you're right. I think that we need to see what's going to happen between us, because I can't be without you, either. But at the same time, you've been with... _him_ for five years for a reason. You've stuck by him for a reason, so I can't... I can't ask you to throw that away for me. I have to... you have to be comfortable. I don't want to push this with you, because I want you. Bella, I can't watch you walk away again." He murmured, pressing his forehead against mine.

Part of me wanted to tell him that maybe I'd been with James for so long because I hadn't know that _he_ existed. I hadn't known that I could feel all of this for one person. And even though I wasn't exactly sure what it was at this very moment, it definitely felt like it could eventually turn into love and that scared the shit out of me. But despite knowing the damage that I'd be causing to myself if I fell in love with him, I couldn't walk away; it was too late, he had me - I was his.

"You aren't pushing anything if I want it too."

"You... you'd want that? Would you want it to be just the two of us?"

Sometimes I wondered if he had selective hearing and completely ignored me constantly telling him I wanted him. I tilted my chin up and brushed my lips against his. "Of course I'd want it to be just the two of us."

"Do you think we'd last?" He asked with a shaky breath, gripping my waist tighter and pulling me impossibly closer to his chest. I looked up at him and his eyes gave away all the insecurity he held and was trying to not show.

"Of course." I replied without the slightest hesitation. My feelings, whatever they wound up being... this wanting him, would never go away; I was sure of it. "Don't you?"

He kissed my cheek and I felt him sigh against it. "Definitely. But I was worried that you might start to realize how boring I am once we aren't sneaking around."

What? I shifted my whole body, spinning it around to face him. A sharp chill making me shiver as my wet skin hit the cool air. "Edward, you're not boring. You're a talented photographer, who is funny, and smart, and romantic and everything a girl could want in a guy. I love that you put up with my weird habits, and seem eager to learn more. I love that your mom bought you a puppy in 3rd grade but you let Jasper name it because he was bummed he didn't get one for his birthday. I love that you downplay your greatness as a photographer when you could be flaunting it and running the industry with your skills. I love...." my heart sped and up and I noticed that his mouth was slightly open as he stared at me. "I love that you flew out here because we missed each other."

**EPOV**

I just stared at her because I realized then that she was about to tell me she loved _me._ Not James or some other guy... but me.

"Bella, I know this is kind of dumb, and a little out of left field, but go with me okay? There isn't... anybody else, right?"

She shook her head slowly, and looked confused. I didn't blame her; I was too. "...what?"

I sighed, and shook my head. "You and me... it's just you and me right? There's no... you and Steve... you and Tim. It's just... you and me?"

"No, of course not. Why, are you... are you with other women?" She asked, her voice climbing in pitch as she scooted away from me. I hated it when she did that.

I pulled her back into me and pushed my head into her shoulder. "No, baby, of course not. I just... I've never _felt_ for someone what I'm feeling for you, and" My voice was cracking, but I really wanted to get this out. "I don't think I could take it if there was... someone else."

She let out a deep breath, twisting her fingers in my hair and lightly scratching my scalp. "Edward, why would there be anyone else when everything I'll ever want or need is in this tub with me right now?" Bella added, then she pressed a kiss to my hair.

I smiled into her skin and kissed a line across her shoulder. "Baby, I'm not that great. But... I'm glad you need me. I need you too; always, Bella. You..." I sucked in a breath then whispered, "You're my forever."

She pulled back a little and was searching my eyes for something as she whispered: "Do you mean it?"

I looked at her, and knew it was true. I might have said it just to say it, but looking at her in front of me now I knew it was true. "Yes."

**BPOV**

I leaned forward, brushing my nose against his before my lips reached out for him. His lips reacted to my touch by grazing against my mouth in a perfect rhythm. We took our time, just let our mouths and tongues get reacquainted. He tasted amazing, he always tasted amazing but being able to move slowly and not rush onto more cardiovascular activities allowed me to really take him in. He tasted fresh and sweet like honeydew but intoxicated my mouth like wine. We pulled away after a few moments, our chests heaving as we panted gulping down air. I bit my lower lip as I stared at his half open eyes. He tilted his head and pressed his lips back against mine with a bit more conviction. I moaned into his mouth and his arms tightened around my waist as he moved to stand, pulling me up with him. He lifted me up by my waist, not letting our lips separate as he stepped out of the bath, carrying me and standing on the bath mat. He set my feet down onto the furry rug as he pulled his lips from mine, panting again. His eyes opened a bit more and he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, tracing my jawline with the back of his finger.

"I need you Bella," he stated softly. "For always. I need you."

"You have me, always Edward. Always." I whispered against his lips. I felt his arms skim down my sides as our lips reconnected and our tongues brushed against one another. His arms tilted and my feet were suddenly off the ground as he held me bridal style and walked through the bathroom to the bed, not letting his lips move from mine. He gently lowered me onto the mattress, crawling over me in the process. His mouth released mine and I felt his nose brush along my cheek and down my jaw to my neck. "Bella, I won't ever get enough of you. I love the way you taste on my lips, and how your skin smells, and the way you feel around me and against me." He murmured into my shoulder, sucking lightly on my skin. I let out a breath and moaned quietly at his touch. "I love the sounds you make when I'm pleasing you. You make my cock so hard it feels like its straining against its skin." He continued. I arched my back up as I felt his lips wrap around one of my nipples as the other was given attention by his hand. He sucked on it and bit down lightly. "Mmm, Edward... god..." I panted arching my chest into him even more. His lips released my breast with a 'pop' and he trailed gentle kisses over to the other. "Your breasts are perfect. They fit perfectly in my hands, not too small not too big, as if they were made for me... like you were made for me Bella. My Bella..." he breathed onto my breast before taking the nipple in his mouth and flicking his tongue over it. I lolled my head back mewing in pleasure at the sensation. His mouth slowly made it's way down my stomach, leaving wet, open mouth kisses in its wake. Each part of me was electrified by his touch and reflexively arched into wherever his lips were. "Edward... please..." I begged breathlessly as my hands tangled in his hair. His lips kissed over my bare mound and just barely dusted over where I needed to feel him most. I whimpered out a moan. "This is one of my favorite parts of you, Bella..." he whispered against my soaking wet lips. "This is the one part of you, aside from your eyes, that can never hide how you feel about me." I lifted my hips towards him, trying to get some kind of contact. He blew cool air over my wet core and I let out a ragged breath. "Baby, do you know how lucky I am... how much I think about you like this? About how I can get you like this...?"

"Only for you," I moaned, trying once again without success to feel his mouth on me. He groaned at my words, and rubbed his nose against the top of my entrance, placing a soft kiss on my clit. I let out relieved sigh as his lips returned and began sucking on my throbbing bundle of nerves. I arched my hips up and pushed them down towards his face. I needed more; I would always need more of Edward, my thirst for him was incalculable. I felt his lips turn into a smirk against my skin as he pulled away, widening his tongue and dragging it slowly between my folds.

"Ohhh... unnngh... Edward..." I panted, gulping down a mouthful of air. His lips returned to my clit as two of his fingers repeated his tongue's actions and slid between my pussy's lips. "Tell me what you need Bella. I want to give you everything you need." He murmured against my core.

"You Edward," I moaned, feeling my wetness seep onto his hand. "I need you.... buried inside me." He moaned against my clit and I almost came undone right there. His mouth moved to my folds sucking on each of them lightly before I felt his body hover over me, and his face was once again aligned with mine. He was on his knees, his amazing cock that made me feel levels of pleasure and wholeness I didn't know I was capable of feeling was at full attention. "Edward please... I need you." I repeated as he gripped his dick with one hand and ran it up and down my lips. "God baby, you're so wet for me. I love how wet you get for me... it's so fucking sexy."

"Mmm.. Edward, god please just--"

He cut me off, as he slid into me slowly, filling me to the hilt. "Unnngg Bella..." He groaned as he moved his hips around letting me feel every inch of him. I lolled my head back at the sensation. Nothing could possibly ever feel as good as Edward inside me, it just wasn't possible. I felt his body drop, as one arm moved to the side of me to prop him up. His lips placing soft, lingering open mouth kisses along the column of my neck. His hips began rocking back and forth slowly as he thrust against me. "Fuck Bella... you're so warm and tight." He hissed into my ear before placing a gentle kiss just below my earlobe. My hands slid to his back as I ran my fingernails up and down. I lifted my knees up crossing them at my ankles as they hovered above his back. "God Edward... please, fuck me... please, I need you." He growled, moving his head above mine and looking directly into my eyes. "Baby, I could never deny you what you want or need... know that." He whispered before lowering his lips and pressing them against mine firmly. He exhaled noisily through his nose as his lips never left mine and his hips began to buck wildly against me. I released my lips from his, as he began slamming right into my sweet spot. My head lashed back into the pillowed. "OH FUCK EDWARD!! GOD!! OH GOD!" I screamed as his free hand gripped my hip even tighter and he drilled into me. "That's it baby, cum... cum for me, all over my cock." He murmured into the valley between my breast. Fuck, he was amazing. I needed to feel him cum too. "Baby, cum with me, please."

"I--I can't," he panted "I didn't wear anything baby." Fuck, I really needed to get on the pill asap. I needed to feel him fill me, because earlier when I let myself get lost in the moment and begged him to let go inside me? That was fucking amazing. I felt his hand trail along my hip and over my mound. I knew what was coming and it was going to be me in two seconds. My breath hitched as I felt his thumb press against my swollen clit and rub circles over it. "UNGH EDWARD!!" I moaned loudly, shooting my hands into his hair and fisting his strands tightly. He groaned into my shoulder and nipped at my neck. "Baby, are you going to cum, I need you to cum, all over my cock. Please baby, please.. milk my dick." At his command, I arched my back into him and let go. Wave after wave of euphoria rolled through me and I felt his teeth sink even harder into me. I groaned at the feel of it as he slowed his thrusts to a stop.

"Baby," I whispered, panting into his ear. "Baby, fuck my mouth. I want to feel you cum down my throat... please baby?"

His breath was labored as it fanned over my face. "Bella..." He lifted his head, looking down at me. My eyes went wide and I pouted a little. "Please baby, please let me suck you off?"

He groaned, shutting his eyes and nodding. I felt him slide out of me and move off the mattress. I sat up, my eyes raking over his body as he stood at the foot of the bed. I crawled to the edge of the bed and moved down, onto the floor. I sat up, kneeling in front of him. His body smelled like sex and his dick glistened with my cum. My tongue dragged from the base of his shaft up to just below his tip, repeating the action around him. His hands flew into my hair and weaved through my strands, pulling lightly. God we tasted good. When I was done licking myself off his length my lips wrapped around his tip pulling it into my mouth and sucking it hard. "Ungh! Fuck Bella.." He moaned as his hips began rocking his cock in and out of my mouth. I took a breath and relaxed my throat as my lips wrapped around more of him. One of my hands slid up the back of his leg and grabbed his ass, thrusting him into me deeper. "Baby... ungh.... shit... I'm so close." I pushed my mouth further down on him, feeling his tip bounce on the back of my throat. I let out an audible breath through my nose and relaxed a bit more as his cock went down my throat. His hips thrust faster against me and my free hand reached up to massage his sac. I wanted him to cum, I wanted to taste him and show him how much I appreciated everything we were despite everything. "Shit baby... fuck... god, your mouth... it's.... fuck.... I'm going to... Belllla!" He groaned as his hands pulled on my hair and I felt him shoot off his cum down my throat. I hummed against him and he groaned again, slowly moving against my mouth as he continued his release. He was panting loudly, and ran his fingers through my hair affectionately as he pulled out. I wrapped a hand around his shaft and licked him clean. When I was done, I looked up at him smiling brightly. "I think I like the way I taste better on your cock than your lips."

**EPOV**

**I looked down at her smiling face, and I couldn't even comprehend what she had just said. **_**Better on my... oh god.**_** I stood her up, and pressed my lips to hers, tasting Bella, me and sex all over her lips. Good fucking lord. I scooped her up quickly and brought her to bed, where I cradled her to my chest. I pushed the hair back from her forehead, smiling down at her. **

"I missed you, Bella."

She laughed and snuggled into me, "I missed you."

I sighed and began rubbing circles on her back. "So... what have you been up to the last few days?"

"Mostly work. It saved me at the time I needed it. I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this week missing you as much as I did, so when this New York project came up it was perfect. Plus I'm doing pretty well there. I think they might try and steal me away from my current employer and ask me work with them exclusively."

I pulled her closer into my chest, tangling our legs as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Would you want that?" I hoped not. I wanted Bella to do well; really, I did. But I didn't want her so far away from me. What would i do then?

"I'd want that eventually, I think. Either when you and Tanya get married or when I finally decide it's ridiculous to be with James anymore and take the initiative and leave him."

I sighed at the thought of not seeing her again, burying my face in her hair. "Bella... I... don't want to think about you leaving me anymore. I hate that, Baby. It makes my heart hurt."

She placed a small kiss to my chest, then nuzzled the spot with her cheek. "I'm sorry; I'll drop it. So... what about you? How was your week?"

"Horrible," I groaned. "I missed you so fucking much. It was absolute hell not being able to see you."

She lifted her head, looking up at me with clear brown eyes. "I'm really glad you called me last night, Edward. I haven't slept well since Sunday. My body is like... unable to rest without you."

I curled into her, "If I had my way, you wouldn't have to." Okay, where the fuck did I get off saying shit like that to her? That... that... oddly enough, that was the truth.

"Your way? Edward, I don't see you leaving Tanya ever... so how is what you just said true, at all?"

"Bella, I--"

"Exactly Edward." She said, her face falling as she rolled away from me and curled up in a ball. "Just... don't lie to me, okay? You saying that if you had it 'your way' things would be different... just don't give me false hope."

I sat up and looked over her. "Do you want me to do it? Because I want you to be happy, and if breaking up with her and being with you will make that happen, then that's what I'll do. Bella, I've been with her for seven years. I've never done anything like this _ever. _I don't know what to say or not to say; all I know is what I'm feeling. Bella, I'm so completely torn because for seven fucking years, I've only wanted one girl... just the one. But then you happened, and Bella you lit my world on fire. You showed me what being with someone really is; and... and I'm coming to find that I can live without her, but not without you. Never without you, Bella."

"Edward," she sighed, "I can't be the one to tell you to end it with her. You need to want to do it, because I don't want you in 10 or 20 or 40 years regretting the decision you made. So I can't tell you what to do. I want what you want, and if what you want is to stay with her and have me on the side until you get married then I will be here."

I hated it when she talked about herself that way. But... that's what I turned her into; I'd made her into my... something on the side. I turned away from her and pulled on my boxers as I stood up. "If I'm having something on the side, how happy could I possibly be?"

She rolled over onto her back, "You're the only--"

"No, no. I mean, really; think about it. It absolutely disgusts me when I think of cheating on you. I literally want to vomit when I think that I could do that to you. But here I am, doing that to her and I'm not even batting an eyelash. But, Bella, what if you don't want me? What will I do then?" My breath caught in my throat when I realized that I could just be something on the side to her.

She sat up, wrapping the sheet around her body and leaning against the headboard. "Edward, I will never not want you. I don't... that's like... not even a possibility. I've wanted you more since that first kiss, hell that first _dinner _than I've wanted anyone else, _including James _... ever."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Then what the hell are we doing? Why didn't we break up with them ages ago? What's stopping me from calling her right now and ending it?"

She shrugged. "Because you love her and you don't want to leave someone you do love for someone you don't?"

I furrowed my brow and looked at her. No, I didn't love her yet; at least I didn't think so. But she actually thought that... she thought that I cared more for Tanya than I did for her? Shit... I'd let this go too far, and now I was paying. I walked to the edge of the bed slowly and took a pillow. "If that's what you think, then I probably shouldn't be here."

"That's not the case then, Edward?" She asked, her voice defiant. "You love me?"

I looked down at the pillow in my hand and shifted my weight. I felt like I was six again. "I... I'm about to."

She sat up on her knees, moving toward me on the bed. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. Do I love you right now? No, I don't think so. But I will, Bella. I can feel it. This... you and I... I'm going to love you." I took a deep breath and watched her. "It's inevitable."

She put one hand on the pillow and tried to gently tug it from my hand. "Then why were you going to go sleep somewhere else?" She asked, then looked down at the mattress. "Edward, me too. Know that... me too." She looked up at me, giving her most adorable smile. "come to bed Edward; it's late."

"But... Bella, you have to believe me. You... you have to. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm going to do stupid shit. But I do need you... and want you. That's not a lie, Bella. None of it is a lie. At least for me."

"We're both going to fuck up, we're in a fucked up situation. We're both going to hit a point where it's going to be make or break, but I hope we get a little more time where this is just... good, before that happens. But I know you want me, and you have to know that I want and need you too Edward. That way if and when this does wind up coming to the fork in the road where we can either decide to be together or to part ways, we'll have always had this - New York and office introductions... firework-inducing kisses at the docks... sex in Italian restaurants, and lazy Sunday mornings under the covers. And none of it would have meant anything it, if it hadn't been with you."

I sighed and walked back to the edge of the bed and put the pillow back in place. "I want you to be happy, Bella. No matter what that means."

"Edward, I am happy. I have a job I love, a great family, and for the next few days I get to pretend that the one man I want to be with forever is all mine and only mine."

I put my hands on my hips and looked at her. "Baby, I... I don't know what to do."

"Be with me."

I cupped her face in my hands. "I'm always with you."

"Then that's all you have to do." She said with a smile.

I leaned in and kissed her, wishing that was true. There was so much more that i had to do... so much more that she deserved. But could I give it to her? How could I promise her something that I'm already supposed to have given away?

**BPOV**

I woke up surrounded by Edwards arms. I smiled and sighed contently as I felt him nuzzled my neck. "Morning sunshine." He murmured into my hair. "Mmm.. you're awake?" I asked, scratching his forearm with my fingertips. "Yeah, for a few minutes. You're the cutest sleeper ever. You mumble in your sleep, did you know that?" I laughed quietly, hoping I hadn't said anything too embarrassing. "Yeah, I used to full on talk in my sleep as a kid." His lips pressed against my temple, as his whispered. "Well, it's adorable."

My body twisted and I rolled over so I could face him. His arms repositioned around my waist and I looped my arms around his neck. "Hi." I said, smiling brightly. He grinned and kissed my forehead softly. "Hey."

"What did you want to do today?"

He yawned, laughing sleepily. "Get some clothes."

I laughed, kissing his chin. "You didn't bring any?"

"No time. You needed me, so I came as soon as I could."

"Edward..."

"Baby..."

I closed my eyes and sighed, pressing my lips against his. "Thank you."

His lips brushed over my eyelids feather-lightly. "For what? You'd do it for me."

"Yeah but, we hadn't talked and --"

"Baby, you needed me. I'll always come when you need me."

I loved him. It was that simple and that complicated. I opened my eyes and looked at him for a moment before closing them and kissing his lips tenderly. I loved him and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

**EPOV**

Some how I managed to pry myself out of bed, and after a quick shower we were on the street, trying to buy some clothes.

"Where do you want to go?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Anywhere. I just need... clean underwear or something." I said with a laugh, kissing the top of her head.

"Well, being naked in bed with me doesn't require any underwear." She murmured, kissing my chest through my tee shirt.

I ran my hand up and down her side. "Speaking of which, we should probably get some condoms while we're out. As unromantic as it is."

"It's not about romance Edward. I just love how it feels when you cum inside me."

"Baby, I love it too. Trust me, I love it. But we can't risk it... not now, any way." Shit, what the hell was I saying? Not yet? Would we be trying anytime soon? Was this something that we were thinking about? Were Bella and I really a we? I looked down at her and knew immediately that it was true. Bella and I were a we. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, and sighed as that familiar warm tingle rolled through my body. Maybe I... maybe I did love her. I really loved her. Not the way I loved Tanya. Something was different between Bella and I, and it was definitely stronger than anything I had ever felt before. I spotted a Lord & Taylor and pulled her inside.

"I've never been here before." She said, clinging tightly to my hand and looking around wide eyed.

I laughed and pulled her toward the men's department. "Bella, it's a department store. You'll be fine."

"I know, but I mean--"

I pulled her back into my side and kissed the side of her head. "Lighten up, kid. Help me pick out some clothes."

I grabbed a black tee shirt, but Bella wanted me to get green, so I did. Then I got a dress shirt and pants for later. "You never told me where we're going." Bella said as I grabbed some shoes.

"That's because it's a surprise, Love." I replied with a grin.

She rolled her eyes, and cocked her hip to the side. "You _have_ to tell me, Edward."

I leaned in and kissed her on the nose. "I don't have to do anything, Bella."

"Yeah you do." She said with a smirk.

"Hmm, no. Just enjoy it. You'll have fun I promise." I looped my arm through hers and headed for the check out.

"Well... can you at least give me a hint? I need to know if I should be picking up something here too or if I can wear jeans."

"You should probably grab one. I can say that much."

"Grab one what? A pair of jeans?"

Irolled my eyes and let her go. "A dress, Love. A dress."  
She leaned up and kissed my cheek, smiling brightly at me. "Alright. I'm going to run up then and look around. Did you want me to meet you here?"

"Sure."

I plopped down in a chair to wait for her. An hour and a half later, She finally reappeared. "Ready?" She asked brightly.

I stood and cocked and eyebrow. "Mhm." I held out my hand to take the dress from her, but she pulled it away. "Let me pay."

I laughed and went for it again. "Uh, no. My treat."

She laughed right back at me. "Nope. Not this time, Mister."

"Bella..."

"Edward..."

"Gimme."

"You give me!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

I groaned and she grabbed my hand, taking me over to the cash wrap. The woman behind the counter smiled at us, and Bella put her dress there. "Edward, now."

"You aren't buying my stuff, too."

"Sure I am."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I have money."

She grinned then pretended to look through her bag, pulling out her wallet. "Ohmigod, me too!"

I rolled my eyes at her and the sales lady laughed. "I'd listen to your wife, sir. She doesn't seem like she's going to back down."

I smiled at Bella, and I swear I don't know what the fuck was happening to me as I said, "No. She can be pretty stubborn when she wants to be." And I handed her my shit. So just to recap: Bella was MY WIFE and she bought my Calvin Klein boxers. I'm not sure which one made me more uneasy. But... I'm pretty sure it was the boxers. I grumbled as Bella paid, and I grabbed her hand as we walked out of the store.

"Thank you." I whispered, kissing the back of her hand.

"Thank you as well... for conceding defeat." She grinned and looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

I shook my head and wrapped my arm around her pulling he into my side. "I'll get you back. Don't worry about it."

"You can _try _at least. I'm impressed with your ambition." She leaned over and kissed my neck.

"And why is that, love?"  
"Because you actually think I'll let you win. It's endearing." She laughed.

"Love, I always win." I said, giving her a small squeeze. She didn't know I couldn't say no to her. Well, at least I thought she didn't.

She nipped a little at my ear lobe, then sucked gently on my neck. "Please baby, let me win..."

Shit. "Baby... play fair."

She kissed my pulse point and whispered against my skin. "what are you talking about... I _am"_ She said as she bit the spot she just kissed.

I led her into the elevator, and wrapped my arms around her. "that is not fair and you know it."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, smirking at me. "I think it's perfectly fair."

I rolled my eyes and kissed her. "You would, Baby."

I leaned down and kissed her neck as she tossed her head back and moaned. "See? Not fair."

"Who cares about fair..." she murmured, "don't stop.."

I smirked into her skin and plotted a course across her neck and jaw until the elevator came to a stop and I pulled away. "What should we do now?" I asked, giving her a crooked smile.

She looked up at me, her eyes hooded with lust as she panted slightly. I loved doing that to her; she never looked sexier than when I'd just gotten done with her. She was about to open her mouth when her cell phone started to ring noisily. She groaned and pulled it out, as I put my hand on the small of her back and led her down the hallway. She stopped suddenly, and I looked down at her. "What's wrong?"

My first thought was that it was James. I didn't want him messing us up. We were happy, she and I. We didn't need anymore of everybody else.

"It's work. I can't believe that--"

"Baby, it's fine. You deal with it, and I'll take care of tonight."

"You sure?" She asked, looking at me like I was going to scream at her.

I laughed a little and kissed her forehead. "Yeah, of course. I'll meet you back here in a few hours, okay? Do what you need to do, love."

"I hope that this doesn't take that long, but okay." She leaned up, pressing her lips softly to mine.

I pulled away, and looked down at her. "I'll see you later, okay? Call if you need me."

She nodded. "Come home soon, ok?"

I put my hand on the back of her neck and kissed her softly. "Always."

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and nodded, so I kissed her forehead before I turned away. That would have been a good moment to tell her I loved her; that home was where ever she was. That I needed her more than anything, that I wanted to be with her-- really be with her. But something stopped me. Something kept me from really saying what I felt. Something tall, skinny, and blonde. Someone I was pretty sure wouldn't care when I came home. Someone who probably wasn't missing me at all, even though we were 3,000 miles apart. I was fairly certain that the moment I saw Bella again, she would launch herself into my arms and kiss me where ever she could, and that was the minute that I realized that this game I'd been playing had officially come to an end. You don't fly across the country for someone who doesn't mean anything to you; you only do that shit for people you loved.

I was coming to realize... that I loved Bella Swan.


	10. Chapter 10

Dude... I think I forgot how to update.

No I think we just write for our benefit instead of everyone elses. I mean we've got at LEAST 10 chapters worth of this awesomeness written out.

KELLA! Don't say that! Cause then when it takes like, three weeks for us to update... we'll have like... a mutiny

Well... 10 chapters of unrevised work. How's that?

Better. But I bet our rough shit is better than anything SMeyer (the lady who owns this shit) has ever written.

Well depends what you consider "better". Smuttier? Def.

:D

* * *

**BPOV**

I sat on the couch that separated the living room area from the bedroom area, my laptop heating up my lap. It had been over 2 hours and we just kept going around in circles. "I just think that for them to put in a bid after the deadline, shows a great amount of disrespect even if technically it was done in the 11th hour." I replied, toying with my cellphone in my hand as I listened on speakerphone to the others' comments. I heard murmuring in the background but no concrete feedback. "Come on guys! Why are we busting our backs on a Saturday over a company that wasn't even in our final top 10? So what if they came back with a strong offer, Chanel will be known through whichever company we decide to market with." I heard the front door open and waved with my free hand as Edward strolled through. "Do you really feel that JcPenny's is where you want to go when compared to Macy's or H&M even if the initial return on investment is higher? What about reputation? Brand? Do you really see JcPenny's as being on par with the level of quality and pridesmanship that the other two companies display?" There were more mumblings and after a few more minutes of back and forth I found myself having to set the pace for the decision. "Okay guys, we've been at this over 2 hours. Obviously if their offer was _that_ great it wouldn't take this long to make a decision. I say we stick to the two companies we decided last night and if necessary revisit the JcPenny idea Monday afternoon after we've all met and shared data on H&M and Macy's okay?" I heard more grumbling and I look towards Edward who was leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed smiling at me. I rolled my eyes and imitated giving a hand job to show my annoyance at the lag. He chuckled quietly and nodded, not moving from his spot. "GUYS!" I scolded after a few minutes of back and forth with no one really saying anything worthwhile. "This is what we're doing. We have until..." I started looking down at my laptop where the file was, "until end of business Monday to give them a response on their offer. Let's see what we can compile on all _three _companies - Daniel that would appease you right? And once we do we can compare apples to apples and see what direction we want to go in." The team finally managed to come to an agreement and we confirmed that we would meet at 11am on Monday to analyze the data. I snapped my phone shut and sighed, looking over at Edward.

He pushed off the wall making his way over to where I was sitting on the sofa. "Everything okay, love?"

I nodded, closing my computer and putting it down on the coffee table. "Mhm, how was the outside world? You get everything done that you needed to?"

He grinned smugly. "Uh huh."

"Are you going to give me any hints?"

"Uh, no."He stated decidedly, shoving his hands into his pockets and giving me a big campy smile.

I stood up and brushed my lips against his. "Not even if I ask nicely?"

He pursed his lips, looking up at the ceiling as if contemplating my plea. "Mmmmmm nope."

"Okay, thought I'd give it a shot." I said, shrugging and wrapping my arms around his neck. "So how much time do we have between now and these mystery plans of yours?"

"hour and a half. That okay?"

"Yeah, did you want to veg here until we have to get ready then? Or did you wanna go back out?"

"Whatever. Don't girls need a shit ton of time to get ready?" He teased, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

I laughed against him and kissed his clavicle. "Yeah that's right. I'm such high maintenance an hour and a half may not be enough time.."

"Well..."

"Maybe you should join me in the shower then... you know, to be my time keeper." I replied, pulling away from his body and walking backwards towards the bathroom.

"Okay."

I laughed. "It wasn't a peer pressure threat Edward. You don't have to; I'm fully capable of bathing on my own. The invite was solely for your benefit."

He nodded, smiling widely. "I know."

My arm extended, reaching out for his hand and he grasped it, following me in to the bathroom. My lips were on his the instant that we were both inside the tiled room, kissing him passionately. His hands worked frantically to undo my pants as his urgency matched my own. We made quick work of removing most of our clothes and while I unfastened my bra and pushed my underwear down my hips Edward turned on the shower.

His arms wrapped around my waist as his lips crashed against mine. "Bella, I need you." He panted, his breath fanning over my lips as he rested his forehead against mine and nuzzled my nose gently.

I hummed, wrapping my arms around him and placing soft kisses down his neck. "You have me, always."

He lifted me up, stepping us into the shower and closing the glass door shut behind him, as I let the hot water cascade down from my head. His body moved to press against mine and his mouth dipped to the base of my neck sucking softly. My hands tangled in his hair and I tilted my head back moaning softly as I felt his tongue move against my skin as he planted open mouthed kisses along my collar bone. "Fuck, Edward... I need you... please..."

**EPOV**

I was about ready to give her whatever the fuck she wanted. I felt her hands start to pull and twist my hair, and I pulled away a little bit to look at her. She leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth before moving down my jaw and neck. Then she started to kneel. I tried to pull her up, but she wasn't having it. She wrapped one hand around my solid cock, and looked up at me with big doe eyes, water dripping off of her. "Baby, you do so much for me, and I just want to give you this one thing. Please, baby... let me suck you off."

Now, what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? Hm? Any suggestions? Yeah, didn't think so.

I groaned, and my eyes snapped shut as I put on hand on the wall to brace myself. I felt her hands run up and down my legs, and she said something... I wasn't sure what it was, but still; I'd heard Bella's voice. But before I had a chance to ask her what it was, she leaned in and took my cock in her mouth. I groaned as my hand shot into her hair and tangled in it. She went down slowly at first, and at the base she twisted her head slightly before coming back up, moaning as she did. That shit was fucking hot. "Fuck... Bella... your mouth... I fucking.... shit..." She went down slowly one more time, but I needed more.

"Bella, please..." I felt her smile around my cock and moan, picking up her pace as she bobbed up and down my shaft. She was moving faster and faster, using her tongue to trace the veins along the underside of my shaft. That was fucking heaven on a stick, my friend. Then she reached up and swiped at my balls once,twice before finally cupping them and rolling them in her hands. My hips started bucking into her mouth, and pulling on her hair. "FUCK, BELLA!"

It was just too much. It was all too much: Her mouth, her hand... just fucking her. "Baby.. shit... I'm gonna... FUCK!"

I slammed my hand down on the wall as she wrapped her arms around my ass and held me tight her her mouth as I shot my cum down her throat. I started panting, and watched her as she twisted her head slowly at the base before dragging up my softening cock, and releasing me with a small pop. She leaned back in and kissed the tip before resting back on her heels and smiling up at me. I crouched down in front of her, putting my arms on her shoulders. "You don't have to do that, you know."

She nodded, looking at me like I had 5738205 heads. "I know. But I like to; I like making you happy."

I smiled and pulled her into me, resting my cheek on her temple. "You make me happy; just you. I don't need the other shit... just you."  
She hummed contentedly into my skin and placed a few lazy kisses there. "Me too. Only you Edward, only ever you."

I nodded and kissed her slowly, trying to prove to her that I meant it; that I would want her, even if she didn't have such a skilled mouth. She pulled away, in sort of a cute little haze and slowly opened her eyes. "We... we should get moving."

I kissed her one more time before helping her to her feet. We both showered, then she sequestered herself in the bathroom getting ready. I was nervous about tonight, if only because I wanted everything to be perfect for Bella. She deserved it. After everything I'd put her through... fuck, she deserved a medal. I decided to call Tanya and check in while I was waiting, but she didn't pick up.

"Uh, hey Baby, it's me. I was just calling to say hi and see what you're up to. Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about when I get back. It's nothing bad, it's just important. I'll talk to you later, babe."

I hung up, and leaned against the window frame, looking out at the city when I felt Bella's arms wrap around my waist. "Everything okay?"

I nodded and turned in her arms, "Fine." I leaned in and kissed her nose, pushing the hair off of her face. "You look pretty."

She laughed a little, and pulled away, twirling a little in her purple dress. "You think?"

"You're always pretty, so yeah."

She laughed a little, and pulled on my hand. "Well, you're kinda pretty, too. Now, let's go. I wanna know what my surprise is!"

I laughed and shook my head a little, following her downstairs and into a cab where I gave the cabby the address. She was putting her cell phone in her bag when I saw something... different in there. I pulled one out and cocked an eyebrow. "Condoms?"

She shrugged, "I plan on jumping you whenever and where ever I want. Girl's gotta be prepared." She snatched it back from me, and replaced it, then looked up at me with an exaggerated sigh. "Would you deny me Edward?"

She was just so damn cute sometimes. I laughed and pulled her into me, kissing her lightly. "No. Not ever."

We pulled up and I paid, which gave Bella time to stand on the sidewalk and look up at the sky scraper. "What is this?"

I shrugged and gave her my arm. "You'll see."

**BPOV**

I wrapped my hand in his and we swung our arms lightly as we walked inside and rode the elevator with two other couples. If I thought I'd been impressed by the exterior, the interior threw me for a complete loop as the doors opened onto the main dining area. The room was surrounded by floor to ceiling windows that looked out over Times Square and there was low lighting mixed with dark red, yellows and blues. "Edward... how did you... when... how..." I was in such a state of surprise I evidently didn't know how to form a complete thought.

His lips pressed against the back of my hand and he shot me a shy smile. "Do you like it?"

My eyes couldn't tear from the decor as I breathed, "Edward, I love it... but it's..." my eyes peeled away from the seating area and looked up at him, "it's too much. I don't... you didn't have to do all this."

He shrugged aloofly. "I know I didn't have to; but I wanted to. It's our first date, Bella."

I leaned up and brushed my lips against his softly, trying to hide the blush that had covered my cheeks. How could Tanya be so distant and not want to be around him? When he had been in the conference room with my team and I the other night, my mind had drifted back to the night we first met when he said Tanya didn't even let him up to her office. Why? He was obviously the most amazing, talented man out there; it blew my mind that either she was oblivious to it or took it for granted that he would always be there. "Love, I'm going to go see if our table's ready, I'll be right back." He whispered into my ear, placing a soft kiss just below my earlobe. I felt the familiar heat spread from where his lips has just been down my neck and through my chest. I nodded slowly and he squeezed my hand before dropping it and walking over to the podium where the hostess was standing.

Not even a minute later, Edward was strolling back offering me his hand. "Are you ready Bella? Our table's ready." He crooned. Or maybe he just said it, but all I heard was crooning... because god, everything he was saying made me swoon. It was almost laughable how big of a pile of putty I'd turned into since he'd been back. Everything he said, every touch he left burning on my skin, was magnified tenfold. I smiled and took his hand and as waiter approached us and guided us towards a table along the back corner against one of the windows, where we could see the blazing lights of New York City flashing in the fading sun. The waiter moved to pull out my chair but Edward held his hand up, interrupting his gesture.

"I can do that, but thank you." He said, his jaw clenching and unclenching quickly. The waiter smirked and nodded. "Very well, I'll be back in a few moments to take your drink orders. My name is Nevin if you need anything." Edward nodded a thank you and slid out my chair. I smiled up towards him as I took my seat. "You know, I'm pretty sure he was very capable of doing that himself." I chided playfully as he scooted me closer to the table. "Yes," he replied his voice dropping low, "but then I couldn't do this," he said pausing to kiss the spot where my neck and shoulder met, "and taste you once more before we ate." I sighed at his touch and bit my lip, unable to hold my smile back. He moved to the other side of the table and took his seat, grabbing the menu and smirking.

"What?" I asked once I had snapped out of my momentary daze as the lingering feel of Edward's lips slowly faded from my skin.

"You heard me."

"I didn't hear anything after you kissed me, sorry... temporary hearing loss due to euphoria."

He looked up at me, his eyes focused and his jaw locked, gazing at me seriously. "I'll have you before we leave this restaurant."

My breath quickened at his words and I wanted to ask if it'd be impolite for him to take me right here against this table before our drinks arrived. "Edward... jesus..." My chest was heaving up and down visibly as my breath grew even shorter as mental images came into my mind of how and where... and _fuck_. "Can we go--" I began whispering unaware that the waiter was standing beside our table, until I heard him clear his throat.

"Have we decided on drinks to start?" He asked, his PDA style "pad" and stylus pen in hand. I swallowed hard, and looked over at Edward.

"What's the wine selections for this evening?"

"Our white wines tonight include a fantastic 2006 Italian Pinot Grigio, we also have a 2005 extra dry Reisling from the Napa Valley. Our reds this evening are a perfect Chianti from Tuscany and a full bodied Merlot from Monterrey, California."

"Bella?"

I looked over at his seemingly perplexed face and looked up at the waiter, smiling confidently. "The Riesling please - if that's alright with you Edward?" I asked turning my attention towards him.

"Whatever you want, love."

"Then the Riesling please." I confirmed looking towards the waiter. "Very good selection Miss." He retorted punching a few things onto his hand held device and taking our wine menus away. I relaxed into my seat, leaning forward towards him. My hand reached for his that was on the table and flipped it over, tracing a finger tip from the base of his palm up each finger, my eyes locked on our hands. "Baseball or football?"

"Baseball, but only because my father was a football fan. Blue or Pink?"

"Blue. New York or Seattle?"

He reached for my hand, smiling shyly. "Guess."

"I'm hoping you'll say New York, but I'm thinking you'll say Seattle."

He laughed a little, his eyes moving towards where our hands laid on the table. "It's wherever you are."

I sighed, hoping that was true. "Do you mean that?"

His eyes darted from our hands up to my eyes, his voice calm as he spoke. "Of course."

"If Chanel offers me a job and I stay..." I took a deep breath and focused my eyes on our hands before pushing out the hard part, "would you stay here with me?"

He exhaled a heavy breath before letting out, "Yes."

My eyes shot up to look at him. What? Did I hear correctly, or just what I wanted to hear? "Wh-what? You would?"

He nodded. "Yes. If you wanted me to, I'd be here with you in a heartbeat."

I smiled brightly and laughed a little to myself unable to contain my giddiness as the waiter served our appetizer of chilled shrimp. Nevin-the-waiter plated us and brought over two glasses of water followed by our bottle of wine. "Everything alright here?"

"Yes, thank you." Edward said, not taking his eyes off me and smiling lazily. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nevin turn and walk towards a table a few seats over. I raised my wine glass, grinning. "A toast, to Gargamyle the overlooked good guy."

He lifted his glass laughing a little. "To Gargamyle." Our glasses clinked and we sipped our wine, our eyes not tearing from one anothers.

My mind raced with background thoughts of work in Seattle, my family, Chanel and actually hoping that they offered me the job so I'd have a reason to ask Edward to stay with me and only me. Because I wasn't sure I had the audacity to ask him under any other circumstances.

**EPOV**

She was looking at me, but she wasn't. Her mind was twisting and turning with something that I just couldn't put my finger on. "Love? You okay?"

She nodded, and reached for my hand, twisting her fingers with mine. "I'm perfect. If I haven't said it already, thank you for tonight."

I shook my head, and watched her carefully. "It's not a problem. I'm glad you like it." And I was. This is what she deserved; someone who could take her out and hold her hand without looking out of the corner of his eye for his fucking fiancée. I sighed and squeezed her hand a little as she smiled at me.

"What else should we do while I'm here?"

"I don't know. Um... are there any galleries you wanted to go to?"

I traced lines on the palm of her hands with my fingers, taking in the faint trail of red they were leaving behind. "I've seen most of them. My grandparents used to live out here. This is your trip, love. I'm just tagging along."

"It's just my work trip. I wasn't anticipating a pleasure side of it, so let that part be _ours_."

I rolled my eyes at her people pleasing ways. There wasn't anything that I could make her do or see, and I didn't even want to begin to try. "Love, there must be _something_ you've always wanted to do..."

"The library. I've always wanted to see the New York Public Library."

I laughed. Bella would. "Okay. If that's what you want. But maybe we could... stay in a bit?"

"What for?" She asked, a sly smile spreading across her delicate features.

I smirked, "Guess."

She shook her head like a two year old. "Nope. Not this time. I want to hear you tell me; I'd hate to make assumptions..."

I lifted her hand up and pulled it toward me, and sure enough she followed. I could feel her breath coming out in hot pants over my face, her eyes dark and hooded. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. "Baby, I wanna fuck you dry. I bought a whole box of condoms today... don't make me waste them."

She lowered her face to mine, panting against me. "You know how wet you get me. It may take more than one box to fuck me _dry_."

I laughed again, then turned my head to kiss her cheek. "I was hoping you'd say that. We have one box for tonight, then we can grab another on our way back from the library."

She sat back, looking at me carefully. "I have 4 in my purse. What are the chances we can use them up before we make it back to the hotel tonight?"

I smirked and sat back, "One for the bathroom, one for the elevator, one for the taxi and... ladies' choice?"

"Hmm..." She said, pursing her lips and looking around. "There." She pointed to narrow hallway with a gold-clawed antique looking table just around the corner from the elevators towards the coat room. "I want you to bend me over that and fuck the hell out of me."

I followed her gaze, then nodded decisively. "I could do that."

She smiled wickedly at me and wiggled a bit as whatshisface the waiter came to clear the plates. After he'd gone, she stood up and discreetly dropped her underwear in my lap. "Bathroom in 5 seconds, bring the rubber." She added casually, walking over to the bathroom.

I shook my head, smiling down at the bunched up cotton in my hand. My girl... my girl was something else.

**BPOV**

I was blocking the entrance to the ladies room like a security guard, keeping track of who entered and left. This was going to be tricky since there was no lock on the main door... we'd have to use a stall. I saw Edward trying to look completely unassuming as he walked towards me, his hands in his pockets. At last count the bathroom was empty - perfect timing. I smirked as he approached me. "Fancy meet--" I interrupted his undoubtedly cheesy but nevertheless cute line, by crushing my lips against his and pushing back on the door, dragging him inside by his shirt. His tongue traced my lips and I parted them, sucking his tongue into my mouth. He groaned as we continued the shuffle across the tiles towards the end of the room where the handicapped stall was. I felt his hands slide down my sides and around to my ass, lifting me up. My legs wrapped around his waist as we walked semi blindly into the stall and shut the door. I still couldn't fathom that my body could react like this to someone else's. It was as if my heart only beat for him and my pussy only wanted him inside. Everyone else could go fuck themselves - literally.

He shoved me hard against the stall door and I fumbled with the lock until I heard it click in place. My lips tore from his as I leaned my head back and felt his lips attack the column of my throat. "Fuck Edward..." I panted as my hands knotted in his hair. I ground my hips against his obvious erection and he grumbled into my neck, the vibrations making me purr. I untangled my legs from around him, pulling him by his belt towards me as I made quick work of dropping his slacks and boxers. His hands slid up to my waist as he tugged down my dress freeing my breasts from where they had been hiding under my strapless dress. His hot mouth began sucking on one breasts while his free hand kneaded the other. "Edward... god... ungh..." I moaned as one hand weaved through his pubic hair and gripped the base of his cock tightly. His lips moved up the path between my breasts slowly. "Bella.. shit.." he murmured thrusting his hips into my hand. His fingers ran lightly up my thigh moving inside and ghosting over my pussy. He growled into my neck, sucking on it roughly. "God baby, you're so wet and I haven't even dipped inside."

"Fuck me Edward. I need you, we don't have time... I just need you to cum for me." I begged pumping his cock with my hand. I bent down, rifling through his pant pockets for the condom. I tore the package open and looked up at him. He was staring down at me breathing heavily. I smiled sweetly up at him and he ran a hand through my hair massaging the back of my neck. I dragged my tongue up his shaft, licking the precum from his lip. His hand fisted in my hair pulling tightly. "Shit Bella..." he panted. My lips pressed a kiss onto his tip before I rolled the condom onto him. I stood up slowly not having a chance to say anything before his lips attacked mine roughly. Fuck that was the best. I loved when he was unable to control his steady pace and just let go with me. His hands moved down my ass, sliding under my dress to palm my ass cheeks and lift me up against the door. I felt his tip swipe against my clit and I shuddered. "Fuckk..." I breathed against his lips. He positioned himself at my entrance whispering, "are you ready baby?" I nodded and felt him thrust into me. "UNGH FUCK EDWARD!" I screamed as he impaled me with his huge cock. He began slamming into me hard and fast, grunting into my damp skin on my shoulder. "Fuck babby... god you're so tight... ungh... shit..." he mumbled into my shoulder fucking me wildly. I pushed against him as much as I could considering my angle. I felt myself getting close and could tell he felt it too. "God Edward, I'm going to..."

"That's it baby cum all over my cock" He growled into my ear. "Milk it baby, milk my cock. That's what you want isn't it?" He huffed. "God yes!" I screamed completely losing myself in the moment. I faintly heard a door open and close but I couldn't be bothered to care... Edward inside me felt too good. One of my arms that had been wrapped around his neck for support, trailed down under my dress as I rubbed my clit frantically. "Fuck Bella... God, I can feel you're close baby. Your pussy's sopping wet for me, come on... just a little more.. give me what I need. Let my dick be surrounded with your hot cum."

I threw my head back screaming, "FUCK OH GOD.. OH FUCK EDWARD! SHIIIIT I'M CUUUUUMMMING OH GOD!!!" I felt my pussy tighten around his dick. He grunted as he pressed his forehead into my chest, "SHIT BELLA! GOD YOUR PUSSY'S SO FUCKING TIGHT WHEN YOU CUMMM SHIIIIIIIIIIT..." he groaned as I felt him thrust once, then again shoving himself as far into me as he could and stilling as he came into the condom. We both stood there, leaning against one another gasping for air as our orgasms settled. He kissed my lips a few times affectionately before moving to my forehead. "You're amazing baby, thank you." I laughed a little; "thank me? Edward you made me cum, thank _you_." He chuckled against me before I slid my legs down trying to stand up properly as he kissed the tops of my breasts and slid my top back over them. After taking a few more breaths, Edward moved a few strands of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead, tossing the used condom in the sanitary-napkin dispenser. I helped him slide his boxers and pants back up and we unlocked the stall door only to find an older woman in her mid-late 50s washing her hands at the sink and smirking at us from her reflection in the mirror.

"Oh, to be young and in love." She said to us, chuckling. I turned to look up at Edward, smiling. He seemed completely relaxed and his hand grabbed my hand rubbing circles on the back of it with his thumb as he looked at the woman. "Sorry for the disruption ma'am." He replied as he pulled us towards the door. She waved her hand dismissively, shaking her head murmuring something I couldn't quite catch as he moved us through the door.

**EPOV**

"So that was close, huh?" I asked, leading Bella over to out table to start eating.**  
**  
She laughed little, settling in her chair. "I don't think it was close. I think we got caught and just got caught by the _right _person."

I laughed, looking up at her. "What do you mean?"

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Edward, she heard us." She laughed lightly and cut her chicken.

"Well, techincally love, she didn't catch us. We could have been.... uh... exercising." Yeah, lame I know. But it was plausable... yeah, still no.

"Right Edward... if that makes you feel better, I'm sure she just thought the door was stuck and you were being nice enough to help me get it open." **(smirks) **

I laughed, looking back down at my food. "Well, fine. Party pooper." I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at her by changing the subject. "Love, how long are you here for?"

"I'm not sure. They want me definitely through the end of next week. After that if it's up to me if I want to stay until the project is completed and has launched, or if I want to go back home and come back if it's necessary before it's rolled out. Why?"

Because I can't fucking breathe without you. "Just wondering."

She picked at her food, staring down at her plate. "How... how long were you thinking of staying?"

I averted her gaze, pushing food around on my plate. "How long did you need me?"

"Considering the circumstances, is it inappropriate if I say forever?" Her lower lip was sucked into her mouth as she snuck glance up at me, then quickly looked away.

"No... no. That's never inappropriate."

She laughed dryly. "Well then... yeah. Forever." She said with a sigh, taking a bite from her plate.

I looked up at her, dropping my fork. "Do you want to do it?"

Her head shot up as my fork dropped and she looked at me, confused. "Do what?"

"Stay here."

Her lip was back in her mouth as she thought, "Yes." Bella thought for a moment. "But what about your job Edward? You said in the meeting the other night that you mostly worked with local businesses in the Seattle/Vancouver area. I don't want you to have to sacrifice what you love doing there, just to be here and do this."

I looked down at my plate, thinking. She was right, of course but... but... "Bella, I'm a photographer. I'll get new clients here, and it'll be fine. I can work where ever I want to, love."

"Really, Edward?" She asked, her entire face lighting up. "I must have totally wowed you for you to be moving cross country with me not even halfway through our first date."

I laughed and shook my head, "You dazzle me, Bella. Every fucking day."

She blushed and looked down, shuffling the items on her plate around, as she murmured. "I make a joke, and you make me swoon."

"That's my job." I said, smirking.

"Oh, so it's your profession? Don Juan then? Do you have many clients?" She said, smirking and tilting her head to the side.

"Just one. She keeps me... occupied."

"Occupied? That's all? She sounds like a bore."

I laughed, raising an eyebrow. "I don't have time to be bored when I'm with her. She's always up to something."

She grinned at me, then turned to the waiter, who was lurking in the not so distance.

"Can I help you?" I asked the guy, who was smiling down between Bella and I.

"That's my job!" He laughed, putting one hand on the table and turning toward Bella, "Seriously, is there anything else that you need? Like... _anything?"_

"And you're done." I interrupted. Bella and the waiter's eyes snapped to me, and I was shooting daggers. "Thank you. We'll take the check."

He looked between Bella and I, trying to get an in. "But I--"

I held up a hand. "No, no. We're done. Check, please."

He shook his head, but walked away as I smirked after him.

"Edward?" She admonished with a smirk, "You barely touched your food, and we still have dessert to get through, according to the prearranged menu."

"Uh, unless you're opposed, I thought I was having dessert at that table over there."

"You sure you'll be ready to go that soon? I remember being promised the table _and _elevator."

"There's time. Besides, we can stay here as long as we want. There's no limit."

Bella laughed a little. "You don't think we should leave after we christen their antique furniture?"

"Either way." I said, glancing up at her through my eyelashes.

She sat back as the waiter cleared our plates, thinking for a moment. "Adventure vacation to South America or romantic getaway to somewhere in Europe?"

"Depends on how many shots I'd need."

She rolled her eyes at me and laughed, "Top 3 guilty pleasures?"

"Grey's Anatomy, Peanut Butter M&M's, and Ice Capades. You?"

She was giggling like a three year old. "Ice Capades?"

"No judging. Rose used to skate and she made me watch with her. That shit can be pretty. Yours?''

She took a deep breath, and cut down her laughter. "80s movies, eating fried rice out of the carton, and um... fantasizing about you at work."

"I'm a guilty pleasure?" I asked.

"No, but fantasizing about you while I'm at work is."

"I don't get it."

She blushed. So cute. "What's there to get? When you're not in me, I'm thinking about you being in me... even when I'm sitting in budget review meetings. My body craves you."

I looked up at her, "You do?"

She nodded, biting her lower lip, "Yeah."

I laughed again, "Yeah... I still don't get it."

She laughed a bit and smiled, "What don't you get? I love being with you, and feeling you inside me, and waking up to you in the morning. At least one of those things, usually more than one actually... I think about while at work. Daily."

I shook my head, "But I'm... I'm nothing special, Bella. Really. I'm not that exciting or good... at anything." I laughed softly to myself. "Sexual or otherwise."

"You're kidding right? I saw you at work, you're an incredibly talented photographer. You're funny and compassionate and smart. And probably the most genuinely nice guy I've ever met." **(sighs)** "and sexually... you're just beyond amazing. You literally make my body feel alive when you touch me. I've never had a reaction to skin-on-skin the way I do with you. It's like you know just how to touch me to make me beg for and need more."

Funny, she had us confused. "Bella, I... Perhaps you've hit your head. You aren't thinking clearly." I said, smiling at her.

"Oh, and why's that?"

"Because... Because that's... that's how I feel about you. You're so smart, Bella, and caring. I just... I can't get enough of you." I laughed and fidgeted with my napkin. "I don't think I want to, either."

"I hope you always feel that way, Edward."

I couldn't imagine not feeling that way; not anymore. "Bella, you're the best."

She laughed, "I full expect a candy gram that says that now, for valentine's day next year; I hope you know that."

"You want it to say 'Bella you're the best'? That's it? Nothing more... romantic?"

"If it's from you then what's more romantic than that?"

I love you? "I dunno. It's your gift, love."

"Well all I want for valentine's day next year and every year after that is you, so anything extra - candygram or otherwise is just a bonus."

I smiled softly at her from across the table. "Then what makes it different than any other day?"

Her voice dropped to a whisper, and I barely heard her speak. "I guess it just depends what percentage of you is mine, I suppose."

My heart twisted up inside my chest as I watched the pain in her face. "But... if we're staying..."

"If we're staying, that doesn't mean I have all of you; just a big enough part for you to be okay with a change of scenery."

She wasn't getting it. She so obviously wasn't getting it. "Bella, if we're here and I'm with you, then I'm _with you._ You have all of me. Always."

"I know it's selfish to want Edward, to say that I want all of you. But I hope that what you said is true, even if it's not now... someday." She whispered, smiling sadly.

I sighed and kicked her leg softly under the table. "What makes you happy?"

"In no particular order?" She looked up in thought, "daisies, coffee and you... you?"

I had to laugh. That was not what I was expecting. "Daisies?"

"Mhm. They're a happy flower."

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, then."

I had her smiling again, "What? They are! You can't help but think of sunny skies and grassy fields when you see them. They just cheer me up like, without even being anything more than what they are. I dunno, it's stupid I guess..." Her eyes cast down to her lap, "What about you?"

"You," I muttered, mostly to myself.

"What?"

I shook my head and looked up at her. "It... It doesn't matter. What's important is that you're happy. Are you happy?"

"Edward, I want to know. What makes _you _happy?"

"You." I repeated softly, running my hand through my hair and avoiding her gaze.

"Edward..." She called quietly.

"What?" I whispered.

"If Chanel doesn't offer me the job... if it would be easier, I'd quit it all and move here if you'd want us to start over here. I'd go anywhere to be with you - to _really _be with you."

I looked quickly to the side then back at Bella. "I thought we were already doing that."

"Oh, I thought it was dependent on the Chanel job."

I looked down at my hands folded in my lap, "Okay."

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant, I thought it was solely dependent on Chanel, but if... if you're willing to move regardless, why the hell would I say no to that? Edward you're all I want. Whether that's in New York, Seattle... the fucking amazon forest. I want you wherever I can have you forever."

I looked up at her, trying to hide the hope from my eyes. I could finally see myself doing this. I could see myself leaving Tanya and starting over with Bella. Maybe we could do this; maybe we could be together. "Do you want to? Honestly, tell me because if you say the word I'll make it happen. I don't care what it takes, Bella. If it gets me a lifetime of this, then it's worth it."

She nodded, beaming at me from across the table. "Honestly Edward, I want this... you... us, more than anything."

I took a deep breath and nodded my head decisively. "Then let's do it."

She pushed out here chair quickly and threw herself in my lap. "I don't care if they kick us out for this.." She whispered before crashing her lips to mine, and wrapping her arms around my neck. You would have thought I proposed.

I held her as tightly to my chest as I could when she finally pulled away, resting her forehead to mine. "This is it, then." I said with a smile.

She nodded against my forehead, and I could see her smiling. "This is it."

"So what do we do now?"

"Right now? Well, I believe someone still has 3 places to have their way with me before we get back to the hotel, and other than that... just work on falling in love with me." She said with a wink.

I lent my head to her shoulder and kissed her soft, cool skin. "I can do that."

She sighed contentedly and kissed my temple. "Good, and as for what comes after that... that's entirely up to you. I want to go at your pace, what you need and want... I'll follow your cues."

I shook my head into her skin. "No, baby, we have to do this together. It has to be the both of us. We're together. We're doing this together."

She nodded, "Okay."

I kissed her shoulder again. "Okay."

**BPOV**

While Edward went to pay for dinner, I walked over to the friendly host that had helped us out when we arrived. She was a petite blonde girl with a wide smile and sparkling blue eyes. She almost looked like Tanya, only with a fuller face and body. "Excuse me?" I asked sweetly as I rounded the corner to face her.

"Hi there!" She said cheerfully. I smiled and bit my lip.

"Hi... I just have a tiny little question for you. "Oh sure, how can I help you?" She asked, cocking her head to the side, smiling.

"Right, well, see that guy over there?" I asked pointing to where Edward was speaking with our waiter from earlier. She nodded. "Isn't he hot?" I asked, almost breathlessly. I really could not get enough of him, of looking at him being around him... anything involving him and I together really.

She looked over at me warily, as if she thought I was about to pull a prank on her. "Well.. yeah. I suppose."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, he's goregous right? Like so sexy it hurts?" I egged on. She laughed and nodded, unable to tear her eyes from his direction. "Yeah he's definitely hotter than any guy I've seen in a while around here."

I smirked. "Yeah... so. He and I have been wanting to hook up for ages, and tonight was our first official date." She turned to face me, her eyebrows softening her entire expression. "Aww, that's so sweet!" She cooed. I smiled and nodded, it really was, if only she knew.. "Yeah, but see the thing is... I really want to have sex with him. And he seems more than willing... lucky me right?" She laughed and nodded in agreement. "But here's the thing, I kind of wanted to take him by surprise, you know? Since he's probably been with hundreds of girls since he's so hot. I want to make this more.. memorable for him." She leaned over a bit, nodding. "Right, totally... I get it."

I smiled and let out a breath before lowering my voice. "I was hoping that we could use that area around the corner by the coat check. But I know how busy this place is, so I was wondering if I could ask for your assistance in redirecting people for the next 15 minutes or so?" Her eyes went wide.

"Umm... I don't know if I can do that miss." I looked at her with wide, sad eyes. "You must know, because every girl has gone through it... getting that one shot with the guy who is here," I said moving my hand to above my head, "while you feel like you're here," I replied moving my other hand to my chin. She sighed and nodded sadly, as if it happened frequently. She looked from her left to the right and peeked around the corner towards the small space where the table was. With a heavy sigh she whispered, "okay 15 minutes but after that I can't promise anything and I know _nothing _if you get caught and my manager comes by." I nodded, smiling, as I noticed Edward making his way over to us. "Thank you," I mouthed as he approached us, wrapping his arm around me.

"You about ready to go?" He asked looking from me to the hostess. She smirked and bit her lip looking down at her reservations calendar. I nodded, "yep I just need to get my coat."

"Oh, okay..." he said sounding somewhat confused. I tried not to laugh and grabbed his hand, turning to look at the hostess. "Thank you again. It was great talking to you." She finally looked up at us again, blushing scarlet. "Yes, yes, have a great evening. Thanks for coming -- I mean, visiting. Have a great evening." She sputtered out quickly, her face growing even redder.

We turned and walked down the small hallway towards the table. I couldn't believe we were being _this _bold about it. The bathroom was one thing... but an open hallway during prime dining hours... it was hot and petrifying all at the same time. I hopped onto the table, fisting Edward's shirt and pulling him towards me. His body leaned against the table on either sides of my legs and he smashed his lips against mine tongue wrapped around his, as my hands drifted into his hair tugging on it firmly. He growled into my mouth as his hands massaged up and down the sides of my body, pulling me impossibly close to him. His hands thoughtfully slid down my dress and under it, brushing against my thighs. One hand gripped my hip under the dress while the other moved achingly slowly up my inner thigh. I hummed into his kiss, trying to get his fingers where I needed them most. I felt his fingertips hesitate a moment before he plunged two deep inside my core. I lolled my head back, murmuring obscenities under my breath. His lips moved down to my neck as he sucked on the curve. "God Bella, you're so wet. I love how wet you get for me."

"It's only you Edward. Only you can make my body do this." He groaned into my skin and he bit down, beginning to pump his fingers in and out slowly. He was trying to fucking kill me; I knew it.

"Baby please... please I need your cock inside me." I pleaded into his ear as my fingers pulled at the strands of his hair. His hand withdrew from my soaking pussy and moved to my hip pulling me off the table. "Turn around and bend over. I need to make you mine." He directed, nipping at my earlobe with his teeth. I let out a long breath and did as instructed, turning away from him and bending over. I heard his pants unzip and rustling of foil and before I knew it, I felt his cock moving up between my folds. "Fuck baby, you make me so hard." He whispered into my ear as he hovered over me. "How do you want it?"

"Pound into me Edward. Fuck me as hard as you can. Take me." I answered, turning my head to see his face. His lips attacked my own and he pushed into me roughly without warning.

"Is that how you wanted it?" He growled harshly as he plunged into me in quick deep thrusts. "Is this how my baby likes it?"

I moaned as quietly as I could as I pushed my ass towards him. "God... fuck... _yes_. Harder baby, fuck me harder." His hands moved to grip my hips harder and I felt his fingers digging into my flesh as he moved harder and faster against me. "Fuck baby... god you're even tighter from this angle. I could fuck you all day.... fuck your beautiful pussy." He hissed into the back of my neck. His lips roamed from the back of my neck down the few inches of bare skin on my back that were exposed. His lips were hot and his kisses damp against my skin as he continued to ram into me. "Baby, can you cum for me. Your pussy is working me so hard I need to cum... but I can't until you let go around me. Can you do that baby? Can you cum all over my dick?" I bit my lip hard and hummed a confirmation as I pushed myself harder onto him. "FUCK BELLA... SHIT... SHIT... SHIT..." He panted into my neck. One of his hands shot down and to the front of my body, sliding under my dress. His thumb and index finger found my clit and pinched it lightly.

That was all I needed. "Edward... Edward... fuck baby.... godddddddd...Edward...." I mewled as my hips bucked hard against his hand and I felt myself tighten around him letting go completely. He moaned into my neck and bit down as he pumped into me twice more before finding his own release. I felt him press his forehead into my spine and I sighed at the additional skin-to-skin contact. He remained there a few more seconds, as we both tried to get control of our breathing. Slowly he pulled out, sliding the condom off, tying it up and putting it back in the wrapper as much as he could fit it. I turned to look at him, both of our faces flush. His lips pressed reverently to mine and he sighed leaning his forehead against mine. "I can't believe your mine."

I smiled and nodded, reaching one hand up to cup his jaw. I really wanted to say I loved him, but it hadn't even been a month; was I really in love or was it simply lust in overdrive? Until I knew for sure, I didn't want to say it... there was too much to lose if it wasn't reciprocated. So instead I settled for kissing his lips, pulling away slowly to rub my nose against his. "Come on baby, let's go home."

**EPOV**

We decided to walk around for a little while after the restaurant, partly because it was a nice night, and partly because I needed some recoup time before I took her in the cab. I looped my arm around her waist and we started down the street slowly. After a little while, I felt her turned her face and press a kiss into the side of my neck. I smiled down at her, "What was that for?"

She shrugged and put her head back on my shoulder. "Being Edward."

I rolled my eyes and tightened my grip on her side. "Oh, okay. Since your logic is so sound."

"Hey, it's not my fault you're wonderful. In fact, I blame your mother."

"My mother, huh?"

She nodded, and turned into me a little. "Yeah, I mean she raised you so it's her fault you turned out the way you did."

I sighed. Bella was right, of course. My mother had raised me, but this-- what I was doing here and now wasn't something that I thought my mother would ever approve of. But Bella... Bella wasn't someone that I could give up, no matter what the circumstance. I needed her; to me she was completely vital. She was also poking my side. "You okay?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed the top of her head lightly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just wondering how I got so lucky. I mean, I do get to fuck you whenever I want."

"Oh, you think so?" She asked, burrowing her head into the crook of my neck.

"Uh huh."

"Hmm. Betcha can't make me cum in there." I followed her finger to the tiny movie theater across the street. I smirked down at her. "Betcha I can."

She laughed as I dragged her (with purpose) across the street and bought two tickets for whatever movie Bella wanted to see. We were walking through the crowd in the lobby when I felt her tug on my arm. I turned back quickly, thinking something was wrong and she was looking at the ground, her lip sucked into her mouth. I reached up to cup her cheek with my free hand, and pulsed the one still wrapped around hers. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, still not looking up at me. "Nothing. I know you were only going to screw me in there, but do you think we could stay? I kinda wanted to see this one. Like for real."

I laughed a little and kissed her forehead. "Of course, Baby. If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do."

She smiled up at me and nodded, so I pulled her back into my side as we headed toward the theater. Nothing was more apparent to me than the fact that I wanted Bella for as long as I could possibly have her. I needed her, she was keeping me sane. That, coupled with the fact that I genuinely liked her, seemed to make the guilt for not telling her the truth grow exponentially. But I couldn't risk losing her. Not now, when I couldn't even go an hour without having an anxiety attack because she's not near me. No, I couldn't tell her. She was too important to me.

I let her lead me into the theater, where we plopped down in one of the side aisles. I pulled up the arm rest between us and tucked her under my arm, not particularly wanting to be apart from her for any extended period of time. "You're awfully touchy tonight." She whispered, running her hand up and down my thigh lightly.

I leaned in and kissed the side of her head. "I missed you. I had four whole days without you, Bella. I have to make up for that."

I felt her sigh, and then throw her legs over mine. "I missed you, too. It was so hard when I didn't have anything to do. Edward, it was like I was caving in on myself."

I tucked one hand under her ass and pulled her up onto my lap, then held her close. "I know, Baby, I know. We can't do that again, though right? We won't ever do that again?"

She lifted her head and kissed me lightly. "No. Not ever."

I dropped my head to her shoulder and her hands came up to tangle in my hair, "I can't be without you, Bella."

She kissed my forehead. "Lucky you don't have to be."

I nodded and kissed her collar bone. "True."

The lights went down after that but Bella stayed in my lap because I wasn't ready to let her go. I didn't want to. I wanted as much of her with me as I could possibly get. She put her head on my shoulder, one arm wrapped around my shoulders as my hand ran up and down her back and the other rested on her knees. Slowly, I began to run my fingers up and down the smooth skin of her leg from her knee to the hem of her dress, dipping under it slightly. I felt her tense a little against my shoulder and I kissed her forehead to make her relax. "It's okay, Baby. Do you trust me?" She nodded. "Then let me make this good for you." She pushed her forehead back into the crook of my neck, and I slowly pushed my fingers up her thigh to the heat of her core. I felt her hand twist and turn in my hair, and I leaned over to kiss whatever skin I could find as I cupped her core. I felt her breath coming out in hot bursts on my neck as I traced one finger from her entrance to her clit and back again. I circled it one more time before pushing two fingers into her. She pushed her self into me in an attempt to stifle her groan and I began moving my hand faster on her back. "It's okay, Baby... it's okay. Do you want me to stop?"

"No." She breathed, "Don't ever stop."

I smiled and kissed her again before I began moving my fingers carefully in and out of her, trying not to make too much noise. Soon enough though, it was too much and I had to go faster. Bella was panting and moaning against my skin and I wanted to make her cum. I began curling them inside of her as I moved, rubbing and pressing against her walls. "Bella... Baby, I need you to cum. Baby, please, cum all over my hands... Baby, can you do that? Can you cum for me?"

I felt her start to quake and flutter against me and she moaned my name as she bit my neck. I pressed my fingers into her g spot and she came undone, squirming against my fingers and gripping my shoulders tightly. I kept my fingers inside her, waiting for her to come down from her orgasm, which she did slowly, prying her fingers from my skin but keeping her face firmly in place at my neck. I lent my head to hers, withdrawing my fingers and rubbing her back. "You okay?"

I felt her nod and I pulled her closer into me. This was where I belonged, I realized. Wrapped up in Bella for as long as I could be. I needed this... I needed her.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey kels  
Hi Bels

missed you  
aww, missed you too. It's been awhile, huh?

yeah. Kinda. I don't know what to do with myself. We have news though, huh?  
The one about how I'm preggers?

Okay, well that's news to me...

Oh, you must mean the OTHER news then. About the Tattward/Inkella contest we entered!

Oh, yeah, that :P  
Yeah so go check it out! The title is: Where The Wild Things Are and both 'Lala and I have it posted.

Yup yup. Then vote for us? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?  
Tots, so back to this lovely awesome best thing ever story. It's totally worth the wait, right?

i think so. I like this one. Kind of a lot. And I like writing with you. It's seven million different kinds of fun :)  
So who cares if we don't own the characters and some chick in Utah named Steph Meyers does, right? Cuz it's fun breaking out of the fade to black sometimes... or in this story's case ALL the time ;)

hehe... SMUT FIC! it's just nice to like not break up the story with a random blackness. And then turn the light on, only to find that there are no pillows. And you forgot probably the single greatest experence of your life time...  
... the answer being the first rewrite of the honeymoon I ever read?

Yup :)  
So peeps, here's the deal: why lie, we love reviews! So leave 'em :)

* * *

**BPOV**

We finished watching the movie, but I wasn't able to follow it since we had missed the first twenty minutes which apparently had been crucial to understanding the reasoning behind the plot twists. As the lights turned on, I moved to stand. Edward stood up right after me and I reached behind me to grab his hand as we walked single file out of the aisle and down to the exit doors. We hung back against the wall of the theater as people filtered out and got into cabs. My arms were wrapped around his waist as he leaned against the wall, his arms wrapped around me identically. His head rested on my head and I breathed him in. "Chinese food or Japanese?" He asked out of nowhere.

"Um, Japanese." I murmured into his chest. "Books or movies?" I asked sighing into him.

"Oo. Depends on the book or movie in question. love or marriage?"

"Both someday, I hope." I answered honestly. My body froze as I realized what I was eluding to. "I, I mean in gen--"

He chuckled against me, his laughter vibrating against my body. "I gotcha. You should have that, Bella. You deserve it." He murmured placing a kiss into my hair.

"How did you propose to Tanya?"

His body went rigid and I felt him tilt his head back away from mine. "W-What?"

I laughed a little looking up at up. "Edward I didn't ask you to explain jet propulsion fusion to me... how did you propose to Tanya?"

"I... uh... well, I bought a ring and we went to dinner at her favorite restaurant, and I proposed to her. But she didn't like the ring, so we took it back and she picked out her own. But then I had to do the proposing all over again. And the second time was in bed. After two bottles of wine."

That didn't sound like Edward at all. "You proposed to her drunk?"

He leaned his head back against the wall, laughing and looking to the side as if reminiscing. "Well, the second time, yeah. Drunk and angry."

"Why did you even bother then? It doesn't sound like you wanted to do it."

He shrugged, his eyes not meeting my own. "I'd been with her for five years at the time. My sister was the one who really talked me into it. Rose... Rose likes Tanya. A lot. And frankly? At the time, there wasn't anything better coming my way. I figured that she was what I was supposed to have in life. And I suppose, at the time I still kind of loved her."

I laughed sadly and leaned back against him, nodding. I knew all too well what it felt like to think you should stay with someone because you didn't think anyone better would come around. "And since then?"

His armed pulsed around my waist and he rested his chin back on my head. "Now I have you. And you're... Bella, I never imagined that I would ever get to be with someone as wonderful as you. Not in a million years."

"Edward, I'm still not sure that you haven't been seeing me with rose colored glasses. There is nothing wonderful about me. I'm average; everything from my hair and eye color to my height and mannerisms... all average."

"Average to you, amazing to me."

I laughed and shook my head pulling away to look at him. "You're nuts if you think I'm anything but typical. I hope you know that."

"Well, you're typically awesome. I know that."

I laughed harder and rolled my eyes. "Dork. Come on lets go find dessert to bring back to the hotel room. I'm craving something sweet, not cheesy." I smirked unlacing his arms from me and grabbing his hand. He entwined my fingers around his and let me pull him up off the wall. He chuckled, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek as we took off from the theater in search of sweets. We passed by a bakery that had a flashing sign that said "cheesecake" in the window. He looked at me nodding to it and I scrunched my nose shaking my head.

After roaming around for what felt like an hour, we finally settled on donuts from a 24 hour donut/coffee shop. "Favorite kind of donut?" I asked as we looked through the cases of tastiness.

"Boston Creme. You?"

"old fashioned - glazed." He nodded and ordered one of each, as well as 2 cups of coffee. We walked over to the coffee station. I noticed him watching me out of the corner of my eye. "What?"

"Nothing, I'm just memorizing how you take your coffee." I looked up at him and smiled. "Ton of milk, no sugar. You?"

"Ton of sugar, no milk."

"Lactose intolerant?" I asked. Hey, it's a legit question.

He laughed shaking his head as he stirred the sugar into his coffee. "No, obviously not if I'm eating a creme filled donut." I blushed at my oversight and he kissed my cheek before taking my coffee off the counter and nudging his head to the door. "Come on love, let's go home."

I sighed and nodded, taking the bag of donuts from his full hands as we walked out of the shop and down the street. We ate our donuts and sipped our coffee as we lazily made our way through the streets of Manhattan, getting slightly turned around a few times as we tried to find our hotel. We talked about the most random things; favorite childhood snacks, political views, the death of billboard advertising. It was all very random, but great at the same time. The more I learned about Edward the more I wanted to know. I just couldn't get enough of him; he was like a drug to me.

We had long since disposed of our empty coffee cups and paper bag of pastries once we rounded the corner and spotted it in the middle of the block. We laughed and both exhaled with relief as we approached the doors. "Only took half our evening to find this place again." He joked as he opened the door and gestured for me to enter. I smiled and nodded in thanks, as I stepped through reaching back for his hand. He took it quickly, his other arm wrapping around my waist as he stopped us and sprinkled kisses along my neck and shoulder, in the middle of the lobby. I giggled at his light touch and moved to walk towards the elevators. He whined behind me, "I wasn't done." My head spun to the side and I grinned. "I didn't think either of us were. I just wanted to get us to the elevators. If I remember correctly this was the spot you mentioned wanting to fuck me in as well?" I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped and nodded. Behind him someone cleared their throat, and I peer around him to see an older couple in their late 40s. Rather than blush at what they'd undoubtedly overheard, my confidence came through and I smiled towards them. "Sorry about that. Though I think we will wait for the next elevator. You go on ahead and take the next one." The woman scowled and I wasn't sure if it was because of my brazen attitude or because she was jealous that she had to fuck the man next to her rather than my Edward. The gentleman next to her chuckled and shook his head. "No, you two go right ahead. We have no plans for the elevator ourselves."

I saw Edward's body shake as he tried to contain his laughter. He still hadn't turned to face them, but the expression on the woman's face when the elevator doors dinged and he did face them was priceless. It was a mixture of shock and jealousy. _That's right he and I are about to desecrate this elevator right now. _I thought to myself, as I smiled sweetly at them both as we stepped inside.

**EPOV**

I let the elevator go up five floors before I pressed the stop button. I turned to Bella, "Condom?"

She grinned at me devilishly and held up the packet. Then I attacked her. My lips found hers first and I pressed her up against the wall of the elevator. She moaned against my mouth, and I started running my hands up and down the sides of her dress. "Baby," I moaned into her skin, moving my lips across her jaw and neck. "I love you in this color, but really... right now... it serves no purpose." I felt her breath coming out in short pants and I ripped the dress from her body, leaving her completely naked and at my mercy. "Baby, I don't think you should ever wear underwear again." She nodded vigorously and smashed my lips to hers again, letting one hand come up to cup her breast, rolling the nipple in between my fingers. "Shit, fuck... Edward..."

"What, baby... tell me what you want."

Bella moaned again and thrust her fingers into my hair. "Fuck me Edward... I want your cock... now."

I smirked into her skin and pulled away, pulling down my pants and boxers just enough to free my raging hard on. I leaned my head against her shoulder. "Fuck, Baby... you make me so fucking hard."

I felt her hand come down and fist around my shaft and I moaned into her skin. "I love how hard you get for me... I want you in me though; filling me up and making me cum. Please, Edward... make me yours."

I grabbed the condom from her hand and ripped it open then rolled it on. I hitched her leg up over my hip and positioned myself at her entrance. "Bella... Baby... "

"Do it, Edward." She said, smashing her face to mine and forcing me into her. I moaned as I filled her, and she pulled me as tightly to her as she possibly could. We were both panting against each other and at first, I couldn't bring myself to move. It was like I needed to be in her... to be with her. But then she wiggled her fucking hips, and I had to move. I just fucking... had to. I started slowly at first, listening to her moans and squeaks as I moved in and out of her, keeping my head on her shoulder. I wanted her to remember that this wasn't about just having hot monkey sex in an elevator; this was about me loving her more than I could possibly stand.

I gasped slightly when I realized what I had just thought. Love. Love and Bella together in the same sentence? No. No. No fucking way. It wasn't... I couldn't... shit.

I did.

I started pounding into her, hard and fast, trying to literally pound the love out of me. But it back fired, it was as though with every thrust and every moan, I fell a little bit more. I wanted to take care of her, I wanted to be with her, and hold her when she was happy or when she cried. I wanted to be there to love her. I wanted everything you're supposed to have... with Bella.

"Shit... shit... Edward... I'm gonna... I'm gonna... FUCK!" She came all over my cock, and I thrust into her twice more before I blew my load into the condom. I eased myself in and out of her slowly before finally pulling out, resting my forehead against hers with my eyes closed. I kissed her softly, touching my fingertips to her cheek.

"You okay, baby?"

I felt her nod against me, setting her leg down gently but keeping her arms tight around me. "Yeah... yeah. I'm fine."

I let my hands slip down her sides and I gently massaged her muscles before I pulled away and took off the condom and cleaning up. I looked back at Bella, who was still naked.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

She was biting her lip and turning the sweetest shade of pink. "My... my dress... it's ripped, and--"

"Shit, baby, I'm sorry." I said, going back over to her and wrapping my body around her. I pulled away after a second, unbuttoning my shirt. "Here, take this."

She took it from me, puzzled. "You're going to go out there shirtless?"

I raised an eyebrow, "You'd rather go out there naked?"

She shrugged into my shirt and began buttoning it. "Point taken."

I pressed the stop button again and pulled Bella into my side.

"Are you okay?"

I laughed into her hair. "Yeah, are you?"

She nodded against my chest. "Mhm. You just... I dunno. Seemed a little distracted at the end. Just want to make sure it was good for you; I mean it was a weird angle.. and I--"

"No no no. Nothing like that, Baby. It was great... you... you were great." I kissed the top of her head again, trying to push the butterflies out of my stomach. But it was like every beat of my heart kept reminding me. _I love her... I love her... I love her..._

But I couldn't. There wasn't any possible way I could let this happen. Bella and I couldn't be in love. Could we?  
She looked up at me furrowing her brow and looking concerned. "You sure? Then what is it?"

I ran my hand up and down her side as the elevator lurched to a stop. "Nothing, Baby. I can't believe that I get to have you whenever I want."

She stood up on her toes and kissed my neck, then nuzzled the spot with her nose. "Mhm. Whenever you want, for however long you want."

I wrapped my arms around her and we awkwardly walked down the hallway to our room. She let us in, and I watched her as she flicked on the lights and closed the curtains. I did. I loved her. I wanted this to be our apartment and our space where she and I could be together, fully and completely. I physically ached with my desire to be with her; to be a part of her. I needed her. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her from behind, kissing her neck. "I'm so lucky that I'm with you."

Bella leaned her head against me, sliding her arms over mine, rubbing them slowly. "I'm pretty sure I'm the luckier of the two of us. Not only are you here with me, but you came back for me... twice now."

I nuzzled her neck, "No, only once. And... I can't be without you, Bella. I thought you knew?"

She turned around in my arms and looped her arms around my neck, "I can't either Edward. Not again, not ever. I... I care for you too much now."

I moved to put my head back on her shoulder, kissing the side of her neck. "We won't Bella. We won't. I... I need you. I know it's not fair, and I know I have no right to ask you to stay with me, but I have to. Bella... I can't without you. I just fucking... can't."

**BPOV**

He just sounded so sad. I gripped him tighter, pulling our bodies closer to together. He let out a long breath over my shoulder and squeezed my waist. We stayed like that for a few minutes, just hugging each other. I loved him. I could never leave him. It was killing me not being able to say it. But it had been what, a month? There was no logical justification that this would really be love after just a month, was there? I took a deep breath trying to shaking the intense feelings away. My body tore from his and I looked up at him. "Come on baby, let's go to bed." He nodded, kissing my forehead and following me into the bedroom. He moved to his side of the bed, turning down the covers as I unbuttoned the shirt he'd give me to wear and went to hang it up the the closet, not bothering to change into actual pjs. By the time I got back he was already under the covers, lying on his back. I crawled in beside him and curled up against his body.

"Baby?" I whispered as I pressed my cheek into his chest. "Hm?" He he hummed as one arm wound around me pulling me even closer and his other began to trace faint lines up and down my spine. "Baby, never think you have no right to ask me to stay. If anything, you never need to. I'm not going to leave you Edward. This is it, you and I." _I love you, I love you, I love you_. I wanted add, but I bit my lip, rubbing my cheek against his bare skin.

His nose nuzzled against the top of my head as he pressed a soft kiss into my hair. "Promise?"

I lifted my head looking directly at him. "I do."

**EPOV**

She does...

Fuck.

But not so fuck at the same time. Isn't this what I wanted? Someone to just... be with me? No questions asked, nothing asked of me. Just... to be together.

Yes.

I wanted Bella... and I wanted to be loved by her.

I squeezed her tighter to my chest and tangled our legs. "Bella, that's it then. I won't let you go. I can't do it. Not unless I thought it's what you really wanted."

**BPOV**

My lips brushed against his as I shook my head, running my foot up and down his calf. "What I really want is you."

He murmured against my lips quietly, "You have me."

I smiled and cupped his jaw with one hand as I slid over him, kissing his lips softly. His mouth moved against mine fluidly as his hands slid down and brushed along my sides. He rolled us onto our sides as one hand slid up to the back of my neck, pushing my face against his harder. I moaned and felt his tongue slip into my mouth massaging my own. We made out like a couple of horny teenagers for what seemed like hours, our hands never slipping below each others hips, our mouths not delving below the collar bone. We just inhaled and soaked up each others taste and touch. He slowly pulled away as we both panted and gasped for air, our chests heaving dramatically. His lips gently brushed over my cheeks and the bridge of my nose before placing a firm open mouth kiss on my forehead. I sighed contently and snuggled up to him, pressing my face into the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. His arms pulled me tighter and I felt his face rest against my head.

"Good night love." He whispered, peppering kisses into my hair.

"Mmm... goodnight baby." I replied, sliding my arms up and weaving my fingers through his hair playing with his strands idly.

This was heaven. If I could fall asleep with him like this for the rest of my life, I would be nothing shy of blissfully happy.

The following morning after three rounds of middle-of-the-night sex, I woke up achy and sore, much like the first night we spent together. His arms were wound tightly against me and his face was buried in the flat of my stomach just below my breasts. His knee was bent and both of my legs wrapped around it. As I woke up, seeing the brightness of the sun trying to poke through the thick curtains I smiled and ran my fingers lazily through his hair. I loved waking up to him, with him, near him. Anything involving him being in the same bed as me when I woke up was an excellent start to the day. I scratched his head lightly and he groaned nuzzling his face into my stomach. I laughed a little, my body shaking with reverberations. He rubbed his face against my stomach again placing a few soft kisses just above my belly button. "What time is it?" He murmured with a voice full of sleep. "Umm..." I lurched forward a bit sitting up to see the clock. "A little after 8."

"Do you remember what time we finished the last round?" He asked, as he pressed open mouth kisses on my stomach. "Uhh..." I leaned back, reveling in the feel of his mouth. Fuck, was this feeling _ever _going to die down? "I think around 6?"

"Good. Two hours is more than enough recovery time." I chuckled against him. "Aren't you a little sore... or tired... or sick of me?"

He peered up at me, eyes half opened and a lazy grin spread across his lips."No. How could I be? Are you sore, tired or sick of me?"

"No, well a little sore... but not tired or sick of you. Never sick of you." I murmured as he crawled over me. "Good." He whispered as his lips grazed against mine teasingly before swiping back over them and sucking my bottom lip in. He released my lip slowly, resting his forehead against mine. "Well I guess if you're sore, I'll just have to make you feel better..." He said trailing off as he peppered kisses down my chest and past where his lips had been on my stomach moments ago. "Fuck..." I breathed as I felt his mouth suck lightly on the skin on top of my mound. I felt one of his fingers gently part my lips and slide from my entrance up to my clit and back down. "Is this okay baby?" He asked as his lips continued their descent. I pushed down on his touch and he chuckled against my clit. "I'll take that as a yes." He commented as his lips pulled my swollen nub into his mouth and two of his fingers slid slowly inside my aching core. "Edward..." I moaned as I arched my back. How was it that I could go months without fucking James, and thought nothing of going through 11 of 12 condoms with Edward in the span of not even 24 hours? Any thoughts of James vanished as I felt his teeth scrape against my clit. "Baby, I want to taste you. I want to feel you cum and lick you clean. Can you do that?" He growled as his tongue slid down my slit, licking at the wetness that poured from me. "Ungh... Edward..." panted as his fingers picked up speed and began curving just so they hit my sweet spot on every inward thrust. "EDWARD SHIT!" I screamed as he took my clit in once more, nibbling lightly on it. "FUCK... OH GOD!" I moaned fisting his hair in my hands and pushing his face harder against my button of nerves. His fingers continued pumping hard and fast. "God, Edward.. FUCK GET INSIDE ME!" I groaned arching my back up.

Apparently he didn't need to be asked twice and his head shot up quickly as he reached for the last condom in the box, rolling it on and thrusting into me hard. "OH FUCK!" He groaned as he settled inside me, his body hovering over mine. "I'm so sorry baby... I just.. shit, when you say things like that it just..." He apologized, panting slightly as he looked down at me. Yeah it fucking hurt, and I'd be paying for it later, but there was _nothing _like feeling Edward inside me. My hand reached up and wrapped around the back of his neck pushing his face down so that my lips could move against his. I arched my hips up, grinding against his and encouraging him to move. He pulled his lips away and rested his forehead against mine as he began moving in and out. His movements were slow but deep and I could tell he was holding back, trying not to hurt me. "Edward," I breathed, staring up into his amazing green eyes. "Faster please, I want you to cum. Please baby."

"You sure? I don't... I want you to be okay."

I smiled at his concern for me. "Baby, you're inside me; I'm more than okay." I whispered pressing my lips against his softly. He smiled and let out a sigh as he began moving faster. I moved one of my hands between us and began rubbing my clit trying to get me over the edge with him. "Baby I can feel you..." He grunted as his cheeks flushed pink and I could feel a layer of sweat forming as his forehead pressed against mine. "You're close." He finished as his face dropped and he nuzzled my neck. I bent my knees up, pulling them higher and closer to his waist, feeling him go even deeper. "God baby, you feel amazing... every time." He moaned into my shoulder. "Cum baby," I whispered. "I want to feel you cum." He groaned as one of his hands shot up to my hip, holding it up as he pounded into me.

I didn't think he could hit my g-spot in missionary but apparently not only was it possible, but it was possible to hit it repeatedly over... and over. "FUCK EDWARD!" I moaned loudly, as my other hand slid down his back to his ass pushing him even harder. "Baby... baby... I'm so close.. I'm going to cum for you.." I panted into his ear as I sucked lightly on his neck. He growled into my neck and bit down. I bucked my hips even harder against his as my wall clenched and my eyes saw stars from the intensity of the orgasm. He continued pounding into me over and over again. Still hitting my sweet spot and it wasn't long after my orgasm began simmering that I felt the build up again. "Edward shiiiit... I'm going to.."

"Baby can you cum again for me? Please baby. Fucking milk my cock again. Your pussy feels so good when you squeeze my shaft." He picked up the pace even more and he drilled into me, his dick hitting my g-spot repeatedly and before I had completely settled from the first orgasm, my body went over the edge again. "EDWARD, UNGH!! FUCCCCCK!" I mewed into his ear biting down on his neck as I rode out the second wave that seemed to roll on for ages. He pounded into me twice more before stilling and letting go into the condom. He moved in and out slowly as his orgasm settled and he sucked on my neck, breathing heavily through his nose. He laid there on top of me for a few moments, trying to steady his breath. "You... fuck Bella.. you're perfect." He murmured against my skin, kissing down my neck shoulder and along my collar bone. I hummed contently, "you're pretty wonderful yourself." I felt him smile against my chest as his lips darted to my clavicle kissing it softly before rolling off me.

I turned on my side to face him and he did the same, facing me. "So another box? We're going to put a child of a Trojan employee through college by the time we finally stop needing them."

Crap. No, I didn't mean... shit. Brilliant Bella, he gives you multiple orgasms and you bring up children. Genius at work, really. "I-I mean, until I get on... on the pill." I stuttered out hopelessly. Ugh. He smiled and nodded against the pillow. "Either way."

Wait what? What does _that_ mean? Is he? Does he? No.... I scoffed in my head.

He couldn't, mean what I thought he did right? He wasn't... he didn't... we weren't...

Were we in love?

**EPOV**

As I looked at her, after her until we stopped needing them comment, she looked like her brain was combusting. The skin on her forehead was creased and folded over itself, and I reached up to smooth it out.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Bella looked like she was debating in her head, and spoke hesitantly. "What... what did you mean by 'either way'?"

I was really, really hoping she wasn't going to say that. But she did... and now I had to deal with it. I leaned in and nuzzled her face with mine. "Baby, if we do this... we're together, right? So then, if we... and it gets to that point then... yeah."

"If we what? And what point? And yeah what?" She asked, looking so confused. Wasn't it obvious?

I sighed again and buried my face in her shoulder. "Bella if we... you know... if we're... if you're mine. If you're really mine."

She kept pushing, "I am... so if... then...?"

"Then we won't need anything because it won't matter."

"I'm really yours now Edward. So what are you saying?" She pulled away and looked at me, still not getting it.

I snapped my eyes shut and took a deep breath before I whispered. "If we wanted a baby, Bella. If we got to that point where having a rubber didn't make a damn difference because we wanted a bit of the two of us... together. For always." I loosened my grip on her, preparing myself for her to pull away and yell at me. I'd stepped over the line, and I knew it. But I couldn't take it back. And oddly enough I didn't want to.

She smiled in understanding and snuggled back into me, wrapping her arms tightly around me. "That sounds like a nice idea... eventually."

I sat back and looked at her, "What do you mean?"

"Um.." She blushed considerably. "Just that... um... I like the idea that we'll be together for that... phase. The idea that we'll reach that point together."

My brow furrowed as I watched her react to me. "You do?"

She nodded and bit her lip, "Yea... I'm just sorry that I said it out loud. Because god, you look like your about to have a heart attack. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her forehead. "Don't ever apologize for telling me something like that. Bella, I want that shit with you... all of it. I just... I just have no idea how to go about it. So if anyone should be sorry it's me."

She laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm pretty sure we know how to make a baby Edward."

I dropped her face and moved back to the comfort of her shoulder. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then? What else do you want with me?"

Love. Marriage. Sex. Babies. A house in the suburbs. "Everything."

"Everything is a lot. Can you be a bit more specific?"

I shook my head against her shoulder. "No. Because that's what I want. Everything."

"So you want to marry me, have my children, cheat on me with my brother, divorce me, and then try and reunite with me decades later on a talk show?"

"Wait, what? I was with you until the cheat on you with your brother thing?"

Her breath hitched, "You were?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "What did you think I was talking about? I mean, besides the fact that it's physically impossible for me to have your children..."

She laughed nervously, "Well, who knows. By the time we're at that point, it may be scientifically possible. Didn't you ever see Junior? If the Governator of California can have a baby I'm sure you can pop one out..." She winked at me and started patting my stomach. This would be fun.

"Would you want me to?"

"I dunno... I mean if its our baby, I _guess _I wouldn't mind." She smiled warmly at me, "But you have to totally be on top of feeding my cravings, got it? If I'm going to get knocked up, I'm going to get really really fat and enjoy every minute of it."

I smiled at her and nodded, "I got it. It'll be nice to see you... like that." I couldn't believe we were talking about Bella having my child. And I couldn't believe how much I wanted that.

She laughed and rolled her eyes, "Right Edward. You can't _wait _to see me barefoot and pregnant and moody and as big as a basketball court. I'm sure."

My hand dropped automatically to her stomach and I watched my fingers splayed over her now flat skin, trying to picture her with a bump. "I want that." I whispered, not taking my eyes off of her stomach and my hand. "I want that with you."

Her hand came over mine over her stomach, "Me too Edward. I want that with you too."

I laced my fingers with hers and looked up at her slowly. "You do?"

She smiled at me, "Of course Edward. I love you, why wouldn't I?" She stiffened immediately and looked down.

My heart literally fucking stopped when I heard the words come out of her mouth. I curled my fingers under her chin and lifted her face so that she would look at me. "What did you say?"

"I love you Edward." She breathed.

I smiled and pulled her into me, so that her forehead was against mine. "I love you, too Bella. My Bella."

She smiled warily, "You do?"

"I do."

She laughed softly and kissed my lips. "I do too."

I laughed back at her and nipped playfully at the tip of her nose. "You do too, what?" I wanted to hear her say it again. I never wanted her to not say it to me. I wanted to hear it in as many languages and as many times as I possibly could. It was that fucking awesome.

"I love you Edward. Only you, always you." She said with a kiss to the side of my mouth.

I kissed her back hard, holding her tight to my chest. I didn't realize how much I wanted this and wanted to hear her say it until she did. I need this and I need her. I loved her. I couldn't let her go. I pushed her naked body tighter into my chest, trying to make it easier to not tell Bella the truth. I wanted to be with her-- I needed to. She couldn't know... she couldn't find out. She'd leave me. I knew she would. She deserved better than this. She deserved better than me. I pulled away breathlessly, keeping my forehead to hers. "Baby, you remember last night in the elevator? When you asked me what was wrong?"

"Mhm." She whispered, running her hands over my sides.

"That was it. That was the moment I realized I loved you. And I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to freak you out. But I do, Bella. I love you so much."

"But you looked so sad...?"

"Cause I didn't know what to do. What if you didn't love me? What if you told me to leave? I didn't... I didn't want to risk losing you."

"Edward, I'm pretty sure I realized I was in love with you the moment I saw you at JFK. It was confirmed at dinner... so you could have said it over and over again last night and my response would have been the same each time: I love you too." She cupped my jaw with one had before she continued. "And Edward, I won't ever tell you to leave. I love you, you're mine and I'm yours. There's nothing that will change that, okay?"

I smiled softly at her and kissed her one more time. "I love you too. But you were mine even before I loved you... I think you might always have been mine. I just didn't know it."

She snuggled against me, "And how's that?"

"You're meant to be mine, love. Can't you feel it?" So what the hell was I doing with a fiancée I didn't love? Why the fuck was I hurting Bella like this? WHY!?

"I've always felt it Edward. Since that first night at the restaurant, I think. I just didn't know... I didn't know what that was."

I kissed her forehead again. "Well, at least now we do right? I love you. I love you. I love you."

She giggled and tilted her head up, nibbling on my lower lip then pulling away slowly. "I love you."

I kissed her one last time before pulling away and smiling down at her. "The library, right?"

She shook her head, "No. I changed my mind. Plus it's Sunday, and we have the Sunday rule to abide by, remember?"

I kissed her forehead. I had no fucking clue what she was talking about. "Of course, love."

She laughed, looking at me pointedly and smirking. "Oh really, then what is it?"

Shit. "Uh..." I copped out and kissed her instead. Maybe... maybe I could make her forget whatever she was talking about.

She laughed under my lips, "Close." She pulled away and started to kiss a trail down my neck. I tilted my head back at the sensation of her full lips moving over my skin. "Sunday rule: every Sunday," She bit the crook of my neck for emphasis, "to be spent in bed, under the covers, naked." I moaned and she kissed her way back to my lips. "Is that a problem, love?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Nope. No problem."

She sighed, and rolled onto her back, "Though we may have to temporarily break it to run and get a couple more boxes of condoms..."

"Fuck, I forgot about that." I snuggled closer to her, "But let's stay here for a little bit. I wanna hold you."

she turned back to me and wrapped her arms around me, "Definitely." She sighed and buried her face in my chest. "Edward?"

"What's up, baby?"

She kissed my chest, "I love you... so much."

I smiled to myself and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, Baby. I love you, too."

**BPOV**

It was kind of disgusting how happy I was. And waking up to Edward kissing along the side of my neck did nothing to lessen my mood. "Mmm.." I murmured as my body slowly woke up and my eyes fluttered open. His lips moved along my jaw and up my cheek to my my temple. "Morning love." He whispered as he nuzzled my hair with his nose. "Morning," I replied yawning lazily. He laughed and rolled onto his back, pulling me with him.

"This is a pretty nice hotel. Do you think they have a personal shopper that could run and buy condoms for us, so we wouldn't have to get dressed?" I asked as I rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him.

He leaned away from me, reaching for the phone on the nightstand. "We could call and find out..."

I laughed and nodded. "Do it!"

He glanced at me playfully, holding the receiving in his hand. "Baby, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing?"

I sat up a little, locking my elbow and tilting my head to the side as I looked down at him, smirking. His mouth gaped open a little and his hand moved to rub along the side of my body as the other held the receiver. "Well?"

He mouthed 'front desk' before his voice cracked a little and he spoke. "Yeah, hi... I'm a guest in your hotel and I was wondering if you had a... um... errand running service? What do we need? Oh, umm... condoms actually." His cheeks flashed a shade of red, slowly fading into a soft pink as he ran a hand through his hair. "Oh. Oh. right I understand. Yes. Completely. No. No. Thank you." He twisted his torso around to hang up the phone and quickly reached back for me. "He said no."

I pouted and sat up, wrapping the bed sheet around my upper body. "Guess we're leaving the fort then?"

"I guess. Unless you want it to be a celibate sunday."He said, sighing and pressing his lips to mine.

My face scrunched up and I shook my head. "That's your worst idea ever Edward." My face fell back into a normal expression as a light bulb went off and I smirked. "Unless we turned it into a game..."

His eyebrows shot up in curiosity. "What kind of game?"

"Who can hold out longer without touching the other." I said, biting my lip and grinning down at him.

"I'm gonna lose."He lamented with a laugh.

I smirked and shrugged, scooting out of bed and dropping the sheet, turning to look over my shoulder. "No game then?"

He sat up, propping his body up with his elbows and sighing. "We could play. I'm just telling you that I'll lose." There was a beat of silence before he looked up at me through his eyelashes. "Am I really that unappealing to you?"

I turned around and crawled back on the bed, my lips hovering milimeters from his, but refraining from actually touching them. "Baby," I breathed, "you are the sexiest man I've ever see in my life and I love when you pound into me. But just think of how much better I'm going to feel around you if you hold out and let some of that tension build..." I whispered against his lips.

"Okay." He agreed, falling back against the pillows and looking up at the ceiling.

I laughed and moved off the bed once again. "It's just an idea. We don't have to play it. But if we're not, then you better run to the store because I'm going to expect you pounding into me in the shower in about 10 minutes."

His breath hitched and he eyed me mischievously. "Baby, there's still one left in your bag."

"Really?" I asked furrowing my brows and trying to think back to earlier last night. There was the bathroom... the hall table... the... there was no cab! There HAD to be one in my purse! I tried to hide my excitement as I looked at him pointedly, hands on my hips. "Does that mean you don't want to play the game then?"

He smirked shaking his head. "It means I get to fuck you one more time before it starts."

I shook my head, wagging my finger at him. "Nuh-uh. Game starts effective now; only _now _you get to know that you're a few steps away from being able to fuck me instead of an entire trek to the store."

His bottom lip jutted out and he looked like a little boy who was just denied a trip inside the toy store. "Baby..."

My eyes went wide and I matched his pout, shrugging. "I'm going to go shower the smell of your sex off me. Unless you want to join and leave your mark in me again?" I knew I was asking for something that we couldn't do. But god I missed the way it felt when he exploded in me. The possessive look in his eyes, the way it felt when he filled me. God I needed to get on the pill the minute we got back to Washington. I turned on the balls of my feet and walked towards the bathroom; my hips swaying exaggeratedly as I moved.

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe that she was doing this to me. Two could play at that game. I sniffed a little and looked at her, making my eyes wide. "Baby..."

She turned, running a hand through her hair. "Hm?"

I just looked at her, trying to look as sad and cute and lovable as I could.

"Baby?" She said, her plump lips pulled into a pout.

She would not win. I sniffled again and ran my hand through my hair again, and I knew it was sticking up the way she like when she started shifting her weight on her feet.

"I love you Edward." She turned and walked into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

I dropped back down onto the bed and listened as the water turned on in the bathroom. She thought she had me. She was in there smirking because she thought I was going to go in there and plow her. A sly smile spread across my face and I knew instantly that I had a plan. I got up and dressed quickly, grabbing my wallet and cell phone before jotting Bella a quick note.

You see, I can't lose if I'm not there.

**BPOV**

I got out of the shower, thoroughly disappointed that my plan of attack hadn't worked. "Edward?" I called when I didn't see his body in the bed. I peeked around the living room but there was no sign of him. My heart started thumping wildly. Had I crossed a line? Was I not allowed to use that as a joking ploy? Fuck.

And that's when I spotted it, a tiny index card sized note scribbled on with his chicken scratch handwriting. "Out. Be back soon. - E"

Fan fucking tastic. Well, fuck that. If he decided he didn't want to be around me, two could play at that game. I threw on a pair of sweats, grabbed my cell, keycard and ipod and hustled down to the lobby. I had to get rid of this sexual enegry somehow.

Running seemed about the only option I had.

**EPOV**

Lunch, four hours and an exorbanant amount of money later, I got back to the suite pretty fucking proud of myself. I hadn't caved once. But then I saw Bella, standing in the living room, her arms folded across her chest in my boxers and tee shirt. I smiled instantly.

"Hey, Baby."

She ran to me and jumped into my arms, securing herself tightly to me. "Why the _fuck _did you agree to my dumb idea of playing that stupid game?" She asked, pushing her face into the crook of my neck.

I laughed and held her tightly to me, trying to not beat her up with the bag in my hand. "Because you seemed like you wanted to."

"Edward, when are you going to realize I make _bad_ choices when it comes to us? I'm like.. the bad suggestion giver in this relationship. You need to stop me sometimes, especially when I suggest shit like you not touching me for as long as you can."

I kissed her forehead and walked us over to the couch, setting her down then moving beside her. "Don't you want to see what I bought you?"

She eyed the bright orange box warily. "Um... yes?"

I nodded to the box. "So open it."

She opened the box and gasped, her eyes wide. "Edward... I--I... I can't accept this. It's way way way too much..." She stared up at me in disbelief.

I shook my head and leaned back on the arm of the couch. "Yes you can. It's fine. I want you to have it."

She shook her head adamantly, "No Edward, we have to take this back. It's way too much. I can't accept this."

"Baby, do you love it?"

"That doesn't matter." She looked down at the bag (which was according to Alice, something that every girl had to have) and shook her head. "Edward, it's too much."

I pouted at her. "Why?"

"Edward, it's _Hermes_. People just don't go around giving each other Hermes bags!"

I furrowed my brow and looked from the red leather bag that she was so obviously in love with back you her. "But you love it. And I'm giving it to you."

"Edward," She sighed, "I do love it. But, I can't accept it. You can understand why right?"

I shook my head. "No."

She put the box down on the ground and cuddled into my lap. "Baby. You can't go around dropping thousands on a purse for me. That's just... not okay."

Yeah, I still didn't get it. "Well, technically, I didn't do it alone. If that makes you feel better."

She crinkled her forehead and looked up at me. "What? Who went with you?"

"No one _went with me._ But, Baby this bag is a... a..."

"Birkin." She dead panned.

"Uh, yeah, and I guess there's like an--"

"Thirty-six month wait, get to the point."

I raised an eyebrow and kissed her forehead. "Just say thank you to Alice when you see her. For making the down payment."

Her eyes went wide again, and I groaned internally. Couldn't she just say thank you? "Edward! I _definitely _can't accept this. She what? Thinks that you bought it as a gift for your _assistant_?"

I avoided her gaze like the plague. "She may or may not know something about you and me that I definitely did not anticipate."

"What does she know?"

"Uh... some stuff."

"Edward..."

I played with the hem of her tee shirt. "Yeah, Baby?"

"What does she know, and _how _does she know?"

"She may or may not have guessed about the uh... nature of our relationship." That works, right?

"And you responded to her 'guessing' with what exactly?"

I looked at her, confused. "what?"

"Did you deny it?" She looked down sadly, "Because of Tanya I mean."

I laughed and cupped her face with my hands. "Baby, do you think she would have given up her bag if I had? Well wait, you only met her once. So trust me, she wouldn't have, had I not confirmed what she... uh, believed."

"Edward, this was _hers_? Why did she--"

"Because I love you. And you make me happy; happier than I've been since I met her, she said." I ran my thumbs across her cheek bones, smiling at this silly girl I was completely in love with.

She blushed hard, and brushed her lips against mine. "I love you too Edward, but I still can't take her purse."

I leaned in and kissed her fully. "Love, it's yours. I promise. You didn't even look inside yet."

Her eye brows shot up and she scrambled for the bag, then relaxed when she pulled out the condoms. "These I'll accept. The bag? Still no."

I pouted. "If you don't take it... uh... we're still playing the game."

She pouted back at me and stood, "Edward I won't accept a thousands of dollar bag that was supposed to be Alice's on the threat that if I don't, you won't touch me. That's not fair."

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down to me, smashing my lips to hers. It had been too long. I couldn't go this long without kissing her. It just couldn't be healthy. She tried to pull away, so I cupped the back of her head with one hand and soon enough, she was in my lap. I pulled away slowly, tracing the line of her nose with the tip of my own and breathing heavily. "Now?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Edward, it's still too much. I feel... weird accepting it."

I leaned in again and kissed her slowly, letting my lips move against hers, then swiping my tongue against them. She opened her mouth to me hesitantly, but finally let me in. Once again, I pulled away slowly, this time placing soft kisses on her eyelids and cheeks. I missed her so fucking much. "And now?"

She sighed and ran her hand slowly down my chest. It reminded me of Tanya, and that was the last thing I needed right then. "Can we forget about the bag for a few minutes? It's been too long. I need you."

I leaned over and kissed her harder, pushing her back onto the sofa. "You got me, baby. Always. You could have called, you know."

"Yeah but I figured that you were either upset with me, or just wanted some space. I figured you'd come home when you were ready."

I laughed and pulled off her shorts. "Baby, even if I had been upset you could've called." I leaned in, kissing her softly and bracing my weight on my forearms beside her head. "I love you, Bella. I'll always come home for you, okay?"

She nodded and kissed me. "I love you too. Always."

I kissed her cheeks and she worked my pants off enough to grab my hard on. She reached around me to the box and grabbed a condom, rolling it on carefully. She laid back again, running her hands over my shoulders and looking up at me. "You're mine, Bella. Always mine."

She was about to speak when I pushed into her. She let out a groan, and arched her back into me while I tired to keep it together. Every fucking time I was in Bella felt like the first. I needed to be inside her... I wanted to be there. As I began to move in and out of her, I realized that there wasn't anyone who made me feel the way she did. I never wanted to let her go. I leaned down and latched onto her nipple through the thin fabric of the tee shirt and her hands threaded to my hair as she began to gasp. "Fuck... Edward..." She whispered.

I kept on going, harder and faster until I felt her walls start to tremble around my cock. I needed her to cum. "Shit, baby..." I whispered, blowing cool air on her wet nipple. "Baby... you're gonna cum... I can feel it. Do you think you can do that for me, Baby? Can you cum all over my cock? Please, Baby, I need to watch you cum."

"FUCKING SHIT EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She wailed, arching off the sofa and into me, holding me tight to her body as I thrust once... twice more before cumming into the condom. I eased my self out of her, but kept her close, not wanting her to be apart from me for any amount of time. I loved her; I really did.

I kissed her forehead, as she began to loosen her grip on my hair. "I love you, Baby." I whispered, not wanting to bother my angel.

"I love you," she replied, running her hands over my face before cupping it gently.

I sat up, bringing her with me and stood to carry her into the bedroom where we both collapsed on the bed. She pulled off her shirt and I quickly got rid of my clothes so that we could curl up into each other-- the way it was supposed to be. I wrapped my arms and legs around her like a vice. I wasn't letting her go unless it was absolutely necessary. I nuzzled my face into her hair, and she tucked her head under my chin. I wanted this to be it. I didn't want to ever have to leave here, but in the back of my mind I knew it had to come to an end, both when I went back to Seattle and when she found out... everything. She wouldn't want me then... she'd be disgusted.

"Baby, I love you."

She hummed into my skin and pressed a kiss into my skin. "I love you."

"So you'll take the bag?"

She laughed, "No Edward, but I'll take you."

I snuggled closer to her, running my fingers through the ends of her hair. "Baby, you have me. You had me before the bag. I think you should take it. If I have to bring it home to Alice... well, let's just say our relationship will suddenly be very platonic."

She nibbled on my neck, "I'd take you, even if she castrated you. You do a-mazing things with your mouth."

I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch. "No babies, then."

"That's okay, we could adopt. No stretchmarks."

"Take the bag."

"No."

"Please?"

"Edward it's too much."

"It's not enough."

She pulled away to look at me. "Edward, you're all I need. I don't need anything else. Just you."

"Well, that's lovely." I kissed her nose then pulled away again. "You're all I need, too. But the thing is, I need you to have that. Because it's a gift." I could guilt her into it. I'd been around Alice for the last five years. I knew I could.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "You do not _need _me to have it."

I pouted à la Alice, and widened my eyes as much as I could. "But you let everyone else get you things. And you bought my clothes the other day. This makes us even."  
"You flew out here - for me, without clothes. Me buying you clothes was a partial repayment of I'm sure the astronomical cost of your flight. Technically I still haven't paid you back for it all and then you buy me this... Edward. It's too much. Way too much."

I leaned in and kissed her softly again, "Like I said, love, It won't ever be enough. Nothing will ever match the things you've given me."

"And what have I given you that you haven't given me in return?" She whispered against my lips.

I pulled away and smiled at her. "Complete and utter happiness."

"You gave me that too, sorry" She smiled.

"I know. It's sitting in the living room, feeling lonely."

"No, you gave it to me the minute you agreed to dinner with me at the restaurant the first night we met."

I narrowed my eyes. "Take the bag."

"No."

"Please? For me?"

Bella sighed, looking down. "Edward, I feel awkward taking it. It's too much. I can't accept a gift like that."

"I don't understand." I said, loosening my grip on her. Maybe I had misjudged the situation? Maybe she loved me here and now, but once we left that was it. "I'm sorry. You're right. I'll take it back."  
She pulled herself back into me, "Edward, just because I can't accept it doesn't mean I love you any less. What if you keep the bag and you can put my candygram in it for valentine's day on like... our 10th anniversary or something?"

I sighed and kissed her forehead, pulling away again and standing up, grabbing my boxers. "Baby, it's fine. You're right. It was too much. I'll take it back."

I tugged my shorts the rest of the way on and went back into the living room to pack the thing back up. What a mess I'd made, huh?

I heard her follow me, "Edward why is this a big deal?"

I didn't look up at her as I put the thing back in its little sleeve thing, "It's not. Really, love."

"It is for some reason. Just tell me why. Please?"

I shrugged and put it back into the box, replacing the lid carefully. "It's not a big deal." I mumbled. "I just wanted to give you something nice. I wanted you to have something from me."

She came over to me and cupped my jaw with her hand, "Baby, I have something from you."

"No you don't. I've never gotten you anything."

She smiled and grabbed my tee shirt before scampering into the bedroom. I could hear her going through her suitcase. She came back out, smiling and carrying my jacket from the night we met. Fuck, I thought I lost it. "You left this at my place after that first night. I haven't had the strength to give it back. When we stopped talking.. I'd fall asleep wrapped up in it." She blushed as she spoke.

I traced my fingers over the lid of the now closed box and looked up at her. I didn't want to think of being without her anymore. I didn't ever want to be without her. Not ever. I couldn't do it. I stood up and kissed her slowly, then pushed my forehead to her shoulder. "I love you, you know that?"

She pressed her lips to my temple firmly, "Does that mean you'll let me keep your jacket?"

I sighed and kissed her shoulder, turning back to the box and putting it in its bag. "Of course, love. You can have whatever you want."

"Kay, then I know without a doubt in my mind four things I want." She said, plopping down on the couch.

"What's that?" I asked, scratching my head absentmindedly and looking around for my shirt.

"Well one, this jacket."

"Two?" I called, moving into the bedroom and grabbing my spare shirt, since I'd found the other draped over Bella.

"You."

"You've already got me." I yelled, pulling on my jeans. "Three?"

She got up and followed me into the bedroom, leaning against the door frame. "A family with you."

I stood in front of her, my brow furrowed. "This isn't going where I thought it would. Four?"

Her voice dropped, "The first three, but unconditionally and forever."

I stopped and looked at her. She already had those things; they'd already been discussed. I leaned in, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead. "You have them. You'll always have them." I murmured into her skin.

"Then a fifth thing?" She whispered. "That Birkin with a candy gram for our 10th anniversary."

I sighed and kissed her forehead again then pulled away. "I'll get you something else. You said you didn't want it, so I'll take it back. You don't have to say that just to make me happy. _You_ make me happy, love."

"No, I never said I didn't want it. I said I couldn't accept it. Edward, in the span of less than two months I've met and fallen in love with the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And now he's trying to give me a ridiculously expensive, beautiful bag. Edward, please. I love it and truly appreciate the gesture but please can't we save it, hold onto it for a while?"

I moved past her and into the living room, picking up the bag and looking at her. I couldn't take it home. She had to realize that I couldn't take it home. "Baby, it's fine. If you really want another, then I'll get you another. But I"ll bring this one back." I shrugged and reached for my key. "It's fine, love."

"Why can't we keep it?"

"I can't take it back with me."

"Oh. Oh.... right." she hung her head, my heart broke. "Right. I didn't even think..." she turned and shuffled back into the bedroom, "Take it back Edward."

I sighed, and tossed my head back. I just couldn't win today. There wasn't anything that I could say or do that would be right. I dropped the bag and followed her into the bedroom. "Baby, I'm sorry... But I--"

"No it's fine. You're going back to Tanya, of _course_ you can't take it back with you. I get it." She changed out of my shirt and into her stuff, then looked at me with cold eyes. "I'll see you when you get back, yea?"

"Baby, stop. I'm sorry. I just... fuck... just please don't do this to me right now, okay?"

"I'm not doing anything Edward. I changed because I need to not be surrounded by you right now and thinking that you're going back to Tanya soon and that this whole thing is ending. I just... I need to not think about that right now. So go do whatever you need to do to prep for that, okay?" She crawled under the covers and curled herself into a ball.

"Bella, listen." I was getting mad now because she wasn't thinking beyond her own bubble. She couldn't see the broader picture and why this was all necessary. "Nothing is ending, but I do have to go back and, uh I don't know: break up with her. Minor detail, I know. And then I actually have to get our shit and tie up loose ends. I'm sorry if that bothers you, but I can't think of it happening any other way." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. She still hadn't moved, or even acknowledged that I'd spoken. I realized that this was my out. This was the easy way for me to get around telling Bella the truth and having her leave me. "But honestly, if this is what you want, then so be it. You don't want me around? Okay, fine. I'll go home and take care of shit. Call me when you're ready to see me again."

I turned on my heel and walked out, not really believing that I had let it go that far. All I wanted to do was buy her something; something nice that she could have forever. And what happens? She tells me to leave. I just couldn't catch a break.


	12. Chapter 12

**holy cow 2 updates in what, a week? that's like... super uber duper rare. right bels?**

**Ummmm, tots. it means we actually came out of our bubble to post :P  
whatever, i like our bubble. don't pop it :P**

**our bubble kicks ass. Rob wishes he was in our bubble.  
Umm... duh. so, let's get the nitty gritty outta the way. 1) we don't own these characters (you'd think by now, right?) and 2) we love reviews they keep us plowin along in Topeka.**

**umm, tots. they make good rooster food :)**

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure how long I laid there but it felt like ages. I knew Edward had to break up with Tanya, him being sarcastic and condescending was completely unnecessary. But I'm sorry; maybe I had grown used to the few days of not having to hide everything but when he brought up not being able to take something back for our future because of his present, it struck a cord. I mean, in the grand scheme of things the purse was nice, but it wasn't the end all be all. I just didn't get why he couldn't bring something for our future (however insignificant the bag itself was in the greater picture) to his studio if he really wanted to keep it for us. I tossed and turned fighting with myself but at the end it was the principle of it.

He wanted to take back a part of our future to keep things copacetic in his present. And that's the part that turned me into a Moody Mary. It wasn't having the bag or not having the bag or even Edward going back to Tanya to end it, but that he could and would so easily toss away something for _us_ for our future, to keep his present happy. It almost seemed like he didn't want to rock the boat because he was intending to stay with Tanya for a bit.

And that's when I decided it would be best for me to go for a walk. Clearing my head might be good. I changed back into Edward's t-shirt, because who was I kidding? I needed him. It may have been pathetic and anti-feministic but I did. I need him near me and with me and loving me. After tossing his t-shirt back on and slipping into a pair of yoga pants I grabbed my key card and walked out of the room. As I turned the hall to the elevator I noticed a familiar mop of bronze hair on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"Edward?" I asked as I approached him. I saw his fingers rake through his hair as he turned towards me. "Bella..." I jogged over to him, flopping down beside him and wrapping my arms around him tightly. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as I felt his arms wrap around me.

"what's wrong, love?"

"I always want you around." I breathed into his neck pulling myself tighter against him.

He pressed his lips into my hair, sighing quietly. "I'm here, love. Whenever you want me, I'm here."

"And I'm sorry... I just... I'm scared we'll go back and things will go back to the way they were. That this will have just been a temporary bubble of like, the perfect world. And you'll go back to Tanya and marry her and I'll go back to James and it'll be like the past few days never happened."

His grip tightened around my body and I felt him shake his head against my shoulder. "Hey... Hey... don't say that, okay? If you still want those things with me, then we'll have them. I still want them, Bella. I wouldn't have promised them to you if I didn't." There was a brief moment of silence before I felt his lips on mine and it felt nothing short of apologetic. "I'm sorry I got so sensitive over the bag. I just wanted you to have something from me. That's all."

"I'll keep the bag now, if it's that important to you. I don't want you to think I didn't appreciate the sentiment. I love the bag, I love you for thinking enough of me to want to get me the bag. I love you for not denying us to Alice even though you probably should have." I murmured planting kisses along his neck after each declaration. "I love you because you're Edward and you're the only man I'm ever going to love."

"Baby, I love you too. And you know you're it for me... there won't ever be anyone but you, you know that. And it's not about having the bag or not having the bag. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I love you, Bella. You... you gave me my _life_ back, and that's a priceless gift and nothing I ever give you can compete with. You deserve so much more than some leather and string."

I stood up and pulled him up with me. "I have you. There's nothing that could ever mean more to me than knowing I have you, always."

His arms came around my waist protectively. "But that's not the same. I want to show you how much you mean to me, and I... Bella, I don't know how." I pressed my lips against his softly and rubbed my nose against his. I didn't know what to tell him. Would leaving Tanya fix everything? I hoped so, but relationships are hard no matter how perfect two people are for each other. My lips found his again quickly before resting my forehead against his. "Baby, let's go get dinner okay? Bring some take out home and just veg. I missed you."

He nodded. "I missed you too." His arms released their grip on my waist and his hand found mine quickly. "What do you feel like?" I asked as we made our way to the elevator.

He shook his head, shrugging. "I don't care. Whatever's closest?"

"We could say fuck going outside and just order room service?"

"Mhm. We could. On me." I rolled my eyes and let out a small laugh. "I shouldn't even bother arguing should I?"

"No, you shouldn't." He said, kissing me. I laughed a little harder and kissed him again as we turned around and walked towards our room. "Fine... for now."

"For now?"

I nodded and opened the door with my card. "Mhm. You can't pay for everything Edward. Eventually you're going to need to be okay with me buying some of our things."

He scoffed as if what I'd said was completely ridiculous. "Like what?"

"Like food for us. You didn't seemed to mind when I bought us breakfast last weekend."

He plopped down on the sofa, reaching for the menu on the coffee table. "Correction, love. You went out and did it yourself. And I will get you back for that." I turned to follow him to the couch when I spotted a familiar bright orange bag in the corner of my eye. I turned, and bit my lip.

The purse. He hadn't taken it back. "Ed-- Edward?" I asked over my shoulder.

"What's up, Baby?" He asked, sounding distracted.

I couldn't take my eyes off the bag. "You didn't... take the bag back?"

"You didn't tell me to. You just told me to give you space. I was hoping you'd change your mind." He said sounding a million miles away, as I heard the beeping of dialing behind me.

"But.. but you said you were taking it back. You said you couldn't bring it home with you... that you'd get a new one if I really wanted one that badly later on."

I heard the phone click off and his voice sounded more certain. "Baby," he began. "If _that_ bag means enough for you to tell me to leave, then I'll figure something out. And if you want a new one later, I'll get you a new one."

My head shot around and my body quickly followed; I was on him in an instant. A mixture of guilt, happiness, and just... love overpowered me. My lips moved against his feverishly as my elbows rested on his shoulders and my hands tangled in his hair. His hands moved up and down my sides rhythmically as I let out an exhale against his lips and he took that opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. We tasted each other for a few moments before slowly pulling away. I pushed my nose against his playfully as I whispered, "It was never about the bag itself Edward, you need to know that." He nodded and kissed my cheek softly. "I know baby. I didn't think you would have kicked me out over a fashion accessory." I smirked and nodded, thankful that he at least partially understood - even though I didn't remember kicking him out. I rolled my body off him and snuggled up to his side as we flipped through the menu for the kitchen downstairs.

"So why am I being subjected to this again?"

"Edward, it's Real Housewives of New York. We're in New York and this is like... the best reality show ever." I replied as we shared a plate of steak fries and a $16 dollar burger. Really, I was expecting it to like... glow or something with radiance for that price, but no. It was just a burger with cheese, between two buns. He smirked and shook his head. "Okay so that blonde one that looks like a man?"

I nodded "she's married to the douchebag with an accent who everyone thinks is gay." His eyebrows pushed up into his hairline. "Everyone?"

"Well... just me. But come ON! Watch him!" I said pointed animatedly to the TV. "Watch!" He laughed and took a bite of his burger half as he settled into the couch. I fell against his chest, holding a handful of fries. "Ew! The Countess..." I sneered as we watched her go off on Ramona at some charity function."

"Why is she such a bitch to her? Sure Ramona may be annoying, but that's not necessary!" He shouted. I lifted my head and looked at him wide-eyed before busting up laughing.

"What...?" He asked looking at me confused. "I'm right, watch!" He said, gesturing towards the TV. I continued laughing and nodded. He looked at me as if I'd sprouted three heads and turned back to the TV pulling me closer to his side.

"Sweet or salty?" I asked after the show had flashed previews for the next episode and we waited impatiently for the marathon to continue.

"Sweet. Hot or Cold?"

"Cold. You?"

"Hot. Brownies or cookies?"

"Brownies with nuts. Favorite fruit and you can't say strawberries because that's a cop out answer."

He kissed my forehead and leaned us both back against the couch. "I'm allergic to strawberries, so I couldn't even if I wanted to. Blueberries, you?"

"Umm... mango."

"Sex with or without a condom?"

"Doesn't matter."

I turned to look up at him. "It doesn't matter?"

He shook his head. "If I get to be in you, at least to me, it doesn't make a difference."

I smiled and let out a small laugh. "Well then I feel like a total perv."

"Why's that?" He said, laughing.

I leaned in partially for added effect but mostly to hide my blush. My lips grazed his earlobe as I whispered, "because I like feeling you cum in me."

"I don't remember saying I hated that?" He stated, kissing my cheek softly.

"No just that you're unaffected either way and have no preference." I replied pulling back and kissing his chin.

"Cause I get to have you. And I'll take however you'll let me." He said with a shrug.

I laughed at how democratic he was being. "Waffles or pancakes?"

He let out a puff of laughter and rolled his eyes. "Pancakes. Lucy or Ethel?"

"Ethel. Lucy's voice sounds like nails to a chalkboard to me. Favorite Peanuts character?"

"Linus. Greece or Italy?"

"Italy." I replied sliding over his lap to straddle him and face him head on. "Family Feud or Wheel of Fortune?"

"Family Feud, which is obviously a good answer." He shifted my body to rest against his thighs and leaned in to kiss my bottom lip before resting his head comfortably on my shoulder. "Watch me die slowly or quickly."

"I'd rather die first."

I felt his arms tighten around me as he murmured into my hair, "I won't let you."

"You'd rather make me suffer and have my final image be of you dying? Because baby when you die, I die."

His cool breath fanned over my warm skin and I felt his mouth open around the curve of my neck laying a moist kiss against the spot."Live for me"

I shook my head against him. "That sentence... that _word_ doesn't even make sense unless you're in it with me."

I felt his nose graze the curve of my neck as he murmured against me. "I'm always with you. Always. We're never truly apart, love."

I pulled away a little, worried. "Edward... you're okay right? You're not like, sick or anything?"

"No, love."

I sighed and pressed my lips to his slowly. "Good. Because I want you around for the next 50 years."

"That's all I get?" He asked, grinning playfully.

My lips curved into a grin. "Yep, I figure on my 75th birthday I'll ask for a divorce."

He sighed, shaking his head and moving his head down to rest against my collar bone. My lips pressed into his hair firmly. "Baby, I'm kidding. You see how attached to you I am now? Imagine when I've had 50 years of this. You think I'm going to let it go without a fight to the death?"

"You might." He murmured against my skin. "Edward," I murmured into his hair. "Look at me." His head rose up slowly. "Edward, I love you. If there's only one thing I know I will never forget no matter if I live to be 200 and go senile, it's that I love you. I will always want to be right _here_ with you. Trust that, okay?" He nodded, kissing me quickly. "Okay. I love you, my Bella." I placed a chaste kiss on his lips and inched off his lap to stand directly in front of him. "It's Sunday Edward," I pointed out as I hooked my thumbs under my sweats and pulled them down. "That means you, me, no clothes and that bed back there." I stated, pointing towards the bedroom. "I mean, unless you'd rather watch Real Housewives..."

He smirked and tugged his t-shirt off his head quickly, tossing it behind him. "I could always move the TV in there." I raised an eyebrow and slid Edward's shirt off my body standing in front of him in my white boyshirt-cut underwear. "You sure that's how you want to spend the evening? Wrapped up in the reality TV marathon?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest and creating the illusion of even more cleavage than I had.

He moved, dropping his pants quickly before getting on his knees in front of me. His hands reached for my arms and pulled them apart, away from my breasts. He sighed audibly before his tongue traced the underside of my tits, slowly making its way to my nipple, while the other breast was wrapped in his hand as he palmed it roughly. He moved his mouth to the other breast moaning against me. Once he'd had his fill of my chest, his lips meandered up to my lips slowly. Just before his mouth met mine he whispered, "I think this is better."

I sighed and pressed my lips to his before letting my lips wander down his neck. "Are you sure? I mean I know you were looking forward to seeing the fallout between everyone." I breathed against the crook of his neck before biting into his skin.

He groaned and slowly lowered his body as his lips made contact with every part of my skin along the way. He laid open mouth kisses between my breasts and down my stomach, poking his tongue in my belly button and making me squirm. He took a deep breath and groaned as his face made contact with the elastic of my underwear. "I wanna see your underwear hit the floor." I sucked in a breath and rolled my head back as I felt his lips move further down, kissing my mound through my panties. "Wh-what... don't you like my underwear?" I mumbled somewhat incoherently. "Not when they're coming between me and my dessert." He whispered as his lips pressed against my folds through my underwear. My throat let out a pathetic whimper and I felt him smile against me. His fingers pulled my underwear to the side as his tongue crept its way from my entrance up to my clit. "Fuck...." I puffed out quietly as one of my hands tangled in his hair. His lips dragged lazily back up my body taking their time around my breasts before coming to settle on my lips. "Baby," he murmured. "I need to fuck you. I've only had you twice today. That's like going a decade without in regular couples time." His hands moved down my sides and around my back slide under my underwear and cupping my ass as he pulled me up against his hard on. "Feel me baby," He whispered against my neck. "I need to feel you." I hopped up and wrapped my legs around his hips, tilting my head so I could attack his mouth with my own. His hands gripped my ass and my arms wrapped around his shoulders as he walked us towards the bedroom. My body couldn't handle not feeling this way. It couldn't ever go back to not feeling electrical currents run through it at a man's touch, or see stars from such intense orgasms. I wanted to memorize how Edward felt buried inside me so I'd never forget how good he felt.

We bumped against the mattress and laughed a little under the kiss. His arms lifted me a little higher and I unwound my legs from his body as he set me on the bed. I knelt down in front of him on the mattress and scanned his body. How the fuck did I get this lucky to have a greek god as a soulmate? I mean really, he made me wet enough when he had clothes on, naked he was just... breathtaking. My lips curved into a smirk as my eyes landed on the prize. I looked up and his hands shot up to his hair tugging on it. "Bella, you don't... I mean I'm obviously ready..." He said hesitating a moment. I smiled and shook my head. "No, no fair. You got a taste of me, now I want to taste you." I replied, wrapping a hand around his shaft and pulsing around him. "Shit, baby..." he huffed, leaning his head back. My tongue widened as it swiped along his tip, licking off all the precum and swallowing it down. "Shit..." he sighed. I sat up a little more, grinning. He only gave me one lick, that's all he was going to get. Ha, take that Mr. Tease. His head fell forward with open eyes. "That's... that's--"

"Fuck me Edward." I said, sufficiently cutting him off. I saw his chest fall as he let out a breath and leaned over, pushing my back onto the mattress. His arms bent at an angle so he could prop himself up above me as his lips grazed against mine lazily. It was incredible how quickly our mouths melted into one another. "Fuck," he panted against my lips. "Condoms are in the living room."

"So don't use one?" I asked. I knew I was just asking for trouble by not using protection but fuck, the living room was so far away it may as well have been Africa as far as my pussy was concerned and it needed Edward's cock stat.

"Bella, we can't. You're not on the pill, we have to use something."

"Edward, please? For me? Just bury yourself in me and fuck me til I cum around your dick and you release into me. Please baby? I love feeling you cum."

"Bella it's not... what if you..."

"Edward, _please_. I'm begging here. Your girlfriend is laying under you, naked, begging you to fuck her. Please baby? Please fuck me?" I asked in my most innocent voice. He sighed and his shoulders relaxed a little as one hand moved down to his cock and I felt his tip brush against me. "I love you," he breathed against my lips as his head pushed into me. I moaned into his mouth at the feel of him sliding inside me.

There was nothing that would ever feel better.

**EPOV**

I held still for about... a second before I couldn't take it any longer. My bare shaft, wrapped up in Bella's tight pussy was completely indescribable. I groaned and dropped my head to her shoulder as I began rolling my hips slowly in and out of her. Bella was mewing softly in my ear, one hand twisted and tangled in my hair and the other thrown over the bed, gripping the sheet. That shit made me go faster. I lost any control I might have had and I started moving quickly in and out of her. I wanted her to cum because I wanted to see it. I loved watching her let go and knowing that I made her do that. I never felt more like a man than when I was making Bella cum. I attached my lips to the soft skin before me and sucked on the spot while one of my hands went to work on her breast.

"E-edward..." Bella moaned, squeezing and tugging at my hair in time with my thrusts. I pulled and tweaked her nipple until I could feel her begin to quiver around me. I lived for this. I just hadn't known it until very recently. I moved my lips from her shoulder and kissed my way up over her neck and jaw until my lips found hers. I literally fit with her in every way possible. Her lips moves against mine fluidly, as though we were specifically designed with the other in mind. That was when it hit me. Bella and I were really meant to be. We were meant to do this. This... moving in and out of this perfect creature and making her gasp and moan was right. What Bella and I were doing could never and would never be wrong. We were never a game, nor were we a torrid affair.

We were fate manifesting itself.

"Edward... Edward... please..." Bella whispered, kissing the skin beside my ear. "I... I need to cum. Please baby... make me cum."

I sighed softly against her skin and trailed my hand down to her swollen clit, pressing down on it. Her response was instantaneous. She arched off the bed and into me, her walls beginning to flutter against my cock. "Bella, Baby? My Bella... baby, fuck... just... just fucking cum for me, love. Please, Baby, I need you to cum for me all over my fucking cock. Baby, please... I need to feel you.... please baby FUCK!"

I yelled her name as she came, clamping down on my cock and chanting my name. She milked my cock and I kept breathing, trying to ride it out. It was too much though. She was so hot and tight and wet... I couldn't take it. I'd meant to pull out... I didn't want to put us in _that_ situation, but I couldn't. It felt like her pussy was pulling the cum from me. So I gave it to her. Hard. I buried my cock inside her and filled her up, kissing her passionately as I did. I wanted her like this forever, consequences be damned. I waited until her orgasm died down to pull out of her, placing light kisses across her face. I pulled out of her carefully and rolled over so that she was on my chest and curled into me. Where she belonged.

I kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. "Baby, I love you."

She pressed a deep kiss over my heart, "I love you."

"I hate that I have to leave you, you know."

"Me too." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Do you know when you have to go?"

I scooted down so that I could rest my cheek on top of her head. "Tuesday at the latest, love."

She squeezed me tighter, "Tuesday's soon."

I nodded into her hair, "I know."

"So it definitely has to be Tuesday?" she asked sadly.

"Yeah. I left some work at the studio that I need to finish up and send out." I grimaced when I thought of all the emails piling up in my inbox. "But if you're out here for much longer, maybe I can sneak back out for the weekend."

She lifted her head and scooted back to look at me, "No, I should be done by Thursday or Friday at the latest. I'm not going to stay for the rest of the project. That could take weeks, and I don't know if I could handle being away from you for that long."

I furrowed my brow and look down at her, "Baby, you should do what you have to do. I can come visit you, and we'll be on the phone all the time. If staying is something that you need to do, then do it. I can wait."

"Yeah, but I can't."

I squeezed her tightly to me, wrapping my legs around her so that she was surrounded by me. "Love, I'll be right there when you get back. Really, time will fly. You'll see." I said it for her, but for myself as well. She needed me, sure. But I needed her just as badly.

She shook her head, smiling slightly, "No, I've already decided I'm going home after I'm done with this phase. If they need me I'll come back but I don't want to be here, without you, unless absolutely necessary."

I leaned down and kissed her. "Good."

She smiled up at me then asked, randomly: "Do you know how lucky I am to have you? Like it baffles the senses how fortunate I am."

I laughed a little and rolled my eyes. "Bella we discussed this. I am not a catch. You're definitely slumming it with me."

She laughed and shook her head, "You've obviously had the senses fucked out of you this weekend, because that isn't even close to being remotely true." She curled back against me. "I love you."

"I love you too. But really, Baby, this is it. I'm not hiding the best parts for later. This is all of me."

"I know. Because you're the best part, just... you." She looked up at me, her chin resting on my chest. "That's all I'll ever want Edward, I hope you know that. I don't care about the purses or surprise trips to New York. All I want forever is you. You the photographer, the lover, the man that listens to my insane theories on mushrooms... just, you."

"You have me, Bella. As long as you want me, I'm here. I might get frustrated, but I'm always here with you, okay? There's no better place for me than with you."

She sighed, "Edward?"

"Baby?"

She pulled herself impossibly close and I felt her eye lids flutter against my skin. "Can we try and get some sleep, on the promise that you'll wake me up at some point so I can feel you inside me again before sunrise?"

I laughed and kissed the top of her head, settling in. "Of course, love. Sleep."

**BPOV**

Twenty four hours, one and a half boxes of used condoms, and a full day of work later Edward and I were sitting in a Thai restaurant a few blocks from the hotel enjoying some good curry and noodles. We'd been relatively quiet with each other since I'd come home from work; his looming departure weighing heavily on our minds I suppose.

"So you'll call me when you land, right?" I asked as I plated a little more pad thai onto my dish.

"Of course, love."

"And if you get delayed, you'll call me no matter if it's 3am or 10am?"

"Yes, love."He replied, smiling up at me as he added more chicken curry to his plate.

I laughed a little putting my hand over his. "I know... I'm sorry. I just, I'm just going to miss you and I'm trying not to think of having to go another four days without you."

He pulsed his hand around mine and laced our fingers. "I'll miss you, Baby. But you'll come back to me. It'll be no time."

"I know, you're right." I said smiling back towards him. He was right, it was only four days. I was just being fucking dramatic. But still, the idea of going from 24-hours a day Edward as my boyfriend, to being nothing, to having to go back to sneaking around... it didn't sound that appealing when compared to having him all to myself here, where we could be a real couple and not hide.

We went through the rest of dinner, followed by finishing almost all of the condoms that were left in the second box by the time the dark sky was beginning to lighten.

"Baby you didn't get any sleep." He whispered as he dragged his lips softly down my neck.

Like I cared. I just spent 8 hours getting lost in Edward's naked form. I'd go a week without sleep for that if I could spend it getting lost under the sheets with him instead. I hummed and tilted my head, giving his mouth better access to my neck and shoulder. "That's okay. I'll just work from here today, call in for meetings and nap in between or something."

I felt him chuckle against my shoulder. "Have it all planned out, huh?"

"Obviously." I smirked. My breath hitched as I felt him bite my neck roughly and suck on it. "Mmm... Edward." I moaned as my hand trailed down to his shaft. "Did you want to go again?"

He let go of my skin with a quiet 'pop' and laughed. His hot breath wifting over my now damp skin and causing me to shiver. "Baby, I just wanted to leave my mark." I turned to look at him grinning. "Oh really?" His lips reattched to my skin and I swore I was going to peak right there. One of his hands slid down to my hip gripping it roughly as he continued to suck and bite hard against my skin.

"Edward..." I moaned, moving my head to the side to give him more room.I felt his lips release from my neck as he nuzzled my shoulder with his nose taking a deep breath. "Bella, baby... sleep for a few hours. We don't have to be at the airport until 10."

I nodded as he shifted his body to wrap around me snugly tucking my head under his chin and against his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too baby." He whispered pressing a firm kiss into my hair and tightening his grip on my body.

My eyes fluttered open to the annoying buzz of the alarm clock. I rolled over, trying not to disturb Edward as I turned in his arms and reached to hit snooze on the clock. Just as I was settling back against him his arms pulled me even closer and I felt his lips sprinkle kisses all over the top of my head.

"You're either going to have to start sleeping at the studio or I'm going to have to start crashing at your apartment more often, once you get home." He said resting his chin on top of my head. "Because I don't want to sleep away from you any more."

The minor details of our significant others apparently weren't on his mind, so I wouldn't broach the subject. Instead I placed a kiss on his chest and rubbed my cheek against it. "Okay." I sighed into his skin.

He flattened his cheek against my head nuzzling it affectionately. "I miss you too much when you aren't in my arms."

We laid there wrapped up in each other for a few more minutes before untangling our limbs and walking slowly to the shower. We showered together, and despite our track record, we didn't fuck or even come close. We enjoyed each other. We kissed and held on to each other under the spray for minutes at a time. I think we knew things were changing but we couldn't verbalize it. It was if saying out loud would just affirm everything; that we couldn't go back to Seattle and assume we could pick up where we left off in New York. It just wasn't possible. So we stood there as the hot water poured over us, our arms wrapped around each other tightly and our legs entwined and just soaked it all in, committing these feelings, these experiences over the last few days to memory because who knew when we'd experience them again. 'I love yous' and 'you're my life' were said more as a requiem than a declaration as our lips moved with purpose along each others skin. Once we had washed up he turned the shower off and we stepped out. We surrounded ourselves with towels and walked into the bedroom to change.

"Is Tanya picking you up from the airport?"

He rubbed the towel over his torso and around both legs, drying off. "No. I drove myself. Why?''

I shrugged dropping my towel and walking past him to my suitcase to grab underwear. "Curious."

"You okay, Baby?" I slid on my underwear on and turned to walk towards him. My arms wrapped around his neck and his hands slid to my hips immediately. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. "How much are things going to change when we're home?"

His hands ran up and down my back slowly as he whispered in my ear, "From what?"

"From how things are now."

I felt his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath. His lips pressed against my temple and he murmured against my scalp, "A bit, love."

I sighed and kissed his shoulder. I knew that was more or less what he was going to say but it didn't make hearing it any easier. My body pulled away from his and I walked back over to my luggage putting on a tight black pencil skirt and white button down. By the time I turned around he had thrown on a pair of jeans and the green t-shirt I'd asked him to pick up at Lord and Taylor a few days ago. He zipped up the small carry on bag he'd had to pick up to fit his new clothes and dropped it to the floor. "Ready?" He asked.

For what? To watch him go back to Seattle? To Tanya? To a world where he and I were just a bedroom secret?

No, I wasn't. But I nodded anyway.

It was unsafe and illegal but I didn't care; seat belts be damned, my body did not leave his lap the entire ride to JFK. Dennis rolled to a stop and I saw him look in his rearview mirror at us sympathetically before announcing we'd arrived. I felt like asking him to loop around the terminal once more before we had to leave but we'd used up all of our leeway time in the shower that morning. I regretfully slid off his lap and out of the car as Edward followed behind me. Dennis sat Edward's bag on the curb and quickly moved back into the car.

I loved him a little bit for knowing we needed this last moment alone.

"So..." I said biting my lip and looking down at the sidewalk.

His arms surrounded my waist as he pulled me into his chest. "This isn't the end, love."

I nodded against him murmuring, "I know, it just feels like we're losing something."

He pulsed his arms against me and tightened his grip on my waist. "Nothing, Baby. We aren't losing a thing. We might not be able to shout it from the roof tops, but that doesn't and couldn't change the fact that I love you." He said, taking a deep breath before he continued. "Remember that, okay? I love you, Bella. So much. Baby, I love you."

I nodded against him again. "I know. I love you too. I'm just going to miss _not _being able to shout it from the roof tops."

"Soon though, love. Who knows... by the time it happens, you might not want to," he laughed nervously. I pulled away looking directly at him and saw his eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with unshed tears.

"Edward I'm going to love you forever, don't ever doubt that. And I will _always _feel fucking lucky to call you mine, okay?" I replied seriously. I mean after everything... how could he doubt my feelings?

He stepped back cupping my cheeks and brushing his thumbs over them delicately, smiling down sweetly. "I know, Baby. I was only teasing." He pressed his forehead against mine and nuzzled my nose against his own. "You're mine, Bella. Just always be mine."

I wanted to say 'duh Edward', but I felt that might be a little to crass. "Of course, always." My lips pressed against his and no matter how much I tried to shake it, it still felt like goodbye instead of just a last kiss in New York. He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead back against mine. "I gotta go." He whispered, his breath fanning over my face. I sighed and nodded against him. "I know."

"Bella, I love you. Come back to me soon alright?" He asked as his lips brushed against my nose, cheeks and finally back on my lips. "Of course, you're my home. I'm always going to come home." He smiled and sighed as he pulled away and grabbed his small duffel bag. "I love you!" I shouted as he walked towards the sliding doors. He turned around and smiled the Cheshire grin that made my heart beat a million times a minute. "I love you." He mouthed before pivoting back and walking through the doors.

He wasn't even 50 feet away and my heart already hurt. _God_, I thought to myself on the ride from the airport to the office, _what a sad state of affairs_.

**EPOV**

Bella wasn't even a breath away, and I was already missing her. I kept looking over my shoulder for her, but she was never there. I wanted to turn around and stay with her, but I knew I couldn't. I had to go home and deal with real life. With Tanya. And all of this business of getting rid of her. Bella and I would have to talk about that one. I knew that we had said forever, and I knew that _I_ had meant it, but

how could I be sure? How did I know that this wasn't something she did all the time?

The fact of the matter was: I didn't.

I sighed and walked toward my gate, taking my time. What had started out as a little game to get back at my scheming fiancée had suddenly turned into me falling for Bella. I couldn't believe that I had once thought of using Bella. It all felt so wrong now. Bella deserved better than that; she deserved better than James, too. But unfortunately, we were all she had. As i handed my ticket to the flight attendant and got on the plane, I started to wonder if she would really choose Me over James. Well, she'd been with him for five years, and all of a sudden she was willing to toss it aside for me? I slumped down in my seat and sighed. Maybe. Maybe she was. Maybe she did want to be with me, and have my children. Maybe she did want to grow old with me and have stupid anniversary parties. And maybe I wanted that too.

No, not maybe.

I did.

I wanted everything I was supposed to be having with Tanya... with Bella. She meant so much more to me in a few short weeks than Tanya had in years. I was totally fucked. The rational part of my brain kept telling me to just leave Tanya and follow through with Bella's and my plan. We should, I knew. It was a good one. It gave me happiness and Bella. But the other part, the evil doubting part, kept telling me to stick with what I knew. I knew that Tanya would never leave me. She wasn't about to. She had everything she wanted. So what, exactly, did I have to lose by leaving her?

Bella.

And Bella was everything.

I began to realize that if I left Tanya to be with Bella, and then somehow Bella found out about Tanya and James... or that I knew about them. I'd be alone. I couldn't risk it. I needed Bella too badly to let her slip away from me. Bella had to be with me.

It wasn't long before we landed in Chicago, then went on to Seattle. It just wasn't fast enough. I wanted it to be friday, and I wanted Bella in my arms and with me. I felt so hollow with out her. I pulled out my phone the moment we landed.

"Edward?" She breathed, picking up after only one ring.

"Hey, Baby. I'm here."

I heard her sniffle a little, and my chest started to constrict. "Is it sad that I want you to come back?"

My fucking heart tore in two. She couldn't do stuff like this to me. She just couldn't. "Baby, I miss you so much." I sighed, leaning my forehead on the back of the seat in front of me.

"I-I miss you too." She whispered, her voice shaky in my ear. I hated it when she cried and I hated it even more when I wasn't there to fix it for her.

"Baby... Baby, please don't cry. I'll see you soon, love. Friday, right? That's only three more days, love."

She sucked in a deep breath and I stood, getting my stuff out. "I know. It just sucks."

I laughed sadly and began working my way through the airport toward the parking lot. "That it does, darling. But I love you. So it's not too bad, right?"

She laughed a little into the phone. "No. Not after that. I love you, too, by the way."

I sighed and dug my keys out, stepping into the rain, "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

I clicked the lock and got into the volvo. "Again."

"I love you, Edward. I love you more than you can imagine."

I sighed into the phone, wishing I could so that I would know I was doing the right thing. "I love you too, Bella. I love you so much."

There was a brief silence, and I just listened to her breath. It reminded me that she was there, and that there was really someone out there who wanted me... unconditionally. "Edward?" She whispered.

"Yeah, Baby?" I echoed.

"I don't want to have to be away from you anymore."

I pressed the phone into my ear, wishing I could hold onto her. "You won't, Baby. As soon as you get back, we'll figure everything out."

"You'll come over on friday?" She asked, sounding eager.

"Of course, Baby. I'm always there when you want me, you know that."

She hesitated, "Can... can you pick me up then?"

"Yes, love." It wasn't even a question. I would pick her up. I knew it even before the words left my mouth.

"Really?"

"Yes. I'll be there, love. Just tell me when, and I'll be there."

She laughed, an honest laugh into the phone. I couldn't lose that. I needed my Bella to be happy. "Can I call you back later? Once I know?"

"Yeah, Baby, that's fine. I'll be looking forward to it."

"Edward?"

"Baby?"

"I... I don't know how to say good bye to you."

I sighed into the phone, "You don't have to because it's not goodbye."

"Then what is it?"

"It's... I love you."

"I love you, then."

"I love you always." She giggled again, and I laughed at her laughing. "Bella, I love you."

"I love you, too. Friday?" She asked.

"Mhm, friday."

I listened to her breath through the line for a moment longer before she clicked off, and I followed with a sigh. She was so far away from me now, and I needed her with me. I drove home in silence and when I turned into my driveway it really hit me that this was no longer my real life. This was where I was pretending. This wasn't where I belonged anymore.

I belonged with Bella.

**BPOV******

I had gone into work but was a complete scatterbrain. A mixture of missing Edward and sleep deprivation did not make for a good workday.

"Bella?" Francois called from the doorway of his office. I lifted my head up from my laptop where I was barely keeping my eyes open and glance around my cube at him. "Hm?"

"Can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure." I replied, standing up and yawning before walking into his office and closing the door. I sat down on the plush black leather chair that sat on the other side of his desk, facing him.

"Late night saying goodbye?" He chided with a smirk. I laughed a little, too tired to blush at his comment. "Late night and into the morning." I replied yawning yet again. He laughed a little and laced his fingers together. "This will only take a moment of your time. Then I want you to go home and get some rest - work from home once you wake up from a nap or a few pots of coffee." He said as he glanced to his computer screen and back to me. I nodded and he took a deep breath before unclasping his hands and laying them flat on his desk.

"You fit in very well here at Chanel. I hope you know that. It's not something easily accomplished, especially as quickly or seamlessly as you've done. Everyone here both respects you as a professional and cares for you as a friend."

I smiled and nodded. "I feel the same way about the team. Everyone has been great to work with as well as talk to outside of the professional context." His grin returned and he folded his hands again. "Good, I'm glad to hear that Bella."

"Of course. I'm going to miss working with everyone once I fly back home later this week." Well, I'd miss everyone, but not more than I was missing my Edward who was already there.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I know you were set on going home this week, but we'd love you to stay through this project and ultimately... indefinitely."

My eyes blinked rapidly. What? "Um, I'm sorry?" I asked pursing my lips, bewildered at his statement.

"We'd like you to finish this launch and then sign on permanently with Chanel. We'd like to have you on our team and _only _our team." He replied leaning forward a bit.

"Wow.. I--I'm flattered..." I began as I felt my heart quicken but immediately thought of Edward. I'd have to talk about this with him. See what we wanted to do, if this would be something we'd consider. _We'd consider_ I thought, smiling to myself.

"So, what do you think?" Francois' question snapped me back into reality. "Oh, um... well I want to go back home at the end of this week. That's something I've already decided. I wouldn't mind come back out in a month or so to tie everything up and be here for the launch though." He nodded. "That seems fair. And the position?"

"Well, what position would it be exactly? Would I be signing on as a marketing manager? You already have a handful of those, I hardly see a need for another."

"Obviously there _is _a need if none of them could work cohesively together without you heading the project. But of course, you're right; there are five of them. And they need a director they can respect and who will be able to give them more attention, direction and guidance than I can with all the analytical number crunching I need to do. So with that said, we'd like to hire you on as as Marketing Director."

My jaw dropped. "Um... what?"

He must have found my facial expression amusing because his face softened and he let out a hearty laugh. "You and I would work together. You would be Creative Director of Marketing and I would be more of the... data analysis and budget side of Marketing. I believe the exact title they used was 'Financial Director of Marketing'." He replied making air quotes with his fingers.

A promotion, more than likely a bump in pay and a chance to start fresh with Edward as long as he was on board. It was perfect. "This is a lot to soak in..." I admitted leaning back against the chair. "When do you need an answer?" His forehead creased and he looked towards his monitor than down to his desk. "I know it's a lot and I definitely don't want your focus being taken away from this project. The position wouldn't start until January of next year, since we would have to factor your salary into the budget. However after speaking with them at length, this is something our head office in Paris is very interested in pursuing - you are something they are interested in pursuing." He paused and clicked around on his computer.

"Hm, well.. with the position not starting til the end of the year, the budget being done in October-November... how September 1st sound? That gives you about a month after the launch to work everything out and see if being with Chanel here in New York is the direction you want to take yourself."

"That's sounds great." I replied, nodding. He laughed and sighed clapping his hands. "Wonderful! Now get out of this office and go rest. I can only imagine how tired you must be after being up with that sexy man all night." I laughed and stood up. "You better not let your boyfriend hear that."

He shrugged. "Peter hasn't seen your man. He'd agree with me if he knew." I huffed out a laugh, shaking my head as I turned towards the door. "Bye Francois!"

"Bye love!"

Even just the innocent salutation made my heart wince. _I missed my Edward_.

I raced home and passed out for hours. When I woke up it was to the sound of my phone. Edward. We talked for a little bit and hung up after confirming that he'd pick me up from the airport. My body fell back down against the bed and I stared up at the ceiling smiling wistfully. Edward was mine, he wanted to be mine... forever. I would be his always. My eyes closed slowly as I drifted back to sleep, my head swimming with thoughts of forever.


	13. Chapter 13

BELS BELS BELS... JINGLE BELS. HIIIIIII

oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh god. Hey kella kels

Howdy! Fancy meetin you here for a quick lil burst of a/n goodness!

Hehe, well duhhhh :P This is just as important as my latte. Good thing SMeyer thought up these guys, otherwise we'd have nothing to A/N about!

I know, right? We'd be like a/ning less awesome peeps. and omigod we would have never bonded over our agreement about how small RPatz's dick prolly is. Wait... is that crass? :x

A little, but then again, this is smut fic which peeps under 18 prolly shouldn't be reading.

Okay, um... we don't write smut? We write... hot sexxors of awesome. Maybe?

Lol. Mmk. I love it :)

So, please please please review the hot sexxors of awesome so that Bels and I don't sound like liars, okey dokey? Thanks k bai! :)

* * *

**EPOV**

The week dragged and Tanya whined at me. I hated every second of it. I hardly went to the studio so that I could spend as much time with Bella as I could. But it all came at a high price. I slept with my fiancée. I wish I could say that she got me drunk or she seduced me, but it was none of that. She wanted to get laid, and she was bitching about it so I gave in. I felt like I had to. And I literally fucked her dry. I watched her cum two, three, four times before I had to pull out. Tanya asked me what was wrong... what she could do to help. Of course I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't tell her that she wasn't Bella and her pussy didn't wrap correctly around my cock. I couldn't tell her I didn't love her the way I used to. I couldn't tell her I wanted to leave. I couldn't tell her... anything. But as I leaned against the volvo outside of the airport I knew that Bella would fix it. Bella could make it better for me... for us.

I was getting fidgety as I waited for her. It had been way too long. If anything, I'd learned that I couldn't go very long without seeing her, which in turn freaked me out. I wasn't supposed to feel this way after only a couple of weeks, right? I wasn't supposed to be as in love with her as I was. All things that had me nervous for our future. I lifted my head again as the doors slid open and I immediately brightened.

Bella.

My baby.

She dropped her bags and ran for me, my arms out stretched to catch her. "Baby... Baby... Baby..." I muttered between kisses, "I love you... I missed you ... I love you..."  
She clung to me tightly, her arms and legs wrapped securely. "I love you. God Edward, I didn't think it was possible to miss you as much as I did. I love you."

I buried my face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. "My Bella..." I muttered, kissing her neck and tasting her skin. "Don't go again, okay? Just... just don't fucking leave."

She pushed her hips into mine, and let out a soft groan. "Never Edward. Never again without you."

I laughed and kissed my way to her lips, hovering "Already, love?"  
She lent her forehead to mine, breathing heavily. "Edward it's been four days. If you don't get inside me soon my body is going to revolt."

"Then why are we still standing here?"  
"Because you wanted to fuck me in baggage claim at SeaTac airport?"

I grinned, "Do you have a condom?"  
"There were two left from our little adventure back east. They're in my bag." She nodded toward her suitcase.

I dropped her and took a deep breath, "Parking lot or bathroom?"  
She ripped off her hoodie, effectively showing me the black bra she was wearing. "Parking lot."

I laughed and tugged her shirt back down, then headed for her bags, "Easy, Baby, we aren't giving a free show."

She scampered behind me, and I felt her arms go under my shirt, her hands roaming across my skin. "Can we sprint while carrying a suitcase?"

I turned and kissed her before turning and strolling back to the volvo's open trunk. "Patience, my love, is a virtue."  
Bella huffed at me. I think she might have even stomped her foot. "How... why... why am I the only one who is sexually frustrated right now?"

I opened the car door and smiled at her, "You're excited now, aren't you?"  
She sighed and started grumbling at me. "No, now I just feel like an idiot."

I went around to the other side and got in next to her. "Why's that, love?"

"Because I'm practically throwing myself at you and you're treating me like a child throwing a temper tantrum."

I laughed and threw back my seat, pulling her into my lap effortlessly. I kept my hands on her hips as I leaned up and kissed her. She moaned into my mouth and i pushed her into my hard on. She pulled away, her eyes wide. I smiled and nuzzled her nose with mine. "Hard to get, love."

She kissed me, then pulled away just enough so that her lips grazed mine as she spoke. "Please Edward. Please, I need you."

I kissed her again. "Love you never have to ask."

I slowly unbuttoned her jeans and she began attacking my face with her lips. I ran my hands across her now exposed skin, and when I dipped a little bit deeper I gasped. "Baby, no underwear."

Bella pulled away from me and rolled her eyes, "Sexually frustrated, Edward."

I smiled back at her, but I wondered if she could see the guilt in my eyes when I looked at her. I felt so bad about sleeping with Tanya, but I couldn't bring myself to tell Bella about it. It would seem to me as though she wouldn't care, but then again, what if she did? I couldn't lose her. I just couldn't.

I got her jeans off quickly, then pulled mine down just enough for my cock to spring free, thumping Bella in the stomach. I looked up and she had her bottom lip pulled into her mouth and her hips were already rolling against mine. I cupped her cheek with my hand. "Baby, I love you."

She leaned in and kissed me softly. "I love you... now make me cum."

I smiled against her lips and pulled the condom from my pocket and rolled it on. Pretty much the second after I moved my hands, Bella lowered herself onto my cock and I groaned at the feeling. She was so tight, wet and warm... no one else could compare to this; no one. She was absolutely built for me in every way imaginable. I loved her, I loved her. Bella began moving against me, and soon enough I felt my orgasm threaten to ruin this. I reached down and bean rubbing frantic circles on her clit. "Bella? Baby? I'm gonna cum, and I want you to cum with me, okay? Just fucking let go, Baby, I need to feel you cum on my cock. You can do it, Baby. Cum on my cock."

"EDWWARD!" She wailed, her walls clamping down on me and milking my cock. I groaned and lost it, cumming into the condom. I let my head fall to Bella's shoulder, and she began tracing lazy circles on the back of my neck and in my hair. I loved her so much I couldn't stand it sometimes. "Baby? I'm glad you're home." I said, kissing my way back to her lips.

She kissed me passionately, moving her lips fluidly against mine. "Me too."

I smiled up at her, not moving my position, "Welcome home, Baby."

A slow smile crept across her face and she put her forehead against mine, "I love coming home."

i laughed and kissed her again, then down her neck. This was where I belonged, after all. I felt like I'd spent the last four days in some kind of purgatory and now I was home; I was finally home.

It's good to be back.

**BPOV**

I crawled off his lap and we cleaned up before driving back to my place. Our hands remained entwined over the center console as I rested my head against the cool glass of the window.

"I'm glad you're home." Edward said with a sigh as he pulse his hand around mine. I raised my head off the window and turned to face him, smiling. "Me too baby."

"How was the rest of it?"

"Aside from sucking because you weren't there? It was fine. Francois, the guy who I more or less reported to there... he kept me entertained."

He smirked, lifting his eyebrows into his hairline.

"Yeah him and his boyfriend took me out to dinner a couple nights. I think it was more so to keep me from hoping on a plane and coming home to you early than their actual desire for my company." I replied laughing a little under my breath as I answered his unspoken question.

"I missed you, Baby." He admitted squeezing my hand before raising it up to his lips and kissing the back of it. I melted into the feel of his lips on my skin and sighed contently. "Mmm, me too Edward." There was a brief silence while I reveled in the feel of him being near me again before I continued. "So, how was your week?"

His breath hitched before he let out deep exhale. "Long and boring."

"Really? I'm sorry. How was work?"

"I didn't really go in. I wanted to--" He started, pausing to look at me in his peripheral vision.

"What did you do then?"

He let out a low breath stating vaguely, "Hung around the house, mostly. Saw my mom a little."

I sucked in a breath at his first statement trying not to picture what that meant, but I couldn't help it. Images of him and Tanya flashed in my mind and a twinge of jealousy mixed with anger flooded through me even though I knew I had no reason to be either. After all, _I _was the other woman - not Tanya. "Oh..." I said trying to steady my heart rate. "H-- how is your mom?"

"She's okay. Stressed, but doing well."

"Why is she stressed?"

"Well, her job coupled with Alice's pregnancy and then Tanya..." He shook his head, sighing. "It's a lot for her to keep up with."

"...Tanya? Is she okay?"

"Who?"

"Tanya. You said your mom was stressed because of her job, Alice's pregnancy and Tanya."

"She's a pain in the ass. She doesn't get along with my family-- at all. She makes it hard for me to see them, so I'm not as attentive to my mother as I probably should be." He said rolling his eyes at Tanya's obvious wedge she had created.

"And this upsets your mother...?"

"Well, yeah. Wouldn't you be upset if our son hadn't come to Sunday dinner in almost eight months?"

I bit my lip and tried my best to hide my smile at his mention of 'our son'. "Depends. Has he missed Sunday dinners because he's in the Peace Corps?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "No."

"Hm, then yea. But I would hope that we could ask our daughter to help bring him back to family dinners."

"Do you think he'll listen?"

"It depends on why he's not coming to dinner." I paused and debated continuing to pry, but he had opened the door right? After taking a deep breath I pressed on. "So why don't you go? I know you said because of Tanya but you're an adult Edward; if you want to see your family, you should."

"Because she throws a bitch fit every time I do. And in the beginning, she'd go but then be in a bitchy mood for almost all of the following week. And then she asked me to stay home more and more often, and I did because I wanted to be with her all the time. " He shrugged, sighing. "It just got easier to give in to her, then fight with her."

I looked at him, wondering for the first time if he was doing the same with me. Being complacently here because it was easier than to fight. Or maybe, it was easier to be here with me because he knew I wouldn't fight with him because I needed him. I bit my lip as I tried to push the thoughts from my head.

We pulled into the parking lot and he swerved int a space across the walkway from the stairs to my apartment. I wasn't sure if I should ask him to come up or wait for him to ask if he could. His words echoed in my head as he shut off the ignition and turned to face me.

_And then she asked me to stay home more and more often, and I did because I wanted to be with her all the time... it just got easier to give in to her, then fight with her._

**EPOV**

Bella looked so lost all of a sudden. She was sitting beside me, biting on her bottom lip and looking out the dash. I leaned over and cupped her cheek. "Baby, you okay?"

She turned to me and nodded. "Mhm."

My eyebrows pulled together. was I supposed to ask to stay? Or just follow her up? Or... or... leave? Fuck. Where was my Bella? I sighed and ran my thumb over her cheek bone. "Bella..."

"Hm?"

"Baby," My voice was barely a whisper as she looked at me impassively. "What is it?"

She shook her head slowly. "Nothing Edward, really."

I withdrew my hand and we sat in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say or do, so I waited on her.

She unbuckled her seat belt and turned to be slowly, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. "I'm not going to ask you to stay because I don't want you to feel obligated to say yes."

I shook my head, "Why would I feel obligated to say yes?" This didn't make sense.

Bella just shrugged and got out, going to the trunk.

I got out to follow her, and watched as she unloaded her stuff. "Bella, answer me. Why would I feel obligated?"

She shrugged again, "I don't know Edward. I just don't want you to feel like you are; like you have to come up just to make me happy or not start a fight or something..."

I sighed, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. "Bella, you aren't Tanya."

"I know. I just don't want you to fall into the same patterns with me that you do with her. I want you to tell me if you're unhappy and not go on with this simply because it's easier than walking away."

I went to her and pulled her into my arms. "Baby just the fact that you aren't her changes everything."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face in my shoulder. "It does?"

"Of course it does. You're a different person, Bella. I couldn't act with her the way I do with you. It's an entirely different circumstance."

She pulled away a little so that she could look up at me. "Edward?"

I kissed her nose. "Hm?"

She took a deep breath, running her hands across my shoulders. "Do you want to come home?" She asked, nodding toward her apartment.

I squeezed her tightly to my chest, then kissed the top of her head. "I am home."

**BPOV**

We walked upstairs and I sighed as I stepped into my apartment. It felt like eons since I had been here. I leaned my suitcase against the wall as I heard Edward close the door behind him and move closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. I closed my eyes as I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder.

"Why couldn't we have stayed in New York again?"

He kissed my shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the side of my neck. "We're going back, I thought."

"I have to go back in another month or so to wrap everything up..." I turned my head to face him. "Did you want to come with me?"

"If I can. I can't be away from you."

My lips brushed against his as I nodded. "I want you there, but only if you have the time."

"I'll do my best, Baby. But I always have time for you, okay? Doesn't matter when or why; Baby, I'm here."

I nodded and pulled away slowly, tossing off my hoodie. "I smell like airplane. I'm going to go shower really quickly. Make yourself at home okay?"

His brows furrowed with a trace of confusion as he looked over at me. "Okay."

"Unless... you wanted to join me?" I asked, turning around to look at him.

He began moving closer to me, smiling. "Baby, I want to... but I don't want you to feel obligated to fuck me in the shower." He replied sarcastically, giving me a lopsided grin.

My lips curved into a smirk as I unhooked my bra. "Trust me, it's not an obligation it's a _need_, Edward."

He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Well, I think I can fulfill that need, Miss Swan."

I laughed a little. "No pressure Edward. I mean, you don't _have _to touch me in there." I replied, shimmying out of my jeans and turning my back towards him. "I'll leave the door open if you'd like to help me get wet." My hips swayed dramatically as I turned down the hall and walked into the bathroom.

**EPOV**

Yeah, I didn't have to touch her. But I definitely would.

I pushed the bathroom door closed behind me, and eyed Bella carefully from across the room. "Baby, you better be wet for me already."

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as her fingers hooked into her underwear and tossed them to the floor. I went to her slowly and pushed her up against the opposite wall, nudging her legs apart with my knee. Bella moaned softly and her eyes fluttered shut as my mouth began moving over the skin of her neck. I paused, sucking again on the spot I'd made before I left her on tuesday. It needed to stay. It made me feel like I was with her, even though I knew I wasn't. Maybe she thought of me?

I kept working her neck as my hand slid down her body and dipped into her throughly wet pussy. "Fuck, Baby," I murmured into her skin. "So fucking wet for me."

I felt her nod against the top of my head as I moved down to the unattended flesh of her breast. I leaned in, pulling one nipple into my mouth and cupping the other with one hand. Bella gasped and arched into me and began thrusting her body up into mine slowly. She was ready. I couldn't deny her. I wasn't sure I knew how. I switched sides for a few more moments, before I felt her hands come down and undo the button and zipper on my jeans, then forcefully push them to the floor. Ready and willing, that's for sure. I kissed my way back up her body until I reached her cheeks. "Baby, Condom?"

She hesitated slightly before pointing to a drawer on the vanity. I kept her firmly ensconced in my arms as I reached over to get it, and rolled it on with one hand. I reached for one of her legs, putting it up on the edge of the tub and taking the other to hitch over my hip. I leaned into her and nuzzled her face with my nose. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, Edward." Bella mumbled, her hips trying to push down onto me.

I buried my face in the crook of her neck before I pushed into her. "Shit, Baby... you're so fucking tight."

I couldn't get over it; just how perfectly she fit around me, and just how much I needed her to be here with me. Nothing else seemed right anymore. It was funny how one girl could completely turn my life around the way she had. It was also funny how much I wanted it. I started thrusting up into her slowly, letting her get used to me again, before I was able to pick up pace. Bella moved perfectly in time with me, her hips meeting my every thrust as she moaned and panted against me. I felt her begin to flutter and grip around my cock, and I knew she was getting there. Her hands twisted and tugged at my hair, as I became obsessed with sucking on her neck. I loved that.

Soon enough, I knew that I was in for it. And I wanted her with me. "Bella? Baby? Baby... please come for me? Will you? Baby, please? Cum on my cock."

She came silently and hard. Her body clamped down on mine and it almost felt like she was sucking the cum from from me. So I gave it to her. I pushed myself inside of her as far as I could as I shot off into the condom, with her name coming from my lips like a chant.

This would never get old.

Bella and I collapsed onto her bed, and she immediately curled into my side. "Did you know I haven't been here since the night you made me dinner?"

Her legs tangled with mine as she snuggled deeper into me. "really?"

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Really."

"Hm... you should come over more then. This place doesn't feel like home without you."

I sighed and snuggled into her, almost trying to absorb her. "I wanna stay with you." Shit. I hadn't meant to say that... it just kinda came out. Shit.

Bella hummed happily, "So stay."

I dropped my head to her shoulder and kissed over her skin. "You'd get tired of me."

She placed a soft kiss on my chest. "Never. Not in a million lifetimes."

I nuzzled farther into her skin, "You think?"

Bella nodded, "I know." She shifted up and began to nuzzle my neck. "So you should definitely stay."

"I should, shouldn't I?" I mused, mostly to myself.

"Mhm." She murmured absent mindedly, "I want to wake up to you every morning Edward."

I sighed and ran my hands over her back, "Baby, I want that too. You have no idea how much I want that."

I said it because it was true. Bella was the only person that I wanted in bed with me at any given time. I wanted her with me as much as she could be, but I knew she would turn away from me as soon as she discovered the truth. I just hoped that when she did, she would remember that I loved her.

She planted a firm kiss on my neck. "I love you Edward. This is forever for me, I think you should know that now."

"I love you, too." I cooed into her ear, kissing her neck. "Forever forever?"

She smiled warmly up at me, "As Buzz Lightyear would say, 'to infinity and beyond'; that's how long I'll love you."

"Good." I needed for that to be true. I really, really needed it because I couldn't be without her. I just couldn't lose her. "Me, too okay? There isn't anything that could happen between us that could make me stop loving you. Nothing."

Bella sighed, "I kinda figure if we can make it through this patch we can make it through anything."

I breathed against her skin, taking in her scent. "We can make it through anything. Period."

"I know. We just always have to be open. We can't hide anything from each other like we are now to James and Tanya. Promise me we won't?"

I wanted to tell her. I had to tell her. More than anything, Bella deserved to know. I should've told her. But I didn't. "From now on, we have no secrets."

A lie by omission.

**BPOV**

My fingers lazily scratched at his chest with my other hand tangled in his hair. I needed a job that required me to do nothing but lay in bed with Edward naked. That wasn't porn.

My lips pressed against his neck. "Edward?"

He pulled away, chuckling as he pushed his index finger against the tip of my nose. "Bella!"

I laughed a little and kissed his lips quickly. "I just realized, I don't know your last name. I'm in love with a phantom person with only one name. Like Madonna. And I really don't want to love Madonna."

"Cullen."

I smiled and pressed my lips against his again, his name floating through my head. _Edward Cullen... Edward and Bella Cullen... Mrs. Edward Cullen... Bella Cullen..._ I sighed and slowly pulled away. I moved my face into the crook of his neck as my hand that was on his chest wandered down to his happy trail playing with the whisps of hair there. "Edward Cullen..." I whispered into his ear.

"Yes, Bella Swan?"

"Thank you for picking me up at the airport tonight."

He laughed, kissing my forehead tenderly."It's no problem. Really."

"Well it meant a lot to me to have you be there. I somehow managed to miss you even more than I thought I would. I almost left last night instead..." I admitted, bashfully.

"Why, baby? What happened? Why didn't you call?"

"Because it wouldn't have helped. I just needed _you_. I can't explain it... I just crave you. Like all the time, and I think part of it is knowing that you're not really mine at the end of the day that makes the craving that much stronger. Like I need you all the time but knowing that you always have one foot out the door anyway makes my body cling to you that much more to try and convince you that I need all of you... here."

He sprinkled random kisses against my scalp, rubbing his cheek against my hair. "I need you, Bella. Always. There isn't a moment that goes by that I'm not thinking of you, no matter where I am or who I'm with. If that doesn't make me yours I don't know what does."

I sighed, I knew it should be enough. We'd _talked _about it being enough. But was it? "Not being with someone else would." I answered sadly, sighing into his shoulder.

"Bella, I'm sorry that I met you when I did, but I can't regret what we've become. The timing wasn't ideal, but I couldn't imagine life without you anymore."

I looked up at him baffled. "No, I wasn't saying that I regretted it. I just..." I sighed and rested my head back on his shoulder. "I just wish I was the only girl you went home to. It's selfish I know, and it's probably the jet lag that's making me spill all this considering the hour, but I do. I want everything you have with Tanya but... us. I want us to have _our _place and one day I want us to be legitimately planning a wedding and I want to meet the rest of your family and go to Sunday dinners and if we decide on kids, watch them grow up in our home. I just... it feels like we're never going to get past _here _sometimes, and that scares me because of everything else that I want with you."

His arms tightened around me protectively, pulling me into his chest. "We'll have all of those things. I promise. We'll get through this, remember? It'll be fine. We'll fix things and have babies and houses and dinners... Baby, none of that will ever change because I want a life with you. His voice dropped and I barely heard him mumble, "I don't have much of one with out you."

I relaxed into him and nodded. "I know, and i'm sorry for bringing it up again; I'm just ready for my forever to start now that I've found it."

"It's happening Bella. As long as you're in my arms and we're together, it's happening. Everything works when we're together."

My lips grazed slowly up his neck, lightly sucking the spot just under his earlobe. "Are you mine for the weekend then?"

"Yeah... but I have to go out tomorrow night. An old friend just got back to town and we're grabbing dinner."

I yawned and nodded against his shoulder. "Will you come here after? I'll give you my spare key." I offered. My inner Bella was laughing hysterically at the irony that I hadn't so much as offered to lend James my key once in 5 years and yet here I was after 6 weeks, practically begging Edward to take it.

He laughed into my hair and nodded against me. "Of course, Baby. You'll be here, right?"

"Mhm, but just in case it's late and I'm in bed already. Remind me to give it to you tomorrow before you leave."

"Okay. Love you, Baby." He murmured, snuggling me in closer to his body.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him to get as close as I could. Skin on skin, Edward and I.

This was my forever and all I would ever need.

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning with Bella's lips attached to my collar bone. I laughed sleepily, running my hands over her bare back. "Morning, Baby."

Bella nuzzled into my neck, wrapping her arms and me. "Hey."

I kissed the top of her head. "What should we do today?"

"Um... each other?" She suggested, wiggling her eyebrows.

I laughed, smoothing her hair back. "Yeah? Anything else?"

"I think food would be good." She mumbled as she stretched out, "And maybe coffee too."

"Okay." I said, standing and grabbing my boxers. "Where did you want to go, love?"

I started to walk away, but I felt her fingers dip into the elastic and tug me back toward her. "I didn't say I was ready yet."

I smirked down at her. "Oh?"

She shook her head, "Nope."

I sighed and crawled back under the covers with her, pulling her into my chest. "Favorite pastime?"

"Spending hot summer days at La Push beach. Favorite board game?"

"Life. Favorite movie of all time?" I kissed her forehead.

"Toss up between Scarface and Office Space. Favorite vacation spot?"

"Wait, which Scarface? The original or Pacino?"

"Pacino."

"Oh." I sighed into her hair, "Um, probably Cape Town. Favorite month?"

"August. I love back to school shopping... even if I'm not in school anymore. What did you want to be when you were little?"

"A doctor. You?"

"A teacher. What's _your _favorite movie?"

"Jurassic Park. Favorite position?"

"Anything that involves you pounding me."

I smirked into her hair, "Anything?"

"As long as it's you buried inside me, I'll take it anyway you'll have me."

I leaned in and kissed her properly. I felt that for her, too. I loved being inside her, and feeling her come undone because of me. That made me feel better than anything else in the world. "Bella, I love you."

She sighed against my lips, nuzzling my nose with hers. "I love you too Edward."

"You're the best part of me."

Bella blushed, reaching up to kiss me, "Favorite kind of cheese?" She asked with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, "Gouda. Live in a cave with me, or under a bridge with James?" Low, but, I felt like it.

"Caves are pretty awesome..." She whispered as her lips moved across my jaw.

I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch, "I knew a girl once... moved to a cave."

"Oh?" She wondered as her lips continued their assault on my neck.

"Mhm, she was like... a reject or something."

Her lips had now found their way over my shoulder and collar bone. "What happened to her?"

"Dunno. The last time I saw her, she was saying good bye to me. I think she was joking about the cave, though."

"You think or you hope?" She asked, moving down my chest and stomach.

"Both. Caves can be tough. Especially alone."

She lifted the waist band of my boxers and licked along the skin there. "That's why you need me in your cave."

I laughed, "I love it when you're in my cave."

She hooked her fingers in the elastic of my boxers and wiggled them down a little. "Funny, we both love it when the other is in something of the others." She said, smirking up at me.

I smiled down at her, "You really have a one track mind, don't you?"

She rolled off of me and shrugged, "No not particularly. She gave me a quick kiss. "So breakfast?" She asked with a grin.

"Uh huh. Where to love?"

Bella got out of bed, "Wherever you want."

I grabbed her wrist and kissed up to her elbow, the back down to suck on her finger tips. "Wherever you want."

She sighed. "Doesn't matter. I either need you in this bed now, or caffeine. Your choice."

I pulled her back down and got up almost as quickly, pulling on my jeans. "What do you want?"

"Well you're getting dressed so it's obvious you'd prefer caffeine right now." She said, smirking.

I grinned, putting one hand to her stomach and pushing her back down. "Baby, let me rephrase. What can I get for you?"

"Am I not allowed to go?" She asked, raising her eyebrows as she propped herself up on her elbows.

I pulled my shirt over my head, "You went last time."

"So? Why can't I go this time? We could do breakfast out somewhere.."

I stopped and looked at her, "Did you want that?"

"Yeah, why would you think I wouldn't?"

I shrugged, "Cause we were gonna fuck."

She had this oddly surprised look on her face."We were?" She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. "Does this mean if we go out, we can't when we get back?"

"No, it just means you have to wait longer. Why do you look so surprised? Did you not want to?" My heart sunk to my feet.

"No, I just thought... with the whole" Her fingers floated over the bed. "you rejecting me before we even got started that it wasn't on the table."

I looked at her closely. "When did I reject you?"

"Um... right when I was about to stick your dick in my mouth." She said, looking at me like I was insane.

I furrowed my brow. "You were? I don't remember opposing that action." I would _never_ say no to Bella's mouth... or Bella's anything, really.

"Caves... you asking me if that's all I thought about..." She replied, scooting out of bed and grabbing her underwear.

"And then what?" Seriously, did I have a mental lapse? Why do I not recall asking her to stop?

"Well, I just thought you were saying by asking me that I thought about it too much." She shrugged, looking down. "So I stopped."

Wait... so I hadn't told her to stop. "Bella, I was only making an observation. That doesn't mean I didn't want you to. In fact, I believe I was hard at the time."

She shrugged it off and pulled on her jeans. "I'm just not used to wanting someone so much I guess; I misread signals."

I pulled her into my arms. "Baby, I always want you. You know that, right? It's a constant struggle to keep myself clothed and not on top of you when we're not in private or in bed. It was just a question, love. Nothing more. I wasn't saying I didn't want you."

She smiled up at me, "Would you mind being a _little _more perverted then? Because really Edward, I'm putting you to shame."

"Yes, Bella. I promise to be more perverted." I smiled down at her.

**  
**She laughed, reaching for her shirt and bra. "Good."

"So do you want me to go down on you as we walk down the street? Or is that only appropriate at intersections?" I asked, smirking as I slid on my shoes.

"No, but I do expect you to pin me against stoplight poles and fuck me." Bella countered, throwing her hair up into a messy pony tail.

"Grab a rubber, then Baby?" I said, opening the front door for her.

"Fresh out. We should stop and get some on our way."

I pouted as she locked up, "Then how am I supposed to fuck you when we get outside?"

"We could always forget the condom and hope for the best." She shrugged, walking down the stairs.

I grabbed her hand, "Baby, trust me a little Cullen is probably the worst thing that could happen to you."

"I hardly believe that. Though right now it probably wouldn't be the best time. Someday, maybe."

I sighed, as we turned down the block. "Trust me. Anything that comes from me will be... not so good."

"That's crap Edward. You're amazing. I would be ecstatic to have a baby with you one day." She was looking both ways down the street, hardly paying attention to be as she told me she wanted to have my baby. She started to cross while I watched the back of her head. She tugged my hand, "C'mon."

I nodded and let her lead me down the street. She... my... baby... have... what? How had it gotten this far? Oh, right. She was perfect for me.

**BPOV**

After waiting for a table for almost twenty minutes Edward and I had a leisure breakfast of french toast and an omlette. "Did you want to stop by Walgreens and grab some condoms for later?" I asked as we rounded the corner back to the main road.

"No, Bella. Don't you have cling wrap?" He smirked, nudging me with his shoulder. I scrunched up my nose. "Ew, Edward. Just... ew." I replied laughing quietly. He kissed the tip of my nose and shook his head. "Kidding, love."

We looped around my apartment complex and walked into the Walgreens hand in hand. "Can you grab the condoms? I'm just gonna go grab something real quick." I replied as I pulled away from his hand and looked down at my phone noticing a missed call from James. My eyes focused back up to his and he was looking at me bewildered. "Um... sure? Should I meet you at the register?" I nodded and turned to walk down the magazine aisle staring at the latest tabloids while James' phone rang.

"Babe?" I heard him reply into the received.

"Hey James, sorry I missed your call. What's up?" I heard him laugh on the other end. "Bells, I was just making sure you got home okay last night. I didn't hear from you after you sent me the text saying you landed. I thought you might've wanted some company after being gone all week."

_I did have company. And a couple good fucks if you must know._

"Oh, no. I was pretty exhausted from my flight. Just came home and crashed."

"Well I work tonight..." he said trailing off. "Seems like our schedules are polar opposites nowadays, huh?" I laughed a little and nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Yeah, a little bit."

"So how was the big apple?" He asked as I heard his car door shut. "Oh, um. It was good.. great actually. I'm going to have the opportunity to go back in another month or so to wrap everything up."

"What? You have to go back? I thought you took care of everything."

"Yeah, I did - for this part of the project. They want me out there to wrap everything up and be there for the launch."

"For how long?" He asked, tension in his voice.

"Um... probably another week or two at least. I'll know more as it gets closer."

"Bella is your job more important than our relationship? Because from where I'm sitting it looks like it is." Wait... what the fuck? What?

"What?" I snapped into the phone. "James, I was gone _ten _days. Ten. Not ten weeks or months, _days_."

"Yeah, and next time you'll be gone _even longer_ Bella. So I just need to know where I rank about now. Because I won't be second fiddle to your career."

"What the fuck James?" I scolded into the phone. "You have an insane schedule that I've worked with for _three years _and you can't give me a break on one project that has me traveling twice in three months?"

"It's not the same. I save lives. You what, save commercials? Everyone _hates _commercials Bella." I took a deep breath into the phone and shook my head. It wasn't even fucking worth explaining it to him that I didn't work on commercials. It was just nerve wracking being with the same company, more or less doing the same kind of work for three years and not having a boyfriend who understands what you do or even tries to understand it when you explain it. "James, I get it. You're a hero. I'm proud of you. But I love what I do to and it may not affect people as directly as your line of work does, but I take pride in it."

"I don't know why." He said offhandedly. I took another deep breath. "James, I can't deal with this fight right now, I'm in Walgreen's and I'm not going to fight with you on the phone about my _job - _especially at a convenience store."

"Fine Bella, whatever. I'll call you in a few days when I'm off my shift." And with that he hung up abruptly not giving me time to say good bye. I took a deep breath and grabbed the first trashy female-geared magazine I saw as the words "69 hot sex positions you've GOT to try" popped out to me from the cover. I hoped Edward bought a big box.

After picking up a bottle of water I walked over to the register where Edward was waiting in line with three boxes of condoms. He held out his free hand to reach for my magazine and water. I shook my head. "Nope, I got it." He looked at me incredulously. "Bella I'm in line already, just give them to me."

"Nope."

"Love, stop being stubborn." He said as he took a step closer to the front. I shook my head again and moved to the back of the line. He looked frustrated as I paid the cashier and made my way over to him, looping my arm through his. "So three boxes huh?" I said, grinning over at him.

"Mhm."

I laughed a little. "And you plan to use them all in me?"

"Mhm."

We turned the corner into my apartment complex and I pulled out the magazine. "Good, because I think we just might have enough to try each of these positions once." I replied handing him the booklet.

He shifted his bag further up his arm as he leafed through the magazine. "You think?"

"Well, you asked me what my favorite position was earlier. I figure this way we have more to try and decide which ones we like best."

"Sounds like a plan. I have to be out of here by six, but I should be back by midnight. That okay, love?"

I opened the door to my apartment and we both moved inside. I threw the paper bag into the sofa as I walked around the kitchen counter pulling out the spare keys from a drawer. "Mhm."

"For me?"

I nodded, handing him the two keys. "The gold one is for the main deadbolt and the silver one is for the bottom lock."

He grinned, leaning his elbows on the counter top "Do I get to keep them?"

My heart sped up immediately to his question. "Do you want to?" He rolled his eyes and didn't say anything.

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach at his sarcastic nonverbal response. I walked back around the counter and flopped onto the couch turning on the TV not saying a word and I took a series of quiet deep breaths trying not to be disappointed in his answer. "It's already almost two. Did you have to go back home to change?"

"Yeah, but I should be okay." He answered walking over and sitting down on the cushions beside me. "We aren't... I mean, I thought we were..."

My body turned to face him on the sofa. "We aren't what?"

He looked to the side where the paper bag of condoms where and back to me, seemingly confused. "Uh, condoms? Or did you want to do something else?"

I took another deep breath thinking about it. I couldn't be upset that he didn't want my spare keys. I mean hell, let's face it. I was the other woman. He had a fiancee at home. At the end of the day it didn't really matter _what _he said to me because he went home to her. I needed to remember that; to remember that this could all be a lie from him. I stood up smiling softly and nodded. My hand reached for his as I kissed him softly, tangling my fingers in his hair.


	14. Chapter 14

Mhm. Unlike SMeyer, though, we own nothing. Which is unfortuate, although I'm not sure I'd manage to fade to black as much as she does.

Yea. well fade to black is dumb. unless im doing it at the end of a chap.

True true. But you know what's not dumb?

what?

Reviews. Reviews are not dumb.

um... well some are. Like the ones that are from anonymous reviewers that ask questions but leave no contact details to send an answer to.

Well, okay. Point. So I guess if you have a question, and you're anonymous please include an email address. We'd love to get back to you :)

Yea so what say you? on with the love/hate?

Yup, sounds like a plan

* * *

**EPOV**

I laid in bed beside Bella, and she was curled up and away from me, asleep. I had to leave in a bit, and I didn't want to not say good bye to her. Even though I'd be back the thought of leaving her again made me ache with need. I wouldn't know what to do with out her. I was getting afraid of facing even a day without Bella's voice, and now it was like she couldn't get farther away from me. Sure, she was enjoying herself, but any idiot could see how detached she was. I didn't get it. I sighed and got up, looking at the basically untouched boxes of condoms. I ran my hand through my hair. If she didn't want to, she should have just said so. I didn't want her to feel like she had to take me. I didn't want to be just another James to her.

I watched her roll over slowly, her arm stretched out to the other side of the bed. When she didn't find me, she started looking around. When her eyes landed on mine she groaned and flopped back down. Broke my fucking heart.

"Bella, I'll go."

"Do you have to?" Bella asked, her voice soft.

I scoffed a little, "Don't you want me to?"

She sat up on her elbows, pouting a bit. "No."

I threw my tee shirt over my head, "Could've fooled me."

She got out of bed and came over to me, running her hand across my jaw. "Hey, listen. I know I was a little moody when you didn't want to keep my spare keys, but--"

She was really pulling shit out of her ass, wasn't she? "Bella, when did I say I didn't want to keep them?"

"When you rolled your eyes after I asked."

I rolled them again for effect. "You roll your eyes at me all the time."

"Yes, but I usually have a verbal answer to go along with it so you know what I'm really saying."

I sighed, and shook my head, looking down. "I don't understand how I can offend you all the time, and not even know I'm doing it. I mean, why would I ask to keep the keys if I didn't want them? That doesn't make sense, love."

SHe dropped her hand from my face and walked back to bed. "Sorry I'm dumb then."

I rolled my eyes at the back of her head. "That's not what I said."

"You're right. I'm just misreading things again, _obviously_."

"I'm glad you noticed."

She shrugged, "Seems a bit ridiculous that you love someone who is so obviously unable to read you."

I sighed, and pulled up my jeans. "Yeah, it is. But I love you nonetheless, so how do we fix this?"

She wrapped the sheet around her body, looking up at me. "Do you want to keep the keys that I gave you Edward?"

"Yes." I whispered.

"And you love me? Like really, no lies no sarcasm, you _really_ love me?"

My heart stuttered when I realized that she'd actually had to ask. "Yes. How could I not?"

"I just need to know for certain."

"And you didn't previously?"

"We fight over the dumbest things Edward. Obviously there is something that we're unable to say otherwise wouldn't communication be easier?"

She'd lost me. Completely. "So what are you saying? That you don't really love me?" I was terrified of her response, and I felt myself slowly moving for the door.

Her eyes were wide as she spoke. "Edward, I love you more than I need air. I don't... I don't know how to not love you now that I know you."

"So why can't it be the same for me? Why can't I love you like that, no questions asked, fully, completely, and infinitely? What makes me so different from you?"

"You have a fiancee Edward. You loved her at one point as much, if not more than me; so much so that you want to spend the rest of your life with her."

"But you knew that. I never hid that one from you." Other things, yes, but Tanya no. I sighed, putting a hand on my hip and running the other through my hair. "And wait... I thought I was spending the rest of my life with you. Is that not happening now? Bella, what the hell changed? I really don't get it."

"Edward I want that; you, me everything we've talked about. But I _can't _want that with someone who's engaged. Can you understand where I'm coming from?"

I nodded, "Yeah. So then I should go, right? Because that's what I'm hearing. That you can't do this with me."

She shook her head. "No, it's just hard the way it is now. But it'd be harder trying to live without you... I can't do this without you."

I sighed and closed my eyes, "See, Bella, you say that but then you do things like twist my words and push me away. How do I know which to believe?"

I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. "I--I guess that's for you to decide."

I opened my eyes, "No. That's still you. You have to believe me, and trust that deep down in your gut. Bella, I tease you but that doesn't diminish how much I love you and need you. If I hurt you, you have to tell me, otherwise we end up right back here."

She popped up on her knees adjusting the sheet around her. "I know you love me, it's just... it's easy for the doubt to come in with you being engaged. I know Edward. I know you love me and I know that I love you more than I'll ever be capable of loving anyone else."

I took one step to her. "You'll talk to me?"

She nodded, smiling a little. "Only if, for the time being you give me worded responses with eyerolls."

I sighed sadly and went to her, cupping her cheek in my hand. "Don't be sad, okay? You know I can't leave you."

She leaned into my hand, her eyes fluttering shut. "Don't ever, please."

"Baby, I can't."

"I love you. Always. No matter how up and down I get, no matter how much I worry about us at times. I always, _always_ love you."

I laughed and took her into my arms. "Yeah, Baby, I know. But the point is that I love you too, and that you don't forget that."

**BPOV**

I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, but at least we had made up by the time he left around 5. I sat on the couch flipping through the channels on TV trying to figure out what to do with the unexpected gap in my evening.

After doing a couple loads of laundry and cleaning up the small mess I'd left before my trip, I picked up my cell phone calling a friend I had been sadly neglecting.

"Hello?" Angela's voice blared into my ear. I turned the volume down on my cell and laughed. "How's my favorite mommy to be?"

"BELLA!" She yelled and I went to check the volume again - nope down to level 1. "How are you sadie sadie married-and-now-pregnant-lady?" She laughed and took a breath. "I'm good, can't wait for her to get out though, it's like carrying around the biggest pumpkin slash watermelon slash bowling ball you can imagine. "Always the one to give a great mental pic Ang," I teased plopping down onto the couch. We caught up on her and her husband, Tyler's life over the past couple of months and I smiled as she went on and on about her in-laws.

"... and then his mother was like 'well if _I _were pregnant in this day in age _I _would be going to yoga daily and water aerobics to make sure my figure popped back. You don't want my son's eyes to wander in those first few months post labor, do you?" I gasped. "NO! Who the fuck _says _stuff like that?" She laughed and I could almost hear her shaking her head, "Ty's mom, THAT's who!" We laughed for a couple more minutes before the conversation began to lull.

"So, enough about me. What's new with you? How's James?" I sighed and rolled my eyes... where the fuck to begin. "I'm cheating on him." I spit out without really thinking. "You're _what_?" She asked sounding as if she hadn't heard me properly. "I'm cheating on James, with this guy who I'm pretty sure is my happily ever after."

"And who is he? How'd you meet? WHY wasn't this the first topic of conversation?" She said, laughing quietly. I smirked and leaned back into the sofa. I went on for about an hour telling her all about Edward, how we met, the lack of remorse I felt, how great the sex was. "So you're in love then." She said, not forming it into a question I could answer. "Mhm, more than I ever thought I could be."

"And he's still engaged?"

"Yep."

"And you're okay with this?"

"For now."

"Until when?"

I sighed; I hadn't really thought about the time frame we needed to set to figure everything out. "Until he feels guiltless enough to leave her, I guess."

"Bells, I don't mean to sound like a debbie downer but what if... what if he never gets to that point?"

"Then he never gets to that point, he marries her and I walk away." I said matter-of-factly as if I'd thought this through a hundred times before.

"... and you think you'll be able to?"

"If he marries her, I won't have a choice Angela. It's bad enough that we're cheating on our significant others now; I won't let it get that far if he walks her down the aisle. I'm holding on because I love him, he loves me and we _want _that future together."

She let out a breath. "Okay Bella, just be careful."

After that the conversation turned light again and I told her about my trip to New York and Chanel and the job offer. Before I knew it, it was nearing eleven and Angela was yawning on the phone. "Ang, you should go rest. I've been talking your ear off for hours now."

"Don't worry about it Bella, we had a lot to catch up on."

"That we did. So we'll have lunch soon, yea?"

"Yeah, now that I'm on maternity leave I've got heaps of time. You just name the time and I'll waddle over." We both laughed a little and said goodbye. Once I had hung up the phone it hit me how tired I was from all the sex and travel and emotional rollercoasters.

I walked over to the front door flipping on the switch for the outside light so Edward could find the keyhole when he got home.I made my way back to my bedroom and collapsed onto the mattress, making sure to leave his side of the bed empty.

Hopefully he'd wake me up when he got back.

**EPOV**

I got back to Bella's late, and when I went into the bedroom to curl up with her, she was sprawled out in the middle of the bed. I stripped down to my boxers and tried to gently move her over, but she groaned, grabbing onto the sheets. I pushed the hair off of her forehead and smiled down at her. She was mine, after all. Nothing but mine. And I loved it. I loved her. I took a pillow and the extra blanket from off of her bed, and moved to the couch. Uncomfortable, yes, but there was no way I was going home to Tanya while I could still be with Bella. No fucking way.

I woke up the next morning when I felt someone staring at me. My eyes shot open, and I saw Bella looking confused and worried. "Baby? What's wrong? What time is it?"

She chewed on her bottom lip a little bit more before she spoke. "It's 5:54. I just... I thought you weren't here."

I watched her face drop, and I immediately got nervous. "I'm sorry. You were just comfortable in there, so I didn't want to bother you."

"Oh. Well next time, wake me okay? I don't like waking up without you."

I sighed and pulled her into my lap, cradling her in my arms. "I'm sorry, Baby. You okay?"

She put her head on my shoulder, sighing softly. "Mhm, but can we go back to bed, please? I kept tossing and turning; it's like my body knows when you aren't around."

I kissed her forehead, and scooped her up. "Yeah, Baby. How was your night?"

"It was good. I had a hot date with the laundry room downstairs and caught up with my friend Angela." She whispered, kissing my jaw. "How was yours?"

I put her under the covers and crawled in beside her, "Good. We had fun."

"Good, I'm glad." She pulled away, and pulled off her shirt then gestured toward mine. "Off - I need to feel you."

I smiled down at her and pulled my tee shirt over my head. "I think I might love you, you know."

"Oh, just _might_, huh?" She asked, smirking as she curled back up into me.

I wrapped my arms around her, and smiled into her hair. "It seems like every time I turn around you're doing something else to make me love you more."

"What was it this time?"

I kissed her scalp, rubbing small circles into her back. "It was the way your eyes turned a lighter shade when you looked at me. Almost like a gold color in the light."

I could feel her blushing as she kissed my chest. "... so what are we doing today?"

"Baby, it's sunday." I said, curling myself into her.

She grinned into my shoulder as she slid out of her pants. "Oh, what was I thinking asking then?"

I laughed, "I don't have a clue. What should I do with you now?"

She pushed her hand into my hair and brushed her lips over mine slowly. "That's my suggestion." She said, smiling.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh, okay. I see how it is." I leaned in and kissed her again, brushing my lips carefully over hers.

She laughed a little and pulled me down on top of her."It was just a suggestion. We can go like... bowling or something instead." She bent her knees around my body.

I laughed and rolled my eyes yet again, "Yeah, Baby, cause I really want to bowl, given my current position." I pushed my hips into hers for emphasis.

She let out a soft whimper, "Then what _do_ you want to do?"

"Be with you." I said, simply. And that was the truth. There wasn't another place I'd want to be or would rather be than with Bella.

"You have me." Bella whispered, pushing her hips up into mine. "Always."

The truth was, though, I didn't. I had her until I left this afternoon when I had to go home to Tanya, and Bella had to see James. I hated that. I hated that everything between us was so.. complicated. Something this perfect and amazing shouldn't be a hardship. I leaned down, burying my face in her shoulder. "I'm so glad I have you, you know that?"  
"The feeling is most definitely mutual." She said, pressing her lips to my temple and hovering there.

"We'll make it, Bella, right? We aren't going to lose each other?" The words escaped my lips before I even has a chance to censor them.

She pulled away a little and looked up at me, "I'm here either forever or until you get married to Tanya, whichever comes first."

I groaned and nuzzled my face to hers. "I don't want to think about the end. I just... I want to be with you, and I want it to stay like this forever. Nothing else, love just you and me."

"It's you and I now, Edward."

I squeezed her tighter, "Forever, love." I could feel lethargy seeping into my mind. I'd be out like a light in moments. "No matter what happens between us, Just remember that I'm nothing if I'm not loving you. Anytime we're apart, love: I'm nothing."

She sighed, kissing me softly. "For me too. I wouldn't know how to function without you anymore."

I snuggled back into her, and kissed the side of her face before falling back asleep. I had to hope beyond hope that she wouldn't ever forget that.

At this point, hope was all I had.

**BPOV**

Edward left late Sunday night, close to midnight in fact. Which made Monday hard to wake up to, especially since it was without him. Monday came and went without a single phone call; not even so much as a single text. I assumed he was busy still catching up on his work from when we were in New York, so I thought nothing of it. But then Tuesday and Wednesday sped through, though there was the minor distraction of James on both nights, pawing over me.

Ugh, look at me. I'm calling my _boyfriend _a distraction.

Wednesday night as James ran out for another 6 pack of beer, I hit my breaking point. I dialed Edward's number - voicemail, great.

"Hey, um... Edward? It's me. I was just calling cause I hadn't heard from you in forever, okay maybe not forever but three days might as well be right? I mean four days and there were plane tickets being purchased..." I laughed sadly and continued. "Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were and if you were free this week for lunch or something. I miss you. I love you. Bye." I closed my phone and sighed as I flopped onto my bed.

Had I missed something? Some conversation or argument on Sunday night where we ended things? I racked my brain trying to figure out what the fuck had happened between then and now to make him disappear. What about his friend? Maybe he was spending all his time with the friend that was in town? I ran my fingers through my hair groaning in frustration. No, if it was his friend he would have still texted me or called or _something_, right?

I heard the bell ring and I hopped off the bed running to buzz James back up.

Thursday came and went in a blur. I was beginning to think I spent more time staring at my cell phone during the work day than at my computer screen. It was nearly ten at night and I was wide awake. What the _fuck _happened? And then it clicked, hitting me like a ton of bricks. Of course.

He met someone else. His lunches, his dinners, his time at the studio... with someone new. My heart started racing and I tried thinking about something, _anything _else. Basketball, art, my beat up truck that was leaking oil all over the spot it sat in my dad's driveway back in Forks... but none of it helped. So instead I tried rationalizing myself out of it. And it was working except for the one argument I couldn't win: He was a cheater, he was _engaged _and no doubt telling Tanya he was in love with her so why couldn't he just as easily be doing the same to me?

And then my phone rang, and for the first time since I met him, I felt bile rising in my throat at the sight of his name on my caller ID. Edward.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, flipping it open trying to sound casual. "Hello?"

I heard movement in the background as he murmured sounding preoccupied, "Hey, Bella."

"Hey Edward."

"What's up? You called earlier?"

I pulled the phone from my ear and just stared at it. Really, I mean _really_? Nothing for almost a _week_ and he sounds irritated that I made the effort to call him. I rolled my eyes and pressed the phone back to my ear. "Yeah, I hadn't heard from you since Sunday. I was... worried."

"Oh, sorry. I just got caught up with stuff."

"Right..." I said, biting my lip roughly. "So," I said taking a deep breath, "how have you been?"

"Fine, you?"

"Fine?" _Fine_, almost 5 days without me and he's fine but he goes not even 4 with me less than 2 weeks ago and he's miserable? Each word that came out of his mouth just confirmed my suspicions.

I heard a scraping sound like he had swiped his hand over the receiver as his voice shouted a bit muffled, "Just a sec!" I heard more shuffling and his voice was clear as his voice echoed through my ear. "Bella you there?"

I literally felt my heart drop into my stomach. "Y-yea, I'm here." Keep it together Bella, just get through this conversation, just fucking _get through it_.

"Listen, I'll be away for the weekend. Up to Vancouver, but I'll catch up with you next week?"

What? Away for the weekend? "So I won't see you at all this week?" I asked, my voice sounding far meeker than I had hoped it would.

There was a beat of silence before he spoke again, sounding a bit confused. "Baby, didn't I see you Tuesday?"

"...no. You saw me Sunday. I haven't seen you since Sunday."

"Oh, Shit. Sorry, Bells. Next week. I'll make it up to you next week, I promise."

Bells? Since when did he call me Bells? I bit the inside of my cheek before responding. "You know, don't worry about it. Have a good weekend." And before I could hear him call me _Bells_ again or mistake our last meeting with the last time he saw one of his other girls, I hung up.

I did nothing for the next three days. I "worked" from home on Friday, which consisted of checking e-mails, not responding to them and going through half a bottle of vodka on an empty stomach before passing out until 3am. Saturday was much of the same, as was Sunday. Sunday was the hardest though, because of what the day meant to Edward and I. I refused to shower all of Sunday and had refrained from sleeping in my bed on Saturday night; a boycott against nudity and my comfy bed because Edward was a jackass. My mind reeled back to New York when we were in the bath and he asked me if there were any others.

He was asking me because he had a few and wanted to see if we were on the same page, that much was obvious. The more I thought about everything, the more it all clicked. His week with me in New York was a vacation, this weekend away was his new girl's trip.

On Monday I woke up on the couch, completely stiff. Fuck work today. I called Mike and lied, telling him I was bleeding like a stab wound victim and didn't want my menstrual cycle all over his office furniture. He laughed uncomfortably and told me to "rest up".

I stared at my phone a good portion of the morning in a complete daze. It was Monday, he was back. He hadn't called; who fucking cared if it was 9am? If he missed me at all he would have called.

But I missed him more than anything, so before I could back out of it I flipped through my contacts and hit "dial" on his name.

I heard him yawn into the phone, his voice thick with sleep as he answered. "Bella?"

"Edward..." I replied, realizing I had no idea what to say to him. I felt tingles race through my body at just saying his name and I couldn't think of what I wanted to say, or how.

"Baby, what's up? You okay?"

"Did you meet your new girlfriend when I was still in New York? Is it because you didn't think I'd come back?"

"What? Bella, what are you talking about?" He asked sounding completely taken aback.

"Just, now's not the time to lie to me Edward. You tell me you can't go a couple days without me not even a few weeks ago and then you turn around and go a full week without so much as a phone call. Just, I hope you're happier with her than with me."

Lie. I hope you're miserable you fucking asshole. How dare you take my heart and act like you have one to give in return. I hope she gives you herpes.

"Bella, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about but I can be where ever you are in ten minutes. Are you home?"

"Don't come over. I'm sure you have a lot of recuperating to do from your weekend away with your new girl."

He spoke quickly and I could hear him scurrying around his apartment sounding rushed. "No, Bella, I'm on my way. I'm getting in the car now. Just talk to me, okay?"

"No Edward. It's hypocritical of me to say, but I can't..." I bit my lip fighting back the tears, "I can't be with you if you have _other _girlfriends." I finished my voice quivering.

"Baby, you know there's no one else. Stay where you are, I'm on my way." He pleaded, as I heard his engine rev up in the background.

"No Edward. I can't... I never thought..." I sniffled trying to keep the tears from spilling over. "I can't okay? I can handle what I got myself into... but I can't handle you... more girls. I just, can't." I said finally breaking down into sobs as I slammed my phone shut. I curled up on the recliner because it was more comforting than the stiff sofa and let my body shake uncontrollably with tears.

Nothing would ever hurt this much.


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n: holy moly, look who decided to actually post... again!**

**yeah, I don't think it's such a shock anymore. We've been fairly consistent :P  
Well, maybe... anyway. You know who doesn't update? The chick that owns these characters (is anyone still annoyed by the lack of a real book 5 release?)**

**I am! But then again, I'm afraid to read it, so I don't think I count  
Well you know what's NOT scary to read? This fic right hurrrrrrr :D**

**YUP YUP!!!! So shall we?  
Yes'm! Please review, we love it.**

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**EPOV**

Well, fuck that.

I had no idea what was going on with her, but it had to be important if she was calling me crying first thing Monday morning. The pain in her voice... the utter despair. Bella shouldn't feel like that. She didn't need to feel like that. There wasn't anybody else; it was just Bella and I in our own fucked up little world. I needed her to survive, and she thought I'd been seeing someone else? I scoffed at the thought of anyone meaning as much to me as Bella did. No one could ever touch that. She was my sun, moon, and stars. Nothing meant anything without Bella to illuminate it.

I pulled up to her building and ran up to her apartment, throwing open her apartment door. I was panting as I looked for her, and my eyes finally landed on the curled up lump in the recliner. I walked over to her carefully, and pulled her into me, sinking down onto the floor. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She pushed her face into my tee shirt and began sobbing uncontrollably. "you... for a week... her... the weekend.."

I was so confused. "Tanya? Baby, her who?"

She shook her head, her tears coming harder. "you didn't... for a week. Why...?"

I sighed, running my fingers through her hair. "Baby, Ben's here. I told you this. I haven't seen him in three years."

She shook her head again. "not once... then the thing about Tuesday... and it wasn't me..." She said, before starting to sob harder.

Shit. I knew that would come back to bite me. I meant to see her on Tuesday, but I had a shoot. It was the only day I could get it in. I kissed her forehead, pulling her tighter into my body. "With Ben here, and all the work I had backed up, I didn't have any free time. I meant to see you Tuesday, sweetheart, but I couldn't do it. I'm so sorry, love."

"D-don't lie to me Edward.." She said, her tears now soaking through my tee shirt.

I nuzzled her cheek a little, closing my eyes. "I'm not, Baby, I swear. I love you; there's only you for me. I promise."

Bella sniffled, then pulled away to look at me. "You couldn't tell me that you were that busy? Not even text me? Not _once_ in a week?"

Fuck, she looked so broken. I hated that I'd done that to her; absolutely hated it. "I didn't think you'd notice. You've been so busy... I didn't want to bother you."

She scoffed, trying to choke back her tears. "Edward, I'm _in love _with you. Head over heels, want to spend the rest of my life in love with you. I'm _never_ so busy that I wouldn't notice you being gone, and I'll never _be _too busy for you. Never."

Well, there you go. That's where I went wrong. I treated Bella as though she were Tanya, and it was biting me in the ass. My poor Bella. "Baby, I'm sorry. I fucked up. But I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Not my stupidity nor my carelessness. I love you, Bella. I'm so sorry, Baby... so sorry."

She wrapped her little arms around my neck, and held on tightly. "Wha-what about your weekend away?"

It felt so, so good to have her arms around me. "Vancouver with Ben. He has a house up that way so we went to make sure it was okay." I squeezed her tighter to my chest.

She sighed, "So..." She said, taking a deep breath. "you don't have any other girlfriends hanging out in the wings for when you're bored with me?"

I laughed to myself. Really? "No, baby. Of course not. You're it for me, always, remember? And how could I ever be bored with you? You bring my world to life."

She pulled away, then pressed her lips to mine hungrily. "I love you. I just-- I can't lose you."

I pulled her into me, tucking her head under my chin. "You won't Baby. I promise. You're it for me. For always. I love you, too. More than you could possibly know."

She relaxed against me, and started nuzzling my neck. "You scared me last week. I thought you were over it, over me."

"Never, baby. Not ever."

"Can you stay today?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I think I have some making up to do."

She pulled away, trying to brush the tears from her face. " No, well... If you have stuff to do Edward, I don't want to stop you. You can come by later or tomorrow or something."

"No. nothing could keep me from you today."

"You sure? You said you didn't get much work done last week. I'll be fine if you need to take care of work stuff."

"Baby, you were hysterical. Do you honestly think I'd leave you now?"

She took a slow, deep breath. "But I'm fine now, see?" She said, and one look at her red, puffy eyes told a different story.** "I want you to take care of what you need to Edward."**

I smiled sadly and kissed her forehead gently. "I need to take care of you, Bella. That's what I want."

She sighed once more before she tugged my hand. "All that crying made me exhausted. Can we go to bed, just for a little bit?"

I stood up carefully pulling her with me and taking us to bed. I cuddled up beside her, kissing her forehead. "Baby, I'm sorry. I love you, okay?"

She pulled off her sweatshirt, and pulled me down onto the bed with her. "I love you too."

She hadn't said the words, and I hadn't been forgiven, but for now that was okay. All I needed was to be wrapped up in Bella, making up for the ways I had fucked up.

I'd spend the rest of my life doing that if that's what she needed. That's just how I loved her; as though there wasn't any one else in the world worth loving.

Funny.

In my opinion, there wasn't.

**BPOV**

_"I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN, I'LL FOLLOW YOU TIL YOU LOVE ME... PAPA... PAPPARAZI...." _I stirred hearing my cell blaring on my nightstand. I grumbled and rolled over, out of Edward's reach as I grabbed my phone.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

"BELLA! Thank GOD! Michael said you were out of the office today; I'm so glad you picked up!" I heard Francois voice exclaim quickly on the other end. I yawned, not trying to hide it. "Mhm, I was resting. What's up?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry to bother you but Macy's? They're trying to withdraw their offer in place with one less appealing. We need your expertise to figure out our next plan of action from here. Do we counter or do we take it as an insult and withdraw completely and contact H&M?" I sat up straight as his words filtered through the receiver.

"WHAT?! _Withdrawl!?_ Francois they were two seconds from giving you a hand job for Chanel to pick them, and now they want to REVISE their offer? NO!" I shouted, running my hand through my hair. I felt Edward shift and wrap his arms around my waist, nuzzling my hip bone. I moved my hand down to his scalp, massaging it as I tried to calm down.

"Francois, we finalized this deal. They can't do this; I won't let them." I said firmly. Francois gave me the low down on what had happened in his last conversation withe their representative and I kept shaking my head as he went on and on about how it just snowballed into a big mess. "Okay," I sad taking a breath. "Here's what we're going to do. What's the number for the VP of product distribution?" I took down the person's full name and number as he read it off to me. "Okay, I'm going to call him now. I'm sorry I wasn't in the office to handle this earlier - I had a rough weekend and needed a day to recover."

"Oh _rough_ weekend, huh? With the walking sex of a boyfriend perhaps?" He teased, lightening the mood. I shook my head, laughing a little. "No-- no, the complete opposite actually. But it's okay now." I said sighing and looking down at Edward. I could tell he was awake because his breath was less even as it fanned onto my thigh.

"Okay, well again I'm sorry for the disruption we just need to get this handled ASAP. I sent you about 500 e-mails the past hour so just ignore them." He said with a chuckle, seemingly calmer than when he first called.

"Okay, I'll look at those too before I call... Mr. Herman Winthrop." I scooted my butt over to the edge of the bed and out of Edward's arms once again as I walked towards the living room where my laptop was. "I'll call you back once I've spoken with him. Everything will work out because it's fucking balls that they're pulling this now." Francois laughed and agreed, giving me his cell phone in case I couldn't reach him at his desk number. I shut my phone and opened my laptop going through the e-mails that he'd sent regarding the issue, along with numbers that I needed to argue the case. I was taking down notes in a separate window for the phone call when I felt Edward's lips press into the top of my head.

"Hey." He murmured against my hair.

"Hi." I said, sighing as my eyes stared at the ROI chart and toggled back towards the wordpad file I'd opened for notes.

"What's going on?"

I let out a ragged breath and shook my head, "bullshit with everything I worked on in New York."

He pushed his nose into my hair and I leaned back against him. "Oh?"

"Yeah, it's just..." I bit my lip glancing between two charts that were supposed to reflect the same data and were in fact doing in opposite directions. "SHIT!" I shouted groaning as I pulled up the one I needed to fix and began typing frantically trying to correct the information. Once I had fixed the data I leaned against the back of the couch and felt Edward's chin rest on my head. "I'm sorry. I just thought everything had gotten settled before I left, and now this..."

"Baby, do you want me to go? You can take care of this, and I don't want to be in your way."

"No... no it's fine." I looked up and kissed his lips upside down. "I just need to make a phone call really quickly and tear someone a new asshole." I replied smiling sweetly against his lips.

"Okay." He replied, kissing my lips quickly before snapping his neck up. "I'll get coffee, then? Give you some privacy?"

I nodded. "Thanks baby." My eyes fixated back on the computer screen and I dialed the number to speak with Mr. Winthrop.

An hour went by before I walked out of my bedroom, beaming with victory. Edward, on the other hand looked upset and my face immediately fell as I walked around the sofa and sank into his lap where he was sitting in the recliner. "I'm sorry that took so long baby."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "It's already two; did you want to grab some lunch with me or did you need to get going?"

"Up to you, love. What do you have time for?" He asked, shrugging and picking up the old issue of People magazine that was sitting on the coffeetable

"I'm off today. That... thing, was just a blip. I'm all yours til you have to go." I replied kissing along his neck softly.

"I love you." He whispered, pulling me closer and burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"I love you too." I moved my head so we were at eye level. "So, how does ice cream for lunch sound to you? I'm craving it like nobody's business."

He nodded and grinned. "Okay, sounds good."

I smiled against his mouth before kissing him. "Favorite flavor?"

"Chocolate. You?"

"Pistacio."

"Do we have to go out though? Can we just run down to Walgreen's or something?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked furrowing my brows. Was he embarrassed to be seen with me in public now that he was back?

"I just... I don't want to be out there, and thinking about everything else. I just want to be with you. I... I hate having to share you, Bella, and it feels like the only time that you're really mine is when we're alone. I fucking hate that we have to hide." He sighed, echoing nothing but sadness. "I hate it."

"Everything else?" I asked, sitting up up his lap. "What do you mean?"

"_Everything,__Bella. All of it. Them and work, and life and Alice and my mother... oh, Alice wants you to call her, actually."_

I loved how it had turned from Tanya and James to a single entity stopping us from being together, _them_. I sighed and nodded. "Okay, just remind me to get her number from you later." I paused. "We don't have to go out though; I may have some frozen yogurt in the fridge."

He tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. "Just gimme a minute? You were right. I was busy, so I could avoid the ache, but now you're here and I just need you." I looped my arms around his neck and nodded as I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm here baby. I'm not going anywhere. Take as long as you want."

His lips grazed along my neck as he whispered, "I want us to have forever."

We sat there with me curled up in his lap for awhile before my stomach gurgled and I felt him laugh against my skin. We stood up and moseyed over to the kitchen where I made us a late lunch of champions: ice cream sundaes. We leaned against the island in the middle of my kitchen talking about random stories from college when I heard my phone ringing in the living room. I sighed, putting my bowl down and jogging over to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells." James' voice echoed on the other end. "James, you're up... early?" I said, forming it as more of a question. He chuckled "Yea, I just haven't slept well since Wednesday when I last saw you. I miss you Bells." I felt my heart rip and wished that what I was about to say wasn't a lie. "I miss you too."

"Have dinner with me tonight?" He asked sounding worried that I might shoot him down. I glanced over at the kitchen where Edward was. We hadn't discussed ending things, and a part of me worried that he had repaired things enough with Tanya in my absence to want to hold off on breaking up with her. "Don't you work tonight?" I asked, staring at the back of Edward's head. "Yeah, but I should have a break around 8. Can you meet me at the hospital? We could have a gourmet dinner of hospital jello and freshly thawed sandwiches." He joked, and I could hear his smile through the phone. I sighed and felt myself nodding. If Edward hadn't broached the subject with me yet, I was pretty certain he wouldn't be any time soon. "Okay, I'll meet you at 8."

"Great!" He said, sounding pleasantly surprised at my answer. "Love you Bella."

"Mhm, you too." I said before hanging up and walking back over to the kitchen. "Sorry about that." I replied picking my bowl back up and trying to eat the remnants of the ice cream that hadn't melted.

"Everything okay?"

"Mhm." I said scooping up the liquid ice cream in my spoon.

He nodded, staring down at his bowl. "So..."

"That was James." I spit out. Ugh, why did I feel _guilty _for talking to my boyfriend?

His eyes shot up to mine and his shoulders hunched over. "Oh."

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Yeah."

The room fell into an awkward quietness and I looked down at the tiled tabletop. "I love you, you know?" I said after the silence had gotten to be too much. "Like, more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone."

"I love you, too."

I saw his lips twist into a smile and I sighed to myself before moving to stand between him and the counter top. "You know what I think?"

He reached around, putting his bowl on the counter top behind me, before meeting my eyes. "What's that?"

"I think we should spend the rest of the afternoon pretending it's Sunday." I smirked.

"...But, James..."

"... isn't the person I _need_." I finished for him.

"You need me?" He asked, with an unsteady tone in his voice. My face fell at his question. I thought that was more than apparent with my earlier meltdown. I nodded moving my hand to cup his jaw and look him directly in the eyes. "Always."

His hands reached up to cup my cheeks and he stared into my eyes so intently, I wondered if he was trying to look through me. "Bella, you have no idea how much I need you. I may be shitty at showing it, but I need you. I need you."

I smiled, my lips gently brushing against his as my breath fanned over them and I whispered, "then show me."

**EPOV**

A few hours later, Bella pushed me out of her warm comfy bed and I started to head home when my phone began to vibrate. I snapped it open without looking.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Edward."

I sighed, "hey, Tanya. What's up?"

I heard her moving things in the background. "Can you stop home?"

"Uh, Baby, I was on my way."

"Okay, good. I'll see you when you get here." She said before hanging up. How freaking odd. Going into it, I wasn't nervous. I didn't feel like something big was about to happen, because honestly, the rest of my life was driving across town to the hospital to see her boyfriend. I should be going home to her. Maybe I could tonight.

I went up my front walk without trepidation or fear. Change was coming. And it felt good. "Tanya?" I called, stepping through the front door and moving toward the light in the living room. She was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, her hair pulled off of her face and her make up gone. She looked so much like the girl I fell in love with that it made my heart break.

"Hey," I said, kissing her forehead gently. Her hands came up and grabbed my face, "I need to talk to you about something."

I searched her eyes, but saw nothing. Completely closed off to me, just like always. I took a seat beside her and she began shuffling through papers, "I think we're a go for September 13."

I looked at her confused, "Go for what?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "To be married, dearest pie."

I literally fucking gaped at her. "You're joking."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Uh, no. That's when I can fit you in."

I scoffed, "Fit me in? Tanya, you're supposed to want this, you know. You aren't supposed to be able to 'fit it in'."

"Whatever, Edward, you know what I mean."

"Do I? Because I'm thinking that if you can only pencil me in, I don't want to do it."

Her eyes snapped up to mine and she looked at me coldly, "Edward Cullen, you take that back."

I took a deep breath, "Tanya, I think I'm taking something else back."

Her breath hitched uncomfortably, "Excuse me?"

I shook my head, "Tanya we're just not... we're not working out right now."

She blinked at me. "But we're seeing the counsellor. We're working on this."

I nodded, "We are, but I'm not too keen on planning a wedding when we're already trying to work things out. The foundation isn't steady, and I can't... I can't build my future on something that's unsure."

Her eyes were hard as she watched me like a snake in the grass. "Unsure? Edward, we've been together for seven years. No one else for SEVEN FUCKING YEARS! What about that sounds unsure?"

I ran my hand through my hair, and all I could think of was Bella. I was sure of her, and I was sure of her love. That was all I needed. "Look, I just think that we need to slow this down a little bit. I can't... I can't commit to this right now."

Her lips were in a tight pucker, "Can you ever?"

If Bella leaves me. "Once we're solid again."

She sighed, and her posture slumped slightly. "Okay."

I leaned in and cupped her cheek, "Hey... I'm not leaving you right now," But I want to. "And shit will work out, okay?"

"I just thought it would make you happy. I actually looked at my schedule so that we'd be able to go to Santiago for the Honeymoon while I'm at that conference thing I was telling you about. You always wanted to go to South America."

I sighed. She almost had me. Al-fucking-most. I sighed, "Yeah. But we can still go. It just won't be a honeymoon." Not much of one, anyway.

She nodded, "Your mother called, by the way. You should call her back."

"Okay, thanks babe." I moved away from her and into the kitchen to call my mother, breathing a sigh of relief on the way. It felt like a million pound weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I dialed my mother's number and waited.

"Esme Cullen." She said, warmly.

"Hey, Mom, it's Edward."

"Evening, Sweetheart! How are you?"

I laughed. "Fine, what's up?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to see my little boy. Could you come down and kiss your mother?"

"Yeah, Mom. I'll leave now. And I'm not so little."

She chuckled lightly into the phone, "You'll always be my little boy, Edward. No matter how old you are."

So apparently I got my over dramatic nature from her. "Okay, Mom. I'll see you in a few. Love you."

"Love you, too Darling!" She cooed, then clicked off. I settled the phone back into the cradle and went to tell Tanya where I was going.

"Babe? I'm going down to see my mom for a few."

She turned to look at me, "Oh?"

I nodded, shifting my weight. "Yeah. With all that time away, she just wants to see me."

She rolled her eyes, "How is old Ben?"

"Good. You know, Ben. A mile a minute."

"I hope you weren't a mile a minute in Vancouver."

No. Just in Seattle about two hours ago. "No way, Babe. We were just at the house, I promise."

She sighed, "It's okay. Whatever. Hey listen, can you do me a favor?"

"Hm?"

"Can you... can you spend the night at the studio? I have a ton of work to get through and I really don't need any distractions."

I let out a deep breath, "Yeah, that's fine. Call me in the morning okay? So that I know you're alright?"

She smiled softly at me, "Okay. I love you, Edward."

I smiled half-heartedly back at her. "Love you," BELLA! My mind screamed. "See you tomorrow, Honey."

And with that I was gone.

The drive to the hospital was uneventful, and I kept arguing with myself about calling Bella and asking her to spend the night. I was still thinking about it when I was walking through the hospital doors and saw my Bella.

My Bella.

My Bella, her arms wrapped around James, hands in his hair and lips on his.

I didn't know that one person's heart could hurt that much.

**BPOV**

I pulled away from James' lips and tried my best to smile. His lips were definitely not Edward's and didn't move as easily against mine. Plus, even 5 years later he still drooled a little through long kisses; was it really that hard to breathe through your nose?

Dinner had gone well; we hadn't fought and James hadn't brought up how pissed he was about my job picking up steam and my hours going haywire. He admitted that he felt bad about making my job seem inferior to his, even though his job was "saving lives" and mine was "wasting peoples time" - with commercials. I still hadn't corrected him; if after 3 years he didn't get that my job had nothing to do with TV ads then he wouldn't ever get it. He and I talked about spending more time together - his idea. He said with me being away he claimed to finally understand what I was going through with wanting more time together. He walked me back to the main entrance/exit and kissed me with gusto.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bells?" He asked brushing his thumb against the back of my neck. I nodded, pulling away slowly. "Yea, okay. I'll call you after work?"

"Okay, maybe we can meet for dinner again here on my break?" He asked looking at me wide eyed. I gave a half smile and nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"Love you Bella."

"Me too." I couldn't say the words anymore, not to him; not when I knew those words were only true when I said them to Edward.

I turned back and jogged through the parking lot in the rain towards my car. I squinted as I noticed something off and as I got closer the discrepancy got clearer. Fuck, a flat tire. I quickly got inside my car and dialed AAA. "Hello this is operator Harry, ID number 75903 how can I help you?"

"Yeah, I have a flat tire and need a tow truck?"

"Okay ma'am, let me just pull up your information..." he said as I gave him all of my insurance info. "Great, and are you in a safe situation?"

"Um, yeah. I'm in a parking lot at the hospital." I replied. I heard the clicking of his keyboard as he typed. "Okay, unfortunately since it's heavily raining we have multiple incidents before you so it may be awhile."

I groaned internally. "Okay, what's awhile?"

"Currently I'm showing a wait time of between two and two and a half hours." Ugh, I could probably walk home in less time than that; but fuck it was pouring out. "Oh, okay. I'll wait I guess."

He confirmed my location and I hung up, leaning my chair back and staring up at my roof, poking at the fabric. Wonder-fucking-ful.

After only twenty minutes (based on the time on my cell) I was growing restless and the car was getting stuffy. I decided to weather the storm literally, and wait outside for a bit.I threw on my brown peacoat and buttoned it up fully before stepping out and leaning against the hood of my car, shoving my hands into the pockets.

These were the days I wish I smoked cigarettes if for no other reason than to keep warm. My hair was practically soaking wet when I saw the hospital doors open and a familiar head of bronze hair stroll out. "EDWARD?!" I called out, standing up straight and quickly jogging over to him.

He looked taken a back at my advance and for a moment I wondered if Tanya was around.

"Hey." I said, grinning from ear to ear as we stood under the awning of the Emergency Room entrance.

He bit his lip, seemingly nervous and ran a stiff hand through his hair. "What's up? Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I pointed back towards my car and shrugged. "Flat tire, waiting on the tow truck." I paused before looking up at him. "Everything okay with you?"

He turned to look past me, to look at my car. "You want me to change it?"

I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. "I uh... don't keep a spare in my trunk."

"Oh. I think the one from the volvo will fit."

"It's okay. I called AAA; they should be here in an hour or two."

His brows furrowed together, and his face expressed concern. "That long?"

"Yea, unfortunately. The weather I guess has caused a lot of trouble on the road so they're pretty backed up." I shrugged. "It's fine though, wasn't like I had any plans for the rest of the night." I replied laughing a little.

"Bella, I can't leave you here." He stated, as if it were some universal truth. His body moved closer to mine and I smiled. "It's fine Edward. Really I'm okay, just bored."

He pulled away abruptly, glancing to his sides before hesitantly speaking. "Ah. I see. Okay... well, yeah. Um, so it was good seeing you. I'll... uh, call me when you get a moment."

I watched him pull away and grabbed my phone out of my pocket dialing his number. He reached for his phone positioning it between his ear and shoulder as he walked towards his car. "Hello?"

"I miss you already." I breathed into the phone.

I watched him stop dead in his tracks. "I miss you. Should I keep walking?"

"Yea, but turn around and walk in this direction instead."

He pivoted on his heels, facing me and still talking into the phone as his eyes met mine. "Is this okay? Are you sure?"

I began walking over to him, smiling and nodding my head as I closed my phone. I slowed down as I approached him my lips clenched in a scowl. "How dare you Mr. Cullen." I scolded playfully.

He smiled his infamous half grin. "How dare I what?"

"Walk away from me without a kiss goodbye." I whispered before sliding my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me and crashing my lips against his. I pulled my mouth away slowly, resting my forehead against his.

His breath was heavy against my face as he panted. "We can't do this here, love."

"I don't care Edward. Right now, I don't fucking care who sees me loving you." I pressed my lips against his slowly and delicately at first before sliding them against his with a bit more purpose. I would never get tired of these lips.

His arms snaked around me, pulling me closer to him. "I'm not getting married."He murmured into my hair.

I looked up at him. I must've heard wrong. "What?"

"We're still together... but I'm not getting married." He stated, sighing dejectedly. "I felt so much better about it before I actually said it out loud."

"Why?"

"Because it's not enough." He said, losening his grip and slowly backing away from me.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. "Edward, it's something." I smiled a little and kissed his cheek. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing. I got kicked out."

I pulled my neck back, shock written all over my face. "You what? But how? Isn't it like... _your _house?"

His head turned up and he looked at me quizzically. "I got kicked out."

"Um..." I laughed a little at the absurdity of it. How could Tanya kick him out of his own home? "But it's your house."

"It's her house, too. I got kicked out before... when I was at the Republic."He said with an apathetic shrug, like it was no big deal.

My eyes widened a little, and I took a breath. "Do you want to stay with me?"

He didn't say anything for a beat, and I was worried he'd say no. "I don't want to inconvenience you."He replied softly.

I smiled a little and cupped his jaw with one hand. "Edward, I love you; you are never an inconvenience."

He pushed his cheek into my hand, murmuring into my palm, "Let's go home."

"What about my car?"

"Do you want to wait? I can take you somewhere?"

"Yeah, I probably should. But I'll call and tell them to let me know when they're on their way so we can come back."

"Okay."

I took a few steps away from him and called back AAA to see if they could notify me when the driver was on his way. Fortunately the agreed and said it would be another 45 minutes to an hour. I snapped my phone shut and walked back over to him. "Ready?"

He wrapped his hand around mine, bringing it to his lips for a kiss and nodding.

**EPOV**

I sped back to Bella's apartment, and I made sure I was completely wrapped up in her as we made our way up the stairs.

"I think we need more time together, love." I whispered, pushing her down on the couch.

The smile that spread across her face was unbelievable. "I agree."

I crashed down on top of her, gasping as the heat from her body radiated into mine. "We haven't had a date in forever."

"Not since New York. Is it time for another?"

"I hope so." I said, kissing her softly.

"Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

I thought for a moment, nuzzling her neck with my face. "Wednesday?"

She sighed sadly against my cheek. "James is off Wednesday."

Yeah, I didn't see a problem. But apparently, Bella did so I went with it. "Oh. You name the day then."

"How about Thursday? After Dr. Carlisle's?"

"Yeah. Okay. That's a little..." I laughed, "a little ironic."

She pouted slightly, "Yea, I guess. Friday then?"

"Whenever you want, love." My breath hitched when memories of Bella from that morning pushed into my mind. "Really, whenever you want. I... I'm sorry again. For last week, I wasn't thinking."

She shook her head, running her hands over my back. "I know Edward. It was just a misunderstanding. But next time, if you're that busy, could you just like.. text me or something and let me know?"

I nodded, "Yes love." I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. "You should meet Ben, though. You'd... well, you'd get a laugh."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

I shook my head thoughtfully. "He's just... insane. To put it mildly." I collapsed on top of her, burying my face in between her breasts. "Do you put different perfume in here?"

She shook her head, running her fingers through my hair. "No, why?"

I nuzzled in between them, taking a deep breath. "You smell different here. Like Freesias."

"Maybe it's my shirt?" She wiggled around a little underneath me as she pulled off her top. "what about now?"

I trailed open mouth kisses over her skin, then over her covered nipples. "Still freesias."

Bella sighed, "Oh. Well then.." She whispered, "... i don't know why."

I kissed her one more time, then rested my cheek over her heart and listened to the beat. Solid and sure. I wish mine beat the same. "I love you, Bella. It's like I don't know how to do anything else."

She smiled down at me, her fingers once again tangled in my hair. "I love you too."

"Bella, there's nothing that you could do or say that would make me walk away from you." Fuck, the words were tumbling out.

She pushed her legs into mine. "I'm going to break up with James."

I felt my body freeze on top of her. Yes. "You are?"

She pressed her lips affectionatly to my hair. "Mhm. I mean, what's the point of dragging it out? I don't love him. I can't even pretend that I do anymore. When he says it I can't say it back, not even as a lie. I can't because I feel like if I said it, even as a lie to him that it would diminish the love I have for you, and it's worth when I say it to you knowing my entire being means it."

Guilt.

Pure fucking guilt was running through me, and I didn't know what to do. What a mess I'd made. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath again, "So today was about change?"

"Yea, and taking steps towards Edward and Bella being a forever." I felt her smile into my hair as she murmured, "To Edward and Bella Cullen."

Bella Cullen. Isabella Cullen. Mrs. Isabella Cullen. I sighed. She'd be mine forever. "I want that, you know. You have to realize how much I want that."

"And how much is that?" she asked.

I sighed again. How could she not see it? But then I remembered the way that she was this morning, and the fact that she was 'the other woman' and I knew why instantly. "Bella... I have nothing without you. Nothing. And so, it would almost be as if the moment you stopped loving me and being with me I would... cease to be. It would be as though I'd never existed."

She shifted up so that we were eye level with each other. "Well then you will exist forever Edward, because I'm never going to stop loving you and being right _here_ with you. You have me as long as you want me." She said, kissing me softly.

I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath. "Do you mean that? Really?" Please, please let her mean it.

"Of course I mean it. My life is a hollow shell without you beside me."

My face dropped back to her chest and I tried to hide how happy I was. But then I thought... why? I looked back up at her, moving to her lips. "You don't... you can't have any conception of how good it feels to have your love."

"Sure I do. It feels just as good as hearing you echo the sentiment. I love you." She pressed a kiss to my lips quickly, "I love you." Kiss. "I love you." she kissed me one final time, but this time left her lips hovering over mine.

"I love you, Bella." Words seemed inadequate, but they were all I had.

"Forever." She whispered.

Fuck, I hoped so. I really hoped that we could make it through everything and be okay at the end of the day.

But as long as Bella was with me and in my arms, I couldn't think about it. It was all too real and there was never anywhere else that I'd want to be.

Always with Bella.

Never without her.


	16. Chapter 16

Kellies, you know what I realized?

What Lala?

Loves you! :D  
Hahaha... awesome cover. So how about... this is the best fic ever? Cuz I kinda think it might be (with exception to TE, which is like... the holy grail of fanfic)

Okayyy, I'm worried about Kellies' sanity... anyone else? Def not SMeyer... who thought these guys up. :P

PSH! You make ONE comment about yams and all of a sudden your sanity's in question.... pffffffffft

I wasn't talking about that... cause I agree with the whole yam thing. Just the pimping of the TE... cause, like...  
It's the best thing ever? I mean really... BELLA FRIGGIN BROWNIE. REALLY!

Oh, god. You know what I love?  
Chicken? Nachos? Nerd boys with big protractors?

Lol, those things and a shit ton of reviews :)

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning to my alarm blaring loudly. It had been a long night between having to go meet the tow truck in the rain at nearly 11pm and then coming home and spending a few hours enjoying Edward. Not that I would ever complain about the latter. It just made 7am a bit less welcome.

Edward's body shifted with mine as I reached to shut off the alarm. His lips made their way across the back of my shoulder and along the nape of my neck. I relaxed into his touch and rubbed my hands against his arms that were wrapped around my waist.

"Mmm, morning." I whispered. His lips trailed over to the curve of my neck and I felt his teeth nibble my skin.

"Morning beautiful." He cooed softly. I sighed and turned around to face him. His lips immediately found my own and I looped my arms around his neck. Best way to wake up ever. After a couple minutes I pulled away reluctantly, before I started something that I didn't have time to follow through on. "I love you." I breathed as my lips trailed hot kisses along his jaw. His grip on my waist tightened and he let out a quiet moan. "I love you too." He murmured into my shoulder as we remained wrapped up in each other.

I sighed and unlatched myself from him, sliding out of bed and walking towards the bathroom to shower. I hated leaving a naked Edward in my bed. I showered quickly, wrapping a towel around my torso and heading into my room. My brows furrowed and I felt my stomach tighten as I noticed he wasn't there.

"Edward?" I called out as I moved down the hall towards the front of the house. I let out a heavy breath as I saw him standing in his boxers in my kitchen, his back to me. I moved to stand behind him, slipping my arms around his waist and pressing my cheek into his back. "I thought you left."

He laughed, holding up the pot of coffee he'd made. "Here I am." I kissed his shoulder blade and nodded my forehead against him. He put the coffee pot down and turned around slowly, peering down at me. "Well, what do we have here?"

My eyebrows creased, and I looked at him slightly confused. "What do you mean?" His hand slid between the edges of my towel and traced light lines against my skin. I shivered at the touch as he took it as a cue to yank the towel down letting it puddle at my feet. I could feet the heat building between my legs and glanced at the clock.

To hell with clocks and the concept of time. I needed my Edward.

His lips pressed against mine feverishly and he backed me up against the island, his hands massaging my breasts as he pushed his growing erection into my stomach.

"Fuck..." he breathed against my lips. I nodded and bit my lip turning around and jutting out my ass. "Edward please," I begged, turning my head around to look at him. I heard him growl and he shoved his boxers down quickly, thrusting into me in one quick motion.

"FUCK!" We screamed in unison as he wasted no time picking up his pace and slamming into me me harder than he ever had before. "Edward! Shit Oh god! God don't stop!" I moaned, gripping onto island's edge for support as he thrust into me faster. "Shit Bella, ungh... I'm already so close. Fuck, can you cum around my cock baby?" I felt his head drop to my back and his hot breath fanned over my spine. I whimpered as one hand left its place on my hip and slid around to my front, rubbing pressure-filled circles agaisnt my clit. "UNGH! EDWARD! EDWARD FUCK! I'm-I'm.... SHIIIIIIIIT!" I screamed as I felt my walls clamped down around his cock as I came hard around him. My grip didn't relent against him and after only one more thrust I felt him spill into me, slowly easing in and out as my pussy continued to milk him for all his worth. After our breaths had calmed, I turned to face him, kissing his lips softly. "Can that be our new morning routine?" I murmured against his lips with a smirk.

His lips pushed against mine quickly. "I'll like that, I think." He replied with a playful wink. I laughed softly, grinning "Oh, just think, huh?"

"Well, I haven't had you on the couch yet. That might be better. I'd also like to explore the widow seat." He said, pouting as if thinking of other locations we could test out.

"Oh, well... how about we just agree that neither one of us can start our days until you've spent time buried inside me?" I asked seriously, tilting my head to the side. His lips curved into a broad smile and he nodded in agreement. "Okay." I smiled widely and kissed his lips again before picking up the towel and walking back towards the bedroom to get dressed for the day.

To my surprise I made it to work with 10 minutes to spare. I closed the door of my office and sank into my chair, starting my computer. While waiting for it to boot up I flipped open my cell and sent a quick text to Edward.

**Love you. Forgot to ask, are you staying tonight too? (i hope so)**

I hit send and sighed, staring at my computer. How was I supposed to focus on work, when all I could think of was Edward?

**EPOV**

I hit send and waited as the phone rang. Bella needed to pick up. Now. I sighed when she didn't, but it made sense since she was at work. "Hey, Baby, it's me. I'll see what I can do about tonight, but I don't think I want to wait that long. Meet me for lunch? I love you."

I hung up and drummed my fingers against the steering wheel, waiting for the light to change. I couldn't believe that I'd fucked up so incredibly with Bella. If it wasn't bad enough that I loved her and needed her around me constantly, I was finding that those were the things that she wanted too. She seemed to need me just as badly as I needed her. I sighed, and turned into my parking space and moved slowly up to my studio. I'd let this go too far, and now I was unsure. I didn't know how to tell her, and I didn't want her to leave like I knew she would. She might make promises now, but once she found out about _them..._ my goose was cooked.

My phone began to vibrate, and I pulled it out just as I was walking through the door.

"Hey, Baby."

"Hey" She said sounding out of breath. "How's your day going so far?"

My brow furrowed, "Fine. You okay?"

"Ugh, yeah" She said, sounding like she was trying to move in two directions at once. "Just... everything is like crazy today. They have me starting with a new client before wrapping up with Chanel but Chanel is still having problems so I'm kind of freaking out about getting that handled by the launch date and.." She took a deep breath and I held mine. "And, I really want to have lunch with you but I don't think I'll have time."

My face dropped, and I tried to hide my dissappointment. "Oh. Okay. That's fine." No. No. No. No. "Did you... I mean, did you still want to see me later?"

She laughed lightly, "Duh. I need my Edward." She paused for a moment. "Fuck! I just remembered; I'm supposed to have dinner with James at the hospital tonight." She huffed slightly. "Can I swing by after work, or after dinner? Are you going to come home tonight or back to Tanya's?"

I looked down at the prints scattered across my work space and pulled out one of Bella looking out the window and into the distance. I loved her so. "It's up to you, love. If you don't have time that's okay. We'll catch up later." I was beginning to feel the ache move back into my chest as I thought of being alone without Bella. This must have been what she'd felt last week. Fuck.

"Are you sure? Will I see you at home later or are you going back to Tanya's tonight?"

I smiled a little at the thought of Bella's apartment being my home. But it was, wasn't it? "Love, I don't want to be in your way--"

"Stop right there. You're never in my way. I want you home, if you can be." She said, adamantly. He voice dropped to a somber whisper. "It's not the same without you there; it's not a home without you."

I kept my eyes trained on her image. "Baby, home is wherever you are."

"I know, for me too." She said, stopping her train of thought. When she started up again, she sounded worried. "So, will you be home tonight?"

I laughed softly. "Yeah. What time will you be there?"

"Dinner's at 8, so I'm hoping to be back by 9-9:30ish. Is that okay?"

"Uh huh. I'll meet you there."

She sighed contentedly. "I've got to get back to the madness, but I love you. Thanks for understanding and being so amazing."

She hung up and I just kind of stared at the phone for a minute. I felt like I was losing her, just like I'd lost Tanya. She was getting tired of me, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Fuck. I dialed again.

"Ben!"

He laughed into the phone, sounding semi lethargic. "Hey, Man. What's up?"

"You free for lunch?"

"Unfortunately not. I met... uh... Cindy?"

I raised an eyebrow and put Bella back on the table. "You don't sound too sure of that."

he sounded apprehensive, "That's because I'm not. Everything okay over there?"

I sighed, "Yeah."

"Is it Tanya?"

I laughed, "No."

He hesitated slightly, "Edward... don't take this the wrong way but... are you seeing someone else?"

I stopped dead, "How did you know?"

He let out a heavy sigh, "I haven't see you this happy in years, dude. Fucking years. So? Who is she?"

"Bella," I breathed. "She's amazing, Ben. She's... she's everything."

"Did you like... grow a pussy or some shit? I just wanted to know if she has good tits."

I rolled my eyes. "She has perfect tits."

"Good. When do I meet them?"

"You meet her. You will not be any closer to her tits than necessary."

He chuckled into the phone. "Party pooper. You gonna leave Tanya for this chick?"

"I hope to."

Ben scoffed, "What does that mean?"

"It's complicated... I'm not sure if she'll still want me after a while."

"Why not?"

"Because she's perfect, and I'm a miserable shit fuck."

"You are not. So what's the ish? Do you have a third ball or something?"

"Uh, no. I'm keeping something big from her, is all."

His voice dropped and went serious. "Not Tanya, I hope."

I shook my head, "No. No. The thing is, Bella's boyfriend is sleeping with Tanya. I caught them and I haven't told her."

"Dude... why the fuck not?"

"Because it wasn't supposed to turn into this! I wasn't supposed to see her again after that first night, and now I'm in love with her! Do you have--"

"WHOA! WAIT UP! YOU LOVE HER?!"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Yes. I love her more than I thought I could."

"Pussy."

"Truth. I need her."

"Then be with her, idiot. C'mon now."

I sighed, "I know. But I think I just need to give it time. I think she's getting tired of me, anyway."

"Shit, dude. I'm sorry."

I shrugged, "It's okay. Shit happens."

Ben groaned, "Yeah. I know. I hope this works out for you."

"Yeah, me too. Hey you're coming to Max's party next weekend right?"

"Mhm. Alice would slaughter me if I didn't. I'll be there for the barbeque Friday."

"Cool. Listen, we'll catch up this week?"

"Alright man, sounds good. Later."

"Bye," I said, hanging up and slumping back on the sofa.

I couldn't lose my Bella.

I just couldn't.

**BPOV**

The rest of the week sped by. James had blown me off Tuesday night and not had the decency to call and tell me until I had been there for over half an hour. Then I came home to Edward who looked so torn up, it made me physically hurt. Wednesday hadn't been much better, with James and I fighting during the 10 minutes I took for lunch and swearing up and down that I was batshit crazy; the only ray of sunshine during my day were text messages between Edward and I towards the late evening when I texted him asking if we could change our plans and move to a desolate island instead of new york. His immediate response brought a smile to my face: "of course love, just give me 10 minutes to throw clothes and my camera in a bag this time."

Thursday was even worse. I got stuck at work and wasn't able to meet Edward for lunch which made me that much closer to walking out of my job; nor was I able to meet James for therapy, which _infuriated _him. And for the first time in a long time, I didn't try and argue it. Work was driving me to the breaking point. I was going in at 6am and not leaving til close to 9, sometimes 10 that night. I really just should have bought a cot and slept in my office; but I was holding out hope that it would get better.

It was finally Friday and shit was still insane. I had gotten in an extra half hour early - at 5:30, with the hopes of being able to take a lunch and stop by Edward's. I needed him; I hadn't seen him since Tuesday night and even after a night with him it wasn't enough to sustain me through Friday. I had wrapped up my last morning meeting and walked with purpose into my office, slamming it shut.

I sank into my chair, kicking off my heels and dialing his number from my work phone.

"Cullen."

"Edward." I breathed into the phone, closing my eyes at the sound of his voice. "Hey, it's Bella."

He laughed softly, as if my greeting was completely unnecessary. "Hi Bella."

"Hey, how's your day going?"

"Okay. I'm going across town for a shoot. How's life?"

"Chaotic." I glanced at the clock, sliding on my flip flops. "Have you already left?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh." I couldn't mask the dissapointment in my voice. "I was going to surprise you and bring lunch."

"Shit, sorry Baby. Maybe dinner tonight? I'll get your favorite."

"Yeah, okay. That sounds good. Your place or mine?" I asked. It had been four days and it just felt like this huge distance had developed overnight. I really hoped I was reading into it, and just seeing it because I was under so much stress at work, but I couldn't help but feel the pangs of worry seep into my conscious.

"Where ever. What's easiest?"

"Doesn't matter. Which is closer to your shoot this afternoon?" I asked, turning back to my computer and opening Outlook.

"Baby, I don't care. I want to see you."

"Your place then. I'll just head over after work. Cool?" God he knew how stressed out I was, why couldn't _he _make the decision? Ugh.

"Yeah. What time? It's like you're there all the time now a-days."

I huffed and shook my head. "Yeah, well it's not like I _plan _to be here this late. You know what? Forget it." I bit my lip. Why the fuck couldn't he be more understanding? He knew I was hating this and completely stretched to the limit and yet it was like he couldn't help but shove it in my face. It wasn't like I needed a big neon sign pointing to me saying BAD GIRLFRIEND - WORKS TOO MUCH; I already knew that's what I'd been the past week.

I sighed again and heard my voice crack as I spoke, "Just forget it. I'll... I'll talk to you later." I replied shutting off my phone before I could give him a chance to respond.

Five hours later, it was nearing six and I was still at work, plugging away at a market analysis for the new client I had taken on when my phone rattled on my desk.

"Bella Swan." I answered, not checking the caller ID beforehand.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?!" I heard a faintly familiar voice echo.

"Um, I'm sorry?"

"Damn straight you are! Now what's your reasoning? My brother DID give you my number right?" And that was when it clicked. Alice. I laughed lightly and shook my head even though she couldn't see. "Afraid that slipped both our minds; I'm sorry."

She huffed, but I could hear a smile on the other end. "Bygones and all that. So! How is my new best friend?" I couldn't help but laugh. "New best friend?"

"Mhm. Didn't Edward pass on that memo either? Jesus, he needs a _real _personal assistant. Why do you think I let you have the hermes? Do you think I'd give it to just ANYONE he was dating?" She asked rhetorically. Shit the purse.

"Oh my god Alice!" I remembered. "Thank you SO much for the purse. It was like... way too much. Are you sure you don't want it back?"

"Pish. No, plus to be honest I'm kinda over reds right now; the color makes my stomach tumble thanks to the little one inside. I can't believe it's already #2. I think Jasper's going to have to get a little snip-snip soon before we end up the next Jon and Kate Plus 8." She said, giggling. I laughed quietly and we began talking about her experiences with childbirth.

Mid conversation was when it hit me - when was my last period? My heard started racing as I tried counting back to the last time I was out of commission with a pint of ice cream and heating pad. I couldn't remember.

"... and then I was trying to tell Jazz to just throw it in the diaper genie but he --"

"Alice sorry to cut you off but something just came up and I gotta run."

"Oh, okay... is everything all right?" She asked sounding concerned.

"Mhm. I just; I really have to go. I'll call you later at this number since it's in my phone, okay?"

"Okay sweetie talk to you soon!" She replied and I heard her click off the line.

Fuck. I scoured through my outlook, and counted back the dates since around the last time I had my period.

.... shit.

**EPOV**

**Good fucking lord. You make a simple fucking statement, and it gets blown completely out of proportion. I couldn't believe she fucking hung up on me. What the hell was that? I tired calling her back, but her line was busy. Figures. I tried again after I was leaving my shoot. She was probably still at work anyway.**

**"Bella Swan," She answered.**

**"Bella Swan? It's Edward Cullen."**

"Hi?"

She could at least pretend that she missed me. Even a little. I sighed, "How are you?"

"Frazzled beyond comprehension and ready to cry if I have to work these hours for much longer." She replied, sounding like a shell of her former self. "How're you? How was the shoot?"

My brow furrowed as I went through the lights. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not; not yet at least. It's just been the week from hell and I miss you and I can't even get the timing of us right."

"What do you mean? Bella, you can still come over if you want." What was she thinking exactly?

"No, it's okay. I'm going to be here awhile and don't want to bother you too late. This is just like... never ending." She took a deep breath. "Oh, I talked to Alice today."

I frowned into the phone. There was a time when she wouldn't care what time it was, she'd come to me. But now... now I was just... a burden? "Oh."

"Yeah, she may or may not yell at you for forgetting to to give me her number..." She said, laughing.

"Oh."

"Okay I can't do this anymore." I heard her laptop click closed and she began to move.

My heart sank to my feet, and felt my breath catch in my throat. This was the end. I was in my parking space in the garage and Bella was leaving me. Shit. "Ah..." I breathed, but I didn't think she noticed.

"Yeah, I'm burnt out from staring at documents and charts all day." She breathed, "Can I come over? I miss you like... insurmountable amounts."

I slumped back in my seat, laughing to myself. "Shit, Bella! Don't scare me like that! Get your ass over here!"

"What? You thought...I.... just now..." She said. I could almost feel the laughter shaking her body.

I stiffened, pouting into the phone. "It's not funny."

"I know you're right... but really? Not even a little funny? Come on, it's a _little _funny." She teased.

"No."

"Are you still on your way to the studio or are you back, because I'm about a block and a half away. Apparently flip flops and a need to see you make me quick on my feet."

I laughed, "I'm in the car, love. I"ll meet you outside?"

"Okay."

I hung up the phone and moved to the sidewalk, where I looked for Bella. I smiled to myself when I saw her. I couldn't believe how much I'd missed her. I held my arms out to her, and she was in them in a flash, pushing her face into the crook of my neck. "Bella... Bella... Bella... I love you."

Her arms wound tightly around my body. "God, you just...I love you."

It felt so good to have her in my arms again, and all of the hurt and pain I'd felt seemed to disappear. "How long do I get you for?" I didn't want to let her go. I didn't feel like I could.

"Is all weekend a good start?"

I nodded into her hair. "It's a start. I missed you, Bella."

She looked up at me, a huge smile playing on her lips and kissed me. "You have no idea."

I smirked down at her, "Should we go inside?"

She nodded, pressing her lips to mine as her legs wrapped around my waist. "Ready when you are."

"Ready," I replied, walking us toward the building. I was always ready for my girl.

**BPOV**

The weekend with Edward went by too quickly. I contemplated telling him the potential baby-news but I was selfish and needed one last good weekend with him before shit hit the fan.

My work week was once again utter chaos and while I saw James twice that week for dinner, neither time was for very long and I wound up having to bail on therapy Thursday night due to a deadline we had to make before the holiday weekend. Coupled with the potential baby-news, of which I'd been too scared to face the music and just take a pregnancy test already, the week was utter failure. The one shining spot was the 3day weekend; Friday through Sunday off, being spent with Edward and his family at their Lake house.

It wasn't until I pulled into my parking spot at nearly 11pm that I realized I hadn't confirmed logistics with Edward. As I opened the door to my apartment I threw my purse onto the couch and kicked off my shoes dialing his number.

"Hey." He said sounding distant.

"Hey Edward I was just calling to see about tomorrow. Are we taking your car or mine?"

He coughed, clearing his throat and sniffling. It was all very robotic and bizarre. His voice dropped a few octaves as he announced rather aloofly, "Yeah, we'll see you up there."

We'll? What? And then it dawned on me, _Tanya was going_. Obviously; she was his girlfriend/fiance after all. My voice dropped to barely over a whisper, though I had no idea why. "Should I... not go? Would that be better?"

There was a brief silence and I wondered if he was still there. Then I heard a door close in the distance and his voice returned, albeit just above a whisper. "You have to. Please. I need to see you."

"Edward I don't want this to be a bad situation for you. I can wait for you if you want. I'll just make up something to tell Alice."

"Do you have to work?" He asked, his voice was strained and he sounded like he was in pain just from the idea.

"No. I made sure that I had the weekend completely free." I replied. How could he think I would blow off something that meant this much to everyone he cared about?

"Then, Please? Please, Bella. I need you. I miss you so much. Please." He begged, his voice pleading with me and I knew I could never say no to him.

"Okay." I replied feeling a little defeated. Part of me was worried about him dealing with both Tanya and I being there but the other part, selfish Bella, worried about having to see Edward and Tanya interact face to face. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Love you."

"I love you. I'll see you up there?"

"Yeah. Night Edward." I replied sadly, hanging up the phone and staring at it a moment. Fan fucking tastic. Fireworks for the 4th, _indeed._

The next morning I printed out directions to Alice and Jasper's summer house and took off at the ass crack of 5am to ensure I'd be there by 9 as requested.

"BELLA!" Alice greeted, running out in a bright orange sundress and matching flip flops. "You came and you're on time!" She continued as she wrapped her arms around me. I hugged back as much as I could considering her growing baby bump. Jasper was waiting in the doorway and I gave a short wave. "You look beautiful!" She said holding out my arms and looking at my jungle green tube top sundress that came just above my mid thigh with my navy bikini strings poking out and wrapping around my neck. "I can't wait to get my figure back and not look like an oompa loompa." She lamented, following me to the back of my car.

"Oh, hunny! Come help Bella with her things." Alice yelled over her shoulder as I popped my truck and pulled out a few packages of wrapped presents for Max and my duffle bag. Jasper managed to grab everything, duffle bag included and headed inside ahead of us. Her arm wrapped around mine as we strolled from the driveway and I noticed Edward's volvo parked a few houses down. I heard Alice sigh and immediately moved to look at her.

"You okay?"

She looked up at me and smiled a little "Yeah, I just can't believe of all the family events _she_ chooses to attend the one that you've been invited to."

I let out a puff of air, laughing quietly. "Well they _are _together."

"That doesn't make her welcomed." Alice snipped. "I didn't even put her name on the formal invite I sent to Edward; she just _assumed_." She continued to huff as we walked through the door. I followed her down a few steps and through the brightly lit living room, to the sliding door.

"Look who's here!" She announced stepping through the door frame as I followed close behind. My eyes immediately went to Edward's deep green eyes as I glanced to his left where Tanya was sitting happily on his lap.

I did my best to smile and gave a short wave as I forced myself to look away as I was introduced to Rosalie, Edward and Jasper's sister. I gave a nod and smile.

"And THIS big buffoon of venereal disease is Ben - Edward's best friend from college and suspected lover." Alice chided motioning to the tall dark brown hair man lounging in the seat across from Edward.

"And you are?" He asked smiling broadly, almost _too _happily.

I smirked, getting the feeling that he knew _exactly _who I was. I took a few steps closer to him and extended my hand. "I'm Bella, Edward's _assistant_."

He took my hand placing a kiss on the back of it giving me a wink as he looked up at me through his eyelashes. "Pleasure to meet you Bella."

I nodded and pulled my hand away, laughing to my self. "You too Ben."

**EPOV**

I was frozen with Tanya on my lap as I watched Bella and Ben. How the hell did this happen? I groaned softly, and Tanya's arm came up to run through my hair. "Baby, you okay?"

My eyes painfully tore from Bella, "Yeah. I just need to go to the bathroom." I shifted Tanya off of my lap and breezed past them, locking the door behind me. This couldn't happen. I couldn't let this get to me. I wanted Bella here, and I knew it would be tricky with Tanya in the vicinity but I never anticipated the complication that Tanya would bring. I took one last deep breath before heading out to the living room completely unprepared.

"I'm just saying, Alice. Our decorator works miracles." Tanya was saying as she inspected her nails.

Alice's lips were pursed in a tight line, "Like I said, we're just fine Thank You."

Tanya's eyes went wide once she saw me, and I stifled a groan. "I was only trying to help."

Alice rolled her eyes and leaned into Jasper. "Yeah, like hell."

I saw Tanya's lip quiver dramatically and she rushed out of the room. Alice looked at me, quirking an eyebrow. "Well? Go after your girl, Edward."

My eyes shot to Bella, but she had her face turned into Ben and they looked quite cozy. Wonderful. I sighed and followed Tanya outside. "Tanya!" I called as I got to the drive way. She stopped and turned to me, her eyes cold and hard.

"I don't need that shit, Edward! Not from some hormonal whale!"

"Hey, she's carrying my future niece or nephew, so watch what you say."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Edward. Get your stuff."

She turned away from me and I grabbed her wrist to pull her back, "What?"

"We're leaving. Now."

I looked at her like she was an idiot. "What are you talking about?"

"Edward, you cannot expect me to stay here after that. Especially with _her_."

I leaned into her, "Listen, I'm here for my nephew's second birthday. You can go if you want, but I'm staying."

She didn't even blink. "Keys." She held out her hand expectantly.

I gave her the keys to the volvo, and I watched as she hesitated then smashed her lips to mine. They moved mechanically and almost painfully. I hated this, and that I hadn't kissed Bella in nearly a week. She was probably making out with Ben as we spoke. She pulled away, "Don't be stupid, Edward. No one will ever mean more to you than me."

She turned and walked away as I shook my head. Someone did: Bella.


	17. Chapter 17

sooooooo we're posting again. like... multiple times in a week now.

Pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. I'm excited for this though... shit's getting rolling  
mhm... too bad the lady that owns these characters, Ms. SMeyer, wouldn't approve of what we're putting them through

No, she wouldn't. She'd prolly fade to black a shit ton, were she writing this. Which she isn't. :P  
Can we get a HALLELUJA then?

HALLELUJA!  
Not from us silly... from THEM *points*

Oh, right... HEY YOU! SAY THAT! and review a shit ton... cause we live and breath for that shit :)

* * *

**BPOV**

"I'm still not sure _why _you got the Sao Paulo chief of police to believe you were from the Himalayas..." I replied, laughing hysterically as he told me how he narrowly missed being detained for illegally entering Brazil. I was doing everything I could not to follow Edward out there, not to check in on him and Ben was providing much needed comic relief.

Ben smacked his lips, waving his can of soda in the air. "It's all about delivery my sweet. You can get people to do whatever you want as long as you say it right."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "Right. So where did you go from there? Did you run an underground drug mafia out of Chile?"

He shook his head quickly, laughing as he tried to sip his soda. "No. That was about the time I came back here. Edward and I flew down to Wellington. It's the extreme sports capital of the world, Bellista."

I smirked, feeling a hand on my shoulder and the familiar heat course through my body. I didn't have to look up to know who it was but I did anyway. I smirked looking up at Edward then back to Ben. "Welcome back. Ben here was just telling me about how you and he flew down to Wellington for extreme sports?" I looked back at Ben. "So did you go to observe or particip--"

"Why are you telling her about that?" He asked gruffly, his jaw clenched in a scowl.

Ben glanced at him, quirking a brow and leaning back in his chair. "Chill, Teddy it just came up."

"Whatever." He said sounding fed up, as he sank into the seat beside Jasper.

I looked back from Ben to Edward and back again. "Why doesn't Edward want you telling me the story?"

He chuckled softly nodding his head towards Edward. "Ask him how drunk he was while we were sky diving."

Edward stood there completely stiff, shooting daggars in Ben's direction. Whatever the story behind their skydiving trip was it was obviously it wasn't one of Edward's proudest moments.

"Well that's not going to top how drunk Bella and I are gonna get on girls night once the little one is popped out!" Alice blurted as she plopped in Jasper's lap. I looked at her and laughed. "Can moms get drunk? Is that even allowed?"

She sat up a little with Jasper's help and nodded. "Hell yea, one last horrah once I'm done breastfeeding. You and I will make a killing getting guys to buy us drinks! With my pep and your body... we'll be like, unstoppable." She went on, giggling. "I guarantee you'll have at _least _a dozen guys trying to take you home and to bed." She went on, casting a sideways glance at Edward who had his jaw clenched and was shooting death glares in her direction.

"I'd like to reserve my spot right now." Ben replied raising his hand and shooting me another wink. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

His body shifted towards Jasper and his jaw was set as he asked, "Do you have your golf clubs here?"

Jasper pulled his head back and looked at him, confused. "No, they're at the house. Why?"

"Just wondering." He said, taking an exaggerated breath before standing and walking back inside the house.

I glanced looking from Jasper towards the door where Edward walked through and back to Ben, biting my lip. "Alice, I think I'm gonna go look for my room. Is that okay? Do you need anything?" She turned to me and smiled broadly. "No, we're fine here just.. be quiet if you can, Max is sleeping in the first bedroom to your left." She replied pointing to the baby monitor on the side table beside where she and Jasper were sitting. I nodded and stood, walking through the sliding door. My head turned left to right and I saw Edward walking down the hall. I jogged to catch up to him, grabbing his wrist.

"Hey, you okay?" I whispered with a hushed voice.

He spun around pushing me into his chest, murmuring into my hair. "I love you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer and laughing softly. "I love you too. But again," I replied pulling away to look at him. "Are you okay?"

His vivid green eyes stared directly into mine as he spoke. "I don't like you with other people."

I couldn't help but laugh a little, looking up at him. "You don't?"

"No. Can we go home?"

"No. We have your nephew's birthday party remember?" I brought my hand up to cup his jaw, and rubbed his cheek with my thumb. "Why don't you like me with other people? Did I say something?"

He sighed, pulling me closer and rubbing his cheek against my head. "Do you know why I was drunk in Wellington?"

I shook my head against him. "No, why?"

"Because that story... is embarrassing and stupid." He paused, pulling himself back and glancing towards the closed bedroom door to his left. "And I hope you don't think less of me because of it."

"Not possible. I love you unconditionally." I said, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

His eyes shut slowly and he shook his head as if clearing something from memory. "Can we just... start over? Do this again?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, searching his face for an explanation. Did he want to take back the I love yous, the sex, all of it?

"I wanna go back in there and be okay. Not upset because Ben's trying to charm the panties off of you or because whatsherface has declared war on all things Alice."

I bit back a laugh at his reference to his girlfriend as 'whatsherface'. "Edward, look at me." His eyes flickered open and he just looked completely exhausted. "For one, I am yours, no one else's okay? So Ben could do a fire dance and walk on the water in the pool back there and I'd still be yours." I took a breath before continuing, trying to figure out the best way to phrase my next statement.

"And... as for Tanya; I'm sorry that it's such a struggle for her to get along with Alice. But this is Alice's weekend. This is what she has planned for her and her family - which includes you - for months now. I know it's hard but try and remember that, try and celebrate Alice for being the strong woman she is - about to have another child, and enjoy your nephew who is down the hall sleeping away his infancy."

I smiled warmly moving closer to him. "And remember all of it, all of the negativity all of the bad feelings may resurface later, but right now it's a weekend to celebrate and enjoy your family, okay?"

**EPOV**

I looked into her deep brown eyes and I found myself wondering how she could calm me down so easily. I sighed, and lent my forehead to hers, "I need you more than you could ever know."

Bella smiled, "And you have me."

I nodded, kissing the tip of her nose as I cupped her face in my hands. "I'm sorry for acting so terribly."

"You didn't; I was just worried."

I laughed sadly, running my thumbs over her cheeks. "I didn't even say 'hello' to you."

She smiled as she leaned up and kissed me softly. "Hi baby."

"Hey. How was the drive? Are you okay? I haven't seen you in days."

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm good; the drive was good." She paused and I could almost see the thoughts acing through her mind. "Later this weekend, once all of the celebrations are over do you think we could talk? There's something I want to run by you."

My brow furrowed and I pulled away a little bit to look at her, "Talk to me now. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just want to enjoy this weekend okay?" She replied, giving me a half- hearted smile.

"Baby, talk to me. What is it?" Was this it? Was this... it?

She moved her eyes to the ground, and her words were coming out jumbled as her voice quivered. "I-I'm really sorry... I know this is all my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you... I shouldn't have let this..."

My breathing picked up and my mind was racing. She couldn't go... I couldn't let her go... "Bella?" Don't go... please don't leave me.

Her watery eyes came back up to mine, and she shook her head, "Edward... I'm so sorry, if I had been... if we..." She closed her eyes and I watched a lone tear roll down her cheek.

I felt my eyes getting wet, but I couldn't find my voice. I leaned in and pressed a shaky kiss to her forehead. I loved her. I couldn't be without her.

She let out a deep breath before she spoke, "Edward, I think we're pregnant."

Pregnant.

Bella was pregnant.

A baby?

A baby.

Her baby and it was... mine. It was ours. "You... pregnant?"

She nodded carefully, her eyes trained on the ground. "I think so."

"A baby..." I murmured, running my thumbs over her cheek bones and feeling the smile creep across my face. "We're having a baby?"

Her breath hitched, and her eyes snapped shut. "I--I'm so sorry Edward. I should have been more careful, like you wanted us to be. I'm so, so sorry."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her up into me, burying my face in her shoulder. "Bella, I'm so proud that you're having my baby."

"Proud?" She pulled away a little, watching me skeptically. "You... you're _proud_?"

I was confused all of a sudden, "Well, it's mine right?"

She laughed softly and nodded, "You're the only one I've ever been with without a condom."

"Then I'm so proud. Bella, you're having my _baby_." This was it; this was what we needed. That extra push to show us the way.

She smiled, but I could tell she was still apprehensive. "You, you're really okay with this Edward?"

I kept one arm securely wrapped around her waist as my free hand came up to cup her cheek. "Bella, this is the best gift that anyone's ever given me. Okay doesn't begin to describe how I feel about our baby." I laughed, and smiled at her softly. "You're having my baby."

She smiled, and I watched the blush creep up her cheeks as she moved my hand over her abdomen. "I can't believe you're taking this so well." She said, laughing sadly. "I half expected you to break up with me on the spot."

I rubbed circles over her stomach. "Bella, I love you. And we talked about this. I meant it when I said I wanted you to have my children."

"Yeah I just didn't think... with the timing... I thought that was something we were planning for our future, not our present."

I leaned in and kissed her. "I wanted them with you. I didn't care when. I still don't. I love you, Bella. Thank you so much."

She kissed me, laughing against my lips. "You're thanking me for me getting knocked up by accident?"

I kissed her softly, my lips hovering above hers. "I'm thanking you for being the love of my life and the mother of my children. Bella, this is the greatest gift anyone will ever give me."

"It's not for certain. I haven't even taken a test." She hesitated for a moment, "I've been kinda freaked out about telling anyone, especially you."

I nodded, "Bella... I love you. Nothing will ever change that. You can tell me anything." Hypocrite.

She kissed me softly and reassuringly. "You too. You know that right? You can tell me anything. If you're worried or scared about this... I'm here, okay?"

I sighed, leaning my forehead to hers. I was worried and scared about other shit, but not Bella being pregnant. It felt right. "Bella, this is perfect. Absolutely perfect. We should tell them."

She giggled, "Who?"

I kissed the apples of her cheeks, "Them. Over there."

"So Rose and Ben know about us too?"

"Ooo, Not Rose." I realized. "Shit. Baby... do you... do you think this means that we're... doing this?" I watched her carefully as I waited for a response.

"I hate to break it to you but I think it means we've already _done it_." The smile that spread across her face put Julia Roberts to shame.

I smiled, nuzzling her face with mine. "You're mine, Bella. You're really mine."

"I've always been and always will be." She murmured with a kiss. "How could you have ever doubted that?"

I shook my head, kissing her back. "I never did. But this... our child... cements it. Bella, this is us having a baby. You can't... you can't understand how happy I am right now." It was true. My heart was so swollen with love for her and our unborn child that I thought it would burst.

She took my hand and nodded back toward the patio. "Come on, let's go back out there for a bit, kay? We have the rest of our lives to talk about our baby."

I smiled and let her lead me back outside.

Our Baby.

She was having Our Baby.

**BPOV**

That went better than I ever could have imagined. Not only had he not gone screaming for the hills (and back to Tanya) but he seemed genuinely okay with it - even _happy_ about it.

We walked back outside to where everyone had meandered from the deck down the few steps to the grassy backyard and pool. Edwards hands were on my shoulders rubbing them affectionately as we made our way over to everyone.

"Bella! What took you so long? Did you get lost?" Alice asked, sitting up quickly for someone in her second trimester. I laughed and shook my head stopping abruptly, and feeling Edward bump into my back lightly. I smiled and turned, looking to the sides. Rosalie was no where to be seen.

"Um, actually I got lost. Edward found me." I replied.

"I _bet _he did." Ben snipped, looking up from the grill where he and Jasper were hovering like cavemen with a Cheshire grin.

I glanced over at Edward who had rolled his eyes and was shaking his head. "You have no tact, do you?"

"I'm crushed." Ben pounded his fist against his chest. "It's like, you don't even know me."

"Oh, I know you." His body inched closer to mine as he pointed to fingers at his eyes then at Ben. "I'm watching you."

I watched the exchange between them somewhat awkwardly, before turning to Alice. "Where's Rose?" Her hand waved dismissively and she shook her head. "Apparently little miss dietician needed flax seed something or other and some kind of veggie patty scramble hash whatever because she was in a 'third cycle' or something." She responded, rolling her eyes. "Hippie dippie bullshit. She eats cows whole when no one's looking I bet." She continued, scoffing as she rubbed her stomach. I smiled at her gesture and felt myself mimicking the motion on my own stomach. Her eyes flickered up to mine and I immediately stopped my movement, but not before she raised a brow giving me a knowing look.

"What's this about Rose being gone?" Edward pipped up wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I sighed and leaned back against him.

"Yeah, Rose just left to do grocery shopping for herself since we're all meat-eating, processed food chewing heathens." Alice repeated, walking over to Ben and plopping down in a cushioned lawn chair.

I felt his lips brush again my ear as he whispered, "Do you want to?"

I turned my face to his and kisses his lips nodding slowly. "You tell them." I replied quietly against his mouth.

He nodded, standing up straighter and smiling brighter than I've ever seen him grin before. "We're having a baby."

Jasper's head spun around so fast I thought it was going to pop off. When I turned to look at Alice her eyes were wide but her smile even bigger. Ben just looked... disappointed?

"You're WHAT?!" Jasper asked tilting his ear towards us.

"Uh... pregnant?"

"Like, a baby?"

He rolled his eyes, laughing dryly. "Well, that's questionable. After all, it is my spawn." He said placing a firm kiss into my hair.

Jasper's eyes shot from him to me and back as he rubbed his neck. "Together?"

Edward turned his head, raising his eyebrows giving him a pointed look. "Yes..."

Jasper's posture relaxed and he exhaled. "Great. That means you've told her everything right?"

What? Everything? I turned my face towards his and saw Edward's eyes widen just enough to notice. "Everything?" I asked, confused by his choice of words.


	18. Chapter 18

DUDE I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAP THAT I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS :D :D HOW BOUT YOU BELS?

redic excited! And you know what's made of win right now (besides this awesome chap)?  
UMMMMM.... NOTHING!?

Lol, mmk :P Well, for those of you who want a little... um, discussion after this chap guess what? There is a thread on twilighted just for you! How cool is that???

YEA.... I GUESS THAT'S COOL... KINDA. BUT NOT AS COOL AS THIS CHAP RIGHT HURRRRRRRRR!

Whatevs you say lovebug :)

our thread can be found here : http://twilighted (dot) net//forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=5820&p=673096#p67309

Oh and SMeyer still owns but i wouldn't be surprised if this chap gave us leverage :P

Yeah, me either. Thanks for leaving those reviews too :)

* * *

**EPOV**

Shit.

I kept my eyes trained on Jasper as Bella tugged on my hand. "Edward, what's he talking about?"

Fuck.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

Tell her the truth. Tell the woman who was going to give birth to my child the truth. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"OOOOOOKkkkkkkkaaaaayyyyy," Ben sighed, slapping is hands on this thighs. "Let's give these two chickadees a minute, shall we?"

Alice shot Bella and I a look as they all filed back into the house. I sank down into one of the deck chairs, and I felt Bella come to stand in front of me. "Edward?"

I tugged at the ends of my hair. Where to start... where to start. "Bella, I... I never planned on falling in love with you."

She nodded slowly, her eyes wide. "Yeah, I know and yet... here we are."

I looked up at her, "And I love you more than anything. You know that right?"

She smiled softly, and her hand came up to cup my jaw. "Mhm."

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her down into my lap. "Bella, I have to tell you something, and I'm not sure... no, I know you aren't going to like it."

"Edward, what is it..?" She asked. She sounded so broken and scared, her chest heaving with anxiety.

I shut my eyes, "Bella... Bella... the night... that first fucking night that we were together... I found Tanya with someone else." There. It was almost out. I felt like shit, but I knew that this was all that was needed. This was all I had left.

Her voice sounded so broken. "Is that why you came back?"

I nodded, "Yes. Bella, that kiss... there was something in that kiss..." It was love. Even then, it was love. She had to know that... She had to remember that I loved her more than anything. She just had to.

She stood up, shaking her head. "You came back, to fuck me for what... _revenge_?"

I buried my face in my hands as I whispered, "Yes." That wasn't even the worst of it. She was already backing away from me, and she didn't let me finish.

Her breath hitched, "Look at me Edward. I want you to look at me and tell me that this was just a revenge fuck." Her voice cracked as she was on the verge of tears.

My head shot up and I looked at her in disbelief. "No, Bella. That's not it. It may have started out that way, but not now... not after everything. Bella, we're having a _baby. _I can't imagine not being with you now; not loving you. You've become the most important thing in my life."

"How do I know that? Hm? How do I know that after you've been keeping this from me since the beginning." She scoffed, looking up into the cloudless sky. "I can't believe that I actually _bought into _everything you said that night. About coming back to see if it'd be just as good the second time, and h-how you felt more for me than you did for her after just that night." She sniffled, shaking her head. "God I'm a fucking _idiot_."

"No, it was me. I should have been honest with you from the beginning, but Bella, I didn't know. I didn't know that we were meant to be together or that I would love you as much as I do. That night I was a manipulative son of a bitch, but... I won't ever regret it. I have you because of that night. That's the best fucking thing in my world. You, love."

"Then why weren't you? It's been over a month Edward. We've been together nearly every moment since we met; why couldn't you have been honest with me at any point before today? Were you _ever_ going to tell me?"

"I... I don't know. I didn't want to risk losing you." I was finally the asshole I thought myself to be. And my Bella and my baby were slipping away.

"And you thought, what? That I'd be too wrapped up in this to walk away if you waited 20 years to say anything?"

"No. I always knew you'd say something." I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. "I can't lose you. I can't."

"Why because then the revenge would be over?" She spat, "Is she still sleeping with this other guy? Is that why you're still bothering with me?" She asked, her eyes glistening but he voice resolute.

"They're not important. Bella, I'm with you because I love you. I love you, remember? Please, Bella... I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I should have told you right away, and I know I fucked up but I still love you. Nothing will ever change that."

"No Edward." She sighed, her voice barely a whisper. "No, if you loved me you would have said something to me before Jasper cornered you into it." She looked down at the ground, turning to walk away. "You didn't fuck up." She said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "You just didn't love me, and no one can fault you for that." She sniffed, turning to walk back toward the house.

I went after her. That wasn't true. How could she even... I grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face me. "How could you say that? Bella, I know I screwed up. I know I should have told you, but it was so hard because I loved you. You... you can't go, Bella. I won't be without you... I can't." I gulped down a breath and my eyes searched hers. "And what about the baby? Bella, I can't walk away from that. I need you, Bella. So much."

"Edward, the baby if there _is _a baby, you're not walking away from it. We're walking away from you; I won't build a family that's foundation is built on a lie."

She was breaking me. "Bella... Bella, don't. Please." I whispered, gasping for breath. "It's our baby."

Tears started streaming down her cheeks as she watched me, "How could a baby have played into your plan for revenge on Tanya?" She drew a shaky breath. "No Edward, it's my baby; it's your mistake."

I reached out and cupped her cheek with my free hand, "No... no. Don't say that because it's not true. I love you and I love _our_ baby. The moment we work this out, I'll call her and break it off. You need me, Bella. Our baby needs me."

Her breath hitched, and she pulled away from me. "I... I didn't even think of that." She paused, "You've known she's been cheating, and yet you didn't _leave_? You couldn't leave her knowing she was cheating, to be with me?" She asked as he bottom lip began to quiver.

Shit. "Bella, it just.... fuck. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. But I'll do it, baby. I'll fix this, I promise."

"No." She replied firmly, "No. There's no reason to. If you haven't done it by now, then there's no point to doing it. If you did love me, you would have done it by now." She laughed sadly, "Now I get what you meant the night at the hospital when you said just breaking off the engagement wasn't enough."

I tugged her back to me gently, "Exactly, Bella! Exactly! It wasn't enough because I need to be with you. It has to be you and me, anything else is just wrong."

Her eyes snapped up to mine, "Why didn't you just end the whole thing that night then?"

I shook my head, still holding onto her. "I..." I had no answer. "I don't know." And that was it. She'd be gone. I hadn't any answers that would mean anything to her. At this point she had to chose to believe me or leave me. I held my breath as I waited.

She pulled away carefully. "I don't know either Edward.." She walked away from me after that, her shoulders slumped as she shuffled into the house.

I let her walk away this time, and I knew that this was it.

She wasn't my Bella anymore.

She didn't want to be.

**BPOV**

I stormed up to the guest room and flopped onto the bed. Shit, was that good for the baby? I rubbed my stomach gently, trying to stabilize my breathing.

Everything was a lie, from day one. Nothing was as it seemed. I heard a light knock on the door.

Please don't be Edward.  
Please don't be Edward.

"Bella? It's Alice. Are you okay in there?" Her tiny voice squeaked from the other side.

I sighed but didn't make any movement to come up. "I'm... come in." I stated incoherently as I turned on my side and folded up into fetal position.

"Oh, sweetie! What's wrong?" She asked hurriedly moving over to my side on the bed.

I took another deep breath, trying to remain calm. "Did you know, Al?"

Her hand ran soft circles against my back as she whispered in a lower tone than I'd ever heard her use before. "Know what?"

"That Edward was only with me because he caught Tanya cheating." I sniffled, biting the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from flooding down my face.

She continued to rub soothing patterns on my back as she rested her chin on my shoulder. "Aw, sweetie, I'm sure that's not true."

"He just told me Alice!" I spat angrily, completely misdirecting the emotion. "Why would he have told me if it wasn't true?"

She sighed, wrapping her arms around me as best she could as we laid on the bed together. "Because Bella, Tanya's cheated on him plenty of times. This... this is the first time he's ever done the same. I'm thinking it doesn't have too much to do with her, as much as with you."

"He still..." I sniffled, wiping the tears I felt falling away as quickly as I could. "He still could have been up front."

"Of course he should have. But Bella, my brother in law doesn't think like that. He had no idea what he was doing, most likely." She puffed out a laugh as she continued. "If anything this experience should bond us more."

"ALICE!" I shouted. "He lied! Everything... everything was a fucking lie... from the beginning." I said shutting my eyes and feeling my body shake with sobs.

"Bella, he loves you. Loves _you. _That's not a lie. What he did was fucked up and stupid, and he will catch hell for it. But that shouldn't diminish the fact that he is in love with you. And that you're in love with him. You wouldn't be this upset if you didn't love him, too."

"I can't love him Alice. How can I love someone who has kept something this big from me? He would have... we would have... if he hadn't..." I gasped between rounds of tears.

I felt her grip tighten around me, starting to rub patterns over my skin again. "He would have what, baby?"

"If he hadn't caught Tanya he would have stayed there, we would have never gotten here." I cried into her shoulder. I wasn't sure if I was more upset that his arguement was beginning to make sense, or if I had just lost all semblance of logic. "Alice... how can I," I sniffled. "How can I trust him now? How do I know there's not more he's hiding? I can't love him. How can I love someone I don't know if I trust?"

She sighed and we were quiet for a moment before either of us spoke again. "I don't know, sweetie. We don't get to choose who we love; we just love them. You just have to decide whether you love Edward unconditionally or not. Edward... Edward doesn't always make the right decisions, but he always has the best intentions. He follows his heart; not his head."

"So his _heart _convinced him to lie to me? To keep this going?" I laughed coldly. "I think you mean to say his dick."

I felt her laughing against my back and she shook her head against my shoulder. "Bella, if he only wanted to fuck you why would he stand by you with the baby?"

"Guilt." I said before even thinking it through. But it made sense, so I went with it.

"For...?" She asked sounding confused by my quick response. "That doesn't make sense. Why would he stay with you if he just wanted a fling? A baby makes it permanent; it keeps you together forever."

"That's not to say he wouldn't have bailed at some point Alice." I knew he wouldn't have, but I also thought that what we had was real and at least between us, honest. And I was wrong on that account so why wouldn't I be wrong here too?

"Bella, he wouldn't still be with you if he didn't love you. He just wouldn't. If he only wanted you for sex, then he would have left after the first night. But he stuck around. He went to you in New York, he took you on his shoot, hell he brought you over! If he wasn't serious about you, he wouldn't have done those things."

I sighed. I was caving. It was easy to when you were in love, _really _in love. I broke down into tears again and Alice rocked me, handing me tissue after tissue until I finally fell asleep to the sound of my own sobs.

What a mess we'd made.

**EPOV**

**I sat on the deck for ages after Bella left. I'd fucked up. Big time. **

**I always knew that this shit would come back to bite me in the ass eventually, but I never expected it to be this bad. I knew that she'd be pissed, and angry. I just assumed that she would come to me to fix it. I wanted to make it better for her, but she wouldn't let me. **

**I didn't know what to do. I needed her, and I needed to fix it. I stood up and walked carefully into the house and to Bella's room. With every step I took, I grew more and more nervous. What if she told me to leave... for good? I couldn't take that. I wasn't sure I knew how to be without Bella anymore. I knocked on her door carefully. "Bella?"**

**The door flew open and there was a small hand on my chest, pushing me back. "She's in the shower."**

**I looked past Alice, and into her room. "I'll go wait."**

**Alice pushed on my chest a little more. "Not now. Edward, she's hurt. She'll come to you when she's ready."**

**I shook my head, and slouched against the wall. "Alice, she hates me."**

**She slapped me lightly. "If she hated you, she wouldn't be this upset. She's just sad and hurt. Let her be for now."**

"Tell her I'm sorry?" I pleaded.

Alice smiled sadly. "She knows. Now go play with my son. It's his birthday, and you're his favorite uncle."

I sighed and turned to head back to the party. I felt numb, though. Nothing but numb.

All afternoon, I smiled and tossed Max around in the pool, but I couldn't get over the fact that the mother of my child and the love of my life was somewhere in the house crying over something I'd done. It couldn't get more hopeless than that.

Jasper and Ben shot me understanding looks all through the evening. Alice rarely emerged from where she and Bella were holed up. It killed me that I couldn't go to her. I wanted to; I wanted to be near her. But she didn't want me.

The only thing in my mind as I went to bed that night was that I wasn't anything if Bella didn't want me.

**BPOV**

It was nearing 3am and I couldn't sleep. I didn't know if it was the unfamiliar bed or just not having Edward beside me.

Edward.

I threw on the bikini I'd had on earlier, discarding my U-Dub tshirt I'd worn to bed and headed down to the pool. Maybe a few laps would help clear things up.

My body froze as I approached and saw the familiar hair and strong back of the man that was causing my sleepless night. I debated approaching him but after a deep breath decided I couldn't go back to that room right away.

"Hey." I whispered so I wouldn't catch him completely off guard as I approached him. He could leave if he wanted to.

"Hi"

With another heavy breath, I took a seat beside him, mimicking his posture as I hunched my shoulders and dangled my legs in the pool. "Alice said you and Max had fun in the pool today." I offered, quietly staring at the water.

"Yeah. He's growing up so quickly." He sighed, seeming uncomfortable that I was there.

"I really am glad, if there is something growing in me.. that it's yours. Even after everything." I lamented, closing my eyes slowly.

He let out another exaggerated breath, his voice soft as he spoke. "Will I get to see it? Ever?"

Really? I looked up, taking my chances with looking at him and knowing it would probably break me. "Of course Edward. I'd never... he or she will need you," I replied, taking a breath before whispering, "almost as much as I do."

His eyes flickered away from my gaze and towards the patio chairs. "You don't though. You've made that abundantly clear."

I sighed and looked back at the chlorine ripples. "Just because I questioned your love, doesn't mean mine vanished at your confession. I still love you." And there it was, the thing that had taken me two boxes of kleenex, a hand towel and curling up with Alice for hours in the day to come to grips with.

"I've always loved you. I may fuck up and do stupid things, but I always love you. I'm sorry I'm shitty at it."

My hand took on a mind of its own and slid over to his, My palm wrapping around his hand that sat firmly against the cement edge of the pool. "It's okay. I'm good at it enough for the both of us sometimes." I heard myself say. I let out a breath and closed my eyes. I couldn't be without him. No matter if this had started out a lie, I knew he loved me now and that's what mattered; we loved each other now. "I think that maybe we're just getting the hard parts of loving someone out of the way early on; that way we'll be able to spend every moment going forward nothing short of blissfully happy." I thought out loud. I laced my fingers between his and waited for a response.

His gaze didn't break from the patio furniture and his voice was meek, hesitant. "Do you think you could still be happy with me?"

My heart tightened at his words. Had I really made him doubt me that much? "Edward, you're the only person I'd ever be happy with. I wouldn't even want to try with anyone else."

"But, Bella... you don't even think I'm in love with you. I know I fucked up, but I still can't apologize for what that lie led to. If I hadn't come back, I wouldn't have had us or..." He paused and I watched his shoulders sink before he continued "...Your baby."

He was right, of course. I had doubted his love for me when he had confessed his motives behind us hooking up that first night. But the more I thought about it, and voiced it to Alice the more I realized he'd been right to hide. I mean, after all look how I reacted. I lifted up a little and scooted closer to him hesitantly, placing our hands on my bare thigh and rubbing slow circles against the back of his hand. "I know I said that I wasn't sure, but that was out of anger Edward. I was just... shocked, I guess. Shocked that you'd been able to hide something like that from me without me picking up on it in the slightest." I let out another heavy breath and moved our joined hands up to the flat of my stomach. "And this, him... her... whichever it may be; this is _our _child. I'm sorry for what I said about this being your mistake."

His fingers flexed over my stomach affectionately. "I love you so much. I can understand that you wouldn't believe me, or if you aren't in love with me anymore. But I was afraid of _this_ happening between us. But it seems that no matter what I do, I always fuck up."

I couldn't help it, I scoffed. "Edward, you don't _always _fuck up. This time? Yes, a bit. But that's all. Every other minute I've been with you prior to this afternoon's fight has been better than the last."

"No. There was the bag, the first night in New York, the day we broke up..." He took a sharp breath in, gulping audibly. "And this."

I shook my head. "The bag and the first night in New York were just... misunderstandings that got blown out of proportion; I don't count those."

He shook his head in response. "It's the same thing, though. Bella, when I fuck up it's big. It's not 'shit, I forgot your birthday'. And... maybe I can't subject you to that. Maybe this one put that into perspective for me."

My breath hitched and I refused to let my eyes stray from the dimly lit pool. He didn't... want this anymore? I had been so wrapped up in thinking about if _I _still wanted this I hadn't even considered that our fight may have made him realize he didn't want _me_. "You don't... you don't want me anymore?" my voice choked out awkwardly.

"Bella, it's never been about me not wanting you. I always want you. But I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make you cry and I don't want you to feel doubt. Ever. And those seem to be things that I'm good at."

"But you're good at loving me too Edward. Maybe not when you do things like hide huge secrets... but overall, you're great at loving me. The way you touch me, and hold me and call me to have lunch and don't bail..." I laughed quietly, looking down. "All you see are the ways you hurt me; but trust me, if that was all there was I wouldn't be here fighting for us now."

I could barely hear him as he whispered, "How could you still want this? It's hurting you, Bella."

I turned my head to look at him. His face was cast down at his lap and he looked so broken it crushed me. "Because I love you. And this may sting now, but it'll fade. Losing you... that kind of pain would never go away. I can't lose you Edward."

He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against mine. I felt his breath glaze over my face as he murmured, "You never will."

I nuzzled my nose against his lightly, as I moved my lips delicately above his trying to gauge his reaction before brushing against his top lip and sucking it into my mouth gently. I felt him sigh against me and I opened my mouth a little more, feeling his tongue slide inside and reach for mine. The kiss was slow and forgiving as my fingers slid up and scratched softly against the nape of his neck. "I'm sorry for saying things I didn't mean. I love you, our baby loves you." I whispered pulling back slowly and resting my forehead against his once more.

"I love you, Bella. I love you so much. And the baby... Bella, we're having a baby." He said, casting a tamed down version of the grin he'd displayed earlier when he'd told everyone the news.

His smile was infectious and I felt my lips twist upward, mimicking his expression. "We are." I repeated before pressing my lips against his with purpose. I needed him to understand how much I loved him, feel how much I... _we _did. I smirked, pulling away and sliding gingerly into the lukewarm water. He looked at me quizzically and I continued to grin wickedly as I pulled the strings from my bikini bottom, balling up the piece of cloth and tossing it beside him. His eyes widened a little bit.

"What?" I asked innocently, untying my bikini top and throwing it in the same direction.

"This... looks like a happy ending."

"Are you going to make observations or get in here?" I asked placing my hands on my hips.

"I'm coming."

I pouted trying to hold back my laugh. "You were supposed to wait to be in me for that."

He laughed, wrapping his arms around me tightly as if he was scared I'd pull away. "It feels like forever since you've been in my arms."

"That's because it has been." I whispered against his lips. His mouth brushed against mine as he glided us towards the side of the pool, pressing my back against the tile. His mouth moved slowly from my lips across my cheek and down my jaw. "I love you." I whispered into his ear as my hands reached into his damp hair shaking it alive. God, Edward's sex hair was almost better than the sex itself... _almost_. His lips latched onto my jugular and I moaned as he sucked and bit against it roughly. "Fuck..." I breathed, tilting my head to the side to give him better access. "Even with the chlorine, you taste incredible baby." He huffed against my damp skin. I sighed against him and felt his arms wrap around my waist pulling me up and out of the water.

My eyes re focused and snapped to his. "What...?" I asked, trailing off utterly confused. He used his upper body to lift him up. "I just realized I'll never be able to fuck you as hard as I want, in the pool." He motioned towards the patch of grass just above gravel that bordered the pool. I looked up at him and smiled; my baby thought of everything. He reached for me and I all too willingly wrapped myself up around him. He peppered my shoulder and temples with soft kisses. "Bella, my Bella.." he whispered against my cool skin as he laid us down on the soft lawn.

Half his body leaned over me, as he brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear cupping my cheek. "Bella, I love you. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, "Baby, it's okay. I love you."

He smiled faintly lowering his face and kissing me softly. His free hand that wasn't propping him up, moved slowly down my body from my collar bone, between my breasts and giving each of them a soft squeeze; each nipple a teasing pinch. My body arched up against his hand and I felt him smile press into my lips. His hands continued their feather-light exploration to my stomach where he laid his palm flat.

"Our first." He whispered before pressing his lips against mine. _Our first_, I repeated in my head, smiling at the thought. His fingers inched lower, cupping my sex before his index finger slid into me slowly. I whimpered into his mouth as I felt his finger pull away after just a few shallow thrusts. He lifted his face up and I saw him move his finger towards his lips. I quickly jerked his hand away, pulling it towards me as I swiped my juices over my lips and tilted my head up, pressing my lips against his. I felt his tongue dart out as his mouth pulled my bottom lip inside. We both groaned at the sensation and slowly moved back down, his body hovering heavily over mine.

**EPOV**

That shit was hot.

Other girls would flip at the mere mention of tasting themselves, but Bella dove right in.

My lips moved effortlessly against hers and she pushed down my shorts in one quick motion. I moaned as my hard on came in contact with her sopping wet cunt. "Shit, Bella... you're so wet for me."

She leaned back in, pressing hot and feverish kisses along my neck. "Only you, Edward. Only ever you."

I groaned and leaned back in, pressing my lips to hers as I lined my cock up with her entrance. As I looked down at her, her eyes hooded and her chest heaving with the effort I felt like shit. She didn't even know the whole truth, and she was giving herself to me. But then again, what did it matter? She knew most of it and the rest was simply... inconsequential. I crashed my lips to hers again, stifling her yelp as I thrust roughly into her. I held still inside of her, although my lips never moved, and waited for her to wiggle her hips and get me moving. I started slowly at first, moving my head to kiss the skin beside her ears.

"Baby, you get your wish tonight."

"Which one?" She moaned, her hands sliding down my back to cup my ass.

"I don't have to pull out."

Her breath hitched and I started pounding into her. I supported my weight on my fore arms beside her head and kept my eyes trained below us. There wasn't anything more erotic than watching my cock slide in and out of her. Nothing. I was covered in Bella, and I had Bella all around me. I wouldn't ever need anything else. I leaned back down as I felt her pussy start to flutter around me. "Bella, Baby? I love you so much. You're so fucking sexy when you cum, Baby. I love it when you cum. Can you do that for me now, Bella? Please? C'mon baby, take my cock until you cum."

"UNGNNNGGGGGGGGSSSHHHIITTTTTEEEDDDWAARRRDDD!!!" Bella screamed as her pussy clamped down on my cock, milking it for all it was worth. I kept thrusting wildly into her before I finally came with Bella's name falling from my lips. I slowed significantly before finally pulling out, then scooting down her body to pepper kisses along her stomach. "Bella, I love you." I nuzzled her stomach with my nose. "Thank you... Thank you."

Bella ran her fingers lazily through my hair. "For what?"

I nuzzled her again, kissing just over where I guessed our baby must have been. "For loving me enough to give me this."

"Edward, I've always wanted this with you. Maybe not _now _but it's always been you. I want a family with you." She sighed, "It just appears as though that's starting a bit sooner than anticipated."

I kissed the baby again, wrapping my arms around her ass so that her abdomen was pushed into my face. "And that's bad?"

"No, just unexpected." She said, laughing lightly. "As you can tell I'm not great with handling the unexpected."

I rested my cheek against her skin, listening for anything. "Love, I did a horrible thing to you. I don't blame you for reacting the way you did."

Her fingers found their way into my hair and she began scratching lightly. "It's okay. We'll get past it and it'll make us a stronger family."

I nestled into her hips. "Please, Bella. Don't go anymore."

"I'm right here."

I shook my head against her skin, "Not ever. I can't be without you."

She shivered a little beneath me. "I won't leave you Edward." She paused, her eyes fluttering shut. "But can we go to bed? I'm starting to get cold."

Shit. She was out here, naked as anything about to have my child and I was keeping her out in the cold. I scooped her up into my arms effortlessly, carrying her to the bathroom.

"Edward, you realize you just carried me naked? Like through the living room and shit?"

"Uh huh. Give this a sec, it's almost hot."

I helped her into the shower and we rinsed off, before flopping down on her bed. I wrapped her up in her sweats and my favorite hoodie, making sure she was all set. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

She laughed, and sat up against the headboard. "Edward, I'm fine. I'm pregnant, not a cripple."

I leaned in brushing the hair from her forehead. "Love, you're about to have my baby and I pretty much gave you hypothermia."

She rolled her eyes, giving me a smirk. "Edward, me saying '_i'm cold'_ does not translate into hypothermia."

I looked at her earnestly, "It could."

Bella smiled softly and cupped my jaw. "I love you for being overly sensitive to my body temperature." She tried to stifle her laugh, but she failed.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm only trying to take care of you."

"I know." She replied, sitting back. "Are you coming to bed?"

I sighed, and pulled back the covers. "I would... but I wouldn't want to overheat you."

She gave me The Look, and ripped off my sweatshirt. "Edward, when have you and I _ever _slept together when I wore clothes?"

I got under the covers with her, and instantly wrapped her in my arms. "Since you got pregnant."

She pulled off her sweats, then came back to my side. "Um, that's not going to change anything. You keep me warm; I don't need clothes when I can be wrapped in you all night."

I pulled her back into my chest, kissing her forehead as our legs twisted up in each other. "I love you, Bella."

She hummed into my neck, pressing a quick kiss to the base of my neck. "I love you, Edward."

My hands began running up and down her back as I hummed to her, helping her fall asleep. I promised myself in that moment that Bella couldn't hurt like that ever again. I would quicker die than watch her go through that kind of pain again. I couldn't do that to her; I loved her too much.

I was just hoping she'd come to see it.

**BPOV**

I slept more soundly that night than I had all week combined. I slowly woke up, seeing the glow of the sunlight from my closed eyelids. I snuggled up closer to Edward's toned chest and nuzzled my nose against the crook of his neck, placing a soft kiss on his shoulder. It was funny how even in our sleep we clung to each other. My face was pushed against his neck and his arms gripped tightly around my waist, our legs tangled. He groaned quietly and my lips moved to his jaw, pressing delicately.

"Mmm, hey." He murmured sleepily.

"Hi." I whispered unable to hold back my smile. It was the first time I'd woke up to him in a nearly a week and I didn't want to picture ever waking up without him again.

"Do we still get the sunday rule even though we're here?"

"Yeah, but... it's Saturday." I replied, grinning and rolling over so my body slightly hovered over his and I could look into his amazing eyes. "I'm all for pretending it's Sunday though."

"Sunday it is." He lifted the thin sheet we were hiding under up, and my body shivered lightly as a cool breeze swept over our naked bodies. "You're gonna be fuckhot with a bump."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "No I'm gonna be me with a pillow for a stomach. You're gonna hate it when it's not flat anymore."

He shook his head in protest. "No. Baby, it'll be fuckhot."

My lips pressed against his and I smiled. "As long as you think so that's all that matters."

"Mhm, I do. And your boobs are gonna be huge." He said pausing to cup one of my breasts with his hand and squeezing gently. "Maybe you should be pregnant a lot."

"That can be arranged. Though it'll take lots of all-day Sundays I think..." I raised an eyebrow and looked at him seriously. "Maybe we should implement the Sunday rule on Saturdays too."

"Okay." He agreed easily, reaching up to kiss me before grasping my hips and rolling us onto our sides. "Being on top might not be good for the baby."

"I'm sure it's--"

"LOVE OF MY LIFE!" Ben's voice shouted as he swung the door open, looking at us with a devilish smirk as he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. "Well well... what do we have here? Did the bickering birds make up?"

Edward's arms were around me in an instant pulling me close to his side, and making sure all the things that needed to be covered, were. "Get the fuck away from me."

Ben chuckled and shook his head. "Now is that anyway to treat a friend that just saved your ass?"

"Excuse me?"

He reached into his back pocket pulling out my bikini and Edward's swim trunks. "Rose was going to show me some yoga moves," he paused wiggling his eyebrows, "and so we went outside; that was when I spotted these lovely items and thought,'hm those look awfully familiar..." he paused for dramatic effect and I rolled my eyes waiting for him to continue. "So I thought to myself, 'that look's like Bella's... and if she's not wearing it, maybe she's naked'. And then I saw your trunks and _knew _she was probably naked. I was just hoping she'd be in here alone and ready for a rebound." He replied jokingly.

"Don't even think it." He growled, glaring at Ben.

"Too late buddy, thought and thinking about." He quipped tossing our swimwear onto the foot of the bed. "So what are you kiddies up to this morning?" He asked peering over at me innocently.

"Make up sex." I replied directly. "So, if you wouldn't mind..." I began, trailing off. "I'm sure you can keep Rosalie occupied long enough to give Edward and I the rest of the morning to apologize to one another."

"I think I might have to do some... apologizing of my own, Bellista. I did leave Rose in some kinda pretzel pose."

I laughed softly, and looked at him pointedly. "Well then?"

"Can I borrow a rubber? You guys don't need 'em."

"GET OUT!!" Edward yelled, exasperated by Ben's comments.

"Chill, dude, I'm kidding. But seriously: Alice says lunch's at one. Be there or be mulch." He shook his head and walked out, closing the door behind him. I rolled onto my back and twisted my neck looking over at Edward. "So, if you're scared for me to be on top, how then did you plan to fuck me?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"I'm not afraid of you being on top. Just hovering like you were. The baby might... not like that position... so much."

"And why not? Babies like that bouncy thing... shit we're gonna need to learn the name of it so we can get him or her one." I paused trying to think of the name but giving up. "Anyway, babies obviously like to bounce so why wouldn't it like me riding you? It'd be bouncing."

He crinkled his nose and looked at me worriedly. "Bella.... and what if I like... poke it. With my cock. In the eye. Or something."

"Edward, it's fine. Don't people say sex is actually good for the baby?"

"They do?"

"I think so. That's what Angela said and she did a ton of research when her and Tyler found out they were expecting."

His arms pushed lightly against my body and I relaxed onto my back as I felt his lips hover over my stomach. "You're gonna be fuckhot with a bump." He replied, pressing a lingering kiss against my bellybutton.

I sighed and arched my stomach up towards his lips. "I love you."

His fingers brushed over my skin as he whispered, "I love you both."

His body hovered over me, slowly sliding back up so his face was parallel to mine. I felt his erection pressing into my lower abdomen and my body reacted instantly as my nipples hardened and I felt the familiar wetness pool between my legs. He rubbed his nose lightly against mine and he sighed against my lips, kissing them quickly.

"You're mine Bella. You have to be."

I nodded, smiling warmly. "Always Edward. I won't ever be anyone else's."

His mouth pushed against mine more feverishly and his tongue wasted no time swiping against my bottom lip begging for entrance which I all too eagerly obliged as my hands moved to tangle in his hair. Our tongues swam against each other lazily and I revelled in the taste of him. Even before he had brushed his teeth, his breath had a faint taste of mint which had my mind reeling. I bent my knees up higher and pushed the sides of my kneecaps against his hips.

"Edward," I murmured breaking away from his delicious mouth. "I need you."

He grinned and placed a chaste kiss on my top lip. "Baby, I haven't even touched you yet."

I shook my head slowly. "I don't care; I'm ready. Please Edward, I need to feel you." I begged quietly, as I looked up into his big emerald eyes. His eyes saddened and he squeezed his eyes shut, crinkling his nose before softening his face and gulping.

"Bella you have to tell me if I put too much pressure against you okay? I don't want to hurt you or the baby." He lamented looking at me with a fallen expression.

I moved a hand to cup his jaw and smiled faintly. "Edward you won't hurt us; I promise."

"But you'll tell me if I do?"

I laughed quietly and nodded. "I promise."

He laid an open mouth kiss on my forehead and let out a deep breath as I felt his hand snake between us. He positioned himself at my entrance and I let out a heavy sigh in anticipation. He ran his tip along my slit and I pushed my hips down, whimpering silently at the feel of him. I felt him hesitantly ease into me, stretching my pussy with his cock.

"Fuck, you weren't kidding..." He hissed as his forehead dropped to my shoulder. "You're soaking wet. God, you feel good." He panted against my skin as he moved in and out slowly. "How is it..." he began as his hips began to pick up speed and our momentum increased. "... that you feel so fucking tight every time?" He puffed out, rhetorically.

"Because we were made for this; you were made..." I huffed, biting my lip as his tip accidentally swiped against my clit as he pulled out a bit too far. "... You were made to be inside me, just like I was made to take your cum."

"Fuck Bella, I love when you say shit like that.." he moaned into my skin as I rocked my hips against his, trying to get him completely buried inside me. My hands slid from his scalp down his back and to his ass, as I lifted my hips and pressed him into me deeper.

"Ungh, fuck!" I moaned breathlessly as he hit my sweet spot. He groaned against my neck and bit down lightly, sucking on my pulse point. One of his hands moved from the mattress where he'd been holding himself a safe distance above me, and moved down to my hip.

"Is that where you need me Bella? Where you need my cock to hit?" I mewed out a confirmation and he began slamming his hips into me harder, grinding against my pelvis as he repeatedly hit my gspot.

"FUCK!" I screamed as his cock scraped against it over and over. "Shit Edward.... ungh... I'm so close."

"That's it baby, cum for me." he panted, picking up speed and hitting the spot harder; it was almost as if he couldn't avoid it - like my pussy was one big gspot grinding against his amazing shaft.

"Bella baby," he began kissing my cheek affectionately. "I need you to cum; I need you to milk my cock and let me explode in you. I need that baby, so much..." he moaned into my ear before latching his lips onto the skin on my neck and sucking hard.

I whimpered at the feel of his teeth grazing my skin and arched my hips as much as I could against him. His hand moved from the side of my hip to the top of my mound. "Bella, cum.. cum all over my dick. Please baby, I love you; let me see you cum for me." His thumb drew firm circles against my swollen clit and my back arched, shoving my tits against his bare chest. "FUCK EDWARD!! UNGH!! SHITFUCK OHGOD!" I screamed, my mouth gaping as I felt the coil tighten to its max. "That's it baby, cum... cum all over my dick. My cock needs your cum; milk my shaft." He growled into my shoulder.

I dug my fingernails into his ass screaming, "OHGOD!! UNGHH! I'M... I'M..FUCK I'M CUMMING FOR YOU EDWARD!" I thrashed my head back against the pillow arching my body even more as my pussy tightened securely around his cock. My visioned blurred at the strength of my orgasm and I swear I saw stars. "Fuck, Bella!" He groaned biting my shoulder fiercely as I felt him spill into me just as the stars began to diminish from behind my eyelids. Once the initial burst of his cum filled me, he began rocking slowly in and out until everything had been poured out of him. He lifted his head, as we both gulped down air, trying to catch our breaths. His lips pressed against my forehead before he rested his head against mine, closing his eyes and panting.

"That was..."

"...I know."

"I love you."

"Me too."

He nuzzled his nose against mine playfully before rolling back onto the mattress and pulling me against him. He pressed a firm kiss into my hair and rain his fingers up and down my arm lazily. "I love when we pretend it's Sunday." He sighed.

I laughed quietly and nodded against his chest in agreement.

He was my everything.

I loved it when we pretended it was Sunday. I loved it when we pretended there wasn't this whole other world outside of our Edward/Bella bubble. I loved it when we pretended we could actually make this work.

Because despite loving him more than anything, I still wasn't sure. It felt like he was keeping more from me and I couldn't get past that nagging. But he had made his peace and spilled his confession. So, I would have to take him at his word, that there were no more surprises in store, and no more secrets he was keeping.

The only secret we had left was the one we shared.**  
EPOV**

I stayed in bed with Bella a while longer with my head firmly pressed into her shoulder. This was perfection. As long as the door was locked and no one else could get in, I was set. At around 12:30, Bella started to stir.

"Baby, what's wrong? You okay?" I asked, my hand running down her stomach to her abdomen. I fucking crushed the baby, didn't I? Shit.

Bella lauhed softly, putting her soft hand to my face. "I'm fine. But Alice wants us at 1. We only have a half hour."

I sighed and let her pull me up out of bed. I followed her into the shower and we were dressed and at Max's party by 12:59.

"There you two are!" Alice wailed, hobbling over to us with the birthday boy on her hip. "Godfather, take a picture with your nephew, please!"

I scooped the half sleeping child from her, and leaned over to kiss Bella. "I'll be right back, love. Be careful."

She smiled under my lips and pulled away slowly. "I will. I love you."

I grinned at her, starting to walk to my brother. "Love you."

"Hey, Edward." Jasper said, clapping my shoulder as I stood in front of the camera with Max's head lolling on my shoulder.

"Shouldn't I be doing that?" I asked.

"Probably. And you will. When it's your son's second birthday."

I smiled and looked over at Bella, who was chatting animatedly with Alice. This time next year, I'd be someone's father. And maybe we'd have another? I sighed as Jasper took the picture. "Where's mom?" I asked, realizing that I hadn't seen her yet.

"She had an emergency this morning, so she had to go back. She should be up late tomorrow night. She's spending the week up here with us."

"Oh." I said, a little despondent. I really, really wanted my mother to come and meet Bella. I mean, the two most important women in my life had to at least know about each other, right? Right. I'd just have to set up a lunch or something.

"Ok, Kiddo. I think you're all set."

"Awesome." I scanned the crowed behind Jasper for Bella, but she was out of sight.

I heard Jasper click his tongue as his arm wrapped around my shoulders. "I'm sorry, dude."

"What?" He nodded toward the edge of the pool, and that was when I saw Bella. Standing next to a tall, pretty, ice cold blonde.

I groaned.

What the hell was Tanya doing here?


	19. Chapter 19

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**_**BPOV**

Alice was hilarious and I couldn't understand how anyone _couldn't _like her. That is, until she left rather abruptly as Tanya approached where we'd been chit chatting by the pool.

"Hi there. We weren't formally introduced _either _time I've run into you." She replied snidely. "I'm Tanya, Edward's fiance." Part of me _really _wanted to correct her and remind her of the demoted status to simply girlfriend, but I refrained, and nodded. "Nice to officially meet you. I'm Isabella, Edward's assistant."

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "If you're his assistant I'm not exactly sure _why _you're at a family-only event."

I felt a heavy arm wrap around my shoulders. "Oh, Tanya. I see you met my girlfriend, Bella."

I felt my body tense up and freeze as Ben's surprised interruption. I sighed and leaned into him a bit. He was more muscular than Edward and it felt like his chest was a pincushion. But it was worth Tanya's reaction; her eyes shot up into her hairline and her eyes nearly bugged out. "Your _girlfriend?_" She asked with a strong tone of surprise. "Since when does Ben Chapman, notorious womanizer have a _girlfriend_?"

His dry lips pressed roughly against my temple and I sighed- so this was the game we were now playing? "Since I met Bellista yesterday."

She smirked looking at me. "Well she doesn't seem spectacular enough to justify leave your wild ways behind." She sighed and I noticed her body relax a bit. "And here I thought she was trying to sink her claws into Edward - not that he would ever be stupid enough to lower his standards." She spat, tilting her head and staring me down. "... even if he _is _a photographer."

I wanted to lunge at her. I had never been a supporter of violence, but for her I would make it a god damn career. I felt Ben slide his hand to my waist, pulling me even closer to him. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Wrecked any homes lately? Or are you still too busy making my best friend feel like a chump?"

"You know there _was _a time when we were pretty close too." She retorted, glancing from him down to me. "Apparently things change when you settle."

"Are you speaking on Edward's behalf?" I blurted out before I had a chance to censor myself. Ben pushed his face into my hair to suppress a chuckle, rubbing my hipbone with his thumb. Her eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. "No I was speaking for my friend Ben here, who _used to _have standards for the women he chose; evidently that's changed."

"Yeah, Sweetheart." He said, turning to look at me. "That happened when I told Tanya I wouldn't fuck her the night after Edward proposed. That is how we ended up in Wellington. And that's when I really got some standards."

I pulled my head from under his and looked up at him wide-eyed. He pouted slightly and nodded once confirming that what he said was true. I spun my head towards Tanya. "You... you're..." I couldn't even find the words. "I... I'm.." she mocked grinning coldly and turning to Ben. "Seems like your girlfriend has a speech impediment."

"You're a fucking slut." I stated decidedly. "No wonder Alice hates you. You treat her like shit and then you try and sleep with her brother - your boyfriend's - friends? Obviously Edward is the one who is slumming it by sticking with trash." I said trying to wrap my head around what Ben had admitted about his and Edward's history.

All I could think was, poor Edward. He should never have to hurt like that. And then, to actually catch her sleeping with someone else? Was it with another of his friend's? My mind raced as I watched her lips move in an interaction with Ben and saw her eyes flicker to me a few times as they spoke, but I heard nothing.

I needed Edward. I needed him to know that I would never be that person, that he could always have faith in my love for him no matter our arguments or petty disagreements. I would only ever be his, and would never want for anyone else.

**EPOV**

I watched carefully as Bella stiffened, and Tanya smirked. This wouldn't and couldn't ever be good. Then I felt someone slap my ass. "I got this one, chicken fry." Ben said, making his way over to the two of them. I gripped Max tightly to my chest as Ben pulled Bella into his side. She relaxed, and he kissed her temple as Tanya fumed. I couldn't help but feel jealous though, as Ben kissed Bella and ran his and up and down her side. It should be me, I thought. I should be the one over there protecting her from Tanya. I was used to that bullshit; Bella wasn't.

I shook myself out of it when I saw Bella and Ben start to walk toward me, arm in arm, leaving Tanya alone by the pool. She looked so out of place. "Hey, Teddy!" Ben called, smiling nervously. "Is she like... behind me?" He asked through his teeth.

I shook my head, my eyes trained on Bella, trying to assess the situation. "Baby?"

Ben's eyes shifted from Bella to me before he said, "Listen I'm gonna grab a beer. You guys want anything?"

"No.' I said, not moving in the slightest. Bella shook her head.

"Okay. Be careful lovebirds." He said, kissing Bella's head and moving away from us.

I relaxed slightly when I saw Jasper start talking to Tanya, giving me a slight nod as he turned her away from Bella and I. "Baby, you okay?"

She nodded, giving me a small smile. "Yeah. It was... fine."

"You sure? Because you shouldn't be stressed... that's bad for the baby. Alice said so." Max's dead weight was putting my arm to sleep, and I adjusted him awkwardly.

"Ben came to the rescue at the most uncomfortable part. Everything after that was fine." She held her arms out to Max, "Can I hold him?"

I moved closer to Bella, and as I shifted Max into her arms I let my lips brush against her forehead. "I love you," I whispered as I pulled away.

She shift Max slightly, and he rested his head on her shoulder. "Me too... So did you and Jasper get to catch up a bit?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I guess my mom couldn't make it up until tomorrow night. I'm kinda bummed."

"Aw, that's too bad." She paused, "I would have really liked to have met her this weekend."

"I wanted you to." I sighed, looking over her head to Tanya, who was giving me the eye. "I'm sorry I'm ruining this for you. Between everything, I'm surprised you're still here."

"You're here. Where else would I rather be?" She asked, smiling up at me.

I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I wish I could hold you right now."

She laughed quietly, "We'd probably crush the little one if you tried." She said, nodding to Max, then running her hand over his small back.

I wanted this with her. I wanted this to happen right now. I needed this with Bella, and she was right in front of me, watching with understanding brown eyes. "I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it now. Bella, you deserve better than this."

"Edward." She hissed. Her eyes were pleading with me to understand. "Don't, not here. Remember, this is about Max and Alice this weekend. Let's not cause any more unnecessary drama and added stress for her."

I sighed, looking back to Tanya then down at Bella, nodding a little. "Okay, love. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I want this too, and if I wasn't worried about Alice going into early labor I'd be encouraging you right now." She replied, grinning.

I smiled a little down at her, "I'm so glad you're here, love."

She nodded, "Thank you for letting me come."

"Fuck, I wanna kiss you."

Bella sighed dramatically, running her hand through Max's hair. "Well... I think we should put Max down for his nap. I mean, I don't want him getting too pink in the hot sun. Don't you think?" She asked with a smirk.

I put one hand to his forehead, "A little."

She gestured to the house as she called to Alice. "We're going to put Max down for a nap, if that's okay?"

Alice nodded, smiling slightly between the two of us and I 'led' Bella up to the nursery. She put Max into his crib, brushing his hair off of his forehead. I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind, kissing her neck. "You're wonderful with him, you know."

She relaxed against me, lacing her fingers with mine over her stomach. "So are you. You're going to make a great father, Edward."

"Only with you, though."

"Good." She replied firmly, giving me a strong poke to the stomach. "Because I'm going to be the mother of all your children."

I leaned in, kissing her hard. "Every last one."

**BPOV**

I smiled under our kiss and pulled away, brushing the hair from his forehead. "Do you think Alice would let us take Max for a weekend, so we can experience the whole parenting thing before ours makes its debut?"

"Probably."

My hand wrapped around his and I led us towards the door, and down the hall towards our room, or I guess _my _room for the night. The moment we walked inside he spun me around, pinning me against the door and locking it with the push of the button.

"I don't like sharing you." He murmured before pressing his lips against mine roughly. I moaned into his mouth and ran my hands up and down his sides. One of his hands skimmed down the front of my body, and under the hem of my t-shirt, resting against my stomach. "I can't wait for this to grow, to feel it kick for the first time. To watch the natural glow you have, magnify and go to doctor's appointments to hear it's heart beat. I can't wait to experience all of that with you Bella." He whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. I smiled up at him, seeing all the love he had for me in his eyes. "I can't wait either." I murmured, pressing my lips against his again.

We continued to get lost in each others kisses for a few more minutes, his hand never leaving my abdomen. "We should... probably go back before Tanya comes looking for you." I sighed, pulling away from him slowly.

"Can't we leave early? I just want to be with you and our baby." He whined, rubbing his nose against the curve of my neck.

I shook my head against his temple. "No, we have to stay." He huffed against my shoulder and stood up straight, pouting. "Then I guess you're right, we should go."

We kissed quickly a few more times before I twisted the doorknob to unlock it and stepped out hesitantly, reaching behind me for his hand. He laced his fingers with mine and we walked back out to the main living room that led to the back yard. My hand dropped from his just as we stepped outside and I walked over to Alice.

"He go down all right?" She asked as she stirred the punch bowl full of lemonade. I nodded and began chopping the lemons beside the bowl to toss into the mixture. "Mhm, he's an angel."

"That he is. I just hope she is as well behaved." She replied, patting her belly.

"How- how was it the first time?" I asked hesitantly, glancing at her from the corner of my eye.

"What, giving birth?"

"Mhm."

She let out a puff of laughter. "Oh you know, a walk in the park."

I looked up at her, stunned. "Really?"

She laughed harder shaking her head. "God no. It hurt more than anything. It was like trying to fit a football through a rubberband and not have the band snap."

"Did you have an epidural?"

She shook her head. "No, that was my first mistake. With this one, I'm definitely getting loaded." We both laughed and I tossed in the sliced lemons.

"It was the most physically painful experience of my life, to date but I was lucky to have Jasper there. He helped me get through it." Her voice dropped to a whisper, "Just like you'll have Edward."

I couldn't help the smile the spread over my lips as I looked over to where Edward was talking with Tanya, a slight scowl covering his face. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in that conversation. I sighed and felt Alice's hand on the small of my back, rubbing it soothingly. "It'll get better. He'll leave her, you know... eventually."

I nodded and bit my lip. "I know, it just hurts watching them now."

"Why? He may be with her, but he _loves _you." She leaned up whispering in my ear. "I bet he's standing there now, wishing that he didn't have to hide."

"Yeah, same here."

"Well you won't for much longer." She said, pulling away and spinning around to grab a bowl full of salsa and placing it beside the chips that were already on the table. "Are you able to stay tomorrow night?" She asked out of the blue. I shook my head. "No, I have to be at work early Monday morning." Her face fell slightly. "That's too bad, you could have met Edward's mom. She's the sweetest woman on earth - she'll love you."

I scoffed and looked back towards Edward who was rolling his eyes and had his arms crossed defensively over his chest. "I hope so." I felt Alice's arm twist around mine as she guided me over to where Jasper and Ben were grilling chicken and steaks.

"Hey babes." Alice replied, running her hand up and down Jasper's spine. He turned to look at her and kissed her forehead affectionately. "Hi dear. The chicken is almost ready for the final glaze."

"Great. We can let Bella and Ben handle it. With Max asleep, I want some bedroom time." She replied bluntly. Jasper's cheeks flushed and he tried to hide it with a quiet laugh, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. "You heard her guys. I'll see you in 20." He responded, as his eyes never broke from her gaze. "Make that 45." Alice corrected as they walked up towards the house.

Ben and I turned to look at each other and laughed. "Well that wasn't awkward." he stated, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Not in the slightest." I concurred looking at the bowl of marinade beside the grill. He grabbed the tongs from the table beside the grill and rotated the pieces of chicken.

"So, thanks for earlier... with Tanya." I said quietly, biting my lip. He shook his head waving me off. "No problemo Bellista. You make homeboy happy; that's more than I can say for what Tanya's been doing to him the past few years."

I smiled to myself and looked over at him. "So what did you do when Tanya made the pass at you?"

He grinned "I told her she was insane and went straight to Edward, like any friend would."

"And he just did what, nothing?" I pushed, shocked that he wouldn't have left her immediately. Ben just shrugged aloofly. "He said he needed to clear his head and we headed down to Wellington for a few weeks. Good times, just a bad price to pay to get him to come out and play for a bit."

"But he still went back to her, even after that?" I didn't get it. How could someone like Edward think he couldn't do better than a cheater? It was beyond my mental capacity. Again Ben shrugged. "I don't think I was the first friend to bring up Tanya's lack of moral fiber. Maybe I was the first one she tried getting anywhere with. Plus, with it happening the day after he proposed to her, I think it was just icing on the cake. So after he came back he got really drunk and re-proposed. I still don't get that one though; you'll have to ask him."

"Hm." I echoed, shaking my head.

"So what about you? I hear you have a fella. What's his deal?" He asked offhandedly, slathering the marinade onto the chicken with a brush. "He's..." How to describe James? Rude, condescending, selfish... "He's not Edward." I conceded with a sigh. Ben's lips turned up into a smirk and he nodded, understandingly. "Gotcha."

"Edward don't lie to me!" I heard Tanya yell, and both of us spun our heads to face them. "I SEE how you look at her. Don't give me that shit!" She continued to scold, fuming. Ben dropped the tongs with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. "Fucking hypocrite." I heard him grumble under his breath as he grabbed my hand and walked us over to them.

"What are you going on about?" Ben snapped looking at Tanya. "You're going to wake Max."

"I. DON'T. FUCKING. CARE!" She screamed over annunciating each word to make her point. "Edward is obviously trying to get in Ms. _Thang's_ pants over here." She said glaring at me. Ben rolled his eyes, squeezing my hand. "Tanya, I've been hanging out with Edward nearly every day the last few weeks and he hasn't even _mentioned _Bella. I'd think if he was trying to score with my new girl he'd have the decency as a friend to least ask if he could borrow her for a night." He spat. I laughed hysterically in my head at his logic.

Really. Apparently that was his idea of rationalizing the situation. But I remained mum and continued to watch the exchange, as did Edward. "You've barely touched her. You'd think for someone as insatiable as you Ben, you'd be Grabby McGrabberson with her."

He just rolled his eyes. "I have _respect _for my Bellista and Edward's family, you twat. Just because I'm not pawing all over her doesn't mean I don't want to be." He said darting his eyes over to me and giving me the twice over. "I mean really, you think I would be able to deny myself this if I didn't feel obligated to?"

I suddenly felt like a piece of meat. A very cheap one at that. "What do you need Tanya? What does Tanya need to convince herself that her boyfriend doesn't have roaming eyes and hands? Hm?" He asked condescendingly.

"Fiance." She corrected, wrapping her arm around Edward's midsection.

"Boyfriend." Edward corrected coldly. She turned to look at him, a glimmer of sadness washing over her face before it went ice cold again and she looked back at Ben. "Kiss her. Kiss your girlfriend." She stated flatly. "Edward can be possessive at times. Based on his reaction I'll know."

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

"No problemo ho." He said, spinning me towards him and planting a hard, open mouthed kiss against my lips.

What. the. fuck.


	20. Chapter 20

**kay, so like no words can express how happy i am to be posting this thing bels. what about you? **

**Happy happy.  
good. so like... SMeyer still owns, last we checked. but it's okay cuz our smut is waaaaaay better than her fade to blackness.**

**Yeah. I'm afraid of the dark FTB doesn't work for me. Nor do page breaks.  
Right right... so how about you readers leave a review and we'll see what we can do about keeping up with the regular updates?  
**

* * *

**EPOV**

Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in.

I watched Bella relax in Ben's arms as they kissed, and fought the urge to rip him limb from limb. I was letting this happen. It was happening and I was letting it. I sighed as Ben released Bella, nuzzling his face against hers and cooing in her ear. He put her upright, and I watched her blush as she averted her gaze.

"How was that slut puppy?" Ben asked Tanya, his voice cold.

A sly smile spread over Tanya's face and I fought back the bile threatening to rise. "Guess he's still My Edward after all."

I groaned, looking at her for the first time with all of the shame and disgust that everyone else had seen. I couldn't believe I had wasted seven years. Suddenly it had boiled over. I'd had enough. "The only thing I am at this moment is completely disgusted by you. How could you even think to ask them to do that? Embarrassing me, Bella, and probably Ben even though he hides it well. You've got some fucking balls, Tanya you really do."

Tanya's eyes softened and she reached out to me. "Edward, I--"

"No. It's enough. You've done quite enough. I hope you're happy now. I hope you have everything you want."

I walked away from all of them. I didn't fucking care about myself, or Tanya or Ben. But Bella; Bella shouldn't have to put up with shit like that, especially when she was carrying my child. It wasn't fair to her, and it certainly wasn't fair to the baby. My poor little zygote.

I walked completely through the house to the lake, then onto the docks, where I slumped down. I couldn't believe that I'd let that happen; that I'd been able to stand there and let Ben rape Bella's mouth without decking him. I couldn't let Tanya sink her teeth into Bella. I couldn't let that happen. I needed to protect her. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't? What kind of father? I felt the dock rock beside me, and I closed my eyes.

"Dude, I'm sorry about macking on your woman back there." Ben said, leaning into me and giving me a nudge. "You wanna talk about it?"

I laughed humorlessly, "About what? How my fincee's fucking psychotic? About how I'm having a baby with the woman of my dreams and she almost left me last night? About how my life is a mess--"

"hey, stop it. You're life is so black and white, it's not even funny. You have a lady who loves you and is willing to shove a watermelon through a straw for you. That takes guts, Eds. And Tanya's always been a tramp. You knew this."

"I know, but... I thought that maybe she'd stop. Because she loved me. Because she wanted me more than the other guys." I sighed, "But I guess not."

Ben sighed, "Edward... she's just a different kind of person. She doesn't know what she has. But Bella does; Bella appreciates you. When I asked about her other guy you know what she said? That he wasn't Edward. That woman loves you. Hands down. She thinks you shit rainbows and piss bunnies. Get through this for her, if not for yourself."

I nodded. "I know. I love her more than I thought possible."

"It shows, dude. Trust me. It shows. But I am impressed that you were able to not kill me while I tongued Bellista."

I laughed a little. "Me too. I almost did though. And don't get any ideas."

"I dunno, man. That Bellista..." He let out a low whistle and a low growl rumbled through my chest.

"See? Now _that's_ what I was expecting."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Not cool."

He laughed loudly, clapping me on the back. "She loves _you, _Edward. Trust me, when she was kissing me, she wasn't into it. Not even a little. Her lips were locked tighter than the hoover dam."

"Not. Helping."

"I'm just trying to help you out. But listen, you be careful with those two. Bellista just might remove Tanya's eyes." Ben stood up then laughed out loud, "But then you could kiss Bellista in front of her, so it wouldn't really matter."

I laughed with him as I stood up, following him back into the house. I couldn't believe it was only saturday.

**BPOV**

After Edward and Ben had taken off I had seen no reason to stay in the uncomfortable situation with Tanya so I went upstairs to change into my swimsuit and check on Max. He was awake and cooing, kicking at the moon and stars mobile hanging above his crib. I picked up up and held him to my waist. "What's up lil man? Do you want to go swimming. He smiled at me, and it was Alice's smile completely. I changed him into his little swimmer diaper trunks and we walked outside to the pool.

I sat down on the first step and helped him stand, holding him up as he gripped my arms as best he could and got used to the water. He giggled, muttering "wawa" as his little feet kicked up small waves. He was so friggin adorable, I couldn't help but smile. "That's right, water." I agreed and he laughed, kicking harder.

"Well well, someone's getting mommy-and-me practice time." I heard Jasper's voice ring out behind me. I turned my neck facing him as he sank his legs into the pool and edged inside slowly. Max's head turned towards his father and his eyes lit up. "Dad-da" said, cooing again and letting one hand up from my arm to reach for him. Jasper made his way over and took him from my arms. "That's right. Dad-da" He said pointing to himself. He turned his finger towards me. "And that's Bella. Can you say Bella?" Max's eyes followed his father's finger and he looked at me smiling and shaking his head, buring his face in his father's chest shyly. "Come on Max, who is that? Is that Bella?" Jasper egged on. Max nodded against his father, still not looking up at me. Jasper and I laughed and I sank further into the pool. Dipping under the water and pushing off swimming towards the deep end. I made it 3/4ths of the way, completely below the surface before popping up for air and spinning around to see Max still in his father's arms, staring at me. I smiled widely and waved. He scrunched up his nose and buried his face in Jasper's chest again and he laughed. "Seems like Max may have a little crush on Bella." Alice's voice chimed as I turned to see her walking across the lawn with Edward and Ben behind her.

I swam leisurly back to the shallow end where the three of them were standing at the poolside.

"I agree darling. Edward, looks like you might have some competition here." Jasper replied chuckling and bouncing Max a little in his arms, to which he squealed with happiness.

His eyebrows shot into his hairline and he nodded respectfully at the toddler. "A worthy opponent."

"Where's Rose?" Ben asked turning to Jasper and Alice. "I haven't seen her since this morning." Alice rolled her eyes and huffed. "The Cullen sister has decided that she doesn't have _time _for a vacation that doesn't involve boot camp style workouts so she went home early. She got a ride from Tanya, since the four of us drove up together.

"Tanya left too?" Jasper asked, looking at his wife. Alice nodded, beaming brightly. "Mhm, again! Hopefully this time she'll learn not to come back." She turned to Edward "I'd say no offense, but I don't think you mind her being gone too much." She stated with a smirk.

Edward shrugged sliding his t-shirt off and walking to the deep end. "Not particularly," he responded before diving in and swimming down towards where we had gathered in the shallow end. Alice sat down along the pool's edge, dipping her legs in. "Max hunny, can you say Auntie Bellla?" Max's head spun around to look at his mom and he shook his head, turning pink and burrowing his face in his father's shoulder. His eyes peeked out and he looked at me, lifting his face. "Bew-wa"

The smile that spread across my face would have extended around the globe if my head could have supported it. I nodded and pointed to him "Max." He nodded and I pointed to me and he smiled, "Bew-wa." I felt Edward's arms wrap around me from behind as he placed a soft kiss behind my ear. "Can I get a smile that big, if I call you Bew-wa?" I laughed and leaned back against him. My neck turned to look at him and his lips pressed against mine softly.

"So who kisses better?" Ben chided as he sat beside Alice on the side of the pool.

"WHAT?!" Alice asked looking from me to Edward to Ben. "Bella KISSED YOU?!" Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Edward?"

He sighed exasperatedly rubbing his chin against my shoulder. "It's a long story, Alice. And _not_ what you're thinking." Her eyes continued to flicker between the three of us, as we remained quiet and she finally settled down, with a huff.

Max started slapping the water, splashing Jasper and Alice in the process and everyone laughed and watched him. "Evidently he's an attention whore like his mother." Ben replied, grinning. "Yep just like his momma!" She agreed proudly.

The group of us remained in the shallow end, with Ben eventually getting in and playing motorboat with Max until the wind began to pick up and Alice pulled Max out to dry off before he, in her words, "caught the Spanish Influenza". Ben and Jasper followed her inside and I swam to the wall, Edward following behind me. His arms circled around my waist and he looked down at me, smiling.

"I'm sorry about earlier." I whispered, looking up at him. He had to know that the thing between Ben and I... wasn't even a thing. It was an 'oh-shit-what-the-fuck-is-happening' blip in time.

He leaned his face closer to mine, shaking his head. "Baby, if anyone should be apologizing, it's me."

I crinkled my forehead. "What, why?"

"For Tanya. The things she said... i never should have put you in this situation. I'm so sorry, Bella."

I shook my head, moving a hand out of the water to cup his jaw. "It's fine baby." I replied, kissing him. "I'd go through that and more for what we have now."

"I love you the best, you know." He whispered, rubbing his nose against mine.

"Mhm. I know." I said, kissing him softly.

"Good. How do you feel?"

"I'm good." I murmured, smiling against his neck. "Is it too early for us to call it a night if the sun hasn't even finished setting?"

"No. I want you to be okay." He said, poking my stomach lightly with his index finger. "That's my baby in there."

I spread my legs and he took a step between them; his shorts brushing against me. I let out a breath and bit my lip. "You know, being pregnant I'm going to need to keep my cardio up for both my and the baby's heart." I smirked against his lips, moving my mouth against his slowly. How was it possible that they still felt this good against mine?

He grinned mischievously against my lips. "That's totally up to you, Baby. Whatever you want."

My arms slid around his lazily and my fingers threaded through his hair as I shook my head. "What do you want to do?"

"Be with you." He murmured before kissing me.

I laughed quietly against him. "Well, you have me regardless. Do you want to go home?" His hands slid down my sides to my ass, cupping it and pushing it against him. I let out a soft whimper and he began rocking his hips against mine. His head drop down to my shoulder and he nibbled against my neck. "I need to be able to scream your name Edward." I breathed against his temple. "Let's go back to the studio." I felt him nod against me and pull away, his cheeks flushed as he pressed his lips to mine. "Okay, I'll go pack our stuff and you tell Alice we're leaving."

Three hours, a birthday cake and belly full of burgers later Edward was driving my car home. Ben had agreed to stay the night and Jasper offered to drive him home the following day.

He pulled into his parking spot and we couldn't keep our hands off each other from the minute we stepped out of the car all the way up until we reached his door.

"Baby, baby... I gotta open the door." He murmured against my lips as he cradled me in his arms. I slowly unwound my legs from his waist with a sigh. He pushed open the door and pulled me through it quickly, pressing me firmly against the wall.

"You have no idea what seeing Ben all over you did to me, do you?" He growled, nipping at my neck. I moaned loudly, arching my chest against his. "It was only a kiss."

"I don't care." He continued, sternly. "You're mine Bella. Only _my _lips belong on yours; no one else's." He shoved his lips against mine fiercely, proving his point as his tongue separated my lips and grasped for mine. "Baby.." I whispered pulling my mouth from his. "I'm gonna go wash up a little. I feel greasy from the sunscreen."

He let out a ragged breath, leaning his forehead against mine. "Okay. I'm going to run to the store then, for the pregnancy test." I flashed a toothy smile and nodded, kissing his mouth quickly. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

I walked into the bathroom as I heard him bring our bags into his bedroom, and stripped down to rinse off.

That was when I saw it. The one thing I had been praying for until this weekend.

My period.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I quickly locked the door, my head bumping against it as I slid down, the tears flowing freely from my eyes. I heard his footsteps move quickly towards the bathroom.

"Bella? Love, you okay?"

I gasped, sniffling the tears back quickly and wiping my eyes. "Y-yeah... I'm okay."

"What was that? Are you hurt? Let me in." No, that... he.... no. "I'm fine." I said sniffling back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Just... can you... I need tampons." The tears broke lose through the temporary damn I had erected and I pulled my knees up to my chest, muffling the sound of my crying against my thighs.

He didn't say anything, but I heard the front door close and I waited a few moments before stepping into the shower.

How was it possible to achingly miss something that never existed?

**EPOV**

It's funny how tampons can change your whole life.

Personally, I never thought that they would matter to me, but here I was cursing the guy who invented the damn things. I sighed and pulled into the Walgreen's parking lot then trudged in. "Feminine Hygiene?" I said to the pimply kid behind the counter. "Aisle Four."

Aisle four.

I went into the aisle and looked at the sea of blue and pink boxes, cringing a little. No baby for Edward. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, and picked up a box. I was heading back to the registers when I heard a voice call behind me, "Does your wife have a wide set vagina?"

I stopped dead in my tracks, turning slowly. The woman was may be 4'5 and 213 years old and she was asking me about my wife's vagina? "Excuse me?"

She gestured to the box in my hand. "You picked up the heaviest tampons we carry. They're for woman with a heavy flow and a wide set vagina."

I looked at her blankly, "How the hell would I know if she had a wide set vagina?"

The woman shrugged, "How should I know? I'm not the one basting her turkey."

I sighed, replacing the box and looking at the rest of them. "Any suggestions?"

The woman set down the bottles of lube she was restocking and came to stand next to me, putting her glasses on her nose. "How's her flow?"

"Her what?"

"her flow, Sonny. How much liquid does she expel?"

I cringed. "I don't know... the usual amount?"

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes, "What kind of Applicator?"

I was confused, "There's an option?"

"Yes. None, plastic, or Cardboard."

Cardboard sounded painful and none was just... ew. "Plastic."

"Okay, so you're looking here. Does she need sport level protection?" I looked at her. "Does she move around a lot."

I thought for a moment, "Kind of, but not more than normal."

She plucked a box from the shelf and handed it to me, "Here you go sonny, try these." She studied me for a moment before placing her hand gently on my arm. "Your wife is alright isn't she?"

I sighed and nodded a little. "I was supposed to be buying a pregnancy test."

The woman nodded sadly at me, "Ah. I'm very sorry to hear that, my boy. But, do you love your wife?"

"Very much."

She smiled up at me hopefully, "Then you'll get your shot. Any man who loves his wife enough to buy her tampons, deserves to be a father."

I laughed sadly, looking back at the shelf. I put the box in my hand back, then grabbed another. I held it up to show the woman, "Multi-pack."

She laughed again and nodded, "Now you're learning. Good luck, my boy."

I nodded in good-bye and paid for the tampons quickly so that I could get back to Bella. When I got there, the place was silent, and I would have thought she'd left were it not for the light coming from under the bathroom door. I dropped the box in front of the bathroom door and knocked gently. "Bella? The box is here. I'm going to change, okay?"

I heard nothing from the other side.

I went to go change, but all I wanted was Bella in my arms, telling me we could do this again; that we would try again. That was what I wanted. I made my way back toward the kitchen when I heard the bathroom door open and Bella stepped out. My head snapped up and I looked at her, "Bella?"

"Hm?" She was dress in a pair of yoga pants and my sweatshirt, but she was completely void of any emotion. That scared me more than anything.

"Baby, you okay?" she was walking around like nothing was wrong. Like we hadn't thought we were about to be parents for the last 48 hours.

She nodded, then came over and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry."

I wrapped my arms around her, leaning my cheek to the top of her head, "There's nothing to apologize for. Really."

She shook her head, then buried her face in the crook of my neck. "No, I should have waited to know for sure before saying anything... I'm so sorry Edward."

She was being ridiculous. "Love, I'm glad you told me. It made me realize how much I needed you; how much I needed this. I love you, Bella. Nothing will ever change that."

"Do you... do you think you might want to try again?" she whispered, keeping her face firmly planted against my skin.

I leaned my head against hers, "Would you?"

She nodded, "I want that, if you do."

I kissed the top of her head. "Of course I do. Bella, just because it didn't work out this time doesn't mean I don't still want that." I squeezed her tighter to my chest, "Bella, all of those things we talked about still apply. Don't worry love."

"I just, I didn't know if you really wanted it or if you were just saying you did because we were in the situation..." She pulled away to look at me, and my heart broke when I saw how red her eyes were.

I brushed the hair off of her face and kissed her eyelids. "No, love. I want those things with you. So what if it's not happening right now? As long as we get them, it doesn't really matter. At least, not to me."

She sighed, "Can we just lay down? I'm kinda overwhelmed and tired and just... sad." She chewed on her lip and I watched as her eyes began to fill with unshed tears.

I slid my hands down her body and picked her up carefully, her head against my shoulder as I walked us to the bed. After I put her down, she crawled under the covers and curled into a ball. I got in bed behind her and wrapped my body around her, as if that was all she needed to protect her.

Bella's voice was quiet and apprehensive. "Do you think this is karma for me cheating on James? Because I don't know that anything has ever hurt this much." I felt her tears on my arm, and I pressed a kiss to the back of her head.

I let out a ragged sigh, nuzzling my nose into her hair, "No, love. Not at all. We just... weren't ready yet. But we will be; it's gonna be okay."

When I replaced my cheek, I found that there was a wet spot there. I put my fingers to my cheek and I realized that I was crying, too. I was mourning the loss of the child I never got to have, the relationship that Bella and I once had and my life as I knew it.

Because after today nothing would be the same.

**BPOV**

I hadn't realized how ready I was to be a mother, to have a family with Edward, until the opportunity presented itself. And now it was gone and all I wanted was to have it back. I wanted Edward to fuck me stupid and I wanted us to not stop until we had a reason to check and see if it was 1 pink line or 2.

I couldn't help the nagging thoughts that shoved their way to the front of my mind that repeated that I wasn't pregnant because of karmic retribution for cheating on James. I slept restlessly for a few hours before my eyes flung open after a nightmare I'd had of Edward and I having a baby and me dropping it down a pool drain. My body shifted in Edward's arms and I adjusted to wearing clothes to bed with him. His lips brushed against the top of my head as the hand that wasn't gripping my waist firmly ran up and down my spine. I nuzzled my face into his chest and felt him sigh into my hair.

"I want this Edward. I want to try and have a baby." I murmured against his t-shirt. What I left out for fear of scaring him was that I wanted to try _now; _I was ready _now_ for this with him. He nodded against my head and kissed it again. "We will love. When it's the right time we'll try and it'll happen."I bit my lip and nodded.

He wasn't ready and I couldn't blame him; after all it had only been six weeks. But I knew; I just knew that I was meant for Edward and he for me.

My breath fanned over his body and I closed my eyes, trying to sleep. But sleep never came.


	21. Chapter 21

Secrets Part 3

(before Part 2)

Duuuuuuude hi! Long time no talk to :)

I know right? It's been for fucking ever. Whatcha up to?

Yanno... fighting crime as a superhero and all that, yourself?

I'm putting that addition on the batcave. It's coming along nicely. I think I might be able to squeeze in a helopad.

Oh, sweeeeet. That would rock - an underground heliopad :P

Shhhhh.... semantics :P

Haha... anyway, not to change subjects but even though Bel and I are superheros by day and fanfic writers by night, we still don't own these characters. No matter how many chapters we put up, SMeyer still owns them.

*gets into iron man suit*

Dude, slow your roll we're still not done with this a/n.

I was gonna go see SMeyer about those rights. This one's the most intimidating :P

Gluck with that champ. While Bel is off fighting... twilight writers, how about you leave us a review and maybe a nice PM about this chap? Please and

* * *

**EPOV**

**I woke up the next morning with Bella's head tucked under my chin. I didn't know what to say to her or how to make her feel better, so I just got up. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes with the back of my hand, and went into the bathroom. She thought that this was her fault; that we weren't having a baby because she had done something wrong. That didn't make sense. We were both equally responsible for what had happened and what was happening. I couldn't let her take all of this. I walked back into the bed room and Bella had turned away from me and was curled up in a ball. I reached out, putting a hand on her back.**

**"Love, I'm gonna get some food. I'll be back soon okay?"**

**There wasn't any reaching for me, nor asking me why she couldn't come. She just nodded and pulled the sheet tighter around her body. I sigh, leaning in to kiss her temple, then walked away. I waited until I was outside to call Tanya. There was no way I could go back to her now.**

**"Edward?" She asked, her voice oddly calm.**

**"Hey."**

**"Why are you calling me?" **

**I groaned and rolled my eyes. Of course she would blame this all on me. Why not? "Because you ran away yesterday, and we haven't worked anything out."**

**I heard her grunt smugly into the phone. "I'm ready to accept your apology."**

**I scoffed, "I'm not apologizing. What you did was petty and conniving, and I was completely embarrassed by your behavior. I had never been more ashamed in my entire life."**

**There was a beat of silence before she spoke, "I'm sorry. I--"**

**I sighed, leaning up against the wall of the coffee shop. "Look, it's whatever. But I can't be around you right now. At least not until I figure my shit out. I'll be at the studio, but I'll probably be working. I'll call you when I'm ready." I hung up the phone and went into the shop. **

**I was losing Tanya, but I didn't care.**

**She was making this the easiest decision of my life. Bella needed me, and that's where I'd be. **

**BPOV**

I rolled over, slowly waking up at the bright gray of Seattle streamed through the curtains in Edward's bedroom. I opened my eyes slowly, squinting as I made out the box of tampons sitting on his dresser.

Fuck, it hadn't been a dream.

I sighed heavily and sat up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hands. I had a vague memory of Edward saying he was going out for a minute so when I turned to see his side of the bed empty I didn't panic. For the briefest of moments a flash of Edward leaving permanently filled my head and my heart strained against my chest. No, he wouldn't leave, would he? Now that he'd had time to digest that we weren't having a baby he wouldn't be mad... right? I crawled out of bed and threw my hair into a messy ponytail before padding out of the bedroom. The sight of Edward dicing fruit in the kitchen made me jump as I rounded the corner. His eyes moved from the peach he was slicing up to me and he stopped, placing the knife down smiling a little. "Morning." I nodded, and walked over to him, trying to gauge his mood. "Morning." My eyes flickered to the fruit he'd already cut up and had put in a glass bowl and the tray he had begun to assemble with pancakes and bacon.

"You cooked?"

He shrugged, wringing his hands. "A little."

I looked at the tray of food again, then back at him moving closer. My arms wrapped around his torso and I felt him sigh against me as his arms wound around my waist and he pulled me closer, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Are you okay?" I asked, realizing that he'd been worried about me so much last night and I was just so... out of it, that I hadn't bothered to ask him before we went to bed.

His hand rubbed up and down my back soothingly as he whispered into my hair, "Are you?"

I pulled away to look up at him and his eyes looked weathered and slightly puffy. "I asked first." I replied, giving him a sad half smile.

He nodded, kissing me softly. "I'm okay. Tired, but okay."

"I'm sorry if I kept you up. I know I slept pretty restlessly last night; you'll have the bed to yourself tonight so hopefully you'll be able to sleep better."

He looked at me, knitting his eyebrows together. "You're not staying with me?"

"I thought I'd give you some space. Plus I have work tomorrow morning, and all my work clothes are at my apartment."

I felt his arms drop from my sides and he turned back towards the cutting board. "Oh. Okay."

"Did you... want me to stay?" I asked, surprised that he would want me around after I had crushed his dreams of being a dad with a single word, _tampons_.

He turned to look at me. "Yes."

"Really?" My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why would he want me after... everything? "Even after I completely demolished your dreams of us having a baby?" I asked, with an unsteady voice. Oh for christsake, I couldn't even get the word 'baby' out without my eyes filling with tears. What the hell was wrong with me? I had to stop longing for something that never existed. I bit my lip nervously trying to keep the tears at bay.

His lips brushes over my eyebrows and I relaxed them slowly. "You didn't Bella. It didn't happen this time, but we'll try again. Just like you said, right?"

"Soon?" I asked hesitantly, looking up at him.

"Soon. I love you."

"I love you too." I replied, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck and pull his face closer to mine. My lips brushed against his and I sighed, pulling away slowly. "Do you even know how lucky I am to have you?"

His head dropped down and rested on my shoulder as he pulled me closer to him. "Love we have each other. Nothing is luckier than that."

I laughed softly against him placing a kiss against his hair before releasing my arms from him to help with breakfast.

A few hours later I was pulling out of Edward's garage and on my way home to get some clothes for work tomorrow. As I stepped into my apartment it felt quieter than usual, almost dreary. This really wasn't a home without Edward; it was just a place to rest, eat and shower.

Mid-pack, I heard my phone ringing in the living room and raced to get it.

"Hello?" I panted into the phone.

"Woah woah Bellzoni, you don't need to pick up if you're mid horizontal tango just cuz it's me." I heard my brother's voice echo. I laughed, shaking my head. "Em, I was racing to get my phone; it was in the other room."

"Riiiiiiiiiight." he replied in disbelief. After a beat he spoke up again. "So what's up sis? How was the weekend with your side-man's fam?"

I laughed a little. "It was intense."

"Why?"

With a heavy sigh, I recollected the events with painful detail up until last night's return home.

"So did you take a test last night at Edward's? Am I gonna have a little niece or nephew?" He asked eagerly. I took a deep breath and with a shaky voice I responded, "No. There's no baby." The floodgates started all over again and I couldn't stop the body-shaking sobs that spilled over.

"Bella. Bella? Bella, it's gonna be okay." He replied sounding slightly panicked. "It's gonna be okay." I shook my head even though I knew he couldn't see. "No Em, I mean..." I began, sniffling as I tried to control my outburst. "I-I know it'll be okay. I just spent half a week wishing I wasn't pregnant and then two days gleefully happy that I was. And now..." I bit my lip trying to hold back the tears that threatened to reemerge. "Now, we have nothing."

"Shh.. sis you do have something. You guys have each other and that's pretty fucking great, isn't it? And he's been great since you told him, right?" He asked hesitantly. "Mhm. He's been fantastic. I just, I can't shake this feeling that we're not, that _I'm not_ because we wanted it so much and I cheated on James and it's like some like... karmic thing. Like 'Bella you can't be happy, you can't have everything you didn't know you wanted because you've been cheating on James' " I admitted, defeatedly, breaking down into a fresh round of uncontrollable sobbing.

"Bells, Bells?" He asked but I couldn't stop the tears long enough to catch my breath and respond. "Bella, I'm on my way. I'll be there in a few hours okay?" I shook my head gasping out a "no". "Isabella Marie Swan, you were there when I needed you. Let your big brother be there for you. I'll see you in a couple hours I'm leaving now." He said adamantly, hanging up the phone before I could argue further.

I curled up in a ball sending Edward a quick text message before shutting my eyes and falling into another round of restless unconscious.

**I'm not coming by. I'll call you soon. Love you - B**

This was all my fault. Edward and I were hurting and I was broken because I had been disloyal and not had a moment of regret for any of it.

**EPOV**

**I looked down at my phone angrily as Bella's text stayed on the screen. How could she not come back? Maybe she didn't... want me now? Maybe because I hadn't been able to... fuck. I tired calling her back a few dozen times, but she never picked up. I was feeling lost and hopeless. Then all of a sudden my phone started to ring and I pounced on it.**

**"Hello?" I asked urgently.  
**  
"Who the fuck is this?"

"Who the fuck is this?" A random man on the other end of Bella's phone line was asking me who the fuck I was? Rude, much?

"Who the fuck are you and why do you keep calling Bella's cell phone?"

I sighed. It must have been James. "I'm Edward. Bella was helping me out with something. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"Edward, _Edward_?"

"Uh, yes?"

I heard the door click softly behind him, "Oh, hey man! Sorry, I thought you were like some random asshole calling my sister's phone. I'm Emmett, her brother."

"Oh." I said. It must have been worse than I thought. She called her brother? What could she tell him and not me? I sighed sadly, and slumped down on the couch. "How is she?"

"Eh, not great. She's been sleeping off and on since I got here. She keeps waking up groaning, screaming... clenching her stomach." He sighed, and I was pretty sure my heart stopped. "She's kinda going through it right now." There was a beat of silence before he added, "She told me what happened. How're you holding up?"

He knew? "Me? I'm okay, I guess. As well as I can be, considering. What does she need? Anything? I can be there in ten if..." I trailed off when I realized that she didn't want to see me. She would be here if she did.

"Honestly? I think right now if I asked her she'd either say nothing, or for me to leave and I'd rather not argue with her right now. And it's probably better if you're not here. What little she's said to me so far, it doesn't seem like she's ready to face you yet. She still feels really badly about letting you down."

"Letting me down? But..." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "We can try again. It wasn't like this was our only shot." Shit, what if it was?

He laughed half heartedly. "I know that. The way she's been going on about you, I was ready for her to tell me you two eloped this weekend. She just feels enormously guilty over it. Has she said anything to you about feeling like this is all her fault because of James?"

"Yeah. A few times."

"Well that's where she's at right now. Which is bullshit, because if anything _he _has bad shit coming to him after the years of hell he's put her through." I could hear him puffing out his chest through the phone. "But that's neither here nor there I guess. She's gonna see it however she wants to; I just wish she'd stop blaming herself." As an after thought he added, "Hey listen, you have a key, right?"

"Yeah." I responded, a little shakily.

"Well, I'm gonna make sure she eats at least a little something tonight before I leave, but I think you should be here. She may hate me for saying it, but she needs you bro and I think you two should get through this together. You're the only one who can feel what she's feeling. Are you able to break away from your wifey tonight to drop by?"

I was already getting my shit together. "Yeah. Just gimme a call before you leave."

"I'll try but if she's up I won't be able to sneak off with her phone without making her wonder. She's pretty fucking observant and likes to question... _everything_." He laughed lightly, "So if you don't hear from me, plan to be here in a couple hours."

"Okay. Does she need anything? Food? Magazines? Anything?"

"I think she could use anything that will help in keeping her mind off of it, or make her feel better. Right now my feeling is both of those things are you - and maybe a movie." I heard the door creak open, and he lowered his voice."Anyway dude, I'm gonna run and check on her. Remember, a couple hours. Oh and one other thing..."

"Hm?"

"This probably isn't the best time to say it, but if you fucking hurt her in any way and make her go through _anything _like that shit you pulled this weekend I will skin you alive and use your organs to make tribal instruments, got it?"

I nodded, sadly. "Understood."

We said our good-byes and I got my stuff together and headed to Bella's. I just hoped that I was still the one who could make her feel better.

**BPOV**

"Bella fucking Swan, you better eat this pizza. I slaved over a hot phone and raced around your apartment trying to find your exact address so you could eat." Emmett scolded as we sat in the living room with the pizza box open on the coffee table.

"Em, I'm not hungry, seriously." I argued, shaking my head as he handed me a plate with 2 slices on it.

"You made me eat when I was going through my rough patch."

"And you refused, and didn't eat for almost four days."

"But I ate."

I shook my head. "By my count I have 3 more days before your argument is valid." He growled and shoved the plate back in my face. "Eat it or I'm calling dad."

"And saying what? You promised you wouldn't tell him anything."

He rolled his eyes and huffed, defeatedly. "I still don't get why you're fucking with James when this Edward guy seems so much better for you." Why hadn't I? I bit the inside of my cheek and shrugged.

"He's still with his girlfriend."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you need to be with James, does it?" He asked, dropping the plate of warm pizza in my lap. I sighed and looked down at it then back up at him. "No, but I don't want to end up alone if Edward never leaves her."

"Do you really think that's how it's going to go down?" I shrugged again. "I don't think so, but you never know."

"So, let me get this straight. You love him, he is retardedly in love with you and yet no one is budging on dropping their significant others?"

It sounded pretty fucking stupid when he laid it all out like that. I nodded. "Pretty much."

He scoffed shoving the last of his 4th piece in his mouth. "You guys are both fucking morons then." I looked at him wide eyed. "What? I'm just sayin how it is. You guys are in love, want to be together but neither is doing a damn thing about it. That's more than being a fucking moron and trust me I've seen my fair share of dumbasses. You two are just being a masochistic idiots."

"Thanks Em." I said, picking at the crust of the pizza in front of me.

"Hey Bellzati I love you, I just want to put shit straight in your face so you can resolve it and get on with your happiness."

"I am happy."

"No you're not."

I looked at him pointedly. "Really Em, you're gonna go there with me _tonight _of all nights?" I saw his shoulders slump. "Sorry, fine. I'll drop it for now."

"Thanks."

We sat eating in silence until I had polished off the two slices of pizza and Emmett the garbage disposal had eaten the rest of the pie. After an episode of bad COPS reruns Emmett headed home to Portland so he would be back at a somewhat decent hour and able to make it into work the following afternoon.

"Thanks for coming up Em, I really appreciate it." I admitted, as he pulled me up off the ground in a huge bear hug.

"Anytime sis, I'm glad you gave me a copy of your key when you moved in, otherwise you'd be door-less right now." He chuckled against my hair, putting me down gently. "You'll be okay, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just gonna relax and maybe go out for a tub of ice cream and drown my pathetic-ness in a pint of Ben n' Jerry's."

He laughed and ruffled my hair before patting it like I was a lap dog. "Whatever will help Bellerati. I'll call you tomorrow to check up on you."

"Emmett you don't have to."

"Sure I do, it's what big brothers do." He replied, grinning as he backed up out of the door way. Once he had turned to walk down the stairs I shut the door and grabbed my keys to walk to Walgreen's for some lactose-lovin.

Thankfully they had my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor - Half Baked - at the store and I was eager to dive in with bad Lifetime made-for-TV movies. I climbed up the stairs to my apartment and froze seeing a very sullen Cullen playing with his spare key in front of my door.

"Edward?" I asked, completely surprised to be seeing him. Hadn't he gotten my text? His head shot up as I approached him. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. You... you never called me back, and then you weren't home. I was... I was just leaving." He replied, looking at me sadly.

My eyebrows raised a bit and I smiled softly. "You came over here, just to leave?"

"You weren't here, so I didn't know if you went out. Or something." He said, continuing to fidget with the key in his hand.

"Yeah, I ran to Walgreen's for some ice cream but I'm in for the night. Did you want to come inside?"

He took a step closer to me grabbing the bag out of my hands and wrapping his arms around me "Yeah."

I sighed against him, kissing the hollow of his neck quickly before pulling away to open the door and stepping inside. He closed the door behind him locking up for the night and I went into the kitchen to grab a couple spoons. I dropped them on the coffee table and went into my room to change out of my clothes. After getting down to just a Seahawks t-shirt and underwear I meandered back into the living room where he had popped open the pint of ice cream and was sitting with his legs stretched out on the recliner watching something on TV.

"What're we watching?" I asked reaching for the ice cream and spoon before crawling into his lap.

"Analyze This." He said, kissing my cheek. "That okay?"

"Mhm." I replied, snuggling in closer to him. We watched in silence as I slowly picked at the ice cream while he lazily rubbed my back with one hand, holding me with the other. The credits rolled and Edward lifted his arm from my back to grab the remote. "I'm sorry we're not pregnant Edward." I said, with a sigh. I knew I kept repeating myself and sounding like a broken record but there wasn't anything more I could say that would express the sentiment.

His lips pressed firmly into my hair and I felt him relax against me. "Bella, there's no fault in this. It just didn't happen now. But it will. We'll have this, Baby. We will."

"You still want to have a baby with me?" I questioned, looking up at him.

He smiled, nuzzling my hair with his nose. "Why wouldn't I? Bella, I love you."

My body swerved to face him and my legs straddled his hips. "I love you too." I replied, smiling earnestly for the first time all day. My lips pushed against his hard, and he let out a breath as his mouth opened and I slid my tongue inside. I felt his hand that had been holding the remote slide over mine that was holding the ice cream and take it from me, placing it on the table beside us.

He smiled under the kiss pulling away slowly. "You taste like chocolate."

I laughed a little and nodded. "Mhm."

He grinned and cupped my face with his hands. "I love you Bella, and we'll have this baby, we'll have a dozen of them if that's what you want." His lips hovered above mine and his tongue poked out, swiping against my bottom lip before his mouth pulled it inside, sucking on it softly. I moaned quietly as his hands trailed down my body resting against my hips.

"I need you." I whispered as he released my lip from between his teeth. "I'll always need you." I laughed sadly, "even when I say otherwise."

He pulled me closer against him, pressing a kiss against the spot between my eyebrows. "I need you, love. I want you to be happy. That's all that matters." My arms wrapped around his neck gingerly and I lifted my head, brushing my lips against his mouth as our tongue wrapped around each other, dancing. I rocked myself against him, digging my pelvis into his. His breath hitched and he let out a low growl. "Edward, you know what today is?" I whispered as I pulled my mouth from his reluctantly.

He grinned devilishly at me as he answered, "Sunday."

I smirked and kissed his nose playfully. "Mhm, and Mr. Cullen you are breaking the Sunday rules..." I replied sliding my t-shirt up and over my head. "You are wearing far too many clothes."

He mimicked my movement, sliding his shirt off his body, before pressing his lips against mine quickly."I'm sorry love." He lamented, running his hands up and down my sides. My tongue slid across my bottom lip as I took in the sight of Edward's bare chest. How was it possible that just the sight of his bare chest could turn me on the way it did? It defied fucking science. My lips trailed hot kisses along his neck, as my teeth grazed against his pulse point. "Good start, but I believe a more pressing issue is that of you having pants on."

He maneuvered our position so I was resting against the chair and he was standing in front of me. He gave me a playful wink before dropping his pants and boxers in one fell swoop. "Better?"

I laughed a little as I nodded and stood up. His arms snaked around me, quickly pulling me against him as his lips devoured mine. His hands roamed down to my ass and he lifted me up, carrying me to the bedroom. This felt right; his lips, his hands and the way they explored me... all of it was perfect. He set me down at the foot of my bed as his mouth moved down my cheek and along my neck. One of his trailed down to the edge of my underwear and I froze, remember what time of the month it was.

"Baby, baby wait." I said pulling away from him slowly. He looked at me, perplexed. "Everything okay?" He asked, moving his hands up to my hips and resting them there. I smiled a little and nodded, kissing him. "Yeah, just, we can't do this." His face fell. "Oh, okay. I'm sorry I just--"

My index finger covered his lips, sufficiently interrupting him. "No, I _want _to. But it's just um... the whole tampon issue?" His face softened with recognition and I dropped my finger from his mouth, nodding. One of his hands moved up, and dragged through his hair as he looked to his left and right slowly. "Well, I'm okay with it if you are." He said looking up at me. "I've never... with anyone, so I don't know if you want to. But I still do if you do." He continued, shyly.

Truth? It may be completely disgusting, but I felt like that was one of the sweetest things he'd ever said. I nodded. "Me too, if you want to. But I've never either, so..." I trailed off. "I guess I'll be right back?" I asked tilting my head to the bathroom door. He chuckled quietly and nodded. "Okay, I'll be here love."

I walked into the bathroom, and took a quick shower, rinsing off and cleaning up a bit. My eyes stared at my naked form as I dried off and gazed a the reflection in the mirror. I looked down at my lower abdomen. "Now listen, behave. This is gonna be a first, so don't like... go all crazy with the flow okay? Just... slow your roll for the next 12 hours then you can rebel, deal?" I said. It was silly to scold my ovaries, but every precaution needed to be taken to avoid a potentially very embarrassing situation. I took one last breath before wrapping my body in the towel and opening the door.

Edward had turned on the lamp on my nightstand and was laying in bed reading the Cosmo I had picked up a few weeks ago, with all the sex positions to try. He looked up, closing the magazine as I walked further into the room, biting my lip anxiously. I left my towel on as I slid under the covers beside him and he moved the booklet back to the nightstand before rolling onto his side, facing me. "Better?" He asked, moving closer. I nodded and giggled quietly. "What?" He asked, smiling down at me as his lips moved closer to mine. "I'm just nervous, I feel like I'm back in school and this is my first time all over again." I admitted as his lips brushed over mine lightly. His lips moved over mine again, slowly pulling away and he rested his forehead against mine. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." I laughed quietly again. "Yep this definitely feels like my first time." I repeated. He chuckled quietly and I shook my head. "No, I want this I just... am surprised that you do." He moved his head back, his forehead creasing. "Why's that? I love you and want you... always." He stated matter-of-factly. I shrugged, feeling the blush spread to my cheeks. His free hand that was not supporting his head, slid up the front of my towel and loosened the fold I'd made to hold it in place at the top of my chest. His mouth pressed against mine firmly, his tongue brushing against my bottom lip asking for entrance. I parted my lips and sough out his tongue, gliding my own against it as my arms looped around his neck. The hand that had undone my towel's loose knot, slid down the valley between my breasts, his thumb brushing over one nipple feather-light, and I was unable to suppress the moan that came from my throat.

Fuck, everything was hyper aware of him. Why had I thought this was a bad idea again?

His mouth began to move down to my chin, along my jaw and down the column of my neck until finally his hot breath was puffing against my left breast. "You're so beautiful Bella, every inch of you." He murmured before swiping his tongue across my nipple. I let out a ragged breath and tilted my head back, arching my chest into his face. His mouth sucked on my nipple, tugging it lightly between his teeth and I let out a whimper as his hands ran up and down my sides.

"Edward," I panted as his lips made contact with my other breast. His eyes darted up to meet mine and my breath hitched as I saw his dilated pupils staring at me. "Edward please, I need you." I whispered. He released his mouth from my breast with a soft 'pop' and rolled me onto my back, hovering over me. My legs separated, and bent up as he lowered himself between them. This was how we were meant to be, how we fit. I felt his hand slid down my stomach between us, and wrap around his cock as he brushed his tip against my clit.

"Ungh... Edward..." I moaned arching my hips up against him. He smiled against my shoulder as his lips ascended up my body. "I like this ultra-sensitive Bella." I sighed as I felt him run his head up and down my slit. "Edward, I'm always sensitive to how you feel when you're touching me." He made a non-committal sound against my shoulder, whispering "maybe, but definitely not like this." He moved his face over mine looking down at me. My hands ran up and down his back and I smiled up at him. His lips darted towards mine as he slid inside me. Damn he felt amazing. I moaned loudly into his mouth at the feel of him. His hips began moving against mine in long, deep thrusts slowly building the pace up. I arched my hips up and his hand slid around to support my ass. Our lips never left each others as he began to pound into me roughly. "Fuck Bella, you're so slick and warm..." He groaned, as his breath shortened and he leaned his forehead against mine. "Cum Edward," I begged breathlessly. "Please baby, I need your cum." He dropped his head to my shoulder and grunted, pounding harder and lifting my hips up more.

And _oh fuck _there was that spot. I moaned out his name loudly and felt him smirk against my neck. "Shit Bella, I can feel you flexing around my dick. Are you going to cum all over my cock baby?" He murmured into my skin. "OH GOD EDWARD!" I cried out as he thrust right along my sweet spot and I writhed under him. "That's it baby, cum I need you to cum." He growled. He kept pounding hard and fast into me, hitting _there _each time. It wasn't much longer before the familiar tightening in my stomach released and I threw my head back as wave after wave of euphoria washed over me, hitting me like a ton of bricks. This was stronger and longer lasting than any other orgasm I'd ever had, to date. "SHIT BELLA!" He shouted against my neck, biting down roughly as my pussy clamped down around his cock and I felt him let go deep inside me. The waves didn't subside for what felt like minutes and I felt him collapse on top of me, nuzzling the curve of my neck with his nose, as he eased in and out of me slowly letting my pussy milk every drop of cum from him.

"That was... unbelievable." He panted against my sweaty skin. "Mhm." I agreed, still reveling in the post orgasm tingle that ran through my body. He lifted himself up, and pressed a firm kiss against my lips before rolling off of me and walking to the bathroom to clean up.

As I heard the shower turn on, I scooted out of bed, tossing the towel in the dirty laundry hamper and pulling out a tampon, underwear and tossing on his tshirt that had been discarded in the living room. I was cozily wrapped up in the blankets by the time he reemerged from the bathroom, wearing only a towel that was hung low on his hips. He shook his head, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he sauntered over to his side of the bed. "Bella it's Sunday, no shirt." He replied, discarding his towel and sliding underneath the covers towards me.

"But..." I began but he kept shaking his head as his hands reached for me and began tugging at the hem of the t-shirt. "Underwear can stay, but shirt has to go. I slept with a clothed Bella last night and it's not something I want to have to get used to." He replied with a grin as he helped me remove the shirt from my torso. Once it was off and had been tossed to the foot of the bed he pulled me in closer, rubbing his hands up and down my sides and back.

"See, much better." He murmured into my hair, tucking my head under his chin. I wrapped my arms around his stomach and sighed, closing my eyes. "I love you." I stated quietly as I fought my brain from shutting off for the night. "I love you too baby, now get some sleep you need your rest." He cooed into my scalp, tightening his grip around me.


	22. Chapter 22

Secrets Part 3

(before Part 2)

A/N: So lets get the disclaimer outta the way first, k? We don't own. SMeyer does -these characters are her babies. The only thing we own are the lemons, and lets face it there's a shit ton in this story.

Tots a shit ton... although, without smeyer, we would have lemons about no one... and that's just weird :P

Very good point.

so reviews for the lemons? Sound good?

sounds good

* * *

**EPOV**

The next morning I woke up with Bella's hair pushed into my face. It was perfect. I nuzzled into the top of her head, and wrapped my legs around hers a little tighter. I couldn't lose her at this point. It just couldn't happen. I felt her start to stir underneath me. I kissed the top of her head, running my fingers over her spine. She pressed a kiss to my collar bone but I spoke first.

"Hey, Love."

"Mmm, morning."

She tilted her face up to look at me, and I kissed her gently. Her cheeks were still flushed from crying and her lips were full and swollen. Even though I would have given anything to make her happy again, I knew that only time would make her feel better. She'd come to realize that this wasn't our only shot at having a baby. We were both young and healthy. Nothing would stop us. If that was what she wanted then that's what she'd get. I'd make sure of it.

She pushed her face into the crook of my neck and I wrapped my arms tightly around her. "Please tell me it's not Monday."

I laughed into her hair, "I can't lie to you, love."

Bella groaned and her fingers dug into my back. "Nooooooooo."

"Unfortunately."

"Edward?" She asked, pulling away a little to look at me. "I'm sorry about yesterday... for blowing you off--"

I pressed two fingers to her lips, cutting off her sentence. "Bella, it's fine. I love you, and I want you to be okay. You can talk to me about anything, okay?"

She nodded and kissed my fingers. "I love you, too."

I kissed her forehead. "So what if I take you out to lunch today? You think you have time for me?"

She rolled her eyes, "Of course. What time?"

I thought for a second. "Noon. I'll pick you up in front of your building."

She raised an eyebrow. "Pick me up?"

"Sure. I'll take you across town somewhere."

She hesitated, "Is that... safe?"

My heart ached at her words. "We should be fine."

I held her for a few more minutes, before she went to get ready and I headed back to the studio to get some work done before I picked her up again. Tanya'd called me twice, but never left a voicemail. I didn't call her back. She called a third time as I was waiting for Bella, and I hit ignore just as Bella got into the car.

"Hey," she said, leaning over and kissing me quickly.

"Hi." I smiled, taking her hand and beginning the drive across town. We sat in a comfortable silence the whole way there, hand in hand. I loved that I could just sit with her; that it didn't matter what I was thinking or wearing. She just loved me, unconditionally. I held her tightly to my side as we went into the restaurant, then took our seats on opposite sides of the booth.

"I missed you," I blurted.

She smiled, "I missed you too."

I wanted to tell her that I was sorry for this weekend, and for putting her through everything. But I didn't want her to be upset. I hated that. "Love, I'm really glad you came this weekend."

"Me too. Again, thanks for inviting me, it couldn't have been easy for you to have Tanya and I there."

I ran my hand through my hair nervously, "It couldn't have been easy for you. I'm sorry for her, too. She usually bails on me. I have no idea why she stuck it out this weekend."

Bella shruged, "It was okay. I think it could have been a lot worse. I'm glad I got to talk with Jasper and Alice. Alice is amazing; I'm surprised you don't talk about her more."

I laughed, "Alice is Alice. She and I haven't spoken much because she doesn't get along with Tanya. But ever since you... well, it's been a different story."

Her smile was effervescent."Well she's great. I think I'm having lunch with her later this week; she's supposed to call me tonight to confirm." She thought for a moment, "And Ben was hilarious. You were right about me liking him."

I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Yeah, I noticed."

In an instant, she grabbed my hand from across the table. "You can't tell me you were really jealous of him talking to me?"

I laughed, rolling my straw wrapper into a ball. "Talking to you, no. But kissing you? Of course."

"If it makes you feel better I rinsed with Listerine about 10 times and contemplated kissing you in front of everyone just to get the feeling off my lips."

I shrugged, "It's a start."

"Hm.. what about if I told you he kissed worse than a slobbering dog?" She suggested with a smirk.

I shifted from side to side, pretending to think about it. "Getting better."

She leaned over the table as she whispered, "What about admitting that it was horrible. And that I never want any man's lips anywhere near mine except for yours."

I nodded, closing the distance between us and kissing her softly. "I hope so. Because I love you. More than anything else."

She pulled away ever so slightly. "I love you too."

I pulled my hand from hers and cupped her cheek across the table. "Did I ever tell you I dyed my hair when I was in high school?"

She laughed a bit, and smiled."No. What color?"

I laughed, thinking about Jasper's dare. "Pink."

"Was there a particular reason why, pink?"

I shrugged, "Jasper dared me. It was his girlfriend's favorite color at the time."

She leaned into my touch, and her eyes fluttered closed. "What else has Jasper dared you to do?"

I sat back, trying to think. "Oh, God. Nearly everything. Run out in front of moving vehicles, pierce my belly button, hot wire my mom's car, dine and dash... you name it."

"And your favorite?"

"Uh...hm. My favorite? I don't know. Any of the ones I didn't lose I guess." I replied with a laugh.

She nodded, "Fair enough."

"What?" I asked, sligtly amused.

"Nothing, I was just thinking I didn't know you were so accepting of challenges." She said with a smirk. "I'm spinning my wheels trying to think of a dare _I _can put you up to."

"Uh oh," I said, eyeing her tentatively. "What did you have in mind?"

Bella leaned back in her chair as she shrugged, "I don't know yet; I have to sit on it." Her foot began to mosey up and down my calf. "Autumn or Spring?"

"Spring. I like summer too much. Would you kill me if I cut off all my hair?"

"No." She said with a pout. "But what would I grab when you're fucking me senseless?"

I ran my hand through my hair, "It would grow back, love."

"You don't say..." Her eye went wide, and I could see her

"Watch it, miss." I said, sticking my tongue out at her.

She leaned over the table, raising an eyebrow. "Or else what?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, pursing my lips. "I'll think of something. And I guarantee you won't like it."

She laughed quietly, then leaned over to kiss me. "Guess I better be okay with you cutting that hair? Maybe I could ask Ben if I could pull his?"

I pushed back from her. I knew she was joking but something wasn't sitting right with her and Ben. Maybe it was because of Tanya and Jasper's friendship or because he could have her completely and I couldn't. "You could." That. That was my brilliant come back.

She sighed and scooted closer to me. "Edward, I was kidding. You know you could go bald and dye your skin green and I'd still love you and want only you."

"I know," I said, sighing and resting my head on her shoulder. "I don't want to share you... anymore than I have to." I didn't want to share her at all, really.

"And who are you sharing me with exactly?" Bella asked, pressing her lips to my scalp. "My heart - yours. My body - yours. My present and my future - yours."

I wrapped my arms around her waist. I couldn't get her close enough. "The kids? I suppose I'll have to share you with them."

She pulled herself into my lap and readjusted her arms around me. "Well if you want we can wait a few years so that we can have some us time before you turn me into a baby maker."

I pushed my face back into her neck, taking in her scent. "Baby, It's a conundrum. I want to have babies with you, but I don't want to share you. I want you to have them, but I don't even want to think of you in that kind of pain." I sighed, kissing her steady pulse. "It's such a quandary."

**Bella sighed, "Well... we could compromise. We can wait a couple years and get in that newlywed selfish-bliss out of the way then start having children. And as for the labor, I talked with Alice and an epidural is the way to go, so we're all set. Just feed me ice chips and make sure I've been pumped with muscle relaxers. Deal?"**

I nodded against her skin, and rubbed circles on her hip. "Deal. But promise you'll love me best?" Yeah, I sounded like a two year old but whatever.

She laughed, kissing my temple. "I don't know. I hear moms get pretty attached to their first born."

I groaned, shoving my head farther into her neck. That settled it. We were never having kids.

She ran her fingers through my hair and scratching my scalp "Though, you do know, you'll have a one up on the kids, right?"

I sighed, "Why's that?"

"Because a big part of why I'll love them is because I had them with you. So it's kind of like me loving you twice. Once for you being the man of my dreams and a second time for giving me beautiful children that will look like you, to live on in this world."

"You're trying to make me feel better."

Bella pressed a kiss to my temple, "I'm just trying to tell you why I want children with you. Why it's important for me to have another set of your green eyes to look into. Why at the end of the day I love you more than I'm even capable of attempting to love anyone else. You're my world, Edward."

I sighed, into her skin and pulled her closer, "I love you, Bella."

I could feel her smiling against my skin. "You better. You're stuck with me and our children."

I smiled into her skin and sniffed her again. "I do. I promise."

"Can we ditch the rest of the day and pretend it's Sunday again?" She whispered, sucking on the skin at the base of my neck. "I feel gypt out of my Sunday activities."

I kissed the side of her neck, "Can you do that? Are you allowed?" Tanya had never done _anything_ remotely like that. Ever.

"Am I allowed? I have no idea. But right now on a scale of 1-10 how much do I care if it is? About a two." She pulled out her phone and dialed as I watched in awe. "Hey Mike, it's Bella. You're probably at lunch or on a very urgent call. I just wanted to let you know I'm taking the rest of the day to handle some personal business. If you need anything call my cell, otherwise I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks!" She flipped her phone shut and looked at me, "How's that for 'allowed'?"

I shook my head, "I don't want you to get in trouble for ditching, love."

She rolled her eyes playfully, "Did you not hear my phone call? I'm not 'ditching', I'm taking care of personal business. And right now, that is _you_." She said with a kiss.

I rolled my eyes, laughing against her lips. "I need a lot of attention, too. Bella, I need so much. Do you think you could help me?"

She nodded, her hand slipping down to palm my cock through my jeans. "I can... and, I think I have your dare."

I nuzzled her neck, closing my eyes. "Shoot."

"Cum for me right here, without making a sound." She whispered, sinking her teeth into my skin and unzipping my pants.

My breath hitched as she angled her body so that my hard on was in between us both. "You really want me to do this?" I asked, my voice shaking as her hand began moving up and down my length. Bella nodded, leaning her forehead to mine. "I need this."

I raised an eyebrow, keeping my eyes trained on hers. She picked up her pace, squeezing my shaft and swiping her thumb over the tip with every upswing. I knew I wasn't going to last long. I kept my eyes trained on Bella, trying to keep my breathing even. No talking, I reminded myself. Nothing. I leaned in and kissed her softly as a napkin found it's way over my cock. I fought the groan that was lodged in my throat as Bella started to speak. "Edward? Baby? Cum for me? Please? I want your hot cum all over my hand. Please?" I bit my lip and my eyes snapped shut as I exploded into the napkin, thrusting my hips into her hand. She kept moving slowly around me as I caught my breath, and cleaned me up once I was through. She rolled up the napkin and tucked my cock away before pecking me on the lips.

"I knew you could do it." She said with a smile.

I smirked back at her. "Wait till you see what else I can do."

She leaned back in, brushing her lips against my own. "I have an idea."

I laughed, kissing her. "Baby, you have no idea."

**BPOV**The rest of the afternoon was spent just as we had roughly planned, tangled up naked in my bedroom sheets. There was no doubt in my mind that any worry I'd had about having no sexual prowess was blown away the instant my body felt Edward's. I couldn't seem to get enough of any part of him; his lips, his hands, his cock... I needed to feel as much of him as I could in a day. I would have to research ways to get a job that allowed me the flexibility to work from home so I could hang out at Edward's studio and maul him whenever the need surfaced. Perhaps those crazy 3am infomercials about licking envelopes and making 5k a month weren't a scam?

Edward and I were curled up in bed, trying to catch our breath after round 4 since we got home and round 6 overall. Apparently my libido was in overdrive during 'that time of the month' - who knew? "Beatles or Beach Boys?" I asked as I settled against his chest and felt one of his arms wrap protectively over my shoulders, pulling me in closer.

"Beatles. Sex or Paradise?"

I laughed softly, "What is Paradise if I don't get to have sex with you?"

He rolled his eyes, smiling down. "Oh, Bella. And you say I'm the cheese ball. Okay, how about this one: Where are we living once we have this sprawling family of ours?"

"Hm. I don't know, I guess that depends on if we decide I should work or stay at home with the chicklets."

"Why?"

"Because if we decide that I should keep my job to help with the expenses of the family, we'll be somewhat limited to a metropolitan area." I looked up at him resting my chin on his collar bone. "Why where did you want to raise them?"

"I could stay home with them." He offered, meeting my eyes as he glanced down towards me.

I smiled and leaned up, brushing my lips against his. "Would you want to? I mean, what about your shoots?"

"I won't let my kids grow up without a father." He replied, sighing heavily.

My lips pushed against his gently. "They wouldn't Edward. Even if you wanted to work I know you wouldn't let yourself get that wrapped up either, plus I wouldn't let you get away with not being a part of their lives on a daily basis."

His hand lifted to brush the hair out of my face, looking at me sadly. "I couldn't."

I sighed, cupping his jaw with one hand and nodding. "I know. That's why you're going to be an incredible dad. But just because you want to be there as much as you can for them doesn't mean you need to sacrifice your career for them. We'll make it work. I want you to be able to balance the career you've established and love so much now, with our family. We'll work on that together, okay?"

His lips turned up and he gave me a half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Okay."

I scrunched my brows together. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just... hate the idea of being like my father. Of being that way with them."

I sat up, straddling him and gripping his face with both my hands. "Edward, you aren't your father. You're warm, and sweet, and loving and you care about everyone around you. You aren't going to treat your children the way your father treated you and Jasper and Rosalie, alright? You're better than that; you're going to be a better father than he could ever even have hoped to be. And we're going to do this together, we're going to raise them and discipline them and spoil them and teach them... together. It's you and I."

"I hope so, love."He replied, running a hand through my hair and resting it on the back of my neck.

I shook my head. "No hope necessary. Even if you slip, which I don't think you will, I'll be there to kick your ass." I replied grinning, and pressing my lips against his. "Our children will need their dad and they only have one and that's you."

I felt him smile as he murmured against my mouth. "I love you."

My lips moved against his again slowly, parting his lips with my tongue. I felt his glide along my own and his hands slid down to my hips as he sighed into my mouth. At the sound of my cell phone ringing I groaned, pulling away reluctantly. Edward's long arms reached to the floor and lifted my purse up to the bed so I could fish out my phone without moving from my position above him.

"Bella Swan." I exhaled into the phone.

"Alice Cullen!" Alice's voice chirped into my ear. I grinned and Edward raised an eyebrow, mouthing 'work?' out silently. I shook my head, covering the receiver. "It's Alice," I whispered.

"BELLA! Who is that there with you? Is that my brother in law?"

I laughed, and nodded. "Yeah Alice, he's here."

'Ooooo. Are you doing the nasty? You know, you really shouldn't have picked up if you're like... humping."

I felt my cheeks turn pink at her accusation. "No Alice," I laughed softly. "You cock blocked me."

"Oh... OH! Shit, I"m soooooo sorry! EDWARD! EDWARD I'M SORRY!" She yelled into the receiver. I laughed turning the phone towards him, so he could catch the last few words. I moved the phone back to my ear. "It's okay Alice, we can take a break from the marathon." I paused, feeling Edward's hands roam up and down my sides slowly. "So, Alice what's the plan? Are we on for lunch tomorrow?"

"Actually, that's why I was calling... how would you feel about dinner tonight instead? We could invite the boys!" She asked excitedly. I chuckled at her amusement, and moved the phone to the side. "Alice wants to know if we want to do dinner with her and Jasper tonight." I said as I looked at him. "Are you free?" I asked, hating that the subtext of that question was really _Do you have to go back home to Tanya tonight_?

He nodded, sitting up and placing a soft kiss against my clavical."Yeah, Alice we're good." I replied into my phone, smiling brightly at Edward, who was looking at me with the same dopey grin. "What time and where?"

"Um you know that place? About a mile and a half from our house that used to be next to the Thai fusion place, but then they moved so now it's next to the tex-mex place? It's there! Edward knows."

"Umm... place near your house that used to be next to a Thai fusion but is now tex-mex?" I repeated, looking at him for confirmation. His brows furrowed and I could almost see the wheels spinning in his head as he replied, "The one that used to be owned by that guy who sold the sandals from a cart?"

"The one that used to be owned by the guy who sold... sandals from a cart?" I repeated to Alice.

I could practically hear her jumping up and down with elation as she responded. "That's the one!"

I nodded towards Edward, thankful that the whole thing was cleared up and confirmed. "Okay he's got it. What time?"

"Seven? Does that give you enough time for copulation?"

"Hmm..." I glanced up and down at Edward's naked form, shaking my head. "Better make it 8."

"Kay! Can't wait to talk babies and burping! See you tonight!" She replied decidedly before the phone went dead. I hung up the phone staring at it for a moment before asking quietly, "Edward?"

"Bella?"

"Did you..." I began, clearing my throat. "Did you happen to call Jasper to let him know about the baby?" I asked, biting my lip.

His breath hitched, before releasing out a low puff of air. "Love, I'm sorry... I forgot to call them."

I shook my head, my voice straining as I tried to get it out without it shaking. "No, no... it's okay. I'll just call Alice back before dinner and let her know." I said, not looking up. Was this going to hurt this much every time it came up?

His arms were wrapped around me protectively in an instant. "I'll do it, love. Don't cry. It'll work out, remember? It's okay... you're okay." He said as if saying it for his benefit as much as my own. His lips pressed against my forehead and lingered as he murmured against me, "I love you."

I wrapped my arms around him and nodded, taking a deep breath. "I know, I just wish we hadn't said anything, that _I _hadn't said anything until it was a sure thing. Next time, we'll wait okay?"

He moved a few stray hairs from my eyes and kissed my forehead again. "Yeah, that's probably for the best. I'm glad you told me though. Bella, you would have gone through this all by yourself. That probably would have been worse."

"No, because then you wouldn't be hurting too. So it's almost worse that I told you." I said, sighing and shaking my head. "No matter, everything's out there. I just want to concentrate on us, okay?"

"Okay."

My lips brushed against his and I tossed my cell phone onto the floor below us. I pulled away just enough to get a breath. "So, you never answered the question. Where do you want us to raise our children?"

"Where ever you are." He whispered, placing a quick kiss on the side of my mouth.

I rolled my eyes. "Not an answer. Where would you _prefer _for us to raise our children?"

He pulled away, looking me square in the eyes. His jaw set and his voice was serious as he spoke. "Honestly? It doesn't matter. I really have no preference. Just not out in the boonies."

"Sounds good to me." I murmured, moving my lips down his neck softly. "Do you think our Sundays are ever going to get old?" I asked, continuing to trail open mouthed kisses along the column of his throat.

"Yeah... in maybe... fifty, sixty years."

I laughed softly against his skin, sucking lightly on his collar bone. "If I still have the flexibility in my hips to ride you in fifty, sixty years I'll be impressed. Let's not even discuss the chances that you'll be able to get it up when you're 75."

He chuckled, running his hand up and down my spine lazily. "Baby, for you I'll always be able to get it up. I don't care what the hell I have to do... I'll find a way to get in you. I'll be fucking you until the day I die."

My arms looped around his neck and looked up at him. "What if I die first?"

He groaned, burying his face against my shoulder. "Don't even say that."

"I'm just saying... with the amount of times I land myself in the ER in any given year there's a good chance it'll be me first."

His arms wrapped around my waist tightly, pulling me harder against him. "Really, don't say that."

My fingers ran up and scratched at the nape of his neck, as I placed a kiss into his hair. "Okay, I'll shut up. But just for the record I expect at least another 80 years worth of Sundays with you."

"At least."

My lips began a re-descent down his neck. God, he tasted amazing right at the curve where his neck and shoulder met. Pretty sure my mouth was never going to tire of sucking, licking and biting that spot. "Where are we going on our honeymoon?" I mumbled against his skin, grinding against his hips.

"Bed." He murmured so quietly that I barely heard him, even as close as I was.

I laughed quietly against his shoulder. "So camping out at your studio then?"

"That works."

"Mmk, but can we at least venture out of the bedroom? You're not the only one that wants to try the couch." I asked, as my lips slid along his jawline.

His head tilited giving my mouth better access to scrape along his chisled chin and down the column of his neck. "What... whatever you want, love. We can even go to bed in an exotic location."

I lifted my hips, slowly sliding down onto his length, hearing him emit a low throaty growl. I loved that I could get that kind of reaction from him. My lips pressed solidly against his, our mouths moving rhythmically against each others as I rolled my hips on each down thrust, grinding further down onto him. His hands roamed my back, caressing it gently as I moved against him. It wasn't long before I was nearing the edge and Edward's body sensed it as he picked up the pace and met each of my thrusts rougly. I buried my face in his shoulder as I came hard around him, whimpering out his name reverently. He moved my hips up and down a few more times before grabbing my ass and pushing me as far down as I could go, sending me over the edge a second time as he spilled himself deep inside me, whispering my name into my hair as he took heavy breaths, trying to calm his heart rate. I panted against his neck, my chest rising and falling against his as I felt him start to soften inside me. He pressed a firm kiss into my hair whispering, "I love you." I smiled looking up at him and kissing his lips softly. "Love you too."

His hands continued to slide up and down my ribcage as he pulled me closer. "Bella, I think we should get a fridge with one of those water dispenser things in it."

I laughed and rolled off him slowly. "Why?"

"Cause they're cool. They have the ice and the water... you can even get one with a TV." He said, shrugging a bit as if his reasons should be obvious.

"You are one weird, bird you know that?" I asked, curling up against his chest and nuzzled his shoulder with my cheek.

"And for some reason, I'm under the impression that you love me."

"Funny how that works." I said, kissing his neck and sighing against him, shutting my eyes. "Baby?"

"Hm?"

"Can we take a tiny nap before we have another round and have to get ready to see your brother?"

I felt the vibrations of his laughter against my head as I pushed my head further into the crook of his neck. "Sure, love. Sleep."

I snuggled my body up to him even closer and let out a quiet exhale against his neck. His arms found their way around my body, flushing me against him as his leg, draped over mine locking me in. I felt him place a kiss against my forehead and before I could even say 'I love you' I was out.

**EPOV**

Bella and I pulled up to the tiny restaurant about two hours later. I took a deep breath before turning to her and kissing her forehead lightly. "We could go home if you aren't up for them." I didn't want her to be melancholy just because Alice and Jasper were... well, because they had everything we wanted.

She shook her head, smiling over at me. "No, I want to. But do you want to go home?"

I grinned at her, "Kinda."

Bella laughed and smacked my arm playfully and I rolled my eyes at her as we got out of the volvo. She grabbed my hand almost the second we were upright, and we walked slowly to the front doors. I let Bella walk in ahead of me, and I was about to ask the hostess for Jasper when I heard Alice's squealing.

"Edward! Bella! OVER HERE!"

Christ, the woman's bloated like no other, and she still manages to have the energy of a seven year old. I waved, tucking Bella's arm carefully underneath mine and rubbing her thumb. I shook hands with my brother as Bella and Alice hugged it out. I'll never understand why women do that in a million years. We took our seats and there was a brief awkward silence during which Alice turned purple. I rolled my eyes, snatching Bella's hand and playing with her fingers in my lap. "Alice, just say it."

"I'm so sorry you aren't knocked up." She blurted, her eyes going wide as her hands clamped over her mouth.

Bella blushed, looking down at the table cloth. "It's okay." She replied softly. She lifted her eyes to mine, and smiled. "We're going to try again."

Jasper's eyes darted between us, "You are?"

I nodded, squeezing Bella's hand lightly. "Yeah, we are."

He raised an eyebrow, "So you have a plan then? Like a twelve step?"

I mimicked his posture and tone, "What are you implying?"

"I think you know." Was all he said.

I flipped Bella's hand and started drawing lines in her palm as I stared at them, daring him to say another word. Instead, Alice spoke. "Did you still want Max this weekend?"

I looked at Bella, dumbfounded. She shrugged, "I guess..."

"Awesome! I'll drop him off friday night at... where?"

"Um, our- I mean, my place?"

I watched as Alice's smile got impossibly wider, "Okay. I'll call you later in the week and get directions."

Bella nodded, "Sounds good."

I felt Bella's hand curl around my thigh, and I smiled at her softly. After that, dinner conversation was light, with updates on the new baby and what was going on with my mom, since she hadn't made it to the barbeque. I made a mental note to call her later in the week, and get lunch. I'd been so neglectful of her. As Jasper and I divvied up the bill, Alice and Bella walked outside.

Jasper looked up at me, his eyes cold. "She stayed?"

I nodded solemnly.

"You must be thrilled."

"What's wrong with you?" I sneered, "Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"Because, idiot," he hissed, "You still have a finacée! And I know for a fact that you haven't broken up with her!"

I raised an eyebrow, sitting back. "Really? And how, pray tell, would you know that? Unless you're speaking to her?"

Jasper blushed, and I knew I had him. "How long?"

He shrugged, tapping the pen on the table cloth. "A month or so."

"And?"

"Nothing. She just... she's confused about what's going on with you."

I felt the anger rise from my toes. I couldn't believe that he was taking her side. "Jasper, you're my brother!"

"I know, but talking to her again, and remembering" He hesitated, making sure Alice wasn't around. "how I loved her."

I took a deep breath, letting his words sink in. "So you... and her... and--"

He held up a hand, "Only for a month, but the love thing was much more platonic than anything. It was before you, Edward. Well before you."

I shook my head, "It doesn't matter. You dated my girlfriend... and you never told me?"

He scoffed, "Please. You're cheating on her, and you're calling me out for with holding the truth? That's rich."

"No, it's not that. It's just that I'm getting the feeling that you're siding with her."

"It's not about sides."

"No, you're right. It's not." I said, standing. "It should be obvious."

I walked out without another word, pecking Alice on the cheek before grabbing Bella's hand and going to the car.

"Everything alright?" Bella asked as I peeled out of the parking lot.

"Yeah."

She took my hand in hers, "You don't look fine."

"Why'd you ask if you already knew the answer?"

She dropped my hand and pushed it away, "Forget it."

I sighed, pulling over and shutting off the car. I looked over at Bella, but she was looking out the window and away from me. I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. "Bella, I'm sorry. That's not fair, I just... Jasper's just being such an asshole."

"That's no reason for you to take it out on me." She said, her voice small.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Will you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," She said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "I don't like being a world away from you."

"I'm sorry," I said unbuckling both our seat belts and pulling her over to me.

She snuggled into my shoulder, sighing. "It's okay. Whatever. What happened?"

I buried my face in the top of her head, "Just stupid Jasper and Tanya... I guess they dated."

Bella froze in my lap. "And you're jealous?"

"Jealous?" I laughed, "No. I'm just upset that he's basically on her side. About you and I."

"I knew he didn't like me," She muttered.

I kissed her forehead lightly, "It's not that. He just likes Tanya better."

She laughed into my chest, "Oh, yeah. All better."

"But you know what?"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter if he does or not. I love you. And that's all that matters."

She turned in my lap so that she was straddling me. "True."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and latched my lips to her neck. Bella moaned and her hands came up to tangle in my hair, and I kissed my way across her chest. "Edward... Edward..." She breathed, moaning a little. All of her noises went straight to my cock and I was hard in an instant. I groaned against her skin, and pulled down her top and the cup of her bra so that I could take her nipple into my mouth. She gasped as I bit and sucked at it, and my hand drifted down her stomach and to the catch on her pants. She grabbed my wrist suddenly. "No condom."

I smirked against her skin, "I don't need to be in you to get you off."

She sighed contentedly and my fingers went to work on her clit. She gasped and moaned, as her hips started to grind into my hard on. Fuck, that shit felt good. She kept rocking into me, harder and harder as my fingers worked frantically over her nub. "Bella? I need you to cum for me, Baby. Please? Cum for me." She grunted and pushed her hips into me hard, as her upper body arched away from me. The pressure from her hips, coupled with the rolling she was doing with her pelvis pushed me farther. Too far. I leaned back into her and came in my pants, her name on my lips. I gasped into her skin, and tried to catch my breath. I looked up sleepily at Bella, and she had a lazy smile on her face. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head, kissing her exposed breast. "Don't be. It was fun."

She leaned down, taking my face in her hands. "I hope I never stop having fun with you, Edward Cullen."

I leaned up, pressing my lips to hers. "I promise, Isabella Swan. You never will."


	23. Chapter 23

keeeelllllllllerrrrelllerrriesssss... come out and POV with me! :D

Done and Doner!

WOOOO! Kels, you know what I love almost as much as our awesome POV time?

Our new collab account here on ffnet?

MHM! Wanna tell the chick-a-dees all about it?

So to avoid confusion and getting questions about who did what story, Bels and I here made a new account: hellabellakellas. We'll be posting 1-shots and future multi-chap stories over there so make sure to check it out and set an alert for it! :)

But don't forget to review over here first... My september resolution is to start replying to all of them again. *fingers crossed*. But yeah, btw, SMeyer owns, although I think that if she were reading this, she'd laugh at our a/n's. I think we're witty :P

Bels... it's mid September. Don't people make resolutions at the beginning of the month?

Uhhh... I'm on KelBel time?

That works! So just as a recap: read, review and check out hellabellakellas...

* * *

**BPOV**We made it home singing to old Journey songs on the radio, and it seemed like Edward's mini rain cloud had lifted a bit, which I was happy about. I just wish me being with him wasn't causing him so much anguish with his brother, and I vowed to ask Alice the next time I saw her, what I could do to help the situation.

He pulled into my apartment complex and found a spot a ways down from my car. After shutting off the ignition he sat there with his hands on the lower part of the steering wheel, looking at them intently.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked turning to face him after I had unbuckled.

"Yeah... I'm okay." He replied, smiling down at the wheel.

I laughed softly and put my hand on his thigh. "So, are you coming home or do you have to go back to Tanya's?"

He shook his head, laughing dryly. "Bella, even if I left you right now there's no way I'd be going back to Tanya's."

I wasn't sure how to take that. I mean, part of me was thrilled that he wouldn't be going back to her place, but he hadn't really answered my question. "So, does that mean you're coming upstairs then?" I asked hopefully.

"Only if you want me to." He smirked, as if already knowing what my answer would be.

"No, I think I want you to go." I deadpanned, biting my lip to hide my smile.

He shrugged aloofly and nodded. "Okay. Love you."

I nodded decidedly and opened the door, stepping out and bending to grab my purse. "Oh by the way," I replied nonchalantly as I bent down to grab my purse from the floor. "You've got 5 minutes to get upstairs and in my shower. I believe we have some cleanup to do." I finished, shutting the door and walking towards my apartment.

As I opened my apartment door, I tossed my purse onto the couch shutting the door behind me... just in case. I really hoped he caught on this time, instead of the breakfast incident a few weeks ago. I stripped down and turned on the shower, staring at my reflection in the mirror and poking at the skin on my body while the water warmed up. Once steam started pouring from the top of the shower I slid the door open and stepped inside. I'd just run my hair under the spray when I heard the bathroom door creak opened, and Edward's torso came into view.

Thank god for clear shower doors.

He threw me his irresistible crooked grin as he lifted his shirt above his head and yanked down his jeans and boxers. His cock was already semi-hard and it thumped against his lower abdomen.

"Took you long enough." I huffed, grinning wildly as he opened the door and stepped inside, sliding it closed.

"Half of my allotted time."

"Felt like longer." I whispered, taking a step closer to him and wrapping one arm around his neck as the other slid between our bodies and wrapped around his shaft. We moved under the shower head and I moved my hand away long enough to lather up soap in it before sliding it up and down his cock. He let out a deep breath, and leaned his forehead against my shoulder, panting against my skin. I twirled my fingers around his length and dropped my hand down to massage his balls. His breath was quickening. "God Bella, that feels so good." He moaned softly against my neck before taking my skin between his teeth and biting down. "Ah, shit.." I whimpered as I picked up its pace and his hips thrusting against my hand. My thumb grazed his tip before making small circles against it and moving back down. "Fuck Bella... mmmm." He continued to groan. "Cum Edward." I murmured into his ear. "I love it when you cum for me baby." He grunted and made a few non-committal sounds before pressing his lips hard against mine, shoving his tongue into my mouth. I moaned at the sudden contact, my hand that was wrapped around his neck pushing his face against mine. I tangled my tongue around his and tugged at the strands of hair at the nape of his neck, groaning into his mouth. I abruptly felt him tense up in my hand and warm cum spurt out onto my wrist and forearm as his nose took in and released heavy breaths, his mouth still firmly planted on my own. I smiled under the kiss and pulled away, catching my own breath as he cleaned me up and we took turns showering.

Once we had finished and wrapped ourselves up in towels we made our way back to the living room and cuddled up, naked under the quilt that was thrown over the back of the sofa.

Edward grabbed the remote while I settled against his back; his free arm snaking around my waist pulling me tighter against him. We settled on reruns of COPS and I tried to pay attention as his lips dragged lazily against my neck and shoulder. "Do you think these criminals like, tell their family to watch COPS once they realize they're being filmed?"

"I have a feeling they act worse once they realize they're on film. That way they maximize the likelihood of their spot airing. So yeah. That one call they get. "MOM I'M GONNA BE ON COPS!"

"If I ever got arrested on COPS I'd try to hide from the camera not go all 'look it's my 15 minutes!' on the spot. What would you do?"

I felt his hot breath against his shoulder as he puffed out a laugh. "Probably cry."

"Aww, baby. Well, I'd bail you out and try and get that episode erased before the air date for you then." I replied, lacing my fingers around his on my stomach.

His lips pressed against my neck and his nose nuzzled my earlobe."Thanks, love."

"Mhm. Anything for you."

"Jasper got arrested once for running out in front of cars."

I laughed and turned my head, looking up at him. "Really? I didn't realize that was illegal. Stupid yes, illegal... no."

"Well... he wasn't like arrested arrested. More like, he was nine and I dared him and the old lady almost hit him with her buick. So she called the cops and they 'detained' him. And I cried."

"Aww poor baby." I cooed, laughing quietly under my breath. "Did he rat you out?"

He chuckled, shaking his head and smiling at the memory. "No. He held strong. My dad's the one that got it out of me."

"Lame. My dad was always really good at getting anything out of me and Emmett too. Course, I guess he had to be, being a cop and all."

"I'm so screwed, aren't I?" He asked, as I felt his body tense against mine.

I laughed and turned around to place a quick kiss on his lips. "What do you mean?"

"Your dad... he's gonna like... murder me."

"No he won't. He'll love you."

"You think?" He asked, a twinge of hope in his voice.

"Mhm. He'll love you because when you meet him, he'll see how incredibly happy you make me and he won't have any other choice. Plus, if that doesn't work he'll love you because I'm bringing home a guy that isn't James." I paused, scoffing. "He hates James."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Honestly, I'm not sure who hates James more my brother or my dad. Though, only my brother has acted on the hate - that I know of." I sighed, and turned my back towards him and leaning against his chest. I hated that Emmett didn't even _try _to tolerate James anymore. At least my father was stoic and seemingly apathetic when James and I went to visit.

"...and this bothers you?"

"Well yeah, I mean, doesn't it bother you that Alice and Tanya don't get along?"

He bit his lip, thinking about it. "It used to. When Tanya mattered."

I nodded against him. "Well when you put it that way I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I mean, it's not like James is ever going to go back to Forks with me again. The next time I go, it'll be with you." My body froze as the words tumbled out. I hadn't been thinking... shit, was that too much? I bit my lip and waited.

"Really?" He whispered, lowly.

I felt a chill go down my spine, and I murmured apprehensively. "I hope so. If you want, that is."

He wiggled, readjusting me in his arms and smiling. "I do."

My body relaxed against his and I nuzzled his neck, turning to kiss it softly. "I love you Edward."

"Love you, Bella."

I kissed his neck again before tossing off the blanket and standing up. He looked at me completely confused. I raised an eyebrow in his direction and moved my hands to my hips. "Well?"

He looked from side to side, even more bewildered. "Well what?"

My lips creased into a bright smile. "Bed?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Couch?"

I laughed and pointed towards the bedroom. "The condoms are in there."

"And my cock is right here." He mused in the same sarcastic tone. "Plus, I was promised the couch would get a shot. We still have to test it." He grinned.

I sighed and turned around, shaking my head. "Fine." I said feigning exasperation and hiding my smirk as I walked into the bedroom. I looked on the dresser and was about to open up the nightstand drawer when I felt him behind me.

"I was getting the condoms Edward."

"Oh." He chuckled. "I thought you'd changed your mind." I pulled out the box from the drawer and turned to face him, waving them in front of his face. "Yeah, like I'd turn you down."

"You might." He said, his face falling slightly.

I shook my head, lacing my arms around his neck and whispering against his lips. "Never." He closed the gap and pressed his mouth against mine. Before I knew it, I was getting lost in his taste and he was laying us down on the bed.

"No reason we can't have fun on the bed _and _the couch tonight is there?" He hummed against my lips. I shook my head, grinning. "Nope. We still have a handful of these left." I replied shaking the box of condoms I was still gripping. His lips slid to my neck as he buried his face in my shoulder. "Good, because it may be awhile before we leave the bedroom."

**EPOV**

Kissing Bella had become a religious experience for me. It seemed that every time my lips came in contact with her flesh, a new sound or twitch or moan was established. And this time was no different. I kept her propped up with one hand on the small of her back as I gently lowered us down to the bed. She clung to me as though I would vanish, and not gonna lie, I didn't hate it. Her legs wrapped around my waist, trapping my cock in between our bodies. I groaned as she began to move.

"Fuck, Bella..." I whispered, moving my face to begin an assault on her shoulder. Bella stopped moving abruptly. I winced into her skin and my dick felt like it was going to launch off of my body.

"Baby, I want you to cum in me... not on me."

I lifted my face and pressed my lips to her passionately. I loved her, I really did, and nothing would ever keep me from her or from this. I really couldn't think of one single thing. Even though her lips stayed attached to mine, I felt her pull away a little and roll the condom on. Once she was finished, and her arms were back around my neck, I lifted her slowly and lowered her onto my cock. I watched her carefully as she took me in, her mouth slightly a gape, and her eyes wide. When she was in my lap again, her eyes fluttered closed, "Edward..."

My face was once again buried in her skin as she slowly began rocking over my cock, stretching herself out completely for me. I moved my hands down her back to gently cup her ass and guide her up and down my length. She started slowly at first, taking her time, but then it became too much. Bella began impaling herself on my cock, her tits bouncing in front of me. I leaned in and took one hardened nipple into my mouth, biting and teasing it until Bella began shrieking with desire. "Come on baby... I need you to cum for me... cum all over my cock." I cooed into her ripe flesh, my eyes closing involuntarily as I tried to stave off my own orgasm. I loved it when she came around me and I knew it would be nearly impossible to have that if I went first.

"Oh shit... fuck... E-edward...." Bella moaned, pushing her face into my shoulder as I felt her walls flutter around me before finally clamping down and milking my cock.

"Bella..." I gasped as I thrust into her again and she gripped me, basically holding my cock in place. She drew herself up weakly a few more times, and I blew into the condom, biting down hard on her shoulder. I pushed into her feebly a few more times before finally pulling out. I kissed the now marred flesh of her shoulder, then back up to her lips. She kissed me slowly, as though we had all the time in the world.

It was then, as she pulled away and smiled softly at me that I realized we did.

I wouldn't ever run out of time with my Bella.

Tuesday morning sun came too quickly, and I was out of Bella's bed by seven. I called Tanya on my way to the studio, but I only got her voicemail. Figures. I knew I had to do something about her but I wasn't sure what. There was only so much that could happen when the other party wouldn't talk to you. Wednesday couldn't be duller, and by Thursday the ache in my chest from missing Bella was raw. Going on only text messages and short voice mails wasn't enough to make me forget about how much I needed her. Friday wouldn't be anything but my Bella and me. Oh, and Max.

Minor detail.

I made my way back to Bella's apartment that evening, giddy at the thought of spending the night with the two of them. My heart ached when I remembered what we'd be missing... what we didn't have. But I loved Bella, and if she said that we'd try again, then we would.

We would.

I let myself into her apartment, grinning like an idiot. "Honey! I'm home!"

Bella's head whipped around from where she was sitting on the couch. "Hey, baby."

I laughed and went over to her, crashing down over her and smothering my mouth with hers. "I fucking missed you."

She giggled underneath me, her hands coming up to cup my cheeks. "I fucking missed you too."

I pushed my face into her neck, taking a deep breath. "I would have given my left nut to see you this week."

She laughed, reaching down to grab my junk. "Don't say such things. How are we going to have a baby if your balls have been maimed?"

I shook my head, pushing her legs apart with my knee. "We'd adopt."

She shook her head as her legs came up on either side of me. "No, I want babies _with _you. Half the fun is making them." She smirked.

"This is true," I countered. "But then again... Lance Armstrong made a baby with one ball. And cancer."

"Yeah, but still; I like you best fully intact. " She cooed, her lips reaching up to mine.

I grinned into her neck, nipping at it playfully. "I love you."

I felt her head tip toward mine as her hands ran affectionately up and down my back. "Love you."

"Sooooo... you think we can cancel on Alice?"

She laughed and shook her head. "I doubt it. She seemed pretty excited to hand him over the other night."

I groaned into Bella's skin. "I can't have my way with you in front of a baby."

"He'll only be here til midnight or so. Alice mentioned her and Jasper going on a date and I quote 'fucking in the backseat like bunnies' then coming to pick Max up." (nips at his bottom lip) "Then I'm all yours."

I sat up and hovered over her, "I thought he was spending the night?"

"No, Alice had a minor freak out and admitted she wasn't ready for him to not be near her when she was asleep. So he's leaving tonight."

I grinned wickedly down at her, "I might need you to check my balls then, love."

She kissed me hard, grinding her hips into mine. "Unfortunately," she sighed, "That'll have to wait til he goes home."

I pouted down at her. "Lame."

She smirked and began palming my semi-hard cock through my jeans. "Fraid so, love."

My head fell back to her shoulder and I moaned. "Do you really want me to answer the door with wood?"

Her breath was hot against my neck. "I just want to do a quick inspection to make sure both balls are there. I can give a more thorough exploration later."

My breath was coming out ragged against her skin, "I'm about to cream my pants."

She laughed softly as she got into my pants and began fisting my cock. "That's okay, you can clean up while I answer the door."

My eyes snapped shut and I knew this was bad. Very, very bad. My sister-in-law and nephew were expected any minute, and my girlfriend was jacking me off on the couch. Before I had another chance to try and restrain myself, my hips were pumping into her hand and I was cumming. Hard. "FUCK!" I wailed, pressing my lips roughly to her skin as she whimpered against me. I leaned up and kissed her again.

"That... was very, very naughty. And, definitely not PG." I said, smirking against her cheek.

She kissed my temple. "Are you complaining Mr. Cullen?"

"No. So, the verdict?"

"Both fully present. In fact," she looked down between our bodies, "You should probably get up so I can change my shirt since it seems like my top caught all of the mess."

I looked down at the cum on her shirt. "You know... I'm fairly adept at removing your clothing."

She puffed out a small laugh. "Really?"

I sat back and pulled her up with me, then tugged her shirt over her head and tossing it aside. "Really."

"Efficient." She nodded, and stood up to head into her bedroom. "So what do you think we should do with Max tonight? I don't want him to be bored."

I tucked my cock away and thought. "We could take him to a movie?"

"Do 2 year olds have the attention span for movies?"

"Yeah. I took him to see umm... what was that one? With the elephant? and that kangaroo thing?"

She walked back out and plopped back down next to me. "No idea. I haven't been to a kids movie since I babysat in high school."

I scoffed at her, "You're missing out, love."

She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, then wrapped my arm around her. "Evidently." She thought for a moment. "So movie then? Should we look at what's playing?"

"We could just ask Alice. She'd probably know." I said, kissing the top of her head and wrapping my arms around her.

"You're obviously going to be the rational parent. I've spent all day trying to think of things we could do with him to keep him entertained."

I laughed, smoothing her hair off of her forehead. "What'd you come up with?"

"I Googled late night jungle gyms." She huffed, "Nothing age appropriate came up."

"Oh, Bella. He has to sleep, you know. You should have been researching lullabies."

She nuzzled her face into my neck. "Ugh, see I don't even know toddler sleep schedules." She groaned frustratedly, "I'm going to be a horrible mom. Taking our children to parks at 9pm and not letting them see movies til their tweens."

I cuddled her closer, "Bella, you're going to be an amazing mother. The very best. I was only teasing, love."

"Only because you'll be there telling me 'hunny let the kids sleep.' and 'they can see movies starting at age 2.'"She sighed, "We're really doing this, right Edward? Like all of it. You, me ever after with kids and maybe a pet of some sort?"

I kissed her part, smiling into her hair. 'Of course, love. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have be the mother of my children than you." I kissed her again, just because I could. "And who knows? You could be protecting their brains by not letting them see movies till... eleven."

She laughed, shaking her head to look up at me when we heard the doorbell ring. As wonderful as my nephew was, I wasn't sure I was ready for him right yet. I sighed, kissing her forehead one more time. "Show time."

She nodded, and pulled her lip into her mouth as she moved toward the door.

Here goes nothing.

**BPOV**I wondered if Edward had seen me jump a bit when the doorbell rang. If he had, he didn't mention it as we walked over to the door together. His arms wrapped around me from behind, as I opened the door.

"BELLA!" Alice squealed wrapping her arms around me tightly as I was briefly a Bella sandwich between her and Edward. She pulled away, looking up at Edward. "Are you lovebirds ready for a introductory crash course in parenting?" She giggled turning towards Jasper who had a very sleepy looking Max in his arms.

Edward dropped his hold on me and reached out towards Jasper. "Gimme."

Alice and I laughed, as she handed me a small duffel bag full of things for him. "His blanket, a few toys and a few other things are in there that you might need. We shouldn't be more than 4 or 5 hours. Jasper tried to tire him out this afternoon so he wouldn't be too fussy with you guys." She informed us, stepping back to wrap her arms around her husband. Edward bounced Max in his arms lightly, while exchanging an uncomfortable-to-witness glare with Jasper.

Seeming to notice it too, Alice took a breath and moved towards her son, kissing the top of his head softly. "Momma loves you." She whispered before turning to look at Jasper. "You ready?" He nodded, still staring down Edward. "Yea Al, let's get going." He looked at me and back at Edward, pointedly. "We'll be back soon. Call if anything comes up."

Edward nodded and I waved towards Jasper realizing neither of us had even greeted each other. Ugh, my stomach churned at the idea of me being just another girl in Edward's life that didn't get along with his family. I closed the door and followed Edward into the living room. "Can I hold him?" I asked meekly. Edward smiled and nodded, gently putting Max in my arms.

"Hey Sweetie. Remember me?" I asked, after watching the cutest thing ever - him yawning. He didn't motion that he acknowledged what I said, but buried his head in the crook of my neck and I mimicked the light bouncing motion Edward had done with him earlier as I sat down on the sofa.

"I noticed you didn't break him yet." He noted, grinning devilishly.

I puffed out a laugh and felt one of Max's hands grab my hair. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" I exclaimed as quietly as I could. I adjusted him against my side and slowly pried his hand off me. He readjusted his body against me and he looked up at me with the bright green eyes that must be a family trait. "He's definitely a Cullen." I mused to myself as I felt him rest the weight of his head against my shoulder, looking up at me, grinning and cooing.

Edward moved to sit next to me, gently rubbing Max's head. "Why's that love?"

"He has the Cullen eyes." I smirked, glancing from Max up to Edward. "He's gonna be a heart breaker; I can tell."

He leaned towards me pressing a kiss to my shoulder. "I love you. I want this with you." He murmured quietly

I sighed. It hadn't slipped my attention that we were talking about having a family, and being together forever but neither of us had managed to break up with our significant others yet. "When?" I asked, feeling Max squirm out of my arms.

Edward reached out, pulling Max into his arms and craddling him. He looked like such a natural with him. "As soon as I can get a hold of her."

Max was reaching for the TV controller to the left of Edward and I laughed, moving to take it and give it to him. Max settled on Edward's lap and began pushing all of the buttons, making cute little sound effects with each motion. "Okay."

Edward's eyes focused on mine and he nodded. We spent the next couple of hours watching and playing with Max. Turns out he loved remotes, highlighters and using the highlighters to draw on my carpet. Around 8:30, he started getting a little grumpy so I picked him up and started rocking him gently in my arms. "Edward.. help?" I asked a little frantically when Max still wasn't calming down.

He took Max in his arms, bouncing him delicately and cooing softly into his ear. "It's okay, buddy... it's okay..."

Max's whimpers turned into wailing and I looked at him, bug eyed. "Um... maybe? Uh... does he use a pacifier? food? is he hungry?" I was trying to think of what I'd read online through random websites about caring for toddlers.

"There should be a bottle in his diaper bag. Get him some water?"

I nodded and sprinted to where the bag was slumped over the recliner, grabbing the bottle and running to fill it with water. I suddenly felt like I was on a bad episode of Double Dare and I had to beat the clock. I raced back into the living room handing him the bottle and watched as he shook the powder formula with the water before giving it to Max who took it gladly, gulping down the mixture. I heaved a sigh of relief and flopped onto the couch. "Maybe we should just have pets."

He moved the bottle onto the table once Max moved his head and yawned, signaling he was done for now. "Love, it's fine. This is parenthood."

"Yeah... I see that. I'm not sure I can handle it." I looked up at him. "That was just a minor thing. What happens with the big ones? Especially if you're not around to diffuse the situation."

He plopped down next me, rubbing Max's back gently. "There's ups and downs, but I know you can do this. Sure, it's scary as hell but we can get through this because we're doing it together. Right?"

I nodded, watching Edward take the bottle from a tired looking Max. "Looks like he tired himself out." I replied, brushing the hair lightly away from his eyes.

His eyes flickered from me down to the worn out baby. "Guess so." He agreed, leaning over to place a soft kiss on my forehead. "Don't be afraid, Love. I've got you, okay?"

We put him down and watched him sleep for the next couple of hours, while curled up on the couch with one eye on the TV. Just like they said, around 11, Alice and Jasper rang the doorbell and Edward went to answer it as I gingerly picked up Max and carried him over to his parents.

"How was he?" Alice asked Edward as I approached them.

"Fine. Nothing major. He _loved_ Bella's carpets."

I laughed, adjusting him against my hip. "Did you like Auntie Bella's carpet Max?" Alice cooed leaning in towards her son. "Bewwa." He said, rubbing his eyes as he slowly woke up. My heart fucking broke. I looked up at Edward and beamed.

He did remember me. Maybe.

Alice took him from my arms and went to help Edward gather Max's things.

"I want you to know, this isn't about you." Jasper stated glancing behind me at Edward and Alice before back at me. "I just don't like that he can't just sever the ties and he needs to hurt Tanya like this."

Immediately my blood ran hot and I took a deep breath, trying my best to stay calm. "Because she didn't hurt him when she started messing around with the guy she's been sleeping with behind his back?"

He pursed his lips and shrugged. "I just don't think it's fair."

"To Edward you mean."

"To either of them. To you or your boyfriend for that matter. If you and Edward stand a chance you have to really try _being _together, instead of each other's fuck buddies."

"Who's a fuck buddy?" He asked. His eyes darted from Jasper to me and back to Jasper, waiting for a response.

I sighed and looked at Jasper. "You two are." He said bluntly. "Without being crass, that's essentially what you are. You two aren't really together as much as you say otherwise because you're both committed to other people."

"That's enough." I heard Alice pipe up behind me. "Jasper Cullen these two are in love and how _dare _you try and belittle that. When was the last time you saw your brother so happy? And when was the last time you saw me taking an active interest in anything he and his girlfriend were up to? Hm?"

He just stood there frozen.

"Exactly. She said beaming. Now let them be, we have to get home. We have a busy day with your mom and Max tomorrow." He grabbed the duffel bag from Edward's hands not saying a word and turned on his heels walking away without saying goodbye. Alice sighed and shifted Max in her arms. "Don't mind him, he's just being sensitive. He really does think you're lovely Bella. He, just like myself, just wish that Edward would get off his ass and end the relationship so that you two can really be together; he just has a funny way of showing it."

I smiled and heard Edward scoff beside me. She looked up at him smiling sadly. "Really." She drilled in before waving and walking towards the staircase.

Edward closed the door and I sighed, facing him. "Is he ever going to like me?"

His arms looped around my hips and pulled me close against his chest. "He does like you. It's me.. and him and this whole fucked up thing we have going on."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. "I can't wait for some cute little baby to call me mommy. I mean it gets me every time Max just says my name."

He laughed pulling away and poking the tip of my nose with his index finger. "A minute ago you were rethinking the whole thing."

"Yeah, but I like the idea of having another set of green eyes in the home." I pulled away a bit more and grabbed his hand, leading him towards the bedroom.

"Where are we going?" He asked feigning ignorance.

"To practice." I grinned, turning to press my lips against his firmly. I loved this. I loved him.

I knew I would love everything that resembled this moment, forever.

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning curled around Bella with the rain rapping lightly on her window. I pushed my face into her hair as I felt her shift beside me.

"It's after ten." She mumbled, twisting her legs with mine.

I kissed the top of her head, running my hands over her bare back. "So? Do you have plans?"

"Nope. You?"

I flattened my cheek to her hair, closing my eyes again. "No. I need to get some work done for a few hours this afternoon though. I've been backed up for some reason."

Bella placed a trail of soft kisses on my chest. "That's good, though. Means I'm not the only one who thinks you work wonders behind the lens."

I rolled my eyes. "Bella, it's not like I'm curing cancer."

"No, but close."

I laughed, squeezing her closer. "Hardly."

She curled more tightly into me. "Did you want to meet up after you're done tonight then?"

"Yeah. Come by and we'll stay over there. That place isn't the same without you. And we've probably worn out your bed."

"Plus, since we tried my couch last night I think it's your couch's turn."

I kissed her forehead decisively. "Definitely."

A while later, we hopped in the shower together and I was out the door before one. All in all, I'd say not so bad considering the fact that being away from Bella made me what to shrivel up like a prune. Somehow, though, I had managed to do it. It felt good to be back in my own space with my stuff as I walked into the dark room to start prepping the film. This was why I loved doing what I was doing. I loved being able to see and relive moments that had passed. Who cares if I wasn't in the picture itself? I was still there.

I was getting through my third roll of film when I heard the door bell ring. Nothing, however, prepared me for who was on the other side.

"Tanya?" I asked, confused.

She smiled softly, "Hey baby."

I sighed, stepping aside to let her pass. "What's up?"

"Nothing," She said, "I just wanted to see you."

I shut the door behind me, moving toward her. "You okay?"

She turned, shaking her head as her eyes filled with tears. In an instant she was in my arms. "Edward... it's all just so fucked up, you know? I miss you. I miss us. I miss the way we used to be. We don't fuck, we don't kiss, we don't laugh." She sobbed harder into my skin. "I love you, and I want you. But it seems like we're so screwed up."

I hated seeing her like this; so vulnerable and alone. It made me want to protect her, comfort her... love her. I sighed as I kissed the top of her head and tired to think. I cared for her but did I really still love her? Not the way I used to, I decided. I loved her like you love someone you've known for ever; like a friend. I would always love her, but not to the degree nor the necessity to which I loved Bella. Bella was everything. Tanya was a place holder.

"Babes,we are screwed up. But it doesn't matter. If we're meant to work out, we will."

Her voice was quiet as she responded. "Do you think we will?"

I rubbed her back, saying the one thing that came to mind, "Maybe."

I held her for a little while longer until she pulled away, looking at the huge wet spot on the front of my shirt. She laughed a little, scraping her hands down my chest. "I'm sorry I got you wet."

I smirked, "I bet you are."

She smiled wickedly back up and me, then gently pressed her lips to mine. I moaned into her mouth and fisted her blouse, but at the same time I couldn't help but notice how generic she felt. Yeah, I was definitely over her. She pulled away again, tugging on the hem of my shirt. "Let's change."

I nodded, pulling off my shirt and tossing it aside as I went to grab another. I was just coming back out, shirt in hand when the doorbell rang and I saw Tanya go to answer it. My heart went into over drive once I realized who it could be... and evidently, who it was.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: evenin bellllllllllllerz!

hey kella kels! How was your sunday??

peachy keen. went by waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fast. yours?

same same. But dude.... this kinda made my sunday :)

all the pov goodness? i bet we have way more fun writing the fanfic than the owner of these characters, SMeyer had making the original fic up.

Prolly. Cause she couldn't do fun things... like swear and write lemons :)

How true. So you know what's fun too?

Getting reviews???

DING DING DING!!!!!!!! Definitely.

Awesome! So maybe these readers should leave us some?

Yep, great suggestion. You're definitely the brains of this operation :)

Nahhh, sooo you it's not even funny :)

Nope, fraid not missy.

Ummm, you know im right :P But let's fight about this later, and let them read the chap... sound okay? :)

Perf - and further proof that you're the brains of this op :P

omg... :P

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**BPOV**At around 5:30, I thought I'd surprise Edward with takeout Italian from the infamous restaurant around the corner from his place. What I was not expecting, was to be surprised myself.

With Tanya, and a shirtless Edward behind her.

"Hello?" She asked shaking her head in my face.

"Oh, um... hi." I said startled, looking from Edward to Tanya.

"Can I help you?" She snapped a bit too condescendingly for my taste. And Jasper preferred her over me? What was I, moldy cheesy?

"Oh, um, uh.." I stuttered trying to think of an excuse to be here.

"Oh. Um. Uh?" She asked looking at me pointedly. "Ben's not here."

That was when I remembered the lies that had been told and I internally sighed with relief. "Oh, I know. Edward was working today and asked for my help so I brought food since I know he probably won't let us go out to grab some later."

She smirked and glanced back at Edward before returning her gaze to me. "Edward's taking a little break. And _I _can make sure he's fed." She spat icily sweet. She oozed phoneyness and I couldn't understand how he put up with her. But then I looked back to him and realized he hadn't said a word, or moved for that matter and was in fact, still shirtless. My body resisted the urge to vomit at the idea of what they were doing.

They were still a couple. They still did couple things. Like have sex. My stomach churned as the thought sped across my mind and I felt Tanya yank the paper bag from my hand. "Edward will reimburse you. Come back in an hour, okay? He'll be ready for you then."

She smiled an almost genuine smile. "We're in the middle of something. You understand." I couldn't do anything but take a breath and look at Edward who was standing there, his mouth slightly parted and shaking his head.

I nodded. "Okay. Only an hour?" Tanya smirked, looking back at Edward her eyes not leaving his body as she spoke to me. "Better make that two, we have a lot of making up to do."

My body tense and I nodded. "Okay, two." She smiled appreciatively and I didn't even wait for the door to close before I turned and walked towards the elevator, thankful that it opened right away.

I couldn't be mad. I couldn't be hurt. I couldn't be jealous.

Jasper was right, he really _wasn't _mine and we weren't _really _together. Edward was doing nothing more than being with his girlfriend. I sighed heavily as the elevator doors opened and I walked to my car in the garage, repeating my version of Jasper's words in my head willing it to sink in.

He's not mine; he's Tanya's. We're not really together; he's with Tanya.

I glanced at the clock - almost 6. I could be at Emmett's around 9 if traffic wasn't too bad. Without a second thought or stopping for a change of clothes I sped off down I-5 gearing it for Portland.

**EPOV**

My jaw clenched as Tanya swung the door shut. "She's awfully annoying."

I tossed my shirt over my head, cursing under my breath. "She came for a reason, you know. She was expected."

She shrugged with Bella's food and headed for the kitchen. "Whatever. You can do that later."

I fumed. "No. This is my job. I have a ton to get through, and I needed her."

"C'mon." Tanya started, unpacking the paper bag. "Like you can't do that... whenever."

I slammed my fist on the counter, "This is my fucking job, Tanya. My job."

"Hobby."

I rolled my eyes walking to the door and holding it open. "Good night."

"Excuse me?" She asked, eyeing me carefully.

"Leave. Now. If you're just going to play games, I'm not into it. Good Night."

She walked over to me, her eyes hurt. "But... I thought we were working it out..."

"So did I. Then you pissed me off. Good night."

Her shoulders slumped as she walked out and I tossed the door shut without another thought. I dashed to my phone and dialed Bella.

Nothing.

Straight to voicemail.

I sighed, slumping down on my couch and closing my eyes. Her apartment? Tanya told Bella two hours, so she'd go home right? I fucking hoped so. I raced down to the volvo, and it seemed like I couldn't drive fast enough. There was always some slow ass honda in front of me or some stupid fucking light. By the time I got there, the adrenaline was pulsing though my veins, but I immediately deflated. Her car wasn't there, and her lights weren't on. I parked in a space then started banging my head on the wheel.

What the fuck.

**BPOV**I rang Emmett's bell, tapping my foot impatiently as I waited for him to answer. "Emmett!" I yelled through the door and I heard him jogging closer to the door. He swung it open, brows furrowed and wearing... boxers and a t-shirt - backwards. Ew.

"Bad time?" I asked not sure which I wanted to do more - vomit or laugh. His face was flushed and he looked almost... embarrassed?

"Uh, um.. kinda?" He replied scratching the back of his neck. "What's up are you okay?"

And that's when I realized how I felt was completely fucking ridiculous. My brother had been right the other night when he said that when it came down to it Edward and I were idiots. I had no reason to be mad, and even though it the back of my mind I _knew _this, it took seeing Em for it to really hit me.

You can't lose something you never really had. And it broke my fucking heart to realize that, I never really _had _Edward.

I shook my head. "No, I was just on my way home from spending the day in Portland and thought I'd stop by." I lied, smiling up at him. He sighed with what I can only assume was relief. "You worried me for a sec there." He confessed ruffling my hair before twisting his thumbs behind him. "But, I.. uh... gotta get back?" He said questioningly, blushing all over again and grinning. I smiled and nodded. "Sounds good, I'll call you later." I replied. We said our goodbyes and I took my time driving back up to Seattle. I pulled into the parking lot of my complex a little before midnight, after hitting a patch of barren freeway and making it back in great time. My eyes fixated on the silver volvo parked a few spots down and my heart ran cold and raced at the same time.

Edward was here.

**EPOV**

I really don't know what happened. One minute I was calling myself an idiot and then next I was screaming as someone pounded on my window. Not bothering to open my eyes, I rolled down my window.

"Officer, I'm just waiting for someone."

"Edward? What're you doing here?" Bella asked, sounding hurt and confused.

My eyes snapped open and then I started to blink uncontrollably. "Bella? You live here."

"Yeah... I know. But what are _you _doing here?"

I rubbed my eyes, "Being with you. Do want me to go?" I was so groggy that I wasn't even sure what was happening. This was all a dream right?

"I don't think it's a good idea tonight, Edward."

I could feel myself pouting up at her. "Are you okay?"

"No, but I'll be fine by tomorrow." She sighed, "I'm taking tonight to remind myself that we're not really together, and you being around wouldn't help with that."

I didn't feel like arguing with her, so I didn't. I grabbed her wrist though and pulled her back to me then down so that her lips brushed against mine. "You told me not to walk away without kissing you. So I won't." I pressed her lips to mine and sleepily felt them moving with each other. I pulled away, resting my forehead against the door jam and keeping my eyes closed. I was so tired.

She let out a deep breath, "Edward you're exhausted." She paused and it was a minute before she spoke again. "I don't want you driving home when you're this tired. Come upstairs."

I yawned, "It's okay. You... you're going through... something. I'll just... go. Do you have my keys, love? I think I lost them."

She bent down and ran her hands through my hair. "They're probably upstairs. Just come up and nap for a little bit. You can go back to Tanya once you've slept a little. I don't want you driving right now."

I furrowed my brow at her, my eyes still shut. "Why? Do I have to?"

"Edward look at me."

I opened my eyes slowly.

"You're still with Tanya. As much as I'd like to, I can't forget that - _especially _after this afternoon." She closed her eyes, and I wanted to die. She reopened them slowly. "So you can sleep here for a few hours then I think you should go home to _your _home - with her." She finished, looking as though I'd murdered her.

I let her wrist go, and folded my hands in my lap. "Bella, I'm sorry about her. For the things she said, and what she implied. It wasn't right, especially with everything you've--we've been through this last week. It's not good for you, you don't deserve this." I shook my head, feeling my body waking up a little. "I'll go."

"No, just take a nap here. Then you can go. I really don't want you driving when you're this exhausted. Then you can leave once you've rested a bit, I won't even beg you to stay. Please?"

I sighed, closing my eyes again and rubbing them with the back of my hands. "I want to stay, but I want you to be okay and right now those two things don't go together. I'll stay in the car for a while longer. I'm sorry, again."

"Edward that's ridiculous. Just come upstairs. You can take my bed and rest and I'll hang out in the living room; it's fine."

I shook my head, blinking at her. "It's not fine. I can't go up there and not have you with me. I won't be able to sleep."

"Well you were going to sleep in the car just now, weren't you?" She pointed out, "What's the difference?"

"Bella, that's... _our _bed," I whispered. "I can't be there without you. And it's fine. You're allowed to be tired of me, so I'll go."

She huffed and narrowed her eyes at me. "Edward Cullen, this isn't up for discussion. Get out of your car and upstairs now; I'm freezing and you need sleep."

I sighed, and slowly got out of my car then followed Bella upstairs. She didn't turn on the lights, but took my hand and led me to the bedroom. "I love you," I whispered rubbing circles over her thumb.

She turned to face me, and smiled sadly. "I love you too."

I smiled softly as she lifted my sweatshirt over my head. "Like a lot."

She nodded, and pushed up on her toes to kiss my cheek as she undid my jeans. "I know you do." She whispered, "I just wish it was enough."

My smile faded and my eyes closed again, "I know."

She walked around me to the bed, where she grabbed the extra blanket and a pillow. "Sleep as long as you want tonight. I'll look for your keys and leave them on the kitchen counter if I find them."

I watched the door shut behind her then looked back at the bed. I couldn't sleep there, not without Bella. I grabbed the other pillow and a blanket from the closet then went into the tub. I knew what I had to do, I thought. It should be simple, effortless and obvious.

Then why was I having such a hard time with it?

**BPOV**I found his keys while cozying up in the recliner. Apparently they'd slipped through the sides of the chair and were wedged between the metal rods and cushion. I tried sleeping in the chair with it upright, fully pulled out and eventually moved to the couch.

No dice there either. I finally gave up and resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't sleep without Edward, or at least Edward's smell that had stained my sheets. With a sigh I walked into the bathroom to take a hot shower and hopefully the exhaustion would just let sleep come eventually. I opened the bathroom door and jumped quietly, seeing a very restless Edward attempt to get comfortable in his sleep in the bath tub.

"Edward?" I whispered, though it sounded much louder with the echo from the tiles.

He sniffled and I heard the rubber squeaking sound as he tried to move around in the tub. "Bella..."

I smiled warmly and sighed, bending down beside the tub. "Edward, what're you doing in the tub?"

He looked at me as if the answer was obvious. "I can't sleep in there."

My face fell and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why not?"

"you left." He stated simply, looking at me pointedly.

"... yeah." My confusion doubled. "But you slept without me all week."

He shook his head, making me feel like a complete moron for not getting it."It's different. Bella, that's our bed... I can't be in it without you."

I sighed and nodded, understanding completely. I nudged my head towards the bedroom. "Come on then. You can't sleep in the bathtub Edward. Let's go to bed." I replied softly, standing up.

He glanced up at me as if unsure of my motives. "you're coming, right?"

I bent down and kissed him softly, nodding against him and whispering against his lips, "I can't sleep away from you, knowing that you're here." He sat up and followed behind me into the room. I glanced at the clock grinning and taking another exaggerated breath as I slid off my shirt and wiggled out of my jeans, kicking my underwear off with them.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing?" Edward asked as he slid under the sheets. I looked at him wide eyed and a little confused at his surprise. "Edward it's 1:41."

"And at 1:41am we get naked?" He inquired, puffing out a laugh. I giggled quietly and scooted in beside him, tugging at the elastic of his boxers and hearing it slap lightly against his skin. "On Sundays we do." He grinned and adjusted his body so he could slide his boxers off.

"I love our Sunday rule." He murmured, pulling my back against his chest as his arms wrapped possessively around my stomach. I snuggled against him even closer and nodded against his shoulder. His lips fastened to my neck and I moaned softly as he nibbled on my skin. His teeth eventually stopped tasting me and I felt him press a firm kiss against my shoulder. I sighed against him, moving my hands over his and entwining our fingers.

Nothing was resolved. Everything was just as it was. But it felt like we were on the brink of something and good or bad I felt that the fork in the road would finally resolve all of this.

I just hoped he would choose me.

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning groggy and disoriented. Fuck, I felt like shit. I groaned and rolled away from Bella, and curled myself in a ball. I was freezing all of a sudden.

I felt Bella start to move, and as she spoke her voice was thick with sleep. "Edward? You okay?"

I tucked my legs back up to my chest and pulled the covers tighter. "Yeah, Baby, go back to sleep."

She curled up behind me and pressed her cheek to my back. At that, she woke up in an instant. "Edward, you're clammy. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

I shivered. "No."

Bella got out of bed, and threw my boxers and tee shirt at me. "Put those on. I'll turn up the heater."

I pulled on my boxers and my tee shirt, but once I got it over my head I was dizzy as fuck. I snapped my eyes shut and clenched one hand to the side of my head. What the fuck was this? I braced one hand on the side of the bed. The whole fucking room was spinning in blackness.

Bella came back into the room, and was immediately beside me. "Edward. What's wrong? I'm going to go to your studio and get you some real pjs and stop at Walgreens for medicine but I need to know what kind to get."

I shook my head, grabbing her wrist. "No. Don't go. Just stay with me, okay?" I didn't want to be alone. I needed her with me.

She nodded, and kissed my forehead gently. "Okay baby. I'm right here; I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to get more blankets from the hall closet, okay?"

I nodded and curled back up under her covers. I felt like such a mess. Bella came back a second later, throwing a bunch of blankets over me. "Thanks." I mumbled. I felt the bed depress beside me and her hands smooth over the plane of my back. "Baby, you're gonna get sick." I whispered, trying not shiver.

"I'll be okay." She kissed my shoulder blade through my tee shirt then wrapped her arms and legs around me, trying to keep me warm.

I tangled my legs with hers, and even though I knew I should have told her to leave I couldn't. I needed her. "Bella, I'm sorry. For everything."

"Shh, baby... it's okay. Just rest; try and get some sleep." She kissed my shoulder again. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I whispered. I didn't deserve her, I knew. I was completely and utterly unworthy of her. She took care of me, she loved me, and she wanted me. What else could I possibly need? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So then what the hell was the problem?

I didn't get it. I didn't understand why I was having such a hard time leaving Tanya. I had to do it. I had to. I couldn't be without Bella, or my life wouldn't work right.

I would always choose Bella. No question.


	25. Chapter 25

*Knocks on Kella's door with PB M&M's*

GIMME GIMME GIMME! I mean uh... hi :D *waves*

Lol, I knew this was the only way to get you to come out :P

Duh, I'm a hermit like Hemmingway just without the alcohol problem. Whattup bels?

Not too much Kella kels... just a secrets update *snuggles*

Word word. Sorry to say but even after almost 30 chaps, we still don't own the characters, only the lemons. SMeyer still owns the peeps.

Def def. But leave some reviews? And please try to keep in mind that Edward and Bella are having an affair... contrary to popular belief, that is the point of the story.

You said it lady! So leave us some love, please? OH BUT WAIT! FIRST! OR LAST! WHICHEV! Bels and I want to give a super huge THANK YOU AND LOVES YOU to one awesome bird.. Chickenn. Chicken is super positive, awesome and come on... everyone should love her too.

* * *

**BPOV**I woke up sweltering. My eyes fluttered open and I noticed that Edward had thrown all the covers over me and was now sleeping on his back, sweating but sleeping somewhat peacefully. I crept from the bed slowly and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, scribbling a note to Edward and taping it to the back of the door so he wouldn't miss it. I grabbed the keys to his studio from the pocket of his jeans and headed out the door.

I drove quickly to his studio, hesitantly opening the door and hoping that Tanya wasn't still there. To my relief, she wasn't; no trace of her was in the loft. I quickly stuffed his gym duffel bag with a couple boxer shorts, sweat pants, another hoodie and two more t-shirts before locking up and heading over to Walgreens. After a far too long conversation with the pharmacist, I settled on a bottle of good ol' fashion Nyquil to at least help with the fever and chills. I wasn't sure what would help the dizziness he seemed to go through when he sat up. I also grabbed a toothbrush for him, and a bottle of the soap he used, which was mostly for selfish reasons; I wanted Edward to smell like Edward and not like my strawberry $1.99 shampoo. A little over an hour had passed by the time I was walking back into my apartment.

I left the soap and unopened toothbrush on the bathroom sink, and moved into the bedroom noticing that Edward was sitting up and looking miserable. I smiled faintly and pulled the bottle of medicine from the bag, shaking it from where I stood at the foot of the bed. "Nyquil?" I asked hoping he wouldn't protest.

He nodded, reaching for me weakly. "Are you okay?"

I tossed the duffel bag onto the floor beside me and sat on the edge of the bed beside him, nodding and placing a hand against his forehead. He was still burning up. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I've been run over by a car." He said, laughing dryly before coughing up a storm. He calmed down after a few moment and looked up at me sadly.

My hand reached up to cup his jaw and kissed his lips softly. "I don't get how you manage to be as sick as a dog and still the sexiest man I've ever seen." I quipped, opening up the bottle of medicine and pouring out the doseage into the designated cup.

"You shouldn't... kiss me. You'll... get sick." He stated, pulling his knees up and looking at me as if he were really worried for my health.

I pursed my lips, grinning as I kissed him again. "Don't care. I love you and I'm going to kiss you more or less whenever I want." I kissed him again to prove my point and stood up to grab the zip up hoodie I'd brought from his apartment, over. I tossed it in his direction. "Do you need anything else? Soup? I can order like... wonton soup from the chinese place, or I can run and get some from the italian place near the studio?" I needed to do something; I couldn't do nothing and just watch him be sick.

His face blanched even more as he shook his head. "I think I'm gonna puke. Just come talk to me?"

I nodded and walked over to the linen closet to grab a bucket for him, just in case, before sliding out of my jeans and crawling in bed. His arms circled around my hips loosely, as he rested his head on my stomach. "First crush?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair lazily.

"Lauren Mallory, but that's not what I wanted to talk about."

My fingers scratched at his scalp lightly. "What did you want to talk about?"

He took a wheezy deep breath, coughing a little as he began to speak. "Last night. It hurts my head."

My heart sank. Was he going to leave? Did he realize that he loved Tanya more? I sighed, and gulped. "Alright. What about last night?"

"You think I slept with her. That's why you were upset and you didn't want me around. You thought I was cheating on you." He stated knowingly, in a soft whisper.

I bit my lip. What was I supposed to say? Yes, how dare you sleep with your girlfriend? "Edward, you can't cheat on me with your own girlfriend. _I'm _the other woman, remember?"

"You're my woman. But regardless of your title, I didn't sleep with her. I... I can't."

I sighed, relieved that it had just been a misunderstanding. "Edward, she's your girlfriend; I'm not. If you should be sleeping with anyone it should be her." I felt my heart ripping as I spoke, but it was the truth.

He pressed his lips into my stomach, mumbling against my skin. "You don't mean that."

"I kind of do. She is your girlfriend. I'm not; I'm the girl on the side. If us sleeping together is getting in the way of you guys really trying to work it out, then maybe you should spend less time with me and more with her."

"Maybe I don't want to work it out. Maybe I want to be with you. Maybe I want to ease into it. Maybe I'm afraid that you'll leave me. Maybe I can't be without you."

"Those are a lot of maybes, but nothing concrete."

I felt his hot breath beating against my skin. "I understand." He murmured.

"Edward, I don't need maybes." I sighed and felt my body tense up. "I need you to be honest and I need you to tell me something that is more definite than a 'maybe' because all of the love and ideas I have for our future in my head are certain and it petrifies me that you aren't."

He sat up quickly, reaching to brace one arm against the bedframe, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. After a moment, his eyes opened and he turned to look at me, sighing. ''Bella, I am but I'm scared of everything that we're facing. I'm nervous and confused and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do next." He swerved his body towards the side of the bed and planeted one foot tenatively on the floor."I'm gonna go back to the studio, I think."

I felt my heart seize up. So much for being able to be honest. "Oh...ok." I said quietly, biting my lip and staring down at my lap. "You're feeling good enough to drive? Because if you're not I can just go in the other room and you can rest. I won't... bother you or anything."

He moved his other leg over the side of the bed and I was terrified he was really going to leave. Instead he bent over, putting his head between his knees. "Bella, you aren't bothering me." He echoed from his place between his legs. "I feel like shit, and honestly the only thing making it remotely better is that you're here. I want to be with you, but it seems like you don't want me."

My head shot up and I looked at him, utterly shocked. "Excuse me?"

I saw him nonchalantly reach for the bucket, taking a deep breath. I wasn't sure if it was to prevent puking or at the weight of what he was about to say. "Bella, I love you. That's definite. That's everything. But when you push me to her; to things and to a person I don't want to be anymore it hurts. It makes me feel like _you _don't want _me. _Shit." He grunted, before turning and heaving his head into the bucket, gagging.

I leaned over, rubbing his back in soft circles and holding my breath as he yakked into the bucket beside the bed. He continued to wretch for a few more minutes, before I felt his breath steady against my hand that was still massaging his back lightly.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not fair, and I know it's not what you want, but this... this is what I have right now." He panted, trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry it's not enough."

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to tell him it was okay, that it was enough, because it wasn't. But he was too sick to argue with. I moved off the bed and pulled out a pair of sweats, new boxers and a tshirt. "I'm going to get a shower started for you." I replied quietly, walking towards bathroom. "I bought you a bottle of your soap and a toothbrush; they're on the sink." I dropped his change of clothes on the closed toilet lid and walked into the linen closet to grab a towel for him. I folded it on top of his pile of clothes and walked back to the bedroom. "I'm going to run and get some soup and gatorade. You need to at least get some electrolytes down. Do you need anything else?" I asked, softly.

"No." He whispered, staring down at the blanket in front of him and refusing to meet my eyes.

I nodded and slid on my shoes silently before grabbing my keys and walking out the door.

**EPOV**

I listened to the door slam, and groaned as the noise moved across my ear drums. Guh, it was so fucking loud. I stood slowly, bracing myself with one hand and taking the bucket in the other. This was going to be harder than it looked. I stumbled and limped my way to the bathroom, and with all of the pauses and my lack of coordination, It took a good ten minutes to get into the bathroom. Luckily, the space was small, so it didn't take me as long to dump and rinse out the bucket. I stopped and tried to catch my breath again and I lifted my head, looking at my reflection. I groaned when I realized that this is exactly how it was our first night together. I was in exactly the same position, wondering what the hell to do next. But then I had let myself fall deeper. And now? Now, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Go back to Tanya? Did Bella really want that? Maybe. That's the way it sounded to me.

I groaned, leaning my head against the counter. I didn't want that, I wanted Bella. What a huge fucking mess I'd made and now I had no clue how to fix it. None. I turned my head slightly to the side and saw the toothbrush shampoo on the counter. Fuck. Bella had gone out and bought my shit. She like, specifically picked out the things that I liked so that she could have them here with her. So maybe she did want me after all? She wanted to keep me here with her, and why couldn't I give her that, since I was insisting that that's what I wanted too. I had no fucking clue. I lifted my body slowly and grabbed the shampoo, carefully lifting my legs over the edge of the tub and climbing in.

I was able to shower without too much of a problem, considering and the water definitely helped to shed that disgusting ill feeling from my skin. I still felt like shit, even if I didn't smell like it. I reached over and shut off the water, taking a second to regain my stability when the dizziness set in again. Fucking shit, this really sucked. I had to get out of the shower, though. I couldn't just stay here. i couldn't. I tried to get one leg over the edge, but I couldn't. For whatever reason I just wasn't able to get out of the shower. I sighed and slumped down against the wall, closing my eyes. I guess I'd have to wait for Bella to get home.

It seemed like hours later, I heard her frantically calling my name. "Edward?" She was nervous, I could tell, the most I could do was grunt.

She pushed open the bathroom door and all I could see was fear in her eyes. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

I kept my eyes shut as I replied. "I can't get out."

Bella kicked off her shoes and got into the tub with me. "Okay, we can do this together." She said, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I laughed shakily as I put my arm over her shoulder. "There's no way we can do this, Love."

"Sure we can." She turned her head and planted a small kiss on my bicep. "I've got you and you can lean on me as much as you need, alright?"

I sighed, moving slowly to my knees. "You sure?"

Bella gave a small laugh. "Mhm. I'm stronger than I look." She replied, getting on her own knees and watching me carefully.

Bella helped me stand slowly, and sure enough she got me out of the tub. "Here, lean on the counter."

I did as she asked as she grabbed the towel and dried me off carefully. "Still okay?" She asked, pulling up my boxers.

"Mhm," I said, closing my eyes again, "Love, I'm tired."

"Then we'll get you back to bed." She said, then my shirt was over my head.

"You'll come right? You'll be with me?"

She sighed, "Of course Edward, always. Where else would I go?"

She put my arm back over her shoulder and we walked slowly to the bed. "I love you."

Bella tucked me back in bed, and as she moved away I could hear her undressing. "I love you too."

I looked over my shoulder at her, "You're naked."

She laughed softly, "Would you prefer I wasn't?"

I shook my head twisting my arm around my body to hold onto her. "No. Should I be naked, too?"

Bella shook her head and pushed the hair from my forehead. "No, you aren't feeling well." She paused for a moment, watching me. "I just like feeling you against me as close as you can be."

I sighed, then shivered as the chills returned. This was it; this was our defining moment. We were teetering on the brink of something major, and we were skirting around it instead of saying it out loud. I burrowed deeper into the blankets, warding off the chill that seemed ever present. "Bella, you need me... you want me here."

She nodded against the pillow. "Of course I need you here Edward, and I want you here... always. Was that in question?" She asked softly, her eye brows knitting together.

"I think so. But the soap... and you bought me a tooth brush. Those things... those things mean that you want me here. You want me with you... don't they?" I looked up at her worriedly, thinking that perhaps for the first time I'd misread both Bella and the situation.

She pulled up the edge of my blanket, and slide under so that her skin was against mine. One hand rested on my side while the other came up to cup my jaw."Edward of course I want you with me. I want you to be mine and only mine. I want you here, or me at the studio with you, and I want us to be together - just us. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone and I need you more than I ever thought I could need someone. You're my entire heart."

I sighed, leaning my head against hers. "Bella, it's the same for me, I promise. It's always been the same for me. I love you."

She kissed me softly. "I love you too." She admitted with a sigh. "I dream about being with you forever; never doubt that. You're the only one I want; the only one I'll ever want."

"I hope so," I whispered. I tried my best to keep my breath out of her face, and I felt my eyelids go heavy. "I'm so tired, love."

Bella reached up and pushed the hair away from my face. "So sleep. I'll be here."

I sighed into her hair, "Promise?"

Her lips pressed to my chest briefly. "Promise."

That was the last thing I remembered before falling asleep. I was restless the entire night, and I just couldn't seem to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. Finally at around two, I gave up and tossed the covers off and stood slowly. I was thirsty, at least, and Bella said she was getting gatorade. I walked carefully to the kitchen, trying not to lose my balance or wake Bella. I stumbled around in the dark, then heaved a huge sigh of relief when I made it to the kitchen.

Then my phone rang.

Fuck. I hobbled as quickly as I could, thanking whatever type of sense I had that I'd left my pants in here. I flipped my phone open, and was shocked at how horse my voice sounded.

"Hello?"

"Edward this is Tanya."

I rolled my eyes, slumping against the side of the couch. "Hi."

"Are you okay? I need to speak to you."

I closed my eyes and rubbed my face with my free hand. "No, I'm pretty sick. And you are speaking to me."

"About stuff, Edward."

I scoffed, "Tanya, you're calling me at two in the morning to talk about _stuff?" _

"It's important."

Wait. "Tanya, are you breaking up with me?"

She was silent for way too long. "A little."

I groaned again. "A little?"

"Yes," She said, clearing her throat.

"You can't break up with someone a little. You either do or you don't."

"WELL I SAID A LITTLE!" She wailed into the phone, "I'm a little bit drunk right now, and I don't know if I'm going to regret this in the morning, so I don't want to break up with you all the way."

"Tanya, I'll call you when I'm feeling better and you're coherent enough to remember this conversation. But in the mean time, don't bother me."

I hung up my phone without another word to her. I didn't need that right now. If we were going to end this, I at least wanted her to remember it. I carefully lifted myself back up and stopped when I saw Bella standing half naked in the doorway.

"Hi." Was my lame greeting. I thought I was going to puke all over her couch.

"Who was that?"

"Tanya."

Bella nodded and moved toward me, "Are you okay? Did you need something?"

I blinked, "I was just thirsty."

She nodded, breezing into the kitchen. "I bought gatorade."

I slumped back onto the couch, and closed my eyes. A second later, I felt a cool hand pressed to my forehead. "You still feel warm." She murmured, peering down at me.

"Bella, I feel terrible." I complained, leaning into her touch.

She handed me a cup of gatorade. "drink some of this. I'll go get the nyquil."

I groaned a little as she left me, and sat back. Maybe I should go back to the studio. Probably. She was obviously still hurting and having me here wasn't helping. I went to stand, but I couldn't. I was still too fucking dizzy. I leaned back against the couch and felt another wave of nausea rip through me. I groaned. "Here." I heard Bella say, but I pushed her away.

"No. I think I'm going to be sick again."

"Do you want me to get a bag?"

I lifted myself slowly and started to wobble toward the bathroom. "I got it."

Bella was hot on my heels and wrapped an arm protectively around my waist. "Edward, please just let me help you. You need to lay down and relax."

I flexed my grip on the door frame as I adjusted to her weight beside me. "No, I gotta puke."

She was right with me the entire way to the bathroom, even when I collapsed to the ground and threw my head into the toilet. I felt her hands running up and down my back as I shook violently over and over. I thought it wasn't ever going to stop. After dry heaving a few times, I was finally done. Bella reached up and flushed the toilet for me, then grabbed a wash cloth and helped me wipe my face. I stared at her, completely in awe. "You deserve so much better than me," I whispered.

She smiled warmly at me, dabbing at my mouth with a washcloth. "You forget, there is no one better."

I shook my head, leaning against the wall a little to catch my breath. "Then I'm sorry, because Bella there's no way I could ever be enough. You deserve... you should have so much more than what I have. Or what I am."  
**  
**She cupped my jaw with one hand, watching me intently. "Edward, you really need to see yourself better. You're so much more than I ever thought I would ever have in boyfriend, lover, friend... You're amazing. I am constantly in awe of how much you juggle and how well you keep everything together. Stop selling yourself short; if anyone is inferior in our relationship, it's me."

I laughed, then coughed because it was too much. "Bella, are you kidding? You're taking care of me... letting me stay with you even though you're hurting. I really can't believe you're doing this for me." I looked down at my hands as I mumbled, "No one's ever done anything like this for me." Well, except my mother. And that's a given.

Her hand dropped down to my side where she rubbed over my feverish skin. "You would do the same for me."

I nodded, turning my hands in my lap. "I'll stay on the couch if you want." I thought for a second, then tried to push myself up. "But I'll strip the bed for you first. You shouldn't sleep in my germs."

Bella sighed and tried to help me stand. "That's not what I want." She paused, "But you're right about the bed. I'll change it; you shouldn't be sleeping in the germs if we're trying to get you better."

She wrapped my arm over her shoulder and we hobbled into the bedroom. I stopped and she looked up at me. "I can't sleep there without you and I won't kick you out of your bed."

She pulled away, letting me lean against the door frame as she went over to strip the bed. "Who said I wasn't going to be sleeping here with you?"

I tried to stand but my legs felt like jell-o. "I just implied..."

She looked up, confused. "You just implied what?"

"That you were upset, and you wouldn't want to. I can't... I hate that I'm forcing myself on you right now, Bella."

She went back to making the bed, tucking the sheet neatly under neath the mattress. "Edward, you're not forcing yourself on me. If I didn't think you should be here right now I'd ask you to leave. But you're sick. We'll work everything out when you're feeling better. Right now my main concern is making sure you're okay."

"Are you okay?" I asked, my ass once again hitting the cool floor.

Bella tossed the last pillow onto the bed, then came over to me and put a hand to my forehead. "You're still warm and I'm not liking that you can't stand up; We'll go to the hospital tomorrow if that's not better by morning. For now, let's get you back to bed." She stated, helping me up.

She helped me back into bed and tucked me in. She fucking tucked me in. "You didn't answer the question."

Bella sighed, going into the living room where I could see the lights go off. She came back in and stripped down to her tank top and under wear then crawled into bed beside me. "Tell me if my body heat is making you too warm, and I'll go into the other room, alright?"

I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. Fuck, I was still thirsty. "You're avoiding."

Bella must have been watching me because she sat up, and looked at me her brow furrowed. "I'm going to get you more water and bring over the Gatorade." She left me in bed, then reappeared with a bottle and a glass of water.. "Here, sit up." She asked, coming to sit beside me on the edge of the bed.

I took the glass from her and watched her sad eyes carefully. "You're still avoiding. I feel like I'm in a Beckett play. Everything I say will go ignored."

She put the bottle on the nightstand with a sigh. "I'm not avoiding. I just don't want to fight when you're sick. We've been fighting enough as is, the last thing I want to do is make you upset on top of everything else when you're not feeling well."

"It makes me even more upset that you won't talk to me. I... I want you to talk to me. But really, Bella if this is too much for you right now, then I'll call Ben to come and get me. You... you wanted me to leave yesterday, and yet I'm still here."

"Is Ben going to take care of you? Probably not. Edward you need someone to help you right now, just let me be that person okay? If you want to leave then I don't want to stop you, but know that's not what I want."

"I don't want to leave. I never want to leave." I sighed, slouching against the bed frame. "Bella, I love you."  
**  
**She took the cup from me and replaced it on the nightstand before reaching over to brush the hair from my eyes."I love you too."

I watched as she came around to the other side of the bed and got in. We didn't say anything for a while, and then I felt her pushing on my side. "Roll over." She asked, so I obliged. Her hand went to work on my back, rubbing gentle, soothing circles over my skin. It was then that I realized that this was it for me. It didn't matter that Tanya only broke up with me a little. I broke up with her all the way.

The next morning, I woke up to the sun streaming in through the window. I groaned when I felt the cold on my back. Monday. Of course Bella was gone. I tried to sit up a little, but my body wasn't having it just yet. Then I heard Bella's voice coming from the half opened door of the bathroom.

"Mike, I understand. Please give them my cell phone number -- yes I understand this is not the way to start off a new relationship with a client..." I heard Bella sigh into the phone, and my heart dropped. "Michael, listen to me. I don't care. I have a sick boyfriend and I'm going to take care of him today. If you feel that is unprofessional then so be it, we can compare unprofessionalism notes with the higher ups when I get back.... I _will _bring up the incident with your secretary. Yes, I'm serious." She paused. All I wanted to do was run in there and tell her I wasn't worth it. "Great, I'm glad you understand. Again, please give them my cell number and I'll be checking work emails when I can today and tomorrow, if I'm unable to make it in." Another pause. "Mike, prior to a few months months ago I hadn't taken a single sick day or vacation day in over two years. I think I've more than proven myself to this company and if you feel differently, again this is something we can discuss with the executive team when I get back. For the time being, please note that I plan to be out of the office today and possibly tomorrow." Her voice was sure and decisive. So much so that I was a little afraid. "Yes, my boyfriend is more important than this job... Yes, I'm sure. Now stop prying into my personal business. I'll touch base with you regarding the start of the project with the new company later today and I'll follow up with Francois at Chanel to confirm that we're a go for an early September launch... alright, bye." She hung up and walked back into the bedroom, her hair tied up in a bun wearing one of my tee shirts.

I felt like such a miserable shit right then. "You didn't have to do that." God, Edward. Not even _good morning, Bella, thanks for saving my life?_

She came around to my side of the bed, her face etched with worry."Do what?"

I looked back from her to the bathroom. "Call out... you didn't have to do that."

"I know, but you need someone here to take care of you and possibly take you to the doctor and I'm that person." She said softly, cupping my jaw with her right hand. "We're a team, remember?"

I blinked at her, leaning into her touch. "But you'll get in trouble. Won't you? It didn't sound like he was happy."

"You're more important."

I blinked at her. Fuck, my eyes. "I am?"

She leaned in, placing a lingering kiss to my forehead. "Mhm."

I sighed, closing my eyes then grabbing her hand. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Don't thank me Edward. I love you; you'll always be the most important thing in my life." She paused, then scooted closer to me. "How're you feeling?"

I groaned, inching back down under the covers. "Shitty."

Her face fell, and all of a sudden I felt bad for making her feel bad. "Okay. Do you have the number to your doctor in your phone? I think we should go in and get you something, since obviously the over the counter stuff isn't helping at all."

I nodded, "My mom."

"Okay, did you want to call her or me?"

I started to say me, but I felt my stomach start to turn. I looked at Bella, then pointed to her. Before I knew it my head was back in the bucket.

**BPOV**

I rubbed his back as he continued to heave into the bucket, poor thing. Once he was done I kissed the back of his neck softly, and stood to get his phone. I was torn between being protective over him and wanting him to get better and being completely hurt.

I'd heard pretty much the entire conversation he'd had with Tanya the night before and had just been playing dumb when I asked who it was. I had heard everything he'd said, from him sounding worried that she was leaving, to him pretty much telling her not to dump him til he was feeling better. He didn't want to leave her; that's what I'd gotten from it. And that's why I couldn't answer him the five hundred times he'd asked if I was okay, because I wasn't.

His cell phone was tucked into his jeans that were a pile on the bathroom floor and I pulled it out scrolling for "mom". I hit talk and took a deep breath.

"Esme Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen? Hi, my name's Isabella. I'm a-- a friend of Edward's. Do you have a moment?" I asked shakily; incredibly nervous that my first introduction to his mother would be made under such circumstances.

She laughed lightly, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "Of course, dear. How are you?"

"I'm doing well." I replied, felling myself instantly relax at her response. "And yourself?"

"Fine, fine. What seems to be the trouble?"

"Well, Edward's a bit sick. He's had a persistent cough, chills, fever and has been vomiting a lot for the past 36 hours or so. He mentioned you were his doctor so I was calling to see if you could prescribe anything so that I could run and grab it for him."

"Any bleeding, swelling, aches, pains, fatigue?"

"No bleeding or swelling that I noticed. But he has seemed a bit achy and tired; He hasn't been able to really walk around on his own without assistance."

"Hm. Disoriented? Confused? Does he he know who you are at all times?"

"A little disoriented but that seems to come with the dizziness, I think. No confusion and he seems to know me." I replied with a smile.

"Okay. Well, it just sounds like the flu. I'm afraid you'll have to ride it out. Has he been able to keep anything down?"

My face fell a bit as I answered her. "No, not even Gatorade."

She was silent for a moment and I briefly wondered if the phone had dropped her called until I heard her hum into the receiver. "If that... persists, I want you to call me then 911 immediately. Let's see...it's 8:30 now, so we'll give him until eight tonight. Can you stay with him that long?"

"Of course. Is there anything I should be doing? That I can do to make this a bit more bearable for him?"

"Motrin should help the fever, and tell him to sip the Gatorade every once in a while. But if he can't keep them down, I'm afraid he'll have to wait until he gets to the hospital."

"Alright. I'll make sure to keep an eye on him then, to make sure he's keeping the gatorade down. Should I try giving him toast so he has food in his system before he takes the Motrin?"

"Try the gatorade first, to make sure he keeps it down. That way the acid in his stomach will be at a minimum. It has to stay down for 45 minutes, then you can give him toast. Saltines would also be okay."

"Okay, got it." I paused to scribble down what she said on a pad of paper. "I really appreciate this, Dr. Cullen."

"Alright dear. And remember to call me if you need anything or if something changes." She went silent, but I heard her shuffling papers around before she continued. "Oh, and Isabella? I really appreciate you doing this for my son. He could have used a good friend like you years ago. But never matter. At least he's found you now."

I bit my lip blushing at her words. "Thank you, I really appreciate it. You've raised a great man Dr. Cullen. Edward's..." I paused trying to think of the best way to put how I saw him into one word. "Edward is an incredible person." She thanked me for my kind words in return, and requested that I call her later if we wound up going to the ER. I agreed and hung up, grabbing a bottle of Motrin from my medicine cabinet before walking back into the bedroom where Edward was sitting up in bed, sipping the water that was beside him. I moved to sit next to him on the edge of the mattress. "Your mom says it's just the flu and you'll be feeling like crap for a bit." I held up the Motrin and shook it lightly in front of him. "For now you need to drink some Gatorade, take a couple of these and rest."

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

I reached for the Gatorade and opened the bottle, handing it to him. Once he had grabbed it, I poured 2 tablets into my hand and handed them to him watching him take the medicine and hand the bottle back to me. I screwed the lid back on and placed it back on the table beside him. "You should get some sleep, Edward."

"It feels like I've been sleeping for days. SHIT BELLA!" He exclaimed, bolting upright.

My eyes went wide and I scooted back, taken by surprise at his outburst. "What?"

"I have a shoot today. Shit motherfucking balls... fuck." He slumped back against the headboard, his face going a light shade of pea green.

"No, you're resting today." I replied firmly. "Who is it with? I'll reschedule it for you."

He shook his head, covering his face with his hands as he mumbled, "Vanity Fair."

My eyes widened. "Excuse me? You are getting to do a shoot for _Vanity Fair_ and you didn't tell me? That's great news!" I replied before I could stop myself. Fuck. I sighed. "Okay, listen. I'll call them. We'll reschedule you for later in the week; I'm sure it'll be fine." I said, placing a hand on his chest. "I'll work my magic." I added with a wink.

He shook his head repeatedly. "Fucking fucking... fuck."

"Edward, listen to me. I'll fix it; we'll get it changed to later in the week and it'll be fine."

"I'm okay though... I'm okay. I don't look too sick, right?"

"Edward, you can't walk on your own volition and you're getting sick anytime you drink more than a sip of juice. You're staying home."

He dropped his head back, hitting the headboard with a solid 'thud' but not seeming phased. "You could go for me."

"Excuse me? Edward, even if I knew a little bit about photography, they want _you _to do it."

He groaned again, shaking his head against the headboard. "Fuck."

I kissed his cheek softly. "I'm going to run to your studio. You have a file for them there, with contact info right?"

He thought a moment before nodding. "Yeah, it's in my bag. In the darkroom. I think I still have some prints hanging up so be careful, okay?"

"I will, I won't touch anything except for your bag, promise." I stood up to change, throwing on a pair of jeans and a green sweater. "Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"A new body."

I puffed out a laugh. "No. This one just needs to get healthy so I can jump it again." I replied with a smirk as I walked over to him and kissed his forehead. "Call me if you think of anything okay?"

"Okay." He said grabbing my wrist feebly. "I love you."

I bent down and kissed his forehead again. "Love you too. I'll be back soon."

The Vanity Fair conversation wound up taking a lot longer than I thought. I'd had to call Francois at Chanel for a favor and have him threaten to pull their ads from the magazine - including the payments for the ads, if they didn't push back the shoot by 72 hours. Edward now had til Friday to get better; though he'd only have the weekend to take care of the slides as they couldn't move their proof deadline beyond next Monday. It was past 11 by the time I walked back into my apartment, the smell of sickness: sweat and germs, permeated in the air and I opened the windows in the living room that overlooked my complex's pool. I made my way into the bedroom, leaning my body against the door frame and smiling at the sleeping lump of Edward in my bed. He finally seemed to be sleeping a bit more peacefully and only had a few blankets thrown over him; much better than the 6 or so he'd needed the night before.

I crept quietly into the room and grabbed my laptop and cord, bring it back into the living room so I could do some work. I managed to get over 3 hours worth of work done before I heard Edward groan in the other room, a little after 2. I closed my notebook and walked quickly to the bedroom.

"Baby, everything okay?" I whispered as I approached him slowly. He groaned, his eyes half opened as his hand cluctched my wrist. "You were gone awhile." He murmured, his voice thick with sleep. I nodded. "Yeah, I got your shoot rescheduled to Friday and then I came home and was doing some work."

"Why didn't you lay with me?"

"You looked pretty peaceful; I didn't want to disturb you."

"I don't sleep as well without you Bella." He confessed.

"It's okay, I'm here now. I promise." I replied softly, standing up and getting down to my tshirt and underwear before crawling in beside him. I felt him sigh and saw him reach for the Gatorade, untwisting the cap and sipping it slowly before putting it back down. He turned onto his side and looked at me sleepily.

"I can't believe you put up with me." He lamented quietly.

"I don't put up with you Edward; I love you. People who love each other take care of one another. Thank you for letting me take care of you."

He laughed lightly, coughing a little as he did so. "Bella, only you would thank someone for 'letting them' be taken care of." I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I just smiled and moved closer, pressing my ear to his heart and rubbing my hands up and down his back gently.

"I love you; let's sleep some more." I replied into his t-shirt.

"Mhm." He agreed and I felt the top of his head rest on top of mine. "I love you too Bella. So, so much."

I smiled against his chest and closed my eyes, trying to add this memory to the vault of them I'd collected in my time with Edward. Ones, that I could look back at fondly once everything came crashing down.

Because after overhearing his conversation with Tanya, I knew now that it was inevitable.

No mater what he said to the contrary; I would lose him.


	26. Chapter 26

So bels I guess there's one good thing about us both feelin like poopers today - everyone gets a weekday update of Secrets!

I KNOW! cool beans cool beans. Glad that if I must stay home I get to hang with you :)

Definitely, the silver lining to the ickiness. And now into the best segue ever... We still don't own the characters some lady name SMeyer does out in Utah or Colorado or something...

I don't know... where ever the fuck. Maybe Vanity Fair left her in the desert when they did that weird photo shoot thing :P

Maybe. But hey, even if we're under the weather we'd still love reviews.

Yeah... that might make us feel more betterer

Defo-nately. So leave one or 5? Maybe? We also like PMs, but we realize this may be pushing it :P

Lol, maybe. then again maybe not. I think... kella kels, I think we might be able to provide a teaser for those who review? Thoughts?

Sure! I love to tease!

... wait, nevermind. But I still like the idea.

Lol, mmk. So just to recap: reviews? Get a teaser. So review, review, review! :D

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up after a few hours with my head throbbing and about a million and one things going on in my mind. I didn't want Bella to be sad, even though she clearly was. I hated that there was suddenly this void between us. Even though she was right here, right beside me in fact, we were so far apart. I rolled onto my back and blinked a few times to wipe away the sleep. They felt a little bit better, and I was surprised that my muscles actually felt like they were useful. I sat up carefully, reaching for the bottle of gatorade beside the bed and took a careful sip. I waited for the nausea. Nothing.

Epic win.

I grinned to myself, then looked over at Bella who was curled in a ball and fast asleep. I didn't want to wake her. She was probably tired enough as it is. I stepped carefully out of bed and hesitated as I stood. But I was okay. I felt okay. Not better, but okay. That was fucking amazing. I walked slowly into the bathroom, grabbing a change of clothes from my bag and stepping into the shower. The entire time I was just waiting for my legs to give out on me, or to pass out, but there was nothing. Nothing. I was okay. I stepped out of the shower after I finished and dried myself off.

"Edward?" I heard Bella call from the other room, her voice raised a little. "Edward?"

I slipped on my boxers and tee shirt. Now I had to sit. "I'm here, Bella."

the door burst open and she was rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Did you throw up?"

I laughed a little and rubbed the towel over my head. "I'm okay, for now. I just took a shower."

She hesitated, "By yourself? You didn't fall?"

I grinned up at her, "Not even once."

She smiled back at me, then put her hand to my forehead. "I'm so proud of you, Baby. But you still feel warm. How's the stomach?"

I shrugged, "Okay. I'm not nauseous."

She nodded, pressing her lips to my forehead, then pulling away a little. I shut my eyes instinctively. "I'll get you some toast. And I have to call your mom. She asked me to around now."

I leaned forward and back into her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She lifted her own gently and wrapped them around my neck. "Bella..." I whispered into her skin, taking in her scent. "I love you so fucking much, it's ridiculous." I pushed my face farther into the crook of her neck and I felt the ends of her pony tail tickling my skin. "I never knew that it could be like this."

She lent her head to mine, "Me either."

"Bella... I don't think I can stay away from you any more."

Her response was simple: "Then don't."

I pulled her gently closer to me, and into my lap. "Edward, I shouldn't--"

I shook my head against her. "You remember last night? When you got naked and you said you wanted just to be close to me? That's what I need. Please."

She sighed and I felt her hands come up to my hair and she started to gently run her fingers through it. I sat with her in my lap for a few more minutes, until I almost fell asleep. She kissed my hair and I looked up at her. "Ready for some food, love?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I love you."

She smiled softly. "Love you. Now, c'mon. Let me up." Bella was half way out the door as I finally stood. She turned back around quickly. "You okay?"

I nodded, bracing my weight on the counter. "Yeah. Can I sit on the couch? I don't want to be in bed anymore."

"Yeah, whatever you want."

I came over to her slowly, "And you'll sit with me? We can watch a movie?"

Her hand came up and cupped my cheek as she smiled at me. "Sounds nice."

I watched her worriedly. Sometimes, we were okay and others we weren't. All I wanted was for everything to be okay. Maybe we could have a redo of the last weekend? I hobbled slowly after her and into the living room as she made my toast. I flipped through the channels, trying to find something and I finally settled on the Da Vinci Code.

"This one?" Bella asked, handing me the dish and another bottle of gatorade.

"No good?"

She sat beside me, her legs curled underneath her. "It's okay. I just haven't seen it in a while."

I took a tentative bite and chewed slowly. Okay. Everything was okay. I smiled at her and she grinned broadly at me. I kept eating and watching, noticing the way that Bella was creeping closer and closer to my side. I finally finished and pulled her into me. She turned over in my arms, putting her hands on my face. "You really had me scared for a while."

I furrowed my brow at her, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." She said, shaking her head, "I just don't want to lose you sooner than I have to."

I wanted to ask her where I was going, and why she thought that but she was touching me and I was too selfish to say no to that. I didn't want to argue with her. I wanted her to love me. I opened my mouth tho speak when my phone rang. Shit, Tanya, what the fuck?

Bella bit her lip and handed me my phone. I flipped it open quickly. "Hello?"

"Edward? Sweetheart? How are you feeling?"

I sighed, and relaxed a little, "Better. Thanks Mom." I watched Bella's eyes soften as she relaxed into me again.

"Did your fever break? Have you thrown up?"

"No, I haven't and we haven't taken my temperature yet. But I had some toast and everything seems to be okay."

She sighed, "Good. Sweetheart I was so worried about you."

I smiled over at Bella, "I'm okay Mom. I have Bella with me, so it's okay."

I heard her laugh into the phone, "I'll bet. Hey listen, call me when you're feeling better and I'll take you and Isabella out to lunch. I'd love to meet that charming young lady."

My smile grew wider. "I think she'd like that."

"Good. Call me in the morning Okay? Love you."

"Love you too, Mom. Bye."

I hung up the phone laughing to myself, then looked up at Bella. "She wants to take us to lunch."

Bella looked at me, puzzled. "She does?"

"Mhm. You up for it?"

Her eyebrows creased, and she shrugged slowly almost apprehensively. Okay, guess not.

"Bella? Do you think... I know this is a lot to ask, but do you think you could come over on friday? After you get out of work?"

"Yeah, I guess."

I frowned. "You don't have to." I looked down at my hands folded in my lap. Why couldn't I get anything right with her? "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

**BPOV**I was exhausted. I was frustrated. I was just... sad. How much longer was he going to keep dragging this out, telling me he loved me and wanted me around all the time when it was apparent he wouldn't want those things forever?

My phone buzzed before I could respond to him and to avoid answering and potentially drudging up this whole thing, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby." I heard James voice echo over the received.

"Oh, hey.." I replied, sounding shocked. My mind immediately raced and tried to think of the last time we'd spoken. Thursday at therapy with Dr. Carlisle? Had it really been almost 4 days?

"How are you?"

"Oh, um... good?"

He chuckled into the phone. "That sounded like a question. Everything okay?"

"Mhm. Everything's fine."

"I miss you baby." He lamented, his voice dropping to a whisper. I bit the inside of my lip and sighed. "Me too."

"Can you swing by tonight? Maybe we could do a late dinner around 10? I really want to see you." My eyes shifted from my lap over to Edward who looked extremely uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to say _take that _but the other part of me sympathized and wanted to get James off the phone asap.

"I don't know if I can. I'm pretty beat." I replied, leaning my head against the top of the sofa. "But you're off tomorrow. We can see each other then, right?" I saw Edward's jaw clench out of the corner of my eye and his eyes snap shut as he reached for the remote and started channel surfing.

"Yeah, that'll work too baby. Can I come over? It's been so long since I've been inside you I think I forget what you feel like." I winced and pursed my lips at the thought. Since I'd met Edward, I knew there was a reason I hadn't enjoyed sex with James, aside from the obvious ones. He just... _wasn't Edward_. I sighed again wondering how many times I'd get to feel him before he decided he'd had enough and went back to Tanya completely. I gulped audibly, swallowing the bile down. James was my future. Edward was present only; I'd been made painfully aware of that when I'd heard the exchange between him and Tanya. "That sounds... nice." I replied softly. "But I have to go. Can we touch base tomorrow?"

"Sure thing. Love you Bells."

"Mhm. Me too." I replied, shutting my phone off and turning to Edward, who was sitting stoically on the couch beside me. "Sorry that was--"

"It's okay." He said, moving to stand slowly. "I've imposed on you enough, and you have things do to." He murmured, bending down to brush his lips against my forehead before weakly beginning to walk towards the door.

I bolted up and followed him, moving in front of him and blocking his path. "Hey, you are _never _an imposition, and the only thing I have to do is take care of you and make sure you're right as rain."

His mouth curved up into an apprehensive grimace. "You sure? Cause I don't want to keep you if you... need something else."

I cupped his jaw with one hand and smiled, inching my face closer to his. "Edward, when are you going to get that the only thing I need is you?"

He looked at me skeptically, as if trying to collect his thoughts. "Bella... I need you too. You know that, don't you?"

"I know you need me for now." I replied sadly, moving my hand to his forehead. "Better but still warm. I'm going to get more Motrin." I added to break the solemn mood.

"Bella, what is it? Tell me. Please?" He sighed, his eyes pleading with me to open up.

I took a breath, sidestepping him and shaking my head. "It's fine Edward." I brushed off, heading into the bathroom and grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen.

"It's clearly not fine." He said slouching down onto the floor. "One minute you want me, and the next you push me away. Sick or not, tell me what's going on."

"I heard your conversation with Tanya." I replied as the words replayed over in my head. The more I thought about it the less hurt I was feeling; instead I was seething with anger. How could he use me like that? Tell me he loved me to what, make sure I stayed in bed? I tossed the bottle of pills towards him. "I heard you explicitly say that you didn't want her to end things."

He blinked rapidly, staring at me as if I had two heads. "Bella, she was drunk. She was telling me she wanted to break up a little. I figured that breaking up a seven year relationship wasn't something to do under the influence."

I shook my head. "It's fine Edward; it's... whatever." I ran my fingers through my hair nervously. "I mean I guess if you hadn't broken up with her by now, after everything, it should have been apparent you wouldn't, ever."

"I won't?"

"Edward, you've been with her 7 years. She tried to seduce Ben. She cheated on you." I rolled my eyes thinking of how fucking stupid I'd been thinking I would be the driving force that he would be willing to end things with her for. How fucking egotistical of me. "If you hadn't after all of that, there's no reason that you'd end things with her for someone as mediocre as me."

He pulled his knees up as his face went a shade paler. "I didn't leave her because I didn't think there was anything better. I was lucky I found one person who could tolerate me, so I stuck with it. And when we were alone... it wasn't so bad. But now I have you, and love you're anything but mediocre. You're brilliant, cunning, funny, articulate," He laughed dryly. "Bella you're everything that's right in my world. But if you don't want me here; if this is too much for you, let me know. I never want you to feel... beholden to me."

"Edward," I began, sighing as I tried to put my thoughts together. "This is an incredibly selfish thing to ask, but how much longer until everything is done and you're really mine?" I asked looking down and blushing at how blatantly selfish I was being.

"This weekend? Maybe sooner, depending on when I see her." He shrugged, tugging at his hair nervously. "Bella, I don't go home anymore because I can't stand being there and pretending with her. I'll admit, it's been harder than I thought it would be, but I've never once forgotten that it's you I love, and it's you that I want to come home to." He paused, knitting his brows together and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. "It's easier to pretend she doesn't exist if I don't have to see her. Bella, I'm ashamed of what I've done to you... of what I'm doing to you. I hate that you hurt. I hate that every time I leave you get nervous and worried. I hate... what happened. But I love you. And I want us together. Really. That's what I need. No one else, not ever. I couldn't ever put you through anything remotely like this ever again. It kills me that you doubt me, and the way that I love you, but at the same time I understand. I don't follow through and I don't take care of you the way you deserve." He sighed, leaning his head back. "I'll try harder, and I know that leaving her is the first step. And I'm going to do it. Bella, I want to do it. Not just for you, but for me too. I've been settling practically my whole life and I want to have someone who loves me." He lifted his head, his eyes staring directly into mine. "And I want it to be you."

I looked up at him slightly wide eyed. "It is me. I love you... god, so much that it's kind of ridiculous. I can't imagine ever being happy without you."

His voice was hoarse and weak as he leaned closer. "Bella, I'm _not_ happy without you. Not at all. I don't try and imagine it because it's a _fact_: every time I walk away from you, I die. I know what I have to do, and please believe me when I tell you that I want to. I want to leave Tanya and Be with you. Only you. This isn't me trying to string you along and telling you what I think you want to hear. This is it. This is my reality. _You_ made me realize that, Bella, you and the way that you love me. You're always patient and kind, even when I don't deserve it. And most days, I don't." His breath was heavy and unsteady. I looked at him intently, noticing his eyes rimmed with tears. "Isabella, don't think for one second that I take the time we have together for granted." He continued, pulling his knees closer to his chest, looking lost and completely drained. "I know that you could leave; any time you could leave or you could tell me to and that makes me want to be in every moment. I don't want to think about them or our situation or what could happen tomorrow. I just want to love you and be with you." He mumbled, looking down at his lap. "I don't want the bottom to fall out."

I hurt watching him hurt. My hands slid over his legs and wrapped around his kneecaps gently pushing them down as my body scooted over his, straddling his lap. I looked into his sad eyes, and smiled shyly before lowering my lips and brushing them against his softly. I dragged them against them again, this time feeling his lips move against mine as his hands slid to my waist, pulling me closer. My arms looped around his neck lightly and my mouth moved lazily from his, across his jaw and down his neck. "I love you and I'm with you, that won't ever change." I whispered into his ear before my lips continued their descent.

"You're sure?" He asked softly.

My lips rested against his shoulder and I nodded. "Edward I need you in my life. I want to spend every day of forever with you; loving you, taking care of you, building a life with you. None of that will ever stop. There will never be a day where I don't want all of that. And I know there's a lot to get through to get to the point where we can really begin building our life together, our family, our little universe... but I will never stop hoping that today will be that day."

**EPOV**

I held Bella close to my chest, even though I knew I shouldn't have. She'd probably end up sick, but at that point I hate to say I didn't much care. i needed her in my arms, telling me that everything was okay. I nuzzled my face into her hair, inhaling deeply.

"I'm sorry I puked all over your house," I mumbled, my stomach beginning to feel a little funny from breathing in so much Bella.

Bella laughed against me, scratching at the nape of my neck. "It's okay." She murmured as she burrowed into my chest. "Are you starting to feel better?"

I nodded, but I had to pull myself away from her a little to grab some fresh air. "Kind of. I still feel really tired and stiff though."

She slid off of me and sat in front of me. "Did you want to go for a walk around the block to stretch?"

I watched her move around to put away my dirty dishes, and stood slowly with my weight braced against the wall. "You're coming with me, though, right?"

Bella laughed a little then rolled her eyes at me, "Yeah Edward. Where you go, I go" She looked over at me, and smiled; but it didn't touch her eyes. "Especially when you're as sick as you've been."

I grabbed the sweat pants she brought for me and carefully slipped them on. "Was I really that bad?"

She grabbed my jacket and passed it to me with a grin. "Bad enough for me to 're not allowed to get sick anymore, okay?"

I smiled at her, "I'll try love."

She laughed a little and kissed me quickly. "As long as you try." She grabbed my hand and tugged me forward."Come on gimpy, let's get some air."

I nodded and let her lead me out the door, then carefully down the stairs. The sun was beginning to set, but the air was still warm from the day. It must have been nice out. I heaved a heavy sigh, and felt Bella tense beside me. "It's okay, love. I was just thinking how perfect today would've been for my shoot."

She took a deep breath and squeezed my hand."It'll be good on Friday too. And if it's not they'll still come out beautifully." She paused and laughed a little. "Why didn't you tell me about Vanity Fair? That's like... a _huge _deal. We should have gone out to celebrate."

I shrugged a little. "Well, what if it fell through? Then what would you think of me? Or if they don't use my shots, which could happen, then what? It's really not that great." I looked down at the cracks in the sidewalk and tried to count them as we walked.

"We still should have celebrated. If it had fallen through, you getting this kind of opportunity is amazing and I would haven't thought anything of you - them perhaps. I mean what kind of idiots would drop an opportunity to have you shoot for them?" She scoffed, "They'd be idiots not to use you. And they knew it; that's why it was so easy to reschedule you for Friday." Bella paused before she added, "Edward, I think your an amazing artist regardless of if you're photographing for Vanity Fair or some small boutique here in Seattle. You're talented regardless of your accounts."

I scoffed a little and looked away. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. Well, no one who wasn't biologically obligated. "So you think I did the right thing, not going to Med School?"

She looked over at me, surprised. "You were going to go to Med School?"

"Mhm. I was premed until my junior year."

"And you're happier now, than you think you would have been if you'd pursued medicine?"

I sighed, "It definitely would've been different. We probably wouldn't be together if I'd become a doctor."

She leaned over and kissed my shoulder. "Then I _definitely_ think you did the right thing, not going to med school." She said with a small laugh.

I nodded, kissing the top of her head. "What about you? Any lofty aspirations?"

"I wanted to get my Master's in Creative Writing." She sucked her lip into her mouth and I almost dove of her face, germs or no germs. "I even applied a couple years ago."

I looked at her, blinking a little. "So? What happened?"

"I got into a couple of places, my top two actually..." She said, then shrugged. "But James was just wrapping up his EMT studies and it wasn't a good time and we couldn't move across the country."

I frowned, squeezing her hand. "Would you want to go?"

"I did then..." She started, but then she shook her head. "But now I don't know."

I turned away from her and coughed, "How come?"

"I don't know. I like my job now and really, what am I going to do with a Master's in Creative Writing? Teach? My salary wouldn't cover my student loans, let alone food for our kids."

I shrugged away from her a little bit, feeling slightly self conscious. "I could cover it. If it was something you want to do."

"Edward, I could never ask that from you." She said, pulsing her hand around mine. "Plus, it's not like I hate what I do now; I like it, I enjoy it. Grad school and all of that is just like James says, 'a waste of time for an impractical degree.'"

"But if it's something you wanted, and I was offering it to you..." _as your husband,_ I wanted to add. But I didn't. I let my sentence trail off.

"I wouldn't be able to accept something like that from you." She looked up at me and I saw my favorite smile on her face. She was looking at me like she loved me, and I never wanted to forget this moment. "I love that you are even thinking you would, but I couldn't." She told me, pulling her hand from mine so that she could wrap her arm around me. "I think you were right, though."

I squeezed my arm around her side, "Hm? About what?"

"We should wait to have kids." She placed a slow kiss on my chest over my tee shirt. "I want a few years where I can be selfish and monopolize all of your time." I could feel her grinning against me, and I could have squealed, I was so happy. "And pretend every day when we get home from work is Sunday."

I laughed, and spun her around to walk back toward her building, "baby nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. Just you and me or the 15 of us, you'll always be the best thing in my world."

"For me too. But I just want our world to be population two for a few years before I pop out a dozen children."

I kissed her hair again, "You can have forever like that, if it's what you want." She didn't say anything; just sighed into my shoulder and kept walking. "Did I say something, love?" My blood went cold when I realized what could be going through her head right now.

She sighed, and I could almost feel her growing distant. "No, I guess we never really talked about if you even want kids. I just starting spewing garbage about wanting them with you, and then everything at your family's lake house happened..."

I was trying to keep up with her, but in my hazy state it was a little difficult. "What everything? Everything with the baby?" Ouch. That kind of stung.

She stiffened immediately, and I felt like a complete ass. "Yeah. With the baby." She replied coldly.

I sighed and pulled her down onto the curb with me. My legs hurt and I couldn't walk anymore, and she was obviously not happy. I kept her wrapped tightly in my arms. "Bella, there will be others, if you want them."

"It's fine. Let's just... not talk about this, okay?" She asked, not looking up at me. "Let's talk about something else."

I kissed her forehead, and sighed. "Thanks for taking care of me. It was nice."

"No thanks necessary. I always want to be the person to take care of you, Edward." Bella looked up at me through her lashes and gave me a small smile. "We're a team."

I smiled at her, running my hands up and down her sides. "We are, aren't we?" She nodded and leaned in to kiss me softly. "But love my half of the team is exhausted. Did you want me to stay, or did you need to get ready for..." I couldn't say his name. I couldn't think of my Bella with _him. "_Tomorrow?"

"Can you stay?"She asked with a laugh, "If you couldn't tell, I'm not a big fan of you leaving."

I sighed, trying to lift her, but in my weakened state I couldn't hold her for very long. She let us into her apartment where she began removing my clothes. "Bella, I can always stay with you."

"You can?" She asked as her eyebrow shot to her hair line.

I looked from side to side as she lifted my sweatshirt over my head. "...yeah."

"What about Tanya's? Don't you have to go back eventually?"

I nodded, pushing my pants off of my hips to follow her into bed. "To leave her."

She looked down, a small smile playing at her lips as she undressed. "Oh."

I curled up with her after a moment, sniffling. "I meant it, Bella. I meant every word."

She crawled into bed and put her head on my chest."Tomorrow, I'm going to end it with James."

My fucking heart almost stopped beating. I was so happy I could cry. I sniffled again, "You are?"

She splayed her fingers on my stomach and started tracing small patterns on my skin. "Mhm, when I see him for dinner tomorrow night."

I pressed my fingers into her bare back and watched the pink lines they left behind. I kissed her forehead. "And it's what you want? You're not just doing it for me?"

"I'm doing it to be with you. Because _you're _what I want."

I spread my fingers over her back, pressing her into me then leaned over to shut off the light. "I love you, Bella."

She hummed in acknowledgment and snuggled against me. "Mmm, love you too."

I sighed, groaning a little at the uncomfortable ache in my chest. I felt Bella shift against me, then she started rubbing my chest. Then it all became clear.

Bella would help me.

Bella would fix it.


	27. Chapter 27

Secrets-- Chapters 25-27

KELLA KELS!

Bellerellerz!

How ya doin????

Peachy since we have ANOTHER update of Secrets this week. How're yous?

Doin good Doin good! Hey you wanna tell the kids about something awesome?????

Um... don't most people know about starbucks lattes and peanut butter m&ms bels?

Well, if they don't they've been living under a rock :P But really I was talking about our new one shot... the one posted on hellabellakellas?

Ohhh right. Go check it out. It's for a Darkward contest that is pretty nifty. It's called "Goodbye" oOoOoO...

hehehe.... you know what else I'd like to say goodbye to? Thinking that we own the rights to twilight. Cause we don't :(

Oh. Darn, I was hoping that changed. SMeyer still owns all these characters then?

Mhm... but you know what? I'd like to own some reviews; some for this hum doozy of a chap and some for darkward, how's that sound? Maybe another teaser in exchange?

I dunnnnnnno.... thought I gotta say hi to N 2 Tatz who not only left a review but sent an awesome PM wanting more dirt. :P But I guess another teaser wouldn't hurt since we have like the next 20+ chaps written. Crap, did I just admit that?

Uh, yeah... again. Shout outs? stupidlamb2010 just cause she's awesome? and I'm good to get on with this if you are :)

Def def! Remember reviews = teasers much like SMeyers fadetoblack only better!

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**BPOV**I woke up to the sound of Edward gagging beside me. I bolted up quickly, turning towards him. He was hunched over dry heaving into the bucket. I rubbed slow circles on his back as I slowly came to, realizing it was still dark out. He was breathing heavily, gasping for air as he remained doubled over. He straightened a little, his left hand reaching back and resting on my thigh as he continued to take deep breaths.

"Baby are you okay?" I asked, worriedly.

He shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... I don't... I don't know."

At his uncertainty I moved off the bed, throwing on sweats and a plain t-shirt. "Come on then, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No. No. Don't. Just... stay. Bella, don't--"

"Edward Cullen, this isn't the time to argue with me. I love you; I'm worried and I want you to get help for whatever alien baby you have living in there." I replied seriously, pointing to his stomach. My other hand reached for his hooded sweatshirt and tossed it over to him. "And I'm not going anywhere. I'll be with you the entire time."

"Bella..." He whined, jutting out his bottom lip and pouting like a toddler.

I walked over, bending down in front of him. "Just humor me okay? Please?"

"Okay. Call my mom?" He finally conceded, though still frowning at not getting his way.

I smiled up at him, sighing with relief and cupping his jaw with my hand. "Okay baby." I stood up, kissing his forehead tenderly before walking over to his jeans and pulling his cell out. "Are you good to get dressed or can I help you?"

"Can you help me?" He asked, sounding hesitant as he looked up at me wide eyed.

"Of course." I said, smiling warmly as I helped him slide on his jeans and throw his sweatshirt over his head. I kissed his cheek lightly as I tugged on the strings of his hoodie. "Love you."

"Love you, too." He replied quietly, staring down at his lap and sniffling.

"I'm gonna go call your mom. Can you lay down and try to rest for a bit?"

He nodded, hunching his back over as if it were taking too much energy to sit upright. "Okay."

I helped him lay back down and scoot up on the bed so he was resting against the pillows before walking into the living room and dialing his mother's number.

"Hello?" She greeted, her voice sounding hoarse.

"Mrs. Cullen? This is Isabella, Edward's friend?" I asked hoping she remembered me.

"Yes, of course dear. How's Edward?" She asked sounding groggy, as if I'd woken her from a nap.

"He was doing alright for a bit. Then we -- I mean, he, slept and just woke up sick all over again. He's been dry heaving for a bit now." I bit my lip, trying to pull myself together. "I'm worried about him."

"Alright, dear. Don't panic. What was the last thing you gave him?"

"He had more Gatorade, and some toast... but that was hours ago. Is it normal for him to get sick hours later like this?"

"No. Not if he was able to get it down. Did he actually vomit, or just dry heaves?"

"Dry heave, I think."

"Okay, Honey. It'll be okay. You're going to have to get him to the hospital. Is he lucid?" She asked, an edge of panic in her voice.

I nodded, "Mhm. He was mostly coherent... just seemed a little tired. Should we meet you there?"

"Uh huh. Just take his temperature, and make sure he hasn't thrown up. Can you do that for me?"

"Okay, I'll do that then we'll head over to Seattle General. Is that okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, again, Isabella." She replied before hanging up quickly.

I flipped his phone shut and walked back into the room where he was laying on the bed breathing heavily, his eyes half opened. "Hi." I smiled a little, moving to sit beside him on the bed and reaching for the thermometer on the nightstand. "Your mom wants me to to take your temperature and then we have to go to to the hospital; she'll meet us there." I cleaned off the thermometer and aimed it for his mouth. His lips wrapped around it and we waited for the beeping together. I glanced down at the bucket, thankful to not see any vomit. It was just dry heaving then. That had to be a step in the right direction, right? The thermometer beeped and I pulled it out glancing at it; 102, no good. "Looks like you have a fever still." I replied more to myself than to him as I helped him up. We made our way to my car slowly, but I put pedal to the metal as I sped through the late night streets. I double parked in front of the main entrance and helped him out. We were met by two nurses, both who seemed to know Edward and who quickly wheeled him off without even glancing at me or giving me a moment to argue.

Right now there wasn't time to be with him; he had to get well and figure out what the hell was going on with his system. I parked my car and walked back towards the hospital doors. I sighed with relief as I spotted a familiar nurse at the check-in station. "Evening Annie." I replied, resting my elbows on the counter. She looked up smiling brightly and patting her silver waves of hair down. "Oh, hi Bella dear. Did you sprain your ankle again?" She asked, looking concerned. I laughed a little shaking my head. "Wrist? Lower back?" She continued to guess until finally I interrupted. "Believe it or not, I'm not here for myself." She paused, looking to the side as if searching the far corners of her mind as to why I'd be here. "You know James is off tonight don't you?"

What? Excuse me? _Off_? No, I wasn't aware since he told me he'd be working tonight. I took a discrete breath trying to keep my focus on what was important; and James lying to me was the furthest thing from it. "Actually I'm here to see a friend, he was just wheeled in - Edward Cullen." Her face turned up from one of confusion to a warm smile. "Oh they wheeled him off, he's probably in a room with his mother and the attending as we speak." I nodded understandingly. "Alright, I'll just have a seat then and wait."

"Sure dear- and for my two cents? Edward Cullen is a far better 'friend' than James." She replied with a wink and a sly smile.

Can we say uncomfortable much? I felt like she was looking right through me and saw that my heart had Edward's name tattooed all over it with not a speck of room for anyone else's, let alone James. I sank as much as I could into the mint green vinyl waiting room chair opening up a People magazine from 2008. I covered my face, trying to hide both my reddened cheeks and quiet the racing my mind was doing with worry for Edward.

**EPOV**

"Mom, where's Bella?"

"Push the fluids and let's get him started on 500 mg of Tylenol." My mother was ignoring me. She wasn't listening, and I really needed her to. I reached out feebly and grabbed her wrist.

"Mom, where's Bella?" I asked again, my eye lids beginning to flutter.

I watched her look down at me, and sigh. There was worry etched in her eyes, and I felt bad. But I needed Bella. I was so scared without her. My mother leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead and whispered, "I'll find her, baby. Don't worry, okay? We'll call Tanya, and--"

"NO!" I wailed, trying to sit up a little. "Mom, don't okay? Please, promise me you won't!"

"Okay... shh, sh... sweetheart, relax."

I was still shaking, "You promise?"

She nodded, still rubbing my head. "Yes, sweetheart. Helen, push 4mg of Valium."

I started shaking my head, and trying to find my mother, "Mom don't. Please. I'm okay. Just... get Bella. Mom, are you listening? I need Bella... Bella... Mom."

My lips were still moving but nothing seemed to be coming out. They weren't listening. They didn't care. Bella did.

I woke up a while later, with dry lips and a huge head ache. I groaned, and felt someone gasp beside me. "Bella..." I moaned, moving my hand to try and find her.

"No, Edward, it's me." Alice's voice was small and scared, but I couldn't help but wish she was Bella. "Gotta watch that though. I could've been Tanya."

I groaned again, and felt my side twitch. Fuck, that hurt. "Where is she?"

Alice laughed and brushed my hair off of my forehead. "I'm assuming you mean Bella? Because Esme was emphatic about not calling Tanya."

"Alice, please?"

She sighed, "She's home. I sent her after I got here. Poor thing had hardly any sleep last night. I'm supposed to call her when you wake up."

I shook my head, trying to sit up, "Don't. Let her rest. She... she has work, anyway."

Alice leaned in and dropped her voice, "You sure? I know you probably want to see her."

"I do, but she needs sleep." I sighed. I wanted my Bella, and I wanted her now. But I also didn't want her in the bed beside me. Alice adjusted my pillows, running her fingers through my hair again, trying to get it to stay up. She couldn't do it like Bella always did. I wanted Bella.

"Alice, can I have your phone?" She pulled it out and handed it to me, eyeing me curiously. I dialed quickly and waited. She picked up after three rings.

"Hello?" Bella's voice was so heavy with sleep that it literally ripped me up to wake her.

"Hey, Baby." I responded, settling into my pillows, but wishing I was in Bella's bed.

"Mm, Edward." She said my name, and I could almost hear the smile in her voice. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I miss you," I lamented. Fuck, I shouldn't have said that.

"I miss you too, so much."

I sighed into the phone. I needed her; it was that simple. "Baby, I'm sorry. For making you worry. For scaring you."

"Edward it's not your fault. You can't help that you got sick." She yawned and I snuggled into the phone. "What did the doctor say? Do they know what's going on?"

I looked over at Alice, who was watching me intently. "I dunno. I just woke up. No one's been in yet. It's just Alice and I over here."

"Tell her I say hi." Bella yawned again, and I mouthed a 'hi' over to Alice. "And tell her to find out what's going on so you can come home to me soon. This bed is empty with you," her voice dropped to a low whisper; "I'm empty without you."

"Bella," I moaned as Alice discreetly turned away. "I need you. I miss you so fucking much." I still felt like shit, but that didn't mean that I wasn't completely in love with her.

"Mm.. me too Edward. Can I visit you today?"

"Please?" I asked. Alice chuckled at my eagerness, so I stuck my tongue out at her.

"If you promise me we can nap when I get there, I'll leave now." She laughed, but she sounded so tired. I couldn't believe she was actually conscious.

I sighed, "Bella, sleep. I'm not going anywhere. Come when you can. Who knows when I'm getting out of here."

"No, I don't sleep well without you. I need you. Can I come soon?"

I nodded, even though she couldn't see. I couldn't ever say no to her. "Yes, love. As soon as you can."

I could hear her fumbling around to get out of bed, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. "Mmk. Shoes are... kind of on. I'm heading out the door in like 2 minutes, once I find my keys." After a short scuffle, I heard her voice again. "Okay. I'm on my way."

She hung up without another word, and I handed Alice her phone back. "Someone should at least call Tanya," She said, dangling the phone in front of her.

I shrugged, "Text her."

"Guh, Edward, Just call."

I grabbed the phone and dialed her number. "Yes?" Tanya answered.

"Hi, it's me."

"Oh, Edward. What?"

I rolled my eyes, "I just wanted to let you know I'm a little sicker than anticipated. I'm with my mom, but I'm fine."

"Okay. Fine. Call me if that changes." And then she hung up. What the hell was wrong with me? Why hadn't I called it all off right then? Cause I'm a fucking idiot, that's why.

Alice took her phone back and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You have Bella. That's better. You deserve to have someone as perfect for you as Bella."

I was breathing heavily, "You think so?"

She nodded, "I know so."

"Ah, Sweetheart, you're awake." My mother said, coming into the room and grabbing my chart off the end of the bed. "How're you feeling?"

I sat for a minute. "Okay, I guess."

"Good," She nodded, "Now your fever's down and we've got you rehydrated. You should be okay from here on out. But, I will have to give you a prescription for the ulcer you seem to have developed."

"Ulcer?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Mhm. But it should heal in time." My mother came over and ran her hand over my cheek. "You had us worried, baby."

"I'm okay, Mom. Really."

She nodded and gestured for Alice to follow her out. "You know, it's a good thing that friend of yours is a quick thinker. Things could've been much worse."

Alice gave me a look, and I just nodded, closing my eyes again. I knew I was lucky to have Bella. I definitely didn't need my mother to remind me. I shut my eyes, and a few minutes later I felt a cool hand on my forehead. I grabbed it and kissed her finger tips, opening my eyes slowly.

"Thanks, Baby."

She looked so sleepy, but she smiled down at me anyway. "Is it too soon to kiss you?"

I pulled away a little, "Baby, I don't want you to get sick. And you probably already are, you just don't know it yet--" She leaned in and kissed me, effectively cutting me off. She pulled away, smirking at me. "Not fair." I whispered.

"You never said I had to be. Lemme in." I slid over and Bella crawled in beside me, wrapping my arms around her tiny body. Her head fell to my shoulder and I kissed her hair.

"You should've just left me." I said, running my fingers up and down her arm.

She wrapped me tightly in her arms. "Never Edward. For better or worse, in sickness and health." She planted her lips on my neck to emphasize the point.

I burrowed my face into her hair and took a deep breath. Those were things I was supposed to promise to Tanya, and yet when I thought of my vows now I couldn't imagine making them to anyone but Bella. It wasn't right any other way. I wanted to propose to her right then; slip a ring on her finger then make her mine. But I should probably get rid of the other chick first, huh? "Bella, Let's elope." I murmured.

She nodded, "Okay."

"We can go on friday... after my shoot. Just fuck everybody and do it."

"Mmk. At city hall?" She yawned, her hot breath fanning over my neck. "Should I make an appointment to get the marriage license this week during a lunch break?"

"Yeah, just tell me when. My mom can do the blood tests, if you want." I kiss the top of her head again, putting the blanket over her.

"I'm here now. I'm ready." She slipped her legs in between mine, pulling herself closer.

"Me too," I whispered. I knew right then that I wouldn't ever be more ready to be anyone's husband. Bella and I belonged together, and that as all there was to it. "Take a nap first, love. I can't have my bride falling asleep during her vows."

She pushed her face further into the crook of my neck, and curled into me. "Okay husband."

I let out a ragged breath, and kissed her forehead. "My wife..."

I loved her, and she was mine. Completely and utterly mine. Nothing could change that. I felt it deep inside my core. Bella was meant to be my wife. Anything else just wouldn't do. I needed Bella more than life itself.

Bella was my life.

**BPOV**I woke up to the sound of Edward's heart monitor beeping steadily. My eyes flickered open and I looked up at him. His eyes were shut and he looked so calm. This was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the only man I ever would.

"Why are you staring at me?" He murmured sleepily, not opening his eyes. I laughed quietly against him and rubbed my cheek against his chest, trying to diminish the blush that has sprung to life at being caught ogling. "Because you're damn sexy, even when you're attached to wires and beeping like a smoke alarm."

He chuckled softly, running a hand through my hair. "God, Baby, how do you resist me?"

"it _is_ difficult." I lamented sarcastically as I ran a hand down his chest and under his hospital gown, fisting his cock tightly. He let out a breath of air against the top of my head and groaned.

"Evidently." He squeaked out, sucking in a breath.

I smirked against his chest, placing a lingering kiss against his pecks. My hand began moving against him as my body slid down. "Wh-what are you doing?" He asked a bit flustered, his breath shortening. I looked up at him through my lashes as my face hovered over his erection. I slid my tongue flatly along his tip, moaning quietly. He let out a heavy exhale and I felt his hand grip my hair tightly. "I want to make you feel better baby. And I've missed your dick. Please let me make you feel good?" I begged, innocently not breaking my gaze from his. I watched as his chest rose and sank quickly as the monitor began beeping more quickly. He gulped down a breath and nodded slowly. I smiled, and lowered my mouth around him. "Shit Bella..." He panted as my tongue swirled down and around his length as my mouth pulled as much of him in as I could take. His hand began push my face further down, setting the pace while my hand pumped the bit of his shaft that I couldn't fit into my mouth quite yet. He groaned loudly as I pushed through the mild discomfort after a few more minutes, taking all of his cock down my throat. "God Bella, your mouth is fucking incredible." I purred acknowledgment of his statement and he fisted my hair even tighter letting out a strangled breath. His hips began thrust up meeting my mouth and my hand moved to his balls massaging them roughly. I grazed my teeth along his length lightly and pulsed his sac in my hand. "FUCK FUCK BELLA! SHIT I'M GONNA--" He moaned loudly, gasping as his hips thrust up and held still as I felt his hot cum shoot down my throat. I moaned against the feel of him and he chanted my name under his breath repeatedly massaging my scalp with his hand as he slowly began moving his cock in and out of my mouth as I licked every last drop from him.

"Ed--" I heard the nurse begin behind me.

Oh fuck.

"I--um--I..." She stammered, and I did everything I possibly could not to move. "I-- your monitor was beating off-- I mean going off... I wanted to check to see if you needed anything -- I mean not ANYTHING.. just... I'm gonna go. Buzz if you need." She sputtered out nervously. Once I had heard the door click shut I looked up at him and we burst out into laughter. I slid my body up his, still chuckling as my mouth pressed against his lips. I felt his tongue dark out and lick my bottom lip and I opened my mouth pulling his tongue inside. We continued to kiss and explore each others upper bodies with our hands for a while longer before he broke away, gasping for air.

"Glad to see you're feeling better." I smirked, propping my head up with one hand as I laid beside him. He did the same, wincing as one of the wires tugged at his chest hair. His other arm moved to my side, lazily running up and down from the side of my breast down to my hip and back.

He nodded a confirmation. "You have a very... therapeutic effect on me, love." He sighed, pulling me closer to him.

I laughed, kissing his lips quickly. "Did you find out what was wrong?"

"Evidently I have an ulcer on top of the flu. Weird, huh?"

My brows furrowed. "Did they say what caused the ulcer?"

His lips brushed against my forehead, relaxing me immediately. "No, I didn't ask. Do you think it matters?"

"No. I just know, that most ulcers are caused by stress." I replied, looking at him and biting my lip. "Maybe I caused you to have it? And maybe that's what made you so sick."

He looked at me like I was completely ridiculous and laughed against me. "Yeah, okay. Bella, if that were true I would literally quit life. So because I refuse to acknowledge you as a possible cause it can't be true." He replied, grinning broadly.

I smiled a little and kissed him again. I forgot how good he tasted and how much my lips needed his. "Do you think it's possible to find a job that requires us to never have to do anything but be like this?"

"Uh... porn?"

"No." I replied, rolling my eyes and laughing a little. "I doubt they'd let us just lay here and kiss without speeding through the filler."

His hand ran up and down my side warming my chilled body. "We could start our own company. OH! We could be product testers. You know: lipsticks and shit."

I laughed harder shaking my head and scooting closer to him so I could throw my leg over his hip. "I can't wait to marry you someday." I beamed, saying it more to myself than to him.

His hand ran down my thigh pulling it tighter against him. "Where should we do it? Here? Or would you want to go home? Or to the beach?"

"Wherever you want. I don't really care, as long as you're the one waiting for me at the end of the aisle." I answered honestly. We could get married in the middle of the Sahara during a sandstorm and as long as we could both get out 'I do' it wouldn't fucking matter.

"I'll be there, love. I promise." He whispered before kissing me lazily. "I won't ever make a vow to anyone but you." He murmured, pulling back.

My arms looped around his neck and I kissed him again. "Me either." I sighed against his lips. "So do you think you're well enough to bust outta this place?"

He took a deep breath and shrugged. "I hope so. Baby, I wanna go home." He said frowning like an 8 year old who got told he wasn't allowed to go to recess.

I kissed his pouty lips and nodded. "Alright. I'll go find a doc so we can get you released." I stated, sitting up and throwing my legs over the side of the small bed.

Over an hour later, Edward and I were walking out of the hospital holding hands. "Did you want to go back home or to your studio?" I asked as I turned on the car once we'd gotten situated.

He reached for my hand, pulsing it around mine."Home, if you'll have me."

I laced my fingers with his and let out a puff of laughter. "You say that like I might say otherwise." I turned to look at him as I pulled up to a red light. "I'll always want you. My home is wherever you are."

He smiled, laughing lightly. "You're allowed to tell me to fuck off, you know. You must get tired of having me all over you all the time."

"All over me, all the time?" I questioned as we pulled into my parking lot. "Hardly, in fact I clearly remember asking you to have you hands on me even _more_."

His hand untangled from mine and moved to glide over my stomach, resting comfortably over my bellybutton. "I'll just do this. Sporadically. So then you won't forget you're mine."

My stomach tensed at his touch and I froze a bit as flashes to the weekend at the lake house flooded my mind. I turned off the car and pried his hand off my abdomen. "Come on, let's get upstairs and nap some more." I replied, trying to brush off the sadness that had hit me like a bolt of lightening.

We walked into the apartment and collapsed on the bed. I reached into my pocket for my cell phone, feeling it vibrate and cursing whoever was on the other end. Edward's lips attached to my neck and I relaxed as I tried to pay attention to the person calling.

"Bella? It's Francois." He greeted seriously.

"Afternoon Francois. How can I help you?" I replied breathlessly as Edward's teeth sank into my shoulder.

"We need you out here. Macy's is continuing to stir up trouble and try to back out of the contract agreements." I groaned and nudged away from Edward, sitting up and moving my legs over the edge of the bed. I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at the carpet. "Those dickwads!" I hissed. "They're just... ugh. Okay, I'll come out, when would be best?"

"As soon as possible. I've taken the liberty of booking you a flight tonight. We have a meeting with the gentleman you spoke with last week along with two of his associates tomorrow morning at 9am. You'll be arriving around 5:30 New York time and have just enough time to get to the hotel, and rest a bit before we pull out the big guns."

"Big guns?" I laughed a little. "And what would those be?"

I could hear his smile through the phone. "What do you think? You m'dear; you're the big gun who is going to take aim at these jackasses." I laughed and shook my head. "I'll do my best. Just make sure Anthony from legal is there with us; we need to be able to fire out legal jargon so that they piss their pants with fear of the retaliation if they continue with this shit." He laughed and agreed to get Anthony on board for the meeting.

"E-mail me the flight details would you?"

"Already sent. Dennis will meet you at the airport again when your flight lands." He confirmed. We wrapped up the conversation and I shut my phone off turning towards Edward. "Sorry about that."

"I don't know why you apologize all the time." He said, turning his head and smiling over at me.

I sighed, flopping back down beside him. "I'm going to apologize again too. I have to go back to New York."

He twirled his fingers in my hair, wrapping pieces of brown around his digits."When?"

"Tonight."

"Okay, Love." He replied, leaning over to kiss me sweetly. "Thanks for taking care of me." He sighed, rolling over onto his back and looking up at the ceiling. "Did you want me to take you to the airport?"

"Are you feeling up to it? I want you to rest and get better."

He laughed lightly, shaking his head. "Not really, but if you need me to I will."

I shook my head. "Then it's okay. I'll call a cab." My lips pressed against his and I felt his arms wrap around my waist pulling me over him. "Do you have to go right this minute?" He murmured against my lips. I shook my head, smiling and he returned the look, moving his lips against mine again.

A few hours later I stepped out of the shower, walking into the bedroom where Edward was grinning smugly, still naked under the bedsheets. "What?" I asked as I walked over to my dresser, sliding on a pair of underwear before dropping the towel and searching for a bra.

"Nothing. I'm just glad that me being semi-weak hasn't stopped me from being able to get you to cum." I turned to look at him, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. "You're mighty sure of yourself."

"Not sure, positive." He replied pointedly. "Facts speak for themselves. How many times was that?"

"Four." I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" He asked leaning his ear towards me. I slid a black t-shirt over my head and reached for my jeans. "Four orgasms Edward."

He gave me a shit-eating grin and nodded. "Okay, just making sure my math was right."

I walked over to him, straddling his lap and kissing him softly. "What can I say? You're a sex god."

He shook his head. "No baby, I'm not. But I do like knowing I can please you."

My lips crashed against his without another word and my clothes were quickly tossed to the floor as orgasm five and six shook my body violently soon after.

I was cutting it close as the cab company called letting me know that my ride was downstairs. "So feel free to stay here as long as you want." I said, hobbling towards the living room suitcase behind me as I slid on my other shoe. He nodded, following me to the door wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

I took a deep breath as I opened the door. "I love you." I replied, turning to face him. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Love you too. Call me when you land, okay?" I pressed my lips against his and nodded. "Alright."

The drive to the airport was quiet until I realized I was supposed to be meeting James for dinner. Shit. I whipped out my cell phone dialing his number.

"Hey baby." He replied cheerfully into the receiver.

"Hey, how's your night going?"

"Alright, can't wait to see you. I hate that our schedules have been so off lately."

I groaned internally. "James, I can't come by tonight."

His voice dropped, sounding disappointed. "What, why? We had plans."

"Yea, but there's an emergency with Chanel and I have to fly back to New York. I'm on the way to the airport now."

"And you couldn't have told me this SOONER?!" He spat angrily. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I just found out myself. They bought me the ticket this afternoon."

"I don't fucking care Bella. Your job is taking precedence over our relationship. This is bullshit!" He scolded. "James, I'll be back in a few days. You won't even notice I'm gone. For fuck's sake I haven't seen you in almost a week!" I argued. It wasn't fair that we saw each other once a week and yet he was angry that I was going away on business for a few days. "Yea, but I know you're HERE if I want to see you!"

"Excuse me? If you WANT to see me?!" I yelled back into the phone. "What, you mean when you aren't 'working'? Like last night? What, or rather _who _were you working James? Because it sure as hell wasn't your job at the hospital."

"I was fucking there!"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" I yelled. "I was THERE and you weren't!"

"What?" His voice dropped and worry wafted through the line. "Why were you there? Are you okay?"

I waved off the statement, surprised how easily the lie slipped between my lips. "My friend got really sick. I was there for him."

"HIM? Bella since when do you have guy friends?" He asked, his voice raising again.

Ugh. "Since always."

"No, not true. You have a small handful of friends and they're all women."

"I'm not having this conversation with you James, it's stupid."

"Bella are you cheating on me?" His voice was accusatory and thick with malice.

"Well isn't that the fucking pot calling the kettle black?" I retorted. "James, I'm not fucking dealing with this right now. I have to catch a flight and I don't have time to argue with you over the gender of my friends."

"Maybe you just don't have time for US anymore." He growled.

"You know what? Maybe you're right. In fact, I know you are - I fucking don't." I replied shutting my phone off before he could say anything else. I leaned my head against the window watching the cars zoom by as we neared SeaTac.

Wait did I just break up with James?

This was all bullshit. I couldn't believe he had accused me of... doing what I was doing. Ugh, what a mess.

**EPOV**

Okay.

Now what?

I looked around Bella's apartment and without her, it seemed like a waste. I didn't want to be here without her. It just didn't feel right. I sighed and began to pick up the shit I had scattered all over the place from being sick. It was gross that I'd let her wallow in my germs and I groaned internally when I thought of her getting as sick as I had been. I washed all of my dishes and soaked them, then threw away all of the half empty bottles of gatorade. Once that was done, and I'd changed the sheets again, I crawled into her bed, feeling that familiar ache in my chest whenever we were apart. I needed her here, but instead I was alone.

I wanted her, and that was it.

I tossed and turned for a little while until I finally feel asleep. I should've asked my mother for the sleeping pills because I still felt like shit. I could here it in my voice when I heard from Bella the next morning.

"Hey, Baby, you okay?" I asked, wiping sleep from my eyes. "How was the flight?"

"Long. I'm sorry for waking you... it's like not even 3am there." She laughed quietly into the phone. "Are you still at home?"

I groaned softly, stretching a little. "Yeah, I'm not up to the drive to the studio yet. I hope that's okay?" What if she said no? I'd have to call Ben, and... my thoughts were cut off by Bella's voice.

"Of course it's okay. That's our home; you never need to ask if it's okay."

I missed her too fucking much. "Baby, I love you. Is it bad that I miss you terribly already?"

"No, because I miss you too." She paused. "I think James and I broke up on the way to the airport last night."

I perked up, "You did?" I was wondering how she was planning on doing that.

"We got into a big fight and I pretty much said I was over everything; him, us... all of it."

"How are you?" I mean, five years with this guy... she'd have to be at least a little sad, right?

"Aside from exhausted that I had to try and sleep without you and have to spend however many days away from you? Never better."

"You don't know when you're coming back?" I asked, completely awake now. Although, I just might have had to throw up again.

"Not yet. I should have a clearer idea after the meeting this morning. I'm hoping everything will go our way today and I can be on the 8pm flight from JFK and be home by midnight. This whole you and I being apart thing? Yeah it doesn't work for me."

I sighed, nodding even though I knew she couldn't see. "Baby, I need you with me. Come home as soon as you can. I can't be without you."

"I'll do my best." She promised, and I heard the hotel room door opening. "How're you feeling?"

"Sore. I'm still pretty uncomfortable, and I can't sleep. But other than that and the bruise on my heart, I'm okay."

"Bruise on your heart?" Her voice dropped with worry. "What's wrong?"

Wasn't it obvious? "Bella, I miss you. My heart hurts when you aren't with me."

"Move in with me."

I laughed, "Baby I pretty much live here anyway. I have keys. Makes sense. Do you really want me to?"

She laughed, and I wanted to squeeze her. "Yea; I just... I like knowing I'm coming home to you and knowing you're coming home to me. And I want your stuff amongst my stuff, not just you spending the night. I like seeing your toothbrush there and your shampoo in the shower. I want more of that."

I smiled, thinking of every night being like last friday. "Okay, Baby. You can have that."

"Do you want that? I mean, I don't want to push... technically you're not even really available for me to be asking that of you."

"Says who?" I rolled over and shut my eyes. "Bella, I'm yours. All of me. I want to be around you and be with you whenever I can. Why wouldn't I want to come live with you?"

"I just want to make sure you don't think I'm pushing you. I've never... wanted to live with someone before." She gave a nervous laugh, "I just want to make sure this is okay to ask."

"Sweetheart, you can ask me anything. Sound good?"

She yawned as a way to acknowledge my statement. "So can you fly out here in half an hour and nap with me for an hour before I have to go in for this meeting?"

I thought for a moment, cringing slightly at how tired she sounded. "I can be there on saturday? And we can sleep until tuesday when i have to be back here."

"I hope I won't have to be here til then, but if I do that sounds perfect."

I smiled. "I hope I get to see you tonight, love. I might go insane without you."

"Me too. Especially now that I can be entirely yours without having the baggage of having to worry about James. This is it... it's really happening."

I laughed again, feeling the exhaustion seeping back into my body. "What was it before? A realistic simulation?"

"No... I don't know. Nevermind."

"Tell me." I pleaded. I always wanted to know what she was thinking.

"I just felt like there was always a chance that this wouldn't happen." She sighed, as my heart broke. "After last night, I know this isn't just some, as you put it 'realistic simulation'." She paused, "I left James. I'm with you and only you."

I let her words sink in and I felt my lips curl into a smile. "Bella, I love you."

"I love you too - obviously." She laughed

I closed my eyes, and rolled onto my back. "baby, you should get some sleep. You probably have to get going soon."

"Mmm.. probably. Plus it's ridiculously late there, and you need to rest." She yawned again, reminding me how comfortable her bed was. "I'll call you later and let you know when I'll be leaving okay?"

"Sounds good, baby. I love you."

She told me the same then we hung up. I sighed once I realized what I'd done. I'd promised something to Bella that I wasn't completely able to give. Of course I could move in here with her, and be with her and love her all the time. But there was one obstacle to all of this: Tanya.

I fell back asleep after a little while, but once I woke up and took a shower I knew what I'd have to do. I sat on the couch in my sweats and dialed her number. She picked up almost instantly.

"Edward? Where are you?"

I sighed, "Why, Tanya. What's wrong?"

She huffed and puffed a little, "You never came home. And let's talk about the fact that I haven't _seen_ you in DAYS!"

"You could've called." I said, my voice a little harsh.

"Like you would've answered. You were probably fucking that little tramp all weekend, weren't you?"

"Okay, for the millionth time: No. And you know I was sick this weekend. I called you from the hospital, and last I checked you didn't want to hear about it!"

"YOU SAID YOU WERE WITH YOUR MOTHER!! She'd a fucking doctor, Edward. What would I have done?"

I let it sit in dead air for a moment while I got my thoughts together. "Tanya, I don't think this is working out."

"Excuse me?" She hissed.

"You and me. I'm not happy, and neither are you. We fight constantly, and I never see you. What's the point?"

"But I love you," She whispered.

"You don't though. You love your job and your power. If you loved me, you would've come straight to the hospital while I was there. And if I loved you...I would've wanted you there."

She said nothing. There was just silence on the other end of the line. I knew it was harsh, but it needed to be said. I just clicked off after that because I didn't know what else to say. I just hoped that that would get the job done.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Bels... holy crap... look who it is!

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**BPOV**After waking up from my power nap at the hotel my day seemed to speed by. It felt like the meetings were endless and the arguments even more draining. At a quarter to 8 that evening I was slouched in Francois' office physically beyond the point of exhaustion.

"You did great today, despite the crazed schedule." He commended patting my knee as he pulled a file from the main hallway and walking back around towards his desk. "How are you holding up?" He asked, concern spread across his face. "Good," I sighed. "Just tired." He nodded. "Well Nathan and I are going to dinner, did you want to grab a quick bite before calling it a night?"

"Nathan?" I asked, raising a brow. He nodded. "The new boyfriend." I chuckled and shook my head. "Should have guessed." He grinned and leaned forward. "Speaking of boyfriends... how is that epitome of walking sex boyfriend of yours?" I laughed harder and yawned, nodding. "He's good. He has a shoot with Vanity Fair on Friday." His eyebrow shot up into his hairline. "Vanity Fair? I thought he said he only did freelance with local companies in the Seattle area?"

"He's modest. He's a lot better than he lets on."

"Obviously." Francois scoffed. He leaned back resting his hands on his stomach. "So, dinner?" I shook my head. "No, I should get back. I need to call Edward." I sat up a little straighter as I realized we hadn't discussed how long I'd be here. "So obviously, I'll be here the rest of the week..." I trailed off, looking at him for confirmation. He nodded. "Ideally, I'd like for you to stay until everything is launched, but I realize that you have other clientele--" He paused, looking at me directly. "I checked with Michael. Now, don't take this the wrong way, but he's kind of... is he a bit slow in the head?" I was so shocked at his question, I couldn't help the burst of laughter that racked my body. I shook my head, catching my breath. "No, that's just his personality. I'm fairly certain he's all there... at least most of the time." He seemed to buy it and nodded slowly. "Well, regardless he told me about the new project your starting." He took another pause before sighing. "I really hope you're considering the offer I made you on your last trip here; about coming to work with us permanently." I nodded. "Yes, I'm still considering it; however, for now I'd like to work out how long you think I'll be needed here."

"Like I said, we'd like for you to say until everything is launched."

"But you also said you understood why I can't."

He nodded. "Yes, I did; however much I'd like to call Mr. Newton and rip him a new asshole for giving you another project at a time like this..." He took another heavy breath, fanning his hand in front of himself dismissively. "Regardless, I think another week or two here will be fine. Then we can resume planning the launch party and fashion show." I sighed internally, wishing that he would have said I could leave on Friday. I stood to leave, nodding with understanding. "Alright. I'll let Michael know."

"And your boyfriend." He replied with a wink. "You should ask him to pull another Prince Charming and fly out here to surprise you."

I laughed as I made my way to the door. "If I ask him it won't be a surprise." He shrugged. "Tomato...toe-mott-toe - same difference." I rolled my eyes, waving behind me towards him as I made my way out of the office.

Half an hour later I was pushing open my hotel room door and kicking off my heels. Thank god the day was over; it had gone by so quickly and yet seemed to never end all at the same time. After taking a quick shower and changing into one of Edward's tshirts and a pair of sweat pants I dialed his number.

His voice was muffled and thick with sleep as it echoed over the line. "Hello?"

"Baby?" I asked quietly, cursing myself for waking him.

He sighed, and I could hear his smile through the phone. "Bella."

"Hey, how're you feeling?" I asked, leaning against the stack of pillows propped against the headboard.

"Getting there. What about you? You must be exhausted. You didn't have to call, love."

"I know, but I missed you... a lot. I'm sorry for waking you."

He laughed lightly, shaking it off. "It's okay. I was only taking a nap anyway. I have something to tell you."

"Oh?" I asked, perking up a bit.

"Baby, I did it."

"... did what?" I asked, completely confused.

He chuckled into the receiver before answering me. "Bella, right at this moment, with the exception of us being together what's the one thing that I could tell you that would make all of your dreams come true?"

"Um... that Santa's real?" I joked, closing my eyes slowly and relaxing into the mattress.

"Mhm. And I have his number. What should I tell him you'd like?"

I laughed softly into the receiver. "Hm... you in this bed with me right now."

His voice dropped to a soothing tone. "Baby, that was the exception."

"What? What do you mean?"

"It's the one thing that will make you happier than anything, with the exception of us being together right now." He sighed. "You know, you're really bad at these games, love." He laughed lightly and I could just picture him rolling his eyes at that instant.

"Hey, I should be allowed a reprieve, I _am _exhausted." I replied defensively, laughing under my breath. "Happier than anything, you say? Hmm... You got me an engagement ring from Tiffany's and are planning to propose to me when you see me this weekend?" I replied jokingly.

"What's your ring size?" He asked, his voice sounding serious, like stone.

My breath hitched in my throat as the calmness in his voice waved through my ear. "Ah... um... 6." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Why?"

"Because if you're going to be my wife, then you should have a ring. And since I can give you that now, I think I will." He mused, chuckling quietly more to himself than me, I think. "Yeah, I think that's a great idea. Thanks, love."

"... you can give me that now?" I asked, trying to get confirmation of what it seemed like he was saying. "You... and Tanya..."

"No more. Just you and me, love."

My lips could not contain the gigantic smile that broke out at his news, so I began laughing uncontrollably. After a few moments, I took a couple deep breaths steadily my heart rate. "Sorry, I just..." I trailed off trying to put into words what I was feeling. "I can wait to see you this weekend. Will you fly out after your shoot?"

"Yup. Barring some unfortunate relapse, I'll be there."

"Thank God it's already Wednesday. I can't wait to see you... even more, now."

"I knew you'd like it." He replied, smiling into the phone.

We made small talk for the next hour or so before I realized I hadn't told him about my conversation with Francois. "So, I spoke with Francois today about how long I'll be needed here." I paused biting my lip. "How long do you think you'd be able to stay with me?"

"Hm. If I leave friday after my shoot, I'll probably have to leave by sunday morning at the latest. I have to develop my shots, and send them in for monday by 2."

My voice dropped a little. I was hoping he'd be able to at least stay until Tuesday. I didn't like the idea of having to go a full week without him. "I have to stay at least another full week, possibly two."

"Fuck." He sighed, sounding just as frustrated as I was as the duration. "What If I come out... Tuesday? Then I can stay until the following Thursday?"

"I don't want to throw off your schedule, so whatever is easiest and works best for you." I replied, trying to keep myself from being selfish and begging him to develop the shots Friday night and fly out Saturday and stay until I had to leave.

"Baby, either way. I just have to develop them. So it either means coming out later and staying longer or only coming for two days. Honestly?" He replied with a sigh, his voice dropping. "I'd rather take the red eye Monday night just so that I can get a good nights sleep for an entire week and a half."

I sighed and nodded. I'd just have to be patient. "Okay, Tuesday morning it is then."

There was a pause before I heard his voice on the other end again. "It's not _so_ bad. I mean, it could be worse..." He said, trailing off. I knew he was just trying to make it easier on us, but it wasn't really working.

"I know." I replied. "It's just now it sucks that it's only Wednesday; that means I have to go an entire week without feeling you here." I lamented, crawling under the covers and wrapping myself up in them snugly.

"Tuesday is kinda far.. fuck."

"Yea... it is."

"Too far?"

"Yea, but I'd rather see you for a week than a day and a half."

"Fuck." He puffed out, sounding put off by how long we'd be apart. Thank god I wasn't the only one.

"...Yea." I sighed. "Anyway, I'm going to get some rest. I'll see you Tuesday?" I asked, trying to hide the sadness in my voice at having to wait so long to see him.

"Yeah... fucking Tuesday. I love you, Bella. Are you happy?"

"I'm happy." I replied, yawning as my eyes fought to stay open.

"Perfect. Sweet dreams, Love."

"Love you Edward." I murmured sleepily, before shutting my phone and placing it on the nightstand. Tuesday could not come soon enough.

**EPOV**

Thursday went by exceptionally slowly, but thankfully I had something to look forward to on Friday.

Work.

Woo fucking hoo.

I drove nearly and hour and a half outside the city to the estate of some lady who was winning the Nobel Peace Prize for inventing the coffee cozy. Who knew? It would've been a good, quiet drive had I gone alone. Instead, I brought Ben. Ben, who hadn't shut up once in the last 45 minutes.

"So this girl.. I can't remember if she was Tina or Teresa but one of them... FUCK dude I wish you had been there, I coulda really used a wingman in Guatemala..." He paused, looking over at me. "Course, with some convincing they were both up to handling me."

I rolled my eyes, and adjusted my grip on the wheel. "I bet they did. Don't you ever just want to... stop for a while?"

"Stop?" He looked at me like I'd just told him that I shit feathers and sell them. "Why the hell would I want to stop?"

I shrugged, all of a sudden feeling self conscious. I used to be like this kid, and now I was thinking about getting engaged to another girl? Fuck. "Maybe... there's something more than being smashed between Miss Peru and Miss Guatemala. Something that's... I dunno... kinda cool?"

"First off," he waved his index finger at me. "Ms. Peru, Ms. Guatemala AND Ms. X South American Country lady are all... _cool_." He winked, "And two, maybe there is something more than that but the way I figure it; only one in a hundred if that, get to be with their soul mate. And after seeing you and Bella - my chances are fucking shot - because you two are it man."

"Why would your chances be shot? And thanks... for that... about me and Bella."

"Dude, think about it. If my best dude over here found his perfect lady, and the chances are _at least _one in a hundred, what are the chances I'll even meet her, let alone get the opportunity to be with her? I mean, let's face it - what you and Ms. Isabonita have not many fucking people get. I mean, dude how fucking lucky are you? She's hilarious, smart, she fucking deals with all the shit you throw her way with fucking _grace _and not to mention she looks fucking MMMM... MMM.. GOOD in a bikini." He paused for effect, or to piss me off. I wasn't entirely sure. "You think everyone gets a chance with a girl like that? Psh, if I get one outta those 4 I feel priv-fucking-lidged."

"Okay, here we go. I hear you saying anything about Bella in a bikini ever again, I will not hesitate to spoon your eyes from their sockets, understood?" I glared at him over my shoulder for emphasis, "And I know I don't deserve her, but the thing is I probably never will. I won't ever be everything that Bella needs. The thing is just trying to get her to stay with me regardless. Whether or not she needs me, I need her."

"Uh dude? Did _you _recently have your eyes spooned from your sockets? That girl fucking stares at you like a lost fucking puppy who just found her owner. You're her fucking universe man, how the fuck do you not see that? What the hell do you think Tanya was going on about at Alice's party? Bella never looks at you like your someone undeserving or average. She looks at you like she can't live another minute looking _away _from you. And I bet if you asked her point blank how much she needed you, she'd tell you more than fucking air man. And that's some real fucking talk."

I shrugged. Sure, Bella could say those things, and maybe all of that was true but the fact of the matter was that I needed her more. She brought me back to life, and back to a reality that I never thought I could have again. She made everything possible. "Tanya and I split."

Ben's expression never faltered. "Bout damn time you dropped her."

I sighed, "You don't understand; Tanya and I--"

"Should have broken up years ago when the whore tried to come on to me after you proposed... I mean seriously dude, you're one of the most logical guys I know. Why the fuck would you write something like that off?"

"Because... Because I loved her, you know? If Bella..." I took a deep breath, "If Bella had done the same thing, I can't say that I would react any differently."

"So you're telling me that you love Bella the exact same way you loved Tanya?" He scoffed, looking back out the window. "Then dude, I HOPE Bella fucking pulls a Tanya cuz I'd tap that--"

"Don't even fucking say that. Don't even fucking..." I took a deep breath to try and calm down. Didn't work, I still wanted to punch him. "That's not what I meant. Just that when you love someone, you let them get away with more, and Tanya... I always kind of felt like having her and dealing with her shit were what I deserved. For being such a disappointment." I made sure to keep my eyes trained on the road as I spoke, seeing not only the road but my fathers hard green eyes staring back at me. Such a disappointment.

"Disappointment dude? How? Cuz you kept your balls intact and followed your dream instead of someone else's? You would have been MISERABLE being a doctor! I still don't get why you can't see that. You and I woulda never explore Thailand or Vietnam, or had a run for it in Spain with the bulls cuz you would have been off studying for your MCAT or stressing over residency. You love being a photographer and if that shit puts money in your pocket to where you can live and makes you happy fuck what Tanya thinks. Hell dude, how sound is her reasoning if she's trying to call you out for cheating, when that's pretty much what she's been doing the entirety of your relationship?"

I laughed, feeling my stress diminish with every word. "Doesn't matter."

"You're right, it doesn't. Because you have a chick, the hottest chick in the entire state of Washington loving you and thinking you're the cat's fucking meow."

I laughed and turned into the woman's driveway. "I do, don't I?"

And in the end, Bella and her opinion of me mattered more than anything that anyone else could possibly say. She was the one that mattered, and she was the one who would love me always. She was the only one I needed to make proud.

The rest of the afternoon went so smoothly that Ben and I were done by three, and heading back into town. The entire estate made me think of Bella. The huge expanse of a back yard, the open space... everything just screamed Bella. Maybe because of this, or just because I'm insane I decided to run my new plan by Ben.

"I think I'm going to propose to Bella."

There was silence before he spoke. "Just so that I won't bone her? That seems a bit drastic."

I rolled my eyes, then turned to him. "No, shit head. Because I love her and I want to be with her forever. It seems... right."

"You wanted those things with Tanya though, not too long ago. What makes this different?"

I laughed when I thought about it. What makes this different? Only everything. "Ben, Bella's so much... cooler than Tanya. She's kinder, smarter, more down to earth. I was with Tanya for seven fucking years-- since I was a kid. And... instead of growing together, we grew apart. Bella's--"

"Pre-made? Like one of those Mama Celeste Pizzas?"

I looked at him, and furrowed my brow, "I suppose you could look at it that way. I just... Tanya and I haven't wanted the same things for a while, but Bella and I seem to be on the same page. We can make it. I want to make it with her."

He nodded, "You're sure? You aren't going to end up cheating on her in seven years?"

My stomach turned at that, and I felt like I was going to puke all over again. "Never."

He nodded again and pulled out his cell. "Who are you calling?" I asked.

"You'll see. Swing a left here."

I did like he asked, then realized where we were going. Sure enough. "Hey, Penguini How ya doin?" He screeched into the phone. "Yeah, Teds and I are gonna hit Tiff's you wanna come?... Mhm...Mhm... Bella... Mhm... trashed her... Mhm... i know... Yeah, she was a cunt... Oooo... Mhm... K... so yeah, waddle down the drive way, and I'll like hoist you into the car. Okay. Bye."

I laughed to myself and he slapped my shoulder. "ALICE HO!"

I laughed again as I turned down their street, then into their drive way. Ben just hopped out and started yelling "al-ICE!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming! JESUS! Come over here and help a preggo whale out wouldya?"

I got out and jogged over to her, kissing her on the cheek quickly. "Hey there."

She basically radiated happiness. "Hello brother in law! Job well done dumping Tanya on the phone like that. Classy." She said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I sense some disapproval. How did you hear?"

"Tanya called Jazzy." She told me before turning to glare at Ben. "Move. Preggo whales get front seat."

"Uh, bitch much Penguini? And fineee." Ben moved to the back seat of the volvo and I looked at Alice skeptically. "You knew he was speaking to her?"

She looked at me like I was an idiot. "Yeah... and he's been having lunch with her once a week for the past few months. Didn't you know?"

I looked back at her wide eyed, "No... I had no idea."

"Oh, yeah. After you told him about how she was messing around with another guy he called her up." She shrugged, "It doesn't really matter though, does it? I mean, at the end of the day everyone has a past. Jazz loved Tanya and so did you." She laughed lightly, "If anything that just gives Bella and I one more thing in common - loving men who used to fall in love with sluts."

I turned on the car and pulled out. "I'd disagree, but then I'd be lying."

Ben's head poked in between the seats, "So how is old bitch face?"

She turned back (as much as she could) to look at Ben in shock. "You honestly think I pay attention to how she is? Once Jazz confirms he didn't fuck her and she didn't hit on him I ignore any sentence he starts with 'Tanya...'"

I was completely baffled by everything, "He _talks _to you about _her?"_ What the fuck was this the Twilight Zone? And where the fuck was Bella?

"Psh, Edward. You really think I'd let him see her and not expect a full report when he got back? I may not care, but I'm a wife and mother I have my touchy subjects... Tanya is one of the subjects I'd like to _touch_.." Then she growled. Yeah, Alice fucking _growled._

I looked at Alice quickly, then back at the road. "Let's just get the fuck out of here. If he's going to be friends with my ex... that's completely disrespectful. Not only to you but to Bella."

Ben nodded, "Yeah. Everybody likes Bellista."

"So not that I mind in the _least, _but why the manly bonding trip to everyone's favorite blue box jeweler?"

I looked at Ben, "You didn't tell her?"

He shrugged, "I thought it was implied."

"What's implied?" She kept looking between us, but neither Ben nor I said anything. "What???" She stopped on me, and her eyes went wide. "OMIGOD YOU'RE GOING TO PROPOSE TO BELLA! BELLA'S GONNA BE PROPOSED TO!! OMIGOD I HAVE TO CALL HER!!!!!!" She practically dumped her purse on her lap as she searched for her phone.

I slapped my hands over hers and held them in place. "You're really going to call my girlfriend and tell her that I'm about to propose to her?"

"Edward! Do you know what this MEANS?! It means that she's going to be your wife and even BETTER and MORE IMPORTANT - MY SISTER!"

I sighed, and Ben tapped her shoulder. "Penguini, she's his girl. Let him do the talking. Besides, if you warn her she might get away. It's like a lion. No quick movements or it attacks." He held up his hand in a clawing motion,"Rarrrr."

She huffed, "Fine. Party poopers." She was quiet for a minute as she pulled her hands out from under mine. "But the rock better be big. She's put up with a lot from you Edward." She warned, before putting her hand on my arm. "Can I be the first to congratulate you even though you haven't done it yet? Because really, _thank you_ for not forcing me to be family with Tanya the Tart."

I laughed, and pulled into the parking lot. "S'okay, Alice. And you can pick the ring. But if it doesn't remind me of Bella, forget it."

She scrunched up her nose, "Ew Edward. I expected better from you. Yeah I'd love to pick out the ring, but if I did I'd feel like _I _should be proposing to Bella. And if we lived in Massachussettes and I was a lesbian sure... but, no."

I ran a hand through my hair as Ben helped her out of the car, "The last time I did this..."

"Your girlfriend wanted to pick out her own damn ring because she was a materialistic wench from h-e double L." She told me, wrapping one arm around Ben's.

I laughed. "H-e double l?"

She glared at me and I shivered. "Do you want me to help or not?"

I put her arm through mine and we headed in the direction of the store. "How did Jasper take it?"

"How did he take what?"

"That we broke up. I mean, he didn't call or anything, and he's still probably pissed about Bella."

"Whoa, whoa dude... are you like, dating Jasper?"

I glared at Ben over Alice, "That would be incest you shit fuck."

Alice laughed between us. "He's fine. I think he's a little upset at HOW you did it; whereas I think you shoulda dumped her in an e-mail or by like... courier pigeon."

"I would have done it through telekinesis if I could." I replied holding the door open and stepping inside. I just stood there for a moment. I was really doing this. Bella would be my wife... after a simple payment of a few thousand dollars.

"C'mon, Penguini," Ben said pulling Alice along. "He needs a moment to collect himself."

She tugged Ben up to the cases, and began looking at everything. "Do you think she'll need a wedding planner? Do you think she'd let ME plan it? Oh! Do you think she'd prefer a spring or fall wedding? OMIGOD WHAT IF THEY ELOPE?!" She spun around to face me, wagging a finger. "I don't care when or how you get married, just PROMISE me you won't elope!"

I held up my hands, "I promise nothing. I could come home married next week."

Her eyes went wide. "You need a witness Edward! Tell me the night before and I'll sneak away... third trimester flying regulations BE DAMNED!"

I shook my head, leaning over on of the cases. "A. Your first priority should be the baby, and B. I still promise nothing. What Bella wants, Bella will have. And if she wants to get married next week, then so be it."

Ben let out a low whistle. "Whipped, much?"

Alice huffed again, putting an arm on top of her belly. "Fine. I'll just have to convince Bella not to do it in New York."

"You aren't allowed to tell her, okay? Please, Alice?"

"I won't I swear." She said defensively, "Doesn't mean I can't try and convince her when she calls to tell me though..."

I sighed, "Whatever." I looked back down into the case and immediately lost my mind. I turned back to tweedle dee and tweedle dum. "Are you gonna help me, or what?"

Alice waved over a sales associate, and within minutes I was looking down at a bunch of boxes filled with engagement rings. "There, now pick one."

I shook my head, "Wait, what?"

Ben's hand clapped over my shoulder, "You see Teds. You and Bellista are getting engaged, so you buy her a ring so that she's eternally indebted to you."

Alice rolled her eyes. "What STD Stan is trying to say is that this is the ring that she's going to wear for the rest of her life to remind her of you. Every time she looks down at her hand she'll see this ring and sigh wistfully as images of you and her fill her cute little head." She smiled, "Now pick."

I sighed, looking down at the five basic styles. Bella. I was looking for Bella. And I found her in a medium size solitaire. "That one." I reached to grab my wallet. "How much?"

The clerk smiled. "$8,500."

Ben gaged, "Seriously? Teds, she's hot but we could always go to like... Kohl's and get one for $19.95."

Alice turned to Ben, "You know, I'm not even surprised. With the cheap girls you play with I would imagine spending 20 bucks would be like paying for what they're worth."

He stuck his tongue out and I handed the guy my card. "You two are worse than a pair of five year olds."

They blinked at me, "What?"

"I'm buying an engagement ring for my girlfriend, and you two are going at it like there's no tomorrow. Please... just gimme a sec to enjoy this, okay?"

Alice put her small hand on my back and started rubbing soothing circles. "Sorry Edward. We know this is big. You're marrying the perfect girl for you. Bella's an incredible woman."

Ben smacked my back, "Congrats, Teds."

I rolled my eyes, and shook my head. Then I signed the credit slip. "How soon can I have it?"

The guy looked at me like I had six heads, "Well, right now. She's a six you said?" I nodded, "Right now. Just give me a moment to get it for you and you can inspect it."

I grinned, "Thank you."

Twenty minutes and nearly nine grand later, Bella had an engagement ring. Now all I had to do was get her to say yes.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: So a quick little post. Instead of doing a teaser Bels had this GREAT idea of posting this little thingy in lieu of a teaser for all the awesome ones out there that reviewed.

Yeah! So I hope you like this one (even SMeyer, who owns all) and maybe this will get us extrasupertonds of reviews!

Yes'm! Please and thanks :)

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**BPOV**The weekend sped by faster than I thought. Francois and his new flame, Nate took me to Nate's house upstate to get away from the city for the weekend. We had a nice girl's weekend in nature and Monday morning passed in a whirlwind of more meats and contract renegotiations. I had stayed at work til nearly 3am Tuesday morning so that I could get all of the reporting done I had to in order to feel comfortable taking the day off.

Thank god Edward's plane wasn't landing til mid morning.

Despite having talked to him daily, it wasn't the same. I missed him and there was this new level of love that I'd hit the moment he said we could really do this; we were really together. I paced around the baggage claim area looking for him as my eyes shot back to the monitor where it said his plane had landed. I walked over to the escalator and then back towards the carousel where people from his flight were gathering. That was when I spotted him; the familiar mop of bronze hair sticking out above most of the people around him.

"Edward!" I yelled as I sprinted towards him. He had barely stepped away from the masses when I lunged at him wrapping my arms and legs around his dramatically. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as I felt him laugh against me.

"I missed you, too." He chuckled, placing a firm kiss against my neck. I nodded against him, inhaling his scent and how he felt against me. His arms circled around my waist and we stayed like that until I felt him try to walk. I untangled myself from him and he gently helped me stand. He pulled me against him quickly, and I almost tripped over myself in the process. His nose rubbed against mine gently as he teasingly grazed his lips against mine before going over them again and pressing against them hungrily. My arms looped back around his neck and I felt myself moan as his tongue slipped in my mouth. We could have been there minutes or hours, I'd lost track of time and the only thing I was really aware of was him and us in that moment.

He finally pulled his lips from my own, gulping down air as he rested his forehead against mine. "I love you." I whispered as my lips reached for his again. We kissed in soft short bursts before he pulled back and grabbed my hand in his, leading us outside. I pointed towards the town car where Dennis was waiting outside talking on his cell. He shut it off quickly as we approached and he grinned at the two of us. "Bella... Edward. Good to see you again."

"You too Dennis." His smile grew and he took Edward's bag, tossing it in the trunk as we sank into the back seat. I immediately curled up into his lap and his arms found their way around me as his cheek rested against my hair. "I took the day off. I figured since I'll be at work the next 3 days, I wanted us to at least have one day of just us before you were on your own the rest of the week 9-5."

He pushed his face into my hair, inhaling my scent. "You didn't have to do that. I don't want you to fall behind."

"I won't. I stayed a bit longer last night to make sure everything would be okay today." I replied, kissing the column of his neck. We continued the drive in comfortable silence and he refused to let me out of his grasp as we made our way into the hotel and up to the room. He opened the door with my keycard letting me step through first. I heard his suitcase crash onto the floor and in one quick motion he had me pinned against the closed door and his body. His hand reached up and his fingers brushed over my cheek. "You're mine, you're really only mine..." he replied softly, almost sounding like he was in awe. I smiled and nodded slowly. "I have been since the moment we met." I whispered as he lowered his lips to mine. His lips sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and I let out a whimper. I'd almost started to forget how good he tasted and felt against me... how perfect we fit. We slowly made our way to the bedroom area, stripping away at our clothes in the process. The back of my knees hit against the foot of the bed just as we had gotten down to only underwear.

I pulled back just enough to look up at him. My fingers brushed the stray pieces of hair from his forehead and I smiled. "I'll want you like this, forever. I hope you know that."

He grinned back mischieveously. "All you have to do is say yes." He whispered cryptically, as if I were supposed to know the question.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Say yes? To what? He hadn't asked anything. It must have just been the lack of sleep he got on the flight. I slid down my underwear before tugging his down as well. I walked around to the side of the bed and crawled under the covers; it wasn't even a minute before I felt him curl up behind me, kissing my shoulder and pulling me tightly against him. I sighed against his back and turn around to face him. "I'm so glad you're here." I admitted into his shoulder. His lips pressed into the top of my head and his grip grew tighter around me. "Me too. I love you Bella."

"Mmm, I love you too." I murmured into his skin before falling into a restful sleep.

I woke up to Edward's lips warm against my stomach. "Mmm.. Edward." I moaned groggily as his mouth dipped lower and his tongue ran down my slit. I gasped at the contact and instinctively arched my hips, pushing down onto his mouth. He chuckled against me and the vibrations made me moan again. His tongue slid inside me and he began sucking on my folds. "Shit... Edward.... ungggggghhhh." I mewed as my hand reached down, fisting his hair. His mouth made it's way back up my dripping core and he roughly pushed two fingers inside me as his mouth wrapped around my throbbing clit. "Bella, I want to taste you as you cum. Can you do that baby? Can you cum for me?" He hummed before returning his lips to my bundle of nerves, lightly nipping at it with his teeth. My hips began moving in time with his fingers and he pushed into me harder, curling his fingers. "EDWARD! EDWARD FUCCCK!!" I groaned as I felt my walls close around his long digits and I came around his hand. My heart was pounding as I came down from my orgasm.

And then I felt him thrust inside me with his cock. I screamed out his name and he swallowed my moan with his lips as he rocked in and out of me. "I needed to be in you baby. You don't know how fucking sexy you are when you cum for me." He whispered against my lips as if apologizing for fucking me. my hands slid down to his ass pushing further in me as I bent my knees higher. "Fuck you're so wet..." He panted as his lips moved down to my neck, sucking at the juncture of where my neck and shoulder met. "Baby can you cum for me? I love feeling you spill deep inside me." I moaned into his ear as he picked up the pace. He groaned and began thrusting harder His hand slid down to my hips lifting them up.

And fuck, he was hitting my sweet spot again. I moaned loudly as he hit it over and over again. "SHIT EDWARD FUCKKKK!" I screamed as I exploded around him unexpectedly. "UNGH GOD BELLA! YOU'RE SO TIGHT!" He groaned, biting my shoulder as I felt him thrust into once more before slamming into me roughly and cumming as my pussy milked his dick.

We laid there for a few moments, catching our breaths and smiling dopey grins at one another before he rolled over and tried to pull me close to him. I wiggled away and his face fell as I climbed out of bed. "Water." I replied pointing towards the mini fridge. I padded across the room, grabbing a bottled water and drinking nearly half of it before walking back to bed and handing it to him. He chugged the rest of it down as I curled back against him.

"So, I have something to tell you." I replied as I entwined my legs around his.

"Hm?" He murmured nuzzling his nose into my hair.

I took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Chanel offered me the job - here."

"Are you taking it?"

"I told them I didn't know yet. I wanted to talk it over with you to make the final decision."

"you wanted to... _talk to me?"_ He asked, as if my statement were completely ludacris.

I turned my head looking up at him. "Um... yes? I didn't want to make the decision without you since it has to do with both of us."

He smiled, leaning down to kiss me quickly. "I'm so happy to hear that."

"Why? Did you think I would make a decision like that without you?" I asked, laughing a little at how ridiculous that sounded.

He shrugged noncommitally. "Kind of, I guess. I mean, Bella you have to remember that I was with someone who basically shut me out of her life for seven years." He beamed, resting his chin against my shoulder. "But now I have you, and it's something new to get used to. And I love it."

I smiled, kissing his lips quickly. "So, thoughts?"

"Is it a better job?"

"Eh, it's more or less the same job. Just a promotion... a pretty big one. And a significant raise."

"Do you want it?" He asked, his eyes searching mine.

I bit my lip and nodded, looking down at his chest. "Yeah." I sighed and looked up at him. "But if you don't want to leave Seattle it's no big deal. I can just stay where I am."

"No. If you want this, and it'll make you happy then we'll do it." He stated decidedly.

My eyes flickered back up to his and I tried to hide the wide smile that was busting out from where I'd been biting my lip. "Really?"

He rolled his eyes, smirking. "Yeah, and for god sakes your face is going to break if you keep holding that smile back." He replied, as his hands reached up, cupping my cheeks. "And I need that face."

I laughed, releasing my teeth from my bottom lip and beaming at him. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped either and I felt my cheeks turn pink. I pressed my lips against his with purpose, pulling away and rubbing my nose against his. "I'm so lucky to have you."

He pulled me closer and pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'm the lucky one Bella." He murmured.

A few hours later we were going out for a late lunch/early dinner at an italian restaurant around the corner we'd spotted the last time we were in the city. We'd decided to go out as a celebration dinner both in celebration of my new position as well as finally... _finally _being able to really be together. Edward reached for my hand after we had ordered our drinks and looked at me adoringly. I smiled and flipped his hand over, tracing my fingertips along his palm.

"So I know you told me it went fine, but how was the Vanity Fair shoot?"

He nodded taking a sip of water and putting his glass down before replying. "Fine. She sat there and I clicked the button. Not much to tell. What about you? Who'd you kill this week?" He smirked, chuckling a little as his hand squeezed mine.

Following his response pattern, I shrugged and took a sip of my water. "We're boycotting Macy's. Spread it around; actually no need, I've already texted Alice with the message." I replied laughing a little.

"Okay." He laughed, nodding in agreement.

We continued talking about the most random and mundane things, but it was never boring and conversation didn't lull once. Edward paid the bill, despite my adamant protest to let us split it and led me out by the hand into the warm city air. It was nearing sunset as we made our way through the city wandering around aimlessly. Edward kept fidgeting and running his hand through his hair as he tugged my arm and led me across the street to where we had stumbled on the entrance to Central Park. "Hey are you okay?" I asked as I watched him tug at his hair for the hundredth time in just over an hour.

"See that rock over there?" He asked pointly stiffyly towards a big slab of stone in the distance. "I wanna go look at it."

I laughed a little and nodded. "Okay..." We walked over towards the big boulder that sat to the side of a huge willow tree that dangled it's leaves like a canopy around itself. "Why are you acting weird? Is everything alright?" I asked as we approached the slab of stone.

"Yup." He said quickly, picking me up effortlessly and sitting me on the center of the stone. "Are you cold?"

"Um... nope." I laughed a little more looking at him like he was completely insane. "Edward it's like 80 degrees out. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yup." He spat out, again quickly. I was really starting to get nervous. He ran a hand through his hair taking a step closer and standing between my legs. "Baby, you'd love me if I were crazy, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, is this what's happening? You're trying to tell me you're going insane?"

"Insanely in love with you, obviously." He replied softly, laughing a little and taking a sharp breath. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous."

I laughed putting my hands over his as they rested on my knees. "Why? It's just me... just us." I replied smiling warmly and squeezing his hands lightly.

He nodded vigorously, smiling up at me. "I know. But this is important, and I want you to be happy. Your happiness is everything to me."

My eyes locked on his and I nodded. "I am happy. You make me immeasurably happy."

"And I want it to be like that forever. Bella, from this moment forward I don't want to know another moment without you."

I laughed a little, still a little wary of his odd mood. "What a relief, me neither."

"Good." He said taking a deep breath. "I got you something, but given your reaction the last time I gave you a gift... well, I'm still a bit nervous."

My mouth opened slightly at the sight of the unmistakable Tiffany blue box. I felt my heart rate triple as I looked at him, my chest heavy. "Edward..."

He shook his head seriously. "Nuh uh, you aren't allowed to say it's too much. Bella, it won't ever be enough; not after everything you've given me. But I want to spend the rest of my life trying to be better for you, and give you everything you'll ever want or need. Baby, I love you. Be my wife?"

He lifted the top of the box and dropped the wrapping onto the ground as he creaked open the smaller velvet box. I lost my breath. I lost my voice I glanced from him to the ring and back. My heart felt like it was going to explode and my eyes were going to start streaming tears.

My head was racing with a million and one thoughts but the loudest was my answer.


	30. Chapter 30

Hi belso! happy sundaying!

Mhm mhm Heyyyy Kella kels!

soooooooo holy crap, two posts in one week! It's like old times!

Lol. def. You remember that one time? We updated three times in one day?? That was cool.

Ohh... should we... perhaps... nooooooooo.... wait, should we?

What??? Tell people that SMeyer owns all??? cause she does!

No, but sure! Way to disclaim... a disclaimer. Or something. God, it's early.

Uhh... it's almost 1 :P

Not for people rockin it on the wesssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide

Lol nice, Kels :P

Yea, but not as nice as getting reviews, right? right? right?... right?

Right right... and I think folks should get another teaser for the next chappo. Thoughts?

I think we should just like... post again today if we get say... 35 reviews by today collectively?

*nods* I think we can do that :)

Sounds good. ready to unviel the greatness?

*whips off cover* TA DA! :D

* * *

**EPOV**

So I'm standing in the middle of Central Park, in between Bella's legs and holding my breath as she _doesn't_ respond to me. I wanted to back pedal. Take it away, and replace everything I'd just said. Bella had tears in her eyes, and she wasn't saying anything. Nothing. Not even incomprehensible mumbling. Nothing. I started to get nervous. This was a no. She didn't want this. She'd just broken up with her boyfriend, and we hadn't even been together for 24 hours. God, what a fucking ass hole I was. I took a small step back and turned the box back toward me to look at the ring. "It's okay... you can say no..." I mumbled as my heart broke.

I heard her take a deep breath as I fidgeted. "and what if I want to.. say yes?"

My eyes snapped back up to hers, "Yes?"

She nodded slowly, a huge smile on her face and tears streaming from her eyes. "Yes Edward."

I did a double take, "Wait... you said yes?" I was so fucking giddy it was ridiculous.

She laughed a little and nodded again, "I did. I always will, to you."

You couldn't pry the smile from my lips. It was permanent. I pulled her down and smashed her lips to mine. She was mine... fucking mine. No one else would ever kiss these lips or hold her. Just Bella and I, forever. I pulled away slowly, resting my forehead to hers. "You have no idea how happy you just made me, love.'

"It pales in comparison to how happy you continuously make me."

I shook my head as I pressed my lips to her forehead. "Bella you saved me. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay."

"You say that, but do you ever think that you may have saved me too? Because you did." She glanced down at the box in my hand. "Are you going to make it official?" She grinned.

I grinned back at her, "I thought it was." I pulled the ring from the box and held her hand as I slid it onto her finger. "Do you like it?" I asked, hesitating slightly.

She looked down at her hand then reached out to cup my jaw. "I love it; it's perfect baby." She leaned into kiss me, and I swear I never wanted her more.

I kissed her with everything I had and swept her up into my arms. I needed her, and she was mine. This was everything I could ever ask for. Nothing would stop us now. I pulled away after a second, and wrapped her in my arms as we started to head back. "Alice wanted me to tell you that we aren't allowed to elope. But I think it's a wonderful idea."

"Maybe we could and just not tell anyone? I'm sure Alice wants to plan a wedding." She said with a light laugh.

"No. When we do it, everybody's going to know. You've been hidden for too long." I kissed her temple gently.

She sighed, "Okay. But first you have to meet my family and I have to officially meet your mom."

My blood went cold at the thought of meeting her parents. "Your family, huh?"

"Mhm. They're going to love you."

I nodded, taking in a deep breath. "I hope so."

Bella smiled up at me. "They will." She told me before standing up on her toes to press her lips to mine. "We should get married in New York. It seems like the best parts of our relationship have been spent here."

I laughed, leaning into her and kissing her shoulder. "We could do it this weekend. Well, if you want. I have no objection to going home as a married man."

"And I have no qualms going back to Seattle as Mrs. Cullen" Bella murmured in my ear before her lips pressed gently to my temple.

"Okay then," I said, pulling away and looking around. "Where the fuck is city hall?"

She laughed, tugging on my hand. "Edward it's Wednesday night and dark out. I highly doubt city hall is open right now."

I smirked at her, tickling her sides a little. "Well, I'll just have to wait until tomorrow then."

She smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth. "You make the appointment for lunchtime. I'll meet you there."

Fuck, I completely forgot about work. "Baby... I don't think I can marry you on your lunch break."

Bella laughed, "Why not?"

I kissed her again. Her lips were just too fucking perfect. "For one, that gives me no time to fuck you after and for another, I want to be able to... enjoy getting married to you. I want it to be something. Not I do, you do, kiss, see you at five. Love you." I sighed, looking back down at her. "You know?"

"Mhm." She nuzzled her face into the side of my neck and sighed against me. "We should wait then. Do it right since this is the only time we're going to go through this."

I held her close to my chest, rocking us slightly. "I'm so glad you're mine, Bella. You have no idea how happy that makes me."

Bella hummed against me, but didn't pull away. "Baby, we should get back. I want to see if you feel different inside me since you're my fiance now." I could feel her lips curl up into a smile as she spoke.

I laughed, then pulled away from her, tugging her toward the sidewalk. "It does. The equipment gets an upgrade."

I swear, you'd think I just told her that she could do whatever she wanted for the rest of her life without consequences, her smile was so big. "Ohhhh nice! I can't wait to take a ride." Then she winked at me.

I pulled her into my side, and we started walking toward the hotel. "You will, Baby. You will."

We crashed back into the hotel room, ripping clothes and buttons along the way. My lips were basically attached to her as I pushed her up against the wall, letting my lips blaze a trail down her neck and over the swell of her breasts. I fucking loved those things. Bella spread her legs wider, effectively pushing up her skirt and wrapping her legs around me. "Fuck, Baby..." I whispered, pulling down the cups of her bra and attaching my mouth to one of her nipples. She groaned and arched into me as her hips started grinding against mine. I felt my hard on start to get painful with each thrust she made. That shit was hot. I moaned against her skin as my free hand began to roam down her body and unzipped her skirt. I pulled her away from the wall as my lips found their way back to hers, and the skirt dropped, leaving her almost naked. I pulled away, and Bella panted. 'You... you're.. too much."

I grinned and tugged my undershirt over my head, as she attacked my pants and boxers thrusting them to the ground. She eyed my cock, and I just raised an eyebrow. Bella nodded, wrapping one hand around my length and pulling my face to hers. "This... this is what I need."

I smirked against her lips and ripped her underwear from her body, not wanting to waste anytime. She started to protest, but I pushed two fingers into her making her scream. "FUCK." She wailed, he legs giving out ever so slightly. I let the two of us sink to the floor, withdrawing my hand on the way. Bella rolled on the condom from her bag, then lowered herself slowly onto my cock. She kept her eyes on me the entire time. I have never been a part of something so erotic in my entire life. To watch her face twist and contort as I filled her was really an awesome experience. I could literally see the pleasure in her eyes. I wanted her to look like that all the time. Bella adjusted to me quickly and began moving up and down on my shaft. I reached around her to discard her bra, then kissed over her tits again. She put her hands on my chest and pushed me back, giving me an incredible view of my cock sliding in and out of her. "Fuck baby... you have no idea how fucking hot you look while you ride my cock." She whimpered a little and I felt her walls start to twitch. "God, Bella, you're so incredible. The way your pussy squeezes me... the way you fucking milk my cock as you cum. Baby, do you think you could cum for me?" I let my hand move to her clit, where I started rubbing frantic circles. "Come on, Baby, do it for me. Come all over my cock. Do it, Baby."

Bella's head tossed back and I thrust my hips up into her. "SHIT FUCKEDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled as her pussy clamped down on me and she came. I thrust up into her roughly one more time, and gripped her hips tightly when I shot my load into the condom. I slid slowly in and out of her, letting her come down, until she rolled off of me. I took off the condom and tucked it into the wrapper to dispose of later. I turned over and pulled Bella into my arms. "Baby, I'm so glad you said yes."

**BPOV**I laughed a little, snuggling into his side. "Did you think I wouldn't?"

His fingers traced light lines up and down my back as he pressed his cheek into my hair. "For a minute. When you hesitated."

"I didn't hesitate. I physically _couldn't _speak." My lips pressed into his chest delicately. "I wasn't... I didn't think... I was surprised you meant it when you said you wanted me as your wife."

"Why wouldn't I mean it?"

"Maybe it's not that I didn't think you didn't mean it, but that you didn't want that just yet. Like the baby, something we'd want eventually but not this instant."

His voice dropped and his forehead creased as he spoke. "I never said I didn't want the baby. I wanted it then, and I want one with you. It never mattered to me when it happened. Same thing with this. I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, Bella. Why wait if I don't have to?"

"Point." I replied, looking up at him and grinning as my lips pressed against his. I felt him smile under the kiss as I slowly pulled away. "We should probably call Alice. I bet she's frantically staring at her phone waiting to hear." I teased, wrapping my arms lazily around his neck and doing nothing to indicate I was ready to leave our current position.

"Meh." He grinned, leaning in to push his lips to mine purposefully. "She can wait."

I smiled, lowering my lips against his and sucking lightly on his bottom lip, letting myself revel in his taste. His mouth gently tugged on my upper lip and his hand slid to cup my cheek. There would never be anything that tasted as good as my Edward.

"Fuck..." he breathed, pulling his lips from mine slowly. "My dick is already trying to get hard." I chuckled against his neck and rubbed my hand up and down his chest down to his hips and back. "Maybe we should wait and call everyone this weekend. Tonight I kinda want to enjoy my fiance." I murmured into his shoulder. He hummed in agreement and lifted us slowly and we made our way to the bed.

I was the luckiest girl in the history of females because I got Edward, like this... forever. And for some silly reason, he wanted me just as much.

We spent the rest of the evening making love lazily, watching bad BRAVO reality shows in between sessions. As we settled in bed for the night, Edward's arms pulled me tightly against his side.

"Can we start planning the wedding this weekend, while we're here?"

He smiled wider than a child on Christmas morning."You really wanna?"

I nodded a little, burying my face in his shoulder. "Mhm. I can't wait to marry you."

"Okay, love. Whatever you want." He sighed, pulling me impossibly closer against him.

My head turned upward and I looked at him. "Is that really okay with you or did you want to wait before we got married? I don't want to rush this anymore than we already have if you'd rather wait."

He glanced at me sideways, laughing a little. "Wait for what?"

"I don't know, to make sure this is what you want? I mean, you were engaged to Tanya for a couple years... maybe you prefer longer engagements? I don't know."

"Bella, I prefer you." He sighed. "We can go tomorrow, if you want. Just... promise me it'll happen. I wouldn't have proposed if I didn't want it to happen." He said, looking away and pouting like a little child.

I edged closer to him, nibbling on his neck. "Good, because I want it too. The sooner I get to declare in front of any and all that will listen that you're mine for an eternity, the better."

"I love you, Bella. I want to be with you forever. I used to think that getting married was just... a step you were supposed to take. But now that I'm doing it with you, I can see that that's not it at all. It's making everyone know that you're mine. And I'm yours." He murmured into my hair as he rested his cheek on the top of my head.

"Good, because I won't settle for being yours for any time frame shorter than forever." I whispered, snuggling even closer to him. He gripped my body, pulling me even closer to him and I threw my leg over his waist. He sighed against me, and I fell asleep as his hand traced lazy patterns up and down my arm.

The next morning I left for work early to go over e-mails and latest bureaucratic bullshit that seemed never ending. By 9am I had reviewed all the urgent e-mails, responded to half of them and was pouring my second cup of coffee. I was working on the latest numbers to run up to Anthony to go over before our second round of meetings, when Francois sent me an e-mail telling me to meet him in his office with the updated report. I grabbed the papers and stapled them, dashing down the hall.

"Here you go." I said flopping the report onto his desk and beaming. "They're screwed. They won't have a chance to back out once they see these numbers and the amount they'll be out if they back out now." I replied smugly. Sometimes, it felt kinda good to be a bad guy. Francois looked from the report to me.

"Wonderful. Now when were you going to talk to me about the rock giving your hand carpal tunnel?" He replied grabbing the report and fanning himself with it as he leaned back in his chair. I blushed and couldn't contain the smile that spread over my face. "So, I take it prince charming's arrival went well then?" He chuckled, motioning for me to take a seat. I sat down, scooting my chair closer to his desk and nodding. "So, tell me!" He said, sounding exasperated. "When? Where? How?"

I relayed the details to him over the next twenty minutes, periodically getting a squeal of a response. "Well!" He said decidedly, slamming his hand down onto his desk. "That's settled, Nate and I are taking you to kids out to celebrate."

"Oh," I replied smirking. "There's one more thing."

"Oh?" He asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"I spoke to Edward and... we're moving to New York." I started, trying to keep a straight face.

"OH MY GOD!" He exclaimed, jumping up and racing around his desk, enveloping me in a hug. "This means... wait." He said, calming down quickly and looking at me with furrowed brows. "This means your coming on board with us right?" He asked seriously.

I laughed and nodded, feeling his arms wrap around me again. "Then we are DEFINITELY going out tonight to celebrate!" I laughed and shrugged. "Let me check with Edward, and I'll let you know this afternoon? I don't know if he wants it to just be us tonight or what have you... we still haven't told our families and friends."

"I'm the first to know?" He asked, bemused. I nodded, standing up. "Yep."

"Well, I am honored." He replied exaggeratedly, bowing. I laughed, rolling my eyes. "You better be."

He grinned, turning back towards his desk as I walked towards his door. "Don't forget to read the report before the meeting!" I reminded. "And don't forget to ask the future Mr. Swan about dinner! 7pm!"

The first round of meetings went as well as I'd hoped and they seemed to be shitting their pants in fear of the money they'd unnecessarily lose. For some reason they couldn't figure out that it would benefit everyone if they would just shut up and agree to what they'd already agreed to.

A little after 1, we adjourned for an hour for lunch and I raced to my desk to call Edward's cell.

"Hello?"

"Hi fiance." I announced happily into the receiver.

He chuckled into the receiver. "Hey, Baby. How's your day going?"

"Super fantastic. Yours?"

"Lazy. What's up?"

"Do we have dinner plans? My boss and his boyfriend want to take us out."

"Are you sure I'm invited?" He asked skeptically.

I laughed. "Yes. In fact he specifically requested your presence and reminded me a few times to call you to verify we were free and you were available."

"Okay, love. Are you sure I won't be in the way?"

"In the way of what?"

"I dunno... your stuff?" He sighed, sounding unsure of his welcome.

I laughed a little. "Edward, you're never, nor could you ever be in the way. Plus, tonight's dinner is to celebrate our engagement. I'm pretty sure Francois may be just as excited as we are." I chided.

He laughed, and I could hear the grin on his lips as he spoke. "I love you, Bella. Are you coming back here, or should I meet you?"

"Dinner's not til 7, and since I came in so early I should be back at the hotel by 4:30ish. What're you up to today?"

"Umm, TV? Why was there something you needed me to do?"

I let out a puff of laughter, shaking my head. "Nope, just curious." The conversation lulled as I heard the TV in the background and I scanned my e-mails quickly. "Hey, I'm going to get back but I'll see you in a few hours okay?"

"Mhm. Love you."

"Love you too." I replied, before hanging up the phone.

The rest of the afternoon took forever to get through and it was already half past 4 by the time wrapped up the meeting for the day and planned to meet again on Monday for a final meeting. "So did you talk to Mr. Man?" Francois asked as we turned off the projector and cleaned up the conference room after everyone had filed out. "Mhm. We'll see you and Nate at 7. I gotta say, I'm looking forward to seeing him again." His head shot up and he grinned. "He_ is_ sex on ice. But_ I'm _looking forward to getting to know that hunk of man you're marrying."

I laughed as we walked out of the room, shaking my head. "You realize he does have a name, not just the chauvenistic terms of endearment you constantly refer to him as." He waved me off dismissively. "Of course, of course. Edward, right?" I nodded, smiling at his acknowledgement. "Yes, yes I know. And I will call him by his name if I _must_." He replied dramatically, as we stopped at my workstation and I began collecting my things. "You must." I replied with a smile as I threw my purse over my shoulder. "Text me later with the location and we'll make sure we're there at 7." I stated as I started walking towards the elevators. He nodded and gave a curt wave as I spun around and headed home.

"Baby?" I asked, as I opened the door of the suite and peered inside. I heard the shower running and grinned, closing the door behind me and kicking off my heels. I undressed as I made my way to the bathroom and opened the door. I slid open the glass door and peered inside as he spun around.

"Jesus, you scared me." He breathed, chuckling softly. I smirked giving him the twice over. "Mind if I join?"

"C'mon, then. You're making me cold." He replied with a teasing grin. I stepped inside and felt his arms wrap around me immediately. I stepped under the spray, looping my arms around his neck and kissing him softly. I sighed against his mouth, relaxing immediately. His presence, his touch, was a consistent reminder of how much I would always need him. I pulled my lips back slowly, taking a breath. "How was your day?"

"Long and boring without you. Yours?"

"Pretty good, but I missed you like crazy." I admitted, pressing my lips against his softly. We continued to kiss and roam our hands around each others bodies until the water started running lukewarm and we did a mad dash to actually wash up, laughing a bit in the process.

We wrapped ourselves up towels before I jumped on him, kissing him passionately. He groaned against me, reaching for a condom in the pack that was on the sink counter. We made our way out of the bathroom, and he pushed me against the hallway wall. He moved one hand from around my waist to his hips, letting the towel drop. His lips moved from mine across my cheek and down my neck. I lolled my head back, shutting my eyes when I heard him tear the condom wrapper open. Seconds later I moaned loudly, as I felt him shove himself into me. "God you feel so good baby." He grunted against my neck as he gripped my ass and pumped himself into me hard and fast. I whimpered and scratched at his shoulder and the nape of his neck as he moved in and out roughly. It wasn't long before I felt the familiar tightening and his name tumbled from my lips as he bit and sucked on my neck, groaning as I clenched around his cock. His mouth moved over mine and he crushed his lips against mine, panting through his nose as he thrust a few more times before ramming me onto his cock so hard I came undone a second time and he met my own orgasm with one of his own. "Fuck..." he panted as he lowered his head to my shoulder. I laughed softly into his hair and nodded, trying to catch my breath. We waited until our breaths were stead before I unwound my legs from his body and we moved into the living room to get dressed.

"You ready?" I asked as I stepped out of the bedroom and walked over towards where he was sitting on the sofa, channel surfing. It took everything I had not to jump him then and there as he sat, relaxed in his black slacks and dark gray button down. His eyes shifted over to me and I saw him give me the twice over. He stood up quickly shutting off the TV and moving towards me. "I don't know how you expect me to keep my hands off you with you in that tight black skirt." He murmued into my ear as his arms wrapped around me. I giggled quietly and shrugged, pulling away to grab his hand and move towards the door. It was the same black pencil skirt I'd worn hundreds of times with a very plain navy v-neck sweater.

To my surprise, Dennis was waiting downstairs for us. "Dennis?" I asked surprised to see him. "Evening Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen." He replied, with a nod. "Mr. De Mandeville informed me of your news. Congratulations to you both." He replied with a genuine smile. I blushed and leaned against Edward as his arm slid around my waist, flushing me against him. "Thank you Dennis." I replied, beaming. I felt Edward's lips press firmly into my hair as we walked towards the car. I didn't know if it was possible to be as happy as we were in the car ride over, but I knew without a doubt that I had never been this happy in my entire life and I hoped this feeling never went away.


	31. Chapter 31

So... I dunno, Kels. Should we give it to them?

Teeheee... _give it to them_ teeheehee...

Ohhhh, Kella kels... you would go there :P But hey we have some house keeping, yes?

_house keeping_... tee- wait that shit doesn't work does it?

No, not at all :P You wanna tell them about the auction or shall I?

you please. cuz otherwise I'll make some comment about _what _exactly is being auctioned... and that's just inappropriate cuz it's for a good cause.

Tots... so I'm sure most of you have heard of the new thing going on in the fandom called (appropriately) The Fandom Gives Back, and they're raising money for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation. Anddddd, Kels and I have put ourselves up for bid :P

Yea, cuz we're hoes.

Kels! Focus! Details can be found here: http://www (dot) thefandomgivesback (dot) com/ . We're auctioning a oneshot wedding night redo... obvi, our fruit basket will be in full effect :P

I told you I shouldn't be allowed to speak. But yes, despite the good deeds being done no one in fanfic land, no, not even us, owns these characters. They still belong to SMeyer.

Exactly... and a quick HOLA! to LMW... cause she's awesome and she writes fantabulous fic :)

Oh and to rachelcullen77, cuz she may be my new fave reviewer ever. So hi!!!!!!!!! :D

Should we let them read, then? I'm ready if you are :)

Sounds like un-plan. Read on!

* * *

**EPOV**

The car flew through the streets but I kept Bella firmly at my side the entire time. I only let her go once we arrived at the restaurant and Dennis came around to open the door. We said our thank you's and he drove off, leaving us on the curb. I grabbed her had and pressed it to my lips. "I love you."

She grinned back at me, "I love you." She squeezed my hand affectionately. "Ready?"

I sighed, nodding. "I hope so."

Bella laughed a little and pulled me toward the restaurant. We had barely made it into the foyer when I heard someone calling Bella. "Bella?! Is that my Isabella?"

The arm I had wrapped around her waist tightened involuntarily.

"Francois!" She called, smiling. I couldn't help but get jealous of this obviously gay man calling her his Bella. She was mine. I hung back as they greeted each other, not knowing quite what I was supposed to do.

Bella turned to me, a huge grin on her face. "Francois, this is Edward my fiance. Edward, this is my boss Francois."

I smiled politely and leaned in to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you. Bella's told me so much about you."

"Trust, Bella has told me _far _more about you." He said with a wink. "She's radiant all the time - it's one of the reasons we love her, but she just _glows _when you come to visit."

I smiled, looking down at Bella. "Well, she seems to always glow for me. It must be her natural charm."

Bella blushed. "Okay... so enough about me. Where's the boy toy?"

Francois waved his hand at the hair as though it smelled. "Oh, the fool had to work late. Some nonesense about the failing economy." He replied with a grin. Bella and I sat side by side across from her boss, and I felt like I was going to pass out from nervousness. I could screw this up so badly. "Speaking of jobs, Edward, Bella tells me you've agreed to move to New York."

"Yeah, soon. We have to figure out the specifics, but I think it'll be good for us in the long run." My hand started to rub careful circles onto Bella's thigh as I spoke.

"I agree. Bella does wonders for New York. And you, well you're just fun to look at."

"Francois!"

"What? If I can't call him one of our little nicknames, you can't expect me to not pay him ONE compliment to his looks."

I laughed nervously, looking down at my lap. She talked about me? She honestly talked about me to people she worked with? The whole thing was blowing my mind.

I felt Bella's hand curl around mine under the table. "Actually, I can and I did." She sighed, "But regardless."

"Yes, regardless. So, Edward... Bella continues to sing your praises as a photographer. You just recently had a shoot with Vanity Fair I hear?"

"Uh, yeah. Back in Seattle. It was for a story they did on the inventor of the coffee cozy. It was a lot of fun."

Francois took a sip of his wine and leaned back in his chair. "It's important to not only enjoy but be a genius at what you love to do. Bella says you fit that criteria as a photographer." He said with a grin.

I took a deep breath, raising my eyebrows. "Well, I'm not sure how good I am, but I haven't had to take a real job yet. I must be doing something right." I laughed again, running a hand through my hair.

Bella turned to me with her brow creased. "What are you talking about? You have a real job."

I shrugged, "You know... like a _real job._ With a regular paycheck and I dunno... and office, I guess."

Bella laughed, "Oh, well... I guess. But you're too talented to be cooped up in an office like Francois and I."

Bella gave my hand a gentle squeeze and I raised an eyebrow, "I am?"

She smiled at me as she nodded, "Yeah, of course. I saw you at the shoot that day. You're amazing behind the lens."

I smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Thanks, love."

"Awww! You two need to be nominated for some kind of sweet-cute-sexy-couple award. Because really... too cute."

"Shut up Francois." Bella requested, as she rolled her eyes.

"What?" He asked, feigning innocence. "You two are. I'm just glad you decided to get married here. I think it's so romantic. And Edward, you surprising her with the flight last trip? Miss Shy Swan over here didn't shut up about it the rest of her trip. You really swept her off her feet from the get go, huh?"

I laughed, running my finger tips over Bella's shoulders. "Unintentionally, I assure you. And it wasn't so much a surprise as... a necessity."

"A necessity? How so?"

Um, none of your fucking business. No, Bella's boss. Be nice. "Well, when you love someone, you do whatever they need. She needed me, so I was there."

Bella took a deep breath, "Can we either order or call it a night soon? Francois, I know you're enjoying this interrogation and embarrassment hour, but really... can you cease and desist?" She gave him a pointed look that I had never seen before. Honestly, I was glad about that.

"Fine, fine." He said, shooing us. "Scurry along. We can do dinner some other time when it can be the four of us. I won't hold you up."

Bella paused, "Oh, one thing then. I wanted to maybe, take a day this weekend to look at real estate in the area. And I know this is completely inappropriate to do, but would you happen to know the new position it's.. um..."

"Salary?" He asked with a grin. Bella nodded shyly as he pulled out a pen and wrote something on a napkin and passed it to her.

Bella's eyes went wide as she looked at whatever the fuck it was. "This is... starting?"

Francois nodded, "Though I'm sure you could negotiated at least 15-20k more based on your track record, especially after this Macy's business blows over."

Bella looked at me, still wide eyed then back to her boss. "Francois this is over _double _what I make now."

Francois stood, putting his napkin down on the table. "Yes, but you're in New York now. Trust me that will get you only marginally further than your current salary in Seattle." He paused and tapped the table with one finger. "Well I'm going to go and surprise Nathan at work. You two have a lovely evening. Edward, a pleasure to see you again and congratulations."

I had no idea what just happened, but I shook his hand anyway. This was really happening, and not gonna lie I was beginning to feel a little bit homesick.

Bella turned to look at me, worry etched in her features. "Was that terrible?"

I shook my head, still in a daze. "No. Not bad at all."

Her hand came up to cup my jaw as she searched my face. "You sure? You look like you almost got hit by a car." She paused, gathering more data. "Is it the move? You give me the word and I'll retract the acceptance with Chanel tomorrow and we can focus on Seattle and going home and building our life there."

I couldn't do that to her; I couldn't let her give up her dream. She'd hate me for it in the end. "No, love. I'm fine. Do you want to eat, or should I take you home?"

She kept her eyes trained on me, but I couldn't let her know. "Why don't we pick up some take out and head home. Is that okay?"

I smiled softly at her, then leaned in to kiss her forehead. "That's more than okay, love."

A little while later, we had changed and were parked on the couch, watching really bad reality TV. "So is this what being married is going to be like?" I asked, looking at Bella out of the corner of my eye.

Bella nodded, picking at her pizza. "Probably, only we'll have HBO." She smirked.

I laughed, "You think?" My heart got sore when I realized I hardly knew anything about her new job. "What are you going to be doing out here?"

"Hm?" She turned to look at me before it clicked. "Oh, pretty much exactly what I do now... only exclusively with Chanel and managing a handful of people."

I played with the crust on my plate, "You won't be... gone very often, then?"

She smiled as she ripped off a piece of my crust and started munching on it. "Not at all, hopefully. And if I am it'll be sparingly, and with plenty of notice so we could plan vacations around them if we wanted."

I nodded, still focused on my plate. I shook my head trying to snap myself out of it. Bella wasn't Tanya; Bella didn't love me like that. "I'm so happy for you, love."

She furrowed her brow, then pulled my plate from me and crawled into my lap, taking my face in her hands. "Hey, you okay? I mean, really. Because if this... any of it, isn't what you want, tell me."

I pulled her into my lap, putting my cheek on her shoulder and looking at the wall. "I want you to be happy," I whispered, "Are you happy?"

"Only if I'm with you and you are." She pulled back to look at me. "Seriously Edward, this job... I can take it or leave it. All I want is you, I don't care if I'm working in New York, or Seattle or Timbuktu... as long as you're there with me, happy."

I pushed my lips to hers. Was I happy? I was happy that she was going to be my wife, and that I would be spending the rest of my life with her. But I wasn't so thrilled about moving across the country and leaving behind everything I've known and loved. The former out weighed the latter, though. "I know, Love."

She sighed against me. "And you promise to tell me if you're ever unhappy? Because I don't want us to... not be able to talk. About anything."

_But I can't hurt you._ "I promise."

She sighed, her eyes once again searching mine "Okay." She said as her teeth took hold of her lip. "But, how about we scrap my idea of looking at places here for awhile. That seemed to freak you out earlier."

I couldn't let this get to me. She wanted this. Bella deserved to be happy. "No, we can. Where did you want to look?" I thought of my studio in Seattle, and of leaving it for good, as I knew I'd have to. I thought of my mother and Max and the new baby... Could I really leave them all behind? Could I miss milestones and birthdays and random lunches?

She laughed a little. "I'm not even sure. But Edward, I wasn't kidding when I said you looked like you almost got hit by a car after my discussion with Francois. This is... _a lot_. I get that; it is for me too." She pushed her hand through my hair, "Hell _I'm _not even sure I want to move 3000 miles away from my dad and brother." She shook her head, then slid off of my lap and stood. "Maybe I'm just projecting that you're feeling weird about it, because I don't want to be the only one freaking out over this." She took a deep breath, then looked at me. "See - this? This neurotic one right here?"She pointed to herself. "This is who you're marrying."

I took a deep breath and pulled her back into me, "No. You were right, I am freaking out. But you seemed to want this, and I didn't want to discourage you. I don't want you to give up the things you're excited about because of me. Bella you shouldn't change your life because I happened."

Her arms wrapped tightly around me, and she pushed her face into my neck, panting heavily. "When are you going to realize it? Edward, you _did _change my life. You made me want forever with someone, a home, a life, a family of our own. I hadn't ever really thought about those things beyond a superficial layer of 'yeah someday'. Edward you... you make me want all of those things in the tangible future. And there will always be things I'm excited about, and taking one of those opportunities doesn't mean it's the best decision for us. And that's what this is now..." She pulled away to look up at me. "We're an us. And if something doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work for me."

I sighed, kissing her shoulder. "I can't ask you _not_ to do something just because I'm apprehensive. That's not fair to you."

"You can; doesn't mean we won't fight about it until one of us caves. But I always want to know how you feel about things, even if we disagree. But for big things like moving across the country, I want to know. Because it's not just my life that's changing; it's yours too. And you don't need to follow me to New York if it's not what you want, but I want to know if it's not what you want."

I felt myself start to hyperventilate at the thought of being away from her. "Bella, we can't do that. I can't... I can't be away from you. If you come out here, then I will too."

She leaned in to kiss me softly. "I didn't mean we'd be apart." She laughed, running her thumb over my bottom lip. "We tried that once, and neither one of us could take it; so what makes you think I'd consider it again?" (rubs her nose against his) "I just meant, if you don't want to be out here, you need to tell me and we'll figure it out. If it means that I don't take this job then so be it. At the end of the day all that matters to me is being with you and making you happy. If us staying in Seattle makes you happier than the idea of us moving here does, then we'll stay in Seattle."

"But it has to be what you want, Love. That's a lot of money they're offering. If you want that and you want this job, then you should have it. I told you... I can do what I do anywhere. It... it doesn't matter to me."

"Money can be made wherever, that doesn't matter half as much as you do to me. I want the job sure, but I'm sure if I let my current boss know about their offer he'd be more likely to counter. But it doesn't matter. Do you want to move here Edward, if my feelings... if none of it mattered. Would you want to?"

I shook my head sighing against her skin. "But you do matter. What you want makes a difference to me. That's what I'd make my decision around."

"Edward, listen to me. What I want, the only thing I want, is you. I want to marry you and have a family with you and spend the rest of my life being with you. That's all, everything else is secondary."

I sat up, looking her in the eye. "You're telling me that if you walked away from this right now, you wouldn't think twice?"

She nodded, giving me a small smile. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

I tried to tell if she was lying, but I couldn't. "Not even if it meant giving up Dennis and whatshisface and fancy dinners and shopping and cool apartments and--"

She put her finger to my lips. "I don't need any of it... I would drop it in a nanosecond for our future."

I kissed her finger tip as she pulled it away. "We have a future regardless."

"Edward, I don't need New York. New York won't ever make me happy the way you do. New York and everything in it, the restaurants, the job, the salary... it doesn't matter to me. All that matters is that you're with me and happy."

I pulled away, leaning back against the sofa. "I just don't want to push you into something you don't want only to make me happy."

Bella sighed and buried her face in my neck. "I love you. I will love you no matter if we're in Seattle or New York. I will be happy with you whether we're in Seattle or New York. You're not pushing me to do anything I don't want to do. I'm really okay with either decision."

I leaned my cheek to her head as I whispered, "I wanna go home." And I felt terrible for it.

She nodded, and smile up at me. "Then that's what we'll do. We'll go back to Seattle and plan our wedding and Alice will be so relieved we didn't elope while we were here. And we'll figure out the living situation. And we'll be happy at _home_."

I cupped her face in my hands trying to find any shred of doubt. There was none. "I love you, Baby." I kissed her gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." And she kissed me to prove it.

As long as that was true, that would be all I needed.

**BPOV**We spent the rest of the night laying on the couch, curled up together watching TV. I'm not sure what time I fell asleep in Edward's arms, but when I woke up the sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains and he and I were still tangled in one another. I groaned, rolling away from Edward's body as I stretched. He made a non-committal grunting noise and pulled me back towards him, burying his face in my shoulder. "No."

I laughed quietly. "No what?"

"You're not leaving."

"Baby, I have to go to work."

"No, ten more minutes." He argued like a petulant child. I smirked into his skin, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling my body tightly against his.

Almost two hours later, I was strolling into the office with a Laissez-faire attitude and gracefully sank into my chair. I immediately hunkered down and sped through my workload, breezing past the lunch hour without a second glance, determined to get back to Edward asap.

"Bella?" I heard Francois' thick accent asked as he tapped my shoulder. I spun around grinning. He was beaming himself. "Do you have a moment?" He asked motioning to his office. I nodded and stood, following him as we walked back to the fall corner office.

He shut the door behind me. "You look to be in good spirits." He stated, moving to take his seat. I followed and sat across from him. "I had a great night and morning."

"I bet you did, you minx." He replied with a sly wink. "So it has nothing to do with the news then?"

"News?"

"Macy's has agreed to not only the original contract, but the addendum to it that you were pushing." He replied, leaning back in his chair a victoriously smug grin across his lips. "And I just got off the phone with the European head office and they're incredibly impressed with your negotiation skills. In fact," He continued. "They want to give you a percentage of what Chanel will be saving with your handy dandy little addendum you worked with Anthony to put together."

My breathing stopped and my eyes bugged out ever so slightly. However unnoticeable, it didn't escape Francois and he chuckled. "Francois... I--I can't accept that." He waved his hand and shook his head. "Nonsense, of course you can."

"No, really. I can't." I felt like there was a boulder in my throat and I swallowed hard before getting out what I had to say. "I've decided to remain in Seattle and not take the position."

His brows furrowed. "What?" I nodded. "Edward and I talked about it more and we just... we want to be close to everyone we love and none of them are here."

"I see..." He began, flexing his fingers. "Well," he sighed. "I can't say I'm not disappointed. It's been amazing working with you and I know that the rest of the team will miss you terribly." I nodded and smiled faintly, knowing that despite how much it hurt to turn down the job and the new salary and position, the look on Edward's face after our meeting at the restaurant pained me more. "However," he continued, "that's still no reason why you can't take this bonus."

We continued to talk over the next hour and before I knew it, it was nearly 5pm. "So, the launch has been pushed to spring of next year but Chanel didn't lose any other ground?" I confirmed, sifting through the final paperwork with him. "That's right. We launch in early November for spring and hopefully it's smooth sailing from there." I nodded, biting my lip as I looked over the flast page of the new agreement. "Sounds like a fantastic plan." I replied looking up and smiling at him. "Does that mean my work here is done?" I asked hopefully.

He chuckled. "Is that a professionally skewed way of asking if you can leave this weekend?" I couldn't hide my smile and I shrugged. "Kind of." He stood up and opened his arms. "Sure, but be prepared; you'll still be receiving the invite to the launch in the fall." I wrapped my arms around him in a warm hug and nodded. "Duh, like I'd miss the opportunity to wear Chanel for free." I joked. He laughed against me and we spent the next few minutes talking about random gossip before I packed my stuff up and left.

It was bittersweet leaving. I had never enjoyed my job more and a part of me would always wonder how far I could have taken my career; but I couldn't and wouldn't dwell on that when the most important part of my life was waiting for me at home.

I walked into the hotel suite a little after 6, and shuffled into the mini-apartment. "Edward?" I called, hearing complete silence. I walked through the rooms with no sign of Edward. I shot him a quick text asking where he was and went to change. By the time I had changed into jeans, a t-shirt and gotten out of my heels there was still no response.

Weird.

I grabbed my phone off the bed and walked over to the living room area, plopping down in front of the TV. I'd gotten through half an episode of M*A*S*H when the door swung open and in walked a very sweaty and breathless Edward. "Go for a run?" I asked as he smiled and held up a hand and removed the headphones from his ears with the other. "What?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Nothing, rhetorical question." He gave me a playfully inquisitive look before reaching for a bottled water from the mini fridge. "I wasn't expecting you home til later, since you didn't leave til past 9 this morning." He said as he sank into the cushion beside me. "Yeah, I just hustled through lunch." He nodded, taking a swig of the bottled water. "I don't get how people run in this humidity. I don't think I even did 3 miles and I was dying." He said, laughing under his breath as he threw his head back onto the top of the sofa.

"I didn't even know you ran." I teased, scooting closer and sliding my body over his and straddling him.

He nodded. "I ran track in high school."

I slid my hands under his shirt that was drenched with sweat and slid it up and over his head. He grinned up at me as I tossed the shirt behind him and hovered my lips over his. "Do you think you have any energy left?" I murmured.

He looked up at the ceiling, tapping his chin and pretending to mull it over. "Mmm, I might."

My lips curved up into a sly grin as I lowered my mouth against his. Even hot, sweaty and not the freshest smelling Edward felt amazing. Our mouths moved together perfectly when I suddenly remember the events that transpired at work. "OH!" I said jumping back a little on his legs.

"What? What's wrong?"

I smiled broadly, shaking my head. "Nothing. I just remembered we closed the deal at work today."

"And?" He asked impatiently, squeezing his hands on my hips.

I bit my lip, trying to suppress the smile. "And they caved." I pressed my lips against his quickly. "And they're giving me a... pretty significant bonus for getting the other side to agree to some new terms."

He grinned broadly. "I"m so proud of you, love." He stated leaning in to press his lips to mine securely. "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

I matched his sigh and nodded. "I told Francois I was retracting my decision to stay."

"I'm sorry." He said sadly, looking away.

"For what?"

"For asking to leave. I... I know you wanted this, and I--" He sighed, leaning back into the couch. "I should have done it for you. You would have for me."

I wasn't sure what to say. I would have for him in a heart beat, but I also knew I would have been just as hesitant. "Like I said Edward, you're more important."

He lifted his hand, tracing my cheek with the back of one finger. "Like I said, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, really." I replied, smiling and brushing my lips against his. "Francois took it well."

He sighed, eyeing me carefully. It looked as if he was trying to tell if I was lying or telling the truth. "yeah?"

"Mhm. He even gave me the next week off, since we closed the deal earlier than expected. So we can either stay or try and get on an earlier flight home."

"It doesn't matter, love. Whatever you want." He said, letting out a heavy exhale and furrowing his eyebrows.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel bad. I saw you hesitate just now. I'm asking you to give up something that you wanted."

"Edward it's fine. We went over this last night. Keeping the job I have isn't the worst thing in the world."

His eyes shot directly into mine and the intensity in them caught me off guard. "But it's bad."

I stared into his eyes, shaking my head. "No, it's not bad. I enjoy what I do. Whether I'm doing that for Mike as a marketing manager consultant or working exclusively with Chanel it's essentially the same thing."

He shook his head, arguing with what I had just said. "But where would you be happy. And don't you dare say with me because that's a cop out." He said, throwing out a disclaimber before leaning in to kiss my nose. "You told me that once."

I laughed softly and nodded, kissing the side of his mouth. "Either one, honestly. I mean, would New York be nice? Sure, it's always good to experience change; it makes you grow as a person. But would I miss my family a ton? Definitely. And that's the appeal of Seattle. I'm close to those I know and love; my friends, my family. Seattle's easy, because it's all I know so it's an easy choice. But Edward, you're my home. Wherever you want to be is where I'll go."

"Oh, Bella. When are you going to see that you have me regardless?" He smirked, rolling his eyes. Bella, say the word and we're here. I'll do it, and I won't say other word. I promise. If this is something that you want, don't let me stand in the way." He took a deep breath, looking directly at me. "Do what you'd do if I wasn't a factor."

"But you _are _a factor Edward. Yea, okay... if we weren't together I would choose New York. But we _are _together and there's more to think about now. Do we want to raise kids in New York away from their grandparents, aunts and uncles? I know I don't. And I don't want to have to plan a move back to Seattle once we decide, _if _we decide to have children. You, me... any unborn children... all of it factors in."

"We can have children if and only if you want them because technically you're the one that has to do the whole birthing thing. So if you don't want to have them with me..." He paused, interrupting himself mid-thought. "No. You know what? I have to ask you for at least one because I really, _really_ love the idea of having a smaller version of you to dote on." He smiled as if picturing our future child in his head. "But even so, she'd be happy wherever we are. And if that's being here, then we'll make it work. I hate that we had this all figured out and now I'm second guessing it. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

I laughed and kissed him quickly. "Nothing, this is a huge decision for us. But no," I replied, shaking my head. "I don't want to raise a child here. I want our child or children to play with Alice's kids and get piggy back rides from my brother and get two Christmases with each of our families. I want a family Edward, with you."

**EPOV**

I pulled Bella down into me and kissed her gently. "I only ever want you to be happy. You know that right?"

"Mhm I know. And I love you that much more for it."

I smiled back at her, and pushed her over to get up. "I'm gonna hop into the shower. Did you eat yet?"

"Nope. I wasn't sure what we were doing, so I didn't."

I laughed and started into the bathroom. "What do you feel like?"

"Whatever, I'm not really that hungry. Can we just grab dessert and skip the dinner part?"

I turned on the water, laughing. "Order room service, then. But get me some food okay? You might not be hungry, but I am."

Bella followed me into the bathroom, menu in hand. "What do you want?"

I turned back to her, kicking off my socks and sneakers. "Something with chicken. What looks good?"

"Hmm... they have chicken pesto... chicken alfredo.... chicken parmigiana... mini bbq chicken pizzas... your standard chicken sandwich with fries..." (looks up) "evidently it's chicken mania here."

I leaned back, rubbing my stomach. "Fries?" I asked.

She shrugged, "It says 'grilled or fried chicken sandwich with a side of potato wedges.'"

I laughed, shaking my head. "I mean do you feel like fries? Cause it's either that or the pizza."

"I'll steal some of your fries, sure." She looked up at me and smiled. "So the sandwich then?"

I smiled back at her, hooking my thumbs in my shorts. "Go for it."

She raised an eyebrow and I watched her eyes dip down to my shorts before slowly returning to meet my gaze. "Go for it, huh?"

I felt my mouth turn up at one side. "What?"

She took a step closer to me, "Sometimes, I don't think you realize the effect you have on me."

"What effect might that be?"

"That you smile, smirk, hell... look at me for more than two seconds straight and I want to drop my clothes and jump you."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pushing my face into the crook of her neck. "You do?"

"Mhm. And when we're close like this, no matter how many times we are, my heart beats so loudly I swear it's a beat away from jumping out of my chest."

I held her tighter as I whispered, "Mine too."

She pressed her lips to my forehead. "Should I go order food, or join you?"

I laughed, pulling away to look at her. "Both. I don't mind if you're a little late."

She tugged off my shirt. "Would you mind terribly, if I joined you first?"

I sighed sarcastically, "But then I'll have to _wait."_

"Oh, well then... I guess you can _wait _for both then." She smirked at me, as she turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

I shook my head and dropped my shorts to step into the shower. I felt bad about last night, still, and I felt even worse this afternoon when I saw the disappointment flicker over her eyes. It was only there for the briefest moment, but I still managed to catch it. She wouldn't ever tell me other wise, but I knew she wanted this. I breezed through my shower, then dried off on my way to change. By the time I made it back to the living room, Bella was curled up on the sofa fast asleep. I smiled, pushing back her hair then covering her with a blanket. I decided to go grab dinner at the bar and I left Bella a note before heading down.

I had just ordered when I felt two arms wrap around my chest. "Evidently food is better than having me in the shower." Bella whispered, peppering kisses on my neck.

I laughed lightly, grabbing her thigh behind me. "Evidently the idea of jumping me in the shower puts you to sleep."

"Who says I went straight to bed? Maybe all that teasing got me so worked up I had to take of business myself and I fell asleep afterwards." She suggested, coming around to sit beside me.

I raised an eyebrow, smirking at her. "First of all, what teasing was that? And secondly, do you always drool while you get yourself off? You've never done that for me."

Bella laughed at my suggestion. "the drooling was after I fell asleep, one. Two, you being shirtless was the teasing. You're lucky I'm not trying to get you naked here and now." Bella causally stated as she waved down the bar tender.

I shook my head, twisting my beer bottle on the counter. "If you say so." I put my hand on her knee, running my fingers over it. "You sleep okay?"

Bella ordered a vodka tonic before turning back to me. "You weren't there, so no, not really."

My brow furrowed as I looked at her. "I'm sorry."

She grinned. "To quote you - 'you apologize too much'."

I grinned back at her, "I can't help it. It seems like all I do is fuck up. Hey, can I give you an engagement present?"

Her brow furrowed and she had the most adorable crease in her forehead. "You don't fuck up all the time. And... a present? Isn't that what the ring is supposed to be?"

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Thanks for over looking my flaws, Baby. And no. The ring is a symbol of our commitment. The present would be more 'thanks for saying yes' thing."

"Um... but... I get you. And you get me. What's there to say thank you for?" She asked, looking adorably confused.

I laughed as the bartender brought my food. "Thank you for saving my entire fucking life. And you should eat something if you're going to drink."

She grabbed a fry off my plate and showed it to me with a grin. "Better hubby?"

I sighed, "Not quite, my darling wife. I really wish you'd get some food."

She gave me a wide smile. "Say it again."

I furrowed my brow. "I want you to eat?"

Bella laughed, shaking her head. "No, the part before that." She slid off of her stoll, and repositioned herself in between my body and the bar.

Suddenly it clicked and i wrapped my arms around her as i lowered my lips to her neck. "My wife."

She hummed against me and scratched at the back of my neck. "I can't wait."

I kissed her skin again, "Me either. So... will you eat something?"

Bella spun around and ordered a side of fries. "Better?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Slightly. But I'll take it."

She pushed her lips up for me to kiss, and I happily obliged. "Good." Then she threw down half of her drink. "So how was your day?"

Oh, shit. "Okay. Like I said, I wanted to get you something so I walked around for a little bit. Then I came back and went for a run."

"Edward, you need to stop buying me things." She told me, her face growing serious.

"Why? I love you and you're going to be my wife and give me babies. This is like... thanks for doing that whole child birthing thing."

"Edward, I'm not pregnant yet. Unless... that's an invitation to try?" She smirked.

I laughed, taking a bite of my sandwich. "Do you want to try? We've certainly had a ton of practice."

"I'm ready to stop using condoms whenever you are." She told me seriously.

I looked at her. "Really?" I wasn't sure how I felt. Sure I wanted kids with her, but did I want them now? I wasn't sure.

Her face fell and I felt like shit. "No... I mean it's whatever.." She disentangled herself from me and made her way back to her stool. "Sorry."

I tugged her back to me, "No. C'mere. Talk to me."

She sighed, not looking up at me. "No it's fine. Let's drop it. I seem to be really good at freaking you out this trip so let's just... ignore everything I said 5 seconds ago." She blushed as the waiter brought her her fries and she began picking at them.

I sighed, cupping her cheek in my hand. "Bella, I can't. You said it." I laughed to myself. " And Bella's word is law. So talk to me."

"No. I'm just acting like an excited puppy. Now that I have what I want, I want everything that goes along with it... and it's all freaking you out. First the move, then looking at houses, now this baby thing..." She sighed again, "Let's just drop it."

I shook my head turning back to my plate. I knew I'd hurt her; I knew I should've just kept my mouth shut. Now she thought I was freaked out by everything I've always wanted. God, I was such a mess when it came to this girl. I ate pretty much in silence while Bella downed drink after drink. I just couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut. I paid her tab and mine, before sliding off my stool and turning to her. She was plastered. I put one hand on the small of her back, rubbing in circles. "Baby, you ready?"

"Hm?" She asked, giving me a huge dopey grin. "Where are we goin?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Back upstairs."

"Oh?" Bella asked. I looped her arm over my shoulder and started out of the bar with her. We got into the elevator without too much stumbling. My poor Bella. Look at what I'd done to her. I leaned over, pressing my lips to her temple. That was when she spoke.

"I've wanted in your pants since the first time I saw you at Dr. Carlisle's office."

I laughed, helping her down the hallway. "Really?"

"Mhm! I remember wondering if it was bad that I wanted to fuck a stranger I'd never seen or talked to before more than my boyfriend." (looks up at him through her eyelashes) "I think maybe I've always loved you."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I loved you since the first time you smiled at me. I just don't think I knew it at the time."

Bella slumped down against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest. "let's sit out here."

I cocked my head to the side, looking down at her. "You okay?"

"Mhm. I just don't want to go back in yet."

I sighed, sinking down next to her. "Okay. Any reason in particular?"

"I like being out with you. Not having to hide." She grabbed my hand and started to trace circles in my palm. "even if we're just in a hallway."

I laughed, watching her fingers twist with mine. "Well, if you want we can go sit in the lobby. More people will see us down there."

Bella lifted my hand and tugged my arm over her shoulders so that she could snuggle against me. "Let's stay here."

I pulled her tighter to my chest and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, My Bella."

"Why weren't you sad when we found out we weren't pregnant?" Her voice dropped to a low, sad tone. "When you say you want kids with me... is that just lip service?"

I nuzzled the top of her head with my nose. "I was sad, Bella. But I wanted to take care of you. And making you feel guilty because I feel sad isn't taking care of you." I sighed, "I want children with you, Bella. I want as many as you'll give me. And I mean that. You're going to be my wife and have my children. That's everything that I want in my future."

"Then why'd you get all weird on me?"

Huh? "What do you mean?"

"You want me to be your wife, to build a home with you, to have kids, but you get skiddish when I bring up the idea of getting married here, of settling down, of looking at houses, of not using condoms..." She pulled away from me, and warpped her arms around her knees, then put her head down. Fuck.

I sighed, rubbing the back of her head. "I'm not skiddish, baby, I'm just thinking about it. If you want to get married out here, then we will. We can go tomorrow if you want. I just don't know how I feel about being away from Max and my family if we move out here. As far as our kids go, baby, it'll happen. I want them with you, but I want to make sure we're ready for them. I want a little more time for you to be mine. Only mine. Does that make sense?"

She turned her head to look at me, and I lost my breath because of how sad she looked. "But what if I'm ready? Edward, I didn't know I was ready for babies til I found myself possibly with one inside me. And now... now, I want to start a family with you. Edward, I don't think you get how losing the baby we never had changed me. It was a fucking phantom baby that never existed but it kickstarted something in me."

I looked back at her, trying to absorb the hurt I saw in her eyes. "Bella, I--"

"And I'm sad that you weren't sad with me. Edward, I love that you want to take care of me and protect me, but sometimes... I just need to know we're on the same page. And I needed to know that you were hurting like I was that night and the next day." She took a deep breath. "Do you remember what you said, when I asked how you were feeling that morning?"

I shook my head. I hated that she felt like this. That I had made her feel like this.

"Tired. You said you were tired. Not sad, not crushed... not feeling like a part of you died. And that was everything I was. So when I was there I just... couldn't be. Because you were acting as if I was just being sensitive and you were treating me with kid gloves and I didn't need pity. I needed you to say that it fucking sucked and you were sad too. But... you didn't, cuz you weren't." She turned back away from me and I heard her mumble. "So I guess it's a good thing I wasn't."

I took my hands off of her, and folded them in my lap. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't realize that that's how I was making you feel." I mumbled, "But I was sad. It sucked. It felt like I'd lost a part of myself. I felt like I let you down, and I still feel like that. I just keep it to myself."

She turned to look at me again. "Let me down?"

I laughed sadly to myself. "Bella, I came inside you how many times that month? Without a condom. If it was anyone's fault it was mine. I couldn't even... I couldn't even make that happen for you."

She scoffed as though this was the last possible cause. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the problem. That's just as likely."

I sighed, "Not necessarily. It seems I can't ever give you what you want when you want it, so it makes sense that I couldn't give you that either

She sat up, her eyebrows pulled together. "You really think that?"

"Of course. I don't ever do anything right by you. It seems like everything I try and give you back fires and you get unhappy in the end.

She blinked at me a couple times, as if trying to figure out what the fuck I was talking about, then she moved to straddle my lap. "Edward, I've been in an unhappy relationship for 5 years. Trust me, I know what being miserable is. And you being with me, loving me? The COMPLETELY opposite spectrum." She smiled at me and cupped my jaw. I leaned into her touch as she spoke. "I just... don't know how to do this part. I've never seen myself doing what we're doing."

I laughed, pulling her back down into me. "What are we doing? Having a future? Baby, that's the easy part. We just be together, and take it as it comes. I think that's what I like best about you and me. I never feel like we _have_ to do anything, or that we should be doing whatever the fuck. I love just being... us."

"I meant I never saw myself loving someone so much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them."

Yeah, I'm an ass. "Oh."

Her lips hovered over mine as she spoke. "But for the record, I love just being us too." Then she pressed her lips gently to mine.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands, "I'm sorry. For making you feel that way after the baby. I just didn't want you to hurt more. Bella, you were... are so sad. I can't let you take mine, too."

"It's not taking it, it's going through it together."

I nodded, looking at her carefully. She was finally opening up to me, and I wasn't going to waste it. "Can I ask you something and you promise to tell me the truth?"

She nodded, "Sure."

"Do you want to take the job at Chanel and move out here?"

"Half of me does. The other half wants to go home."

"Then maybe we should try it. At least for a while. See how it goes."

"But, you don't want to."

I shook my head. "I'm afraid to. But I'll do it for you."

Her fingers brushed over my cheek and she smiled a little. "And that's one of the millions of reasons that I love you. But honestly Edward, if you're leaning towards no then let's just go back home." She paused and tapped one finger lightly on my cheek bone. "Are you worried I'll regret not staying?"

Um, Duh. "Yeah. So let's give it a shot. Who knows. You might hate it, and I might love it. We might love it together. We might hate it together." I sighed, running my hands up and down her thighs. "You know what the best thing I've learned from you is? Besides how to love completely?"

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. "What?"

"You have to give everything a chance. Even if it doesn't work out, every experience is worth something. I was thinking about it while I was out today, and it's more than just me following you for your job. It's having an experience together. It's making a life together that's uniquely ours."

"I love you for it. For wanting it for us, but I already told Francois no. And really, the more it sinks in, the more I think Seattle is home. We can have our experiences and build our life there, can't we?"

"Of course we can. I'm sorry for being so indecisive. I just... next time, let's talk everything out okay? Let's figure it out together?"

Bella laughed a little. "I thought that's what we did last night?"

"We... skirted around it last night. I don't want to have a conversation like that with you ever again. I don't want to have to keep things from you." Fucking hypocrite.

"Me either. I never want you to feel like you have to keep things from me." She leaned in, burying her face against my neck. "I vow to always be honest with you."

I laughed, "So can we get married tomorrow? I wanna get you to vow a ton of shit."

I could feel her smirking into my skin. "Mhm. Like what?"

"Love me, cherish me... the usual suspects," I said, kissing her nose gently.

"Oh, well then..." She pulled away enough to plant a kiss on my chin, then trailed along my jaw as she spoke. "I promise to love you,cherish you, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love your family and have your children, and to always spend a portion of my Sundays naked in bed with you" She pulled away, then dove in for my lips. " ... for as long as we both shall live."

"Forever, love. You know that I want to love you forever, right?"

"I know that I will love you forever."

I smiled at her, "I promise to be there; to love you, and hold you and give you children, and to spend all of sunday naked with you." I leaned my forehead to her shoulder, "I'll be there for everything, Bella. Promotions, births, recitals, dates, picnics... I'll be there _for_ you and _with_ you. Because there's nothing else I'd rather vow to do than spend the rest of my life with you."

"Let's do it; let's get married tomorrow."

I laughed into her skin. "Didn't I just ask you that?"

"You did and I'm confirming."

"Bella, if you're comfortable with getting married tomorrow, then I'd love it if you'd be my bride."

"If I'm comfortable? I am _definitely _comfortable being your Mrs. Cullen."

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "My Mrs. Cullen? Who else's would you be?"

"No one's. I'll only ever be yours." She put her head down on my shoulder. "Do you think we could go to bed soon?"

"Sure, Baby. Right now." I shifted her off of my lap and stood. Bella held her arms up to me, and I lifted her up. She clung to me, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. I didn't bother with the lights as I walked into the bedroom and put Bella on the bed. "Baby, how do you feel about pretending it's sunday?" I asked, unbuttoning her shirt

Bella licked her lips then started fumbling with the catch on my jeans. "I'm all for it."

I brushed her hands away and pulled off her shirt. "You need to sleep. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, a little tired but all sobered up." She looked up at me, "If it's Sunday for me, it's Sunday for you." She said, then went back in for my pants.

I laughed and let her push at my jeans while I pulled off her shoes. She gave up after she couldn't get them past my thighs. I did the rest myself, stripping down to my boxers. Then I crawled into bed with her. Bella pushed herself into my chest and I began playing with her hair. "I cried that night."

"When?"

I sighed, lowering my voice to a whisper. "The night we found out we weren't pregnant. I cried."

She sat up to look at me. "You did?"

I nodded, "I cried myself to sleep."

Her face softened, and she reached out to cup my jaw. "Baby..."

"I just don't want you to think that you were alone. That you were the only one who wanted the baby. I did, too. I was just as sad, Bella. I still am."

She leaned down to kiss me softly, "You're right though. We'll have them one day." She whispered, then kissed me again.

"I know, Bella. I love you."


	32. Chapter 32

BOO!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehe, no worries Kella kels, it's only me :)

whew, you can't scare me like that, especially on halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! TRICK OR TREEEEATTTTT!

I think us posting is definitely a TREAT... but, it might be a trick if you're reading this chap before reading the last one. So definitely read chap 31 before going on to read the ditty below, k?

Def def, otherwise this wouldn't make sense. Just like it doesn't make sense that SMeyer (who owns) would suddenly make Teds have... uh, potent bodily fluids :P

I know! Or that she'd FTB and leave EVERY ONE pissed at the lack of R-ratedness. But we don't do that; infact we try to make up for the FTB by giving you ladies and gents tons of citrus to read!

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Def def :)

* * *

**BPOV  
****  
**I woke up to the sound of Edward snoring lightly. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and my back was flush against his chest. I sighed and his arms pulsed around me, pulling me tighter as he nuzzled the side of my head with his cheek. His breath was steady against my shoulder and I smiled. Waking up like this in his arms, was perfect. A few moments went by and I heard my phone chirp, indicating I had a voicemail. I waited a couple more minutes, hearing it chirp again before I carefully tore his arms from my body and slid out of bed, padding off to grab it. I did my best to quietly extract it from my purse and saw I had 7 missed called. I flipped it open. James. James. Emmett. James. Alice. James. James. Weird. I grabbed the quilt that was at the foot of the bed and wrapped myself in it before walking into the living room and sitting on the couch starting to listen to my messages.

"Bella its me--" I hit delete at the sound of James voice.

"Bella, come on. I'm sorry--" Delete.

"Belzoni! It's your bro! Remember, the dude that you forgot to call and inform about your trip? Jesus I almost had a heart attack til dad filled me in. Way to keep me in the loop. And here I thought we were close." He snipped sarcastically, laughing at his own joke. "Anyway, give me a call. I'll be up in Seattle for a couple days early next week. If you're back by then we should have dinner and you can tell me all about your high class business traveling job that you've managed to make for yourself. You're a burger flipper, right?" he teased, once again laughing at himself. "Just kiddin'. Anyway, call me. Laters!" I hit delete and smiled, feeling a pang of regret that I'd somehow managed to forget touching base. He really was too protective sometimes.

"Bella! You probably took my advice and didn't pick up while humping my brother in law, but I wanted to call and... see how you are." She said slowly. She must have known about Edward's proposal idea. I glanced at my ring as her voice continued to echo through the phone. "Anyway! I hope you two are doing fantastic and having a complete blast in New York, though I'm a little hurt that you didn't invite me. I mean COME ON BELLA do you understand the magnitude of damage I could do to Jasper and I's finances with a few days in New York!? Oh, wait, maybe you do... nevermind. It would still be fun. OMIGOD! That's it! Girls trip to New York! No work, no boys, no babies. Just us! OMIGOD IT'LL BE SO MUCH FUN! Okay! I'm gonna go and start planning! CALL MEEE!" She demanded excitedly, stressing the 'e'. I laughed softly and hit delete. Okay so 2 phone calls to make.

"Bella, come on. I know you're around. You didn't leave your phone at home, I know you didn't. Just talk to me. Fuck. We can't make up if you don't answer your god damn phone. You're so fucking childish sometimes. Let's just talk this shit out. That's what couples do right? Call me, love you." I laughed and rolled my eyes as I hit delete. Way to insult me then end it with 'I love you'.

"Bella, okay. So whatever, you're dealing with shit. I get that. I get you're stressed doing commercials and stuff. So I'll let this immature phone call ignoring thing go. I'll meet you at the airport and pick you up though. Just call and let me know when you're coming home. I really do love you and hopefully you aren't still mad when you get back. I miss my Bella-ella." He cooed. My heart tightened. He hadn't called me that in years. Not since the last time I was happy with our relationship.

I deleted his last message and shut my phone off, staring at it for a moment. Why did he keep calling? I just didn't get it. We barely saw each other and if he called me four times in a week, I was lucky. And now here he was, calling me four times in what, a day and a half? I sighed and left my phone on the coffee table, shaking off the messages and the quilt as I curled back up with Edward in bed. he was laying flat on his back, one arm under his pillow the other laying flat against his chest. I curled up beside him, nuzzling his neck.

No, this was where I belong and who I belonged with.

His arm moved from his chest and wrapped around my shoulders pulling me against him as he groaned and rolled onto his side. He threw his leg over mine and I smiled burying my face into the curve of his neck.

"You left." He murmured groggily into my hair. I nodded. "I went to check my phone, it was beeping with voicemails." He made a noncommittal noise and squeezed his arms around me. I moved my head down to just below his shoulder, placing my cheek over his collar bone. Edward's lips darted softly to my forehead, before moving down and kissing the tip of my nose. I tilted my head up, smiling. His eyes were slightly open; a hint of green peeking out under his heavy lids. His lips brushed against mine lightly and I smiled as his lips parted and moved against mine again. My hands ran up from their position on his lower back to his chest and up his body before sliding around his neck and tangling in his hair. His tongue darted out, gliding along my bottom lip as I opened my mouth just enough for my tongue to meet his. He let out quiet moan, tilting his head to deep the kiss and I whimpered as he rolled me onto my back and hovered over me. One of his hands trailed down my side, tracing my curves before resting on my hip while his other hand reached around to the back of my neck, pulling my head up to meet his. I loved the taste of him, even his nasty morning breath didn't seem as rancid as it probably should have been.

This had to be true love. What other kind of love would mess with one's senses and make a vile thing like morning breath taste maybe not like heaven, but certainly no worse than spoiled honey.

He pulled his lips from mine slowly laying my head back down on the pillow but not moving his hand from the back of my neck. We were both panting and staring at each other smiling sleepily. "Morning love." He murmured, pressing another kiss to my forehead.

"Mmm, morning." I greeted in return, kissing his chin.

"Wait can we do that again? I wanna try something." He grinned lazily.

I smiled up at him and nodded a little. "We can do that as much as you want."

His lips curved up, twisting into a smirk. "Good Morning, Mrs. Cullen."

"Good morning Mr. Cullen."

"How did you sleep?"

"Fantastic... but what did you want to try?" I asked curiously.

He puffed out a laugh, kissing my lips quickly. "That was it. I wanted to see how it felt calling you Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh, and how was it?"

"Awesome." He said, kissing me again.

I laughed under his kiss, lifting my head to press my lips more firmly against his. I never wanted to stop kissing the man above me. Not even when we were old and decrepit and didn't have our own teeth anymore. He would always be the only man I would ever want to feel against me.

I pulled back after a few moments, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth and trying to steady my breath. When our breathing had returned to normal I gave him a half smile. "Are we getting married today?"

"Uh huh." He replied with a wide grin.

I gently pushed him off me and rolled over to face him, kissing his lips quickly. "Well then, I should hop in the shower. You wouldn't want to marry a girl who hadn't bathed before the ceremony." I teased.

"Baby, you could come smelling like shit. I wouldn't care." He laughed. "That just means I get to shower with you after."

"Well you get to do that regardless." I smirked, winking at him.

Two hours later, we were rushing to get to city hall before it closed at noon to get our marriage license so the officiating could be... official. We sped through the hotel lobby, both of us trying to hail a cab. Finally, after what felt like a waste of 10 minutes, a cabby finally stuck his arm out, shouting at me from the opposite side of the street. I waved towards Edward who was halfway down the block. He began jogging over to me and I raced across the street towards the cab.

That was when I felt the metal against my side. Everything went black as my head collided with hot cement and the world faded away.

**EPOV**

No.

No.

Bella?

Bella.

No.

"She came outta no where! What the hell was I supposed to do?" I heard the cabby shout as I collapsed beside Bella's lifeless form. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I didn't know what to do or who I was in that moment, because everything was Bella. I pushed my fingers gently to her throat, and heaved a great sigh once I realized her pulse was strong. She was with me. But the blood... all the blood coming from the top of her head, matting her soft brown hair. I didn't know what to do.

"Buddy, you know her?" I heard someone ask.

I must have nodded, "She's my fiancée. Someone... call 911?" I asked, pulling Bella closer to me. I leaned my face to hers, running my lips over her cheek. "Bella? Bella? Baby? Can you hear me? Baby, you can't... you can't go, okay? I need you... Baby, please--"

I was pulled abruptly from Bella's side by a rather large EMT, who immediately began to work on her. I watched in agony as they poked at her, hooking her up to bags and lifting her onto the back board and gurney. It couldn't be good. Nothing would ever be the same again if I didn't have Bella. Nothing would be right. I followed Bella into the ambulance, and held her hand the entire ride. I still hadn't processed it, even then as I watched them try and stop her bleeding, nor when they hooked her up to the monitors. She was my Bella. She had to come back. She... she had to be with me. God, how fucking selfish could I be?

We were at the hospital within minutes, and they took Bella away from me again. I followed. I had to be with her. She was like a magnet to me. I followed her gurney through the ER, but I was stopped when an attending put a hand on my chest. "You can't go in there."

"But she's my--"

He shook his head, "They'll do all they can. See the nurse, and they'll take care of her."

I was breathing heavily as I wandered to the nurse's station and took the forms. I sat in the waiting area, and filled out the mound of paper work. Pound after pound of it, until I was sure my eyes were bleeding. I walked back to the station and handed the nurse the paper work. "Can I see her?"

The nurse pursed her lips, looking from the paper work to her computer screen. She tapped the keys a few times, then nodded. "Room 768, North Wing."

I was off like a shot. I needed my Bella. I needed to see her, and make sure she was okay. I needed... fuck. Bella. I ran up seven flights of stairs, then down probably a million different hallways, skidding to a stop when I reached her doorway. I gasped when I saw her. Bruised, from head to toe, and looking so vulnerable. My poor, poor Bella. It should have been me. I should have pushed her out of the way... I should have fucking held her hand. I couldn't... fuck, My Bella.

I went to her bedside, and carefully took her hand in mine. I kissed each of her finger tips in succession, fighting back the tears. This wasn't right. It should've been me. I leaned in, and kissed her forehead, then her lifeless lips. That nearly broke me. "Bella. Love? You need to come back to me. I need you, Baby. I want to make you my wife and give you the life you've always wanted. Please, Baby, please? Come back to me, Bella. Come back to me." It was too much then; being there with her as she remained unresponsive. I couldn't do it, and I finally broke down.

It was in that moment that I realized I could be losing everything. My life, my love, my very happiness. Gone.

My Bella.

Gone.

**BPOV  
**  
My eyes fluttered open at the sound of someone sobbing in the far distance. When my eyes focused, all I heard was the beeping of machines and Edward's voice murmuring something as he sat resting his head on the bed beside me. Bed? I thought we had left the hotel and were on our way...

I turned my head taking in my surroundings a bit more.

Fuck, a hospital. What the hell had I done now?

"Edward?" I whispered trying to reach for him but feeling a jolt of pain surge through every part of my body from my fingertips to my toes at the slight movement.

"Bella? Bella? Baby, can you hear me?" He asked frantically but with a quiet tone and he grabbed my hand and pulled it closer to him.

I winced at the pain and bit my lip nodding. "Edward what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked softly, moving through the pain as I reached up to cup his cheek brushing a stray tear away with my thumb.

His brows knitted together and he looked at me worriedly. "Baby... you... you don't remember? Fuck..." He said under his breath, turning to glance towards the door.

"No... I remember... most of it?" I said apprehensively. "I remember we left to go get married." I paused a moment racking my brain. "Did we get married? Am I now officially Mrs. Cullen?" I asked hopefully.

He shook his head slowly, his eyes showing nothing but sadness. "No, Baby. I'm so sorry."

I felt my face fall, unable to hide my own disappointment as the pain throbbed through my face and neck. "No, I'm sorry. I did something stupid right? That's why we're here and not celebrating, right?" Ugh, I was such a fucking ditz sometimes. "Edward, I'm so sorry."

He leaned over me, brushing a few hairs from my face and moving them behind my ear, kissing my temple gently. "No... no... baby, it was my fault. I should have been with you... next to you. It should have been me. I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I won't ever let go of your hand."

I tilted my head slightly and sighed, looking at him sadly. "Edward, it's not your fault. I told you; I'm a spazz. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I meant it when I said I'd probably be the first of us to go because I'm so accident prone." I chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. "But I'm fine. A little sore, but fine. And I will not stand for you thinking this was your fault."

He smiled, looking completely broken. "Love, if something had... if you hadn't... I wouldn't know what to do. I can't be without you. I just can't."

"But nothing really happened, and I did wake up, so it's okay." I smiled warmly at him. "I'm just sorry that we didn't get to get married today. I was really looking forward to legally being your wife by dinner."

"I know, Baby. Me too. As soon as you're out of here, that'll be the first stop. Okay?"

"Edward, tomorrow's Sunday - city hall is closed. We'll have to wait til Monday."

"So?"

"How are we going to get a marriage license if city hall is closed?"

"We'll go on Monday, silly goose."

I smiled a little and nodded. Good, my accident prone side hadn't scared him off. I sighed and sank my head back against the pillow a bit more. I was fighting to keep my eyes open when there was a knock on the door and in popped a tall lanky doctor with a big bushy white beard. He was like an anorexic Santa.

"Ms. Swan?" He asked as he approached the side of my bed.

"Soon to be Mrs. Cullen." I added with a smile. I wanted everyone in the entire fucking world to know that if they wanted to stop calling me Swan it was perfectly fine with me. He grinned and looked from me to Edward. "Ah, congratulations." He commented, glancing down at the file he had in his hand. " Alright then soon to be Mrs. Cullen, how are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm in a hospital instead of getting married at city hall right now, so not too dandy." I snapped a bit harshly. "I'm sorry." I spit out quickly. "I just... I'm upset about the timing."

"Hm. Yes, that's very... _An Affair to Remember _indeed." He remarked, sliding the stethoscope from around his neck to situate in place. He lifted my wrist and looked at me sympathetically as I winced involuntarily. "I'm sorry. I'm just going to check your pulse."

We waited a few minutes before he unplugged his ears and made a note in the chart. "Well the good news is, no major injuries. No internal bleeding, no broken bones, no major lacerations aside from the gash in your head which has already been sewn up." He looked over at Edward. "You are one lucky fiance. Isabella's injuries could and based on the accident report, _should _have been much worse."

Edward's eyes were trained on me as he responded. "I know."

The doctor nodded and turned his focus back on me. "So still a bit sore though, huh?"

"Yea, all over. It's like a steady throbbing of pain." I admitted. He nodded and made another note before looking up. "Well, I guess the bad news is you are pretty banged up. You have the gash in your forehead and bruises as well as minor cuts and scrapes over most of your torso. Unfortunately there's no quick fix remedy to heal those - just time. I can, however give you something for the pain." He paused checking the IV that was currently stuck into my right hand. "How's the pain now, on a scale from 1 to 10?"

"Out of all the injuries I've ever had? About a 9.5 to 15, depending how much I'm moving."

"When you don't move at all?"

"A 9.5."

"And when you move slightly? Like when I lifted your wrist?"

"13."

His brow furrowed and he nodded. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, not like that could have been avoided." He smiled softly and nodded with a sigh. "Well I'm going to see about the nurse getting you an IV drip of morphine or something similar and we'll get you a prescription for the next few days of something that'll knock the pain out until the soreness fades.

Ugh, I hated morphine. It turned me into an idiot, but I was in too much pain to argue so I thanked him and tried to adjust my body towards Edward as the doctor left the room. Fuck, ow. Yea, not happening. I winced, clenching my jaw. Edward was looking at me with utter despair and concern all over his face. "Edward I'm fine."

He took a step back, sitting back down in the chair and sighing. "You aren't though. You're anything but."

"You heard the doctor. Nothing major, that's typically a good thing."

"Yeah, but Bella, this is _you._ I can't... I can't let things like this happen to you." He lamented.

"Edward, one of the first thing we have to get cleared up if we are going to last is that this is _me_. I've always been the most frequent patient in the ER. I'm the ER's best friend and insurance company's best client. You can't blame yourself every time I wind up in the hospital, and you can't prevent these things from occurring. I'm just a walking disaster; honestly, I'm surprised nothing's happened before today, when you've been around." I smiled and pulsed my hand in his, clenching my jaw tightly as the pain shot from my hand up to my shoulder. "If anything, you're my good luck charm. I can't remember the last time I went two months without incident."

He pressed his cheek against my hand that was laying flat at my sighed. He kissed the back of my hand softly, shutting his eyes. "Bella, I... I hate this. I hate watching you in pain like this." he admitted, standing up and moving to lean against the wall beside the window.

"I'll be okay Edward, really." I smiled over at him. "I'm--"

A short, chubby nurse popped her head in and smiled brightly. "Isabella Swan?" She asked as she stepped into the room and walking over to us. "That's me." I sighed. She continued to smile and shook a rather large needle in her hand. "I have this for you to help with the pain. Have you ever taken a pain killer this strong before?"

"Yea. I'm a bit... accident prone. I'm not a big fan of morphine."

She laughed softly. "Yeah, most people aren't. This quite a bit stronger, and will last longer. Hopefully you won't start to feel any pain again for another 12-24 hours." I nodded and watched her ease the needle directly into my IV. Almost immediately I felt the throbbing diminish and I turned, without hesitation or severe pain towards Edward. "See Edward, I'm fine."

**EPOV**

"Yeah, Bella, for now." I said, moving back toward her bed and trying to get her to stop hiding her pain from me. She was terrible at it anyway. I couldn't believe that I'd let this happen to her. Not matter what she said, it was still my fault. I should have been at her side, and we should have been married by now. And that's all there is to it.

She let out a huge sigh, as if testing her lung capacity. "Yes for now, and now is what matters." She leaned forward and tapped the tip of my nose. "You taught me that. Living for the now."

"Bella?" What the hell was she going on about now? "What?"

She giggled at me. "You're really hot." She glanced up at the nurse, who seemed amused. "Isn't he hot?" She slurred. Oh. My. God.

"Bella..." I turned to the nurse who was trying not to bust out laughing "I'm sorry, she's just--"

"We should have sex in here before we have to leave."

I looked nervously from Bella, then back to the nurse. "Give us a minute?" She nodded, and walked out so I turned back to Bella. "Baby, you can't say things like that in front of hospital staff."

"Oh pish. You know she was thinking the same thing."

Oh, God. "Love, that's not the point. How are you feeling?"

"Superb. Soo-purrrrrrrb."

I rolled my eyes and walked toward the window. I knew it was the drugs. I had to keep reminding myself that it was only the drugs. "Bella, i love you.'' I whispered, not expecting her to hear.

"I love you too."

I spun around when I heard her respond. "Still? After all the shit I pulled?"

She looked at me like I was the one on a morphine drip. "Um... you didn't pull anything."

I laughed humorlessly. "I'm glad you think so."

She sat up a little, "Come here, please?"

I walked over to her, pushing the hair out of her glassy eyes. "Hm?"

She cleared her throat, and I could tell she just wanted to tell me that she liked my ass, but she tried to be serious. "You didn't do anything Edward. I love you, all of you, everything that you are. And I will always love you. That's never going to go away." She reached up to brush her fingers over my cheek. "Francois calls you my Prince Charming and I'm inclined to agree." She smiled up at me like I was her whole world; like she couldn't do anthing without me.

I sighed, looking down at the starched blue sheets. "But I don't have a white horse."

"No, but you have an awesome Volvo." She reminded me, "And really, horses are overrated; they poop like every 5 minutes."

I laughed, leaning into her touch a little more. "Completely. And where would I put it?"

"Good point. It's not like they have horse lots in the middle of downtown Seattle to park them."

"Exactly. What kind of engagement gift should I get you, love?"

"A pony?" Bella laughed.

I laughed back at her, "You have one. What else?"

"A key to your studio?" She asked next.

I furrowed my brow, pulling out my keys. "I thought you had one." I pulled out her keys from her bag and slipped on the spare. "All set, love. And that doesn't count. What else?"

Her face went serious, "Edward, I was kidding. I know that's your bachelor pad and work space. I don't want to intrude on that." But then she smiled. "You can save that for your anti-Bella days and move in with me for the rest of the time."

I laughed, "What are anti-Bella days?" I wasn't sure I wanted them.

"You know..." She gave me a look as though I should know exactly what she was talking about. "When you're tired of me or mad at me... or just need a break from this." She said, waving her hand in front of herself. "Anti-Bella days."

I shook my head, "Yeah... I don't think I want any of those."

"You will." She said decisivly.

I smirked at her, "Will I?"

"Mhm. You'll get tired of me wanting you all the time. Or like.. the way I prefer ice cream for dinner over any other type of food. Or how I like going for runs at 2am if I can't sleep. Or my annoyance with mushrooms will make you want to file for divorce eventually, if my hatred of tomatoes doesn't do it first." She said, pouting in her list of so-called inadequacies.

I leaned in, kissing her softly. "Bella, those are all the things I love most. Why would I ever want to give them up?"

"They'll annoy you eventually." She lamented before changing the subject."I want to meet your mom."

"No, they won't and sure you can. She still wants to thank you for saving my life last week."

Bella scoffed, "Edward, you had the flu. I didn't save your life."

I sighed dramatically. "I could've died.''

She smiled at me before leaning in to brush her lips gently over mine. "Not true. But even if that's what you think, that just makes us even. Because you literally saved my life today."

"Bella, I watched you get hit by a car. I literally did nothing."

"You saved me. You stayed with me." She looked down at her hands and my heart broke with how sincere she sounded. "You don't know what it means to me that you stayed. That you didn't leave."

I cupped her cheek in my hand, ''Where else am I gonna go?"

"Oh! I know what I want for an engagement gift!"

"What's that, Love?"

"Take me home and let's pretend it's Sunday while watching bad reality TV?" Her eyes flicked back up to mine, and she looked so hopeful.

I laughed, smiling back at her. "I'll talk to your doctor."

Bella nodded in agreement. "Okay. But first can you lay here with me? I'm kinda tired."

"Yeah, Baby. Of course." Scooted over a little and I climbed in beside her. Bella curled into my side, pushing her face into my neck. I leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you."

She sniffled, "I love you too. And I'm pretty sure the nurse does too." She told me with a knowing grin on her face.

I kissed her as I laughed lightly. "But the only girl I love is you. How about that?"

Bella laughed softly against me. "You better."

"I do, Bella. I do."


	33. Chapter 33

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**BPOV**I woke up to the sound of loud honking and my body feeling weightless.

Shit. shit. shit. Was I now paralyzed? My eyes shot open and I arched my head up glancing around me. Edward was holding me and putting me into a cab. He chuckled at my frazzled expression. "Everything okay baby?" I nodded, feeling my heart rate slow to a safe beat. He smiled and kissed my forehead before shutting the door and running around to the other side to climb in.

He gave the driver the hotel name and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his side. "They said that it was probably better to move you while you were still out. In case there was any more pain. How do you feel?"

"Okay, I think." I answered, yawning mid sentence. "I think my body's still in shock. It feels kinda tense."

His eyebrows crinkled and he looked at me worriedly. "I'm sorry, Baby."

"Stop apologizing, none of this is your fault. I'm pretty sure we've been over this."

"We have, but that doesn't mean the decision was unanimous." He said, wrapping strands of my hair around his finger.

"That's settled. When I get home we're going to Seattle General and I'm requesting they pull my file. You'll _see _why this isn't your fault. I invite injury constantly Edward. This had nothing to do with you and in no way, shape or form was it your fault. I was just over due."

"I should have been by your side. I should have been there to pull you out of the way. Even if you are accident prone, it's my job to make sure your accidents are no bigger than a paper cut."

I sighed, turning to look up at him. "You're amazing, and that's really sweet of you to say but it's really not. It's your job to love me, respect me and eventually help me make and raise our children. But that's it. It's not your job to save me from my own stupidity."

"Okay, but it was that ass hole's fault. he was practically on the side walk. And on top of it, if you're having my children, obviously I have to protect you." He exhaled deeply, kissing my scalp. "I can't raise them without you, love."

"And you won't have to, but these things happen to me pretty consistently. So it's better that you're prepared for them. I'm not exactly the epitome of grace and good luck." I smiled, burying my face in the crook of his neck, placing a soft kiss. "Of course, with the exception of having met you.

"Bella, I love you. I don't want to lose you."

I squeezed his hand as the the cab pulled in front of the hotel and the bellhop opened the door. I slowly scooted out, smiling up at the man, as Edward raced around the car helping me ease out. We didn't speak at all as we walked to the elevator and walked briskly to one that was about to close. I leaned against the back wall and sighed.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, brushing my hair behind my ear. I nodded. "Yeah, just stiff. No pain, it's just weird walking around feeling like you're made of glass - completely un-bendable."

"I could carry you." He offered, smiling.

I laughed under my breath and shook my head. "It's probably good that I stretch everything out anyway. But I'll take you up on that offer when I'm feeling better." I replied, with a wink as I pushed off slowly from the wall noticing the doors were about to open.

He wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him and helping to steady my own movement. I sighed as we stepped inside and he locked the door behind us. I walked towards the living room, and sat awkwardly on the armrest of the sofa. "Thank you for today. For taking care of me and being there."

"Where else would I be?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe and shoving his hands in his pockets nervously.

Anywhere? At a bar? Roaming around not caring like James always seemed to be whenever I got hurt, despite the fact that he worked for the fucking hospital? "I dunno. It just means a lot." I sighed quietly and leaned my head back, rolling it slowly before straightening it and looking at him. "Are you going to stay 10 feet away from me at all times til I'm healed?" I teased, noticing he still hadn't left his position against the front door.

He pulled one of his hands out of his jeans and ran it through his hair, looking at me warily. "I... I don't want to hurt you."

"Edward, I hate to break it to you. But if an entire car made of steel couldn't break me, you certainly won't."

"Bella..." He groaned moving closer to me. Perfect, exactly what I was hoping for; I smiled internally.

"Edward..." I mimicked.

"I really, really don't like thinking about you getting hurt. I can't laugh that off, love"

I cupped his jaw with one hand as he stood between my legs as they dangled off the arm of the chair. "I'm not asking you to. But I'm not as fragile as you think I am. Yea, no crazy rough sex but there's no reason why you can't kiss me or hold me or hug me." I sat up a bit more and brushed my lips against his softly. "See?" I replied, smiling warmly. "No harm done, in fact..." I kissed him again letting my lips linger on his. "That feels pretty good."

His arms circled my waist and he pulled us onto the sofa so I was laying flat atop him. "Yeah, it's not too bad. What did you want to do today, love?"

"I clearly remember being promised a pretend Sunday and reality TV." I replied, nuzzling my nose against his shoulder. "I like laying on top of you. You're more comfy than the bed."

He reached around me to grab the remote and turned on the TV that was laying on the top of the back of the sofa. "well, if you're comfortable, I'm not moving."

"Are you okay? I don't want to crush you or anything."

He laughed, causing my body to shake from the vibrations. "Bella, you weight like A pound, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

I nodded, kissing along his neck. "I'm great." I smiled into his skin. He sighed and slid a hand under my shirt, running soothing lines up and down my back as we both turned and watched mindless TV. After three episodes of Top Chef I turned to him. "Can we try to have sex before the super painkiller wears off?" I asked sheepishly, not meeting his eyes.

He laughed softly, shaking his head. "We probably shouldn't. I don't want you to hurt any more than you're going to after they wear off. All I have for you is extra strength Tylenol."

"What about the prescription pills the doc gave me? for after today?"

"Baby... he gave me extra strength Tylenol. He said that because it's only bruising, you shouldn't need more than that.''

"Hm." I weighed the options. "What if I'm on top?" I grinned.

"Baby, It's up to you. You're the one who has to deal with it later." He replied quietly, an edge of seriousness in his voice as his hands skimmed over my sides tenderly.

I sighed, tossing around the idea. "Okay fine, we can wait. But can we at least watch TV in bed, and pretend it's Sunday?"

"Yeah. I think we can manage that."

He got us both up and carried me bridal style to the bedroom, sitting me down gently at the foot of the bed. "Do you need anything, love?"

I looked up at him, smiling and shaking my head. "No, just you." He returned the smile and nodded, slowly helping me out of my clothing before moving to turn down the bed. I scooted further up on the mattress carefully as I watched him strip down and slide under the covers to my left. I turned achingly slowly (literally) and faced him. He brushed a few stray hairs out of my eyes and moved closer to me, wrapping an arm around my waist lightly. "Tighter." I murmured. His face fell a little at my request. "I don't want to hurt you." I tried to scoot closer to him but the soreness pulsed through me. Fortunately he got the hint and moved so close I could feel his breath blanketing my face. "Favorite childhood toy?" I asked, as I felt him hesitantly squeeze my waist, pulling me so close our hips were almost touching.

"Lite Brite. You?"

"The catch game that had the velcro pads that caught the ball."

"That was fun," he replied, kissing the top of my head. "Lemon or Lime?"

"Lime. You?"

He laughed, smiling bigger. "Lemon. Would you rather... sail or fly?"

"Fly. I hate boats. Be stuck in a forest with a chance of being rescued but where danger is high, or be stuck on a desert island with little chance of rescue but no danger aside from starvation?"

"Where are you?"

I smiled shaking my head. "Inconsequential. I'm in neither place and you don't know I exist."

"That's tough. Desert Island. What's the point of living without you? Bette Davis or Betty White?"

"Betty White." I leaned forward, unable to resist kissing him. "Small wedding or big?"

"Small. On the beach or in a church?"

"Depends when we get married and where."

"Where do you want? In Forks, probably?"

I laughed softly. "Actually, I don't know. I always thought if I got married in Forks I'd have to wear a raincoat over my wedding dress because I'd want to get married outdoors." I sighed, kissing him again. "Playdough or silly putty?"

"Playdough. You can eat it. You know what I noticed first about you was?"

"Hm?"

"Your... attitude, I guess you could say. Bella you're so much your own. You never let anyone else dictate what you should do or who you should be. That's an extraordinary thing now a-days."

I blushed, my eyes casting downward. If only he knew this attitude adjustment was a last ditch effort at self preservation and a fairly recently development. "You admired my aggressiveness and I admired your physique." I said, puffing out a laugh.

"Well, I _do_ take care of myself. And maybe if I had a personality, you would've noticed that too."

My eyes moved up quickly to his, as one hand slid around to the back of his neck. "You're kidding right? Edward, you're one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met. You're incredible and I'm lucky you asked me to be yours forever."

He shook his head, whispering, "I'm lucky you said yes."

I shook my head to argue, pressing my lips against his. "Like I would have said no to Prince Charming." I murmured, smiling against his lips. He grinned, "Like I said, I have no white horse. Nor have I armor, Love."

"That's okay, you have a volvo and that's made of metal so it kills 2 birds with 1 stone." I teased, before pressing my mouth against his again.

We laid in bed for hours caressing and kissing each other, not speaking a word. We didn't need to; everything that was important and needed to be said, had been.

I was his and he was mine - forever.

**EPOV**

Bella felt so fragile in my arms, it was ridiculous. She had bruises and scrapes over nearly every surface of her skin, and it almost killed me to look at her like that, especially when I should have been there to save her. Despite what she'd said about being accident prone, I couldn't shake the intense guilt I felt. It was my fault. I should have been there. Bella fell asleep a little while later, so I was able to shift myself out of bed to go get food. She would probably be hungry when she woke up, and I didn't want to sit there and watch her be broken. It hurt too much.

I scribbled out a quick note, then took the elevator downstairs to walk to a deli I had seen when Bella and I were out the other day. I had just hit the side walk when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. "Hello?" I asked, distractedly.

"Teds?" Ben's voice echoed through the line. "What's up dude? You pop the question?"

I laughed, crossing the street. "Yeah, I did. She said yes."

"FUCKAWESOME!" He wailed, and the smile that spread across my face was irreversible. "And you did it sober? I don't have to get you a ticket to New Zealand?"

"No, we're good."

"So where is Bellista? Can I talk to her?"

I sighed, tugging at my hair. "Ben, she a... well... Bella had an accident."

"Fuck, Teds She died, didn't she? Fuck. Fucking fucking fuck. How the fuck did--"

"No, whoa whoa... easy," I interrupted. I didn't want to think of Bella lifeless... cold. "She's fine. She back in bed resting. I'm just running out to grab some dinner."

He puffed out a cough, "Shit, Teds! Don't scare me like that! I'm glad she's okay!"

"Yeah, me too."

"So you getting hitched out there?" He asked, going back to the original subject.

"Maybe. Depends on how Bella's feeling Monday." I leaned up against the wall of the deli, shoving my hand into my pocket.

"Alice will kill you."

"It's a risk I'd be willing to take."

Ben was silent for a minute, "You're a lucky guy, Edward. I hope you realize that."

I grinned to myself. "I know. She's my everything."

"Fuck, dude. Why're you being such a chick?"

I laughed, "I can't help it. I love the girl."

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see you when you get home?"

"Yeah, Ben. Sounds good."

I clicked off and headed into the deli to order dinner, still the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. Bella was my everything, and she would be mine forever. Nothing would take her from me. I ordered our food and was back out the door in about a half an hour. I was walking down the street when I felt my phone go off again.

"Hello?"

"Edward?" Bella's voice sounded panicked and worried. I immediately tensed.

"Bella? Baby? What's wrong? You okay?" My mind was in overdrive. She fell, she tripped, she was bleeding. Any number of things could've happened to her.

"Nothing," she said, letting out a deep breath. "I just had this dream that you left for good and when I woke up.. and then you weren't..." She took another deep breath. "Will you be home soon?"

I sighed, "Yeah, baby. I'm right around the corner. I just went for dinner. Bella, I'm here. Okay?"

"Okay." She laughed a little, "Sorry for going spastic on you."

I laughed, walking into the lobby of our hotel. "It's okay. I want you to be okay. I'm glad you called, Sleeping Beauty."

She laughed softly into the phone. "Am not." She countered, then paused. "I was thinking... we could call Alice back with the news when you get back. She left me a pretty long voice mail wanting to know 'how I was.'" I could hear her grinning through the phone, but I cringed at the thought of telling Alice.

"Oh, yeah. Alice. Baby, I"ll be up in a second okay?"

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

I flipped my phone closed and hopped into the elevator, watching as it took it's time to get up to our floor. I opened our door and found Bella sitting on the couch with the TV on. I dropped the food on the coffee table, then leaned down to kiss her. "Hey, baby."

Bella looked up at me and smiled. "Hi love."

"How're you feeling?"

She took in a breath then nodded. "Fine... better. How're you?"

I laughed, nuzzling my nose against hers. "Fine. Are you hungry? Will you eat with me?"

Bella pressed her lips quickly to mine. "Mhm. I'm starving. Whatcha get?"

"Just some turkey sandwiches." I kissed her again and straightened up to go grab a couple bottles of water. "There's some chips in there, too."

She moved down onto the floor and began unpacking the bag. "Turkey sandwich with bacon or just plain turkey?"

"Plain. But there's cheese."

"I think I'm gonna crave bacon when I'm pregnant. Heads up." She told me as she opened a bag of chips.

I laughed, sitting down across from her. "Good to know. Hey, we're going down to city hall monday, right?"

She popped a chip into her mouth and nodded. "Yep. Which reminds me!" Bella reached over to grab her phone, and winced slightly which made me tense immediately.

"Baby, you okay? Reminds you of what?"

She beamed over at me as she put her phone on speaker and held it between us. "Calling Alice."

Oh, God.


	34. Chapter 34

Soooooo, Kellers... how was your halloween?

ummm it was awesome. duh. nothin better than a pov marathon. right right?

Duhhhhhhh. SMeyer (the owner) wouldn't know though, since she doesn't collab.

That's her bad for not thinking of it. BD woulda been SO much better if she had someone to bounce ideas off of.

Def Def... but hey, reader... leave some reviews? My inbox is lonely :(

Mine too. All I have is spam... and like adds to convert and be Mormon. I wonder if that's from all the google searches on Twi-stuff? :x

Ohhhh, maybe! So... save us from inbox boredom and review!! loves you and thanks :)

* * *

**BPOV**It rang twice before Alice's always cheerful voice filled the space.

"Bella, you better have a good reason for not calling me back!"

"Um... I got engaged and hit by a car?" I offered, looking at Edward. He just shrugged and continued to eat.

"OHMIGODBELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOUGOT... hit by a car?" She screeched, sounding like a confused yet excited puppy.

"Tapped, really. But I'm fine. And... Edward proposed, but I have a sneaking suspicion you may have known." I replied, grinning playfully at Edward who looked at me with a look of complete innocence as he ate his half of the sandwich.

"I knew... a little... of something... or something. What does it look like?" She let out quickly. It was a wonder she didn't give herself a heart attack with all the enthusiasm she was expressing on the phone.

"A solitare." I laughed lightly looking down at the beautiful ring on my left hand. "Tiffany cut, I think?" I continued, peering up at Edward and leaning over to kiss him softly. "It's perfect."

"ooooooooooooo aahhhhhhhhh. We'll have soooooo much fun planning your wedding! We'll look at dresses, and cakes, and flowers, and--"

"Alice we're getting married Monday, here."

"EXCUSE ME? PUT MY STUPID BROTHER IN LAW ON THE PHONE! I AM GOING TO RIP HIS BALLS OFF--"

I laughed. "You're on speaker Alice."

"Edward, I hate you."

He sighed and shrugged aloofly even though he didn't seem to care. "Whatever, Alice." He replied nonchalantly as he cleaned up a bit.

"Why do you hate him?" I asked Alice, glancing at Edward's rear end as he walked to the trash can.

"Becausseeeee, he's gypping me out of planning your wedding-guh." She whined, and I could almost hear her pouting on the other end.

"Gypping you? He promised you could plan our wedding?" I asked turning to him and raising an eyebrow.

"No. It's just implied."

"Hm. Well then that's up to Edward. Do you want to wait so that Alice can plan our wedding?"

He smirked, laughing a little under his breath. "Bella, do you think I want to wait so Alice can plan our wedding?"

"I think you kinda do." I teased.

"Completely. Please, oh please Alice? Will you please plan our wedding." He begged sarcastically, rolling his eyes in my direction.

"No way, you Miserable shitfuck."

Edward just shrugged. "I tried."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes at him. "Alice, I'm sure we'll eventually have some sort of reception in Seattle for all our friends and family. How about if you plan that?"

"Ugh, finneeee. I guess." She groaned. It really seemed like for some reason she was adamant on planning our wedding - regardless of our decision.

"But Alice, can you -- wait!" I gasped turning to Edward. "We can't get married Monday! Your mom... I haven't met your mom!"

He looked and me quizzically and shrugged. "So what?"

"So? Edward what if she HATES me? You can't marry someone your mother hates!" I said animatedly. No, no... no. I heard Alice laughing in the background and I turned to my phone. "What?"

"The chances of Esme hating you are slim to none, Bella." Alice pipped up on the line.

Edward nodded in agreement with his sister-in-law. "And even if she did, I love you. And that's why I'm marrying you."

"No... this is wrong." I stumbled over my words, suddenly very anxious. "Edward, how are we going to get married if we don't even know each others parents??"

"It's very simple, love. We go over there, he says 'do you?' and we say I do. Then you're mine forever." He stated, laughing quietly at my suddenly frazzled state before kissing me softly.

"Awwwwwwwww." Alice's voice rang out. I had completely forgotten she was still on the phone. Edward and his completely distracting lips...

I relaxed immensely just from his touch. I wasn't sure how he did it, but whatever it was it worked. "Okay." I breathed, significantly calmer. "Alice... we um, have to go. Plan the wedding and all that..." I trailed off, tugging at Edward's t-shirt which he quickly removed.

"Yeah, yeah, bye." He said flipping the phone shut quickly.

I turned towards Edward and he helped me slide my shirt off before carrying me over to the couch and laying us down side by side. His touch was tenative, hesitant as one hand slid to the back of my neck and his lips grazed mine lightly. I smiled under his lips and pressed my mouth against his more adamantly. I wanted him, I needed him however much he was comfortable to give considering my state. We laid there for what must have been hours, touching, kissing and exploring each other. I never pushed and neither did he.

It was perfect.

**EPOV**

"Baby, are you gonna wear white?" I asked as we lounged in bed the next morning. Weekends kicked fucking ass. Definitely.

"I hadn't really thought about it. Should I?"

I laughed, kissing the top of her head, "It's up to you love. It doesn't matter to me. Did you bring anything, or should I take you to Lord&Taylor?"

"I have a couple dresses with me here - I could see if any of them are white; I don't exactly remember what I packed. Are you sure we shouldn't wait until we get back home?"

I shrugged, tangling my legs with hers. "It depends. How would you want to do it? I can't have the big extravaganza that Alice would plan."

"No, no. I didn't mean that. I just meant... I really want to meet your mom before we get married. I feel like meeting the parents is a huge step."

I sighed into her hair, "Yeah. We can do that. Either way, love. I get you in the end, right?"

"Mhm."

I kissed her forehead again, and pulled the blanket up over us. "I think we should just stay in bed today. I can pull the TV in here if you want."

"Sounds good. Should we go out for food before we hunker down in bed for the day, though?"

"Room service? Are you hungry?"

"I'm famished. Room service sounds perfect."

I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead before going to the phone and ordering two chicken salad sandwiches. I didn't trust myself to go back into the bedroom where I'd left Bella, because then we'd never get food. Not that I'd mind. I'd rather have Bella any day. The waiter arrived a short while later, so Bella and I settled onto the couch opposite each other.

"What'd you get," She asked, curling her legs beneath her body and turning toward me.

"Chicken Salad." I said, handing her a plate and flipping on the TV. "Anything good, you think?"

She shrugged, "I dunno, Colombo."

I stuck my tongue out at her, and she giggled back at me. Fuck, did I love that girl.

**BPOV**

I picked at my sandwich, glancing at Edward from the corner of my eye as I tried to watch whatever the hell rerun was on TV. His eyes were trained on me and when the show went to commercial I turned to look at him. "What?"

He smiled and shook his head. "I'm trying to figure out what the hell love felt like before I met you."

I grinned, leaning in and placing a quick kiss on his lips. "Pretty sure it didn't feel like this." He shook his head, resting his forehead against mine. "No, definitely not."

We grinned at each other before pulling away as we heard the show return.

I picked out the tomatoes and heard him laugh.

"What?"

"Anti-tomatoes too?" He teased.

"What? No, they just bother me. It's like, are they a fruit or veggie? Technically they're a fruit because they have seeds, but if that's the only criteria for something to be a fruit, then strawberries, and any kind of berry are technically vegetable and that just like throws the entire universe out of whack..."

His eyebrows arched up and he glanced at me quizzically. "The entire universe is thrown off because tomatoes are used as a vegetable?"

"No, it's thrown off because tomatoes are a fruit because they have seeds. So maybe it's that the universe is thrown off because berries aren't vegetables. Think about it..." I said grinning triumphantly.

He chuckled, shaking his head back and forth. "Where the hell did I find you?"

"Whatever, like you have room to talk? I mean racist smurfs, _really_? Like it's not hard enough being little and blue and having terribly high pitched voices? You have to accuse them of racism?" I smirked, unable to hold back the giggle that escaped.

"Hey, I gotta call 'em like I see 'em. I wouldn't want our kids thinking it was okay to discriminate."

"That's very grown up of you. Way to plan ahead for our future children. I'm impressed."

His shoulder shrugged and he took a bite of his sandwich, waiting til he was done before responding. "Gotta keep the cartoons clean. Yogi bear or Baloo?"

"Honestly? I've never seen The Jungle Book. So I have to go with Yogi by default. Jetson's or Flinstones?" I asked curling up to him once we'd finished our sandwiches. His arms wrapped around mine and pulled me in tightly.

"Tough one. Gotta be the Jetson's. Something about the future's kind of cool to me. Ellen or Oprah?"

"Ellen. I choose laughs over sappiness every time. My mouth on your lips or dick?" I asked casually, trying to hide my smirk.

"Not my balls?"

"That's what my tongue's for."

"Hmm. Well, since it' been awhile since your mouth was around my cock, I wouldn't know how to answer that question." He let out an exaggerated breath, and his hand ran down my arm. "We may have to do some research."

I licked my lips before turning around to face him. "Well then, let's take test A." I softly brushed my lips against his once, then back over them sliding my tongue inside his mouth. He let out a soft moan as I pulled away. "How was that?"

"More."

I smiled and tapped his lips with my index finger. "Nope, nope.. more research must be conducted." I answered, trailing my body down his body and finally settling down on the floor between his knees as I unbuttoned his jeans. I looked up at him, smirking - he was already hard.

His dick popped out of his pants. Thank god he hadn't put his boxers back on. "Now, first, because you seemed so concerned about them getting attention..." I murmured as I placed open mouth kisses on his sac, sucking lightly on them. He let out a whoosh of air and I smiled as dragged my tongue across them and up his shaft.

"Any initial comments on test B?" I whispered after placing a kiss on the head of his cock and licking the pre-cum off my lips.

"Uhhhhhhh...."

"I see, inconclusive then. Perhaps further exploration is required." My lips wrapped around his tip as my hand gripped his shaft. My hand began pumping firm and quick strokes as my tongue swirled around his tip and my lips sucked him hard.

"Ung... fuck..." he panted, thrusting his hips up. My lips released his head with a 'pop' and I looked up at him wide eyed. He was staring down at me.

"Still in conclus--"

"Bella, god.. get your mouth around me. That felt fucking amazing..." he moaned. I giggled and nodded, sliding my mouth down his shaft as far as I could take him. He grunted loudly and immediately starting moving his hips. My hand continued to pump the rest of him that I couldn't fit in my mouth. I steadied my breath taking him further and further into my mouth as my tongue massaged the bulging vein that ran down his length. His hand pulled my hair off my neck and matted it all on top of my head as he tightened his grip and thrust himself into my mouth.

"Shit... fuck, Bella.. god your hot little mouth.. mmm. FUCK!" He shouted as my other hand reached down and squeezed his balls. I hummed as I took the final bit of him in my mouth, feeling his tip press against my throat.

"Fuck Bella, I'm gonna fucking... ungh... oh... unnnnnnghh... shit... going to.... shit... cum..." He moaned, pulling my hair harder. I moaned against him and he grunted out a string of profanities. "So fucking close.. where.."

I nuzzled his pubic hair with my nose and massaged his sac with my hands, tugging a little on them. My eyes locked with his and he let out a puff of air, throwing his head back.

"SHIT FUCK BELLLLLLLLLLA!!!" He shouted as his body halted and I felt his hot cum shoot down my throat. My eyes continued to stare at him as the last spurts filled my mouth. I slid him out of my mouth licking my lips of any residual cum before licking him clean.

I moved to straddle his hips when I was done. "So, the verdict?" I asked smiling innocently at him.

"E-either." He said, trying to steady his breathing.

My lips brushed against his cheek. "Good answer."


	35. Chapter 35

Heyyyyy kella kels! Happy sunday!

OMIGOD HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Sup dude?

A whole lotta nothin... except for the GREATNESS we've put together below. You?

Same same. Too bad we don't own, though. SMeyer still does.

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A shit ton of reviews?

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**EPOV**

How the fuck do you respond to that? I didn't have a clue. I pulled her into my chest and kissed the top of her head. "Brad and Jen or Brad and Angelina?"

She laughed into my chest and placed a quick kiss on my collar bone "Team Jen. Angie's a hoe for being the other wo--" She stopped herself short and I held my breath. "I liked Friends better than Tomb Raider. Vanilla or Chocolate?"

I squeezed her tighter and kissed her again. "Chocolate. Paris or Nicole?"

She turned to look up at me. "Do you have a subscription to the Enquirer I should know about before I agree to any of this?" She asked with a grin.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "All of my current pop culture knowledge is the product of my sister. Beatles or Stones?"

She snuggled back into my chest before responding. "Beatles. Doing laundry or Doing dishes?"

"Laundry, obviously. Sex without love or love without sex?"

"Love without sex." She turned to look up at me."Especially if it's our kind."

I laughed, "What other kind is there?"

"The crappy kind."

I sighed, nodding. "We've had too much of the crappy kind, huh?"

"I don't want to think about the time before I loved you. It's insignificant."

I looked at her. "It is?"

She crawled into my lap and put her head on my shoulder. "Mhm. It's like my life was a fuzzy black and white movie and then I met you and you turned my world into technicolor. I love that about you, how just being near you makes my life instantly better."

I laughed, rolling my eyes a little and running my hand over her back. "Bella, I don't think you realize that you've done the exact same thing for me. My life is nothing without you in it."

She thought for a second before pulling my hand into her lap and playing with my fingers. "I think we should let Alice plan our wedding."

I rested my head on top of hers. "Are you prepared for that? I mean, do you fully understand what that entails?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine as long as we're both there to simmer her down when necessary."

I shook my head against her skin. "Love, you don't understand. Alice has two settings: high and higher. Simmer isn't in her vocabulary."

"Well maybe we can get her down to medium-high. I want to be able to enjoy planning _some _of our wedding together."

I sighed again, kissing up her neck. "I hope I even get to see you. Alice will be going ape shit over this."

"You better be there. I'll need your opinion on things."

I pulled my face from her neck. "That's what you think. This hasn't even started yet, and Alice is already planning. Love, I'm not even sure you'll get a say."

"I'll talk to her. I want this to be our wedding. Not Alice's wedding with us as the stars."

"I love you, Bella."

"Love you too."

I sighed, kissing her softly. I suppose that if I had that, I could make it through anything. Even Alice planning my wedding.

**BPOV**"So what's Rose like? I didn't really see her much at the BBQ."

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Rose? She's intimidating, blonde, but sweet as pie once she decides she likes you."

I nodded against his shoulder, feeling his other arm squeeze me tighter. "Are her and Alice close?"

"Close-ish. They get along, but Alice is closer to you than Rose. I've never seen her so excited about anyone except Jasper."

I smiled against him. "She's really fun. Maybe the four of us could go out again to celebrate once we're back home?"

His lips pressed against my forehead softly. "Okay, Love." I sighed, adjusting myself against him and tensing slightly as the residual soreness ran through my body. "Where did you say the Tylenol was?"

He lifted me gently off his lap and onto the cushion beside him, walking down the hall and coming back a few minutes with a few pills in his hand. "Can you handle all four?" I shook my head and grabbed two from his palm and went to reach for the glass of water on the coffee table. I winced again at the strain I felt and Edward grabbed the water handing it to me as I leaned back against the sofa. I downed the pills and smiled up at him. "Thanks. Hopefully these two will do the job."

He dropped the extra two in his hand on the coffee table and peered down at me. "Okay. You want me to take you to back to bed?" I looked up at him and tugged on his wrist. "Not really. Can we just lay down here?"

He twisted his lips, mulling it over for a moment before answering. "You should probably sleep though."

"I can sleep here." I argued, jutting my bottom lip out, pouting and looked at him through my eyelashes.

He sighed and rounded the corner of the sofa walking towards the bedroom. "You have to lie down. It won't work, otherwise." He shouted to me as he walked through the french doors into the bedroom area.

I sat up a bit more, and slowly moved to stand. "Edward I'm not a complete invalid, I don't need to sleep all the time. You said it yourself, the doc said it was only bruising; I hardly think that translates to 'never leave the bed'."

He nodded, seeming to agree. "Right. So lie down, and I'll put the blanket over you."

"Edward..." I said half pleadingly half sternly. "This isn't necessary."

"I know." He grinned in a tight lipped half smile.

I was completely confused. Maybe the Tylenol kicked in faster than I thought? "So why do I need to lay down then?"

"Because you got hit by a car and you need to heal." He chuckled, as if the answer was clear as day.

"But it's only bruising. I'm _fine_." I retorted, completely exasperated at this back and forth. "Can't we go outside? Maybe fresh air would help me heal faster."

His eyebrows shot quickly into his hairline. "Bella, can you even walk?" He asked making it sound like a rhetorical question.

"Yes," I snipped back. "Just... slowly."

He stretched out his arms, cocking his head to the side. "Or I could carry you?"

I felt my face soften and I walked right into his arms, wrapping mine around him in as tight of a hug as I could. "No, no. I can walk. But I appreciate the offer." I murmured, placing a kiss to the side of his neck.

He pushed his face into my shoulder, rubbing his cheek stubble against my neck, murmuring "That's my job, Mrs. Cullen."

I couldn't help the gigantic smile the spread over my lips at the sound of him calling me his Mrs. "Okay, a compromise. If I do as you say and lay in bed resting all day, can we go outside and go for a walk tomorrow?"

He nodded against me, squeezing me tighter. "Mhm."

"Okay, then I'll take up your offer of being carried... to bed." I replied, laughing softly against his skin.

He scooped me up as if I weighed less than a plate of lettuce and carried me towards the bedroom, laying me over the covers and pointing. "Under. Do you want the TV?"

I shook my head, tugging on his arm. "No, just you."

"Me, what?" He asked, smiling.

"You. I just want you." I said, pouting as I patted the spot next to me, feeling my eyes start to get a little heavy as I crawled under the blankets.

He moved around the foot of the bed and laid down beside me, over the blankets. "You have me, love. You always have me." He whispered, moving to wrap his arms around me and position my head against his shoulder.

I nuzzled his collar bone with my cheek and wrapped one arm around his chest as tightly as I could. "Favorite kind of sandwich?"

His fingers traced lightly over my back, drawing patterns. "Turkey. Cary Grant or Clark Gable?"

"Cary Grant. Still water or sparkling?"

He laughed against me, placing a kiss on top of my head. "Tap? What's the option for tap? You should sleep, baby."

I laughed against him and shook my head. "No. I'm just really relaxed, I'm not tired yet." I let out a quiet yawn, cursing myself for the timing. "I promise I'll sleep when I'm tired."

"Okay, love. Hey, you never told me what kind of engagement gift you'd like." He stated, kissing my scalp again.

"Like I said, I thought the ring was the gift."

"And like I said, this is more of a thanks for agreeing to bear my children thing."

I laughed quietly against his shoulder and shook my head. "It's not a thanks for agreeing to be your wife and love you forever thing?"

"_That's_ what the ring was for." He clarified, tilting his head so his cheek pressed into my hair.

"Isn't that what you're asking me about?"

"No, I'm buying you an engagement gift because you inadvertently agreed to bear my children. And I heard that that hurts, and that I'm the one who has to do that to you. I'd like to build up a credit, so that I'm never in the cold with you."

I laughed against him. "Just promise me we can have at least one child with your eyes and we can call it even."

"Maybe." He said, laughing quietly as his arms pulled me closer to his chest.

I felt my brain fighting to stay awake and I nuzzled my face into the curve of his neck, kissing his skin and letting my lips linger. "Should we do a big meet up with our parents and just get everyone together at once, or do a one parent each meet up?"

"My mom would love to meet your parents. She'd have a blast."

"She would?"

"Definitely. She loves meeting people."

I hummed against his neck and yawned once more before giving in and letting sleep take over.

**EPOV**

After I was sure that Bella was sound asleep, I put her back down on the pillow and headed into the living room to let her sleep. She needed to rest and I needed to stop hovering. I sat on the sofa, with the TV going softly and tapping my cell phone against my knee. I should call. It had been nagging me for a while. I should call. It was the right thing to do.

It rang twice. "Hey, little brother."

I shrunk into myself. "Hi Jasper."

He laughed into the phone, just like he used to do when we were little. "What's going on?"

I pushed my fingers into my thigh. "Nothing. I'm in New York--"

"With Bella, I know. Alice said you guys got engaged. Congratulations."

I furrowed my brow. "Really?"

"Yeah, dipshit. You did the right thing. You... came through in the end, I suppose."

I sighed, "Can you just try and be nicer to Bella? Please?"

His voice dropped, and I heard the door shut behind him. "It was never about Bella, and you know that. You did what you were supposed to do, and I'm glad you finally did."

"Are you still talking to her?"

It was his turn to sigh. "Less and less. I forgot how... exasperating she can be."

I nodded, "Yeah. It looks like we both did better, though."

I heard the door open again, "Yeah, Definitely. Bella's awesome, Edward. She's good for you, and I think you made the right choice."

I smiled, "Thanks. Kiss Max for me."

He laughed again, "Okay. We'll see you when you get back?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

I hung up and flung my phone onto the opposite end of the couch, and laid back. Evidently, everything could go your way after all.

**BPOV**I woke up to the faint sound of the TV and the clicking of typing. I blindly reached out for Edward, but felt nothing but cold bed sheets. I groaned quietly; waking up without Edward was not fun. I sat up gingerly and let out a deep breath when I had hoisted myself up against the headboard. The soreness was nothing more than a dull ache, like when you have the flu; the main issue was the stiffness. I was definitely going to need another nap soon. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and slowly padded out to the living room, following the sounds.

"Mmm Edward?" I asked groggily, moving towards him and wrapping my arms around his neck from behind when I reached where he was perched on the sofa. He had my laptop opened and lowered his head to kiss my arm that was tucked under his chin.

"How're you feeling, love?"

"Better." I sighed, resting my chin on top of his head. "What're you doin?"

He sighed, shrugging. "Just checking my email, but they can wait. Are you hungry? Do you need anything?" He asked, sounding drained.

I shook my head against his. "No, but what time and date is it? All these sporadic naps have me confused."

"It's sunday, love and it's around seven. You were only really out for and hour and a half." He chuckled.

"Okay, good. I thought it was still Sunday." I replied somewhat in a daze. I had been sleeping far too much; it was starting to mess with my head. I let him lift me up and pull me onto his lap. "What've you been up to?"

"Not too much. Just watching TV and stuff, waiting for you to get up." He mumbled against my forehead, planting a firm kiss to my temple.

"Mmm. Well I'm up now." I replied, resting my head on his shoulder. "I know we said we weren't going to go out til tomorrow, but do you think we could just walk around the hotel? My body is stiff; I think it just needs to move around a bit."

"Yeah, let's go." He said, quickly lifting me up and helping me to stand without wobbling.

I laughed a little, limping a little towards the bedroom to slide on a pair of flats. "That took no convincing at all. Any chance we could leave the building?"

"mmm, Maybe, depends on what it's doing outside. It looked like rain earlier."

"Okay, maybe I can work with." I said, walking back out towards the hallway where he was waiting with the door open. His arm wrapped around my waist, flushing me against his side as we moved out towards the hall. We were walking up and around the big U of the hallway curve when I broke away, grabbing his hand and trying to carry all my weight by myself. Our pace slowed considerably but he didn't seem to mind. He pulsed his hand around mine a couple of times as we walked in comfortable silence. As we began to backtrack toward the elevators, I finally broke the silence.

"I'm thinking about calling my mom to tell her about us."

"Oh?"

"Yea. She and I don't really talk much; I'm not even sure how much I've told her about James and I. I want at least _someone _in my family to know and I know if I told Em or my dad before they had a chance to size you up themselves, you wouldn't stand a chance once you did meet them." The elevator dinged and we stepped inside. "My mom's kind of... odd, but she means well and she definitely wouldn't tell my dad or brother."

He shrugged apathetically. "Whatever you think is best, love."

"Would you be okay with that? I mean, there's a good chance if I tell her she's going to want to talk to you."

"I figured as much." He replied laughing lightly reaching for my hand.

We stepped out of the elevator and walked around the lobby, slowly meandering over towards the upscale bar/lounge on the ground floor. "Can we grab a drink?" I asked nodding over towards the darkened area.

He arched an eyebrow, looking at me questioningly. "Sure."

I smiled and led him inside towards a cozy table for two. A female waiter with slicked back hair in a tight french twist walked over to our table soon after. "Good evening. Are you here for dinner or drinks only?"

"Drinks, please. Jack and Coke. Bella?"

"Margarita on the rocks - no salt." I replied, glancing up at the waitress. She scribbled down the order and smiled at both of us. "Great, I'll get those right over." She spun on her heels and headed for the bar. Edward's hand reached over the table for mine, turning it over and playing with the underside of my fingers.

"This is... kind of like a date, right?" I grinned, looking into his vibrant green eyes. "Not even three dates and you've put a ring on my finger. I think that's a world record."

He laughed, shaking his head. "I think it's been more than three. We had the very first one, where we met, then your apartment... the next night, I believe?"

I quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "Oh, so you're counting the first time we met as one? Even though at the time it was supposed to be a completely un-date."

He grinned back, looking at me pointedly. "Well, we did have a meal. And I did pay for the both of us, so yeah, it counts. Then there was.... hmm....New York, part one? But we must've hand one before that."

The waitress brought over our drinks and left a drink menu on our table in case we wanted anything else. We each thanked her politely before I turned my attention back to him. "Oh, and my aparment doesn't count. That was more an extension of date #1, since evidently we're calling the un-date a date." I teased, sipping my margarita.

"No, the next night; when you made spaghetti and meatballs." He said, shaking his head and clarifying.

"Oh. That counts? Are we just counting every time we eat a meal and have sex then?" I said, laughing as I took another sip of my drink.

"Love, when haven't we had sex? It's like breathing. We fuck like monkeys." He laughed, looking at me as if challenging me to disagree.

"We've gone without... I think." I said, furrowing my brow trying to think of when. I smiled broadly. "Like when you were sick!"

His eyes immediately turned towards the bar, looking pained. "That week. With Ben."

"That too!" I said a bit too enthusiastically, squeezing his hand. "See, not _always _like monkeys." I tugged on his hand, and he glanced back towards me. "Though, I have to say that my favorite parts have been more of the good times we've had so far and that usually involves the great sex." I said, a playful grin spread across my face.

He turned back to look at me, his lips up in a half grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I confirmed, nodding my head. "I really don't think you get how anti-sex I was before you. I mean, it was no big deal to go weeks or months. Frankly, I preferred it." I looked down at our hands and laced my fingers with his. "But you light my body on fire. I can't get enough of you." I admitted, my voice soft as I focused my eyes at our joined hands.

"Well, I love you Bella. And... it was the same for me. I'd never actually... felt wanted, the way you make me feel wanted." He smiled, pulsing his hand around mine. "It's nice."

I smiled shyly, biting my lower lip. I motioned with my other hand towards his drink. "Drink up."

He lifted his drink, tipping it towards me before taking a few big sips.

I laughed and sipped my margarita watching him, through the edge of my glass.

"What're you doing?"

"Nothing." I said with a smile as I put my glass down.

"Me either." He mimicked, smirking at me. The twinkle was back in his eye and I couldn't help but feel relieved.

I laughed a little and raised my hand towards the waitress signaling for her to bring another round. "So, does a spring wedding sound good or something sooner?"

"Sooner. What the fuck is the point of a long engagement?" He asked, polishing off his drink and grinning at me.

"Point. Christmas then? Or are we eloping in Vegas since it's closer to Seattle than New York is?" I teased, as the waitress set two fresh glasses between us.

His drink had barely been set on the table before he lifted it, tiping it towards me agian and downing it in one go. Wow, okay then. "Vegas works."

I laughed, swirling the skinny straw around in my new margarita not drinking it just yet. "So tell me something, anything... something completely and utterly random about Edward Cullen." I said leaning into the table towards him.

He glanced to the side, blinking quickly before turning his gaze back to me."I didn't get head until I was 22."

My hand shot to my mouth and I laughed quietly. "What?!" I asked in utter disbelief. "But, you had been with Tanya for at least a year before then!" I said, shaking my head and sipping on my drink.

He nodded. "Yup. Second anniversary. It was my gift. She hated it, and honestly? Until I met you I wasn't a big fan either."

"And now?" I purred, grinning and leaning in closer to him.

"I fucking love it. I finally understand what my brother used to say about it. It's pretty fucking awesome, Bella, I wish you could feel it."

"I can." I giggled. "From the opposite end."

He shook his hand, raising his hand to stop me from interrupting. "No. I don't think you get it. It's like... like... Bella, pretend you have a dick okay? It's like having a dick and squeezing it in this warm, wet tube over and over. It's fucking amazing." He said seriously.

I laughed, and noticed the waitress walking over with another round. "Um, we didn't order these." I said, looking up at her. "Oh, they're on the house. I saw your ring - congratulations." She replied warmly. "I can take these back if you'd like." She added glancing from me to Edward.

"What do you think? Do you want another round?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders toward him.

He lifted his current drink making sure every drop was gone before reaching for the glass in the waitresses hand and downed half of it on the spot. "Thanks. That was peachy-keen."

I laughed, looking up at the waitress. "Really, thank you." She chuckled and nodded. "Sure thing." I turned back towards Edward. "So, anything else you'd like to fess up?" I replied, with a smirk, running my foot up and down his calf.

"I like the spot just under your tits best. Did you know you have a birthmark there? And that I have the same one?"

I laughed, shaking my head and sipping on my 2nd drink, not even daring to touch my third. "I did not know that."

"Yup, wanna see?" He asked, lifting his shirt up to his abdomen before I could respond.

"Maybe once we're upstairs." I paused to finish my second drink before looking up at him. "Do you wanna head out of here?" I asked looking down to his half finished 3rd drink.

He slumped down in his seat and pouted. "Why? We're good. Bella, make them play baseball."

"Where?" I asked turning around to look for a TV.

"I dunno. I just want it. Aren't they playing tonight? Bella, watch baseball with me tonight. No Bravo. Pretend Bravo doesn't exist."

I smiled and moved to stand, walking over to his side of the table and stretching out my hand. "Okay, let's go see which games are on."

He took my hand without hesitation, shaking his head and still looking around the room - I assumed in search of a TV. "But it should be here, Bella. What kind of bar doesn't have a TV? Does that make sense to you? And still, no Bravo."

"I promise no Bravo, only ESPN." I said sliding his arm around me as he stood up, leaning against me a bit too much and making me wobble. Once I'd steadied us I turned to the waitress shouting our room number and she gave a quick nod in confirmation before we slowly made our way to the elevators. "Did I ever tell you my step-dad plays professional baseball?" I asked, after I'd pushed the UP button.

"Did I ever tell you that that's fucking awesome?"

We stepped into the vacant elevator and I hit our floor, watching the doors closed as we leaned against the wall. "Yea, he plays for Tampa. Remind me to ask my mom for tickets when we call her."

"Bella, I will build you a fucking post it fountain to remind you. I love you. Your eyes are brown. And did you know that there's a little yellow around your iris?"He asked, pulling away from me and plopping down to sit on the elevator floor.

I laughed, looking up at the elevator numbers as the ding went off signaling we had arrived. "Come on baby, this is us." I replied reaching out for him as the doors reopened.

He stood up quickly, wobbling a bit and leaning against the elevator wall before pushing off. "Bella, are we there yet? Did the room always be this far? Did you notice how the stripe in the wall paper matches the ceiling? Do you think they did that on purpose?" He asked as we walked down the silent hallway towards the room.

I laughed, wrapping my arm around him this time and nodding. "I think the room got further away and that the matching designs are all coincidental." We slowly made our way to our room and I reached into his back pocket grabbing the key and sliding it through the lock, pushing the door open. I slid my hand back into his back pocket replacing it and kissing his jaw. "We're home."

"Home home home homey home home home. Bella, it's like a song. Let's fill some condoms with water and throw them off the balcony." He suggested jogging over to the sliding glass doors that led to the terrace.

I shut the door, racing after him, laughing and pulling him back by his arm. "Let's watch baseball. If we fill the condoms, what are you going to wear to fuck me tomorrow?"

"Bareback. You want babies, remember?" He stated matter of factly. Before I knew what was happening he was turning around and cupping my face in his hands staring right into my eyes. "Fuck, you're hot."

I laughed, shaking my head and smiling up at him. "And you're drunk and wanted to wait to have babies. You wanted some selfish years before I loved anyone but you, remember?"

"I don't think you see how fucking hot you are." He continued, shaking his head and looking down. "Fuck, I'm an idiot."

I couldn't help but laugh again. "Why are you an idiot Edward?"

"Because I should have just fucking dumped Tanya that first night. I could have had so much more of this if I had only known. Fuck, Bella, I love you." He said pushing his lips to mine. He tasted like rum and sugar.

I smiled kissing him back, and pulling away to shake my head. "Edward you're not an idiot for not dumping your significant other of 7 years for someone you just met." I grabbed his hand leading him over to the couch. "Plus, what does it matter if we get a lifetime of this from here on out?"

"Do you wanna see my birthmark?"

"Mhm." I replied turning to face him on the couch.

He struggled to pull his shirt off, getting it twisted and stuck at his collar before finally yanking it off. "fucking... thing... There." He said, looking down and pointing to the spot under his right nipple. Sure enough he was right, we did have a similar marking. "There. Yours matches. Well, yours is darker, but it's in whatever the nice name for your boob crack is."

"Cleavage?" I ventured, pulling off my shirt as well, wincing as I noticed the stiffness in my shoulder as I stretched my arms above my head. I unhitched my bra and tossed it onto the table. "I think yours is sexier."

His hand covered my breasts moving it out of the way and kissing where the brown dot was. "why?" He asked

"Cuz it's on you. And you are the sexiest person out there." I sighed as I felt his lips come into contact with my skin.

"I told you, you're hot. And I love you." He murmured, his lips not leaving my skin as his nose nuzzled the side of my breast.

"I love you too..." I trailed off feeling his tongue dart out as his mouth opened around my birthmark. "So, baseball?" I asked scooting back away from him. If I wasn't careful I'd be taking advantage of a drunk Edward and feel nothing but regret about it the next morning. I pulled the quilt that was draped over the sofa around my torso, smiling over at him.

"Do you know what I like best about our birthmark?" He asked, knitting his eyebrows together.

"What?"

"It's almost like. This is kind of stupid so don't laugh, Kay? It's almost like you and me got like... put together before we even knew each other. So I guess it's like telling us that we should be together. Because we match." He stated, the last part almost coming out as a question. His eyes darted from the me to the floor and back, as if he were anxious to how I'd take his idea.

He was too cute for his own good sometimes. I smiled, moving over him, wrapping our shoulders with the quilt and cupping his jaw with my hand. "That makes perfect sense to me." I murmured pressing my lips against his.

"You're warm" He whispered against the side of my mouth.

I nodded. "Do you want me to move? Am I too warm?"

"No." He said, pushing his head against my shoulder for emphasis. "I'm cold."

I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing his back with my hands. I kissed his temple, whispering against him. "Come on let's lay down on the couch okay? We can get under a bunch of blankets and snuggle to stay warm while watching baseball."

"Okay."

I shifted off of him, and went into the bedroom to get another blanket, stripping down my jeans so I'd be comfortable. I walked back over to Edward who was holding onto the remote for dear life. I leaned down and smiled, grabbing the remote as I changed it to ESPN and tossed the remote on the ground gently. I twisted my body, so I was facing him and covered us both with the thicker blanket from the bedroom. My arms wrapped around him as my legs moved to tangle between his. I looked up at him smiling sweetly. "I'm glad you asked me to marry you."

"I'm glad you said yes."

I nuzzled my forehead against the side of his neck, pulling myself impossibly closer against him so every part of us was touching the other. I rubbed my foot up and down his calf trying to get him warmer and hummed against his skin. "Who's playing?" I mumbled into his skin.

His hands roamed lazily across my back."Yankees." He said, sounding distracted by the game.

"Mmm." I hummed against his neck. Unable to resist, I began sucking lightly on the curve where his neck met his shoulder.

"Bella, if you wanna have sex you have to go get a condom."

I laughed against him. "Oh, so now you're sober enough where the bareback idea doesn't apply?" I retorted, grinning against him.

"I like us like this. I do. I think it's nice. A baby would be nice, too, but I dunno. I like the way it happened last time. I want it to be like the baby was actually created through love, and not just because we were 'trying for one'. That doesn't sound like fun to me." He stated seriously, planting a firm kiss against my skin.

"Who says we're trying now and I just don't like the way you feel inside me without a condom, better?" I whispered into his ear, nipping at his earlobe.

"No one, I guess."

I laughed a little and sighed against him, snuggling against him shutting my eyes. "We probably shouldn't, you've been drinking. I'd hate to take advantage of you."

He shrugged as if it didn't matter either way. "Love you."

"Love you too." I replied, yawning and curling as close to him as I could get.

This was real. This was happening. He and I were finally getting our happily ever after.


	36. Chapter 36

heyyyyyyyyy Kella kels! How's your tuesday?

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Yours?

Ehh, can't complain. PS did you know that SMeyer still owns?

Yea... So, howz bout we get right to it? We like reviews, leave one!

Please and thank you!

* * *

**EPOV**

I took Bella to bed a short while later, when my own eyes began drooping. I kept Bella tightly to my side all night, and when I woke up the next morning, I was thrilled that this was how I was going to spend the rest of my life. I loved, absolutely loved the thought of waking up to Bella every single day. It made the future seem not so grim after all. I smiled sleepily into her hair, shifting my legs against hers. I felt her lips press against my chest, then she nuzzled the same spot with her nose.

"Morning, Love." I whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"Hey," She murmured, flattening her cheek to my skin.

"What time do you have to be at work?" I asked, running my hands over her back.

"I don't." Bella yawned and rolled over to stretch. "We finalized the deal with Macy's on Friday. I'm officially on Edward-time for the next 4 days."

I pushed my hips into hers, "Good. I don't think I want to give you up today."

She sighed, wrapping her legs around me loosely. "Oh really?"

I pulled her leg up around my hip. "Really."

She smiled and gave a small laugh. "Guess you aren't hungover then?"

"No. I wasn't that bad." I didn't think so. I just really, really wanted to watch baseball. Weird, huh?

She kept smiling up at me, "So... my body's a lot less sore today. Thanks for taking care of me."

I kissed her, "Baby, I love you. What else would I do?"

"I know, but thank you anyway." She said, moving her hand to cup the back of my neck and scratching her fingers lazily through my hair.

"No problem, Love." I kissed her again, letting my lips linger over hers. "MTV or Vh1?"

"Vh1. Cold bath or lukewarm shower?"

"Shower. Going down on you or fucking you?"

"Fucking me." She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and pushed her hips into mine. "Speaking of which... so when do you think you'll be okay with doing that again?"

I pulled back a little, and I immediately saw the bruise that ran across her abdomen. I let out a heavy sigh. "Soon." I kissed her forehead. "I'd like you back to your nice shade of pale."

She rolled her eyes, "But that could take days." she pouted, "I promise, I'm fine."

I nuzzled her nose with mine. "Baby, you got hit by a car."

"And you saved me and now all I have are scrapes and bruises." She looked at me pointedly. "Am I really going to have to beg you?"

I pushed her over onto her back and kissed my way to her stomach. I looked up at her and ran my fingers lightly over the spot. She winced slightly. "I don't like this."

"Don't like what?"

I ran my fingers over her skin again, "This."

She shivered a little under my touch. "It'll get better."

I kissed the spot lightly, "I know."

Her eyes fluttered shut as she let out a contented sigh. "Do it again. That felt good."

I leaned back in, sucking gently on her skin. "Like that?"

"Mhm..." She confirmed, then whimpered a little when I repeated the action. "God I've missed your mouth on me."

I laughed into her skin, moving lower. "not as much as I've missed yours."

"Less... talking. More... of that." She said in a sultry whisper, arching her lips up to meet my lips.

"I don't know," I murmured. I could feel the heat from her core as I stopped just above it. "I'm not sure you want this."

She laughed, "Edward I never figured you for a stupid man, but if you can't tell from where you're laying that I need you perhaps you need your head examined."

I smiled into her skin, then lifted my head to look up at her. "Okay, let's do that instead." I smirked up at her.

"You better be talking about the head of your penis and by examine, you mean buried inside me otherwise we're speaking completely different languages." She said with a knowing smirk.

I kissed my way back up her body, then hovered over her. "I didn't know you were bilingual."

She smiled at me and her fingers once again tangled themselves in my hair. "Duh Edward."

I leaned in to kiss her. "Condoms?"

Bella sighed in defeat. "We're out I think."

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't risk... it again. It wasn't fair to the both of us. I kissed her cheeks softly, "I'm sorry, love."

She looked to the side, then back at me. "Can't we get more? I mean, I refuse to go a second day without being able to sleep with my fiance."

I kissed her again, "Yes, love." I couldn't deny Bella anything.

She giggled and pulled me down agaisnt her small frame, wrapping me as tightly as she could in her arms. "Getting stung by a bee or bitten by a spider?"

"Stung. I hate spiders. The Nanny or Reba?"

"Reba. December 1st or November 15th?"

"Why?" I asked.

She shrugged, "Was thinking about a date for our wedding. Those two sounded good."

"The first then. I like that number better. I love you, Bella."

"Mmk. Love you too." She kissed me gently before rolling over to grab her cell off of the night stand. "Did you want me to see about getting tickets to the baseball game?"

I tugged her back to my chest, "Not now. Let's just sit a while more."

She dropped her phone to the ground, and came back over to me. "Okay." I lifted myslef over her and she smiled up at me lazily. "I love knowing this is forever, for real."

I leaned down to kiss her gently. "Of course, love. You've had me before I knew you."

"And how's that?" She asked, smiling against my lips.

I kissed her again, "Because you were meant for me."

Bella laughed quietly, "I love that you seemed so certain of us from the beginning."

"It's different with you," I whispered into her hair, "Everything is different with you. It all just fits. Neither one of us has made a concession and resented the other for it. That doesn't happen."

She looked up at me through a thick fringe of eye lashes. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head, looking away from her. "Bella, I'd give you whatever you wanted. No questions asked. And I would never regret it or second guess myself. I can't tell you how many times I'd regret doing something for... other people." I didn't want to say her name. I didn't really even want to think of her.

"You're lucky that I'm easy to please." she grinned, "Because all I want is you."

I leaned down to kiss her gently. "You have me."

**BPOV**A few hours later we had finally managed to get dressed and walk outside to Starbucks for some late-morning caffeine. We grabbed a couple of pastries with our coffees and headed back to the hotel room.

"Sometimes I feel like we're still hiding." I admitted as we plopped down on the sofa and I curled up next to him. He reached over and grabbed the remote resting it on his thigh.

"Why?" He asked, turning to look at me quizzically.

"Because we spend so much time away from civilization in our own bubble." I replied, sighing and smiling against him as I rested my head on his shoulder. "Oh!" I said, bolting upright and looking around for my purse. He looked at me quizzically and I laughed, digging my phone out of my bag. "My mom. I want to call her and tell her about us."

"Oh."

"Or... not." I said, my face falling a little. Was the engagement supposed to stay a secret from our parents?

"Wait, why not?" He asked, sounding confused.

"It just sounded like that wasn't okay with you."

He grinned, shaking his head. "It's okay with me. I was just saying oh."

I nodded and flipped open my phone. It suddenly dawned on me that I couldn't remember the last time I had talked to my mom. It rang twice before she picked up.

"Hello?" Her always-sweet sounding voice echoed on the line.

"Mom?"

I heard her take in a sharp breath in surprise. "Is that my little Bella? OH SWEETHEART! How are you?"

I laughed into the phone turning to look at Edward and smiling. "I'm great. How're you?"

"Fine. It's wonderful to hear your voice. What're you up to?"

I took a breath. "Actually I'm in New York right now. I just finished a project for work." I paused, biting my lip. "How's Phil?"

"He's doing great, sweetheart, I'll tell him you asked. Did your project go well?"

"It did. We actually finished earlier than expected." I took a breath grabbing Edward's hand. "Actually, I have bigger news than just my project for work. That's, uh, kinda why I'm calling." I stuttered out.

"What's going on, Honey?" She asked, her voice dropping and dripping with concern.

"Mom, um... I'm engaged." I said, unable to hide the smile that spread over my lips as I squeezed Edward's hand and he mimicked my expression.

She screamed so loudly I had to pull the phone away for a moment as her voice shrieked on the other end. "BELLA! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL SOONER? WHO IS HE? DO I KNOW HIM?"

I laughed, putting the phone back to my ear, leaning back against Edward and sighing. "No mom, you don't know him. His name is Edward. And I didn't call because... well it just happened, kind of."

"Oh, Bella... sweetheart. I'm so happy for you. Is he cute?" She asked, laughing happily.

I grinned looking up at him. "Yeah mom he's really hot." I heard her laugh into the phone before it went silent. "Mom?" I asked after a beat of silence.

"Yeah, hunny. Sorry... how long did you say you'll be in New York?"

"I didn't, but we'll be here til Thursday."

"We'll? You mean he's there with you??" She asked excitedly. "Perfect! Phil starts a series against the Yankees on Friday. I'll just come up a few days earlier. How does dinner Wednesday work for you two?"

Shit. I wasn't necessarily ready for a meet n' greet with mom and Edward, but the more I thought about it the more it made me smile. "Um... lemme ask him." I covered the receiver with my hand.

"Hey, um quick really really forward question?" I asked him nervously.

"What's up, love?"

"Do you wanna have dinner with my mom on Wednesday?" I whispered.

He chuckled and leaned in to kiss me quickly. "Sure."

I smiled and kissed him again just for good measure before returning to my mom. "Yea mom we're good to go for Wednesday."

"Great! I can't wait to see you and meet him and see the ring! Have you told your father yet?" I felt my body stiffen and I coughed. "Uh, no. I haven't. And I haven't told Em yet either." Shit shit shit. I completely forgot that she still talked to my brother. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything. I'd like to be the one to tell them."

"Mhm. Of course baby, I understand." I could practically feel her wink at me through the phone. "So what's the situation? Pregnant? Rushed into it?" She pushed as I heard her bite into something crunchy - a carrot perhaps?

I felt the blood drain from my face. "The latter." I sighed, "How'd you know?"

"For you to tell me before your brother or father, there had to be a reason you wanted to ease your way into telling the family." I let out a huff and ran my hand through my hair. "Yeah, I guess."

"Baby, are you happy?" She asked in a soothing tone. I nodded even though she couldn't see. "Yeah mom, I'm really happy."

"Then that's all that matters. Plus you're engaged, it's not like you ran off and got married without telling anyone." She said, laughing. No, but how freaked out would she be if she knew that had a cab not gotten in our way, we would have been?

We wrapped up the conversation soon after and I shut my phone, tossing it haphazardly onto my purse and turning to face Edward. "Well that went well."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. She asked me if you knocked me up and that's why I hadn't told my dad." I said, laughing as I crawled into his lap.

His lips attached to my neck as he murmured, "Not yet." Before sucking softly on my skin.

I continued to chuckle as I molded against him. "We forgot to get condoms while we were out." I murmured against his temple, pressing a lingering kiss against it.

"I'll go out for them later. Let's take a nap." He suggested, rubbing my back soothingly.

"But we slept all night." I argued, pouting. "The sex is already dwindling and we haven't even said 'I do' yet."

He laughed, pressing his lips into my hair. "That just means I owe you an entire day in bed, love."

"Well, when does that start then?" I asked tersely, grinning against his lips.

"Mmmm, Tomorrow?"

I sat up straight, looking him square in the eye. "Wait, you mean we're not fucking at all today?"

"Baby, it can start at midnight if you want. I just want you to rest a little more." He said, looking at me wide eyed and pouting. "Please?"

I huffed and stood up. "Fine but then I'm going to need to actually wear pjs or I'll try raping you in my sleep." I sighed dramatically walking over towards the bedroom and pulling out a pair of pj shorts and a tshirt.

He jumped up grabbing my wrist and turning me towards him. "Baby, I love you. Do you want me to go get condoms now?"

I stripped down to just my underwear and looked at him, covering my breasts with my forearm. "Whatever you want."

He moved closer to me, moving my arms to my sides before kissing me slowly, showing that this whole not sleeping together thing might just be as hard for him as it was for me. "Will you nap while I'm gone?"

I made an 'x' over my heart with my free hand. "Promise."

He kissed me again, rubbing his nose against mine. "I'll be back soon."

I nodded and made my way to the bed and under the covers. I must have been more exhausted than I thought because I felt my eyes droop and my brain slow down before my head had even hit the pillow.

I woke up to Edward's, or who I at least hoped were Edward's, lips dragging across my collar bone. "Mmm Jared Leto..." I moaned softly, trying to fight back the giggles.

I felt his mouth pull back from my skin. "Seriously?"

My eyes opened and I smiled widely. "What?"

"You know what. And that's just mean." He said, rolling his eyes and smirking.

My legs wrapped around his torso pulling him closer. "You have condoms?"

"No, Baby. I just walked around the block and started sucking on your neck cause I wanna drink your blood." He sighed, puffing out a laugh. "Get with it." I laughed against him. "Well I dunno. You're still fully clothed. Maybe every store in New York ran out of condoms."

He pulled away, sitting up on his heels and smiling. "Bella, how creepy would it be if you woke up to a naked man sucking on your neck in the middle of the day?"

My eyes shot up to the ceiling and I thought about it for a split second. "If the naked man sucking my neck was you, not at all."

He moved to sit beside me on the bed, glancing down at me. "Well, I still think it'd be weird. But I guess that's just me."

"So if you woke up to me hovering over you naked and kissing you, you'd be creeped out?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

His arms reached out for me and pulled me against him. "No, that'd be sexy as hell. Naked men are just... funny and awkward."

I laughed, rolling on top of him and grinding against his jeans. "Not you. You naked is just..." my voice trailed off as I nibbled against his neck.

"I love you. More than you know. Don't ever forget that, okay?" He said kissing me lazily.

"I won't." I sighed, rubbing my nose against his. "Plus, even if I did somehow forget, I'll have you beside me every day of forever to remind me, right?"

He sighed and nodded. "Right."

My lips pushed against his again, and I felt him sigh against me. I pulled up, looking down at him. "You okay?"

"You're here. I'm better than okay." He answered, brushing the hair out of my eyes and tucking it behind my ear.

I smiled, placing my hands on either side of his face and kissing him passionately as I rocked my hips back and forth against his. "I will always need you." I whispered as I pulled my lips from his, sucking in air we desperately needed.

He pushed his nose against mine rubbing against it. "I need you. That's all."

"Good." I sighed against him. I rolled out of his lap and wiggled out of my clothes. "But before we rip open the box of condoms can we nap a little more? My body's a little sore and I sleep better with your body wrapped around mine." I conceded.

"Told you." He said grinning smugly.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah yea... just get naked already. This," I said motioning to his clothing, "is unacceptable if you're in bed with me."

He stood up, shaking his head and smiling. "One day you're gonna get tired of this, you know."

I watched him undress; my eyes roamed over his body, blatantly checking him out. "Tired of what?"

"Me being in bed naked with you." He said laughing as he caught my eye and I flushed from being caught ogling. Oh who cares, he was going to be my husband.

"Nope," I sighed, biting my lip as I gave him the twice over look and already feeling the warmth pool between my legs. "Never going to tire of it."

He cralwed back into bed pulling me tightly against him and sighing. "Someday. Like when we're old and my ass is wrinkly and I don't have abs."

"Nope, my tastes will change as we get older. When we're 60 I'll think guys with abs are gross and guys with a pudge and wrinkles are as hot as James Dean." I grinned, nuzzling my face into the curve of his neck. "You'll always be the hottest guy in the room no matter if we're 30 or 80."

"I doubt it, but as long as you think so, right?" He said letting out a slow exhale.

I laughed against his neck and nipped at it. "Exactly." I readjusted myself, wrapping my limbs around him possessively. I loved that he just let me sprawl out around him and didn't seem to mind in the least. His arms tightened around me, drawing me even closer. One of his hands laid flat against the middle of my back, while the other drifted down, cupping my ass. I smiled and let out a breath against him.

My lips moved against his neck lazily, and I felt him moan quietly; the vibrations rumbling through his throat just before I finally gave into sleep.

**EPOV**

I got up after a little while, once I was sure Bella had fallen asleep. She slept like a rock, no matter where I was. It didn't make a difference. I pulled my boxers back on and went out into the living room to watch some TV and give Bella the room to spread out. It was about two hours later when I heard her stir.

"Edward...?" I heard her call, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"What's up, Baby?"

"You left." She said sadly, standing in front of me like a little kid.

I chuckled a little to myself. "I'm right here, love."

"I mean..." She rubbed her eyes and made her way over to the couch. "When I woke up. You weren't there." She plopped down next to me. "Not cool."

I tugged her over onto my chest and kissed her forehead. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine but I started tossing around and wrestling with blankets a bit ago. I finally gave up. I blame you, for leaving."

I pushed my nose into her hair, "I didn't want to bother you, love. I didn't want to crowd you."

"Edward, I cling to you like a kid to a tire swing when we fall asleep, and you're worried about crowding _me_?"

I loved it when she said she needed me. "Yeah, kinda."

She sighed, and sunggled herself tighter to my chest. "I don't get why. You coulda just said you needed space. I would have moved."

I shook my head, "Bella, how does me saying that I wanted you to have space translate to me wanting space?"

"Because what would give you the impression that I wanted space? I cling to you like a monkey clings to... anything."

I shrugged. "I dunno, I just... don't want you to get annoyed with me, I guess." I said, mumbling a little.

She gave a small, tired laugh. "Edward, I want you... always. You should probably know that in case I hadn't made it obvious." She shook her head against my shoulder. "I hate waking up without you."

I sighed, and leaned my cheek on the top of her head. "Never again, love. I promise. As long as it's possible, I'll be there."

She through her legs over my waist possesivly. "Good. Now that that's cleared up, what are the chances your future wife can get fed before she pounces on you?"

I shook my head and kissed her gently. "Very good, love. What do you feel like?"

"Mmm..." She tought about it for a moment. "I dunno. What are you in the mood for?"

I shook my head. "I'm not really hungry. Whatever you want, love."

"We didn't eat today. You need sustenance so that you don't pass out when I fuck you six ways to Sunday later."

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "We ate today, silly goose."

"We did?" She pulled her eye brows together as she tried to remember. "All this napping has me confused." She leaned back and away from me, squinting. "Who are you again?"

I let out a heavy sigh, and raised an eye brow at her. "We went for coffee and had breakfast. And if you aren't sure who I am, maybe I should--"

"Remind me?" She aske with a grin.

"I was gonna say go, and pretend to be offended." I said, smirking down at her.

She shook her head and wrapped one arm around my neck. "I like my idea better." She murmured before kissing me.

"Mhm. What're we eating? Do you want me to order, or do you want to go down to the bar?"

"If we had breakfast, then I'm good. I just want you."

I shook my head, "Nice try love. I'm not going anywhere. You can have me whenever."

"Hmm... then I choose now." She flicked her eyes up to mine, watching me through her lashes. "Please?"

I pretended to think about it for a minute. "I dunno, Bella..."

She gave me a pretty little pout and bat her lashes at me. "Please? I don't think we've christened this couch since we arrived for the 2nd trip."

I laughed a little, "Oh really? I think you just want in my pants."

"Well look who's Captain Obvious all of a sudden." She smirked at me.

I fake yawned and stretched underneath her. "Hmmm, maybe love. I'm kinda tired."

Bella nodded and shift off of me, heading back to the bedroom. "Okay, you sleep. I'm gonna go out and relieve the tension then."

I laughed and shook my head. "Bella, I was kidding. If you aren't naked in my lap in two seconds, you'll really have to pay."

"Oh really?" She said, coming back into the room wearing one of my tee shirts.

I nodded, still smirking. "Yup."

"Hm." She stopped to think, "Well then I'd like to see what you've got because I don't believe you." She teased.

"I have... stuff."

She laughed disbelievingly and headed back to the bedroom. "Uh huh..."

"Fine, but your missing out." I said, shoving my hand into my boxers. "And I'm gonna stain the couch."

"That's okay, your hand still won't feel as good as being buried in me!" She tossed the tee shirt onto the sofa from around the corner.

I grinned, fisting my cock. "No, it doesn't. But you don't seem to be willing to help me, so..."

"Someone said they were tired. I was giving you some _space_." She laughed.

I pouted at her, "You're hurting my feelings."

"And you're teasing me. It's been more than 2 seconds Edward, and your threat has been defused." She informed me.

I shrugged, "Fine. Watch out, Baby."

"Mhm... right." She said, rolling her eyes amusedly at me.

I started moving my hand faster. Fuck. "Bella... seriously..."

Her eyes went wide once she realized what I was doing and she lunged at me. I pressed my mouth urgently to hers, and brought my free hand up to cup the back of her neck as her tongue swiped at my lips. I pulled it into my mouth gently and sucked on it, taking in as much of Bella as I could. I broke away breathlessly and reached for a condom. I slipped it on, despite her body nearly flush to mine. "Go for it, Baby." I whispered against her lips.

She smirked, and gave me a quick kiss before sinking down on my cock. We both groaned as I filled and stretched her because every time still felt like the first. She was still so tight and always so wet for me, it was amazing. Bella gave herself a second to adjust to my intrusion before she began bouncing up and down on my cock. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and her eyes stayed tightly shut as she moved. I let my hand fall to her hip and I began to guide her movements faster and faster as I thrust up into her.

Soon enough, I felt her walls start to grip my cock more tightly and I knew she was close. My hand slid up her body and I cupped her breast, kneading it carefully. "Bella... Baby... fuck, I need you to cum. Please, Baby... fucking cum all over my cock."

"Eh-- Edward... fuck.... fuck... Edward!" She moaned as she tossed her head back and came all over me. Her walls were trembling around my cock as I thrust into her twice more and came into the condom. She kept moving slowly over me, milking my cock and pulling everything out of me. Finally, she collapsed on my chest.

"I love you, Bella. Don't you ever forget it."


	37. Chapter 37

Omg...what?? Who??? When??? Huh??? HOLY CRAP KEL, IS THIS A SECRETS UPDATE????

Mhmm... and in record time for us considering i just got back from a third world country!

True true! Say haiiiiiii to everyone while you're at it...we haven't seen them in a while. Much like SMeyer, who owns all that twilight shizzzzzzz

HI EVERYONE!!!!!!!! So Bellerz... do you think that maybe we should like... post more than once if we get some awesome reviews? Like.. say, more than 25?

Combined? Tots. Let's make it happen ladies (and gents) and we'll see what we can do :)

Sounds good. We've missed writing, this fic and all of you. So review and let us know you haven't forgotten about Secrets, mmk? Thanks :D

* * *

**BPOV**Edward and I spent the rest of Monday and well into Tuesday locked up in the suite, running out only for meals and condoms. The bruises had started fading quickly and by Tuesday morning they were almost all yellow instead of deep purple, with exception to the large bruise on my lower abdomen. Seeing that the healing process was going along speedily, turned Edward back into being insatiable, and I wasn't complaining; it was like a honeymoon for getting engaged.

"Who knew you had a fetish for seeing me heal?" I gasped, trying to catch my breath as he helped me stand upright from where I had been wrapped around him as he fucked me against the sliding glass door that led to the balcony.

"I like it when you're healthy." He shrugged pressing his forehead firmly against my shoulder and panting.

I laughed, shaking my head and kissing his sweaty shoulder. "I don't get you sometimes." I reached for his hand as I guided us into the bathroom for a quick shower so we wouldn't stink up the sheets. So far, we'd been pretty creative in having sex everywhere except for in bed.

Of course, the quick shower turned into shower sex and by the time we were done in shower the hot water was starting to go. As we shut off the faucet, Edward reached for a towel, wrapping me up snuggly, rubbing his hands up and down my sides to warm me up before grabbing a towel for himself. "That was close, we almost had to take a cold shower."

"Like that would have stopped us?" I said, raising an eyebrow, challenging him to argue. He puffed out a laugh and shook his head kissing my hairline. "Come on it's naptime." I followed behind him towards the bed, dropping my towel and crawling under the sheets. "You know, you managed to find the perfect quick-bruise-fix remedy. Continuous sex with naps during recovery time."

He laughed, shaking his head. "It's called resting, love."

"I think the sex is the part that helps the most though." I stated knowingly. His arms wrapped around me as I scooted closer to him and threw one of my legs over both of his.

He rolled his eyes and I could see him fighting a smile. "Yeah, you would."

I laughed quietly at his response. "I can't help it if my fiancee is a sex god and my body needs you all the time, now can I?" I asked, tilting my head up to look at him.

"No, I suppose not. But I need you... just as much. You know that, right?" He asked before placing a soft kiss on the side of my mouth.

"If I didn't before, after the past 24 hours, I definitely do now." He smiled and kissed my forehead softly, rubbing the back of my neck with one hand. "Sleep for a bit then I'll go back to showing you." He murmured sleepily.

I'd just fallen asleep when I heard my phone go off loudly. I groaned and blinked my eyes a few times, getting the fog out of them. I sat up, feeling Edward stir and readjust to how I was sitting. I leaned over just barely being able to reach my phone on the nightstand.

"Hello?" I asked, my mouth thick with sleep.

"Bella sweetie, it's mom."

"Hi mom." I murmured slightly annoyed that she'd woken me up from my downtime.

"Did I wake you?"

"Kinda, I was just resting. Why, what's up?"

"Oh, I'm sorry hun. I didn't think you'd be asleep at 1 in the afternoon." So an apology without really apologizing. I sighed and yawned. "It's fine mom. What's up?"

"I was just letting you know that I took an earlier flight to JFK and I'll be there tonight instead. Did you and Edward have time to grab dinner this evening?"

I sighed again and glanced over at Edward who was still sleeping peacefully. His arms were wrapped tightly around his pillow and I gently brushed his hair from his forehead. "Yeah mom, tonight's fine. Say 8 o'clock? We can have dinner at our hotel." She agreed and I gave her the details of where we were staying.

We hung up soon after and I moved one of Edward's arms from the pillow that I was quickly becoming jealous of and laid it over my waist. He inched me closer immediately, sliding down and burying his face in my shoulder, taking a breath.

A little over an hour later I felt his lips trailing open mouth kisses across my collar bone and I smiled. "Morning sunshine." I murmured, my mouth full of cotton.

"Hello, Love. How're you feelng?"

"Better." I sighed as his lips continued their descent down the valley between my breasts. "How're you?"

He sighed, pushing his face into the side of my left boob. "Fine. But I'm hungry."

I laughed, "so grab some food."

I felt his lips turn down against my skin, pouting as he murmured against me. "You come too."

"Mmk, but nothing too heavy. We're having dinner with my mom tonight."

"We are?" He asked, looking up at me with knitted brows.

"Mhm." I began, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. "She called earlier. She's getting in today instead of tomorrow. We're meeting her downstairs at the restaurant at 8."

"Oh. Well, it's lunch time. During which we can eat lunch food. We can get sandwiches from that deli around the corner. Or I'll take you out somewhere? What would you like love?" He asked, kissing me before I could respond. I sighed as he pulled back, giving me a chance to reply.

"Let's keep it low key, since we're going out tonight. Sandwiches sound good."

"Okay. Are you coming with me?"

I nodded, kissing his frowning lips quickly. "Of course. We could both use the fresh air."

"Good. Let's go then. We could probably use some more condoms, too." He said, pulling me up and sighing against me. God I loved him; I loved how loved he made me feel. It was completely unbelievable and I'd know I'd never find anything like this ever again. I wouldn't ever want to. Edward was everything to me.

We got dressed quickly, my stomach growling at the thought of food. Apparently all the sex was working up my appitite. We made it down to the lobby in record time. His arm protectively wrapped around my shoulders and his lips pressed into my hair.

It was beautiful outside.

We walked around a bit, taking our time to get to the deli. Inside of the restaurant, was fairly empty considering it was that awkward time between being too late for lunch but too early for dinner. We ordered our sandwiches and waited off to the side for them. His arms never left my body as he stood behind me, his face pushed into the curve of my neck as he alternated between mumbling "I love you" and "I can't believe I really get you forever." I pulled him closer to me and hummed in agreement.

To anyone outside of our bubble, I'm sure we were disgusting. But who cared about anyone outside of our world? I sure as hell didn't.

"What should I wear tonight?" I asked, as we continued to wait.

He pulled back a bit, giving me the twice over and smiling before kissing my forehead. "You could probably get away with like... normal clothes. The restaurant isn't that fancy."

"Like jeans and one of your t-shirts?" I smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you wanted." He said noncommitally.

I laughed, and leaned back against him. "I think we should dress up _a little." _I suggested. "I mean... this is kind of a big deal. You meeting my parents, well one of them."

"You asked what you should wear, not what I would." He said, laughing a little and grinning.

"Well that's why I asked. I'm not going to dress up if you aren't. And I don't want to be in ratty jeans if you're going to be in a suit."

"You wanna match?" He teased, scrunching up his nose. I was waiting for him to stick out his tongue or start singing a taunting jingle about us being one of _those _couples.

I laughed a little, kissing him quickly. "So what if I do?"

He pulled me by my waist back against him, murming into my scalp, "We should be in a catalogue."

I laughed as they called our number and we went up to grab our sandwiches. "Can we eat in the park or something? I don't really want to go back to the hotel just yet."

"Sure thing."

"Where to?" I asked grabbing his free hand.

"We can just find a bench or something if you want."

"I kinda wanna lay in the grass. It's so nice out."

"Okay." He agreed easily, placing a kiss against my temple.

I smiled, leaning against him and slipping my arm around his waist so I could be closer. "Do you think it'll always be like this?" I asked as we made our way towards Central Park.

"I hope so." He murmured pressing his lips into my hair and pulling me across the street so we could make the light.

We walked in comfortable silence into Central Park and it took a few minutes to find a spot that wasn't taken or in the shade or near a dog's bathroom. As we sank into our grassy spot under the bright sun, I laid back agains his chest. "So when's your next shoot?"

"I don't have one." He breathed, pushing his face into my hair.

"So theoretically we could do a pre-wedding honeymoon somewhere, then get married?" I said, questioningly.

I felt him laugh against me and squeeze my waist tighter. "I suppose. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Where would you want to go?"

"I don't know. I wasn't even aware that this was an option." He guffawed softly.

"Me either." I laughed with him. "But you said it was. Plus, don't you think it'd be a good idea to decompress before dealing with Alice planning our wedding?"

"Yeah. I never thought of our wedding as being stressful, though."

"All those decisions... Alice..." I laughed a little, scratching his stomach over his shirt. "I could see it being a bit overwhelming."

I felt him nod against me. "Maybe. But you don't have to have Alice."

"Yeah but she wants to. And honestly, without her I wouldn't know what to do. I've been in one wedding - Angela's. That's it... I wouldn't even know where to start."

He shrugged and loosening his grip on my waist. "But I thought we could do it together."

"You would want to?" I asked, turning to look up at him in complete shock.

"Well, yeah. I mean, unless you don't want me to or whatever."

I laughed, scooting up to kiss him. "Of course I would. I just thought you wouldn't want to deal with it."

"Why not? What do you mean?" He asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Well don't most guys not want to deal with the specifics? I figured you'd want to take a stand back approach to it, that's all." I shrugged. "I guess I misread the situation, that's all."

"If you want me there, I'll be there." He confirmed, nodding and kissing me quickly.

I grinned. "See! You don't want to do it. You only want to do it if I want you to want to." I replied, grinning triumphantly.

"I know." He nodded. " But as long as I get you in the end, I don't really care about the in between. Except maybe the food."

I continued to giggle, shaking my head. "Edward if you don't want to, don't say you do just for my benefit."

"No, you don't understand. I want to do it _with you._ I want to be with you while we do this, unless I'll be in your way."

I rolled my eyes. How could he think he could ever be in the way. I kissed him softly. "You could never be in the way."

He nodded and I wasn't sure if he believed me or not, but he gave me a response: "Okay."

I grinned and kissed him again before sitting up and grabbing our sandwiches. "So back to the pre-honeymoon idea. I think we should still do it. It'd be fun to go on a mini vacation, don't you think? We could use some of the money I got in the bonus to do a really nice trip."

He shook his head. "I'm paying."

I groaned, and turned back to look at him as I unwrapped my sandwich. "No. I am."

"Nuh uh. You're my wife." He said, poking my side.

"Not yet." I replied, squirming against his prod. "So that means I get to pay."

"I have to prepare you for like... the spoiling of Bella that is to come. And this will be the first time."

"The spoiling? Edward I get you. That's all I want."

"Mhm. And this is one of the perks." He said nodding as if this was common knowledge and a universal truth.

"No." I replied sternly.

"Yes." He said adamantly, kissing the pout I was currently sporting.

I couldn't help the smile that broke out over my lips as his touched mine. I put my sandwich beside me as I slid over him, deepening the kiss. I lowered my upper body as he laid back down. I pulled away slightly as my face hovered over his. "No." I whispered.

His eyes were flickering with flecks of dark green around his pupils as he looked up at me. "You kiss good, but it's still a yes."

I grinned and pressed my lips against his heatedly, moaning into his mouth and moving my hands up to tug on his hair. His hands slid to my hips gripping them tightly. I pushed myself down against the growing erection I could feel underneath me and pulled my face back slowly. "No."

"Yes." He said grunting as he moved against my hips, not loosening his grip.

"Edward..." I whimpered as my lips descended along his jaw and down his neck. "Please, baby. Please..." My lips latched onto his pulse point sucking it lightly.

"What Bella? Tell me what you want?" He mumbled, beginning his own assault on my senses.

"I want..." I murmured against his skin. "I want you to let me pay for our vacation." I replied, moving my lips back to his neck.

His lips didn't stop moving over my exposed flesh as he whispered, "Not gonna happen."

"Then we're not going and I'll be sad." I argued, pulling back and looking at him, pouting.

His fingers dug into my hips and he pulled me impossibly closer. "Why not? How come I can't pay?"

"Because I can afford to, and I want to do this for us."

"But I want you to save your money, and not waste it on me." He stated softly, knitting his brows together in defiance.

"What am I saving it for?"

He shrugged aloofly. "I dunno. I want you to have it though."

"For what? My money is your money. We're a family."

He grinned broadly, as if I'd just let him win the argument. "Which means I get to pay from my half of OUR money!"

I pouted again. "Just let me do this... please?"

"It really means that much to you?" He asked, sighing.

"It does." I replied with a nod.

"Fine." He said with a heavy sigh, and a discrete eyeroll.

I ignored the later movement and beamed, kissing him quickly. "Where to then?"

"Mmm, I dunno. Maybe we could just hop down to Mexico."

"Wherever you want fiancee." I sighed, laying down flat against him, not moving my arms from around his neck.

He poked my side and I flinched. "I think you should have an opinion, since you're paying, wife."

"I just want somewhere warm and beachy where you and I can roll around naked for a week."

"You want to get sand up your ass... and mine?" He laughed, crinkling his nose and looking at me with disgust.

I laughed too, kissing the tip of his nose. "Well, you see my future husband, they have these things called blankets... you lay them under you when you're at the beach so you don't get sand in crevices."

"So we're gonna get this huge blanket and spread it over the beach all so that we can roll around naked on it."

I nodded decisively. "Yep, pretty much. And have sex on it."

"Hmm. That's a lotta blanket."

"Well we don't _have _to. I mean I could wear a swim suit and we could not have sex." I suggested, sitting up and shrugging as I discretely rocked my hips down against his pelvic region.

He laughed, the sound deeper than usual - as if what I had proposed was completely insane. "Yeah, because that's an option."

"I'm just saying. You didn't seem too keen on it. We could take it off the table." I smirked, pressing harder against his growing erection.

"Yeah, cause I hate anything that involves you on my cock." He joked, laughing a bit to himself.

"Knew it." I grinned sliding off him, and sitting beside him reaching for my sandwich. I felt his eyes follow my movements and I turned to him, raising a brow. "What?"

"You left me with wood." He answered in a tone that suggested I should _know _what I had done.

"You said you hated anything that involves me on your dick. I didn't want to continue to do something you weren't interested in doing." I replied, looking back over my shoulder at him as I took a bite of my lunch.

His eyes narrowed and he looked as if he were one comment away from a scowl. "I'm kindda mad at you right now."

I put down my sandwich and turned to face him fully. "For what?"

"Because my cock is about to launch off of my body and you left me."

My body hovered over his and my hand slid down to palm his shaft through his pants. "I'm sorry baby." I whispered planting soft kisses against his lips.

He groaned, thrusting his hips against my hand as I continued to rub him in firm strokes. "You should be. You're the one who did this to me after all." He said, his breath short as his lips pushed against mine quickly.

"Do you think you can make it back to the hotel? I really want to wrap my lips around your cock and we don't have anything to cover me with, otherwise I'd suggest doing it here." I murmured before kissing him again.

He shook his head in confirmation and took a deep breath. "Yeah, but I have to... adjust."

I nodded and sat up grabbing our sandwiches while he coughed and did what he needed to do. He stood up taking the sandwiches from me with one hand and reaching for my hand with his other. I smiled and we made our way quickly back to the hotel. As we waited for the elevator I couldn't help it... we were so close. "You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to tasting your cum." I whispered in his ear, leaving a quick kiss just below his earlobe.

He turned to look at me, his eyes dark with lust and hooded with need. He needed me. And I would give him everything.

We completely lucked out and had the elevator to ourselves. My mouth was on his in a second and he dropped our sandwiches to the ground before wrapping both arms around me tightly.

"I fucking... fuck, I love you." He muttered before pressing his lips against mine again, this time a bit roughly.

I moaned into his mouth. I just... I needed him. It had been far too long. We stumbled out of the elevator, leaving lunch inside as he cupped my ass and carried us down the hall. I leaned against the wall beside the door as he dropped one hand to try and find the keycard. Our lips didn't break away for a second, as I spun us around. It was frantic, and I had no idea where it had come from but my body was on fire. "I need to taste you." I mumbled against his swollen lips as my hand found his zipper and pulled it down, unbuttoning the single object before shoving my hand down his boxers and squeezing his velvety soft erection. It pulsed in my hand as I pumped his shaft quickly a few times.

His hand move behind him, trying to grip the wall as he panted. "Fuck."

I smiled, moving my face to his neck. "Can I? Can I suck you off right here in this hall? Please baby. Tell me I can." I panted as my hand continued to move up and down against him.

He grunted quietly, his hot breath against my skin turning me on even more, as he stuttered out, "A-are you sure."

"Mhm. I want you to fuck my mouth while I'm on my knees right here. Will you do that? Please Edward... I need you, so much." I moaned softly against his neck before sucking on it lightly.

"Fuck." He whispered, pushing himself against me.

I grinned, taking that as a yes before dropping to my knees. I didn't hesitate this time, taking his tip between my lips and sucking the precum that had collected, right from his tip's slit into my waiting mouth. He grunted and thrust his hips against my face, forcing me to take more of him in my mouth. I pumped the exposed part of his shaft in my hand in a hard fast motion while easing more and more of him into my mouth. I loved his taste. I loved the way his cock tensed in my mouth; I loved knowing I could please him. His hand shot into my hair gripping it tightly as his hips moved against me and he fucked my mouth just like I'd asked. I hummed against him and I heard his head hit the wall as he threw it back. I laughed a little and the vibrations from my giggle made him groan. He tried pushing my face further down onto him and I let out a slow steady breath through my nose as I took him all the way. I moved all the way up removing him completely. "Edward." I moaned. His eyes shot open and he looked down at me. "Wh-what are you doing?"

I smiled. "I"m going to stuff your cock all the way down my throat and then I want you to cum. But never stop looking at me, okay?" I instructed. He sucked in a breath as I took him all the way in my mouth and felt his tip brush the back of my throat. The entire time, his eyes didn't leave mine and he grunted. His hips moved against me twice more, slow but forceful before he let out a strangled cry of my name and pulled on my hair letting his release go and drip down my throat. I sucked as hard as I could, milking his dick with my mouth, pumping him as I slowly slid him out. I licked him clean before tucking him back in his boxers and jeans. "Was that okay?" I asked, my cheeks probably as flushed as his were as he continued to try steadying his breath.

His back slid down against the wall, as he stared at me as if I had two heads."Are you kidding?"

I glanced at him sideways. "That was a legit question, yea." I laughed, lightly.

"Of course that was fucking okay." He said, running a hand through his hair and leaning in to kiss me lazily.

"Okay. Good. I wasn't sure... how you'd feel with me giving you instructions like that." I mumbled.

He kissed my left cheek, whispering "I don't fucking care." before he leaned over and kissed the other side.

I laughed. "Well I like trying new stuff... so I figure out what gets you to cum fastest." I grinned, kissing him again.

He scrunched up his face and gave me a quick peck on the nose. "It's gross, huh?"

I smirked, hovering my lips over his. "No, I love making you cum. Especially when you're fucking me and you push extra hard so I can feel you twitch and cum inside me." I sighed. "I need to get on the pill, like... yesterday."

He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "Okay."

We stood up, and I pulled the keycard from the front of my jeans as we walked inside. His arms slid around my waist easily as we clumsily made our way toward the bedroom area. "We have, about... 4 hours before we have to start getting ready. What did you want to do til then?"

"I think we'll think of something." He grinned knowingly.

I laughed, shaking my head. "I think we should test your recovery time. What do you think?" I asked, pulling him towards me by the collar of his shirt.

He pushed his hard on against me, murming gravely, "Let's go."

**EPOV**

I pushed Bella down on to the bed and pushed my jeans down quickly. "Bella... fuck... that top needs to come off."

She sat up a little and tossed off her shirt and bra. "Better?" She grinned.

"Yeah," I replied. I fell on top of her and kissed my way up from between her breasts to her lips. "Where'd we leave the condoms?"

"No condoms Edward... please." She begged.

I pulled away a little. "Bella..."

"Edward…" She mimicked.

"I...I don't think that's a good idea."

"Fine." She said, pushing me off of her and reaching for her shirt.

I tugged her back to me. "Wait, where're you going? I didn't say no."

"You said that wasn't a good idea. Which means more or less, no." She said harshly, throwing her shirt over her head. "I take your fucking cock down my throat with no protection, but what you don't trust us enough, or me enough to fuck me without one? So what if we get pregnant, that wouldn't be the WORST thing in the world, at least I don't think so…" She said, scooting off the bed.

Okay, what? "I don't either, but Bella do you want to risk having it not happen? Or having a miscarriage right now? Do you really want to do this now?" We hadn't talked about this at all, and it felt like this time... this moment meant we were trying.

"Thanks Edward, so what? You think that all I can do is have fake pregnacies or miscarriages? Or what, you WANT me to have a miscarriage?"

Okay... seriously what the hell is going on? "Bella, I'm just wondering if you're ready for those things right now. We could conceive a completely healthy baby, who's born and pink and chubby. Are you ready for that? Do you really want that, especially now?"

"What, why are you saying it like that? _Especially now_?"

"Because we're getting married, and doing a million other things."

"Whatever Edward. If you're not ready for kids then just say it." She shook her head, looking around the room. "You're a fucking asshole though. Because you could have just been honest from the beginning. After everything... you're still lying to me." She said, twisting her engagement ring around her finger.

"I'm not saying that, and what the fuck are you talking about?" She didn't know _anything._

"You don't want kids with me. That's what I'm hearing. I'm hearing that you don't want them, you don't want to fuck me without a condom because you don't want them. Despite saying otherwise. Either that and you do want them, you just think I'm dirty and _that's _why you don't want to have sex with me without a condom."

Oh my God. Where the hell was this coming from? I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. "What the hell are you saying? We've done it without a condom before; what about all those times?"

"Exactly! So what makes this time _any _different? You were perfectly--" She paused and I felt her stiffen from across the room. "Have you had sex with Tanya since we last..."

I looked at her disbelievingly. "You are not serious right now, I know you aren't. When the fuck would I have slept with Tanya, Bella? When? All the nights I spent with you the last three weeks?"

"You did go home to her. You did! UGH! EDWARD! You're a fucking asshole!" She shook her head, then winced a little, throwing a hoodie over her head. "You're probably going to fucking cheat on me too once we get married." She said, walking to the door. It fucking killed to hear the pain in her voice.

"Bella, where the hell is this all coming from?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

She spun around, her hand still on the door, and her voice trembling. "Edward, have you been with Tanya since you and I started hooking up... and, became more than just a one night thing."

I looked down at my hands. "Just once. The first time you came out here."

She blanched and her face fell. "Right after... I told you I loved you. You went home and fucked her?"

Shit. "Bella, I--"

She shook hear head, cutting me off. "No. Just stop. You were so hopelessly in love with me and knew I was with you that you ran home and fucked her. Right after." She paused for a second and I felt like an asshole. I was one. I just couldn't believe I'd let myself hurt her like this. "I'm gonna go for a walk or something. If I'm not back by the time you need to leave for dinner, just go without me and I'll meet you down there. The reservation is under Cullen." She said, sounding completely broken.

I got up and went over to her slowly. "Bella, stay. Don't go."

"And do what? Have you in one room and me in another like two kids that can't get along? I need air; I need to think."

"But it's not... it's not what you think it was, and this whole thing is getting blown out of proportion. Don't... don't go, okay?"

"It's not how I think it was?" She blinked up at me. "You came out here. I said I'm in love with you, you said it back. Then you flew back to Seattle and had sex with Tanya. What did I misinterpret?" She asked, almost looking through me.

Well, when you put it like that. "That I didn't want it. That I was thinking of you the entire time. That I regretted it, completely."

"So what... she just fell onto your hard dick while you were masturbating to images of me?" She asked coldly, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"No, Bella..." I started, but I couldn't think of anything to make this better other than to say: "I'm sorry."

"Did you push her off? Did you try to stop her? Did you in any way indicate you didn't want it?" She pressed.

"I fought in the beginning... it was just easier to let her do it. I didn't... I didn't come."

"Well Jesus Edward," She sighed, rolling her eyes. "That makes everything better." She paused, considering what to say next. "So now that we're engaged, when you cheat on me is this what you're going to tell the other woman, when you admit that you and I had sex?"She clenched her jaw, shaking her head."I can't fucking believe you." She said, turning around and walking out.

Fuck.

I slumped against the wall and banged my head on it a little bit.

What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

I got in the shower once I collected myself from the floor, and took my time. I shaved, then put on a blue button down and khakis. I checked the clock, and it was 7:58. Bella still wasn't here. She told me to go without her. I shoved my wallet into my back pocket and headed for the door. I pulled it open and smashed into something, and my arms flew out reflexively. "You okay?" I asked, looking down at Bella and checking her over.

"I'm fine."She sighed. "I'll see you down there." She replied, sounding neutral.

I let her go and she brushed past me. "Do you want me to wait?"

"No."

"Are you sure? It's not a problem."

"I still have to shower. I'll be quick, but just go down there. I don't want my mother to be alone."

I hesitated, but put my hand on the knob. "Okay. I'll see you."

"Yea, I'll be down soon."

I nodded again and headed out the door. I didn't know what to do because everything was a mess. I couldn't fix this. Any of it, and that was abundantly clear. I went down the elevator. I got out and headed to the restaurant. I went to the Maitre'd , and put in our name. I was the first one there, and I sat alone, tucked into the booth in the dark room. How fitting.

I sat for another few minutes when I felt someone walk over to me. When I looked up, I saw... only a hint of Bella. Not much of her, but enough that I knew it must be Renee. I sucked in a deep breath, and stood with a smile on my face. "Mrs. Dwyer?"

She gave me a huge smile and wrapped her arms around me. "You must be Edward!"

I put my arms around her warily and pat her back. "Good to meet you."

"You too." She pulled away just a little and looked around. "Where my daughter?"

"Oh, she's upstairs." Probably thinking up ways to kill me. "She had to finish getting ready, and she didn't want you to be down here alone."

"It's not like Bella to take forever to get ready. Hm," She paused, "No matter, she was sweet to have you come down and wait for me. So how are you liking New York?"

I sunk back into my side of the booth, and Renee on the other. "It's fun. Bella and I are having a blast. What about you? Did you get in today?"

"Yea, I arrived this afternoon. I like having a day to myself before spending the entire time in baseball mode with Phil. It's such a lively city. I'm surprised Bella never moved here. I think she'd blossom in a town like this."

I looked down at my hands. "I'm sure she would."

"So how did you and my daughter meet?"

I looked up and smiled. "At a restaurant. We were both waiting for other people, actually."

She smiled knowingly. "Was Bella waiting for James by any chance?"

I took in a deep breath and nodded. "In fact, she was."

"I get the impression that he made her wait a lot." She said nodding, but still giving me a smile. "Good thing she met you." She said with a laugh. "Now you're waiting."

Renee kept laughing, but I trained my eyes behind her. Bella. Fuck, she was gorgeous. She was wearing just a simple white dress, but she looked perfect. She always did. "Here she comes." I told Renee as I stood and waited for Bella.

Bella gave me a half smile, and put her hand in mine when she got over. She pressed her lips against my cheek and whispered, "Hey."

I squeezed my hand around her wrist and smiled a little. "Hi. Sit."

She nodded, and slid into the booth. "Hi mom. Sorry I'm late. For some reason i thought it'd be a good idea to go for a walk in the city's summer heat wearing a sweatshirt. I needed to shower so I wouldn't offend the patrons down here." She said with a laugh.

"No problem hunny. Edward was just telling me how you two met."

"Oh?" Bella asked, looking at me to explain.

I nodded. "Yeah. At the restaurant."

She let out a breath. "Oh, right. Yeah... Edward saved me from having to eat dinner all dressed up, by myself."

"Aww!" Renee cooed, turning back to me. "You didn't tell me you were her knight in shining armour that night."

I laughed uncomfortably. "I wasn't. I was just there and lucky she didn't turn to the guy on her left."

"I went to you because you were the hottest guy there." She replied, her bottom lip getting sucked into her mouth, and he blush creeping up her cheeks.

I laughed remembering the other old couples that surrounded us. "Yeah, tough crowd."

"So... now I know how you two met. Bella hunny, what's new? How's the job here going?"

"Fine... good. We wrapped early, so we're going home soon."

"Oh that's too bad. I would have loved for you to both join me at a game. I hear you're a fan, Edward."

I nodded, looking over the menu after the waiter took our drink order. "I am. My brother has season tickets for the Mariners."

There was a beat of silence before Bella filled it. "So mom, how's Phil?"

"Oh, the same as always. Busy busy with the team. We're thinking of going on vacation this winter to Switzerland to actually have a winter." She laughed, "I'm not sure how I'll do in anything below 70 since I've been so spoiled in Florida."

I nodded, taking a sip of water. "How long have you lived down there?"

"Oh about... what, 10 years Bels?"

Bella shrugged, "About that, yea."

I nodded, not really sure what to say next because it was then that I realized I knew nothing about Bella's mother. Thankfully I was saved when the waiter came around to take our order, but we were once again in silence. Think of something fast, idiot. "Did you see that the King Tut exhibit is in town? It looks pretty interesting."

"Oh, actually I haven't. I'll have to take a look. Thanks for the tip." She smiled, "So, Bella how's your brother?" Renee asked, then turned to me. "Have you met Emmett?"

I shook my head. "No, we've spoken on the phone, but that's all."

Bella's head cocked to the side as she looked at me. "You've talked to my brother? When?"

"After the fourth."

She blinked at me, nodding a little before sucking in a deep breath. "Excuse me a moment?"

Renee nodded as Bella slid out of the booth. "Sure thing sweetie."

Yeah, not gonna fly. "I'm just gonna go check on her."

Renee nodded at me, pulling out her phone. "Okay. I'll just be here. I'm going to give Phil a call and say goodnight then."

"We'll be right back." I nodded, then flew out of the restaurant. Bella was pacing in front of the door. "What's wrong?"

"How many more things are you keeping from me?" She asked pointedly.

Just one. "What're you talking about?"

"Edward don't play coy. First the whole Tanya.... whatever the fuck... and now you're talking to my brother behind my back? Is this going to be a weekly thing? A 'surprise fucking Bella with another secret from the relationship' game?"

I sighed and looked away, "No. And I'm not talking to your brother. I just spoke to him once after the baby. That was it."

"I'm going to tell my mother I'll have breakfast with her tomorrow, because I can't deal with all of this. You keep fucking lying Edward." She sighed, shaking her head as she walked past me and brushing her shoulder against mine.

I sighed and tossed my head back. That was not a lie. That was something I was asked to keep to myself. I looked at the setting sun, then just decided to walk. This was all happening anyway. There wasn't anything I could do about.

So I let it happen.

Come what may.


	38. Chapter 38

a/n: BELZO! Guess what today is??

Uhhh....tuesday?

THE DAY WE POST ANOTHER CHAP OF THIS AWESOME FIC, DUHHHHHH!

YAYYYYYYYYYYY! Too bad we don't own like SMeyer cause then we could like...I dunno, publish this awesomeness.

Psh... that's okay. At least our stories have awesome citrus and don't ftb. Plus if we published shit we wouldn't get awesome reviews from awesome people like we do here. (that's a hint folks :D)

Exactly. I love hearing from ya (I'm replying!) so leave us some lovvvveeeeeee :D

* * *

**BPOV**

He left me.

I walked back out to talk to him about... fuck, _everything _and he was gone. I went up to the room and no Edward there either. He was fucking gone.

Times got tough and he walked away. I guess he wasn't ready to face everything. Whatever. I was so livid... not a message at the front desk, not a text message. In the spaces where I wasn't seething with anger I was worried.

But fuck him.

But dammit I was worried. I sat in the lobby, my head in my hands for what felt like hours.

My body started aching from all the activity during the day and severe lack of painkillers so I made my way back up to the room. I didn't even bother changing as I fell onto the bed and sank into the mattress.

He was an asshole and had run. Edward had done the one thing he promised he never would.

He left.

I couldn't sleep without him. I was restless and even after taking extra strength ibproufin I was still sore. After grabbing the blanket off the bed, I curled up on the couch, channel surfing in the dark. Around midnight the door creaked open slowly, but I wasn't sure how to act or what to say, so I waited. He left. He could talk first.

He walked over slowly towards the TV. His shoulders were slumped and his posture indicated he was nothing short of exhausted. He stood there staring at the TV as he began unbuttoning his shirt, making no motion of acknowledging my presence. Once he had shrugged out of his shirt he flipped the TV off and turned towards the sliding doors.

"Um, helllllo I'm not invisible. I was watching that." I snapped turning to look in the direction his eyes were focused on.

He spun around, looking me in the eyes before bending town to flip the TV back on. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you." He added condescendingly, "In the dark." He didn't wait for a response, and instead turned on his heels to walk to the bathroom.

"Do you want your ring back?" I shouted through a cracked voice. "There's a Tiffany's here. I'm sure they'll accept it."

"Why would I want it back? Why would you even think that?" He asked softly, sounding completely baffled.

"You left. No note. No text. No waiting for me. You. Left. Me." I said, feeling the anger and sadness come back full throttle.

He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his static hair. "I went for a walk. You went for a walk. I can't walk?"

"I told you I was going. You, just... left." I said feeling my shoulders fall as my voice trailed off.

"I would never... leave you, Bella. You know that."

"No, no I don't know that." I said, pulling my knees up to my chest. "After today... it feels a lot like 4th of July."

He moved in front of where I was now sitting up straight. He knelt down and looked up at me."You do know that. I've told you that, and you shouldn't feel like that. Bella... it's nothing. All of it is nothing."

"To you it's nothing." I mumbled. I felt so small, so... insignificant. And I never thought the man in front of me would lead me to feel it.

"Then talk to me." He whispered, his eyes pleading me to open up.

"Edward, do you know how much it _hurt _to hear that you told me you were in love with me and then flew home and had sex with Tanya?" I asked looking at him through teary eyes. Don't cry Bella. Don't fucking do it. You did it enough on your walk. Not now. Just... stop.

He ran his hand through his hair again, taking a deep exhale before speaking. "I didn't want it. You have to know that, and I regretted it every day."

I couldn't help it; he was my magnet. I leaned forward brushing his hair from his eyes. "I know. And I'm not upset.. I don't even know why I'm upset. I mean... you two were together. I guess, I just feel like it tarnishes what that time meant to us." I admitted sadly.

"I understand it. I'd be the same way if it had been you... but Bella, I can't take it back. It was only that one time, I swear. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." I sighed. "It just... and then you left." I closed my eyes swallowing back tears. "Edward you can't leave me."

He parted my knees, moved to kneel between them and pulling my face down so we were eye level. "I'm not leaving. You know I won't leave. Never."

"And my brother?" I asked hesitantly.

"He called me from your phone the night you left the studio. I called you a million times, and he called back because he didn't know who I was."

"Oh, and?" I pushed. I needed to know more.

He shook his head dismissively. "Nothing. That was it. He told me how you were and asked me to come check on you after he left."

"... So that's the only reason you came over that night?" I said feeling like I'd just been stabbed in the gut.

"No, of course not." He replied, moving his head side to side. "I would've come anyway, he just told me when he was leaving so you wouldn't be alone."

"You sure?"

His face was set and his eyes focused on me as he nodded. "Positive. I love you Bella. I love you. It's one thing if you don't want me, but I always want you."

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? I was worried..."

"Because you walked away."

"...To go tell my mom to forget about dinner. I was coming right back."

He shrugged and stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. "How was I supposed to know you were coming back? You said you couldn't deal with this and walked away."

"I dunno." I sighed, leaning back. I shut my eyes; I was so... all over the place. I couldn't even figure it out in my own head.

"I'm going to get in the shower. If you want me to leave, then go in the bedroom and shut the door. I'll figure something out." He stated with a sigh as he stood up and I heard him walk back to the bathroom.

I sighed not opening my eyes til I heard the shower running. I couldn't be without him. I stripped down as I made my way towards the bathroom. I pushed open the door and opened the shower door stepping in and wrapping my arms around him from behind, kissing his shoulder blade.

"Hi." He mumbled, his voice unsteady.

"I never want you to leave." I whispered against his wet skin. "You're my forever and I'm your almost-wife." I replied, pressing my forehead into his back and running my fingers up and down his flat stomach.

He turned around, snaking his arms around my waist. "You're my wife. You will be. It's not right unless it's you." He whispered, his voice still shakey.

"I hope so."

He looked at me, waiting a beat before speaking again. "I love you. Why... why'd you get so mad earlier?"

"I was mad about Tanya... and then when you left. Edward, I was so scared that you _left _left. I was pissed at myself and hurt and upset and god... Edward I was jealous of Tanya before, when I shouldn't have been. It's just... I only want me to touch you like that, I only want you to touch _me _like that. I only want you to love me, and I want my love to be the only love you need."

"You are the only one I need. I didn't want to be there, I promise. I wanted to be anywhere but there." He choked out.

My heart broke at his reddened eyes and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up to him tightly. His arms wound around my waist as he pulled me further against him. "We have to be together Edward. We have to be honest, okay? All the time. I love you, so much. I want to be your wife more than anything. I want you to want everything that implies as much as I do. None of it means anything if I don't have it with you." I said, squeezing my arms as I pushed my face into his temple.

"I don't want it with anyone but you." He panted quietly against my damp skin.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." I repeated quietly in his ear. "I'm yours and I love you."

He lifted his head slightly, pushing his temple against mine. "I love you too. Only you. Only ever you." He stated just as softly.

We showered slowly. I washed his hair and soaped him up and he rewashed my hair and slid the soap along my skin. Once we had rinsed off, I stepped out first, grabbing a towel and patting him dry. His eyes still reflected sadness and I wanted to kick myself for putting it there. I wrapped the towel around his hips and his hand immediately went to my waist lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms gripped his neck as we walked silently into the bedroom. He leaned us down on the bed, and nuzzled my nose with his. I brushed my lips against his and his mouth swiped back against mine.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as he looked down at me as if search for the answer to the meaning of life.

He sounded gutted as he spoke. "I should be apologizing to you. But, you know I don't think those things, right? I just... it sucked watching you go through that once when it didn't happen." He took a deep breath before continuing. "That was the worst part; watching what it did to you."

"I don't want us to try and have a baby now Edward. I don't want every time we have sex for that to be on our minds. I just want to love you, and be free to make love to you without worrying about any of it. I just want it to be us."

"And it is. But that's what I think of. It's always you and me, though. I somehow end up thinking about hurting you." He replied, holding me even closer against his bare skin.

"Don't. Just think about... us. It's you and me, like you said." I said, cupping his jaw. "Just... make love to me and don't think about anything but us."

"I can't not think about you." He admitted, smiling sadly.

"Then don't think about the hurt, just think about... how much I love you." I replied, kissing him softly. "How you're the love of my life." I said kissing his cheek. "How much I need you, every minute of every day." My lips continued to descend down his jaw.

His voice stung with melancholy as he mumbled, "I won't make it without you."

"You won't have to, so don't think about it." I replied leaning up to kiss his forehead.

He closed his eyes and shook his head as if trying to erase it from memory. "I don't want to."

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Hm?"

"Kiss me."

He complied quickly, brushing his lips to mine in a chaste kiss. "Always."

"And... don't stop." I continued hesitantly, running my hands up and down his back.

He shook his head again, still not opening his eyes. "Never." He whispered, going back in and kissing me with a bit more gusto.

My hands slid down as we kissed and I pulled his towel away, bending my knees up on either side of his hips. "Edward," I panted, pulling my head back as my fingers found their way into his hair.

He blinked, his eyes opening as he peered down at me. "Baby?"

"Please, no condom tonight."

He nodded, repeating my words. "No condom."

My right hand slid from his hair down to his jaw and I kissed him feverishly; like that first night at the docks. And I knew then, I knew even then standing at the docks wrapped up in his coat that he was my everything. Even only knowing that he preferred red wine to white, that he thoughts the smurfs were racist and he smelled amazing... even then he was my heart.

I felt his hand slid down along my bare thigh hitching it up as he slid into me slowly. I moaned into his mouth as our tongues mingled and I felt his shaft stretch me. That was another great thing about us; we always fit, perfectly. I moved my lips from his panting in his ear. "Edward, you were made for me. I... I was made for you. I love you. I love only you." He grunted and began moving in and out of me in slow, torturous strokes. "Harder." I begged, as my hips rocked against his. His mouth latched onto mine again and his breath came out in hot bursts through his nose as he drilled into me.

We changed positions constantly, neither one of us ready for us to end the apology. There was so much to say sorry for. We made love, and that's truly what it felt like, for hours. I was sore and we were both slick and dripping with sweat but we weren't done. We weren't ready to stop with our requiems. He gripped both my hands as I rolled onto my stomach and arched my back in a downward slope as he pounded into me. His lips kissed their way down my spine. He was panting so hard he was practically wheezing as he rested his forehead on my back. "I love you. I need you. I need you." He chanted, sounding as if he were almost on the verge of tears. I pulled away, turning around and sitting up. He leaned back on his heels and I sat up, sinking down onto him. Our eyes were locked, our faces flushed and dripping. My mouth sought out his as if he were the sole entity who could give life.

He had helped to restore mine. And he would help in giving any of our children, theirs. One of his hands pressed firmly against my lower back, pushing me closer to his chest while his other gripped my hip, helping to set the pace. I was breathless and tore my lips from his and trailed down my neck. "I'm yours. I'm yours. I love you, always." I sputtered out. His fingers danced along my hip, finally finding my swollen clit and rubbing it. "Please Bella." He breathed, kissing my shoulder. "Please give me everything." And I knew he meant more than just my cum, or an orgasm... but it didn't stop me from letting go and giving him both. I arched my back pressing my breasts into him and letting his name fall like rain from my lips. I ground my sopping wet pussy against his lap as it clenched around him and he gave me all he had left.

We sat there for awhile, trying to catch our breaths, our eyes shut and completely wrapped up in each other.

Nothing could break us.

We were too strong.

We loved each other too much.

I could only hope those were more than just famous last words.

We had to make it; I couldn't live without him anymore.

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning curled around Bella and sore everywhere.

I needed her.

That's what I found out. I needed her more than I was willing to admit to myself. I simply wouldn't survive without her. I couldn't. I didn't know how. I got up and took another shower, since last night had left me with a thin film of sweat all over my body. Bella hopped in about half way through and reminded me that she was having breakfast with her mom. I kissed her good bye and started getting my things together to go home.

Home.

With Bella.

I couldn't wait. It was everything I'd ever wanted.

A little while later, I met Bella and Dennis outside and we got into the car to head to JFK.

"Are you excited?" I asked, wrapping my arms around Bella and kissing her forehead.

"Mhm." She leaned into me, a small smile playing on her perfect lips. "We never figured out logistics though."

"Of?"

"Are you moving in with me? Am I moving into the studio? Are we getting a cat or a dog?" She asked, kissing the corner of my jaw lightly.

"Whichever and a cat."

"Oh, and I wanted to let you know I checked my voice mail again, before I left to meet my mom."

"Oh?" This didn't sound good.

"James might be at the airport." She said with a sigh. "I wanted to forewarn you, just in case."

I tensed behind her. "Why? I thought you said..." After that... after last night, could it be that--

"We did. He's having a hard time accepting it. He left me about a dozen messages while I've been gone."

"Oh." I murmured. I was relived, but at the same time wary. Who knows what we'd have to deal with.

Dennis pulled up to the airport and helped me get the bags out before giving Bella a hug good bye. I shook his hand and we headed in to check in and get situated. We got onto the plane almost instantly and took off a short while later. I put my head on Bella's shoulder and shut my eyes. "I think we should move into your place."

"Okay." Bella said, kissing my forehead lightly. "There's always the third option of us looking for our own house, but I like you at my place. It feels like you were meant to be there, you know?"

I nodded, nuzzling her neck. "I like being there."

Her head fell on top of my and she let out a small laugh. "How much of our wedding do you think Alice has planned by now?"

I laughed, "Honestly? All of it. All you'll have to do is hop in the dress."

"Mm, does that mean I get to marry you this weeked and be your wife by Sunday dinner?" I felt Bella's face nuzzling against my hair, then her lips pressing a kiss into my head.

"If Alice has anything to say about it." I murmured. "We could do it in Seattle. Just go down there and do it."

"This sounds kind of silly but I kind of want a wedding." She hesitated slightly, before continuing. "I mean this is the only time I'm ever getting married... I kind of want a white dress and a cake and my dad walking me down the aisle. Definitely small and nothing over the top. But a little something. Maybe at the summer house?"

I laughed. "It doesn't sound small when you say summer house, but yeah, I get it. Sounds good."

She twisted her ring around her finger, holding it up to watch it sparkle in the light. "You really did pick out the perfect ring."

My eyes flicked down to her hands. "I'm just glad you liked it. I was expecting to have to go back."

I felt her head shaking against mine. "No, it's beautiful. I love it." She said, pulling away to lift the arm rest from between us. "I want you to know the minute the seatbelt sign goes off I'm crawling into your lap until they tell me to move."

I laughed and lifted my head to kiss her forehead. "Screw that. Get over here."

She laughed back at me, unbuckling her seatbelt and crawling into my lap, her head finding my shoulder again. "So where do you stand on joining the mile high club?"

I let out a puff of a laugh. "I'm all for it. How are you not sore, though? I was sure that after last night there was no way you'd be up for it."

"I'm sore, but doesn't it still count if I suck you off?"

I looked over at her. "Yeah?"

"Well then..." She murmured, her lips gliding smoothly over my neck. "let me taste you before we land."

I leaned my head into hers and my eyes fell closed. "Okay."

I could feel her grinning against my skin as she places wet kisses along my collarbone. "We don't _have _to, just because I like it when you stuff yourself in my mouth. We can... not do it, if you'd rather we sit here."

"No... the stuffing." I said. "I like the stuffing." I was getting hard just thinking about it.

"I'll meet you in the back bathroom in 2 minutes." And with that, she was gone.

I didn't wait though. I followed Bella almost immediately and pushed her into the bathroom and up against the wall, smashing her lips to mine. I pulled away breathlessly and kissed down her neck. "You can't... leave me hard all the time."

"And why not, if I fully plan on relieving you?"

I laughed into her skin, pulling her hips closer. "Tell me, Bella."

"Tell you what?" She asked softly.

I lifted my head back up before brushing my lips over hers. "Tell me what you want."

"You." Her breath was coming out in hot pants against my lips and her hands were roaming through my hair.

I grinned against her. "Good." I pressed my lips feverishly to hers, not particularly caring that we might get caught or that we were being loud. I just needed to be with her. Nothing was more important that being with Bella.

She kissed her way down my body and all off a sudden she was on her knees in front of me. My eyes snapped shut and my breathing picked up as I felt the zipper on my jeans slide down, then Bella's fingers hooking in the elastic of my boxers and tugging them down. I opened my eyes a little and my cock was right in front of her lips. She licked them slowly, her hands gliding up my thighs, then one wrapped around my base. She looked up at me, a mischievous glint in her eye before wrapping her plump, swollen lips around my cock. I groaned and my eyes shut again as Bella sucked hard on my tip and her hand ran up and down my shaft in even strokes. She was so fucking wet and warm.

Slowly, I began to feel her mouth sliding farther and farther down on my shaft, until she was practically taking all of me in. My hand flew to her hair and I panted.

"Fuck, baby... you're... shit... I love when you have your mouth on my cock... guhhhhhhholy shit... Bella... Bellla..." I moaned, feeling my lips start to moved faster in and out of her mouth. Bella hummed against me in acknowledgement while running her tongue over the bulging vein on the underside of my cock. I groaned again and pushed her farther. I was ready to pull out, but Bella just took a deep breath and sucked me in all the way. Fuckkkkkk. I could feel my head slip down her throat ,and it felt like she was trying to swallow me whole. Best thing in the entire world.

The hand that was on my hip moved to my ass and she started to push me further, making me fuck her mouth. I held back, trying not to gag her or anything, but I could feel myself getting ready to cum. "Shit... fuck... Bella... baby, I'm gonna... !" I wailed, shoving my cock even further down her throat as she gave my balls a sharp tug. I came just as I felt my cock getting squeezed, as she moaned against me. Whenever she did that, it made me feel like she liked doing this with me. That even though I just pushed my dick into her mouth, she still loved me.

Bella cleaned me up and put my cock back in my pants before standing , and wiping a little cum off of her lip. "That was hot you know."

She took my hand in hers, sucking my finger into her mouth, keeping her eyes trained on me the whole time. I could feel my cock trying to get hard as I watched her. "Glad you enjoyed yourself." She finally said, a proud smile gracing her lusciously perfect lips.

I laughed to myself and leaned in to kiss her. "I always do. Incase you hadn't noticed."

Her lips pressed back against mine and I could feel her smiling. "Nope, nooo idea."

A rumbling laugh rolled through me, and pulled her against my chest. "You're one of a kind. I'm glad."

She beamed up at me, and I was worried her face was going to explode with the sheer brilliance of her smile. "Love you." She replied, leaning up to kiss me again. "I'm going to wash up. I'll meet you back out there?" She asked, gesturing to the door.

Oh, right. The plane. "Yeah." I kissed her again. "Don't be too long."

She shook her head, her eyes slipping shut as she leaned back in for my lips. "I won't."

I went back out into the cabin and to our seats, where the flight attendant was giving me the eye. I kinda just looked around and slumped down into my seat. The last thing I needed right now was a friendly air person. Bella flopped into the seat beside me, and I curled into her a little. "Quick, grab my junk or something."

She leaned forward, whispering into my ear and chuckling lightly at me. "What?"

"The flight attendant. She's making googly eyes at me."

Her hands went up to my hair, running through it gently and I moaned at the feeling. Having got what I assumed was the proper response, her lips began to move down my neck once again. "You're _mine_."

I turned my head a little to smile at her. "Always." Then I leaned in and kissed her. It didn't matter who was staring or audibally huffing; all I cared about right then was that it really was Bella and I, and that we were really doing this. That was all I needed. For fucking ever.

She pulled back just enough so I could register the grin on her face before planting her lips back on mine, as if she were pouring herself into me. Nothing would ever top having this with Bella. Nothing would ever top this sense of...completeness whenever she was near me. I grinned against her lips and then kissed both cheeks. "I hope you never get tired of me. That would just... ruin everything."

"That's impossible. I belong to you and with you, forever." She said, kissing me quickly.

I nodded, hoping that that could be true. I _needed_ that to be true. "I love you. No matter what, I love you."

She laughed quietly, "'No matter what' sounds like you're foreshadowing some apocolyptic event." Her lips moved to my cheek, then just beside my year. "You worry too much."

I leaned over and put my head on her shoulder. "I'm not." _I hope. "_I just want you to know."

She mumbled inherently into my scalp, then her lips pressed against the spot. "Ohhh here she comes again. Should I start dry humping you?"

I nodded against her shoulder. "Yeah. It'd also be good if you like... you wrote your name on my forehead."

She pulled herself into my lap, straddling me. "Do you think we'd get arrested if I fucked you right here, to stake my claim?" She whispered, her lips hovering above mine.

"No." I said, putting my head on her chest so I could hear her heart beat. "I'm all for it."

She laughed softly, her lips once again pressing into my hair. "Hey you okay? You seem kind of down."

"Yeah, I'm okay." I mumbled, pulling her closer. "You okay?"

She pushed her hips down into mine, nodding. "I'm ok."

I grunted and repositioned my ear over her heart. "That... was... a sexual advance, I think."

"I'm not sore anymore." She whispered.

I discreetly tried to nuzzle her breast. "Mmmmm... right now. But what about before you took your pills?" I thought for a second. "Back to the bathroom?"

She nodded, shifting herself off of my lap. "Thank god for 6 hour flights."

I laughed and watched her walk back down the aisle. My Bella. I waited another second before following her back there. Once I was inside I pulled her back into my arms. "I love you." I whispered, kissing her pulse point and breathing in her scent. Nothing calmed me or my mind the way she did.

"I love you too." She replied, wrapping her arms tightly around me. "I may not be able to wait for a real wedding. We may have to use your Seattle City Hall idea."

I nuzzled her neck a little. "I think that's an awesome idea. I want it to be us, you know? I mean, we can bring everybody else, but I want us there. Does that make sense?"

She gave me a good solid laugh. "It better be us. I'm not marrying your sister."

I shook my head. "I meant like... I don't feel like being an actor in Alice's play, you know?"

"Definitely. Just you and me." She cooed, smiling softly at me while her hand ran over my jaw.

I smiled, and kissed just under her chin. "Always you and me. No one else." Ever.

"No one." She repeated, her arms sliding over my shoulders and her lips raining kissing on my cheeks. "Only ever you."

"I'm sorry I'm not being all... sexy time right now."

She shook her head against me, grinning. "It's okay. We don't have to, if you'd rather not."

I shook my head and pulled away. "I always want to. I'm just... I'm being a mess right now. I'm sorry."

She pulled me back to her quickly, her fingers grazing over my temple. "You're not, but what's wrong? Are you sure you're okay?" She asked worriedly.

I sighed. I wanted to just... spit it out. Tell her while we were in the air, and she couldn't escape. But I couldn't. I was too much of a coward. "I dunno. I just don't feel right." I said instead. Fucking cop out.

Her palm fell flat against my forehead. "You feel okay. Maybe it's all this moving around and lack of sleep. We should go back and sit. You can sleep on me til we get to Salt Lake, okay?"

I smiled carefully at her and wrapped my arms around her again. "I don't deserve you. I so don't deserve you."

"Nonsense. You were made for me, just like I was made for you." She said, kissing me quickly then grinning. "There will never, in the history of all couples, be a couple as perfect for each other as we are."

I nodded, slowly and leaned my cheek on her head. "I love you." I didn't want to hurt her like this, but there didn't seem to be a way out. I didn't know what to do anymore. I couldn't lose her.

She pulled back, giving my hand a squeeze and tugging. "Come on, you need to rest."

"Okay." I said, and we walked out of the bathroom side by side. I didn't really care that we were probably getting a million and one dirty looks. I could have lost my girl in the last day and a half. I was a lucky ass hole, and I didn't care who knew it. We flopped back into our seats, and I leaned against the side of the plane. "What's the movie?"

"Baby Mama." She said, scrunching her nose, then rubbing my back a little. "Lean on me. I'm comfier than the side of an airplane."

I leaned over and put her arm over my shoulder, so that I was leaning against her chest. "You definitely are."

She held me tighter (or as tightly as she could) and kissed my forehead. "I still can't get over that you proposed."

I smiled against her and my eyes fell shut. "I did though. Look." I pointed to her finger.

"Mhm. And hopefully soon there will be another one that matches one on your finger." She said, taking my left hand and lacing my fingers with hers.

"Soon. When do you want to go?" Tomorrow? Was tomorrow too soon?

"Once we land? We could get the rings tonight and go get married first thing tomorrow morning?"

I grinned. "Yes, please."

"Good. While we're waiting in baggage claim, remind me to google what jewlers are open."

"Promise." I murmured into her breast. "We should do this more often."

A kiss to my hair. "Do what?"

I nuzzled her breast again. "This."

"What you using my boob as a pillow?" She asked with a laugh.

I did it again. "Mhm. It's comfy, despite how firm your tits are."

"You know, it's even better when I don't have a shirt or bra in the way."

I thought for a second. "I do not believe I have experienced this."

She puffed out another laugh against my hair. "We should try that tonight when we get home to our apartment."

I laughed, and settled against her again. "Definitely. I can't wait."

"Oh.. and tomorrow, if you want after the ceremony and the mindblowing post-vows fucking, we can start moving your stuff over?"

I nodded. "Yeah." Shit. "At some point I have to go back to the old house and collect my shit."

"Mmk." She whispered, relaxing agaisnt me. "Do you want me to come with you? Two cars are faster than one."

"Definitely. We'll go during the day or something? When do you have to be at work?"

"Mhm. My boss isn't expecting me til Monday so we have tonight, all day tomorrow and the weekend."

"Maybe tomorrow after we've throughly and completely consummated our marriage." Ehhhhhh. "Actually, no. I'll call her, and see if she's away this weekend. I definitely _don't_ want to run into her on our wedding day."

She chuckled lightly against me. "Okay, whatever you prefer husband."

I grinned into her breast and kissed around where I thought her nipple might be. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen. I can't wait to make you mine forever."

I heard her heart begin to speed up as she arched herself ever so slightly into my touch. "You know what your mouth does to me. Unless you're feeling better enough to go back to the bathroom, I'm going to have to regretfully ask you to stop."

I sighed and settled for pushing my face into her soft flesh again. "Sorry, love. But don't rule it out; I still have... four hours and forty-five minutes."

She grinned, and I caught her legs rubbing together out of the corner of my eye. "I wouldn't even if you asked me to. Your wife has needs too."

I huffed. "This would be easier if we had a blanket."

"Or our own plane." She added.

I laughed and leaned up to kiss her. "Good point."

She met me half way, her lips pressing insistently against mine. "So have you decided where we're going on vacation yet?"

I pulled in a breath. "No. Ummm, we should go somewhere fun. France or something."

"Ohh south of France... all those beaches. Topless ones too." She said with a wink.

I grinned, then thought better of it. "No one gets to see my tits."

"_Your _tits, huh?" She asked, smirking as she arched an eyebrow.

I nodded against hers. "Yup. Don't make me find my sharpie and write my name on you."

"Ohh.. maybe a little uppercase, cursive 'E' right here" She offered, inching down the collar of her shirt to expose the top of her breast.

I leaned up and kissed the spot. "Yup. My tits."

She smiled and nodded decisively at me. "Does that mean you'll take over the breastfeeding the babies?"

I laughed a little. "Sure. Why not?"

"AWESOME!" Bella laughed. Nothing was better than making Bella laugh because it was in moments like that everything was right in my world.

I laughed back at her. "I love you because you're crazy."

"Funny," Kiss to the nose. "Because that's the number one reason I love you too."

I laughed. "We're just meant to be, love. Meant to fucking be."

"Of course."

"Bella?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Edward?" She mimicked.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Mhm. Very. Why?"

"Cause let's watch the movie and take a nap. Cool?"

"You sleep. I'm pretty wide awake. But sleep."

I relaxed against her. "You sure?"

"Mhm" She whispered, her fingers running soothingly through my hair.

"Okay." I said, and that was the last thing I remembered.

I couldn't lose Bella.

I wouldn't know what to do.

**BPOV**

The flight home felt like both the longest and shortest flight of my life, if that makes any sense. My my was racing with thoughts of James, if he would be there, along with ideas for the wedding.

I couldn't help but smile as I looked down at my left hand. It was real, all of it; Edward and I were getting married. I didn't sleep at all on the flight, but Edward remained passed out the remainder of the trip home, only stirring once or twice to push his face further into me.

Edward began fidgeting when the Pilot announced we'd be landing in 10 minutes. "Edward." I whispered, kissing his temple.

"Hmm?" He groaned, not opening his eyes.

"We're about to land, you have to put your seatbelt on."

He sniffed and sat up, clearing the sleep from his eyes. "Okay." He yawned once before buckling up and reaching out his arm. "Hold my hand, please."

I grabbed his hand, holding it tightly and smiling over at him. "What do you say, an hour, hour and a half tops before we have our wedding bands?"

"Definitely." He agreed, nodding confidently.

We continued to glance at each other, grinning like dopes as we made our descent and landed. We taxied on the runway for a bit before finally pulling up to our gate.

"We're home Mr. Cullen." I replied as the cabin lights flickered on and the hustle and bustle began between passengers.

He leaned over kissing the spot just below my ear and whispering, "I'm always home when I'm with you."

I grinned turning my head to kiss him on the lips. "Cheeseball." I murmured before kissing him again. "But I love it."

He smirked leaning back in for my lips. "You better." He stated before closing the short distance and kissing me again. I would never get enough of this man.

"You still owe me a true mile high club adventure, by the way." I replied, reaching down to pull my carry on from under the seat in front of me.

He chuckled, smirking over in my direction. "I think we have time, Mrs. Cullen."

"Just making sure you're aware." I grinned back at him as we filed off the plane. "I love how we leave New York at it's 85, and it's 55 back in Seattle." I laughed as we walked hand in hand through the terminal towards baggage claim.

"Mhm. That's what we get for living at a high latitude. Do you know which thing we have to go to?"

"Mmm.. no but we can look at the screen thing once we get down there." I said leaning into him.

"Okay. Straight to the store?"

"Definitely. I didn't realize we'd be getting in so early. It's only 3."

He pulsed his hand in mine and smiled. "Awesome. That means we can grab dinner on the way home."

"After the rings, right?" I asked as we stepped on the escalator going down towards baggage claim.

"Of course. I'm gonna do 115 just to get over there."

I laughed shaking my head as we stepped off the automated stairs.

"BELS!!!!!!!!!!" I heard a familiar voice shout as we walked towards the monitors.

I turned to where the voice had come from and my blood ran cold. I tightened my hand around Edward's as I tried to steady my breathing.

He jogged over to where were were standing, looking from me to Edward and back again.

"Bels, who is this guy?"

Before I could sensor myself, my mouth spat out. "James, this is my fiancee - Edward."


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: BELZO! Look! It's... it's... A NEW SECRETS CHAP!

OOOOOO AHHHHHH! Muchas excitingos :D But not quite as exciting as having the rights to these awesome characters, because they still belong to SMeyer.

Dammit. She's such a party pooper. :P

Tots. Who made her queen of the world?

Summit. Duh.

Ewwww. Ohhh wells. Reviews are better, anyhow. I LOVES reviews :D

Because they're AWESOME. So how about you awesome readers leave one? We may even give a sneak peak if you do! Bwahaha... nothin' like bribery.

Not a thing :P

* * *

**BPOV - Chapter 39**

"James, this is my fiancee - Edward." I had said it so seriously, so calmly. And that didn't really surprise me, after all if there was one thing I was sure of it was Edward and I. What took me aback was that I didn't find myself caring what James' response would be.

At all.

"Excuse me?"

I pulsed my hand in Edward's and looked directly at James. "My fiancee."

He chuckled a bit sadistically. "C'mon, Bels... you were gone a week and a half."

"I've been with Edward since May. That's how much you've noticed and been around."

"Isabella... you've been cheating on me?" He questioned, an edge of anger laced with disbelief in his tone. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Beside me I heard the faint sound of Edward growling under his breath. Nothing was fucking wrong with me and Edward needed to know I felt as much.

"Yea. Kinda tit for tat dontcha think?" I said, an edge of anger in my voice.

"Bullshit. Cut the crap and come home. Not like this one's any better." He retorted pointing at Edward.

I felt Edward stiffen beside me and once again, protective mode surged through me. "He's better in bed, at least he gets me off." I spat.

At this, I could practically see the smoke steaming from James' ears. "Bullshit. Let's just go the fuck home so I can consider forgiving you."

"Forgiving _me_? I don't want your fucking forgiveness. And what home are you referring to? We don't share a home. My apartment has never been, isn't now and won't ever be _your _home."

Seeing that the angry exboyfriend card wasn't going to be playable he pulled a 180; his voice dropping to a soothing almost sing-song decible. "Bella, Bellerina... please? _Please?"_

I sighed, gathering my bearings. It must be a lot; finding out not only had your ever-faithful girlfriend cheated, but cheated for months and was now engaged. "We're not going to my apartment but we can go somewhere and talk. I think our relationship should at least end with understanding, even if you never had it during the whole thing." I stated calmly but with a hint of sarcasm.

"Bella?" Edward asked, sounding completely befuddled.

"Okay... let's go." James said holding out his hand and completely disregarding the amazing man beside me.

I looked down at James' hand and scoffed. "You're fucking kidding. I'm not holding your hand." I replied bluntly before tugging Edward's hand. "We'll be just a sec James. I'll meet you outside." I said nodding over to the doors. He glared once more at Edward, staring him down before turning on his heels and moving to the doors.

"Edward, if you and are going to do this, there has to be closure for everyone. I need to talk to James and he needs to understand or else he'll just keep coming around."

He refused to meet my eyes, despite my attempts and his voice sounded completely broken. "I don't like this... I don't... It's not a good idea. I should come. Or you should go separately."

"Edward I'll be fine. James won't hurt me. He may yell at decibles that you can hear over a plane's jets but he won't do anything." I replied, moving my hand and lacing my arms around his waist. "It'll be ok. And I'll come home and we'll start planning your move into the apartment ok?"

"Bella..." He said, letting my name drop slowly off his lips. He sounded completely torn; as if he wasn't sure if he should fight me on this or let it go.

I moved one of my hands further up, cupping his jaw and turning slightly to see the ring on my left finger. "Edward I'm yours. I'm going to be your wife in November, if Alice hasn't already planned a wedding for this weekend." I stated, smiling and trying to lift the tension around us. "I want only you." I replied kissing him softly. "I love only you." Another kiss. "I was meant to be your bride, and nothing and no one will stop that from happening okay?"

"I'm only... a phone call away." He struggled to get out as he finally looked at me directly, a flash of pain passing through his emerald eyes.

"Edward this has to happen. He obviously needs closure and if that's all he needs is to hash this out in a big fight tonight then that's fine. I'm coming home to you." I paused lowering my head to meet his eyes. "You believe me right? That I'm coming home?"

"Yes." He nodded, and I could tell he was still trying not to fight me on this.

"Talk to me." I replied softly.

His body was rigid as he spoke. "I'm still worried for you. There's nothing you can say that will make me not worry until you come home to me." He confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

"And I am." I replied, running my hand through his hair. "I'll come home and kick off my shoes and start a load of our laundry and I'll wash your boxers for the first time and you'll laugh at me for giggling over it because it's going to make me feel like a wife. And then we'll order takeout because we'll be too tired to cook and we'll be a boring couple who watches TV while waiting for the pizza guy to come." I foreshadowed, grinning like an idiot at the thought of it all.

He nodded, pulling me tighter against him and burying his face in my shoulder. "Come home to me."

"Always. You _are _my home Edward." I replied kissing his neck softly. "I won't even be late; I promise."

I felt him sigh against me and kiss the curve of my neck gently as he mumbled against my skin, "Don't forget that I love you."

"I won't." I replied, kissing him again. "Pull out all the takeout menus so we can decide when I get home?" I asked, smiling a little as I pulled back a bit.

"Okay." He agreed, once again refusing to meet my gaze.

"Hey." I said, moving my head to meet his eyes again. "I love you. I'm coming home to you; there's nothing he could say that would change that."

He nodded. "I know." The green eyes I loved so much, finally met my own and he kissed my forehead. "Be safe."

"I will." I said, smiling sadly and kissing him. "I'll call you if there's a problem, okay?"

His lips moved to meet mine again quickly. "Yes, please do. I'll come for you. I love you." He finished, kissing me again.

I nodded and kissed him one last time. "Love you." My hand reached for his and I squeezed it before turning and walking over to where James was waiting.

Hopefully this would be a somewhat easy break. I couldn't wait to get home to Edward.

**EPOV**

I watched her walk from me, and to _him._

I couldn't take it. I turned away before she got there. I couldn't watch her walk away with him. I didn't want to watch it happen. I went to the baggage claim instead and got our bags, my mind racing in a million fucking directions. I knew he knew who I was. I could fucking tell. He knew... he knew, and that's all there was to it. He'd probably tell her, and then I'd be screwed. So fucking screwed.

I drove quickly back to Bella's and threw our stuff into the foyer before I collapsed on the bed, rolling around in the sheets a little to soak up every bit of her scent that I could. I didn't know where we stood with each passing minute and it killed me. It hurt so bad. I was terrified and my mind was in a million and one places. I finally took a deep breath and pulled myself from the bed. I went to the bathroom and took a shower, throwing on clean boxers before I went to the kitchen and grabbed some water.

Then I waited for Bella.

And I waited.

And I waited.

Until Finally, she appeared. My head snapped up to her immediately, and I'm sure I looked like a deer in headlights. "Hello."

"Hey." She called, sounding defeated.

I leaned forward a little, watching her warily. "You okay?"

"Mhm." She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she kicked off her shoes. "It was just... I learned a lot more than I was anticipating."

My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, and I felt like death. "Bella..." I started, but I couldn't find the words.

She walked over to me slowly, and I couldn't help but hold my breath. But then, she wrapped her arms around my waist and smiled up at me. "It... doesn't matter anymore. He and I are done. We're going to meet tomorrow - at neutral zone - to return each others' crap, but then that's it."

I was so confused. "Oh... oh. That's all? You're okay?"

She nodded, "Mhm. He said he'd been cheating on me since April with some girl who was hotter than a supermodel and engaged. But the way he said it got to me, I think."

I tensed around her. "Why? What do you mean?"

"The way he said it..." She reiterated, "I dunno maybe it's just me being tired and emotional over everything, but it sounded like he was messing around with someone I knew."

"Someone you know?" I repeated like a goddamn mynah bird.

"Yea, but I can't think of anyone I know that's engaged unless it's someone I work with..."She mused, leaning up to kiss the underside of my jaw. "Mmm, you smell good."

Ohhhh motherfucking shit. This was too close for comfort. Too fucking close. "Uhh, yeah... I showered." I replied, distractedly. What if she realized it? What if she figured it out?

"You wouldn't be interested in taking another shower with your fiancee would you?" She grinned, kissing me slowly. I couldn't help but get lost in the taste of her; in the very essence of her because who knew how much longer I would have this.

"Uh... sure. If you want." I replied. I was still trying to work this all out in my head. This was too much... I couldn't handle this... I wasn't sure I could do this. "Wedding bands?" I blurted.

"Oh! I completely forgot." She laughed a little, then kissed me again. "Let's go!"

I furrowed my brow. "You really want to go?"

SHe nodded emphatically. "Definitely." She studied my face for a moment before her own fell. "Hey, you okay?"

I nodded quickly, smiling a little. "Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. Let's go. Let me grab my keys."

I started to walk away, but she grabbed my wrist and tugged me back. "Hey, if you don't want to tonight, we don't have to. You seem off. You sure you're feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I want to. We're getting married tomorrow. C'mon, Bella." I said, going the front door and reaching for my keys.

She laughed softly, pulling my arms around her and pressing her body against mine. "Hold on." Bella leaned up, kissing me hard, like she knew how much I needed her; needed us right then. "I love you."

I nodded against her lips. "I love you, too." I was about to reach for the door, when I remembered something. "Shit."

"Hm?"

"Clothes." I replied, shaking my head, and walking back to the bedroom.

Bella laughed, pulling off her shirt. "Maybe we should just go tomorrow."

I turned to her, throwing a shirt over my head. "But then we can't get married tomorrow. If we don't have rings, we can't get married."

"We'll get the rings on the way." She countered, pulling off her jeans. "I really have this urge to just be all domestic and married tonight - even if we don't have the bands or certificate to prove it yet." I felt her arms wrap around my waist, and her lips press against my shoulder. "Do you mind if we wait til tomorrow?"

"No, I guess it doesn't matter." I pouted. I wanted her mine, already. I wanted to be done with it and have her just be mine.

"You sure, cuz we can get the rings if you really want and then do the ceremony in the morning. But I'm warning you I'm going to wear the ring from the minute we buy them."

I spun around quickly and pulled her face into my hands. "I want that."

"You have it. A ring isn't going to make me any more yours than I already am." She said, smiling up at me. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm you're wife and you're my husband."

I leaned in again, brushing my lips on hers. "My wife... my wife... my wife." She was here, she was real. This was really happening.

She gave me the widest smile she could muster. "My husband." Kiss. "My husband." Kiss. "Mine."

I nodded. "Always yours. Always. No matter what."

"You better be." She smirked. "Now drop those boxers and give me your dirty clothes from the trip so I can mix our underwear and do some laundry, so I can feel like I'm fufilling my wifely duties."

I laughed. "But these are clean."

"Yea, but I have _other _wife duties that require you being out of them when I come back."She grinned, snapping the elastic against me.

I smiled after her, and shook my head. "Ohhhhh, Bella."

She waved her hand at me, trying to get me out of them. "Come on, out of them."

I feined modesty. "But I'll be... 'sposed." I teased.

"Fine fine, that just means I'm not going to try and get you out of them later." She sighed, then pointed to the dresser. "The top drawer is my bras and underwear, you can empty that one and the one below it out and put your clean stuff that you have here in it. Your jacket is already hanging in the closet." She laughed.

I looked at the dresser with wide eyes and went over to it slowly. I opened the top drawer and was confronted with bras and underwear. They were all neatly folded and tucked together, and some I recognized. Some were favorites of mine, she obviously favored white cotton bras, but that didn't mean she didn't have the awesome push up shit too. I was astounded with how much I was learning about the woman I loved from her underwear drawer. "Wow." I whispered.

She laughed a little behind me, and I could feel her moving closer. "That's just the everyday stuff. The stuff I have for special occasions, like our honeymoon I keep away from all this stuff."

I brushed my hand thoughtfully over her things then spun around to hold her. "Thank you."

Bella's brow knit together and she watched me, confused. "For...?"

"Letting me in. Letting me do this with you. Thank you so much."

She laughed softly, smiling up at me then pressing her lips delicately to mine. "Edward, you're pretty much my husband. You never need to thank me. If anyone is thankful, it's me."

I shook my head against her and pushed my face into her shoulder. "Thank you. I'll never be able to repay this. Thank you."

"Stop thanking me Edward." She laughed, running her fingers through my hair and wrapping her arms around me. "Come on. We can unpack your stuff later, let's go order food; your wife needs to get fed."

"Okay," I nodded, scooping her up against me and walking back to the living room. "What're you hungry for?"

"I'd say you, but that would go against me saying I wouldn't try to get you out of those boxers," she smiled.

I laughed against her and kissed the base of her neck, rounding the corner into the kitchen. "Bella, we both know they're ending up on the floor later. Let's be honest."

"Yea, but it's _who _removes them that's the point."

"Uh huh." I said, putting her down on the counter and put my forehead to hers. "And in the end does it matter?"

"Yes, based on principle, you'll need to take them off." She said, leaning in closer. "Remember when you bent me over and took me against this counter before we left for New York?"

I nodded.

"Remember how hard I came around you?" She whispered, her breath tickling my neck.

I nodded again, kissing whatever skin my lips found. "I think it was the angle; not who removed my boxers."

She slid off the counter and turned around, sticking her ass out and looked at me over her shoulder. "and how was the angle?"

I grabbed her hips and pushed mine into hers. "Like this."

She bent over a little further, and moaned. "I think it was more like this." She breathed, grinding her ass harder against my crotch.

"Fuck, Bella..." I moaned.

I could feel her heat through my boxers and her underwear, and it just made me want to go harder. "Mmm... Edward..."

I wrapped my arm around her waist and my eyes fell shut. She felt so, so good. "Bella, tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours." She moaned, pushing harder against me. "I'm yours forever. I'm your wife."

I ran my hands down her hips and under her underwear. "Now tell me what you want."

"I want my husband to fuck me."She panted.

I pushed her underwear roughly down her hips then mine followed. "Then I will." I whispered harshly into her ear, running my tip through her slit. "This is what you want?"

Bella moaned, her hips pushing back into mine, so I pushed into her. She shrieked and arched her body forward so I started pounding into her, thinking she was ready.

"I love you, Bella. I fucking love you." I whispered in her ear over and over. She was my wife. My wife. Mine. Mine.

I kept going because the harder I went, the more she seemed to want. Bella's every moan and twitch kept pushing me farther, making me want to give more and take more. I wanted everything because I had everything to give in return.

"Fuck... shit... I'm gonna... Edward... please..." She started, but I already knew. I felt her walls trembling around me, and I knew she was close. One of my hands moved swiftly down from her hip to her mound, then down to her clit. Bella ground into it a little before I pressed my fingers against her swollen nub, breathing harshly into her ear.

"Baby, I can feel you around me... I can fucking feel you trembling around my cock, and I want you to cum. Cum all over my cock."

"FUCK!" She screamed, arching away from me as she came and driving me with her. I groaned, my head falling to the sweaty, smooth skin of her back, and I eased inside her slowly. I tried to catch my breath as my eyes fluttered closed. "My wife..." I murmured into her skin, punctuated with a kiss. "My wife... my love."

"Your Mrs. Cullen." She smiled, "Even though it's Thursday, do we get to pretend it's Sunday?"

I laughed against her back. "I was waiting for that."

"You can say no you know, and I'll put on clothes if you hate my Sunday rule so much." She replied, smirking.

I furrowed my brow, grinning back at her. "Who said I didn't like it?"

"No one, just letting you know you have a choice Monday to Saturday on whether we're pretending it's Sunday around the house."

I pulled my boxers back up. "I do?"

"Yep. So if I ever ask and you're not in the mood to be naked and all gropey then just let me know and I'll make sure nothing cept a sweatshirt and jacket comes off. I'll even keep socks on."

I laughed. "I don't believe you." I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Somehow I don't believe you."

"No really." She said, pulling on her underwear and my tee shirt while she walked back toward the bedroom. "I'll only be a stickler for the Sunday rule on Sundays... the other days... you can either be up for it or not; I don't mind."

"What if you're pregnant and you feel huge? Will we still have a sunday rule?"

She turned, looking sad. "No.. I guess we don't have to."

I grinned at her, and went to kiss her forehead. "I want to, I'm just testing the limits of it. Please, love, don't look so sad."

"Well I can see why you wouldn't when I'm the size of shamu, so I get it. It's okay."

"Hey, that's my baby you're carrying. No making fun of it." I squeezed her tighter and kissed the side of her neck. "Besides, your bump will be fuckhot."

She laughed a little, moving my hand down to her stomach. "You say that now. But when it's the size of 3 watermelons you may think differently."

I tensed my fingers against her skin and kissed her neck again. "I'll always think that. You having my baby won't ever be anything but awesome."

"Mhm.." She replied disbelievingly. "But you won't want the Sunday rule in effect when I am?"

"No, I will." I kissed her forehead. "I like the sunday rule."

"What about the new, fiancee rule?"

I grinned at her, my hand drifting down to just below the elastic of her underwear. "I thought I got to decide that one?"

"You can..." She moaned, arching her body into my touch. "What's the fiancee rule going to be?"

"Well, what if... if neither one of us feels like being naked on a day other than sunday, the other has to respect it. No fusses or pouts." I pouted at her to show what I meant.

"Yea... no. That's... not gonna work for me. I don't like rules that make you keep your clothes on." She said, her nose scrunching up adorably.

I laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. "Well, you define it then."

"Mmm.. okay, so fiancee rule.." She started, "Something temporary, since I'm not going to be a perma-fiancee." She mused, biting her lip, then looked at me. "Any ideas to help your wife-to-be out?"

"How about I just promise to love you, and only you." I suggested, kissing her forehead and sighing a little against her. I couldn't lose her. I'd fall apart if she left.

"And that's temporary?" She asked, raising an eye brow.

I shook my head, leaning in to kiss her again. "Of course not."

"Good." Kiss. "The fiancee rule has to be temporary though."

"Oh," I replied, sighing and pursing my lips as I tried to come up with something. "Maybe it's that we promise to...hmm, this is tough, love." I laughed. "I'll let you buy coffee every other morning."

"Every morning. We can drop it to every other after the wedding." She countered, giving me a coy grin.

"Mmm, no. After the wedding, your coffees are my coffees."

She shook her head, "I love you for saying that, but no."

I kissed her nose, because she was too beautiful not to. "Yes. I'm your husband, who takes care of you and loves you and wants to purchase things for your well being."

"And I love you that much more for saying and doing so. But no, morning coffees on me half the time. We're a partnership and so you should let me... at least half the time."

I leaned down to kiss her softly, then both of her cheeks. "But it'll make me feel more...manly and shit."

Her lips pulled into a perfect pout, and she ran her index finger slowly down my chest. "I can think of other ways to make you feel manly even before our morning coffee."

I grinned, then leaned in to kiss over her neck while pressing into her. "I know you can; this is just extra."

"Let me get the extra so I can feel like I'm being a doting wife."

I ran my hand down her thigh, while my lips worked their way across her collar bone, and over to her shoulder, sucking lightly on her skin. "Better yet, let me show you why you put up with me. I fucking love you, Bella. You're going to be my wife." It felt so good to say the words and know that we were finally _here._ We were finally inseparable.

"Mhm. Forever my soon to be husband. " She replied, her lips pressing gently to my temple. "But first, agree to let me buy the coffee every other day."

"I am your husband," I murmured. "I won't let you go, Bella." I sucked in a deep breath, then pulled away from her soft skin, smiling. "But I will only let you buy coffee every other day during the engagement period."

"Everyday, and every other once we're married." She said, her lips barely brushing over mine.

I sighed, realizing I wasn't going to win and kissed her forehead gently. "Fine, you win."

She smiled brightly, then kissed me quickly. "I want a girl first."

"With your eyes." I said, smiling back at her and hearing a small voice calling me 'Dad' and telling me to let her mother breathe. "She'll be perfect, and I love her already."

"Your eyes." Kiss. "My hair."

I pouted, "But...I want your perfect, expressive, molten, chocolate brown eyes. Why can't I have them?"

She laughed, raising an eyebrow at me. "You're sounding like King Henry the Eight again, love."

Pout. Harder. Get your way, cause it might be the last time. Ever. Especially if there were more brown eyes attached to females in my life. "Why? Because I want children as beautiful as my gorgeous wife?"

Bella smiled up at me, wrapping her arms around my neck to kiss me gently. "I could say the same for wanting children as handsome as my husband."

I laughed a little against her, completely losing focus because she was so close. It wouldn't mean anything without Bella. "As long as I get to have them with you I don't care. Honestly, I don't care." I kissed her gently. "I want them with you." Kiss. "And I'll do my best to give you a girl first." I said with a laugh.

"I suppose, I could do my part to make sure she has my eyes then." She grinned.

I grinned back at her. "I love you, Bella. I'll never know how I got this lucky, but I"m glad I get it all with you."

**BPOV**

We laid in bed, wrapped up in each other after having practiced our baby making skills. "Thank you." I mumbled into his damp skin.

He let out an exhausted laugh, tugging me closer against him. "For what?" Kiss. "I didn't do anything."

"For changing my life. I always... I never..." I stuttered out. "I never thought I could be this happy." I sat up a bit to look at him. "I'm never as happy as when I'm with you."

His lips turned up into a slow grin before pressing against my forehead. "It's us now, Love. I'm always with you, even if I'm not physically there. I'm never more than a heart beat away." He paused, moving his lips down to kiss the tip of my nose. "Thank you for showing me what loving someone really means."

I grinned and tried to hide my blush by kissing his lips softly. I pulled back just enough to breathe. "Did you eat while I was out?"

"No." Kiss. "I waited for my fuckhot wife to come home." He said, punctuating the statement with another kiss.

"We should eat then. I'm starving." I said, puffing out a laugh. "Delivery or should we go out?"

He took a deep breath, drumming his fingers on his bare chest. "Well, it depends. There's a new french bistro around the corner, and you know what's next door to that?" He asked leaning over to kiss me again.

"Hm?"

His lips found mine again before responding. "Real estate Agent."

"Okay..." I was totally lost.

"Bella, where do you go when you want to buy a house?" He chuckled, kissing the side of my mouth.**  
**  
"Oh." I was still confused... and THEN the lightbulb turned on. "We're... but I thought... you don't want to live here?"

He nodded. "I do, but I thought it might be nice to look. Do you not want a house?" He asked, moving his lips across my cheek. "Because we don't have to have one." His lips continued to cross over my lips and to my other cheek. "You taste good." He noted, proving his point by kissing me firmly on the mouth.

I couldn't help but smile. He was amazing and all I would ever need. I kissed him soundly. "What about your studio? I really like it there. It feels like home."

"You do? You're not just saying that?" He asked with a big dopey grin covering his face.

"Mhm. I love your place. Plus it's convenient for both of our jobs, and on days you don't have shoots I can come home for lunch."

His smile grew and I wondered if it could get any wider. "You're so fucking perfect. I love you, Bella. Don't ever forget that okay?" He took a deep breath, his grin dropping a little. "I know I say stupid shit sometimes, but I love you more than anything."

"Edward we've got an entire lifetime together. We're both going to say and do stupid shit." I said, laughing softly. "But I love you because I know we'll both get through it and make it work out at the end of the day."

"Promise me, Bella." He begged quietly, kissing me quickly. "Promise me we'll be together forever?" His tone was so innocent, almost frightened - as if I may say no. That was completely insane. I could never.

"I promise. It'll always be us two and what we have." I kissed him again. "One of the reasons I love you so much is because I trust you. All the secrets are out, our relationships are over and there's just... us."

He let out a ragged breath as if unable to believe what I was saying. "I love you...so fucking much."

"I know. I love you too." My stomach gurgled and I laughed. "Unfortunately I think my stomach might love food a bit more right now."

"Yeah, let's go." He agreed, moving to get up and pulling me with him. "Do you want to order?" He asked burying his face in my hair.**  
**  
"Mmm.. maybe we could make dinner? I'm pretty sure I have chicken in the freezer and some noodles."

I felt him smile against my shoulder and lift me more so I could wrap my legs around his torso. "I'll cook for you." He offered as we made our way into the kitchen.

"No no. Part of my wifely duties... making you dinner." I argued into his neck. I would never tire of being in his arms like this.

"Let me take care of you." He whispered, setting me down on the counter and kissing my forehead as he pulled away. "Please?"

I couldn't resist him when he spoke in that tone and looked at me that way; as if I was his entire universe. I nodded slowly. "Can we at least put on a piece of clothing beforehand?"

He chuckled to himself and kissed my forehead again, shaking his head. "No, it's a sunday remember?" He pulled back and began opening cabinets, grinning as he pulled out a piece of cloth and tied it around his waist. Oh lordy. "Besides, I have this wonderful apron that my wife provided."

I couldn't help but chuckle in him wearing the apron I seldom actually used. It was hideous, even for my occasionally girly tastes - bright pink with yellow flowers covering it. "You know, I've always hated that apron, but you... I didn't think it was possible to think it was a sexy piece of cloth but I'm beginning to reconsider."

"Well, you did pick it out for me." He laughed, shaking his butt in my direction. I laughed as he exaggerated the sway of his hips as he opened the fridge and pulled out some meat wrapped in butcher paper. "I found steak, but do you have a grill?"

"No. I was going to bring thoser over to Emmett's." I said moving around him to open one of the drawers and pulling out a stack of menus. "Take out then?"

"Okay." He replied, putting the steak back and shutting the fridge before turning to look at me again. "I'll get dressed and go pick it up."

I shook my head, tugging at the apron. "Someone told me it was Sunday.. we can order delivery." I murmured, moving my lips against his neck. Fuck he tasted good. I sighed. "I'm glad you were here when I came home."

He laughed against my temple, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "Where else am I gonna go?" He asked, dropping his head to kiss my lips tenderly.

"I don't know. Back to your place? I just... I'm glad you were here when I got back. I was pretty out of it on the way home."

"Yeah, I can imagine." He replied, looking up at me sympathetically. "I love you."

I smiled but the uncomfortable feeling that I'd had as James was telling me about his affair was coming back. I tried shaking it off. "So what do you want to order?"

He shrugged, stepping back to take apron off. "Whatever you want. What're you hungry for?"

"Anything. I'm starving." I said, swallowing down the sudden realization.

The airport.

The awkwardness.

The conversation with James.

"Hey Edward?" I asked sounding distant even in my own ears.

"Yeah, baby?" He asked distractedly. I could hear the pages flipping as he skimmed through the menus.

"This is ridiculous I know, but... before today, had you met James?"


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: **

**Ooooooo yet another update, kelleroni!**

**holy moly! shizz is about to hit-ith the fan... or is ittttttt?**

**hmmmmmsss...I dunnos! But you know who also doesn't know even though she owns? SMeyer.  
Well, i say we proposition her: we'll tell her what happens in secrets if she leases rob to us.**

**lol deal :P  
are we also going to resort to bribery again? sneak peak in exchange for awesome reviews?**

**Sounds like a plan! And besides, this fic is too awesome not to review!**

**duhhhhh belzo :)**

**

* * *

****EPOV**

My blood ran cold,and I'm pretty sure I froze.

Come clean, Edward.

Just do it. Cop to it now, while you still can.

Give her a chance to walk away; don't trap her.

"No, why?" I said instead, berating myself all the while. I couldn't do this to her anymore. I couldn't...it was so fucking selfish.

"I dunno. It's stupid. I guess I must be exhausted, but the interaction today was weird - at the airport I mean. And then just what James said about who he was cheating on me with.." Bella shook her head, looking away from me. "Nevermind." She said, laughing it off. "I'm just being a spazz."

Fuck, Edward do it. She's hurting because of you and she doesn't even know why. "Bella...Bella, you don't regret us...do you?" I was almost afraid of the answer because I knew that either way it would break me. No, and I would lose my future, yes and I would lose my reason for breathing; hell, even existing.

Her eyes shot up to mine and went wide. "God no, never." She whispered, moving closer to me. "Jesus... Edward, I didn't mean to imply..." She shook her head, speaking softly, and her hand ran over my jaw. "I love you. I could never regret what we have, not in a million years."

I wrapped my arms around her body, pulling her up to me and pushing my face into her shoulder. I couldn't lose her. I'd break without her. "Bella...Isabella, I love you so fucking much, you know?" She'd never be mine forever, I realized.

I was right; we did have an expiration date...and it was fast approaching.

"I know Edward." She clung to me tightly, her body pressed solidly into mine. "And tomorrow you're going to be my husband and I, your wife." She murmured, kissing my hair. "I love you with all of me. You're the only man I've ever, and am ever going to, love whole heartedly. You're my one. I'm sorry for making you upset. I didn't mean to. I was just letting my imagination run rampant. I'm sorry, love."

"No, Bella, don't. Don't ever apologize to me." I didn't deserve it. "I love you with everything I have, with everything I am. I just...Bella, I can't be without you anymore. I don't even; I can't even, Bella, I can't...I just fucking _can't."_ I whispered desperately. She had no clue what I was talking about and I was probably freaking her out but I just wanted her to know that at least that was true. Maybe if I could keep it ingrained in her mind that I needed her like I did, she'd remember it even when she found out the truth.

"Shh... Edward stop talking like I'm leaving. I'm becoming your wife tomorrow - that's the furthest thing from leaving. I love you. I Want to be yours, your wife, more than anything.""

I nodded against her, pressing a kiss on the top of her shoulder. "I want that so badly." But could I have that without telling her everything? Could I really do that to my Bella; the one person I loved more than myself and would glad give my life for?

The answer shocked me.

"And you'll have it." She said, kissing me gently. "I'm sorry I got you so upset. I really didn't mean anything by it. I just... I guess James couldn't help but play one last game." I leaned over and kissed her temple, pushing back everything while she sighed. "I'm sorry I even brought it up."

"Bella, I meant it; don't even apologize to me. You're perfect, baby. You're so fucking perfect." I sighed roughly into her shoulder, then straightened up and kissed her forehead squarely. "I'm okay, anyway. I just over reacted. I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to apologize. I love you." I kissed her forehead again. "I need to feed you, love."

"Large pepperoni pizza?" She asked, lifting up a menu.

I nodded taking the menu from her and going to get the phone. "You got it."

"My husband's the best." She said, smiling into my back while her hands moved over my stomach.

I smiled, in spite of myself more than anything, and wrapped my arm around her from behind to squeeze her against me while I ordered our food. Once the bored teenager told me it'd be 20 to 30 minutes, I spun around and kissed Bella's forehead. "We still need rings, you know."

"I know. We can like go pick out ones out of a toy machine at CVS if you want - so that we're prepared for tomorrow." Her grin was infectious, and it made me want every single one of our children to have the very same grin.

I laughed a little, shuffling the papers. "Bella, c'mon. That's really what you want?" I questioned. She had to want more than that.

"Honestly? I don't care about the ring. The only thing that matters is you're the one putting it on me."

I didn't deserve her. I always knew it, but with every word she spoke and every breath she drew it was cemented for me. "I'm so lucky you want me."

She laughed a little, coming around to look at me, a bright smile on her face. "Me too. Imagine that - a guy who will order pizza for me. My very own prince charming."

I rolled my eyes, dropping my arms from around her and going into the living room to flip on the tv. "I'm a regular superman."

I heard her trotting behind me, then she grabbed the blanket before launching herself on me. We fell to the couch laughing and she kissed my nose. "You are. What are we watching?"

"Are you cold?" I asked, wrapping the blanket around her tightly. "I'll get you some clothes, if you want."

"Yes I'm cold, but no to clothes. I have you and a blanket. Unless you were planning on going to the studio?" She asked, a worried lilt rising in her voice as she looked at me.

I furrowed my brow, looking up at her. "No, I wasn't planning on it. Did you...did you want me to?"

"God no, never." She assured me, pressing her lips to mine. "Just making sure. Would you prefer I put on clothes, Naked Chef?"

I laughed a little, wrapping my arms around her and keeping her head on my shoulder. "No, never." I pressed my lips to her temple, lingering a little. "you're perfect, Bella."

She grinned again, snuggling back against my chest. "I'm glad you think so." She murmured, while I tangled my fingers in her hair. "So when am I finally going to meet the mysterious Mama Cullen?"

Hm. Good question. "I could call her and see if we could all have dinner tomorrow, if you want. Or tomorrow, at the wedding." I laughed. "We should probably call people, huh?"

"We will need at least one witness." She reminded, "Don't you want me to meet her before we get married, just so you know if she approves of me or not before the big day?"

I shrugged. "Bella, you make me happy. You're not marrying my mother, so to be honest...I don't care what she thinks." Then I thought about it. "What about your dad? Does it bother you that I haven't met him yet?"

She shrugged, "A little, but it's not like we won't have a hundred million chances to drive up to Forks. It would bother me more if we put this off just for that reason."

"Are you sure? Bella, I just want you to be happy. Really, that's all I care about." I whispered against her hair, sniffing her a little.

"And you make me happy. You're all I need Edward. I don't need for my dad to pat your back - because I know he'll love you. And I don't need a fancy ring to tell me I'm yours. I just need... you, at the end of the day, every day, for the rest of my life."

"You have me." I murmured. Nothing in or about my life would ever be more true than that statement. That was the reason I lived and breathed. For Bella and because of Bella. Nothing else meant anything.

**BPOV**

"So do you have any news about shoots coming up?" I asked as we nibbled on a huge pepperoni pizza.

"Next week." He mumbled between bites."Trying to get rid of me, love?" He asked, a Cheshire grin spread over his lips.

I nodded and picked at the crust, pointing a piece at him. "Obviously. I want one of those husbands that's never around. Just making sure you fit the bill."

"Yeah, I could do that." He sighed, looking up at me from his half eating slice. "You're not back at work till monday, right?"

"Mhm." I confirmed, leaning into him a bit. "Why?"

"Just wondering." He shrugged, looking back down at his plate. "I'm not sure I'm ready to give you up yet."

"I hope not." I said, smiling and leaning into him for a quick kiss. "So, should we talk about like serious things that couples talk about before getting married? I feel like we missed that step, or that's an important one." I noted, trying not to sound awkward, and failing miserably. I mean, couples had indepth talks about what they wanted in their futures before making the jump, didn't they?

His lips were on mine again and I let myself get lost in him until he finally broke away and spoke. "Like what love?"

"I don't know." I replied honestly, moving his plate away and crawling into his lap under the covers. I grabbed his hand and started drawing patterns on his palm. "What's important to you, for our future?"

His arms surrounded me tightly, pulling me closer. "Having kids, being with you. I just don't want to lose us in the shuffle, you know? I think...as cliche as this is, I think we should have a date night. And maybe every other weekend, ship the kids to my mom's or your dad's so we can have sundays together." He suggested, kissing my temple and laughing quietly against it. "Does that help?"

"Mhm." Was the best response I could think of. He really was perfect. I leaned up and kissed him soundly. "I hope it's always like this between us. That we can talk this openly about anything and everything, you know? I think that's why my parents didn't make it, the communication went to hell; they stopped talking, they hid things. My mom kept secrets and lied. I think that ultimately ruined everything." I paused and laughed a little trying to ignore the memories of all the fighting and accusations between them that I witnessed growing up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your completely sweet and perfect moment."

"It's okay. It's a valid point." He sighed, pulling me even closer and pausing for a moment thoughtfully, before speaking again. "Don't let me...don't let me be too hard on them, okay?"

"You won't." I grinned, snuggling against his firm grip. "If anything I bet you'll spoil them and I'll have to be bad cop."

"I'm just worried, because I don't want to be like my dad, you know?" He started, leaning in to kiss me again. "I don't want my kids to go through that."

"Edward you are nothing like you're father. You won't be anything like him as a parent either. Plus I'm here, so whenever you feel like you're slipping I'll be there to hold you up."

"I don't want to do it without you." He exhaled, placing his lips against my hairline. "I'm just scared I'll be distant like he was, you know? I don't want them to feel like I didn't want them, or that they're not good enough. Promise you'll keep me in check?"

"I promise. Maybe we'll even surprise you at a shoot now and again." I reassured him, scratching his palm and imagining me trying to keep a handful of kids from destroying all of his expensive equipment. "You're going to be a great father, I know you will be. Edward the one thing I know our children will never go without is your love and support." I continued, twisting myself in his grasp so I was straddling him and we were eye level. I reached one hand up to cup his jaw, caressing it lightly. "You are nothing like your father now, and you will be nothing like them with our children."

He pushed his cheek against my hand, rubbing his stubble against my skin. "Because I have you."

"No, because you are perfect all on your own." I said before kissing him slowly. His lips moved like silk against my own and it was hard not to get wrapped up in them; in him. "Promise me that you'll do everything in your power to not have to spent nights at the studio, once we have a family and move out of there."

He chuckled as if the mere idea of it were absurd. "I won't ever spend a night away from you unless one of us is in the hospital or on a business trip. I will be there for every soccer game, practice, ballet recital, piano lesson, school play and field trip I'm allowed, and I will always be home to help them with their homework, give them baths and to tuck them in." He sighed, pressing his mouth to mine in confirmation. "I promise, Bella."

"If you're in the hospital, I'll take the kids to Emmett's or my dad's or your mom's or Alice's... I'll be by your side, I promise."

"I don't want you to worry about me." He countered, shaking his head. "They'll need you more than I will. But if it's you..." He sucked in a deep breath before continuing. "I won't even let your hand go."

"Edward I've worried and cared for you since before I probably should have. I'm promising you in sickness and in health - and I will be by your side in either case."

He looked up at me as if he felt guilty for me saying what I had just confessed. "I love you. I can't believe you're going to be mine forever."

I leaned my forehead against his and dusted my lips over his top lip. "It's you and me." I whispered, moving one of his hands between us to lay against the flatness of my stomach. "And someday more."

"But still us. I promise I won't let us die, Bella." He reinforced just as quietly.

"I didn't realize you had the power to make us immortal." I said with a playful grin.

He chuckled and nodded. "Now's when I tell you I'm really a vampire, and I'm gonna imbibe you with my immortal...ness."

I smirked, tilting my neck to the side. "Ready when you are." I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Is that what you want?" He asked, leaning in and barely skimming his soft lips from where my shoulder and neck met all the way up to my earlobe.I shivered at the sensation; even the lightest of his touches sent my body reeling. "Is that what you dream of?"

"I dream of being yours forever." I replied breathlessly, feeling the heat pool between my legs.

"You will be." He stated decidedly as his mouth latched onto my neck and I felt his teeth pinch my skin. I gasped in surprise and moaned immediately as his tongue darted out and began licking the spot where his lips were sucking hard, not showing any signs of letting go. My hands shot into his hair as his lips roamed over my neck and upper chest. He nipped, licked and sucked on every inch of exposed skin between my neck and the tops of my breasts. And I was too selfish to stop him.

Instead my hips rolled against his, trying to create any kind of friction to relieve some of the pressure that was building inside me. I hoped we would always have the effect on each other; always love and lust for each other with this much fervor.

We continued to make out like insatiable teenagers until my body couldn't take the teasing anymore and I finally had to pull back. "Edward..." I panted staring into his eyes.

"Yes, love?" He murmured innocently as his lips moved up to kiss my forehead.

"We should go to bed." I suggested, wrapping my legs around his torso. "And practice some more, because I think I've started to forget how you feel."

He lifted me effortlessly and began walking us to the bedroom. "Okay, love. We have a big day tomorrow."

"We do?" I said, feigning ignorance.

He nodded, grinning as he tossed me playfully onto the bed. "Yup, huge in fact." He reminded me as his body ghosted over mine.

I wound my arms around his neck and looked up at him, needing to feel closer. "What's on the agenda Mr. Cullen?"

"We're getting hitched, my love." He stated, kissing my lips quickly before nuzzling his nose against my hair.

"Oh riiiiiight, that." I teased, nipping at his neck. "Did you want to get married before or after I meet James to give him his stuff?"

"Oh, wow, I totally forgot about that." He replied, pulling back and furrowing his eyebrows in thought. After a beat, he finally responded, "After, I guess. That way, it's done with, right?"

I nodded. "Sounds good." I push my face into his neck holding onto him and breathing him in. "I love the way you smell."

He sighed, as he rolled us over so I was hovering above him. His hands skimmed my sides lightly and I relaxed against him. "I love the way you...the way you're...how you...fuck, I love that you exist." He murmured, squeezing his hands on my hips.

I laughed against him and pushed my body against his harder. "Did you ever think you would have something like this? Because, I never thought this... what we have, existed outside of fiction books and fairytales."

His head shook side to side. "Never. Bella, between what happened with my parents, and then all that crap with Tanya, I didn't think I'd ever get anything like this. I've been coming up short my whole life, and now I finally have something that makes me feel like I can do anything; like I can be anything." He professed quietly as if it was just dawning on him that what we had was real and lasting. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you so much."

"You can do anything Edward, and be anything. I have faith in you and neverending support with whatever you want to do." I kissed the spot where my lips hovered, and sighed. "Stop thanking me, you've given me as much as I've given you, if not more." I pulled back to look at him directly and kissed him.

"Love, would you mind just holding me all night? I feel the jet lag setting it." I murmured quietly against his lips.

"Sleep, love. I'll be here." He nodded, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me flat against him.

We rolled over so we were both on our sides, my back against his chest. "I know, and I love that I can trust you will be." I turned around and pushed my face against his chest. "You're the best pillow ever." I mumbled, kissing his bare chest and feeling his arms tighten around me. "I love you Edward." I whispered just before I felt myself slip into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning I woke up in nearly the same position we had fallen asleep in. Edward was on his back and I was flopped over his chest, his arms gripping my arms tightly.

I heard Edward mumble and I looked up, finding his eyes still shut. "Hm?" I whispered. "What did you say, love?"

"Shit." He grumbled in a voice thick with sleep.

"What's wrong?"

"Bella?" He asked tentatively, not opening his eyes yet.

"Edward, I'm here." I replied softly, running my fingers through his hair.

His arms pulsed around my body and he held me even closer. "I had the worst dream that you left."

Aww. I'd had that dream, well more like relived it in dreams of the time we had tried to be apart. My heart tore in two and I kissed his cheeks, his chin and his lips. "No, I'm here. I promise." I brought his hand up to the side of my face and kissed his palm. "See, I'm right here."

"I hate it when you're not with me. I can't breathe right, you know?" He sighed, opening his eyes slowly. "I just feeling like I'm drowning and no one else notices."

"I know." I replied, leaning my forehead against his. "But I'm always with you. You have my heart.. And if you need me, anytime I'll be there."

"I will never not need you." He murmured, puffing out a laugh as if just the very notion of him feeling otherwise was ridiculous. His lips met mine quickly after and he smiled. "Good morning, love."

"Morning." I beamed, kissing him again for good measure.I yawned into his chest and flopped back down against him, chest against bare chest. "How'd you sleep?"

He chuckled again, looking at me as if I was his whole world as his his hand ran lines up and down my back. "Okay. You? I love you."

"Fantastic." I rested my chin on his chest, looking up at him to kiss his jaw. "Do you want breakfast in bed?"

He kissed my lips again before responding. "Do you? I don't mind." He said, moving one hand up to brush a few runaway strands of hair from my eyes. "I didn't get to cook for you last night."

"Yea, but I should get practice in for cooking for our family." I replied, pushing up and sitting on my knees straddling him. I moved a few more hairs behind my ear and smiled down at him. I rocked against his hips a little, grinning. "Cereal or eggs and toast?"

He scooted up, leaning against the headboard and pulling me with him, his hands gripping my hips. "How about waffles?" He murmured into my neck as his lips worked over his favorite place.

"I have neither waffle mix nor a waffle press. So unless you want me fully clothed running out for half an hour to buy those..." I sighed, unable to stop myself from moving against him.

He let out a burst of air that sounded like a moan-slash-laugh as his lips moved to the other side of my neck. "Baby, don't you know your husband is a breakfast genius?" He questioned, biting my skin. "That just means it's pancakes."

"But I wanted to make you breakfast." I pouted, tilting my head to give him better access.

"Mmmm." He hummed, pulling back and looking up at me with a smile. "Okay. Cereal's fine." He agreed, kissing my pout. "And you'd better be eating with me."

"I will." I moved my arms around his neck and kissed him hard grinding into him and rolling my hips before pulling my lips from his hesitantly. "Trix or Honey Nut Cheerios?"

"Ung." He groaned, tilting his head back. "Cheerios."

"Okay." I whispered, nipping at his neck before moving off his lap and reaching for my (and by mine, I mean his) favorite jacket from the closet and throwing it on.

I was so far beyond cloud nine, I couldn't ever imagine feeling my feet touch the ground again.

And once we were married, I would never have to.


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: BELZO! IM SO EXCIIIIIIIIITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIIIIIIIIIIDE IT!

lols I can tell :P could it be cause we have another chappo of los secrets?

duhhhhhhhhhhhh :D :D :D :D :D :D

lols. I'm excited...cause this is sooooo epic. But you know what? It's still completely lame that Smeyer owns

I agree. Thankfully we've got reviewers that don't mind a little (and by a little, I mean a lot) of smut. :)

duhhh, cause our reviews are the best!

so maybe... since it's been like... **months **people may want to leave one, after this chap? Please? Maybe?

i hope so...cause if there's one thing that's the best in the world,it's reviewing :)

* * *

**EPOV**

Bella came back a few minutes later with two bowls, two boxes of cereal and the bottle of milk. I laughed, pushing myself up as she hopped back in bed. "Thanks, love."

She pulled off her (my) jacket, and threw it across the end of the bed. She passed me a bowl then arranged herself. "The bowl is full, I just wasn't sure if you were a one bowl kinda guy or two."

"Depends on how hungry I am." I said with an eyebrow wiggle. "Hey, isn't today our wedding day?"

"It is." She nodded, taking a spoonful of cereal. "Why, getting cold feet?" She smirked.

"No, I was just thinking." I told her, chewing a little. "Shouldn't you be freaking out and like...getting your hair curled? Isn't that what chicks do when they get married?"

"Do you want me to curl my hair?" She asked, sounding slightly self conscious as she put down her bowl and picked at the ends of her hair. "I don't know, I've never planned on getting married so I don't know what I should or shouldn't be doing. So I figure I'll just do what comes natural, what calms me down and makes me happy - and that's just being with you."

I put my bowl on the nightstand and pulled her over to me. "I love you. And I don't care what you do as long as you say 'I do'. Whatever you want, Bella. Today is gonna be whatever you want."

I just needed her to know that I would do anything for her; protected her from everything and catch her if she fell. My wife; she was going to be_ my wife._

I felt her relax against me, her lips pressing into the column of my neck. "I promise, I will." She said, then sat back, grinning. "I want to practice."

I looked up at her, not following. "For..."

She grabbed my hand, her eyes never leaving mine. "For this part, because I'm going to be so nervous and excited." She said, pulling off her own engagement ring and smiled at me. "I Bella Swan, take you Edward Cullen to be my husband." She said, sliding the ring onto part of my pinkie. "To love and cherish in sickness and in health, in Seattle or the Amazon, for richer or poorer, for the the rest of my life."

I laughed a little and smiled up at her. "It's my turn then?" She nodded a little, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth and trying to surpress her grin. I pulled her ring off my finger, sitting up a little so my forehead was resting against hers. "I, Edward Cullen, take you Isabella Swan, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I had to kiss her because she was right there. "To love and to cherish, in sickness, broken bones, and in health." I slid the ring on a little, running my fingers over the skin on her palm. "For richer, for poorer." I slid it on completely, and looked up at her. "Until I cease to exist."

"I love you." She murmured, her lips fusing to mine. "thank you for wanting this with me."

I cupped the back of her head in my hand and lingered just over her lips. "Never without you; never with anyone _but_ you."

Bella moved to straddle me, and her hips started moving rhythmically against me. "Show me."

Gladly, I thought, pressing her closer to me and pushing my cock against her. "Baby, I want you so fucking bad," I told her, lifting her a little so that she was square over my dick. Her hands moved to my hair and she was panting against me. "Then have me."

Simple enough, and somehow I knew I already did.

I nodded, lifting her a little higher and slowly settled her down on my cock. She adjusted for a second, and right when I thought I'd explode without any friction, she started moving. Her hips were rounding over mine in slow, heavy circles and I could feel her clit mashing against my pubic bone, making her shiver. At first I was content to have her ride me, but it soon became too much.

I wanted to give her what she gave me and I wanted her to feel what I felt when she was with me. I couldn't be without her anymore.

"Fuck, Edward..." She moaned, her hips starting to move faster as she bounced on my cock. Fuck, she was beautiful.

"What, baby," I mumbled, my hands drifting over her breasts, and then down the smooth skin of her stomach. "Tell me what you want."

"You...me...fuck...I need...to come," She panted, moving even faster as my fingers found her clit. "EDWARD!" She screamed, arching against me as I bit down on her neck, meeting her thrusts with my own.

"Then do it, baby," I commanded, my thumb circling her clit harder as i felt her walls begin to flutter around me. "Come all over my cock."

And then she did. Her breasts arched into my chest, her pussy gripping my cock like a vice grip. God, she was perfect. I pushed all the way into her before I finally let go, shooting my load into her depths.

Bella rolled off of me, but I pulled her into my side, pressing my lips to her forehead. I couldn't lose her. It was in every breath I drew and everything I saw. I couldn't be without her. "I feel like we're doing this backwards."

She readjusted, turning to look at me but pulled herself closer. "How do you figure? We had a practice ceremony, that was our practice honeymoon." She smirked. "You haven't seen anything yet."

I smirked into her hair. "I haven't?"

"You let out my inner nypho. You better build your stamina for the honeymoon. Once we don't have to use protection, I'm going to be begging for it even more. I love how it feels when you let go with no barrier."

I groaned, pulsing my arms around her and buried my face in her hair. "Don't...don't ever leave."

She wrapped her arms more tightly around me and pressed her lips against my cheek. "I have no intention of doing any such thing."

"Good." I murmured. Maybe she'd never find out; why would she have to, right? I mean, what did it matter? It's not like she loved James. It was just that the one person she trusted more than anyone else with her fucking heart was keeping an insane secret from her. I wondered why James hadn't just given it up yesterday. I knew he was pissed, that much was obvious, but he hadn't told Bella anything. It was a stroke of luck, but at the same time it might have been the final nail in my coffin. There was no way I could tell her now. She'd leave. And as selfish as it was, I couldn't let that happen.

She started to rumble a little, and I looked down at her scrunched up face. "I don't want to get up."

"No one asked you to." I whispered, trying to curl myself more tightly around her.

"I have to. I' have to get James' stuff together and get ready to meet him."

"And this must be done?" I grumbled, not really liking the thought of letting her go.

"The sooner I get it done, the sooner we can get married." SHe murmured, brushing her lisp to mine before kissing me soundly.

"Sooner we skip it, the sooner we can get married." I countered, rolling her over and kissing her again. "We haven't even done the post fucking nap yet."

I'll get James' things together and get ready; you nap. I'll leave a note if you're still asleep before I leave."

I pouted into her skin. "But...but...I want you. I want you with me." I was acting like a five year old, and it was probably not attractive, but I was beyond caring. "I love you."

"Okay, how about I nap with you til you fall asleep, then I'll get going." Kiss. "Edward, once I give James this box of his crap, it'll be done, 100% over with. It'll just be you, me and our life. No more lies, or any of the baggage."

I nodded against her because there was really nothing I could say. I had to tell her; I just had to. She deserved as much. She needed to know the truth because she was too fucking perfect not to. "I love you, Bella, no matter what." I whispered, burying my face in her shoulder and clinging to her with everything I had. Without Bella, I had nothing at all.

I woke up as I heard Bella's car backing out of the driveway, so I showered and changed, trying to figure out what to do without her around. Then the phone rang. I wanted it to be Bella so badly, but unfortunately, it wasn't.

"Hey Ballsac whatcha doin?"

I rolled my eyes and poured the coffee. "Nothing, Rose, what's up?"

She laughed into the phone, "Nothing. Mom wanted to have lunch with us this afternoon. Can you make it?"

"Uh, yeah sure. What time?"

"2:30. We're meeting at the hospital."

"Okay, Rosie, I'll see you then." Rose texted me eight times that afternoon to make sure I would be on time, and she was even waiting for me at the front doors of the hospital.

"Hiya, handsome!" She said, linking her arm through mine.

"Hey, Rose." I kissed the side of her head and we headed in to find our mother.

"No Jasper?" I asked.

"No, he's got something going on with Alice. The Max's like, holistic shit or something." Rose and I both rolled our eyes at the mention of Alice's latest obsession with Max's spiritual well being. In my opinion, all he needed was some dirt on his knees and a smile on his face. That would make him a happy camper.

"Edward? That'd better be my Rosalie on your arm!" I heard my mother call.

"Hey." I smiled at her as she leaned up and kissed both of us on the cheek.

"Listen you two, I'm almost ready to go. Just let me drop off my coat and grab my bag. I shouldn't be longer than a moment."

I nodded and let my eyes wander around the space, and I felt Rose's head lean against my shoulder. I really didn't see her enough. My mother put some paper work on the other side of the desk, then something over my shoulder caught her attention.

"Bella! Honey, is that you?"

I froze immediately. Bella? No, it couldn't be _my_ Bella... it couldn't-

"Um, hi Dr. Cullen."

Shit.

_Hey, Bella. I love you._

**BPOV**

James and I agreed to meet at the hospital - neutral territory - to exchange what we had each left at the other's apartment. I had texted him to see if he was free, and if not, where and who I could give this stuff to. I just wanted to be done with our entire fucked up relationship once and for all.

I just wanted to be on a completely fresh plain without anything to stop me from marrying Edward; not that the cardboard box of miscellaneous sweatshirts and lighters would have.

James had texted me back almost immediately saying my stuff was in his car at the hospital and to meet him there in an hour. I ran a few miscellaneous errands before finally getting to the hospital about ten minutes early.

I waited.

And waited.

I had been waiting over half an hour for James, without so much as a text from him. He had probably gotten a new call, so I wasn't worried; I knew I could be waiting awhile. I turned back towards the main set of doors and saw Dr. Cullen round the corner. She smiled and waived at two people facing away from me, one with a familiar mop of bronze hair. I felt my legs move towards them as I tried to see if I wasn't just seeing Edward in random places now. And then it all began to make sense.

The head of the ER was a Dr. Cullen.

Edward's mom was a doctor.

Edward's last name was Cullen.

Oh my god.

"Bella! Honey, is that you?" Her voice rang out.

My cheeks immediately turned pink as Edward's surprised face and his stoic blonde haired sister turned to face me. "Um, hi Dr. Cullen."

She smiled warmly and elbowed herself between the two to stand in front of them. Her arms wrapped around me in a hug and I returned the gesture. "What are you doing here? Did you fall again?"

She turned her head to the side speaking to Edward and Rosalie. "Bella's biggest nemesis seems to be her own two feet." She chided, laughing quietly to herself. "Oh, wait! Where are my manners!" She turned so she could face all of us. "Bella, this is my son Edward and my daughter Rosalie. Edward, Rosalie this is my all star patient, Bella -"

"Swan." Edward's voice murmured, as his eyes remained fixed on me.

"Why... yes? Do you two know each other?"

"Um well.."  
"Yes."

He and I said at the same time. Rosalie and Dr. Cullen turned to face each other and smirked.

"Um well, yes?" Dr. Cullen asked, trying to clarify. She paused looking from him to me and back and her face softened with recognition. "Wait, Edward is this Isabella, _the _Isabella?"

He grinned and nodded, "Of course she is."

I bit my lip, trying to hide the blush as my eyes cast down. She wrapped her arms around me again, and I returned the embrace. "I'm glad you two have met." She murmured.

I felt my face go a deeper shade of red as she pulled away, smiling sweetly at me.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I returned the smile looking over at Edward who was grinning so widely you could fit a football in his mouth.

"Bella dear, you should join us for lunch - there's much to discuss." I looked over to Edward who was in front of me but just to the side. "I don't want to impose..." I trailed off.

"Oh nonsense dear, Edward you don't mind if she comes to lunch with us do you?"

He glanced down quickly, looking up at me through his lashes. "Will you come to lunch, please?"

How could I say no? My heart was racing and the hairs on my arms were standing on end. You don't fucking say no, that's just it.

I nodded a little and turned to face Esme. "I'd love to."

"Wonderful!" She said as I followed their lead and began walking with them towards the exit doors. Edward hung back a bit and I felt his hand wrap around mine. I looked down at our entwined fingers and smiled, looking up at him.

"It's just too bad Tanya isn't here. After her phone call this morning saying you two had finally set a date, I figured she'd want to come along so we could start planning." Esme said more to Rose as she continued to walk in front of us.

"Set a date?" I asked, stopping dead in my tracks. Esme and Rose stopped to turn around and look at Edward and I. Immediately I pulled my hand from his. "Yes dear, have you met Edward's fiancee, Tanya?"

I let out a discrete exhale and nodded. "Once."

She smiled faintly and nodded. "Probably for the best, Tanya isn't the biggest fan of Edward having female friends." She shook her head as if clearing her mind from a bad memory. "Regardless, didn't Edward tell you? Oh heavens, perhaps you haven't had time dear." She continued looking at him. "I didn't mean to let the cat out of the bag."

Edward eyes blinked rapidly, shaking his head as if confused. But maybe it was all an act? "Mom, what're you... Tanya? You must be confused. Tanya and I-"

"Set the date. I know dear, she called me this morning and said that you two had patched up the little miss communication and things were better. I think it's wonderful that you two aren't planning a big to-do and are getting married at the Lakehouse next month."

Rosalie turned to her brother and I was thankful that all eyes were on him. I felt the blood drain from my face and instead of going beet red I felt about as pale as a piece of binder paper. They... reconciled? Why? Because of last night and James? But he and I had talked... he said he understood. Edward was about to speak but the words left my mouth first.

"Dr. Cullen have you seen James?"

Her eyes darted to me and she smiled, shaking her head. "No dear. Though I heard he just got his scheduled changed. You must be thrilled he'll have more time for you."

I didn't bother looking at Edward as I smiled. "I hadn't heard the news of it changing again, but I'm sure it'll be good for us." I said, the bile churning in my stomach.

"Oh, is that why you're here then?" She asked, tilting her head curiously.

I nodded. "Yes, I was away on... _business _and I came by to see him on his break."

"Well isn't that lovely."

I nodded, suddenly seeing my way out of this situation. "It was great seeing you, but I _really _have to find James. I... I need to revisit something with him." Edward's eyes snapped to mine and widened.

"Oh of course dear. If I see him when I get back I'll let him know you were here and to call you."

I mustered up the sweetest smile I could. "Great, thank you. Oh - and it was great to see you again Rosalie... Edward." I replied turning on my heels and walking back towards my seat to wait.

Well, I guess being in a hospital was the best place to be when your heart stopped.

**EPOV**

I was going to fucking kill Tanya. What the hell was going on? What was my life? This could _not_ be happening.

I walked in a daze with the two of them to a little restaurant around the corner from the hospital. All I wanted to do was go back there, and hope that Bella knew it wasn't true, because I sure as fuck had no idea what was going on. A date? Tanya had set a date? God, this all fucking sucked.

Rosalie took my hand and led me over through the restaurant like I was five, and I sat in between them at the table.

"So, Honey, you must be excited." My mother said, buttering a roll after the waiter took our order.

"Uh... about what?" Losing the love of my life? Having to go to jail for murdering my exgirlfriend? Oh, yeah. I was completely thrilled.

"Your wedding, silly goose!" She said, exchanging a look with my sister.

"I..." I let my sentence trail off. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say or do that this point. I had no fucking idea what was happening. After that no one really talked to me. I supplied the necessary "yeahs" and 'mhms' but beyond that, I wasn't worth anything. All I could think about was what Bella would say to me when I saw her again- if I saw her again. We ordered, I ate, let them chat about place settings then I was allowed to leave.

Maybe Bella would still be at the hospital...

"Edward," My mother called, pulling me back into the moment. "Can I have a word?"

I gulped and nodded, following her up to her office. No Bella, I noticed. I took a seat in the chair across from her desk and slumped down.

"Honey, what's going on?" She sat next to me, pulling her chair closer and running her hand through my hair.

"Nothing. Everything's fine." NO! I wanted to shout, everything was NOT fine. Fine was the very last thing that could be used to describe me.

"Edward, I'm your mother. I know when you're fine, and you certainly aren't fine."

I sighed, "I know. But it's just... God, everything is so screwed up."

She sighed and pushed the hair off of my forehead. "What is it sweetheart? What's wrong?"

"Tanya and I broke up. A few weeks ago."

"Ah." My mother said, her hand moving down to my shoulder. "I thought as much."

"And I've been seeing Bella."

"You have?" She asked, sounding surprised. "Then why was she-"

"Because he won't leave her alone. He's being horrible to her, Mom. And I'm such an idiot." I lamented, rubbing my face with my hands.

"Edward, all you have to do is explain to Bella that is was a misunderstanding. She'll understand."

I shook my head, "No. She won't. She'll be pissed, just like she should be. And what about Tanya? What the hell does all of this mean? That I _have _be with her?" Please, kill me now.

"Honey, it doesn't matter what's expected of you, nor what even Tanya wants. If you're unhappy, then there's no point. You don't have to be a martyr for the rest of your life."

I shook my head, "I can't be with, Tanya. Mom, I can't do it."

My mother ran her hand across the back of my neck, whispering. "That's okay, Sweetheart. You don't have to."

I nodded and she leaned in, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "I have to get back to work, but call me if you need me honey. Or you can always stop by."

"I know, Mom. Thanks." I gave her a small smile and pressed a kiss into her hair. I walked out completely sure of two things: I wanted Bella, and I needed to be with her.

Forever.

But first, I just had to find her.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: Kellyo...dare we peek out?

i dunnos... everyone seems mad

oui but...this is the end :(

yea... but hey, at least we can say it's been fun right? i mean, with soap operas coming to an end, this was kinda like a fanfic soap... sorta.

lols, kinna...but it has been fun. Our second collab!

i know! yay! :D you know who prolly woulda had better writing, had she collabed? SMeyer - the lady that owns these characters.

Yeah...prolly would've been a lot citrus-y-er too :P

Definitely. She shoulda collabed with the chick who is doing the screenwriting for BD- the chick from Dexter.

ohhhh, right right! Although...it wouldn't have been as cool as ours :)

Definitely not. Lols. But hey! even though we got a ton of hate-reviews, we still appreciate the feedback so how about one more time? A review is worth a thousand words - even if it's only 50.

The very last time. And thanks so much for leaving them...we appreciate it :)

* * *

**BPOV**

I waited... and waited and James never showed. It was nearing 3:30 when I felt my phone vibrate.

**Sorry babe got held up on a job. Hope you aren't still there. I'll stop by your place tonight when I'm on break. See you soon**

Ugh, yeah let me go wait at home for him to come by and tell them that I was still set on us not getting back together. Oh, who was I kidding? Without even the possibility of Edward, what the fuck difference did it make if James and I got back together? I stood and shoved my phone back in my pocket. I reached over the seat to grab my bag and turned around, seeing Edward walking down the hall, head down.

Shit balls. I had to get out of there, fast. There was no way I was prepared to handle any explanation he had to give - assuming I'd even get one.

As if he could hear my fucking heart pounding, his eyes shot up and locked with mine. "Bella!" he yelled, picking up his pace and jogging down the hall towards me.

Fuck, I'd be caught. Fanfuckingtastic.

I stood there and let out an exaggerated breath, shifting my purse on my shoulder. "Hey Edward." I greeted as aloofly as I could.

"Listen, do you have a sec to talk really quick?"

I shook my head. "Nope sorry. I was just on my way out." I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm at my elbow. "Come on Bella, 5 minutes." My head turned back to look at him and I rolled my eyes shaking his hand off me. I shrugged and sighed, waving my arm to get his hand off me. It wasn't calming and soothing; now his touch was laced with fire and cynaid. It was poison.

I walked down the hall in search of an empty room. Five doors down, I found one and walked inside, pivoting to look at him arms crossed.

His eyes fell as he took in my defensive stance. "Bella, it's not true. None of it is true. I promise." He said, reaching his arm out for me.

I squirmed away, taking a step back. "Which part? Getting back together with Tanya and setting a date? Or you loving me?" I scoffed and looked up at the ceiling willing the tears near the surface not to spill over. "Edward, you _do _realize it's illegal to be married to two women, don't you?"

I heard and felt his movement as he stepped closer to me. "No, Bella... Baby... just you. You and me. That's it. No Tanya." My head dropped down to see him shaking his head. "Baby, she doesn't even figure into it any more."

I looked at him like, what the fuck. I mean really. "She definitely factors in if you set a date. Which evidently you did." I paused looking down at my hand and the engagement ring that was feeling heavier and heavier every minute. "Did you at least get in a good makeup fuck before you re popped the question?" I snapped, glaring up at him.

His head moved back as if what I was saying was completely absurd. "Bella, we didn't set a fucking date. When would I have had the time to do that? I was with you last night, fucking you. I was with you this morning before you left, and then I came to meet my mom and Rose. I'll call Tanya and figure this shit out, because I promise this was just as much of a shock to me as it was to you."

"I don't know... how about when I was telling James that I was cheating on him. That I was leaving him. That I knew I didn't love him anymore." I yelled, leaning forward a bit. "There were a few hours between there where it would have been _really _easy to smooth everything over. Did you do it because you thought I wasn't coming home to you, that I would really pick James over you?"

His forehead creased with lines and his body changed from one of apology to defensive and angered as he leaned towards me hands moving up into the air. "So what if I did? Bella, you went with him yesterday after we got home. You walked away, hand in hand with him. Maybe you fucked him in the car on the way home. Maybe you're just doing this to me to get me to fuck off."

"So you DID!" I yelled, unable to stop the silent tears from falling. "And how could you even say that about me Edward? I told you at the airport that I needed to do this right, that I needed to make sure he fucking got it through his skull that there was NO CHANCE of him and I getting back together. I love you, I want to be with YOU forever. Not James, not anyone else - YOU Edward fucking Cullen. I wanted to be your wife and raise a family with YOU. And you said you understood. So what, that was just a lie too?" I asked rhetorically. "Should have known, if there's one thing you're fucking good at it's lying to me."

"Thanks, Bella. That's awesome. Fucking throwing shit in my face." He sneered, taking yet another step closer and dropping his voice to a tone that was both quiet and biting. "I did what I thought was best at the time. Was it fucked up? Yes, but I will not take it back. I won't let you go. That's a fucking promise. Just forget Tanya, okay? I haven't fucked her, I don't want to fuck her and we certainly aren't getting married. How clear do I have to make it?"

"Does SHE know you two aren't getting married? Because it seemed pretty fucking clear that everyone except you was aware of the wedding - and me being there seems like a pretty good reason to feign ignorance to the topic."

"Fucking christ, Bella" He shouted frustratedly, turning and shoving his fist into the plaster wall. I jump back a bit, his reaction scaring me. "I don't fucking know what the hell is going through her head because I haven't spoken to her in _weeks._ Had you been there or not, I still wouldn't have known."

My eyes went wide and I didn't know what to say. My heart was pounding with hurt and anger and now fear. I never thought I'd be scared of Edward. "I don't believe you." I said, my voice weak and unsteady as I skirted around him walking towards the door.

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe how fucking thick she was being. She wouldn't even listen to me. I ran after her and grabbed her wrist and popping the lock on the door. I looked straight into her defiant eyes, for the first time, not completely sure what to do next.

"What the fuck do you want me to say? Hm? That I'm marrying her? What, Bella? Tell me what you want and you'll have it; just like always."

"No, not like always Edward. Because all I've ever wanted since I met you WAS you. And I've never had you, not fully, have I? Any chance we make for ourselves, you back out of." She wiggled out of my grasp and pulled away.

I sighed and kept my eyes on her. I had no idea how this was happening, but apparently it was. "Bella, you'll have me. You never lost me. What else do I have to say to make you believe me?"

"I don't know. You seem to be good at hiding things from me when you think it'll hurt our relationship. How do I know you're not doing it now?"

I sighed, "Because we're so fucking far beyond that point, it's ridiculous."

"So there's NO more secrets? Nothing you're not telling me?" She asked, looking at me skeptically.

I couldn't do it; I couldn't look at her, and say nothing. "There is something else. And I guess I should just tell you, since I'm fucked anyway." She was leaving, anyway. It was done.

"SEE! I knew it." She gasped, her breath coming out in pants. "You promised me there was NOTHING left to hide at the Lakehouse. You swore to me it was done, that we would have no more secrets."

I nodded, my voice dropping to a whisper. "I know. I'm sorry."

"No... sorry isn't enough anymore Edward." She replied.

I sighed, still looking at the floor. "I know."

"Here." She said. I looked up and she was sliding her ring off of her finger. No.

My breath hitched and I stepped away from her. "No, it's yours."

She shook her head and moved closer to me, still holding the ring out in front of her. "No, it's for you to give to your fiancee. And I'm - I'm not that girl anymore."

I took another step. "I... I bought it for you. It's yours. Whether or not we're getting married." My heart broke when I realized what was happening.

She shook her head adamant. "I can't keep this Edward. Please, just... take it." she said, her voice serious yet trembling with emotion.

I backed up to the door, "I can't. It... it belongs to you. Sell it, if you want."

"Edward, please." Her eyes closed, and the tension was radiating off of her. "Please, I can't... I don't want to keep this. It'll hurt too much to keep."

I shook my head, I could barely speak. "Sell it, then. Bella, please, keep it."

She grabbed my hand and dropped her ring in my palm. "Edward, you don't have to keep it yourself but you can't expect me to. You bought the ring. Just... give it to the next girl that comes along thinking you're the one." She said, brushing past me and walking out the door.

I was after her in two strides and spun her around quickly. I smashed my lips to hers forcefully and not in a loving, needy way. It was urgent and necessary. I couldn't let her go yet; I just couldn't. I pulled away slowly, my eyes closed as I leaned my forehead to hers. "I love you. You are the one."

Then I left.

I probably wouldn't see her again, but I'd be thinking of her always.

**BPOV**

I drove back to my apartment with a mixture of confusion, anger and just fucking GRRRRRR. Is that even an emotion? Well it fucking is now. Part of me wanted to turn around and go back to the hospital. I mean, what if Edward had been telling the truth and Tanya really was that insane? Then again, what kind of person WOULD be that insane? Of course he was lying! God I was going to give myself a fucking annurism. Maybe I was the insane one...

It was nearly 11 and I had spent the better part of 6 hours vegging out in front of my TV watching something... couldn't tell you what because my head was STILL reeling from Edward. I felt my phone buzz and pulled it out frantically flipping it open.

"Edward?" I gasped into the receiver.

"Haha no, hun. Just me." I heard James' voice echo sinisterly on the other end.

"Oh, hey." I replied into the receiver, trying not to sound disappointed.

"...Babe?"

"Hm? What?"

James chuckled into his phone. "I was asking why you seemed so anxious for it to be Edward."

"Oh, um..." Shit. Tell the truth, or not? "Actually," I sighed, realizing this was my shot to not wind up an old spinster. "Actually, he and I broke up today so I was wondering if it was him." I just left out the part where I was hoping it was him because I needed to hear I'd overreacted and that everything I'd found out today was bullshit and he was bringing Tanya over to prove it.

"Oh, well... I'd say I'm sorry but come on Bels, you had to know it was coming..." He trailed off continuing as he had the day before; as if he knew something I didn't. Fantastic. Paranoid Bella running amok again. I snapped out of it just as he was starting to talk again.

"Hey listen, are you home? Cuz I can be there in 5."

"Yea, I'm home... call me when you're outside."

"K, will do. See you in a few."

And true to his word, not even 5 minutes later I heard James honk - not call - from outside my apartment complex. I ran down in my pjs and a pair of flip flops, my hair in a floppy mess of a ponytail.

He unlocked the cab door and I hopped in. "Where's Laurent?" I asked peering around for his partner.

"Oh, he wanted to eat at the Arby's, to give us some time alone," He told me with a grin. I was _not_(rebound?) fucking James in the cab of an ambulance.

"Oh? Why, what's up?"

He moved closer to me and patted my knee. "You didn't even get dressed?"

"What?"

"Well, you didn't - never mind, it doesn't matter," He said brushing a few strands of hair out of my face.

His lips dusted over mine softly and I felt him smile. "You know I love you Bells."

"Yea, I know..." I said as he pulled away staring into my eyes.

"And I think I figured out how to fix us. Especially now that, that douche is out of the fucking picture."

I leaned back a bit, taken by surprise and choking down the protectiveness that encouraged me to defend Edward. "What?"

"Well, one of our biggest problems is that we don't see each other enough right?"

"Sure, yeah, I guess. Yeah."

He reached into his pocket pulling out something shiny. A key.

"What is this?" I asked as he dangled it between us.

"A key Bells, obviously." He stated, chuckling to himself as if it were obvious.

"No shit, sherlock. To what?" I snapped back, watching it dangle from the keyring.

"My apartment. I think we should move in together - if you want to that is."

"What?" I asked in complete disbelief.

"Well this is a key to my place, but I can move into yours or we can find somewhere new. All that matters is that it's ours."

I stared at him in utter shock.

"So? How bout it Bells? Are you ready to really commit?"

I ignored the fact that the pot was calling the kettle black and let my lips curled up into a slow (but hesitant) smile. I had to move on, I had to still go through the motions of life, even if I did them from now on without emotions.

My mouth pressed against James' and I nodded as I continued to kiss him trying to feel even a flicker of the love and passion I had for Edward, in his lips. I broke away slowly and grabbed the key. "New apartment, and definitely."

**EPOV**

I raced home, and thank fucking god Tanya was home. I threw open the door, not really caring if I saw James' naked ass running through the back yard.

"TANYA!" I called, going into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"What's up, sweetie?" She came into the kitchen dressed in a fucking robe. Sweetie my ass.

"Why the hell would you tell my mother that we set a date?"

Her jaw dropped and I just stared at her. She had fucked up my shit and I was over it. "I... I... thought that's what you wanted."

"I wanted to be done with you! I thought you realized that when I fucking broke up with you!"

"I didn't think you'd care!" She yelled, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "You... you always just said you wanted to do it, so I did! I thought you'd be happy..."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I would have been if you'd done this years ago. I would have been happy if I loved you any more. I would have been happy if I even _wanted_ to marry you."

She sniffed again, putting her arms around her torso. "I'm sorry."

I pushed off the counter and walked to the door. "Too late."

"Edward! Edward, please!" She called after me. "There has to be something I could say."

I turned, looking back at her sad eyes and for the first time in a long time I felt numb. "No, there's nothing. Just leave me alone."

And I left. I walked away from seven years of work, pain, love, sex, laughs, fights... and I didn't regret it. The only thing I wanted was to have Bella back.

But I couldn't. And I knew it was my fault.

I got back in the volvo and somehow I ended up at my mom's. I didn't even get a chance to knock. "Sweetheart?"

I started breathing heavily. "It's over. All of it. It's over."

She sighed, holding her arms out to me. "It'll be okay, love."

I pushed my face into her neck, feeling more and more like a terrified little boy. "No, it won't. Nothing... nothing will mean anything without Bella."

I felt her head drop to rest against mine as her hands rubbed over my back. "It will work out, Baby. You'll see. You deserve to be happy."

"Not any more. Not after what I've done."

"Yes, Baby. Everyone. Even after whatever it is that you've done."

I sighed, feeling the tears leak from my eyes.

I didn't.

But I wanted Bella.

And I was ready to do anything to get her back.


	43. Epilogue

let's keep this brief, here's the a/n:  
we don't own, SMeyer does. She also owns all HEAs because god forbid there not be one  
this is the EP.  
There is a HEA (so don't get your panties in a bunch). This fic was also A/H, canon, OOC (a ton), and... what other disclaimers should we have given at the beginning that we failed to?

Evidently we did. Listen, it's one thing to not agree with choices and to say so, but if you're going to be rude...don't do it here. This isn't the place.

* * *

**BPOV**

Relationships are messy.

Relationships on the sly are even messier.

Four months later and all I can say is I was thankful for Edward, but not how we happened... or how we ended.

I thought of him constantly. I thought about him while I was watching TV, or ordering takeout, or doing my laundry.

He was in my every thought and yet, I didn't call.

I didn't want to know that he had married Tanya, or that he hadn't but hadn't reached out to me either.

And so, even after James and I broke up, a week after we had reconciled (who was really surprised by that?), I stayed away.

I had realized very quickly, that it was better to be alone than in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship.

The second time around, James took the break up better; I personally think it was because his ego wasn't bruised because I was leaving him for someone else. It was pretty undramatic, actually. We exchanged boxes of stuff we'd had at the other's apartments the same day we had the break up and I hadn't heard from him since.

Though despite what people say, time does not heal all wounds; I was still hurting every day I went without Edward. I kept hoping that each blocked number call I received was his.

But it never was, and really, I shouldn't have expected it to be. I had been insane that day, throwing out accusations and yelling...

It had been four months and four days since I'd seen Edward; I know that because I had counted.

Diligently.

But I couldn't think about him today.

No, today was moving day. After much deliberation and apartment hunting I had finally found a really nice apartment in downtown Seattle. It was close enough to my job so that I could walk to work, and still far enough out to not cost ninety percent of my paycheck.

Emmett had driven up from Portland to help me with the move and hang out for a couple days while I settled in.

"Beldorf! You gotta be my eyes while I move this mattress!" Emmett hollered from the top of my staircase. I ran from the moving truck to the bottom of the stairs. "Okay Em, one foot in front of the other. They're just stairs."

"Shut up, I know that. I just need to know when I'm approaching the last one and make sure I don't take off a piece of the railing." I laughed to myself as I remembered the time my freshman year of college when he took off a piece of the wooden staircase railing trying to move my dresser. He made it down the stairs and I guided him again up the narrow ramp to the inside of the truck. I stepped inside as well and began rearranging boxes to make more room for the rest of my bedroom furniture.

"Bells! You have a visitor!" Emmett shouted from outside the truck. It was probably someone from the leasing office asking for my keys back. I hopped off the truck, choosing to bypass the ramp. Once I'd landed, I dusted my hands off and looked up.

Edward.

I shoved my hands in my pockets, suddenly very self conscious of my raggedy navy blue tank top and faded jeans. Edward was casting dirty looks towards Emmett who was off in his own world, checking his cell phone.

"Hey." I said meekly as I approached them. They both glanced in my direction.

"Who's the friend?" Emmett asked pointing with his cell phone towards Edward. Edward shot Em another menacing glare before looking back at me.

"Oh, right. Emmett this is Edward. Edward, this is my brother Emmett."

"Your _brother_?" Edward asked sounding surprised. I smirked. "Nothing alike, remember?"

He grinned and nodded, "right."

Emmett's voice broke Edward and my moment. "So who is this kid?"

"Edward and I..." Where to begin? Oh right, he already knew everything.

My sudden pause must have tipped him off and his eyes widened with recognition. "Wait... WAIT. So this is..." his voice trailed off and I nodded as the blush spread across my face like wildfire.

He turned back to look at Edward and gave him the twice over. "Better." He told me looking back approvingly. The entire time Edward looking from me to Em and back, not saying a word.

"Well kids, I'm gonna go finish unloading the apartment. Beldorf, just shout if you need anything." He announced as he back peddled towards the apartment complex.

My eyes focused back on Edward and he was staring right at me. "He knows everything?"

I sighed and nodded. "I had to tell _someone_. And let's just say Em hasn't ever been James' favorite person."

"We should start a club." Edward said dryly, running his fingers through his hair nervously.

"So..."

"So..."

I shook my head, looking at him. "So what're you doing here?"

**EPOV**

Mmk.

What the fuck was I doing here? I had no fucking clue.

"I... um... well..."

"Yea?" Bella asked, biting her lip as she watched me.

"I was just thinking," I started, shuffling a little on my feet and shrugged. "maybe we could...talk a little?" It sounded okay in my head, but...god, why would she even want to?

"Um.." She stalled, looking down at her feet and I could feel my heart drop. "Yea... okay. Let me go just let my brother know." She told me, gesturing over her shoulder and suddenly I was okay again. I was alive again.

I nodded, looking back toward her brother (who really didn't look anything like her) and sighed. "Yeah, I'll wait here," I told her, walking back toward the street and shoving my hands in my pockets.

I had to get through this.

I had to get through this.

I could get through this.

When Bella returned, she gave me a small smile, shrugging her shoulders slightly. Loved her. Loved her so fucking much. "Okay, all set."

I grinned back at her and we started ambling down the road, silence surrounding us. I owed it to her to tell the truth. She deserved to know what the hell was going on in her own life. I had to just man up and tell her.

I had to.

"I thought we could talk...about everything," I started, mumbling as I looked at my shoes. One foot in front of the other. "There's still some things I think you should know."

She nodded, "Okay."

Okay, deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

"I didn't...I wasn't honest with you...when we got together," I started. "And I've done my best to keep that from you since the beginning."

"Honest about what, exactly?" She asked, like I was litereally killing her with every sentence. And I felt like ass about it. I didn't want to give her one more reason to be sad. I didn't want to be the reason she cried again. But I knew I had to. I knew she had to know.

I sighed. "I caught James and Tanya that first night. I've known they were sleeping together from the beginning."

She stopped dead in her tracks, blinking at me. "What?"

I sucked in my cheeks nodding. "Yeah. That...that's my secret."

I felt like shit.

I felt like she was going to smack me and run away.

Honestly, I wouldn't blame her.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I didn't...I didn't expect us, bella. I didn't expect to love you the way I do, and I definitely didn't expect to be with you forever. BUt then...then everything changed when we kissed," My finger tips came up to my lips and a small smile played at my lips. "And I didn't know how to tell you."

"Oh." She mumbled her eyes drifting down to the sidewalk."Oh."

"I know you're pissed and you're probably wondering why the hell I'm telling you this now," I sighed, watching her carefully. "But I thought you should know."

Bella sucked in a deep breath, pushing back her hair as she nodded. "Well, thanks. I mean... I guess it doesn't matter since James and I have been done for months. But... I guess.. thanks for telling me."

I sucked in a deep breath, nodding a little. "Yeah, I know. Well, no I didn't but I wasn't telling you so you'd know about James. I wanted you to know because I felt like shit for keeping it from you. I still feel bad about it. I'm so fucking sorry Bella, I," I pushed the heel of my hands into my eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry."

She nodded slowly, and I could almost see her mind working. "Yea..." She started, "I'm not really sure what to say. I mean... thanks for not waiting for me to find out another way, I guess."

"And Bella, I love you," I told her, keeping my eyes trained on the ground. "I love you very much and you have to know...you _have to _know that Tanya and I never set a date," I plead. "SHe was never...I promise when I proposed, you were my only." I stopped, then added in a whisper. "You still are."

"What?" She asked, her voice soft as she looked up at me.

I blinked at her. "I love you," I murmured, watching her carefully.

Her eyes drifted back down and her face was obscured, but not before a saw a small, coy smile playing at her lips."Oh."

She didn't say it back, but...but it was better than her yelling. I smiled a little, in spite of myself and sighed. "That's all I have, Bella."

"Yea." She nodded, "I-I should get back. I only have the truck til five."

I nodded, feeling a new sense of calm wash over me. "Yeah, okay. I walked down so...I guess, this is I'll see you around?"

"You walked? You live in the neighborhood?" She asked, sounding surprised.

I puffed out a laugh, shaking my head. "Still at the studio. I needed to think," I told her, wondering how, on my walk I'd ended up here. Where she was.

"Oh," She nodded, and maybe I only hoped I saw her seem a little disappointed. "Cool. And yea.. I mean... your studio is so close to my office I'm surprised we haven't bumped into each other before today."

"Yeah, me too," I sighed, watching her watching me. "It's good to see you though. It's...really good."

She smiled a little, her blush springing to life over her cheeks."Yea... it's really good seeing you too."

I love you.

I miss you.

My heart fucking aches for you.

Come home.

"And maybe...I'll see you soon?"

She laughed, biting her lip, "You said that already."

I laughed, feeling my own blush rise. Damn it. "Yeah...sorry, I guess I"m nervous."

"Yea... well.. I should really get going. Take care Edward, really." She rushed out, then turned to jog back toward her building.

I sighed watching her go back inside, and for the first time in a very long time it felt like I was breathing.

**BPOV**

Between lifting boxes up and down flights of stairs, loading and unloading the moving truck and general exhaustion, I managed to talk to my brother.

Thank god he was here.

Otherwise I would have been alone to deal with the aftermath going on in my head.

I wanted to tell him I loved him too.

That I missed him.

That I was sorry for being insane and overreacting and believing whatever was said instead of believing in him and us.

Emmett teased me throughout the afternoon about the guys lining up at my door, before he got older brother on me and warned me about falling for guys that cheat.

And the he said he knew how much I loved Edward, and if I thought there was a chance it could work out for real, that I had to grab it before it was gone.

We hung out the rest of the weekend, goofing off and unpacking and spending a day up in Forks with dad.

Emmett and him went fish and I walked around.

But all I could think about was Edward.

I didn't know if he had the same number and I thought about driving back to Seattle and going to his studio btu that was just adding to my crazy factor.

So I stayed the day, made dinner out of the fish dad and Em had caught, and then the two of us barreled back down to Seattle.

"So you figure out what you're gonna do Belzeratti?" Emmett asked as we sat in rush hour traffic just outside Seattle.

I shook my head. "Not a clue," I admitted.

"Well, sleep on it. Maybe you'll have clearer thoughts without your big brother around." He grinned, rustling my hair. I turned to scowl at him, which just made him laugh and he cranked up the radio.

There was very little that was more amusing that Emmett Swan pelting out Queen lyrics.

I was really lucky to have a brother like him.

A family like I did.

Family.

I sighed, pulling into the underground parking lot of my new apartment complex and swerving into an available spot.

"So, call me when you get home." I reminded Emmett as he hopped out of the car and started jogging over to his muscle truck.

"Yes mom!" He shouted over his shoulder.

I knew he was anxious to get home and to his new love - an Alaskan Husky named Grizzly. I waved as he flipped the ignition and revved up his engine. He grinned, flipping me the peace sign as he whipped into reverse and out of the parking lot.

I headed up to my apartment, where there were still a dozen or so unpacked boxes laying around the various rooms.

There was no energy left in me to bother, so I bypassed them all and b-lined for my bed. Falling backwards onto it, I let myself indulge in the memory of Edward and I on it, spending lazy Sundays curled up together or me under him or visa versa.

The dresser drawer I'd cleared out for him, once again full of my unmentionables. The shelf in the medicine cabinet - the highest one - was cluttered already with my allergy pills, spare razor blades and bandaids.

I felt my stomach grumble and sat up, moving into the kitchen to forage. I hated that just seeing Edward for twenty minutes brought back everything tenfold.

All the memories.

All the good times. And bad. And just...

loving him.

I loved him so much it still hurt to think I'd have to stop one day.

But, did I really have to?

Edward had said he still loved me.

And maybe, we couldn't go on as we had.

Our relationship couldn't be built on infidelty and sex and we couldn't pretend that it was something other than that.

But what if it was something other than that. What if it didn't start as a one night stand, caused by lies and betrayl. What if it was more.

What if we had a solid foundation?

I whipped out my phone and grinned with anticipation and hope - something I hadn't had in a very long time.

**i'm not sure if this is still Edward's phone but if it is... and Edward is hungry... the smurfs would like to meet at a specific downtown seattle restaurant in... **I glanced up at the time before going back to typing **20 minutes**

I grabbed the coat hanging on my newly purchased coat rack and couldn't help what a good omen it could possibly be.

It was Edward's coat.

**EPOV**

**i'm not sure if this is still Edward's phone but if it is...and Edward is hungry...the smurfs would like to meet at a specific downtown seattle restaurant in...20 minutes**

I laughed, grinning a little and scratched the back of my neck.

Was I hungry? No, not really.

But did I want to see her? Of course.

I couldn't give up this time. I couldn't let decisions that were made or weren't made get to me because in the end, I had to live with it. I had to fight for her; fight for us. I wanted to cling to whatever was left of bella and I even if there was nothing tangible. Even if there was no Bella for me.

And to be honest, I didn't expect there to be.

My Bella, the Bella I'd met all those months ago was someone I admired, someone I wanted to be like. She didn't hold back and she was completely her own. She never listened to people tell her she couldn't or that it was impossible. Everything was possible for my Bella.

And I knew, after all of the time that passed, and after everything we'd been through there was a very good chance she wouldn't trust me with her heart again. But maybe...maybe she still cared for me. That was enough to make it worth going.

I threw on my coat, hustling down to the garage to get my car and dive out to the docks with more speed than I knew I was capable of. I just knew I had to get there. I had to prove myself to her after everything so that she knew I was all in this time. I didn't have a foot out the door, and there wasn't someone else.

Only her.

Only ever her.

My heart was thumping as though I'd pushed the car to the docks when I got there. I walked slowly to the entrance, my feet like lead.

Everything would be okay.

And as soon as I saw her face, I knew that was true.

She was at the bar, her hands clasped in her lap as she stared at the menu. I made my way over to her slowly, then say beside her. "Hey," I said, my voice sounding quieter than I'd anitcipated.

Bella looked up, smiling as she reached out to shake my hand. "Hi there. I'm... Bella Swan."

I puffed out a laugh, doing a double take and nodded. I took her hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you, I'm Edward Cullen."

"Nice to meet you," She grinned, her smile lighting up her face."Can I buy you a drink?"

I laughed a little, biting my lip. "Sure. Uh...whisky sour?"

Bella held out a hand for the bar tender and ordered for us both before turning back to me. "Are you here for dinner too, or just a drink?"

"Dinner," I nodded, smiling over at her again. "Are you...waiting for someone?"

"Not tonight," She said, paying for our drinks before she smiled, "What about you?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Free as a bird." Except for my heart. It belongs to you.

"Well, perhaps you'd like to join me for dinner then?" She invited, handing me my drink and looking at me over the rim of hers.

I nodded, taking the glass from her and holding it in my hands. "Sounds good, thank you."

Bella got up first and slung her-no, my jacket over her shoulders. My jacket. She'd kept it. "Lead the way."

I grinned over at her, seeing my girl and everything we'd been through. The fights, the lies, the cheating the secrets...and somehow it all faded away. It was just Bella and I again. Just the two of us against whatever came our way. "Gladly," I grinned, following her to the hostess and then to a table; the same table we'd had our first date at all those months ago.

This was the way it should have been.

Bella sat across from me, taking a sip of her drink before she spoke again, "So, you want to hear this hilarious theory I've heard about racist smurfs?" She asked me, beaming all the while.

I nodded, grinning over at her and leaned across the table. "Badly."

She started telling me my theory again rehashing every detail of it, as we ate and talked and laughed. It sounded better when she told it. Everything seemed like a distant memory, but new at the same time. Everything was fresh again, and everything was clear. It was beginning again.

We finished and I sat back, watching as the sun set behind her. "Hey, you wanna walk down to the docs?" I asked, smiling a little over at her.

Bella noddd, "Sure, I parked near them."

I laughed a little, nodding as I paid the check, then started for the door. "It's supposed to be a beautiful night."

She turned, looking out the window and I felt her hand brush against mine. "Mhm."

I looped my hand around, brushing my fingers over her palm at scratching lightly at it. "I love the water, too. It's nice down here.'

"Yea, it is... relaxing." She said, lacing her fingers with mine and and I sighed.

I squeezed her hand in mine, sighing a little as we stopped to look over the water. "It'd be nice to just take a boat and sail away."

Her face scrunched up in the most adorable way and I couldn't help but smile. "I don't like boats. My balance is bad enough on stable ground... boats are kind of a no-no for me." She laughed, as though I needed to be reminded of this.

I laughed, leaning my head on my free hand as i looked over at her. "I take it your a klutz, then." My klutz.

She nodded, pulling our laced hands around her back so that she was even closer to me, and I could smell her familiar scent. "Yea, a bit." She murmured, blushing a little.

I pulled her closer, her face inches away from mine and I sighed. "I'll have to be careful to keep you up then."

She nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yea, the best way is usually not to let go."

I shook my head, my other hand coming up to brush over her cheek. "I don't think I can."

"Good, because I don't think I want you to."

I nodded, leaning in to press my lips gently to hers. Suddenly my world exploded. Color, light everything that I'd been missing was pouring into my world. Bella brought that for me. She took a kid who probably didn't deserve her or for her to love him and made him better. I grew up because of her. Because she loved me and made me accountable.

But I still felt...calm.

As if every single moment in my life were leading up to this one moment.

"This feels different," I sighed, pulling back a little and dropping the charade as I kissed over her face.

Her hand came up to my jaw and she nodded, "Better... it's just so much better." And with that her lips were on mine again.

She was right, it was.

For the first time, it was everything it could be.


End file.
